Chapter Text
Monika : Natsuki you like your best frienddd
Natsuki : No I dont like her !
Yuri : You are holding my hand..
Natsuki: Oh right
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Someone: That four people created a friend group
-Monika: The dead inside one
-Yuri: The hot depressed one
-Sayori:The stupid with a trauma
-Natsuki:The cute that everyone loves but has a trauma
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Natsuki: Hey whats does its feel to be tall?
Monika and Yuri : We'll show you
Natsuki :ITS BEAUTIFUL OMG
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Natsuki : *Sayori's depression* aa
Natsuki : *Sayori deleted* aaa
Natsuki: *Everyone is deleted* AAAAAAA
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Monika : WANNA BE DELETED ?
Natsuki : NO IM A CHILD U CANT HURT MEEE
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(On a weebsite)
Yuri : Its not correct because *insert a big long asf text*
Natsuki : STFU
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Natsuki in arc 2 : *run*
Monika with The "Delete" button : WHY ARE YOU RUNNING ? WHY ARE YOU RUNNING-
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MC : Oh hi thanks for checking in im STILL A PIECE OF GARBAGE
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Natsuki : THEYRE SO PRETTY ITS HURT
Yuri : IM NOT TALKING ABOUT BOYS IM TALKING ABOUT GIRLS-
MC : What-
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Natsuki ,talking to their child : When I was your age..
Yuri : When I was your height..
Natsuki :
Natsuki : Listen here you little shit-
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Natsuki: Dont correct me!
Yuri: Then dont get wrong.
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Natsuki : Im lesbian
Sayori: I though you were japanese?
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Natsuki: You're ugly
A kid: Im not a mirror
Natsuki :yes,Thats why you are ugly
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(While Making PASTA.)
Sayori : I burnt the water..
Natsuki : HOW CAN YOU BURN THE WATER?
Monika : Send Help.
Yuri: Send Help 2.0
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Natsuki :Give it back!
Yuri:Say my name
Natsuki:Alright Mommy give it back-
Yuri:...My name's Yuri-
Monika: omg wtf girls ?
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Yuri, at the phone: We would like 4 pizzas please.
Sayori: PIZZAS ??
Yuri:
Sayori:
Yuri: Actually, make that 8...
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Natsuki : I hate you.
Yuri: Thanks
Natsuki:
Yuri:
Natsuki: You wanna make ou-
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Monika: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.
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Yuri: Everyone has a toxic trait. Except Monika, they’re perfect.
Monika: Wrong! My toxic trait is how badly I want to domesticate a raccoon.
Yuri: Dont you call me a raccoon sometim-...
Monika:
Yuri: MONIKA-
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Sayori: Hey, you wanna know a secret?
Yuri: No.
Sayori: Okay.
Yuri:
Yuri: Do you smell smoke?
Sayori: The secret is that the house is on fire.
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Sayori: So jellyshish-
FeMC(Because MC sucks), laughing: JELLYSHISH!?
Sayori: You know what I meant!
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Monika: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules.
The girls: What?
Monika: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?
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Monika: Is this your plan B?
Natsuki: Technically, this is plan P.
Monika: Plan P? Is there a plan M?
Natsuki: Yes, but I marry Yuri in plan M.
Yuri: I like plan M.
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Sayori: Firstly, how dare you use mathematics to make me look stupid!
Sayori: I’m actually very good at mathematics.
Sayori: Thirdly, I think you might be right.
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Monika: Is something burning?
Sayori: My burning love for you of course!
Monika: …
Sayori: …
Sayori: And the kitchen is on fire…
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Yuri: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!
Natsuki: Please, just say fuck.
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Natsuki: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Sayori's birthday invitations.
Monika: Well, what are they supposed to say?
Natsuki: "Sayori's birthday".
Monika: So, what do they say instead?
Natsuki: "Sayori’s bi".
Monika:
Monika: Works out either way.
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Monika, with their hands cupped over each other: I found a cool spider!
Yuri: Oh? Lemme see!
Monika, opening their hands to see nothing there: …hm.
Sayori: …where’s the spider.
Monika: *looks troubled and stares at their hands*
Yuri: Oh no.
Sayori: MONIKA, WHERE’S THE SPIDER?!
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Sayori: What if mayonnaise came in cans?
Natsuki: Well, that would suck because you can't microwave metal.
Monika: Good morning to everyone except these two people.
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Yuri: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.
Monika: All I drank was Redbull!
Yuri: How many?
Monika: Eighteen.
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Yuri: Come on, Sayori. Nobody actually believes that Natsuki is in love with me.
Sayori, to The Squad: Raise your hand if you think that Natsuki is helplessly in love with Yuri.
*Everyone raises their hand*
Yuri: Natsuki, put your hand down.
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Monika: Bonjour, Yuri. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi?
Yuri: No, I don't want to sleep with you.
Monika: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.
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Natsuki, running: Slow down, Monika, I can’t ketchup!
Monika, not slowing down: You’ll just have to use all the strength you can mustard.
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Sayori: *walks to cabinet, removes oreo box, takes half a sleeve, throws empty box out* Hi!
Yuri: Hey- what are you doing-?
Sayori, shoving an oreo into their mouth: I am saving space :D
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*Thump noise*
Natsuki, from the other room: What happened?!
Monika: Sayori’s shirt fell.
Natsuki: Why was it loud?
Monika: It had her inside.
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Yuri: I’ll be famous one day, but for now I’m stuck in this house with a bunch of morons.
Monika and Natsuki: *Flirting in the back*
Yuri : * loud sigh*
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Monika: So, what are we doing?
Sayori: Wasting our lives.
Monika: I meant for lunch...
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Sayori: I hate when people ask me, 'What did you do today?' Buddy listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don't KNOW!
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Monika: I don't want to tell you to clean your room again!
Sayori: ...but you will, right?
Monika: Oh, for sure.
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Natsuki: *on the phone with Sayori* I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl shit.
Sayori: You’re pulling Oreos apart and saving off the frosting to make a mega Oreo, aren’t you.
Natsuki: Maybe.
Sayori: Okay. I'll be there in 5 minutes
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Yuri, clearly drunk: Monika, hit me another drink… wooOO HOOoo…
Monika: I think you need a therapist and not a bottle.
Yuri: I think yooOOoou need to shuUT YOUR MOUTH!
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Monika, proudly: I slept.
Natsuki: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?
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Sayori: Do crabs think people walk sideways?
Natsuki: ...Sayori, what the hell.
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Natsuki: *sighs*
Yuri: You bored?
Natsuki: Yeah.
Yuri: Wanna start drama for no reason?
Natsuki: I thought you’d never ask.
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Sayori: "Go hang a salami" backwards is "I'm a lasagna hog".
Yuri: How did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to discover this?
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Monika: *trying to get five seconds of sleep*
Sayori, poking Monika’s arm: Monika Monika. Monika. Monika.
Monika: WHAT?
Sayori: …We’re out of Capri Suns—
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Sayori: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think.
Monika: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.
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Monika: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
Yuri: I wrote you a poem.
Monika, already crying: You did?
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*in a group chat*
Natsuki: First one to reply is gat.
Natsuki: *gay
Natsuki: Wait...
Monika: 👏
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Yuri: *is hugging Natsuki*
Monika: Hey! It's my turn to hug Natsuki!
Monika: *grabs Natsuki*
Sayori: *kicking down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot!
Yuri: No, It's still my turn!
Natsuki: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly!
Monika: But we need the moral support!
Yuri: And you're small! Which is cute!
Sayori: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning.
Natsuki: *close to tears* Well- I, I guess.
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Natsuki: Are you coming to bed?
Yuri: I can't. This is important.
Natsuki: What?
Yuri: Someone is wrong on the internet.
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Natsuki:I typed "bitch" into my GPS and guess what? I'm in your driveway.
Monika:
Natsuki:Vroom vroom, come out already.
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Monika: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!
Natsuki: ...
Monika: Oh, right. The lying.
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Yuri: Anything else?
Natsuki: Yeah. Stay away from me!
Yuri: Alright. See you in the room we share.
Natsuki: DAMNIT
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Sayori, texting Natsuki: *sends a voice message*
Natsuki, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?
Sayori: No, don’t worry, just listen later.
*later*
Natsuki: *presses play*
Sayori's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-
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Monika: *gets a text* Oh! It’s Yuri.
Sayori, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff?
Monika: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood.
Sayori: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood?
Monika: You wanted fake blood?
Sayori:
Monika: I’ll go call Yuri.
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Natsuki: You're ugly.
MC: Tone indicator?
Natsuki: Oh I'm sorry! You're ugly. /srs