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Lee Heeseung, the oldest member of Enhypen. The most talented well-rounded ace of the group who can sing, dance, rap, compose, basically anything you name. From his flawless vocals to his powerful dancing, there isn’t anything Heeseung can’t do. Except for one thing.
Heeseung is the definition of overworking, he doesn’t know how to take care of himself. He wakes up at the crack of dawn to practice his already perfect vocals and stays extra hours after practice to perfect his flawless dance moves. Heeseung doesn’t need to improve, in fact, he’s already perfect just the way he is.
And truth is, all of this extra practice is taking a toll on him, both mentally and physically. But he’s the oldest of Enhypen, he can’t be slacking off and showing his weak side. The rest of the members look up to the oldest so Heeseung has to maintain a strong and invincible image.
Plus, the rest of the members already have enough things to worry and stress about, Heeseung doesn’t want to add to that by being selfish and weak. So when it comes to preparing for their first ever world tour, things go a bit downhill.
Enhypen is holding their first ever world tour, Manifesto, running for about 5 months visiting Korea, Japan, the U.S., Thailand, and the Philippines. To kick it off, they’re starting with a two day concert in Seoul.
Despite their excitement and nervousness, all of the members managed to get a good night’s rest for the last day of rehearsals before day 1 of Manifesto in Seoul. Well, except for one person.
Heeseung lost count of how many times he woke up in the middle of the night to suppress a cough. With all the long practices to prepare for the tour, his physical condition was worsening every day. It was becoming harder and harder for Heeseung to keep up with the practices but nonetheless he continued to push himself past his limits. The last thing he wanted was for the tour to be delayed or for the members to lose focus because of his selfishness.
And it didn’t help that Heeseung had asthma as well.
He was born with it and truthfully, it had not caused any problems for him until he became an idol. But of course, being the person he is, Heeseung never told the members about it because he didn’t want to burden him with his condition. He was just going to have to deal with it on his own.
It was safe to say that Heeseung woke up the next morning feeling absolutely terrible. It felt like his arms and legs were replaced with weights and he was already a little breathless even though he hadn’t done anything yet.
He tried to sit up but immediately felt lightheaded and fell back onto his bed. Heeseung closed his eyes in hope of relieving his symptoms, only to drift off back to sleep.
“Heeseung hyung, wake up”
Heeseung stirred at a soft voice and felt a couple of taps on his shoulder before slowly opening his eyes to meet those of Jungwon’s.
Jungwon takes in the exhausted appearance of the older. “Heeseung hyung, it’s time to wake up. You don’t look too well, are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine, Jungwon. Just a bit tired because I couldn’t sleep last night.” Heeseung answers with half of the truth. Jungwon frowns but seems satisfied with his answer.
“Take it easy today, okay hyung? Go wash up and come out for breakfast before we leave.” Jungwon kindly tells him. Heeseung nods and Jungwon gives him a pat of the head before he leaves the room.
Heeseung manages to wash up like Jungwon tells him to. He ignores the aches and pains his body sends him every time he moves, not to mention the uncomfortable tightness in his chest.
He heads to the kitchen to grab some breakfast, only putting a small spoonful of eggs on his plate and filling a glass of water before taking a seat next to Riki.
“Morning hyung!” Riki happily greets with a smile on his face.
“Morning Riki,” Heeseung replies as he returns the smile and ruffles their maknae’s hair.
“Hyung, don’t tell me that’s all you’re eating for breakfast. We have a long day of practice ahead, you’ll need all the energy you can get.” Sunghoon says with a concerned frown on his face.
“Don’t worry, Hoon. I just don’t really have that much of an appetite.” Heeseung brushes off Sunghoon’s concern.
“But Hyung–” Jake pipes up before getting cut off by Heeseung.
“I’m fine . I’ll just make sure to eat some snacks throughout practice.” Heeseung responds with a quick smile before quickly finishing his breakfast and heading back to his room to pack his practice bag.
The rest of the members look at each other with concerned faces. But they decide not to push it and trust the oldest.
Everyone finishes packing for their practice and heads outside to the car where their manager is waiting for them.
“Morning boys, excited for tomorrow?” the manager asks them as they enter the car.
Jungwon takes the passenger seat next to the manager. “Of course we are, hyung! It’s been our dream to go on tour and meet Engenes all around the world and it’s finally happening!”
The rest of the members excitedly nod their heads in agreement.
The manager gives them a proud smile. “Glad to hear that, boys. You all have been working so hard for this tour, so how about I treat you boys to some dinner after practice?”
All of the members shout a “thank you” to their manager before they all set off to the company.
As they drive to the company, Heeseung feels his lack of sleep catching up to him and slowly falls asleep on Jay’s shoulder. Jay is visibly surprised at this because Heeseung never takes a nap in the car, let alone on a member’s shoulder. Despite the slight concern arising, Jay brushes it off and makes sure Heeseung is comfortable on his shoulder.
Sunoo notices Heeseung sleeping on Jay’s shoulder and frowns at his hyung’s behavior. “Guys, don’t you think Heeseung hyung’s acting is a bit weird this morning? He never sleeps in the car and always eats enough for breakfast.”
“Hyung said he was a bit tired because he couldn’t sleep well last night, so maybe that’s why.” Jungwon explained.
“We’ll just all make sure to keep an eye on him during practice.” Jay finishes.
Heeseung wakes up to see six pairs of eyes staring at him caringly with slight concern. It was then that he realized he fell asleep on the car ride to the company.
“Oh shoot, sorry guys. Are we late for practice?” Heeseung asks the members.
Jay shoots him a small smile. “No, we got here a bit early and wanted to let you sleep a little longer since you seemed really tired.”
Heeseung mentally curses at himself for not masking his condition and already worrying the members. “Oh, I’m fine now. Let’s head inside?”
The rest of the members hesitantly nod and they head inside to their practice room and begin practicing.
“Alright boys, take a 15 minute break.” their manager tells him.
The sound of heavy breathing can be heard as the members lay on the cold floor, clearly exhausted from practicing. Some get up to go get water, while others go grab a quick snack to replenish their energy.
Meanwhile, Heeseung is having trouble breathing. Not just a little bit, but a lot. His lungs feel like they’re on fire and each and every breath he takes is extremely painful. He tries to take deep breaths and constantly rubs his chest, but sooner than later, he finds himself gulping for air and realizes something. He is having an asthma attack.
Heeseung can’t let himself get caught, he doesn’t want to ruin everything because of a stupid asthma attack. So when he sees that the other members are occupied with drinking water or eating, he grabs his bag and rushes to the bathroom before anyone can see him. However, Heeseung stumbles a little due to the sudden heavy weight of his legs, alerting the members, but he successfully makes it out before they can question him.
Heeseung bursts into the bathroom, locks himself in a stall, and quickly uses his inhaler. The pain subsides and Heeseung is finally able to breathe again. He slumps against the bathroom stall’s door, exhausted from the asthma attack he just had. He waits a few minutes for his breathing to even out before heading back to the practice room, clueless about the worried members that are waiting for him.
“Ok, what just happened?” Jay questions after seeing Heeseung rush out the room with no context.
Sunghoon furrows his brows in concern. “Something is definitely up with Heeseung hyung. First he doesn’t eat much for breakfast, falls asleep in the car, and now this?”
“I’m worried, I hope nothing’s wrong with hyung.” Sunoo says with a pout on his face. “Me too, hyung never acts like this.” Riki pipes up mirroring the same expression as Sunoo.
Jake wraps his arms around the two maknaes in comfort. “I’m sure he’s okay.”
“Let’s talk to Heeseung hyung when he comes back to see what’s going on.” Jungwon ends the conversation.
Little did they know that Heeseung had heard their conversation just as he was about to open the door to their practice room. Not wanting to get caught, he quickly masks his expression and puts on an act to deter the members from the truth.
“I’m alive! Gosh I’ve been holding that in for so long.” Heeseung exclaims as he opens the door and crashes on the floor in front of the members in an exaggerated manner.
The members all look at him with puzzled expressions. “Wait hyung, what are you talking about?” Jay asks him, clearly confused.
“Oh, I had to use the bathroom really badly during practice but held it until we had a break. I thought I was going to die.” Heeseung replies as he bursts into laughter.
There’s a couple seconds of silence before the rest of the members burst into laughter with the oldest.
“Ah hyung! We thought something was wrong with you and were worried this whole time!” Sunoo tells him as he slaps Heeseung’s leg.
Heeseung was glad that the members bought his lie. “Sorry guys, I had to use it so bad I didn’t have the chance to tell you all where I was going.”
“It’s okay, hyung, let’s continue practice now that we know our oldest is fine.” Jungwon finishes with a teasing tone.
The members finish up practice and then go out to eat with their manager, who had promised to buy them dinner.
Finally, it was d-day. Day 1 of Manifesto in Seoul was awaiting the members and they were beyond excited to perform for Engenes.
Unfortunately, Heeseung was not feeling any better. He woke up and was immediately attacked by a coughing fit and his chest was in burning pain. He used his inhaler but his chest was still hurting and his lungs were working a bit harder than normal to breathe. However, today was an important day for all the members and Heeseung didn’t want to ruin that, so he ignored his condition and went out to eat breakfast like nothing ever happened.
“Morning guys,” Heeseung winced out how raspy his voice sounded despite the fact that he was literally coughing his lungs out a couple minutes ago.
The members all greeted their hyung with bright smiles, unable to contain their excitement for today. “Here hyung,” Jay hands him a plate of food.
“Thanks Jay,” Heeseung replies with a smile. He goes to sit at the table with the other members and digs into his food.
Much to his luck, Heeseung gets attacked with another coughing fit. He starts to panic as he realizes that his members are there to see it happening, which only makes it worse. Jake helps him drink some water while Sunghoon and Sunoo pat Heeseung’s back.
After several painful minutes, Heeseung’s coughing fit subsides and he looks up to see all the members staring at them.
“Hyung, are you okay?” Riki asks in a small voice laced with nothing but worry for the oldest.
“I’m fine, there's nothing to worry about. The food just went down the wrong pipe.” Heeseung brushes off Riki’s concern.
“Are you sure you’re okay, hyung? That didn’t seem like it was just from food going down the wrong pipe.” Sunghoon pipes up as he didn’t believe what the older was saying.
“I said I’m fine. You guys are worrying for nothing.” Heeseung says with a slightly colder tone than normal.
“But hyung–”
“I said I’m fine!” Sunoo gets cut off by Heeseung, who immediately snaps at his dongsaeng.
All of the members' eyes widened because Heeseung has never, never ever , raised his voice at any of them before, especially at the maknaes. It was a well-known unspoken rule amongst the members to never raise their voices at each other and talk things out calmly and rationally.
No one moves as Heeseung leaves the kitchen until their manager comes in and tells them it’s time to head to the venue.
The car ride to the venue is filled with silence and tension. No one has dared to speak since the incident.
Once the members arrive at the venue, the manager turns around and stops them before they leave. “Boys, I’m not sure what’s going on between you all, but please do your best to not let it affect today, alright?”
The members simply nod at their manager before heading to the dressing rooms. Despite the thick tension in the air, the members switch to professional mode and get ready to perform for Engenes.
And finally, it is showtime.
The concert was going well so far, the tension in the air no longer existent and instead replaced with a fun and lively atmosphere. The members were having the time of their lives and Engenes were excited to see them perform. They showed off their goofy sides and hyped up Engenes before every performance to maximize their enjoyment.
However, all good things must come to an end.
They already finished a majority of the concert, with only a few performances and the encores remaining. Before continuing to perform, a VCR played to give time for the members to change their outfits, freshen up, and have a little breather.
Once the members reached their dressing room, Heeseung almost immediately collapsed on the floor. He could not breathe. The pain and tightness in his chest was even worse than this morning and he was gasping for air like a fish out of water.
The members froze and their faces morph into shock at the scene of their hyung having what looks like a severe asthma attack.
Jungwon snaps out of it and immediately switches to leader mode. “Jay hyung and Jake hyung, go find the manager and the medics. Sunoo hyung and Riki, search hyung’s bag to see if anything can help him. Sunghoon hyung, help me lift up hyung to the couch.”
All the members quickly acted upon their leader’s instructions and Sunghoon and Jungwon laid Heeseung on the couch.
“Hyung, can you hear me? I need to try and take deep breaths with me.” Sunghoon instructs Heeseung as lays out breathing patterns for his hyung.
However, Sunghoon’s words have fallen to the deaf ears of Heeseung. His mind is set in panic mode and he is unable to process his surroundings. Black spots also start to dance around in his vision.
“We found an inhaler in his bag!” Riki yells as he and Sunoo run over with said object.
Sunghoon tries to get his words through him once again, putting the inhaler in his mouth. But it was too late because Heeseung went limp.
“Hyung!” Jungwon screams. He brings his now shaking hands to check Heeseung pulse, only for his blood to go cold. Heeseung isn’t breathing anymore.
Sunoo pulls Jungwon and Riki away from the scene while Sunghoon gives Heeseung chest compressions.
“Come on, hyung! Breathe!” Sunghoon yells as he tries to get his hyung to breathe.
As if on cue, Jay and Jake return with the manager and the medics, who immediately check on Heeseung while Sunghoon hesitantly moves away.
“It looks like he’s had a severe asthma attack and wasn’t able to take his medicine in time. We’ll have to take him to the hospital to see how bad it is.” the medics tell the manager as they put Heeseung on a stretcher and take him away.
“Alright, thank you.” the manager replies before facing the members. “Listen boys, I will accompany Heeseung to the hospital and you boys will finish up the concert, okay?”
“No, hyung! We can’t just continue on with the concert knowing that Heeseung hyung is not okay, we want to go to the hospital with him, please!” Riki screams but eventually his voice gets softer and softer.
The sight of their hyung not breathing was traumatic for all the members, the manager knows that. But they have to finish the concert, that was the rule when they booked the venue.
“I’m sorry, boys. There’s nothing I can do. Listen, Heeseung is going to be alright, I’ll make sure of it. You boys go on stage and finish the concert strongly for Heeseung. And then you can come to the hospital afterwards, okay?” the manager sadly tells them.
“The manager’s right, guys. I know how messed up it sounds but Heeseung hyung would want us to finish the concert for him.” Jungwon pipes up in agreement with the manager.
The rest of the members hesitantly nod their heads and get ready to go back on stage.
“Engenes, before we continue the concert, we want to inform you all about the current situation. Unfortunately, Heeseung hyung will not be finishing the concert with us as he was taken to a hospital for not feeling well. It is a shame to complete the concert without him, but Heeseung hyung would want us to. So we ask that Engenes be understanding of our situation and continue to enjoy our concert. Thank you.” Jungwon explains to Engenes.
Engenes shout words of encouragement and understanding to the members and get well soons for Heeseung. The members get teary eyed throughout the remaining performances but Engenes touches their hearts by singing Heeseung’s lines.
Fortunately, the members were able to successfully finish the concert and are now on their way to be at their hyung’s side.
“W-what if something really bad happened to hyung? What if he doesn’t m-make it?” Riki cries, breaking the thick silence in the car.
Jake wraps his arms around Riki as he breaks out into sobs and shakes violently. “Heeseung hyung will be okay. He’s strong, he won’t leave us. He will be okay.” he tells Riki, but mostly trying to convince himself with that last part.
“I should’ve noticed sooner! He’s been acting weird but brushing it off like nothing, I should’ve confronted him or something. Who knows how long this has been going on.”
Sunoo says as tears fall from his eyes.
“Guys, Heeseung hyung is going to be alright. We all saw the signs but it’s not anyone’s fault for trusting Heeseung hyung, it’s not his fault either. We’re going to go see him and he’s going to recover and be the same Heeseung hyung that we love.” Jungwon ends the conversation and offers a comforting hand to Sunoo, who gladly takes it.
The members finally arrive at the hospital and spot their manager talking with a doctor outside of Heeseung’s room.
“Hey boys,” the manager greets them sadly.
“Hyung, how is he?” Sunghoon asks impatiently, wanting to know about Heeseung’s condition.
“Are you boys related to the patient?” the doctor asks them. “Yes, we’re a group and his family.” Jungwon answers.
“Heeseung suffered from a severe asthma attack due to overworking himself and not monitoring his medical condition. As he failed to take his medicine on time, his lungs shut down briefly. He is now on oxygen and his vitals are slowly returning to normal. I expect that Heeseung will make a full recovery within a week but will need to monitor his condition for a couple weeks after he is discharged to ensure that he doesn’t have another asthma attack and takes his medicine promptly.” the doctor explains to the members.
All of the members sigh in relief because Heeseung is okay . Jay, however, gets confused at one thing that the doctor mentioned.
“What do you mean by medical condition?” Jay asks the doctor, unsure of why he said that.
“Heeseung has asthma. He was born with it and has been taking medication for it on a daily basis.” the doctor tells them.
The members’ faces morph into shock as they were not aware of this fact. They will need to have a serious talk with their hyung but that can wait for now. They need to see their hyung.
“Can we see him now?” Riki asks in a small voice, still processing the doctor’s words.
“Of course. He woke up a bit earlier and is currently sleeping.” the doctor kindly tells him.
The members give their thanks to the doctor and prepare themselves for the moment they’ve been dreading.
They open the door with shaking hands and their breaths hitch in their throats as they take in the sight of their bright and cheerful hyung now laying on a bed with pale skin and an oxygen mask over his face. The one thing that relaxed them was seeing Heeseung’s chest rise and fall.
Relieved that their hyung is okay now, the members feel their sleepiness catching up to them and drift off to sleep, but not without gathering around Heeseung.
Heeseung wakes up and is immediately confused by his surroundings. He’s not sure why he’s in a hospital room and why the members are around him until he registers the oxygen mask on his face. That’s when he realized he had an asthma attack.
He recalls what happened during the concert and is afraid to face the members. What if they’re angry at him? Or they might see Heeseung as weak and not want him in the group anymore or feel like he is a burden or—
“Hyung you’re awake!” Riki gently throws himself on top of Heeseung, effectively stopping him from overthinking although he wasn’t aware of that.
“Hi Riki, hi guys.” Heeseung winces at how hoarse his voice sounds. Sunoo notices this and lifts his oxygen mask to let him drink some water. “Thanks Sunoo”
“How are you feeling, hyung?” Jungwon asks while putting a comforting hand on Heeseung’s arm.
Heeseung avoids eye contact with the members as his eyes start burning with unshed tears that are threatening to fall at any moment now. “I’m feeling better.”
“Hyung, you know we need to talk about what happened, right?” Sunghoon pipes up from the side.
“I’m sorry,” Heeseung begins sadly. “I didn’t mean for it to get this bad, I thought I had it under control. Everyone was so excited for the tour and I didn’t want to ruin that. You guys already have so much to deal with, I didn’t want to add on to that by burdening you guys with my problems.”
“Heeseung hyung, you would never burden us with your problems. We would rather postpone the concert and take care of you than performing knowing that you’re not okay. Your problems are our problems, you are not alone. We’re all here for you, okay?” Jay assured him.
“Whatever you’re dealing with, we want to be part of it and take care of you. We love you, hyung.” Jake adds.
Heeseung sniffled as he nodded. They’re supposed to be angry at him yet they are only offering him words of kindness and care. But he dreads to hear what one person has to say.
Sunoo .
Heeseung yelled at Sunoo, their precious resident sunshine, and he couldn't help but feel the guilt bubbling up in his stomach.
“Hyung,” Sunoo begins as he pats Heeseung’s leg. “Can you tell us why you never told us you had asthma?”
“I-I didn’t want to seem weak.” Heeseung says and the members all have frowns on their faces. “I’m the oldest of the group. The oldest is supposed to be the strong, reliable, and invincible one. I should be able to do everything on my own. And I didn’t want to delay our schedules or cause additional stress because of my stupid condition.”
And suddenly, Heeseung is embraced with six pairs of warm arms that breaks his facade and allows the unshed tears to fall.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Heeseung cries.
The members stay like that until Heeseung’s sobs turn into sniffles and move back to properly face him.
“Hyung, you are the strongest person I’ve ever met. You’re extremely hardworking and talented, and that’s what I admire about you. But it’s okay not to be okay.” Jay tells him with a caring tone.
“We care about you so much and would rather put your health first before anything else.” Jungwon continues.
“Just as much as we rely on you, you can rely on us too.” Riki adds as he gives Heeseung a warm smile.
“You’re not going to be able to do everything on your own and that’s completely fine. That’s what we’re here for.” Sunghoon says as he takes Heeseung’s hands in his own.
“Nothing, and I mean nothing , will ever burden or trouble us in any way.” Jake assures.
“Hyung, it’s okay to be vulnerable and ask for help, especially when you’re around us. We’ll always be here to get you through whatever you’re going through. You will always have us by your side. We love you, hyung.” Sunoo finishes off as he hugs Heeseung warmly.
Heeseung’s heart is filled with warmth and love from all these kind and caring words. “Thank you guys so much, I don’t deserve you guys. I love you too.”
The members hug Heeseung one more time in comfortable silence before he breaks it, realizing that he forgot one important thing to do.
“Guys, I just want to say I’m sorry for how I acted. You guys were just looking out for me. And I’m especially sorry to you, Sunoo. No matter how frustrated I was, it didn’t mean I could yell at you like that. I’m sorry.” Heeseung apologizes with remorse for what he did.
“Hyung, it’s okay. You don’t need to apologize, we understand why you acted that way. Although you’ll need to let us take care of you while you recover to make up for it.” Sunoo tells him with a slightly teasing tone towards the end.
“Okay, I will”
Once Heeseung gets discharged, the members clear all their schedules for the week to take care of their hyung.
Jay makes sure that Heeseung eats three meals a day by cooking him nutritious meals full of love, with the help of Jake. Sunghoon keeps him on schedule with taking his medicine, while Sunoo and Jungwon assist Heeseung in washing up. Lastly, when Heeseung goes to sleep, Riki provides him with the privilege of exclusive maknae cuddles.
And that was how Heeseung realized he deserves to be taken care of too.