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“Currently, Andromeda and the Milky Way are about 2.5 million light-years apart. Fueled by gravity, the two galaxies are hurtling toward one another at 402,000 kilometers per hour.”
He is playing with the new baseball bat his uncle got him when his mother interrupts, stopping his swinging with careful hands. Although she wears a sweet smile, her eyes are small and pitch dark. It’s an odd expression that makes her look weird and, he has learnt by now, it means he has done something wrong. He changes his position into a defensive one, protecting the bat from her.
“Hajime, I know you love this thing but you should give it a try at the other toys you got.” She says as she kneels and takes it away from him. He doesn’t get to do much as a complaint but stomp his foot and cross his arms before she keeps talking. “Look, you didn’t even open all of them.”
Taking a break from glaring at her, he looks at the floor where a multicolored bed of ripped wrapping paper lays. It takes him some time to find the perfectly wrapped present hiding under all of the colors; it is quite small so it went unnoticed to him earlier. Still, he’s likely to find some socks knitted from his grandmother inside from the looks of it.
Or the Pokémon’s cards he begged his father to buy him a few weeks ago.
With recovered excitement, he starts tearing apart the paper of the small bag and no longer after, plastic stars appear in front of him. He tries his best to not show the disappointment on his face because his mom will get mad and never give his bat back. However, she must know him more than he thought seeing that her face changes into the same she had when his cousin broke his favorite red car and they couldn’t buy him another.
“Hey, Hajime.” Her voice is softer than normal when she points at the packet, at the bright yellow words he doesn’t understand. “It says they glow in the dark.”
He doesn’t like her tone of voice or the way she is looking at him. Staring at the stars, he wonders whether they would light up his mother eyes and get rid of that expression of her; but he gives up after seconds.
“Can I blow my candles now?”
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.
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He catches sight of the bag again while he is putting away his presents. Looking around, just a few persons are there; none of them the one he is looking for. So he runs as fast as he can to the door, stopping Oikawa there to give it to him.
His smile is similar to his mother’s when he accepts them and Iwaizumi feels he has done something wrong.
He never wants to see Oikawa wearing that expression again.
“But even at that speed, they won’t meet for another four billion years.”
Iwaizumi doesn’t remember much of that moment but he pinpoints it as the start of Oikawa’s weird stars collection. His entire ceiling is covered with those tiny little pieces of plastic: some are bigger, some are smaller, some bright different, yet together they make the most beautiful and terrifying thing Iwaizumi has ever seen.
If you pay more attention, you can discover the ones hiding on the walls that didn’t quite fit up on the ceiling.
“How many will I need to have a galaxy?” They’re trying to fight the low temperature under the heavy sheets of Oikawa’s bed but it proves to not be working when his friend’s stutters those words. It’s getting hard to breathe with their heads hidden under the fabric and the tip of Oikawa’s nose it’s freezing when it touches his neck as he leans to whisper. Iwaizumi just wants to play outside but he knows it’s impossible and that he needs to stay inside their little cage, even if he is feeling uncomfortable.
“I don’t know.” He doesn’t know what a galaxy is if he is honest but he doesn’t like to look dumb. He shoves Oikawa’s face away as a distraction and pinches his nose until it’s warmer. Oikawa, irritated, does the same to him but with much force, so he bites his hand. This only leads to a quick fight, involving hair pulling and a kick to his knee, which ends with Oikawa declaring surrender after he loses one of his socks.
They lay side by side trying to slow down their erratic beating hearts. The sheets cover their red noses, the material scratching his skin and coming dangerously close every time he takes a breath. A sudden loss of heat makes him realizes he is alone in the bed.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
He watches as his friend walks around the room, wearing just a red sock on one foot – the other one probably lost in the maze of sheets with Iwaizumi - pointing to each plastic star and muttering something after.
“Counting them so I know how many I need to buy. I want a galaxy.”
Looking up, he feels really tiny. There are so many and he knows they’ll be more. He knows it’s dumb to be intimidated by stars and if he were to put his thoughts into words, Oikawa would only laugh at him. Yet, he can’t get rid of the feeling of not belonging there.
He won’t admit it but he is terrified of being left out. He wants to be next to Oikawa every step he takes, like he has done until now.
So Iwaizumi deals with it because he is not a coward. Getting up, he ignores the shivers going through his body as he lands a foot on the freezing floor and joins Oikawa. He helps him throughout the afternoon reaching ninety nine and stopping there, trying to decipher what number is next.
And when for a terrifying second Oikawa looks at him for too long, he tears his gaze away; feeling once again suffocated by sheets and pitied by stars.
.
.
.
“If you don’t put your sock on, your foot will freeze and the doctor will cut it off. My mom told me that.”
Oikawa cries.
“When two spirals collide, they lose their familiar shape, morphing into the less-structured elliptical galaxies.”
“You look like a couple.”
It’s just one comment. A combination of words made in their friend’s head, who thought it was a good idea to spit them out. Hidden under an apparently innocence, but containing enough power to change their way of thinking.
It is all it took, a couple of words, to make Iwaizumi change.
Every centimeter of distance between Oikawa and him, every second of a lingering touch, every heartbeat echoing against his chest, every shiver visiting his skin, is calculated by his mind. Like a mathematic, he tries to balance it subtracting himself of the equation.
He lets go of his hand, he tears his gaze away, and he separates himself, when he feels too much.
He starts to make a mental list:
How much distance to keep between bodies? The size of one hand.
How long you should look at someone’s eyes? Depends on the situation and its context. Average: 5-6 seconds. Super passing the average is highly likely to produce blushing.
How many heartbeats per minute are normal for a kid? 50-100. It may vary with physical exercise and being with Oikawa. Take deep breaths and close eyes when it happens. Do the same when Oikawa gets irritating, if necessary use of violence is justified.
How to prevent shivers? Shivers are reflexes which are things your body does automatically to keep you safe. Take more distance off the object than the normal if the occurrences of these are frequent.
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His head is full of numbers and feelings and those two never match, yet Iwaizumi tries.
.
Until the numbers don’t match anymore;
Until Oikawa puts his hand above his, making it seem like one;
Until he forgets how to count when Oikawa looks directly into his eyes;
Until he finds that Oikawa and Iwaizumi heartbeats knock on their chest at the same time;
Until he realizes distance doesn’t work because the danger it’s inside him, the threat is these feelings.
.
.
.
How long it takes to fall in love? It takes exactly 0, 5 seconds. In that time the brain releases the chemicals, producing said effect.
For Iwaizumi, it took even less.
“A supermassive black hole is thought to lie at the center of these ancient galaxies. These gluttonous giants consume gas and dust, and may play a role in the slower growth of elliptical galaxies.”
Another tiny star falls on his face as he lays on Oikawa’s bed. It’s been a couple of months ago since the first one had fallen. The plastic sticking them to the ceiling started to fail in his purpose, creating blank spaces that slowly became bigger and bigger.
Iwaizumi keeps every single one he can find.
He stares above, at the galaxy starting to break apart. Most of the stars don’t shine anymore, yet hope floods his chest as he watches a few of them glowing softly. They are almost unnoticed, but they are there. And for Iwaizumi, that matter more than he is willing to accept.
He remembers being afraid of Oikawa’s weird obsession product, yet he can now admit his fear didn’t start due to its size. Rather, Iwaizumi was afraid of what they meant.
And right now, as star after star falls in front of him he knows he has to do something about it.
Oikawa is too focused on his computer to notice Iwaizumi coming closer. His baggy-eyed gaze is frantic analyzing every movement in the video, lips bitten raw; he covers the scratches of his knees wrapping his arms around it, leaving at sight hands full of calluses. Iwaizumi takes notice of every scratch and callus that wasn’t there before.
He can’t help but always take notice of Oikawa.
“You need to buy new ones.”
Oikawa barely glances as Iwaizumi puts the star in front of him. He takes a deep breath and repeats once again.
“New ones.”
“I heard the first time.” The tone is cold, monotone. Losing the fake cheeriness he uses to color it with other people. He doesn’t do that with Iwaizumi, yet he doesn’t know if he would prefer it instead of this robotic and emotionless voice.
“So answer me.”
He watches Oikawa move enough to let a sigh leave his lips, demolishing the rigid position he was in. He pauses the video and looks at Iwaizumi with clearly exasperation.
“They are useless. And I will be as useless in the next match if you don’t let me watch this.”
As soon as he finishes the phrase, he reproduces it and takes the headphones sitting on the table to completely ignore the other person in the room.
“Fuck you, Oikawa.” Iwaizumi returns as an answer with vague hope of waking up something inside Oikawa, of being the one to help him get over this situation.
When nothing happens, he leaves the room; fear accompanying his heavy heart.
He won’t give up.
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.
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“Invensible.” Oikawa says later.
They are.
“ This isn’t a chapter ripped from science fiction – it’s a real, scientific prediction. We can’t stop it.”
“Why did you let me put so many, Iwa-chan?”
“Shut up. Don’t try to blame this on me. This is all on you and your shitty kid obsession.”
They are on the floor, plastic stars filling the rest of what they don’t occupy of it. Oikawa is playing with one, sticking it to his nose and ignoring the whole amount of others that are left to take off.
Iwaizumi is starting to get up when a hand comes too closer to his face. Expecting a slap he closes his eyes on instinct, only to feel a soft touch on his cheek. When he open his eyes, he sees Oikawa’s face clear of any star and knows what is the strange object glued to his skin.
“Cute.” Oikawa whispers, gentle. Iwaizumi was about to glare but when he takes notice of how delicate the situation is he just stares at him. Oikawa’s eyes are on his lips, cheeks painted peach. He acts on impulse when he licks his lips expectant of something; of something to change. Nervous feelings in the pit of his stomach, slowly extending to the rest of his body.
He stars to follow Oikawa’s eyes once again, as if they were the path built decades ago for him to walk on. There’s something bigger than him pushing at his shoulders forward. The moment happens, when he can’t really focus on anything but the bright light standing in the black of Oikawa’s eyes. A lonely star devoured by the universe.
His nose is touching the tip of Oikawa’s one, cold as always. He takes a deep breath and his whole body moves with it. Expectant and ready for what it is due to come. The air leaves from his open lips and hot cloud invades the space separating him from the other’s mouth.
None of them makes a movement, even though cars are still been driven and birds sing to the sun. But that it’s outside. This room is another universe right now.
If Iwaizumi has learnt something from school, is that when stars explode they turn into black holes and he doesn’t want it.
As if he were reading his mind, Oikawa smiles that pitiful smile his mother used to wore so well.
Time stops.
.
.
.
Lips meet lips, as Iwaizumi forgets he is not the one to decide a future of two.
Time continues.
He waits for the black to consume them, yet when he opens his eyes he is met with two new stars in front of him. The old and tiny ones are in the floor, a reminder that Oikawa and Iwaizumi are much bigger than what they thought.
“But don’t worry. The distances between the stars are so great compared to their sizes, few if any stars in either galaxy will actually collide.”
Oikawa needs to leave.
A man in uniform says so for at least the third time. It’s been about two minutes since he was supposed to go into the train. He has already hugged all of his family but his hands tighten around Iwaizumi shoulders every time he tries to separate them.
“Oikawa.” He warns, his voice coloured with embarrassment even if he tries not to show it. They are still making a scene in front of pretty much Oikawa’s whole family, Iwaizumi’s parents and the poor persons who happen to be unlucky enough to walk on their way.
He is about to repeat himself when he feels something wet on the material of his t-shirt, right in his shoulder where Oikawa’s head is resting. He ignores the preoccupations of been seen like this in public in favour of paying his whole attention to the soft and erratic breathing meeting his neck.
He leans closer to whisper, his nose buried in Oikawa’s hair; the smell of his shampoo adding more effect to the feeling of nostalgia that has already settled in his heart. He digs his fingers in Oikawa’s waist, looking for something to ground himself.
“Don’t cry. We are okay. We will be okay. You know that, right?” The classic sound of a runny nose fills his ear when Oikawa takes a breath. ”You are such an ugly crier.” He says, pressing his smile into Oikawa’s cheek and leaving a single kiss there. Oikawa separates himself enough to look at him, and Iwaizumi fights the urge to lock him and take him with him. His eyes are watery, brown shining in a painful way to Iwaizumi to watch but beautiful nonetheless.
“I love you.” Fragile words blurt out of a more fragile heart.
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.
.
Oikawa screams his name from the window when the train stars to leave, in a dramatic way typical of him. A single packet is thrown at him as Oikawa’s smile disappears into the distance.
“So you can remember me.” A note stuck to it says. Inside a familiar star is found, with the date of their first kiss and a doodled smiling face.
“Sap.”
"Any life on the worlds of that far-off future should be safe, but they will be treated to an amazing, billion-year long light show.”
A blackout.
It is only their first week in their new apartment when it happens.
Iwaizumi finds himself back from getting some groceries and trying to fit the key into the lock. Lucky for him, it doesn’t take him more than a few minutes and he is soon inside. He knows they don’t have all the furniture that is needed, so a lantern would be a miracle to be found; yet he is pleasantly surprised to see that Oikawa had saved the day with some candles. He puts the bags in the kitchen and goes to their bedroom, expecting to meet Oikawa there.
He is right. The man in question is on the bed doing pretty much nothing and wearing only his boxers.
“Where did you get the candles?”
Oikawa smiles and combs his hair back with his fingers. Drops of sweat are falling down the back of his neck and Iwaizumi stars to be conscious of the high temperature of the room, now lacking a functional AC. The candles not being useful to cool the room, but freeing a citric smell that invades Iwaizumi’s lungs.
“I bought them a few days ago, for a special occasion.”
Iwaizumi looks at the candles around the room, little of them are left. There are three on a pizza box, the wax creating a mountain under them; others are on cardboard plates and the rest is in plastic cups.
“Wow, I’m so turned on.” He says staring deadly at Oikawa.
“Well, fuck you very much; it is not my fault that we don’t have anything to put them on.” Oikawa is quick to defend himself, wearing on his face a pout that Iwaizumi recognizes like the back of his hand. “Hey, what’s that?” He wonders pointing at his the object on Iwaizumi hands.
Iwaizumi throws the item to the bed before he lays on it. Oikawa is at the instant reaching out for it.
“If you say anything, I swear to god…” He mutters, despite watching with anticipation his reaction.
“Glowing stars?” Oikawa smile is taking almost half of his face and Iwaizumi expects the lousy laugh to come out of his mouth, yet Oikawa changes his expression into a clearly frown.
“I don’t want them.” His voice resembles a petulant child of five years old. Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything, but he can’t deny the words crack a bit of his bravado. He thinks and thinks, yet he doesn’t find any reason justifying this type of reaction.
Oikawa takes pity on him and lets the disguise fall, giving away a sneaky smile.
“This is only fair, considering you rejected that first pack of these things I gave you when we were little. You broke my poor tiny heart when you give me back my gift – and then you made it pass as a gift from you. Monster.”
He turns to insist that he didn’t know any of it and that he can’t quite believe Oikawa is still holding a grudge against him for some plastic stars but he gets caged in brown eyes and a playful smile.
Yellow degrades into orange and climbs the walls to become red and purple, thanks to the candles around the room. Some of these colorful twigs round Oikawa’s naked torso and illuminate his face in a breathtaking way. The brown of his eyes looks divine with hints of gold and fire inside them and Iwaizumi is only left to pray.
All the words are forgotten, and he doesn’t know why “I’m sorry” escapes from his lips. He fits his hands and his skin in the shadows that form in Oikawa’s body and he feels complete.
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“You could have bought some lantern instead of this. But you can’t fight with your romantic heart, huh Iwa-chan?”
“Shut up.”