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After the successful completion of their first ever world tour, Manifesto, Enhypen is currently in preparation for their second world tour, Fate. Being added to the setlist of this tour are the songs from Dark Blood and Criminal Love, one that they haven’t released yet.
The members can’t help but feel nervous and worried for the tour, but nevertheless, they are preparing well to put on an amazing performance for Engenes.
And hopefully everything goes smoothly.
“Hyungs, Riki! Wake up!”
Jungwon’s voice could be heard throughout the dorms. Unfortunately for him, being the leader meant he had to wake everyone up, which most often proved to be a hard task.
Heeseung, Jake, and Sunoo were the first to wake up and started to get ready. Jay and Riki were forcefully woken up by Jungwon as they were the most stubborn out of all the members.
Sunghoon, on the other hand, was having a bit of a rough morning.
He had spent the previous night practicing over and over because he couldn’t seem to get any of the moves right. The tour had truthfully been stressing him out, but his perfectionist self did not allow for mistakes to be made. He couldn’t afford to make a mistake.
His entire body was sore and he knew he was coming down with a cold, so waking up was not an easy task.
Sunghoon wasn’t sure how he would get through practice today, but his thoughts were interrupted when a knock was heard. “Sunghoon hyung, it’s time to wake up. We leave in 15 minutes.”
“I’ll be out soon, Jungwon,” Sunghoon simply answered.
He slowly got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, not without visibly wincing at the screams of pain his body let out from every movement he made.
Sunghoon did the bare minimum to get ready and followed the rest of the members out the dorm to their manager’s car shortly after.
“What schedules do we have today?” Heeseung asks their manager.
“Today you all have both vocal and dance practice. Vocal will be individual and dance will be as a group. After this, there’s only one more practice before the rehearsals for the tour,” the manager tells the members.
The car settles in a comfortable silence as the members are caught in deep thought. The tour is approaching soon and it makes them nervous and worried, but they believe in themselves.
“Alright boys, we’re here. I’ll be back later to pick you all up after practice. If you need anything before that, just give me a call,” the manager lets the members know.
“Thanks manager-nim!” the members say in unison.
The members head to the vocal practice rooms, where their vocal teachers are waiting for them for their individual lessons.
The vocal lessons are going really well, except for Sunghoon’s.
“Alright, Sunghoon. Let’s start by singing your part in the bridge of Shout Out,” the vocal teacher says.
Sunghoon nods and begins to sing. He’s pretty doing well, until he hits the high note and his voice cracks. On any other day, he would have had no trouble hitting the high note.
The vocal teacher gives him a glare and he clears his throat so he can try again.
Sunghoon sang once again, but unfortunately, his voice cracked while he was singing the high note.
“Sunghoon, how come you aren’t hitting the high note? You’ve done this many times before so it shouldn’t be a problem for you,” the vocal teacher tells him, her voice laced with annoyance.
“It’s clear to me that you haven’t been practicing your vocals like you should've, otherwise you would have sung your lines perfectly. I’m extremely disappointed in you.”
Sunghoon feels something break in him when the vocal teacher says that. He’s been trying his best, but in the end, he’s just a disappointment to others. He’ll never be enough.
“I’m sorry.”
“Well if you’re sorry, you’ll spend day and night practicing your vocals so you don’t ruin it for the others during the tour.”
The vocal teacher leaves and Sunghoon immediately collapses to the floor, letting all of his unshed tears fall silently. The words of the vocal teacher ring in his mind as he silently sobs even harder. He has to work harder, otherwise the tour will be ruined because of him. It’ll be all his fault.
Sunghoon is on the verge of a downward spiral when a knock suddenly snaps him out of his thoughts.
“Sunghoon hyung? It’s Jungwon. It’s time for our dance practice,” Jungwon’s voice filters into the vocal room.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” Sunghoon answers, trying to hide the fact that he was crying alone.
“Alright hyung.”
Sunghoon wipes his face and puts on a neutral expression as if he wasn’t crying. Once he is satisfied with the way he looks, he heads out to go to the dance practice room.
Once he enters the practice room, Sunghoon is met with an annoyed glare from the choreographer.
“Finally you’re here,” the choreographer mumbles under his breath, just enough for Sunghoon to hear.
He feels guilt bubbling up in his stomach and quickly joins the members to not aggravate the choreographer even more.
“Let’s go over the choreography of Criminal Love since that’s the hardest,” the choreographer says.
The members nodded and began dancing. Everything was going smoothly until the last chorus.
Sunghoon couldn’t maintain his balance during Heeseung’s part, therefore stumbling in his position and bumping into the members around him. His body is too sore to be practicing one of their hardest choreographies, especially since he had been practicing nonstop the previous night.
The members gave him reassuring looks that it’s okay, but the choreographer clicked his tongue in annoyance.
They got into position once again and practiced only the last chorus. But to no avail, Sunghoon stumbled during Heeseung’s part again.
“Oh my god! Can you stop messing up the choreography? The other members are getting it down just fine and here you are ruining it for the others!” the choreographer exclaims, clearly directed towards Sunghoon.
“Choreographer-nim, Sunghoon simply made a mistake,” Jungwon told the choreographer.
“It doesn’t matter! Clearly he wouldn’t have made a mistake if he practiced and was talented enough. He’s going to be the reason why the performances are ruined.”
The choreographer directs one last glare to Sunghoon and leaves.
“Sunghoon hyung, don’t listen to the choreographer, it’s okay–”
“Don’t worry about me. I just need to practice more and I’ll get it right,” Sunghoon cuts Riki off with a slightly cold tone to his voice.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” Sunghoon adds as he leaves the practice room.
The members are left worried for their member. They know how Sunghoon can get when he makes mistakes, he’ll shut himself out from the rest of the members because he doesn’t want to burden them with his problems and is afraid to become vulnerable in front of them.
They want to approach him, but they know that they need to give him some space for now.
Meanwhile, Sunghoon is going through the same routine again. He cries his heart out on the bathroom floor and puts on a facade to hide his true emotions. It’s clearly starting to become too much for Sunghoon to handle alone, but he can’t bother the members, he just can’t.
It’s another day of dance practice for the members, which Sunghoon had been dreading since the incident that happened at the last one.
As expected, their choreographer had the members practice the choreo for Criminal Love and it all came falling down once again during Heeseung’s part when Sunghoon lost balance and bumped into the surrounding members.
To the other members’ dismay, the choreographer yelled the same words to Sunghoon, only harsher.
“Do you even want to be an idol, Sunghoon?! You need to get your idiotic brain to memorize these moves if you even want to perform on stage, you understand me?!” the choreographer yells at Sunghoon before storming out of the practice room.
The members are absolutely shocked at what just happened and carefully try to approach Sunghoon. However, before they can reach out to Sunghoon, he is already running off to the bathroom.
The members run off after him and try to get through to Sunghoon, “Sunghoon hyung, please open the door,” Sunoo pleads.
“Just leave me alone,” Sunghoon says coldly. He desperately craves the members’ presence and warmth, but he would never want to burden them.
“Hyung please, we just want to make sure you’re okay. So please, open the door for us,” Jungwon tries again.
Much to the members’ surprise, Sunghoon opens the bathroom door. But before they can sigh in relief, Sunghoon starts shouting at them.
“I said leave me alone! I don’t need your help! I never did and never will! How hard is that to understand?!”
Sunghoon storms off once again, leaving the members frozen in place. They are at a loss with how to help Sunghoon. However, seeing that they are getting nowhere, the members decide to leave it for now and just silently watch over Sunghoon.
Days have passed since the members’ last attempt to confront Sunghoon and frankly, there has been some separation between the members. The members and Sunghoon to be exact.
The members are wary of talking or even approaching Sunghoon because they are afraid he might go off on them again. Sunghoon has also been isolating himself more, staying at the company late at night to practice more and avoiding his members at any cost.
But they still want to help him and comfort him. So the members decide to have a meeting with Sunghoon, determined to help Sunghoon because it hurts the members to know that he is struggling and they can’t do anything about it.
Sunghoon returns to the dorms at 1AM in the morning after practicing for who knows how long. Rather than returning to a quiet dorm with the members all sleeping, Sunghoon is welcomed with the members all sitting in the living room, seemingly waiting for him.
“Hyung,” Jungwon starts, “come sit down with us.”
Sunghoon wants to run away and hide in his room, but nonetheless he complies.
“What’s this about?” Sunghoon says and if his voice wavers, the members don’t mention it.
“Sunghoon, we’ve been noticing how off you’ve been the past few weeks and we want you to open up to us. We know it’s hard but everyone here supports and loves you.” Heeseung begins.
Sunoo continues, “You’re our family, hyung. It breaks our hearts to see you like this and we want to help you.”
“Whatever you’re going through, you can share it with us. We won’t judge,” Jake finishes with the other members nodding.
“And what do you all know?” Sunghoon says in a low and cold tone.
“Heeseung hyung and Jay don't have to worry about anything because they’re the all-rounders. Everyone favors them. All Jake has to do is put on his stupid puppy smile and boom, he can skip practice all he wants. Sunoo can get away with anything because he gains pity from his health conditions. He’s never forced to practice for hours like me.”
“Sunghoon, stop,” Heeseung warns.
Sunghoon ignores Heeseung and continues, “Everyone dotes on Jungwon because he’s a young leader. Talk about how Jungwon is supposed to be a mature leader for his age. And Riki, he’s the freaking dance prodigy of this group. No one would dare to correct him, in fact he’s the one that’s always correcting others like the self-centered person he is. None of you would understand and you all never will. So stop acting like you care about me when really you’re just trying to save your careers from being ruined by a talentless person like me. It’s annoying, frustrating, and disgusting.”
Everyone immediately freezes and the atmosphere becomes extremely tense.
Seeing the members’ heartbroken expressions, Sunghoon’s words finally catch up to him. He doesn’t mean those words at all. Not even a single word. Sunghoon wishes he could take back his words and shower the members with compliments instead. But the damage is already done.
The members are aware that Sunghoon didn’t truly mean any of the words he said, but still, they are hurt. One of their members said such cruel things about them that they can’t help but feel hurt.
“Guys, go wash up and get ready for bed,” Heeseung tells the members gently, but with authority. None of the members argue and head to their respective rooms.
As soon as Heeseung and Sunghoon are alone, Sunghoon suddenly puts his head in his hands and starts sobbing. “I don’t know why I did that! I’m so sorry! I’m the worst person ever!”
And that’s when Heeseung realizes that Sunghoon has been having a hard time dealing with everything alone, instead of reaching out to the members. He knows that what Sunghoon did was unacceptable and unforgivable, but it only tells Heeseung how hard of a time Sunghoon’s had.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, I’m-”
Heeseung cuts him off as he brings Sunghoon into his embrace and welcomes him to the warmth of a hug. Sunghoon tries to escape the hug, but Heeseung only hugs him tighter and closer.
“No! I don’t deserve this! Let me go…” Sunghoon objects but slowly loses the fight in him and moves closer to warmth of the hug that he had been missing. He fists the fabric of Heeseung’s shirt in an attempt to ground himself and cries out all of the emotions that have been plaguing him these past few weeks.
Once Sunghoon’s cries turn into sniffles, Heeseung pulls him away from the hug and tilts Sunghoon’s head to look at him.
“Sunghoon,” Heeseung starts, “What you did was not right, I’m not going to sugarcoat that. But I’m not going to scold you and make you feel worse about it because I know you didn’t mean it and I know that the members know that too. I just want to remind you that all of us are here for you if you are going through a hard time. I know it may be hard to ask for help, but we are all here, we’re not going anywhere. You can lean on us if you need to.”
Sunghoon sniffles and makes eye contact with Heeseung, “We love you Sunghoon. You’re our family, one of the seven shining stars in our group. If you ever feel like you're breaking or falling apart, we’ll be there to pick up the pieces until you become whole again.”
“We’ll always be here,” Heeseung says with finality.
Sunghoon’s heart warms at the kind words from Heeseung, but he knows that he doesn’t deserve it. Especially after what he did to the members.
“Hyung, I’m really sorry,” Sunghoon begins as he puts his head down in shame, “There is no excuse for what I did when all of you were just trying to help me. I want to apologize and talk to the other members, but I’m not even sure if they want to see my face right now.”
“You hurt them a lot, including me, Sunghoon. I’ll tell you that. But trust me when I say that they know you meant none of those words at all. They just need some time.” Heeseung reassures him.
“For now, let’s head to bed and get some rest.”
Sunghoon nods and the pair heads to their respective rooms to hopefully get some rest.
A couple days have passed by since the incident and the members have been showing signs of comfort and forgiveness towards Sunghoon. They are still slightly upset, but they didn’t take any of his words to heart as they knew he didn’t mean a single word.
During practice today, Jungwon and Riki helped out Sunghoon with any dance moves he was having trouble with. Jake and Sunoo silently offered him some snacks and water during their breaks to make sure he was taking care of himself. If he was overpracticing or not taking breaks, Heeseung and Jay would take him on a walk outside to clear his mind.
Sunghoon felt like crying because of how kind the members were. He doesn’t deserve this type of treatment after what he had done to them yet they still are taking care of him.
Once the group returns to the dorms, Sunghoon feels like it’s time he apologizes and explains himself to the members. Before the members go to wash up and retire to their beds for the night, he hesitantly stops them.
“C-can I talk to you all?” Sunghoon says with a wavering voice.
The members nod their heads with soft smiles and settle into the living room. It’s silent for some time, but the members don’t push him to speak.
Taking a deep breath, Sunghoon begins to speak.
“I know it is long overdue, but I want to apologize for my behavior for the past few weeks. None of you deserved any of it and I am an absolute jerk for that. You all were just trying to help me but instead of being grateful and accepting of that, I said unforgivable things. I understand if you all are mad and upset at me, I don’t expect any of you to forgive me. I am really sorry.” Sunghoon’s voice wavers at the end as tears begin to fill his eyes.
“Sunghoon hyung, we all forgive you,” Jungwon says, “We know you’ve been going through a lot lately and we know that you didn’t mean any of the words you said.”
“Yes, it was out of line. But we care for you Sunghoon hyung. We know the true you and we know that you need a place to release your emotions, and if that place was us, then we’re more than glad to help,” Sunoo continues.
“I don’t deserve this kindness for you guys,” Sunghoon cries as the members bring him in for a group hug.
“Sunghoon, we want to help you because we care. Will you let us?” Jake asks him.
Sunghoon instantly nods because he wants his members to help him out of this rollercoaster of emotions.
“Please, I don’t think I can do this alone.”
The members give him gentle smiles as Heeseung speaks up, “That’s okay. That’s what we’re here for.”
“Sunghoon! You got the choreo wrong for the nth time! How many times do I need to tell you before you get it in your stupid brain?! You are just a talentless idiot!” the choreographer yells at Sunghoon.
“Choreographer-nim, Sunghoon was sick the past few days and is only now learning it. Please understand his situation–” Sunghoon cuts off Jungwon.
“If I was a talentless idiot, I wouldn’t be in Enhypen right now. If all you’re going to do is yell at me, then I would like to ask you to leave and come back when you will address me or the other members respectfully,” Sunghoon says as he turns to the rest of the members.
“Come on, guys. Let’s practice,” he says with a warm smile.
The members reciprocate the same smile with a hint of proudness and get into their formations.
They’re proud of how far Sunghoon has come. I mean, he’s got the best members ever.