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I turned the ignition back over, hoping desperately to get the pickup truck started. It must have been dark for at least three hours, and we were far from anywhere or anything that resembled help. Spence, whose knowledge of an engine surprised me, shut the hood and got back into the cabin.
“We’re going to be stuck here tonight. I’m so sorry, y/n, I should have checked the engine when we picked it up.” He said remorsefully.
“It’s okay, Spence, we’ll survive. I should have checked too, I know engines well but I think our cover story is starting to take over my brain.” I consoled him, referring to our undercover mission in which he and I were posing as a married couple, myself playing the part of the perfect homemaker. Playing a couple was stressful for a number of reasons, including the little fact I was actually in love with him. Pretending I was in love with Spencer while hiding my genuine feelings for him was getting difficult. I shivered, feeling the cold winter run straight through my bones. I stuck my hands under my large thighs.
“Getting cold, wifey?” Spencer teased.
“Not as cold as you’re going to be when I make you sleep outside,” I quipped.
“That’s no way to talk to your loving husband!” He bantered, enjoying making light of our fake marriage.
“Okay my darling husband, can we please stop wasting our hot air talking and get in the back of the truck so we can save our body heat?” I asked, but then explained with slight hesitation, “So that we might actually survive this night?”
His face flushed, from embarrassment or the cold I wasn’t sure.
“Oh um, alright. Are you comfortable with that?”
“Yes,” I replied. “Are you?”
“Yup.” He squeaked.
“I’ll climb over first and check the camper shell is properly attached, can you bring the blankets please?”
“Okay.”
“We’re all set,” I said, checking the last attachment.
“If we use this insulated blanket underneath us we’ll lose less body heat,” Spence said, laying it down.
“I knew you were so intelligent for a reason, you’re going to keep us alive,” I gently joked.
“I hope so,” he softly smiled as he lay down under the rest of the blankets.
“Well.” I said and looked at him.
“Well.” He copied.
“I guess we’re doing this.”
“I guess so.”
“You’re not getting cold feet, are you?” He whispered with a little laugh.
I rolled my eyes.
“For your information, my feet are freezing. But no, never.”
“Come to bed, beautiful,” he said with a smile, but it didn’t feel like a joke.
I slowly lowered myself down and Spencer pulled the blankets up over me. He put his arm around my waist and got so close I felt his hot breath on my frozen nose.
“Is this okay?” He whispered, eyes wide.
I nodded, looking away from his piercing brown eyes, and hesitantly put my own arm over his slender body.
It must have been hours later, and neither one of us were anywhere close to falling asleep.
“Are you feeling any warmer?” Spencer asked.
“I think I’m actually colder,” I confessed.
“I’m fairly sure the temperature has dropped below 20 degrees if my internal thermometer is working accurately.”
“Of course you have an internal thermometer,” I smiled at my favourite nerd.
“It’s accurate 96.8% of the time.”
“I believe you.” I said while looking at him fondly.
“So, smarty, how are you going to stop us from becoming human icicles?”
“Well, I do have one idea.”
“Yes?”
“I don’t know if it’s proper.” He avoided my eyes.
“Spencer, we’re potentially going to die tonight, I am past caring about proper.” I said firmly.
“Alright then.”
“Well. What is it?”
“I know stripping off clothes is one of the last stages of hypothermia but if we lock ourselves in, we shouldn’t have a problem if we do get to that point. We’d be delirious by then anyway,” he rambled nervously.
I cocked an eyebrow, not sure where this was headed.
“Skin to skin contact transfers human warmth quicker.”
“Oh.”
“We don’t have to,” he backtracked.
“But we’d have a better chance of survival, wouldn’t we?”
He nodded.
“Okay, seeing as you’re the warmer one in this marriage, you go first hubby,” I said, trying to keep things light.
“Alright.” He said and began taking his outer layers off.
Once he got to his shirt I turned over to give him some privacy, even though it felt ridiculous in the circumstances.
“Done.” He said, and I looked over to see him tucked underneath the blankets with only his head showing. I smiled at how adorable he looked and start taking off my own clothes. He stared at me unconsciously, so I said,
“I turned around for you.”
“Oh I’m sorry y/n,” he apologised and turned away.
When I got down to just my bra and panties I slid back under the blankets.
“You ready?” I asked.
He flipped over, looking at me.
“I think so.”
We carefully reached out for each other, Spence shuddering when my hand found his shoulder.
“Sorry, my hands are cold,” I said.
“It’s okay. Get a little closer,” he whispered.
I did so and he slipped his large hand around my waist and up my back, holding me flush to him. I felt his fingers skimming my fat rolls, and I winced in shame.
“What’s wrong?” Are you still too cold?” He asked.
“No, I think this is helping actually, thank you. It’s my body. I’m just.., I have a lot of fat, and I’m sorry you have to touch it.”
“Why?” He whispered curiously in that way of his.
“Because I’m not thin and petite like beautiful women are supposed to be,” I choked out. I looked up at him, scared of his reaction.
“How could you… you don’t.., you’re so!” He cried out.
He pulled me even tighter against him, to the point where it felt like I might be absorbed by his body. His other hand came up to wipe away my tears and hold my cheek, and he took a breath and tried again,
“I don’t even think bodies matter that much because there’s so many more interesting things about you, but your body is so, so beautiful. I have trouble concentrating on cases because of it. Pretending to be your husband has been torturous. You’re so attractive.
“Do you mean that?” I asked insecurely and blushed hard.
“I absolutely do, and I don’t just love your body, but I love you y/n. I love all of you, and I know I shouldn’t say it, especially at a time like this when we’re just trying to survive, but I love and adore you.”
Overwhelmed with emotion, I started sobbing into his warm bare chest.
“I’m so sorry Spencer, I shouldn’t have burdened you with my insecurities about my body. I don’t normally feel that way about myself, but being… exposed to you has exposed my feelings about my body and… about you too. I don’t think I can live up to your love confession Spence, because you’ve always had a way with words. But I do. I love everything about you. You’re the best human I know, and I’m so deeply in love with who you are.” I confessed.
His beautiful brown eyes were big and wet with tears, framed by long watery eyelashes. He processed everything, and said,
“We might never have a relationship like the one we’ve been playing undercover, but I’d love to be yours, y/n. I’d love to have a relationship with you, something that is uniquely ours, and maybe one day call you my wife.”
“That’s everything I want sweetheart. It’s all I’ll ever need,” I lovingly smiled, before sliding my free hand up past his neck and into the back of his hair. I leaned in, and whispered,
“Can I kiss you baby boy?”
When I saw a slight nod and his open mouth, I went for it. I started slowly, pressing my lips straight to his. His breath was so warm, and I nipped on his lip slightly. A throaty little noise escaped him, so I continued. After a while I pulled his head back gently, and kissed his inviting neck. His strong hands ran all over me, but when a hand came to my stomach I froze. He noticed, and lifted my chin up to look at him with his other hand.
“You’re so soft and hot,” he whispered, with an intense look in his eyes.
I smiled into the kiss I gave him, and held him as close as I could to my body. Just as I was about to nibble on his ear I stopped, not sure if either of us really wanted to go the whole way in these circumstances. I pulled away from the side of his neck to look into his eyes.
“What’s wrong?” He whispered, looking lovesick.
“Spencer, you’re really special to me, you know that right?” I said.
“You’re special to me too.”
“I know, which is why I don’t think we should go any further right now. I want a real relationship with you, and I want our first time together to be special, when we’re not in the back of a truck. Would that be okay?”
“Of course, my love. I want it to be special too, and if it’s anything like those kisses you just gave me I think it will be,” he smiled gently.
“I’m going to kiss you so many times in our lives even you’ll lose count,” I grinned.
“I’ll remember each and every one, and I’ll give them all back to you.”
I laughed. “Who knew Spencer Reid could be such a smooth talker!”
I kissed him again, but more softly and slowly this time.
“Thank you for loving me y/n,” he said sincerely. I got choked up at that, and instead of pouring out my deepest feelings to the man I loved again, I said,
“Thank you for saving my life so I get to love you.”
“We really should try to get some sleep now that we’re warmer,” he said practically.
“You’re right, but we should stay as close as possible. For warmth of course,” I said and winked.
“Of course. Goodnight, my beautiful wifey,” he smiled and kissed my forehead.
“Goodnight my darling hubby.”