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Annabeth watched happily as her boyfriend raved about the new sea creatures Triton had taught him now that his much older half-brother no longer resented him. In fact, he seemed to have taken him in under his wing (fins?) and was very protective of him; but also keen to teach him about all the creatures that lived under the sea, something Percy was very excited about.
He was currently telling her all about the Big Fin Squid, sitting next to her on his bed, practically giddy with all the new information he had.
“-So it's like a really long squid that tentacles can get up to and over nineteen feet long!- oh and it looks like it has elbows on its tentacles so it kinda looks like its T-posing which is a little weird not gonna lie- Kinda looks like an alien. And it drags its tentacles along the ocean floor to catch its prey! Oooh AND the only ones that mortal scientists have found have been juveniles so the mortals don’t know hardly anything about them! BUT- Triton took me to see an adult one and It was so much cooler than any of the pictures mortal scientists have gotten of it! Dang- I wish I could show you what it looked like! Like we also saw a blue whale and it was SO gorgeous up close! And actually really friendly but I don’t know if that was just because they are friendly or if it was because I am the son of Poseidon. You know it's probably just the whale being nice considering how dolphins treat me. They are tolerant of me but they are MEAN. They make fun of me, Annabeth! Dolphins are NOT the nicest sea creatures, they are actually kind of vicious to everyone; to humans, other dolphins, and ESPECIALLY other animals, they're actually worse than sharks in my opinion- I never actually understood why people are scared of sharks, they are like puppy dogs of the sea! But anyway- what I was saying earlier: I WISH I could show you what these creatures look like with how close I can get to them, and how deep I can go pressure-wise in the ocean considering regular people can’t handle the pressure of the ocean on top of them like I can.”
Percy paused to take a breath, having to take several due to not remembering to breathe during his excited rant of interesting things. Annabeth smiled fondly at him, admiring his very wide, very bright eyes, and the blush that decorated the top part of his cheek. He was by far the most beautiful person she knew, an almost divine look about him. And yet somehow he got even lovelier when he spoke about the things he loved; when he was so relaxed he could just animatedly express himself. This didn’t happen very often but she soaked it up every time it did.
“You know,” She said, taking this time to chime in, “Maybe you could ask Leo to make you some kind of underwater camera so you could take pictures of all your favorite creatures.”
His eyes somehow widened even more, “Do you think he’d be able to make one that could withstand the water pressure?”
She laughed a little, “If anyone could do it it would be him.”
Percy nodded roughly, his body practically buzzing with excitement. His hands started flapping rapidly, she fought the urge to swoon at her favorite picture: her boyfriend absolutely overjoyed. She wondered for a brief second if this was what she looked like to him when she ranted about her own special interest.
Then the mood changed so quickly it startled her. His eyes widened but this time with shame. He put his hands down as if he just realized what he was doing. Annabeth raised her eyebrows, she had seen her boyfriend's moods, as ever-changing as the sea, but this was different. He’d been so elated the moment before and suddenly looked as if he was a child who got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. Normally whenever his moods changed there was at least a catalyst, like how a change in the current could affect the waves. This time, however, she didn’t catch one.
“Hun,” She started softly, the pet name coming naturally, “What's wrong? What happened?”
“Sorry,” he muttered, putting his hands under his legs as if trying to keep them still. “I didn’t mean to go all over the top, sorry.”
“You didn’t, sweetheart.” Annabeth was fully confused now. “You were happy that's not a bad thing at all.”
He shook his head, looking down at the bed. She could see tears forming in his eyes and could see the sobs he was repressing. She didn’t have a clue as to what brought this on.
“Hey,” She said softly, reaching out to squeeze his arm when he flinched away from her, muttering what sounded like more apologies under his breath.
Her heart shattered at the realization of what- or who had caused this. She had gotten quite good at reading her partner's emotions and tells over the years. And with the way he flinched, she knew from many experiences that this was a result of his first stepfather. She did not know the full extent of what Gabe had put him and his mother through but she knew the abuse was emotional and more often than not, physical. And while it had been many years since Gabe was in their life, the mark he’d left on him was still very present.
She also knew that Percy had gone through most of his life being undiagnosed with autism, having just recently been diagnosed and learning that some things about him were not something wrong or broken with him but symptoms of a disability he had no idea he had. Of course, he had been diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia as an elementary schooler but the autism had gone unnoticed by his teachers (most likely because those symptoms didn’t affect them while trying to teach him and because uneducated minds could brush them off as ADHD). From what she’d heard about Gabe Ugliano, she didn’t think he would even tolerate Percy showing signs of his disabilities.
She knew a bit about what it was like living in a house with someone who did not understand neuro-divergencies. Her stepmother had no patience when it came to her “abnormalities”, causing Annabeth to have to learn how to mask her symptoms at a very young age. It wasn't until she had spent several months at camp that one of her older sisters recognized the- looking back on it now- obvious signs of autism that her father and stepmother didn’t see or, more likely, just didn’t bother to look into. (Luckily, when you lived at a camp where everyone had ADHD it was easier to spot the kids who had more than just that going on).
“Hun, you didn’t do anything wrong, can you try and breathe for me.” She resisted the urge to wrap her arms around him, knowing that he was not up to being touched at the moment. Instead, she took to taking deep breaths loud enough so that he could hear, giving him something to follow. It took a while, especially since he was trying not to stim, which is used mostly to regulate emotions. She somehow began to feel more protective, wanting to find every single person who had ever told her partner that the way he used to regulate himself was bad. Eventually, thankfully, his breathing began to match hers.
He looked up at her, tears on his face, not quite meeting his eyes. She wouldn’t force him to either, she knew he struggled more with eye contact than she did and while he sometimes could look her in the eye, now was not going to be one of those times.
“Sorry,” he choked out, looking ashamed.
“Perce, there was nothing wrong with what you were doing.” She said softly, trying to drive that point home. She had experiences herself where she would be yelled at for stimming, whether it was positive or negative, when her emotions would run too high. And with the way he shrunk in on himself like he was going to be punished after he noticed his own stimming, she figured he had gone through something similar (if not worse considering the stories she had heard about Gabe).
He nodded though he didn’t look like he fully believed what she was saying. She wished she could just make him believe it with a couple of words but she knew it would take time.
“He– Gabe, he didn’t like it when I did that,” Percy said, looking down, picking at the pilling on the blanket. “Said, It was childish and annoying.”
Annabeth scowled, there was nothing childish about stimming. But even besides that, Percy was only twelve when he no longer had to deal with Gabe. He was a child.
“Teachers in elementary and middle school said the same thing. They said that I had to “act my age” and they’d send me to the office if I kept being distracting.” He muttered bitterly. Annabeth fought the urge to scoff, teachers should help their students, not shame them because they regulated differently. She was suddenly very grateful to have lived most of her life in a camp meant for kids with neuro-divergencies. She watched for a moment before she responded as he started to look incredibly uncomfortable. He waved his hand slightly and magically dried all the tears on his face which seemed to make him feel better.
“Do you remember what Chiron said about emotional regulation after you were diagnosed?” She asked, keeping her voice purposely calm.
He shook his head, “There was a lot of information being thrown at me all at once, I didn’t catch it all.”
“That's alright, did you take the booklets they offered you?”
“Er,” He started. “I mean, I took them, I didn’t get around to reading them though.” He said sheepishly.
She let out a soft laugh through her nose. When she had been given the booklets after being diagnosed she tore into them, reading them over and over again, making sure she had all the information in them memorized. She knew Percy was different though and tended to get overwhelmed when he was given a bunch of information that didn’t particularly interest him or if he wasn’t in a headspace to receive it. Knowing him, he probably set them aside to read later, but when you have ADHD like he does, once you set something down like that it's rare that it will actually get read.
“I get that, there's a lot of information in those packets. Would you like me to explain to you what that was and why you did it?” She could go into very long rants about psychology (autism in particular), but she wanted to make sure he was up to hearing it.
He squished his eyebrows together, “The flappy thing?” He asked, “There's a reason for that?”
She smiled, “Yeah there is, it's one of the symptoms of Autism, I can explain it if you’d like.”
“I’d like that.” He said quietly, wrapping his arms around his torso.
“It's a form of stimming,” She started. His head cocked to the side, his chin-length curls bouncing. “Stimming is derived from stimulation, it is a way people with Autism regulate their emotions. And different people stim in a lot of different ways.”
“So… I did that because my emotions got too intense.”
“Essentially. Plus, stimming can be used for both good and bad emotions. Right then you did it because you were very happy and excited, but it’s also used when you are feeling a more “negative emotion.” The reason Autistic people stim when they feel an emotion is because a level one emotion for a neurotypical feels like a level one hundred for autistic people who have heightened emotions like you do.”
“So stimming is good.” He breathed, taking in what she said.
“Yes but there are bad ways to do it,” She said before correcting herself. “Well, there is so such thing as “good” or “bad” stimming. There is safe and harmful stimming.”
“Safe?”
“Yeah, like the “flappy hands.” those are a safe form of stimming.”
“What's a harmful way of stimming?”
She thought to herself for a second before responding, trying to think of one he’d relate to. “You know how you pick at your skin when you get bored or anxious? That's an example of harmful stimming.”
His eyes widened almost comically, “ That's a form of stimming?”
She laughed, “Yeah, it is.”
“Wow,” He muttered. “You know how many things, since I’ve been diagnosed, that I’ve discovered are being caused by autism? Like things I've done my whole life and just thought were weird, but no, it's just the autism.”
“From what I’ve heard, that happens to a lot of people who were late diagnosed.” She said with a chuckle.
He managed to give her a soft smile before wincing slightly, placing a hand on his head. She sighed and started to move the pillows on the bed so they were set up for them to lie down.
“C’mon, let's lay down,” she said, knowing that a breakdown/flashback like that would consume any energy he had left for the day. He needed to rest and recharge. Plus she was pretty tired herself.
He didn’t argue, removing his hoodie and his socks that he refused to sleep in, and practically collapsed against his pillow. She curled up next to him, allowing him to wrap his arms around her if he wanted to.
He did just that and muttered, “Thank you, love.”
She kissed his hand, “Anytime, darling.”
It wasn’t long before they were both snoring peacefully.