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Diluc didn’t like wine. It was quite ironic considering that his father was the biggest wine producer in the region. Growing up around vineyards and winemakers couldn’t change his nature. Its taste, its consistency, its smell, everything about wine bothered him.
Kaeya had tested that he held the same animosity towards almost all kinds of alcoholic beverages. It was their bitterness. It was adorable, really, how Diluc passed off the more mature between the two of them but couldn’t stand bitter tastes. Just like a little kid.
There wasn’t a single wine Diluc liked. Or so they thought.
Crepus had been testing new combinations of grapes and new aging techniques. He had sent the results of those experiments to Kaeya and Diluc – just to Diluc, in theory, but they lived together, and Kaeya was the drinker. Kaeya considered those packages for him too.
It was now Friday night, they had no plans, and that meant it was time to do some wine tasting.
Which was how Kaeya now found himself with a drunk Diluc lounging over the kitchen table and babbling on.
Apparently Diluc liked that combination of grapes. It was sweeter than most, felt light, and didn’t have that strong body that red wines had. As if to test that it didn’t taste good just because of something he had eaten before, he had gotten a glass of water and a second glass of wine. Then he had tried another. He had gotten a second glass of that wine too.
“You make me so angry,” was saying legendary lightweight Diluc Ragnvindr. “So angry.”
His speech was a little slurred. His head couldn’t stay still, it kept swaying left and right, back and forth. It would have almost made Kaeya nauseous, if it wasn’t so damn funny.
“Angry?” he asked, trying to repress a laugh. “Why?”
There could have been many reasons. Many. His messiness, first of all. Not that he was outrageous in his chaos, but he certainly wasn’t as precise as Diluc. He just tended to do all of his housework at once and Diluc couldn’t stand that. Or maybe was that he sometimes came back home at ungodly hours of the night after fooling around with people he barely knew. Diluc seemed to be pissed off about that too, no matter how quiet Kaeya tried to be. Or maybe it was how much fun he had antagonizing Diluc on any topic, no matter how absurd, just to make him angry. Diluc knew it was a tactic, but that didn’t matter when he was being poked – and Kaeya knew how to poke him. He fell for it every time.
It could have been any of those reasons and more.
“Because…” Diluc’s voice trailed off. “Because you’re so pretty. I fucking hate it.”
Kaeya raised his eyebrows.
First, Diluc didn’t curse. Ever. Kaeya had even wondered if he knew the words to curse at all.
Clearly he did.
Second, since when did Diluc think he was pretty? Annoying, a smart-ass, smart, Kaeya knew Diluc thought that of him. Not pretty. Not once had they talked about physical appearance.
Not that he didn’t think Diluc was quite good-looking, but… well. It was complicated when they were supposed to be housemates. Neither of them wanted to go through the hassle of looking for a new apartment in case a relationship turned into a disaster. Their friendship and partnership had to be long and strong.
He brought the glass of wine to his lips.
“Pretty?” he asked, with a smile on his lips and shaky hands.
Why was he shaking?
“Pretty,” repeated Diluc. “I know what I said. Did you know you’re pretty?”
“I’m quite aware of that,” replied Kaeya.
“Ugh, sooo humble.”
Diluc squinted, like he was trying to put into focus the room.
“Are you alright?” asked Kaeya. “If you feel sick, tell me. I don’t want to have to clean the kitchen table from your vomit.” His pragmatism was kicking in. As funny as DIluc was at the moment, he was dealing with a person who never drank outside of the house and barely did inside.
Diluc nodded and Kaeya decided to trust him enough to focus his attention elsewhere. He put down the glass of wine to stir the stew that was supposed to be their dinner, if Diluc managed to put himself together enough to eat.
“And now he ignores me,” grumbled Diluc.
“Oh?” Kaeya’s ears perked up. “Do you require my attention, mister Ragnvindr?”
“What kind of question is that? You’re my best friend!” declared Diluc, with an emphasis and an intensity he never used. “I love you.”
“Aw, you already think of me as your best friend? You’re so sweet when you’re drunk,” cooed Kaeya, ignoring how that I love you had made his heart skip a beat.
Diluc giggled. “I’m sweet,” he said to himself.
“Sweet like pie,” went on Kaeya, gently mocking him.
It was too good of an occasion to not take advantage of it. Diluc giggled again.
“Hey, is there something else about me that makes you angry?”
Diluc thought about it long and hard, judging from his expression. Kaeya waited patiently.
“Your butt.”
That answer wiped the grin off of Kaeya’s face and made him choke on his own saliva. So Diluc paid attention to his butt? He was discreet. Kaeya had never noticed him staring. And he was good at understanding when someone found him attractive.
He turned to his housemate, who was still sporting an intensely pensive expression.
“What?” could only ask Kaeya.
“I said, your butt. How did it get like that? It’s like…” Diluc gestured with his hands. Badly. “Like a balloon. Volleyball. You know. Round.”
It was true that he had been working out his lower body, but he hadn’t noticed such a difference in his glutes. He had to compare pictures as soon as possible.
“So my butt looks good?” he asked after regaining some semblance of composure.
Diluc nodded. “Very good. Extremely good.”
“That’s… very gratifying to hear.”
“And I hate that other people see it,” added Diluc.
Kaeya had to turn off the fire under the pot, because he wasn’t going to focus for a while. Diluc sounded positively possessive about his butt. That was new. Or was it just the alcohol? Maybe it was just the alcohol. Yeah, it had to be that. It was putting thoughts in Diluc’s mind that he wouldn’t have normally. Sure.
“Unless I stop going outside the house, people are going to see it,” pointed out Kaeya. “And I need to go to work. I can’t stay at home.”
Diluc sighed. “I know.”
He said that I know like a person accepting a hard truth about reality, not like a friend who had just been told he couldn’t keep his friend’s ass all for himself. Kaeya laughed.
“I’m glad we’re on the same page.”
There was finally some silence from Diluc. It lasted until Kaeya was not worried anymore about what would come out of Diluc’s mouth next.
He started to set the table, then looked at Diluc for a moment.
“Are you able to eat?”
“Of course, pretty eyes.”
Kaeya was speechless. Again.
Pretty eyes. Pretty eyes. Not only drunk Diluc noticed all of his features, he was a shameless flirt too. Kaeya repressed a grin, in equal parts amused and taken aback by the kind of intoxication his friend was going through.
“Pretty eyes too, uh? Are you going to compliment all of my body? I feel quite objectified, mister Ragnvindr,” he said.
It was meant to be a joke, but Diluc’s eyes filled with tears.
“I’m making you feel bad?” he asked in a broken voice.
Kaeya tried not to laugh as he rushed to comfort Diluc.
“No, you’re not! Don’t worry, I was just joking.” He passed a tissue. “You can go on.”
Diluc dried his eyes and blew his nose. “Good. Cause I wanted to say, your – he held up his hands like he was holding two bowls – are nice too.”
It took Kaeya a moment to connect the dots. When he did, his eyes went huge and his hands flew to his chest.
“Yeah, those,” said Diluc.
“Ah.” Kaeya blushed. “Thank you. I guess.”
“You’re welcome,” replied Diluc in his most serious tone.
Kaeya served two plates of stew and sat down to eat in front of Diluc. He wondered what he was going to remember of this exchange – if he was going to remember anything at all. His roommate started eating slowly, not aware of many things, but at least aware that his motor skills were compromised.
Kaeya raised his eyes on Diluc again when he was done eating and found him staring with a deep frown.
“What is it? Are you okay?”
“Sorry. They’re staring at me,” said Diluc.
Kaeya blinked and lowered his gaze. He was wearing a lowcut t-shirt and he was leaning forward. Diluc wasn’t that wrong. They were staring.
“I would ask you if you want to touch them, but you’re drunk right now and I want to be sure you remember the moment,” said Kaeya without thinking.
“What?”
“What?”
They looked at each other, equally surprised by Kaeya’s answer. Kaeya cleared his throat.
“Nevermind.”
After dinner he helped his roommate get into bed. At that point Diluc was tired enough that he was drifting off to sleep on his feet and Kaeya had had enough fun. With some pushing and some pulling he managed to get Diluc under the covers.
“Thank you,” said Diluc as Kaeya left. “You’re the best person I know.”
Kaeya froze for one last time that evening.
“You’re pretty great too, ‘luc,” he said. “And also pretty handsome!” he added cheerfully.
Diluc chuckled and almost immediately fell asleep. Kaeya looked at him for a moment, before closing the door to the room and finally allowing himself to panic.
What the fuck?
He had thought his attraction to Diluc was under control. After being complimented and flirted with for an entire evening, it wasn’t anymore.
He gave himself a light slap. He had the whole night to rebuild his façade. If he put some effort in it, he could face Diluc like normal the following day. With a second light slap he went to his bedroom.
*
Diluc woke up with a headache. He had never slept so badly in his life. His movements were slow, slurry, his eyes felt hard to keep open, his mouth was dry. Why was his body like that? What had happened?
He felt his heart sink.
Oh. Oh no. He remembered what had happened the evening before. The mental cold shower he received was better than any homemade hangover treatment. It stripped him of any tiredness and replaced it terror.
He had told Kaeya the thing he wasn’t supposed to tell him. He had drunk – there was a fucking reason he never drank, didn’t he remember? He had a tendency to spill his guts when he was tipsy for some reason.
Damn it, Kaeya was the worst person to get drunk in front of. There was too much Diluc kept for himself for it to be safe.
Well, he could stop stressing about that now. Everything was out in the air and his only chance of getting out of the situation with pride and heart intact was hoping Kaeya would take the words as something Diluc had said only because he was drunk.
He dragged himself out of bed and saw he was wearing the clothes of the day before. At least he hadn’t also been stripped by the guy whose ass he’d complimented the entire evening.
He changed into something fresher and found Kaeya in the kitchen.
He was drinking a cup of coffee and scrolling on his phone. He seemed to pay no attention to Diluc. Diluc did the same and beelined to the coffeemaker, hoping the caffeine would help clear his mind.
“Morning,” said Kaeya as he approached.
“Mph,” mumbled Diluc.
Kaeya chuckled. “Still recovering from yesterday?”
Diluc weighted carefully his next words.
“Recovering my pride, more than anything,” he said and waited to see if Kaeya had something to say about that.
Kaeya remained silent, which only unnerved Diluc more.
“Listen, I know I rambled,” he went on. “I do that when I’m drunk. I didn’t mean anything that I said.”
Maybe to deny it so strongly was suspicious, but at least he gave Kaeya the option to take it as true and not think about it.
“Ah. I see,” said Kaeya. “Cool. Cool.”
Diluc frowned, his back still to Kaeya. He sounded… disappointed.
Disappointed?
He cleared his throat.
“I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable, by the way.”
“Uncomfortable? No, no, don’t worry,” quickly reassured him Kaeya. “Aside from the fact that I’ve seen way worse, it was fun, actually. You’re always so composed. Stiff, even.”
Diluc raised an eyebrow. “You have a strange concept of fun. But I’m glad.” He stirred his coffee. “Doesn’t change that I was inappropriate. You can see why I never drink.”
“Mh-hm,” hummed Kaeya, but he sounded lost in thoughts.
If Diluc had been strange the evening before, now it was Kaeya’s turn. He was usually pretty chatty in the morning – a legitimate question would have been, when wasn’t he chatty? Today he seemed spacey, not present. He was thinking deeply about something. Diluc was worried that something were last evening’s words.
“Well, if you ever change your mind, I’m not opposed to letting you touch my butt.”
Diluc choked on his coffee.
“Kaeya!”
His roommate grinned. It was infuriating how attractive he was even as he pushed his buttons.
“I have to go to work now,” said Diluc dryly. “See you later.”
He had hoped work would help him clear his mind. It didn’t. There wasn’t much to do except getting bored, and being bored meant thinking about Kaeya. And his ass.
How did someone get such a perfect ass?
Diluc put his head in his hands. He didn’t want to move apartments, but the tension was killing him. Kaeya was killing him. He was too attractive and magnetic for his own good and Diluc had fallen right for it.
He is your housemate, and you need to keep it together, he told himself as he was coming home.
When he walked inside, Kaeya greeted him from the living room.
Diluc took off his shoes and tried to get to his room, only to be smacked in the face by a freshly showered Kaeya who was still wearing only sweatpants. Which were also resting dangerously low on his hips.
“Ah, boob eveni- fuck, I mean, good eventit- shit.”
Unable to form a coherent sentence and a coherent thought, Diluc marched to his room and slammed the door behind him. His brain was a bunch of screaming and mentally ripping his hair off. So much for keeping it together.
After a while, Kaeya came knocking on his door.
“I’m gonna make dinner. Are you hungry?”
He sounded unfazed – or at least able to talk to Diluc without laughing at him.
“Later,” he said. “I need to finish something first.”
The thing he needed to finish was going through the five stages of grief. He was still stuck at bargaining. A deep sigh rose from his throat.
Kaeya, despite his shamelessness, usually didn’t walk half-naked in their shared spaces. It was either an isolated accident, or, worse, it was a tactic to make fun of Diluc. Great. That was going great. And if he wanted to win, he had to put his body and soul into controlling his reactions.
Small accidents kept happening in the following days. Kaeya leaning over his shoulder to read something, breathing into his ear, touching his side, his hands, and apologizing, Kaeya fixing his hair.
Diluc thought about them as accidents, because he didn’t like to admit to himself that they were clear provocations. Kaeya was having so much fun with him. Well, at least he could take solace in the fact that he was providing his housemate with endless amusement.
When Kaeya tripped – clearly on purpose – and landed into Diluc’s arms, he couldn’t hold back a comment.
“You don’t have to do that,” he said, tired.
Kaeya stumbled over his words as the tips of his ears reddened.
“Do what? What do you mean?”
“I know it was funny seeing me drunk. You don’t have to rub salt in the wound.”
He let go of Kaeya, who had been hanging in his arms with no intention of pulling himself back on his feet, and fixed his clothes. When he was done, he raised his head and saw Kaeya staring at him, expressionless.
“What is it?”
“Are you serious?” asked Kaeya.
Diluc frowned, taken aback by Kaeya’s tone.
“About what, not wanting to be made fun of? I don’t think I’m asking too much.”
Kaeya raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You’re incredible.”
“Kaeya, what are you talking about?” insisted Diluc, his patience wearing thin.
Then Kaeya kissed him. He grabbed him by his sweater and kissed him, ferocious and exasperated. Diluc froze, his mind blank, his body weak. He only felt Kaeya and his lips pressed against his, his tongue, the minty taste of his toothpaste. Kaeya, Kaeya, Kaeya.
Kaeya, who eventually let go of him and stared with heavy breath. Diluc blinked, for a moment lost in his housemate and crush’s eyes. When he got back his ability to speak, the first thing he said was:
“So you weren’t just provoking me.”
Kaeya pressed his lips together, but couldn’t hold back his laughter for long. It sounded like water from a mountain’s spring.
“No, you idiot. I was trying to flirt.” He flicked Diluc’s forehead. “And clearly you didn’t want to believe it.”
Diluc grimaced. “Alright. Now what?”
Kaeya kissed him again. “I have something in mind. You might like it.”