Chapter Text
The taste of blood erupted in Kai’s mouth, and his vision blurred. He took a few steps back, breathing heavily. Trying to regain his balance.
Hah. Balance was Cole’s job. Kai shook the thought out of his head as he lifted his arms to shield himself from another onslaught of blows. The lights around him made it hard to focus. He’d never get used to the cameras on his every move.
“Kai seems to be stumbling! Can The Enferno finally beat the Red Shogun and reclaim his championship?!”
Kai spat to the ground, rubbing his lip. The ring. The bouncing floors. The pure, unrestrained violence. It was the only way to keep his mind off of Zane. Zane… cool, calculated, never-too-emotional Zane. What would he think, seeing Kai like this, bruised and bloody as a means to block out rational thinking?
Anger had always been easy for Kai. Upset that the weapons wouldn’t claim him as the master of Green? Punt a few Serpentine. Annoyed that Jay was dating his sister? Let loose on the training course. Pissed that Garmadon was their bunking buddy? Although it wasn’t productive at the time, those few punches he threw with the Lord of Darkness were therapeutic at worst.
But this? This was more like a slow ache, eating him from his core. His already low ability to think rationally had pretty much vanished along with the nindroid. He had no way of getting the hurt off his chest. Every time he tried to think about that day, all Kai told himself was that he didn’t try hard enough. Maybe he should have been the one to make the sacrifice.
Sorrow was no good. All it did was slow Kai down. But if he masked it as anger, forcing himself to be angry at the unattainable, he could manage it. Even if it ran him to the ground.
It was easier to act than to think, after all.
Kai grunts as a stray punch brushes past his stomach. He quickly spins, leg in the air. He slams his heel on his opponent's back, kicking him to the ground. The man sputters and coughs before grabbing Kai’s foot to slam him down too.
Kai gasps for breath, feeling the air leave his lungs as his back hits the floor. Why did he come here in the first place? Ahh, right. A means to an end. An attempt to stop himself from thinking into a spiral. It should have been him… what if Zane… how could he…
Kai feels his palms crackle, his fingertips glowing that familiar red that he used to be so fond of, flickering like a flame. It wasn’t fair. He was out here abusing his powers given to him by the First while Zane couldn’t even…
Kai blinks, a light in the crowd of jeering spectators. A green amongst the gray. He shakes his head, feeling his palms go cold.
“ TIME! ” The umpire screeches, waving a red flag in the air. Kai tentatively stands up, brushing off his leotard. It was red, covered in three sparkly, orange flames. It matched his bright red mask, also glittering in the light. His hair was down, not in its usual goofy, spiky updo. instead, greasy and brushed his chin. Kai sighed, climbing out of the ring, making a beeline for the bathroom.
Kai slammed the door, locking it behind him. Bent over the sink, he looked himself in the mirror.
Look at what you’ve become , his reflection sneered at him. Zane certainly didn’t die for this .
“Shut it,” Kai mumbled, glaring at himself. His reflection only shrugged, looking back at him with an equal— if not greater— amount of contempt.
Just saying. Zane died so you left. Abandoned Lloyd, your ‘dear baby brother’. Left Cole and Jay to sort through this themselves. Have you even seen Nya recently?
A knock at the door snapped Kai out of it, prompting a sharp inhale. The knock grew louder and turned to a desperate banging.
“Yeah yeah, I’m done. Hold on.” Kai groaned as he limped to the door, the brief fighting adrenaline long gone.
Kai opened the door, holding himself back from slamming it shut again. Standing in front of him was Lloyd. Short as always, clad in casual clothes instead of his usual ninja attire. That was weird. The kid hardly ever took the green gi off. The kid was looking at him. Was it pity? Maybe disappointment.
“Kai,” Lloyd said, taking a step into the bathroom. Kai brushed his hair back, taking deep, shuddering breaths. “You shouldn’t be in a place like this, Lloyd.”
“Neither should you.” Kai only shook his head, turning his back to the kid. “Then where do I go?” His hands cradled the back of his head, his eyes on the celing.
“I can’t go back. I just left you all… and I can’t…” a small hand touched Kai’s shoulder, prompting him to look down. Lloyd's bright green eyes stared into his brown counterparts. His blonde hair was tousled and wild, and his eyes were scrunched with concern.
“We need you, Kai.” Lloyd lifted his hands, placing his cool fingers on Kai’s thinning cheeks. “Zane wouldn’t want you to suffer. We are not dead, we’re here, waiting for you . Stop acting like the Master of Fire died along with the Master of Ice. Zane would want you to continue on and beat the odds. He would want you to help the others.”
Kai’s mouth opened and closed, words failing him. He… he wanted to deny it. He wanted to refuse. Lloyd was right. But he was wrong… did that make any sense?
Kai sighed, walking backward until his back hit the wall. He pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. “But I did die with him… I haven’t been– we haven't been whole.” Kai’s mind raced. He hadn’t thought this much about the Overlord and Zane’s death since… well. Zane’s death.
“I want to come back, I really do. It's just, I don’t think I can . It hurts to think of him…” Kai slid down the wall to the floor, eyes still covered. “I want to go back,” he mumbled, head pounding.
Zane would want him to go back. Zane would want him to check on his sister. Zane would want him to help Jay and Cole make up. Zane would want him to continue training, even in his absence. Zane would want…
After what felt like an eternity, Kai opened his eyes. Where Lloyd was, there was nothing. He was gone. Kai laughed bitterly. The runt was right after all. Even if part of him died, even if his elemental powers were harder to control, none of this was as bad as what Zane went through. And for all of that to be in vain?
Kai gingerly stood up, yanking off his wrestling mask.
I’m sorry, Zane .
Kai looked at his reflection, no longer sneering at the greasy-haired disappointment in malice. He took a shuddering breath, lifting his fist.
The mirror shattered, shards digging into Kai’s knuckles. The pain was barely noticeable. He had to do this. He had to go back. He needed to be there for his sister. He had to be there for his brothers. He couldn’t let Wu lose another student.
He had to give Zane’s death a purpose.