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You couldn't see the stars in Manhattan. Sometimes Percy would go outside onto his fire escape, the moonlace still blooming in its flower pot after all these years, and look up at the stars to see if he could spot Zoë Nightshade— he never could.
He had driven pretty far out already, but he still couldn't see her. He'd have to look up at the stars once he wasn't driving along a deserted highway in the dead of night.
Rachel put her hand on his arm, her nails slightly digging into his skin. She pointed just a bit ahead, at a small parking lot next to the beach. "Right there."
He just nodded, pulling Paul's Prius into one of the parking spots, definitely ending up crooked, but there really wasn't anyone around to get mad about it. Rachel took her hand off of his arm to open the door, and it was like the air that flew in from outside was even colder on the spot where it used to be.
Rachel Elizabeth Dare has been Percy's best friend since the start of high school, when he was late for art class in his freshman year at Goode and the only seat left was the one right beside her. Percy had had acquaintances in that school around the start, people he sort of hung around (he mostly just played basketball with them, but it was better than nothing), but when he sat next to Rachel, suddenly he had a friend.
It was the fall of junior year when Percy got a call from Rachel at eleven o'clock at night. Her dad had been yelling at her so much that she left the house and went out and somehow got her hands on a bottle of vodka. Percy immediately went out looking for her, and when he found her and brought her back to his apartment, she kissed him. She had tasted viscerally like alcohol. He wasn't sure if he enjoyed it.
Ever since then, it's like their friendship is always teetering on the edge of being romantic. They've kissed a couple more times after that. The first time they both had marijuana he's pretty sure they made out for a good ten minutes, though he can't really remember it. Rachel holds his hand in the hallways at school, she's usually always touching him in some shape or form.
But they've never sat down and ever spoken about it. Percy was always stuck wondering whether she knew what was holding him back.
He knew that he needed to get over Annabeth. He just wished he didn't have to.
Percy got out of the car after her, locking it quickly and throwing the key in his pocket. They walked over the patch of grass separating the beach from the road, eventually feeling their sneakers sinking into the sand.
Rachel took a deep breath in.
Percy already felt better, less tired, refreshed from the sea breeze. He can never get away from it— being a half-blood. He tries. He escapes New York, he gets as far away from Long Island as he can, he tries to forget how much he fucked up. He hides the scar on his back, the one that almost killed him. He doesn't look in the mirror much. He tries to avoid horses, the colour blue, summer camps, falling in love.
He can never avoid the water.
He always finds his way back to it. It's his home, it's what keeps him alive.
Rachel walked closer to the water, stopping just before the tide would've hit her. She sat down, starting to untie her shoes.
Percy sat down beside her, crossing his legs. He'd touched water in these last two years, of course he had, he just hadn't been anywhere near the ocean. One time, the summer going into junior year, his mom proposed going to the beach for a day, and Percy got so afraid that it wasn't that hard to fake being sick anyways. He felt like throwing up anytime the ocean was mentioned. He hadn't been anywhere near it since... since Manhattan.
He didn't feel sick now. It was like the ocean rejuvenated him.
He hoped his dad couldn't sense that he was here. Maybe Poseidon had already faded away, kind of like Pan did in the Labyrinth. Either way, he was the last person Percy wanted to see right now.
Rachel took her shoes off, set them to the side, then took her socks off as well and stuffed them into her shoes. She stretched out her feet. Percy watched the tide wash over her bare legs, the water not reaching her cargo shorts. She smiled as she watched the water.
Percy looked up at the stars, spotting Zoë, bow in hand, shooting at some imaginary target. He could see it— her long dark hair flowing behind her, her bow raised, her enemy hit with perfect accuracy. He still missed her. He could still hear the weird way she talked, he could still remember the way her soul had floated up into the sky, her body dissolving right before his eyes.
Percy tore his gaze away from the constellation, instead focusing on the horizon, the almost-full moon shining down on the water. He swallowed his sadness.
He could see Rachel reaching forward, letting the water run over her fingers. He could feel the current, a nagging feeling in his gut. It made him feel nauseous.
"How do you feel about turning 18?"
I shouldn't have lived past 16. But he couldn't say that. He hated that he couldn't talk about... really anything like that. The prophecy, the way everyone thought he was going to die and just didn't say anything. The way that sometimes he wished that he had died, like he was supposed. He'd never been more desperate for a prophecy to come true.
"I don't know." The weight of those words sunk, deep down into the ocean, deep down where all his emotions stayed, all the ones he refused to talk about.
He could see the way Rachel's brow furrowed in concern, the way she looked at him. With Rachel, it was like she could see right through you— Percy always felt like she could look at him and see everything he was feeling. Like she knew everything about him. She just never asked.
Well, until now.
"Birthdays aren't so fun?"
Birthdays haven't been fun since he found out he was going to die at 16. Now they were just a symbol of how badly things went that day. "No, they're not." Percy couldn't face her. He kept his eyes on the water.
"Getting old kinda sucks now, doesn't it? It used to be so much fun."
Percy blinked, trying to keep the tears out his eyes. "Yeah." He flinched at the way his voice cracked.
They sat there in silence for a while, the only sounds being the ocean lapping against the shore and the wind whistling in their ears.
Sometimes, sitting here, with the sea breeze blowing in his hair and the smell of salt water rolling off of the water, he could almost forget that nothing had changed. He closed his eyes. He felt like he was still sitting on the beach at Camp Half-Blood, satyrs playing volleyball in the sand, Annabeth right at his side—
"Percy?"
He opened his eyes, turning towards her. "Yeah?"
Rachel's voice shook slightly. "Do you ever have nightmares?"
Percy's heart lodged itself in his throat.
Of course he has nightmares. Everyone does. Normal mortals do, it's just that he's a demigod, and he doesn't get a lot of forboding messages from the gods in his dreams anymore, so he doesn't really get dreams at all.
She picked at a loose thread in her jeans, twirling it around her finger. "I don't mean... I don't mean, like, normal nightmares. Like, serial-killer-chases-you-through-your-middle-school type nightmares. I mean... I mean nightmares that feel like they mean something. Dreams that feel like they're trying to tell you something."
"Describe them to me." He could barely get the words right. He wanted to turn back towards the water, breathe in the salty air, try not to listen to the next things she said. But he couldn't take his eyes off of her. He needed to know everything.
She tucked her hair behind her ears. In the darkness, she almost looked like a brunette. "There's been this recurring one. You're... you're standing in this really big room. There are... really big chairs. There's a man lying on the ground, he's got one gold eye and one blue eye. He's talking to a girl behind you, a girl with braids. Then he talks to you and says something about how he's the only one who can kill... kill a certain person, I can't remember the name."
Percy almost wanted to tell her, just say the person's name was Kronos, but his tongue was like a weight in his mouth.
"So... so you give him this kind of... bronze knife, he pushes a bit of his armor off and goes to stab himself right there. You turn around for just a second, checking on the girl when the man lunges for you and slices you across the back. Then I wake up."
That's exactly what had happened after the battle of Manhattan. So vaguely described, yet not a single detail didn't match. Why would Rachel be dreaming about that? Not just once, but multiple times?
She drew her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them. "I know... I know it just sounds like any other weird nightmare... but I feel like it means something. I feel like it's trying to tell me something, I just don't know what."
Percy had spent so much time lying to Rachel about this. He had kept it a secret since they were freshman, and now they're going to be seniors. Besides, what's the point in telling her? It doesn't change the fact that the gods don't have any power anymore. Percy half expects his water powers to be suddenly revoked at some point, just because being the son of Poseidon doesn't really hold as much weight anymore.
Besides, why was Rachel seeing something that had already happened? She didn't know a thing about the battle of Manhattan. She didn't know Grover, Annabeth or Luke for that matter. She didn't know Kronos.
Percy was still trying to find some way to answer when Rachel looked down at her watch. She lifted her head up a little, letting out a breath of air. "Happy birthday." Her eyes were sparkling, reflecting the stars.
He turned away from her. The tide went back and forth, back and forth, just far enough to touch the tips of his sneakers.
He was an adult.
He didn't feel any different than he had when he was twelve.
He watched as Rachel sifted her fingers through the sand, making different shapes with her finger. She was always making art, even when she wasn't really thinking about it.
Percy hadn't been in the ocean since Manhattan.
He stood up, slipping his sneakers off.
She looked up at him. "What are you doing?"
"Do you wanna go swimming?"
She got to her feet almost immediately. "Of course."
Percy took his socks off, and then his shirt, leaving him in only his shorts. Rachel tied her hair up and took off her shorts, leaving her in only a big t-shirt and underwear.
She smiled at him before pivoting and running into the ocean.
Percy swallowed back the thoughts that were racing through his head.
She's having dreams about Kronos. Something big is about to happen. Something is about to change. Maybe there can bea chance for me to fix my mistakes. Maybe I'll be able to actually save the world this time.
Or, the one that rang out the loudest:
Something big is about to happen. I could see Annabeth again.
He took a deep breath and ran after Rachel, letting the ocean take him away.