Work Text:
Pre-performance.
The familiar adrenaline rush courses through the veins of five very gifted performers.
They huddle together, mumbling words of encouragement and (mainly) gibberish because they need everything they can do to tone down the dizzying sensation caused by extreme anxiety, exhilaration - the explosive blend of both. It's their first major performance in The States and Jiyong does his usual mother hen lecture a good fifteen minutes the performance. He makes sure they memorise their dance moves and know their positions by rote. He uses that usual, stern and slicing voice. The one that he always uses to implicitly remind the rest - don't you dare let me down.
After a chorus of positive replies, he dismisses them with a nod of finality.
They scatter, to their various make-up artists and costume designers, to touch up on their appearance and to make sure that it's all impeccable.
They all know, first-hand about Jiyong’s notoriously high expectations. Everything has to be perfect. Nothing less.
On top of that, its worth noting that Jiyong's sort of perfection differs from the norm - he doesn't quite like it when it's the kind of still and superficial or rather in his terms, insipid perfection. He prefers it when their perfection is palpable enough for the fans to feel it. The easiest way to achieve this, he thinks is to involve the element of surprise. And so he never fails to make them add some 'spice' to their performance, to do something that's indelible.
The rest of them have been abiding to this special rule for a while now and of course, their standard of performance only goes uphill from there. (When are G-Dragon’s ideas ever not foolproof?) And it’s unsurprising when Jiyong says that he is, impressed by their occasional burst of creativity - which include and are not limited to the rehersed on stage bromances - GRI, ToDae, BaeRi and other odd combinations of sort.
They do their research of course. Google, fanfiction websites, sometimes even social media fan accounts.
The members are incredibly attentive when it comes to their specific ‘ships’, so of course, Jiyong being Jiyong, the 'fussy, worry rat with a flat ass' Seunghyun would refer to him as (most of the time behind his back) never fails to hold a few "practice the bromance" session for their own sake.
It doesn’t take a genius to know what happens during these sessions.
Certainly, Jiyong does try to tell himself not to look too much into things whenever Seunghyun teases him by means of slapping him on the ass, or when Seunghyun looks at him with the kind of incredulous coffee brown eyes as if to say 'are you fucking kidding me' whenever they are told to ‘hold hands’ or ‘wipe the sweat off each other’s foreheads.’ Then again, Jiyong being Jiyong, upholds his nonchalance, callous façade, shrugging off the possibility of their relationship, stating over and over again that it's all for show. He'll go as far to admit that it sickens him, the fact that he doesn’t entirely mean what he says. He ignores the feeling of his heart plummeting whenever Seunghyun shrugs off the GTOP remarks. Seunghyun’s capricious reactions don’t exactly help calm him down at all. In fact, it does quite the opposite. He’s forced to suppress his own tormenting desire for the older man's touch - as wrong as it sounds - so he tosses these feeling so deep into his subconscious until he's almost certain it'll never resurface ---
But Jiyong knows perfectly well he can't correct everything. Especially not when it's organic. Not when they come in the form of feelings. So he doesn't deny it when these illegal desires do resurface.
Hell, he's at it again.
He really shouldn't. Not right now. It's their final encore performance of Fantastic Baby and they're all soaked with sweat to the very bones. A sweaty Jiyong isn't exactly an easier Jiyong to deal with. He's always been pretty particular about his hygiene level and if it were to go down his mood would dive down along with it.
And the sight of a soaked Seunghyun; damp, mint hair glued against his forehead, shimmering beads of sweat making their way languidly down his collarbones.
Jiyong's absolutely fucked.
He can feel it from all the way down his unusually tight jeans.
Why his mind embraces and replays the scene of Seunghyun's lips against his every time he's idle, he doesn't know.
Or why his entire nervous system feel like they're in a temporary state of blissful paralysis whenever Seunghyun holds eye contact with him, he doesn't know.
He doesn’t want an answer either, really. But Jiyong knows himself well enough to receive an answer.
Love is, an invasion of privacy.
He shakes off the feeling of complete filth and corniness. With all his remaining willpower, he refocuses his attention back to the performance. It has to be perfect. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.
"WOW, FANTASTIC BABY," Jiyong ends off with a boom, sending the most of the fangirls screaming at about a thousand decibels. His lips curl into a loose smile when he reaches out his arms to wipe the sweat off his forehead. He looks turns to face Youngbae and Seungri, flashing them his goofy grin and a cheeky thumbs up. He cranes his neck then, hoping to hold eye contact with either Seunghyun or Daesung at the other end of the stage; just so he can tell them how pleased he was that their first concert in the States did rightly turn out fantastic.
But blinks twice when he catches the sight of them both.
Jiyong's caught so off guard, he chokes.
Literally, he chokes, and lets that boiling feeling of resentment overwhelm his logical frame of mind.
Seunghyun's hands are wrapped around Daesung's shoulders, almost protectively. He's resting the side of his chin on the crown of Daesung's head.
To say that Jiyong is livid, would a blatant understatement.
He feels like he's drowning and hanging on the edge of a cliff all at once, because all these feelings - anger, annoyance, denial, exasperation and something along the lines of his heart feeling like it's been punctured after withstanding several blows – comes rolling into his being all at once and he's so damn confused. He doesn't know why he's feeling this bitterness - or jealousy to be exact - and this only enrages him further because this isn't supposed to be happening.
Jiyong did come up with a contingency plan , in the case of the possible faults during their performance. His predictions are known to be quite sound and comprehensive actually - they range from what may go wrong, what they can do to divert the fans' attention to somewhere else if the need arises.
But this wasn't included as a part of his contingency plan.
He's livid past cure. How dare they come up with something so unplanned.
He won't lose his cool on stage. No, not for something so trivial like the inability to conceal his very own emotions – something that he’s all the while excelled at. This has got to be some kind of sick joke. Or a dumb prank.
Fucking hell, Seunghyun.
Jiyong knows how people don't get to choose who to love, what to feel and what to expect from back from those they love, but he doesn't quite know how to react to this absurdity, this strange possessive streak of his. He will try to ignore it, push it aside for now, because he has to deal with the whole issue of suppressing his bloody emotions, first.
"Thank you Americaaaaa!" Yongbae practically yells into the mike, adding on to the already feverish atmosphere.
Jiyong pulls through the rest of their performance with a smile, that doesn't quite reach his eyes.
He tolerates and sits through the entire ToDae ordeal on stage, which of course doesn’t last for more than three minutes.
For Jiyong, its thirty-three hours of hell.
When everything finally ends, Jiyong storms backstage, mood plummeting down to negative infinity times ten thousand.
His blood seethes, at sight of Seunghyun, casually strolling in with his arm still slung around Daesung's neck. He draws in a deep breath, walks towards Seunghyun, and deliberately elbows him in the guts, shooting him a piercing look that practically screamed 'Talk. You and me. In private.'. Seunghyun gets the message almost instantaneously, though with immense hesitance, he nods politely in acknowledgement.
Jiyong knows he's being unreasonable and a small part of him is dying to approach the situation when he's calmer. He knows he isn't in the right frame of mind to sort things out but his blood is simmering and taking an impromptu self-lecture on "mind over matter" isn't exactly the best idea. But he's never going let that slip. Seunghyun can't just get away with disobeying his usual set of on-stage rules.
When the rest get his signal to depart, Jiyong slams the door shut, ignoring Seunghyun’s peculiar stare.
"So…what the heck was that about?" Seunghyun inquires, looking startled.
"You're asking me?" Jiyong's voice is calm, eerily calm.
The still silence resonates.
Jiyong grits his teeth.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I've done nothing wrong. I pulled out the surprise for the fans like you would have instructed us to. I think I should be the one needing some enlightenment here." Seunghyun retorts, looks hurt.
Expelling a soft sigh, he leans against the wall, folding his arms restlessly across his chest. It does something to Jiyong - his confused stare, unenlightened pose, gorgeous frown - because somehow Jiyong's beginning to lose his focus. He's not even sure if he's angry anymore.
How his routine actions get Jiyong's heart almost spinning out of his chest, he doesn't know. Or he doesn't admit. Either way, he knows he can no longer resist the urge to find out. To explain himself, his behaviour and to more importantly quit embarrassing himself. He has to do it, now.
Immediately.
Jiyong sucks in a deep breath. "ithoughtafterthatsecretgardenparody,youknowthatkiss,weactuallyhavesomething-somechemistry-orsomethingidontknowokaybutwhatareweSeunghyun?whyareyoudoingthistome?you'remakingitallsoocnfusing"
His voice is met with drop dead silence, and Jiyong swears that its the loudest, the most ear-piercing one he's ever heard.
Seunghyun's reaction is sort of delayed - by about ten seconds at least - because he isn't the brightest tool in the shed when it comes to reading people, much less understanding extremely foreign concepts and ideas.
He has every reason to struggle in assimilating this new found information, just because:
a) His confident, haughty, self-confident and rational band leader is nervous,
b) Kwon Jiyong. Jealous. At the thought of him and someone else.
If it weren’t for the suffocating tension in the room then, Seunghyun would've laughed, a full hearty laugh. But things as they are now, he doesn't quite know how to react - to laugh or to pull the younger boy into his arms not just for show.
He thinks he will be impetuous.
Recklessly, he presses Jiyong against the wall, roots both his hands slightly above either of the younger boy's sides, caging him in. Seunghyun takes a closer look up at Jiyong's face - now, clearly written with desire - and smirks. His own chocolate pools bore into Jiyong’s rich, hazel ones.
Seunghyun knows Jiyong's the captured deer in the headlights.
Jiyong’s eyes are tainted with so many, many emotions. His invulnerability, his leader-like confidence, all wiped out within seconds. He's never seen the tough boy so vulnerable. It's like meeting the Prince who's been wrongly misidentified as the Pauper. There's so much richness to his sudden lack of command, of helplessness. Needless to say, Jiyong's insecurities make him all the more beautiful.
There's just something about wielding an effect over Jiyong who's been so seemingly impervious to his advances for so long.
And Seunghyun decides, almost immediately that he prefers this Jiyong. This Jiyong is different. He’s vulnerable, needs to be protected and also looks so helpless and ravishing at the same time its achingly perfect, his timid confession.
Jiyong's perfect. Seunghyun thinks its hard to believe he’s human. He grins, still gazing intently into his panic-stricken eyes. It's almost like he finds pleasure in Jiyong's plight (well, technically he does).
Jiyong's so aroused, frustrated and confused at the same time he wants to scream for help and maybe physical assult but, he's caught in between. It's an inane affair, really.
Jiyong likes the feeling of Seunghyun's stupidly beautiful pair of golden-rimmed irises, on him see. It makes his cheeks heat. So much so he's forced to initiate the breaking of their intense stare-off.
On hindsight, he really should've known better.
Because the next thing he remembers is Seunghyun lifting his jaw in place with then, leaning in ever so slowly to close the distance between them. The snug of their noses brush and Jiyong feels Seunghyun's breath on him. They are an atom length apart. Jiyong gulps because he is so fucking turned on he doesn't even try to tame his growing erection.
He really should have revised his bank of contingency plans.
"An answer, you asked?" Seunghyun rasps, his breath now tickling the tip of Jiyong's ears. Jiyong nods hesitantly as he curls his toes in anticipation.
Seunghyun doesn't really think. He lunges in intuitively, taking in the taste of Jiyong's petal lips. It happens incredibly naturally - how like their lips mould against each other and move in perfect sync. Jiyong's lips are soft and light, like a combination of feathers and dust, water and cloud, all together at once. Seunghyun feels his gut plummet off to the stars because he now knows how its like to feel complete; part of a flawless whole. That sinking feeling in his chest whenever he thinks he sees Jiyong forcibly staging their GTOP antics, is completely and finally, now gone for good.
And all Jiyong tastes in that moment, is the sweet flavour of Seunghyun's breath, the feel of strong fingers cupping his cheek, and an estranged arm girdled around his waist. Seunghyun's touch sends the hair on Jiyong's neck practically standing; the sheer passion their lip lock elicits in him. Jiyong has never kissed anyone with quite so much feeling, and to feel as much as he tastes, it like touching the sun.
It's like coming home.
Their innocent game of lip locking soon evolves into an oral combat, evocative of the rougher burning desire for not just physical needs, but an emotional commitment. Seunghyun nibbles gently on Jiyong's lips, before sliding his tongue over them-- it’s his implicit way of saying be my boyfriend. Jiyong smiles against the kiss, parting his lips ever so slowly, enjoying Seunghyun’s sinful agony during his wait for the subsequent consent.
A part of Jiyong, regrets immediately what he's done because Seunghyun does relentlessly, proceed to thrust his tongue, over that of his own, again and again.
But that isn't all of course, paired with the arrival of the darkness, it builds up to the supplementary thrusting yet to come.