Chapter Text
Alec groans as he picks up the clothes that are littered across the room. He has no idea how one person can possibly own this many clothes and moreover—how the actual fuck are they affording this because he sure as hell isn’t paying for them.
Or so he thinks.
“Can you both clean up for once?”
“This is not me. This is all Ari's fault.”
Ari hits Max on the shoulder in response, “You fucking liar.”
“Language.”
Both of them roll their eyes, very much like him and it makes him smile. And ache, because he’s not going to have this for much longer.
No one really talks about this part of parenthood, do they?
How soul-crushingly does the devastation hits when your children grow up and are ready to leave you?
People talk about how fulfilling having a child is, and how cute and beautiful babies are but where does one find the warnings about the loneliness that it also brings?
Max wanders around the room trying to find something. “I know you stole something from me last night when you came to my room.”
“And what did I steal?”
“I don’t know,” Max huffs, then glares at her sister. “But I will find out.”
“You spent the entire night last night trying to find out what this ‘thing’ is,” Ari points out.
He shakes his head in affection because these two are such fucking idiots.
Max and Ari have always been extremely close. Alec likes to think that he found Ari but that’s not true.
Max found Ari. The same way Max found Alec.
Everything in Alec’s life always starts with Max.
“Okay, you two. Cut it out and maybe try saying goodbye like normal people for once.”
“I’m okay,” Ari huffs.
Alec’s lips turn upwards. “Really? Then, why are you wearing sunglasses inside the house?”
“Because I look hot?” Ari mumbles.
“Sure, baby,” Alec laughs and he kisses her head.
“I need to revamp my aesthetic for this trip.”
Max throws the clothes from the bed—and yes, there are thousands of more clothes on the bed onto the floor and makes space for himself. “Stop dressing up like Hannah Montana and you’ll do just fine.”
Alec snorts at the words because he knows who Hannah Montana is, since Max is a huge fan of that show, and a good majority of Alec’s life has gone into bingeing the entirety of Disney Channel Shows.
Ari throws a pillow at him. “Shut the fuck up, Max.”
“Kids. Language.”
He helps Ari pack into the boxes but then he gets a call for a meeting and groans. He specifically asked his team to not call him for the next week unless the building was on fire, which when he picks up the call—it was not. The building stands just fine.
“I’ll help her,” Max says, sufferingly.
Max is meticulous. He is good at doing tasks. He is good at folding clothes too which is not a talent that’s important enough but it comes in handy at times like this. But Max is Max, and the ‘a’ in his name is short for ‘asshole’ which is why he refuses to help her fully knowing that Arianna is incapable of doing tasks.
Alec attends his fifteen minute futile call and comes back to the room, to find the two shuffling through an old carton box in silence. He sits next to them and resumes the folding.
“Dad, who is this?”
Alec looks up from the floor and finds Max looking at a polaroid in his hand. He lets out a hand to take the picture and his heart stutters in his chest as he takes it in.
It's an old picture.
But the person in it stays immortal.
Even today, these eyes come back to him in his dreams.
He sighs softly.
“Dad?”
“Yeah?” He lifts his head to find both of them staring at him curiously.
“Who’s the super hot guy in the picture?” Arianna asks.
Alec chuckles. He thinks that his kids are old enough for them to know about him. About the secrets that Alec hides inside of him–if only briefly.
Max has gone through three breakups in the past one year and he’d always seemed somewhere between extremely devastated and not fazed at all after each one. Alec can never understand what he’s really feeling and every time he tries to talk to him, Max would just tell him that he got bored.
He knows that there's something more because Max is not the kind of person who dates frivolously. Max is sweet, and is a ray of sunshine in the lives of anyone he touches. So, Alec knows there’s more. He talked to Clary and Simon about it, because his own siblings always get too medley in the kids' lives. So, Clary and Simon were the safer option. They had told him that maybe he needs to share more, open up more about his own life for the kids to trust him back with theirs.
Alec had scoffed internally because his kids are his entire life and what more can Alec share with them. But then, Clary had made him understand in a lot nicer way than Izzy ever would have.
So, maybe this is the opening.
And maybe, Alec wants his kids to know about the other man. About how he’s a kinder person because of him.
Alec might not have him in his life anymore, but he wants the world to know about the greatest love of his life.
Magic like that never happens twice.
“Someone I love,” he says simply.
Max raises an eyebrow. “Love? Or loved?”
When you’re in love, and someone asks you about the person you’re in love with, your face changes instantly. You can try to not let that happen but it's impossible. Alec knows how people look while they’re in love.
Even after twenty years, when Alec asks about Clary, Jace smiles like he just won the lottery. Any time Izzy is out on a work trip, she finds the local bookstore and gets whatever comics she can for Simon.
Alec knows what love looks and feels like.
He knows it's evident on his face right now.
“Love.”
“Love?” Max repeats and Alec can understand why.
Alec swallows, “I never got to finish loving him. So, it’s love.” He stares at the picture in his hand, his lips curling upwards. He gets lost in memories again. Beautiful and happy and a bit tragic.
He misses the kids calling his name.
“Dad?”
“Dad?”
“What?” He finally lifts his head and finds a deep furrow on both their faces. “Yeah. Sorry, Let's get back to work.”
“What’s his name?”
“Magnus.”
“Where is he from? What does he do? Where is he right now?’
Alec breathes, running a hand through his face. He’s not ready to answer all of this, right now.
“We have work to do.”
“But, dad,” Ari opens her mouth to say something but Max gives her a look and she exhales.
It's another few hours before Alec finishes packing, more and more clothes just falling from Ari’s closet, increasing his worries for his bank account.
He’s washing the dishes later that night when he’s interrupted by Max. Now, Max is someone, who while meticulous with tasks, gets the ick with everything. He absolutely hates anything that’s even a little dirty—the dishes, the dirt on the sidewalk, public washrooms, everything. So, when Max picks up a dirty dish from the sink and starts soaking it up, Alec’s alert, but he doesn’t say anything. Max quietly washes the dishes, not making the disgusting face he does whenever he has to do tasks like this.
“I’m thinking of staying for another week,” Max says after half of the dishes are done.
Alec turns his head, “Didn’t you have that prank week at your uni next week?”
“I do. But it’s not important so I think I’m just going to stay,” Max adds.
Alec frowns. Max came two weeks back and he was supposed to leave soon. He also loves to fuck with people so him skipping on prank week is a red alert.
“Is everything okay at uni?” He asks, worried that maybe Max is staying to avoid something.
“Yes, Dad.”
“You were excited about it.”
“I still am. But it’s not a priority right now,” Max replies.
“And what is?” He pushes
“Nothing. I just want to be home for a few days. Catch up with a few friends here,” he adds.
He knows kids can get away with lying. Everyone thinks that when they become a parent, they’ll easily be able to catch their kids in a lie. But it’s not true. Because when sometimes people lie—they’re doing it to protect a part of their heart. It’s difficult to catch someone in a lie when it’s coming from their heart.
Max and Ari always get away with a lot of lies; some Alec catches them in, others he lets them get away with, and some, he’s unaware of but this—this one he can see.
“Sounds fake but okay,” is all he replies.
Max groans. “You’re so annoying, bro.”
“Don’t call me bro.”
“Okay, old man,” Max grins.
Alec shakes his head in affection. “Will you tell me what’s going on, now?”
“Nothing' is going on. I just want to be home for a while after Ari leaves.”
Oh.
It’s a weird feeling to have. His heart feels warm with love but it's also mixed with sadness and a bit of heartbreak if he’s being honest. It’s not that Alec doesn’t know how much his kids love him—he does, but, it's weird to have proof of that in his face like this.
Somehow this is more vulnerable and meaningful than any I love you can be and that makes it all the worse. This, Max, his Max, his chaotic little asshole of a son subtly trying to stay home because he’s worried for him is proof that his kids have finally grown up. Alec doesn’t know what to feel instead of pure heartbreak.
“You don’t have to stay here for me,” He tells Max.
Max hums, “I know. I want to.”
“You must be really worried about me if you’re willing to wash dishes just to tell me all this,” Alec says, bringing levity to the situation.
But today seems to be one of those days that’s not going to end without a heavy load on his heart, the kind that ends in tears; Max doesn’t smile even then. He doesn’t make some crass joke or tries to diffuse the situation.
He gives Alec a small, frankly pathetically sad smile as he says, “I’m worried about you, Dad.”
Alec moves closer to Max and squishes his ears, the way he’s been doing since Max was a baby. “Ari is not going away to another planet, you know?”
Max sniffles and collides with his chest.
“What’s going on?”
Alec groans. “Fucking great.” He looks up behind Max’s shoulder to find Ari with a forlorn look on her face.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Alec says sweetly, “Max is being a dramatic little shit. Please make him stop.”
“Max,” Ari says seriously. “Are you hogging my ‘Dad’ time?”
Max blows the soapy water at Ari. “There’s no such thing as ‘Dad’ time, you little princess.”
“There is,” Alec and Ari point out at the same time, high-fiving without looking at each other.
“Thank you, Dad,” Max rolls his eyes. “Don't let me be under the false impression that you do not have any favourites in this house.”
Alec ruffles his hair, pulling a whine out of the boy. “One should never lie to their kids.”
Ari laughs at that and cuddles against Alec’s chest.
“Let’s watch some Queer Eye,” Max comments and jumps through the back of the sofa, even though it saves him no extra seconds at all.
But Alec stopped trying to teach Max manners years ago, since he realised that Max is like a golden retriever in human form.
It is what it is.
He rolls his eyes, albeit fondly, and sits next to them. Alec’s gaze falls over the small polaroid that's on the table. He spent the better part of his day holding it in his hands.
“Do you have any pictures of the two of you?” Ari asks quietly, after a while.
Both of them peer at him curiously. Alec thinks for a moment before he nods.
Max’s eyes gleam. “Show us. Show us. Show us.” The boy jumps off the couch again, crawling over Ari, who hits him on the chest.
“Max, you fucking moron. Can you for once walk like a normal person?”
“Is it in that carton?” Max ignores Ari and makes his way towards the room where they had found the carton initially. He brings it back and places it on the table.
Alec doesn't know why but his heart skips a beat, he’s not sure if in a good or bad way but he feels suddenly nervous.
He rummages through the carton and finds a notebook.
“You had a diary?” Ari gapes. “I did not take you for a journal person, Dad.”
Alec is a big journal person. Always has been. But over the years, life got a little heavy, a little tiresome and his feelings became too big to be contained in a diary. Or so he tells himself. Maybe he's just been scared.
He opens the diary and takes out a picture, running gentle fingers over it.
It doesn't feel real to him—that a lifetime has passed since this picture. For a second he believes that it was all a dream, that all of it, Magnus, never happened and it's his own vast imagination. But Alec knows, believes it with everything inside of him that he could never, not in a billion years conjure up something as beautiful as Magnus.
The picture is from almost 21 years ago; it's a bit faded now but the smiles on his and Magnus's face seem as eternal as they did.
“When you love someone as much as I love you, it becomes permanent and is part of the world. It's eternal now,” Magnus told him once.
He smiles, nostalgia and melancholy filling his chest as he passes the picture to Max.
“Oh wow. You both were hot,” Ari comments, snatching the picture from Max.
Max peeps over her shoulder to look at the picture and something flashes on his face, something Alec can't quite put a finger on.
“You look like you’re in love,” Max whispers as if it's a secret. As if Alec hasn't felt the weight of that love for 21 years.
“We were.”
“What happened?”
A small sigh escapes his lips and Alec tries to find the words to explain to his kids but he fails. He's not sure if there’s anything to explain.
“Nothing. Everything.”
“That explains everything,” Max comments.
It's weird to have this conversation with his kids. He’s not mentioned Magnus in years; he used to—to Izzy and Jace but then they would give him that sad look and it made Alec’s heart hurt so he stopped altogether. He doesn't know how the name would feel on his lips, he knows it still feels the same inside his heart but he's not really sure if his voice would go a few octaves down like it always did when he said the name.
“We thought we had all the time in the world but we didn’t.”
“You ended on bad terms?” Ari asks gently.
Alec shakes his head because no, they didn't end on bad terms. Alec doesn't think there has ever been a more heartbreakingly amicable breakup in the history of the world and what cruel twist of fate had him go through one. Because if they had broken up on bad terms, at least Alec can hate the man but in the end, like it's been since day one, there had only ever been love.
“No.”
“Then why?” Ari whines and Alec ruffes her hair, understanding why it might be frustrating to a 17-year-old.
“Do you still love him?” Max asks.
“Always will.”
“How have you never told him about us?”
“Never seemed like the right time, I guess,” He swallows.
Max holds out his hand for Alec to take while Ari puts her head on his shoulder. It envelopes in warmth, their presence and he revels in it.
“Is he the reason why you never married? Or dated?”
Alec never dated because he never had the time. After Max, he was lost. And then he found a baby, and then another baby and Alec had to figure out the whole single-parent thing and before he knew it, he had a house full of two rambunctious teenagers, running him ragged.
Dating was never a priority because his life was full.
Also, no one was Magnus.
You don't get loved by Magnus Bane and then settle for anything less.
“I never married because you two would have ruined the poor bloke’s life,” Alec teases, because that’s the easier answer. “I could never do that to another person. I’m suffering enough.”
Max chuckles and Ari rolls her eyes.
When Alec calls it a night, the two are already passed out on the couch. He shakes them up but they both refuse to move so he just puts a blanket on the two of them and returns to his room.
And like many nights in his life, throughout the years, he dreams of golden-green eyes.
________________________________________________________________
Two days later, on their way to drop Ari, Max brings it up again.
“Maybe you should call him.”
“Call who?” He asks offhandedly while pushing on the accelerator as the road clears off any traffic.
“Your mystery man. Your one true love or whatever.”
Alec pulls the brakes a little harshly, turning his head towards Max. “What?”
“That guy. Why don't you call him?”
“Because-” He trails off at the end, not knowing how to finish the sentence.
“Yeah?”
“I don't want to,” he replies but the lie is evident on his face.
“Sure.”
“Max.”
“Come on, Dad. What's the worst that could happen?”
He could pick up?
Or Magnus’s partner, if there is one, which would be worse.
There are hundreds of reasons why Alec is not going to call Magnus. He can make a list— hell , he can make an entire PowerPoint presentation and Alec absolutely loathes PowerPoint.
But none of those reasons are the reason why Alec won't call him.
There's just one.
And Alec chooses to stay oblivious, then risk that happening.
“I am not calling him. Also, I don’t have his number.”
“I can arrange that.”
“No, thank you.”
“But why?” Ari argues and Alec inhales deeply, closing his eyes. He doesn't want them to get into an argument right now. Not when he's about to drop Ari off. Not when his heart is already feeling pretty broken. There's only so much sadness Alec can deal with right now and as much as Alec loves Magnus, it does not hold a torch to how much he loves Max and Ari.
Magnus might be his first love but Max and Ari are his last.
“Can you just drop it, Ari?” Alec says, irritation seeping into his voice.
Ari frowns, “Why? What's the big fucking deal?”
“Ari,” Max warns her, gently.
Alec loves Ari more than anything but there's no one, absolutely no one in the world who can get on the nerves like this girl. It's very similar to how Izzy irks him sometimes so he wonders if maybe it's a woman thing. Most women in Alec’s life are good at seeing right through his bullshit and while it's helped him in more times than he can count, he's not ready for this conversation right now.
“The big fucking deal is that I’m leaving and Max is leaving and we don't want you to be fucking alone,” She says harshly.
“You’re not leaving forever. This is a four-month thing,” Alec swallows then counts to ten in his head and fights the fight that bubbles inside his head.
“Ari,” Max swallows, his voice thick with emotions. Sometimes, no one can get through Ari as Max can. The two have always been attached to the hip, always ganging up on Alec.
Max is the peacemaker of their house. He is also the instigator of most things leading to chaos. He is opinionated and stubborn but also sweet, someone who is always willing to take a minute to listen to the other person. He is a conundrum, Alec thinks.
Arianna though, Arianna is a little too crass. She comes off as someone closed off to the people who don't know her because she's honest to a fault and Alec knows for a fact that it isn't as good of a quality as everyone thinks it to be.
He breathes deeply, clutching the steering wheel a little tighter as he replies, “I’m not going to be alone. I have a life outside of you two.”
“Do you though?” Max asks this time, not unkindly.
There are words on the top of his tongue that he wishes to speak. He wants to tell them, tell them that he's fucking heartbroken and sad and scared shit out of his life at the possibility of having to live alone after twenty fucking years. He’s driving a 45-hour car ride only because he’s scared to go back home—to an empty house.
But Alec can't say that. These aren't things you tell your kids who are going out to live their lives. Some things are reserved to be spoken after a drink or ten, in front of your siblings.
He lets Max’s words hang in the air, not replying to them, and focuses back on the road in front of him. Another four hours passes without a single one of them uttering a single word and Alec’s fucking had it.
He stops the car at a diner for dinner.
“You two need to stop with the bitchy faces,” Alec announces the second they take their seats.
Ari rolls her eyes and focuses on the menu.
Max gives him a toothed smile, the two of them exchanging a silent conversation about how to diffuse the bomb.
“You know, if you’re so worried about me, maybe you don't have to go on this trip,” Alec suggests, knowing it will only push Ari’s buttons. But he’d rather have her fight with him than stay silent.
Ari looks up. “Dad. You know I need to do this.”
“I don’t really,” he replies, honestly. He doesn’t get why Ari needs to go off and do this stupid, reckless thing.
Max shakes his head subtly.
Abort. Abort. Alec can read on his face.
Alec rolls his eyes, he’s not scared of his kids. They are not the boss of him.
He remembers calling Jace and crying when Ari had told him about her plan. “I don’t get it, Jace. I will not allow this.”
“Alec.”
It had gone for hours and hours before Jace had told him how it must feel for her. “She has never felt in control of her life, Alec. This helps her take back control.”
“And what happens if a shark eats her.”
Jace had disconnected the phone after that like the dick he was.
“We have twenty more hours left to drive. I could turn back the car.”
“You’re just being annoying because I pushed you about Magnus,” she argues.
A huge grin appears on his face. “Don’t like it very much when it’s pointed towards you, doesn’t it?”
Ari huffs out. “We just want you to be happy.”
Alec sighs softly before he looks at the two of them, seriousness on his face, as he speaks, “I am happy.”
He knows the two want to argue more but maybe they see the desperation on his face so they stop for the time being.
“Fine.”
Ari only brings it up once, every fortnightly, and Alec's answer is the same.
Until two months later, when his life changes again.
________________________________________________________________
In no version of today, things are supposed to unwind the way they end up being.
Alec has to meet a client today. He doesn’t meddle into day-to-day affairs anymore, trusts his team and likes the downtime but he needs to be there today. Jace had met the client once, and he specifically requested Alec for today’s meeting.
Those are usually the dickish kind of clients who don’t work well with the rest of the team.
“Why does he want to meet me?” He grumbles.
There’s some disturbance in the line but then Jace replies, “I don’t know. Everything was going well and then he asked about the owner. As soon as he heard your name, he wanted to meet you.”
“Annoying.”
“Seemed like a bit of a dick too. He had an airy sense of confidence, like he was doing me a favour by being there.”
Alec chuckles through the phone, “So, basically, you met yourself?”
“Rude.”
“Now, you feel how everyone feels when they’re talking to you,” Alec grins.
“Fuck yourself,” Jace replies. “And be there on time.”
Alec gets dressed to meet up with the client. Max, home for a few days, tags along with him because he wants free lunch even though Alec has told him that the money spent on client lunches is still money spent from his own pocket.
They reach Alec’s office where the meeting is going to take place.
Jeremy, his P.A. lets him know that the client is waiting in the meeting room on the eighth floor so they make their way there.
“Why are you joining me at my meeting?”
“I’m bored.”
“You are a weird kid, Max.”
“Hmmm.”
Alec enters the room to find a young man, with his back towards them, looking out of the window.
“Hello?”
The man turns, and Alec realises he’s a kid, not more than twenty years old. Alec has reached an age where anyone under the age of twenty-five seems like a kid to him.
Alec’s never met a man more stylish than Magnus, who looks like a fucking model but this boy, he’s a close second. He’s in a salmon cardigan, and yes, Alec can differentiate between the different types of pink, he’s sure this is salmon; paired with white pants and sports shoes. The boy has curly hair and a bit of eyeliner and he reminds Alec of someone so much that it sends a pang across his chest.
There’s something so familiar about him but Alec knows for a fact that he’s never met this kid before.
“I’m Alec Lightwood,” Alec lets out a hand. “And you must be Rafael?”
The boy doesn’t reply, continuing to stare at him. Alec steps forward to take the seat but accidentally knocks on the chair in front, next to Rafael’s legs and the papers in his hands fall down.
“Oh fuck. I’m so sorry,” The boy replies as he gets down to help Alec.
Max bends down to help the other boy. “It’s not your fault. It’s my Dad’s old age making him lose any sense of sight and direction,” Max quips.
The boy chuckles softly.
Alec rolls his eyes at Max and wishes he could trade Max for whoever this kid is.
But then Alec remembers the hole in his pocket created by Ari's fashion escapades and he doubts he can deal with another fashion-savvy kid. Max is better in this field—he loves weAring the most basic shit, as Ari liked to call it.
A phone flips out of the boy’s pocket.
“Your phone dropped,” Alec says as he crouches down as well. “It's my fault actually. You don't have to help.”
“It’s okay,” The boy replies. “My Bapak will have my head if he finds out that I didn't help you.”
“And how is your Bapak going to find out?” Alec asks.
The fashionable kid, not Alec’s own, unfashionable kid sighs but there’s fondness all over his face when he replies, “Bapak sees everything. He will know.”
Alec thinks that it is highly unlikely that this kid’s back is going to find out that he bumped into a stranger but he doesn't say that. It's sweet that the kid cares.
His phone rings and he beams as he turns his phone to show Alec. “See? He knows.”
Max tilts his face towards Alec and gives him a look and Alec glares because it’s Max’s ‘ Is he crazy’ look and for some explicable reason, Alec wants this kid to like him. Alec also gets the feeling that it’s a difficult task to please this kid, even though he has exchanged barely two words with him.
“Bapak, hello. Yes, I’ll be there in five minutes.”
Five minutes? We have a meeting, he thinks.
“Rafael,” the voice on the other end speaks and Alec’s ears perk up.
Before he can hear anything from the other end, the boy disconnects the call.
The three of them catch all the paper eventually and stand back up.
“Thank you,” Alec swallows.
The boy, Rafael , finally looks at his face and Alec doesn't miss the way his eyes widen.
“¡Dios mío!” Rafael exclaims.
Max and Alec exchange confused glances at each other.
“Fuck,” The boy mutters and Alec wonders if he's having a stroke.
“Are you okay?” Max asks this time.
Rafael shakes his head frantically before he speaks, but there's hesitation in his voice. “Are you Alec Lightwood?”
Alec narrows his brows. “Yes?”
“You don’t seem very sure about the answer.”
“Yes, I’m Alec Lightwood.”
“Okay. Okay,” The kid mumbles. “Listen, I need you to come with me somewhere.”
“Why? We are supposed to have the meeting here.”
Rafael rolls his eyes, as if Alec’s the one being unreasonable. “I know. But I just needed to see you before I was sure.”
“Sure of what?”
“That you are Alec Lightwood,” the boy explains, as if that makes sense.
“Of course I am Alec Lightwood.”
“Man. You are difficult,” the boy groans.
Alec throws his hands up in the air, “How am I the difficult one when you are the one who requested the meeting with me and are now talking crazy.”
The boy takes a deep breath. “Mr. Lightwood, I understand how this might seem like. But I need you to come somewhere with me. Right now.”
“No. He does not,” Max quips in between.
Rafael ignores Max and continues, “You need to. It’s very important. I know someone who knows you. And they would like to meet you.”
“And why can’t this person be here?”
“And who is this someone?” Max inquires.
“My Bapak,” The kid replies. “Please, you will not regret it.”
“He doesn’t know your Bapak. What’s his name?”
“I don’t want to tell you in case you say no.”
“That is not a very convincing argument,” Max insists.
Rafael turns fully to Alec then and huffs. “Come on. What’s the harm?”
Their back and forth keeps on going. Like they have been doing this for years.
This kid seems like he has never heard a ‘no’ in his life. He’s stubborn as he keeps on insisting.
He is not really sure why but there is something about this kid, something about him that makes Alec want to trust him. And he knows it sounds stupid, and that he can potentially get in trouble but he wants to believe the kid.
He takes a look at the kid standing next to him, his kid —Alec's life and heart, and no matter how nice this boy looks Alec's not going to risk Max’s safety just because he's having an intuition.
He had assumed once that avocados taste good and he turned out to be wrong. Avocados taste like nothing so he isn't going to base this on an assumption.
“Max, why don't you stay here? I'll be back in a while,” he turns to Max.
“What? You’re not really considering this?”
“Oh, I didn’t realise he was the boss of you,” The kid says to Alec.
Alec glares at the boy, fully knowing what he was trying to do.
He hates that it was working instantly.
Ari is right, mean really do be stupid..
“Max, I’ll just go and see what he is on about.”
Max throws up his hands in the air. “I’m coming with you, then?”
“Max.”
“I’m not letting you go alone,” He retorts back.
“You're not letting me? I'm the parent here.”
“Excuse me? You can both come, I don't mind,” Rafael interjects.
"Of course you don't, you're planning to rob us. Dad’s not even that rich bro."
Alec elbows Max.
The two of them have a five-second staring match, and he wonders why he is even trying because Alec’s been on the opposite side of victory for the past eighteen years.
He pursues his lips and nods at Rafael, “Okay. We’ll both come.”
“Thank you, Sir. I know this seems whack but if I think you are who you are, you won't regret it.”
This kid is fucking dramatic, Alec thinks. He can't imagine the ordeal the parents must have gone through raising this boy.
“It's around the corner,” Rafael speaks. “It’s barely a ten minute walk.”
“You’re walking in front of us,” Max warns.
Rafael raises an eyebrow at that, “You know if I wanted to murder you two, I could easily have?”
“Easily?”
“Yep. I lived the first five years of my life on the streets before my Bapak found me. I picked up a skill or two from there,”
Alec tries to picture his Max or Ari in that situation and a chilly shudder courses through his body.
Fifteen minutes later, they reach their location as Max mumbles, “It's been fifteen minutes not five. All men do is lie.”
“You are a man.”
“Yeah. But I'm better.”
All the chattiness leaves the boy’s face and is replaced by nervous energy again. “Give me a minute, “I'll just call him.”
“Call who?” Alec mutters for only Max to hear, “Fucking Queen of England.”
“Dad, she’s dead,” Max replies.
“Necromancy is a thing.”
“Is Ari forcing you to watch those creepy crime documentaries again?”
“Maybe.”
“Something is deeply disturbing about that girl,” Max breathes, looking genuinely concerned.
“It's this way,” Rafael who’s been ignoring, or pretending to ignore their conversation inhales. Just then the boy’s phone rings but he disconnects it.
They enter the elevator to this fancy restaurant Alec’s never been to. It's surrounded by green interiors on every side, a little bit on the nose Alec thinks.
The elevator stops on the terrace and the rooftop is fucking ginormous, laden with greenery and pastel interior on all sides.
Rafael turns towards Alec with an apologetic smile, “Thank you for coming but in case this ends up being a colossal mistake, I apologise.”
On the far end of the terrace, there’s a small table where a man is sitting with his back towards the three of them. Rafael runs up to him and says,
“Bapak.”
Alec sure as hell has never met this kid's dad so he's not sure why this kid crossed these lengths to get them to meet.
“Rafael, did you just disconnect my call,” The man speaks, his voice as smooth as honey. “The disrespect”
The boy, Rafael, chuckles softly, scratching the back of his head as he replies, “I’m sorry.”
“You get one free pass, young man. Come on, time for brunch. You know how I feel about missing breakfast,” The man says dramatically, with an airy voice of wisdom but Alec can see right through the theatrics.
it's been twenty-one fucking years but it takes Alec barely a second to recognize who the voice belongs to. It's frankly scary how well, how easily he can remember it.
“Bapak,” the kid says again. “I want you to meet someone.”
“Who?”
Rafael points at Alec and Magnus turns in his direction.
Alec’s led a good life, he is happy. Life never goes as your plans, and sure, a young 21-year-old Alec envisioned his life differently, and if he saw Alec of today, there’s a chance he wouldn't recognise the man but Alec likes his life.
He has a good job, a supportive family, and kids that Alec adores more than anything in the world. Even if said kids have left their home to figure out their own lives, Alec’s okay.
But right now, in this very moment, as Alec stares into the eyes of the only man he’s ever loved, he wonders how he ever let himself believe that he was okay.
Right now, Alec feels like the very ground is crumbling beneath him and he wants it to swallow him up. He can feel years of pent-up heartbreak and pain rising to the surface. Alec wants to turn back and run because of all this pain that Alec has been keeping bottled up in the back of his mind and heart, the one that always felt like chronic pain, it feels like hot raging fire right now.
Rafael moves aside, making room for their eyes to meet and suddenly those twenty-one years feel like twenty-one seconds as the man inhales, “Alexander?”
Alec’s been a lot of things in his life.
When Izzy was a toddler she found it hard to pronounce Alec or Alexander so she just used to call him ‘big’ for a while. It was stupid but cute.
Max, his brother, who never got to live as long as he should have used to call Alec ‘lick’, and Jace made plenty of fun of him for that.
Simon likes to annoy Alec and refers to him as ‘B-I-L’ sometimes.
And for the past eighteen or so years, Alec’s been ‘Daddy’ and ‘Dad’ and there is nothing in the world that brings him more happiness.
But in all these years and between all those words, Alec’s never been ‘Alexander’ because ‘Alexander’ only ever existed in one man’s arms.
Alexander only ever existed for Magnus Bane.
Before Alec sees him properly, Alec feels him. Alec feels the air around him change, charged with something akin to hope.
He closes his eyes, and inhales deeply, flooded with the onslaught of memories. A lifetime of love and pain passes between the two of them, before Alec replies, through a suffocated breath that somehow also sounds like liberation. “Magnus.”
“Alexander,” Magnus breathes and it sounds like a plea.
Like a prayer.
Their surroundings cease to matter. At this moment, nothing but them matters as they both take a few steps closer to each other, not breaking eye contact at all.
Alec sees him and his heart flips because Magnus Bane still looks as beautiful and breathtaking as ever.
Maybe he’s one of those immortal beings from all the fantasy shows that Ari watches.
Or maybe it's just Magnus. Eternally beautiful.
And suddenly, all the pain and heartbreak leaves and all Alec can feel is love.
All Alec feels is Magnus.
The man is in an orange striped waistcoat, paired with brown pants. The first button on the waistcoat is open, revealing his silky skin. The belt in the middle highlights his waist. Alec wants to put his hands on him, not to do anything, but just to touch him.
Touching Magnus has been and will always be Alec’s miracle.
Eighteen-year-old Alec Lightwood and Nineteen-year-old Magnus Bane met in a crowded subway tunnel in Paris.
The two of them didn't know then that one meeting was going to change their lives, anyone seldom does.
In the best of ways. In the worst of ways.
Alec never said this out loud but all his teenage years he had craved for a love that swept him off his feet, making him drown in it. But Alec was a closeted teenager back then and love seemed like something that people like him weren't allowed to have. It's not until he turned up in Paris with a twist of fate that he finally, finally got something much more than his teenage fantasies could ever conjure up.
Thirteen-year-old Alec Lightwood never saw Magnus Bane coming.
Magnus was everything Alec could never imagine. Beautiful and kind. Funny and so, so smart. A heartbreaking contradiction.
Alec didn’t just fall in love, he thinks, that somewhere in those three years they spent together, they defined and changed the meaning of love. He assumes that most people in love feel that at some point.
Alec spent three years of his life in the city of Paris, city of love, of dreams and he fell and fell and fell.
But the thing about falling in love with Magnus Bane that no one warned him about was that, you can neve r stop.
Twenty-one years later, Alec still believes in it.
“You’re really here?” Magnus swallows, his voice heavy and laced with a disbelief so profound, that Alec feels it in his bones.
He is too filled with emotions to come up with a funny reply, or anything for that matter.
How do you convey two decades of unspent love?
How do you let the grief go?
“Magnus,” he says, tasting the word on his lips again. A name he hasn't spoken in years not because he didn't want to, but because he could not.
On that balcony, in a random restaurant in Manhattan, Alec finds a reason to breathe again as the distance between the two of them finally closes and Magnus stands barely a few inches apart from him.
Magnus shudders as he raises a hand upwards, then lets it down again, before he finds the courage to raise it again and gently places it on Alec’s right cheek.
Alec wonders if this is how Eve felt when she took the first bite of that apple.
A tear slips out of his eyes at the touch and Alec leans into it like someone who gets the first sip of water in a desert.
“Oh, darling,” Magnus breathes, “How I’ve missed you.”
Then like a switch turns on, Alec’s body turns into action and he grabs onto the back of Magnus’s waistcoat and pulls him against his chest, not caring about anyone or anything, even Max, who Alec knows is still staring at them.
Magnus’s arms come up, pressing on his back—as if the man is trying to merge them into one as he puts his face in the crook of Alec’s neck.
As if Magnus would break Alec’s body to enter his—and as if Alec would let him.
There’s no space between them, the two of them clutching to each other so tightly, not believing this is real, as if Alec is going to wake up, alone in his bed again not knowing where he lost the best thing in his life.
They stay like that for a long time, Alec doesn’t know how long–does not care, until they finally pull back, a little reluctantly on both sides but as much as Alec needs to hold and touch Magnus, there’s a profound need inside of him to see Magnus.
It's raw and agonising and desperate but Alec needs to see him.
He creates a little space, just a little, enough to get a close-up of Magnus’s face and raises both his hands to cradle Magnus’s face.
“Hi, baby,” he says, so close yet so far from his mouth.
Magnus’s lips curl upwards, lightening up his entire face.
“Oh. That's something I never thought I would ever hear again.”
Alec smiles.
He is glad. Ecstatic really, that no one but him ever called Magnus ‘baby’.
He wants to lean closer and bring their mouths together but he doesn't.
There are twenty years between them and Alec’s not sure if Magnus is with someone, or if he’s married. He has a kid, so there’s a possibility of a partner as well.
“Cough. Cough,” A voice, undoubtedly Max’s speaks from behind them but the two of them pointedly ignore it.
“Coughs. Coughs,” Max repeats.
Magnus looks over his shoulder and grins, “You know, you can't say ‘coughs coughs’ literally. You gotta cough even if it's fake.”
There’s a short silence before Max speaks. “I like him,” before he gasps suddenly. “Oh fuck. You’re the guy from the picture.”
Alec thinks for a second if he should disown Max for letting it out that he still has pictures of Magnus and looks at them dreamily from time to time.
But then he realises, it's Magnus and Alec’s never been afraid of admitting his love for the other man.
Then or now.
Lack of love isn't what tore them apart two decades back.
Life did.
“My, my, dear Alexander,” playfulness floors through his face as he adds, “Have you been keeping pictures of mine to stare at like a 40’s maiden waiting on her husband from war.”
“As if you don’t literally keep a picture of him in your wallet,” the other boy, Rafael, says.
“Rafael!!,” Magnus narrows his eyes at his son, who sticks out his tongue in response.
“It's always your own blood that outs you,” Max says sagely before turning to Magnus. “Hi, I’m Max. I forgot to teach this one some manners or he would've introduced us,” he says, repeating Alec’s words from earlier.
What a dick.
“He’s your–?” Magnus asks.
“My son.”
There’s something on Magnus’s face at the words that Alec can't quite point out. He guesses that twenty years might really have passed because Alec remembers being able to trace every single expression, every frown line, every smile or hurt on his face.
Magnus hums before he tilts his head towards Rafael.
“This is Rafael. My son.”
Figures. Only Magnus Bane can have the most fashionable kid in the world.
“So,” Alec swallows, not knowing what comes now. What now? What next?
The four of them stand in a circle, awkwardly, no one knowing what to say. Alec can't blame any one of them.
Then, Alec’s phone rings. And like always, it is Ari that saves the day.
“Max,” Alec hands the phone over to him. “Go talk to Ari.”
Max narrows his eyes at him and Alec thinks for a second if he needs to explain it to him but he doesn't. Max gets him. Max sees Alec like no one else does. He just likes being an asshole about everything.
“Why?”
But Alec is Alec and he knows how to shut Max up.
“Maybe, she and Rafael can convince you to wear some better clothes.”
Rafael smirks. “Oh wow. It really is your own blood.”
It takes the two boys another two minutes before they get the hint and leave.
Alec sighs as he finally turns towards Magnus, tilting his head up to meet his eyes again.
“Hi.”
Magnus steps closer, his heartbeat speeding up at the movement. “Hi.”
“Can we go somewhere quiet?”
“This place is plenty quiet,” Magnus grins and Alec rolls his eyes.
“I see time has not made you any less insufferable,” he teases.
“Never,” Magnus replies. “I like to believe that I transcend the concept of time.”
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