Work Text:
When the doors open, you’re not sure what you expect. You’d seen radiation pools and a room covered in meat and blood and even your childhood bedroom, so anything could be present. You’re certainly sure you aren’t expecting to see yourself, smiling with a slightly manic quality, and your coworker, looking haggard and as though he was going through a mid-life crisis in his late twenties somehow.
For a split second, you think you’re looking at some strange, twisted mirror. But then the other you stands up and you realize that you’re staring into the eyes of your doppelgänger. The both of them, you notice, don’t look very well-off. You feel like you should be more freaked out by there being another you, but at this point, you’re just taking everything in stride. Just another floor in the elevator, it is what it is.
“Who are you?” you ask, as though you are not looking at your own face. It’s unsettling, seeing yourself like this.
Your doppelgänger immediately drops into some enthusiastic speech, quickly introducing himself without even letting his version of your coworker get a word in edgewise. “This is my colleague, and I’m the newest employee here! It’s nice meeting some friendly faces.” There’s such an earnestness to him that feels unfamiliar, or maybe it was actually too familiar. It reminds you of how you used to be when you were younger and entering the workforce for the first time.
You don’t allow that to let you let your guard down. The friendliness in your doppelgänger’s expression doesn't match the look in his eyes. You would know—he’s you, after all.
“And who would you two be?” He continues, still smiling.
You choose not to match his extroversion simply out of caution. “Why do you want to know.” You know that the other you knows exactly who you are, just as you know who he is. But sometimes, it’s hard to trust yourself, though that statement usually isn’t applied to, uh, talking to your literal doppelgänger in an elevator.
There’s only a second’s pause as he registers the switch in energy and changes his tune. “Why wouldn’t I! It’s not every day you meet someone like you!”
It scares you a little bit, how if it weren’t for the fact that obviously this is going to end in some form of peril by virtue of the situation, you would probably believe him. You hope you never have to go through whatever this doppelgänger of yours did, because he’s much quicker with his words, and much more convincing, but in a way that makes him feel a little sick.
“What brings you two here, are you lost?”
…another thing that surprises you is how little the other coworker has spoken. In fact, he hasn’t spoken at all. Your gaze flickers to him—there’s something wrong with his eyes, ones that shift to the side as though frightened to make eye contact with anyone. And then your gaze shifts to your own coworker, who looks as confident and well put together as always. The one next to your doppelganger is not the coworker you know, and you wonder if you really want to know why that is.
“Yes,” you venture cautiously. You can’t lie your way out of some things.
There’s a flash of something in your doppelgänger’s eyes that you’re unable to read as he gives a sheepish laugh. “Well, that makes two of us, hah…”
Suddenly, he snaps his fingers like he’s just gotten a great idea. “Say, I just got an idea! Maybe we could stick with you guys and work together! Twice the eyes looking for outs—” Here, he leans forward almost conspiratorially towards you. “And let’s be real between the two of us, it’s not like these two morons are any help, right?”
Your coworker squawks indignantly. “Hey-!”
His coworker doesn’t say a word.
“So, what d’you say?” Your doppelgänger looks to you expectantly, empty smile and hollow eyes meeting your carefully-maintained neutrality.
“…no,” you say, shaking your head firmly. You don’t trust yourself—sorry, the other you—at all right now. Why would you?
His cheery disposition drops so suddenly that you can feel his sudden revealed coldness. But it’s only for a second before he brightens up once again. “Oh, are you sure? I’m sure we could work something out.” He takes a step closer to you, not boarding the elevator yet but close enough for him to exchange words to you that neither can hear.
“…listen, I have been stuck in here for a long time. His wristwatch’s batteries ran out what I’m sure is months ago, I could’ve been in there for years,” his voice is urgent and desperation leaks in. “He’s—I’m the same as you, I’ve been going through these floors, he’s suspicious, right? He always knows how to say the right things and…you don’t trust him, do you?”
“Yes.”
> “No.”
“He’s—he has to be a part of all of this somehow, I’m sure of it. And like I said, even if they aren’t, they’re…they’re completely useless, right? Your coworker probably hasn’t been offering to really help at all, just letting you die over and over again each time.”
You can’t say he’s wrong. Though you’re unsure if you like the direction this exchange is taking.
“So what I’m saying is…” He hesitates before apparently making up his mind about something. “…there’s a weight limit on this thing, okay? It can only hold two people. I was…I’m sorry, I was planning to take your place with my coworker. But you’re me, I can’t just—I can’t just do that to myself, you know? So I have a new offer. The both of us, we can get on this elevator and figure out the rest of the floors together, we can really help each other out, but if we stay with our own respective coworkers, we won’t get anywhere.”
You adjust your tie nervously. The hesitance on your face shows, apparently, because your doppelgänger puts his hand on your shoulder in what you think is meant to be a reassuring gesture, but his grip is just a little too strong. “Please, I can’t…I can’t stay here forever. It’s going to drive me insane, I can’t stay trapped inside that small little room with just him, and—and I found these scissors, too, we can use them on the seventh floor, right?”
…
You consider your options. You glance to your coworker, who’s boredly staring at the ceiling, waiting for the two of you to finish. Thinking back to all the previous floors you’d gone through together, he…he really didn’t do anything. He just stood around, keeping ‘guard’ while watching you die over and over again. He might not remember, or maybe he does, but there’s a brief and dark thought that crosses your mind. If you leave him behind, maybe he’ll finally understand what he’s put you through. Maybe he’ll finally get it.
But it’s not like right, is it? If he truly just doesn’t remember, then you’re just subjecting him to something he won’t be able to attach a reason to. “I don’t think…”
“Then don’t,” your doppelgänger whispers. “Don’t think about it, okay? Just—come on, please, what you you want? Not what you think you want, what is that—” he jabs at your heart—“telling you?”
…
You need this job. And your coworker clearly isn’t going to be the one to help you get there.
You try to ignore the chaos growing in the back of your mind at your decision as your doppelgänger smiles again, wider. “Okay! Okay, I don’t want to try to get on right now because violating the weight limit could probably lead to something preeetty messy, so you need to try to push him out. I’ll help, I can try and yank him forward and use the momentum to get on, and then you have to press the close button as quickly as you can, and then we’re on our way!”
He steps back and gestures at his coworker to back up. The man complies, and you find it strange how quickly he does it, like he’s afraid. But now, you think you might understand why.
You shift to walk around behind your coworker, like you’re going to go to press a button on the panel to close the doors. You realize you have a choice here—you can choose to either betray your coworker or you can betray your doppelgänger. It’s still a hard decision, despite the logical path you mapped out in your head while talking.
Just don’t think.
You ram your side into your coworker’s back, sending the man stumbling forward. Your doppelgänger quickly lunges into motion, yanking him forward by the tie and pulling him behind him before darting into the elevator next to you. You slam your hand onto the close button and watch as your coworker rubs his head and turns around just in time for you see the stunned, and maybe even hurt, look in his eyes before the doors close.
You sink to the floor once it’s done and over, exhaling shakily. You tug at the ends of your sleeves, needing something to do with your hands, as though you can wipe them clean of betrayal. Your doppelgänger kneels down besides you and places his hands on your shoulders again. “You…you actually did it.” Even he sounds surprised. “I thought—I don’t know, for a second there I thought you really were gonna leave me, but you didn’t! I’m so glad, I’m so glad, I’m so glad…”
You’re still breatheless, head spinning a little from the sudden brief physical altercation. Your side aches from where you had shoved your coworker, and there’s a slight tremoring in your hands. The other you in the elevator noticed and his eyes soften as he sits down next to you. It’s genuine this time, you think, none of that false, sickly sweet kindness from earlier.
“It’s okay to feel bad, I…I feel kind of bad too, but we’re here now, right? We did what we had to do in order to be free! And now we can work together and maybe pass that interview and we’ll finally be out of this hell, okay? We can…unpack all of this once we’re out of here.” He speaks, trying to comfort you, but you know you’ve never been good at emotions. It helps a little, but the guilt is starting to grow in your chest, spreading and becoming more overwhelming as the seconds pass.
It gets worse when you realize there’s silence on the other side of the doors. Neither of their coworkers were trying to open them, neither of them were saying anything, and you don’t know if youwould rather hear them be angry than this. Your doppelgänger steps back and presses the button labeled with a ‘7.’ The floor just below this one.
The time after goes in a bit of a blur. You remember sometning about screwdrivers and rats and holes, and then the interview in the sky where your doppelgänger had to save you from nearly falling off the edge, and feeling a key being pressed into your hand as the both of you are told you’re hired, and maybe the most odd detail of that moment is that the interviewer never asked why there were two of you, but all of it leaves your mind when you step out of the elevator.
You’ve never felt so relieved to see so many people in the lobby. You break out into what might be considered a run, your doppelgänger following after you, until you’re stopped just before you reach the exit. You look up shakily as your barely comprehend the words being said at you, ones filled with more than a little derision.
You need this job.
You both need this job.
Neither of you move for a while after that. The other you doesn’t know what to say. You don’t know what to say.
The lighter in your pocket has never felt heavier.