Work Text:
A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS
Like the sun slipping from the window to his cot, it hitted Steve the fact that Bucky was going to be gone in a couple of minutes. It hasn’t cost him that much to get dressed and to take something from breakfast, then look at his reflection in the bathroom’s mirror, styling his hair perfect, cleaning his teeth and then nodding at himself after putting the hat on place. Steve was looking at him from the bed, actually just watching Bucky’s face in the mirror and not knowing what he was feeling, how much he was feeling. He stood then, walking behind Bucky to the living room and making his hands white fist when he saw Barnes taking his little bag, a lump in his throat growing on him more and more.
“See you later, Steve” the soldier murmured, not looking at him at any moment. And before he could move, Steve reached him, hugging him from behing and hiding his face on his back. “Steve?”
“Don’t go…”
A moment of weakness.
Bucky knew this was going to happen, he knew one of them would do it and after a night without sleep, trying to take everything from Steve and to feel him under his skin, he was there. Standing with a pray he couldn’t repit, looking at the ceiling and trying hard not to cry and get down on his kneels, staying, staying, staying where he belonged. But he stood there, hands over Steve’s, voice trembeling when he finally spoke.
“I want to.”, he admited because that’s what a brave man does. “But I can’t.”, he admited too. “This is the right thing to do.”
“I know and I should go with you then, I don’t…” and his voice broke, Bucky turned to see him, both hands on Steve’s shoulder and the blond man not looking at him at all. “You have to come back.”
“I will, you don’t have to worry. Now look at me, baby.”
Steve clenched his jaw, he looked up to Bucky with a firm glare and Bucky kissed him, kissed his worry out and reminded him to be calm, to be on his side, he remind him to have hope and to pray for the day he come back and they could be together again. And he was leaving, yes, but this wasn’t a sad goodbye, it was just a ‘see you later’ because there was no way on hell or heaven Bucky was leaving Steve behind. So when he looked at his big blue eyes again, he smiled and Steve kissed that smile to stole it, to smile at him with it and finally say bye. Bucky kissed then his forehead, feeling Steve’s arms around him and recording this moment in his mind, knowing this memory will save him out there and would bring him hope.
“I love you.”
Steve nodded in front of him, one hand over Bucky’s chest. “I love you too, jerk.”
Bucky smiled one last time, then grabbed his bag again and walked through the door without looking back. If he had looked back, he would have seen Steve squeezing his eyes shut, remembering what he was about to do too and that sooner or later, he would be with his friend there.