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V sat on the edge of the rooftop to her apartment's megabuilding, looking down at the city night below her feet.
She didn't want to think about it- how her life was being ripped away from her like this.
She didn't want to think about Johnny, how she wished they could be friends instead of this push and pull of bitterness and resentment towards each other... And him also not being a parasitic virus slowly overwriting every aspect of her mind and body would have been nice too. His want to steal her body and use her as a suicidal vessel for his resentment and a movement that died with him fifty years ago in a ball of fire and a showering of rubble left her feeling powerless, like her body really wasn't even hers anymore. And in reality, as much as she didn't want to face the truth, it really wasn't. She wasn't truly... Well, herself anymore. Decisions and actions he would have taken so naturally in his own life would come to her without second thought. His memories were beginning to bleed with her own, as if she had really experienced them with him, and she was nothing but a passenger inside of her own mind, absolutely unable to do, well... Anything.
That's what she hated the most, wasn't it? Being so damned powerless.
It seemed her fate was being decided for her by someone who seemed to hate her very living being, and it was not a great position to be in.
She continued to watch the city below, looking as the lights blended together in a watercolor of reds, greens and neons. The sound was muffled, distant, and this high up, it really felt like she could actually breathe for the first time in the past few days. Jobs bled together, leads came and went, and each would stop just short of helping her without twisting her life totally on it's head yet again. The icy chill of the rain began to soak through her down to the bone, her clothes sticking to her shivering form, but she didn't care. It was a comfortable numbness she now sat in, just letting the rain wash away everything from the past few days- the blood, sweat, tears and fear.
For the first time in the short time they had known each other, Johnny's shimmering and glitching engram didn't appear in front of her in a jolting action that he knew would get a rise out of her. Instead, he appeared next to her, his presence close enough that she could feel the slight snap of electricity in the air as his espresso gaze watched her closely, considering making a joke about her not jumping to her death, how she obviously had soooo much to live for. But, for once, he kept his mouth shut. He recognized that expression, that blank stare as she looked onto the world below her, her hands resting on the rough and scratchy grout of the rooftop ledge beneath her fingers. He would then lean against that same ledge, shifting his hips a bit as he crossed his legs and leaned his weight against his forearms and elbows. For a moment, he just allowed the silence to linger, not really knowing how to break it.
And then, he spoke, that gravelly and rumbling baritone vibrating through V's mind and down into her very bones, meeting the chill and making her shudder a bit in surprise as she was pulled from her thoughts.
"Everything alright?"
"Yeah..." She gave him an acknowledging glance, her voice so soft compared to his as it broke a bit from the strain on her fragile and slowly withering body. She noticed the cracks in her tone and cleared her throat, wincing a bit. She sounded exhausted, and that wasn't lost on Johnny in the slightest. "Yeah, I just wanted a minute up here. Away from everything, y'know? A minute to just... Breathe, I guess?" She then turned her eyes out to the skyline again, watching as the cloud-choked sky turned a gorgeous dark and inky indigo, the neon lights below offering an undertone of pinks and blues and purples that complimented the stars. They were little pinpricks of light, splattered against the dark backdrop like paint carelessly but beautifully splashed from the tip of a brush. "S'pretty. Up here, I mean."
"Yeah." The rockerboy standing next to her took a deep breath of night air, letting the chill fill his lungs as the rain falling pattered softly off of the bulletproof vest his engram was cursed to forever wear. There was a certain peacefulness about his old stomping grounds that he hadn't appreciated back then, but he thought now would be as good a time as any. He kept his distance. He knew the very sight of him was sometimes all it took to set her off, and he had to admit, he really didn't make it easy for her to tolerate him most days. There was another beat of silence, another moment that slipped between them before he spoke up again. "Do you ever think you're being too hard on yourself sometimes?"
Her laugh was just as strained and raw as her voice, and she looked down as the raindrops fell from her hair, splattering against her signature leather pants with the material gaining a somewhat odd glistening sheen to them. The water would bead and fall from her legs and plumet to the ground below. Her eyes focused on her combat boots, her legs swinging over the dizzying distance below them as she took note of the fraying laces and battered shoes. She probably needed a new pair.
"Kinda have to be," She admitted defeatedly. It was odd to see this mountain of a woman, this undeniable force and massive pain in Johnny's ass just look so... Human for once. She was no longer a merc running the streets below him, who had had the absolute gall to infiltrate Kompeki Plaza weeks ago with a half-baked plan and a prayer to whatever higher power existed. She wasn't someone who dove head first into danger with a very work first, ask questions later attitude that she was slowly beginning to evolve from him. She looked softer, like the weight of the whole world was weighing on her shoulders, genuinely about to cause her collarbones to splinter and shatter any minute from the overwhelming force.
And then it hit Johnny; Despite the name being taunting and snide, he really had to think... She genuinely was just a kid, wasn't she? Just twenty-two, freshly on her own as a solo merc. And, honestly, it almost pained him to see just how much all of this was really beginning to take a toll on her.
"Workin' against the clock, thinkin' every day will be my last. I mean, that was always the fear before- I think everyone fears death to some degree in their life for whatever reason. But now, with all of this relic junk, the virus from it, it's been put more into perspective, and now it's all just starting to feel so... Fuck, I dunno, real?" She grimaced as she spoke, "Especially with the malfunctions have been getting more... Frequent? I guess that's the right word for it. It just feels like each malfunction will be the last, then I'm wakin' up to you dragging me away, sitting me up in a chair and forcing me to talk to you until I can at least stand on my own two feet and my body stops losin' it's shit."
He looked down at her legs as they dangled, taking in each of her words carefully. He was actually listening to her now, and it was different than the V he was used to, that smartass bitch that he could taunt and tease just to rile her up and get under her skin.
He had seen this look one too many times, on old comrades, on himself...
"Are the malfunctions really startin' to get that bad?" But, now, he was looking down at her instead of the sky that her eyes were so glued to, his brows knit slightly as his tone darkened.
Was that just the tiniest glimmer of concern in his voice?
A bit of worry on his face?
If there was, he'd rather drop dead than admit it out loud.
"Nah, just third trimester cramping," The young merc answered smarmily, before rolling her eyes and sighing. Okay, so she was still just a bit of a bitch.
Always one with the damned sass, just like a bratty child.
Finally, she exhaled a breath she didn't realize she had been holding, nodding slowly. "Yeah. Yeah they are. I'm sure you can feel it too, like the clock's runnin' out on us?"
He did feel like the clock was ticking like a goddamned time bomb to their ultimate detonation point, where one of them would get burned up in the blast. The sands of times really stopped for no one, not even a Night City legend like himself, the larger man mused as he crossed his arms, continuing to lean his weight against the roof ledge. Now, it seemed all his name was remembered for was spitting on the non-existent grave of the ghost of the past or half-hearted toasts raised in his name before these damned kids ran off and got themselves killed all in the same.
It was an odd feeling, his end creeping so closely to him, just far enough to remain out of his grasp but close enough that he was constantly reminded it was there. But, it was one he had grown familiar with, as much as it left a sour taste in his mouth.
"Yeah, clock's tickin' by alright." He paused for a moment, taking the time to light a cigarette as he fixed his aviators on his face. The little orange ember at the tip of the rolled tobacco tube lit up his face in a wicked glow that accentuated his sharp and unforgiving features, the flashing of those reddish-brown aviators just as cold as the air around them. Dangerous. He leaked danger, chaos... Destruction. But now, he seemed to soften just a fraction, his stiff shoulders loosening just a bit as he took a drag of his cigarette and exhaled, letting the smoke in his lungs curl upwards, dancing around his head.
"Really feel like each malfunction is gonna be the last?"
"Johnny," She looked over at him, her eyes piercing in the darkness. Those circles under her eyes... Christ, it seemed like they were getting darker every day, the lines and bags deepening every hour she forced herself to remain on her feet and keep moving. "Last time, you had to take control of my damned body and drag my shambling meat suit to some blown out and abandoned hotel so we'd actually be safe..." She was referring to the Pistis Sophia, where she had sat in front of him wheezing and spitting up her own blood as she promised to take a bullet for him if the time called for it and he handed over the precious dogtags of his that now dangled from her neck, the shining silver metal seemingly cold as it glinted in the light of the moon above them.
While this had really only been days ago, it felt like a lifetime of hours had slid by, their time together seeming to only speed by in veracity the longer they held out and waited, trying to bleed every possible lifeline dry before moving to the next.
V's fingers picked at the grout with her nails, and he noted that she had begun to chew them raw, the black paint on her nails chipped and peeling in sheets. He could really only imagine how malnourished she must be, considering all of her time and energy was focused on trying to survive into the next week and not on fueling her body with the proper amount of food and sleep.
While he was one to talk, considering when he was alive he probably consisted of more drugs and alcohol in his blood stream then actual feasible matter like food and water, he was still concerned.
Guess he was a hypocrite, too.
"Honestly?" She would finally speak again, looking a tad defeated with this admission, "Didn't think I would wake up from that one."
That actually hit Johnny in the heart. The kid felt like she was so damned close to death after every malfunction. He could only imagine the amount of trauma and strain on her body. "V... Jesus Christ..." He breathed as he rubbed a hand against the side of his face, unsure of what to say to her. He really knew nothing would be worth saying. He couldn't promise her everything would be okay. That was an empty promise that pissed him off to hear, and he was sure it wouldn't help her either.
"S'fine... Don't gotta get all cut up all over it."
V now moved so she was laying her body down against the ledge as the ghost of the Night City legend sat next to her, her back pressed against the cold concrete beneath her. One hand rested on her stomach, the other reaching towards the sky, palm outstretched as she narrowed her eyes. "Always wanted to grab one of those damned balls of light," She mumbled, completely off topic, "Hold it so close to my chest it damn near burns me alive."
That made Johnny smirk. "You're a weird kid."
"Gotta keep you on your toes," She shrugged, "M'not some one act NPC that idols in the background." She actually smiled weakly as she heard the amused and miffed exhaling of air from his nose, the sound nothing more than a sharp huff.
She would close her hand around one of those tiny dots of light and pull her hand back to her face, only to open it again to reveal it was, to neither of their surprise, empty. She stared at her hand, watching it shake a bit from the strain and the cold, her skin almost ghostly white as her fingertips stained red. She really didn't know the last time she had properly ate or slept, or really just taken care of herself for that matter.
Everything was just bleeding together at this point.
"Think there's something after death?" She would ask this so suddenly, it almost caught the older man off guard as he sat with his back to her pressing against the concrete barrier of the rooftop, his arms crossed over his chest as he closed his eyes, his cigarette still slowly burning between his lips.
"Wondered about it," He admitted with a shrug, "Never saw anything that made me believe that it was real, heaven or hell honestly."
"Fifty years of just pitch black?" She inquired in response, one hand resting behind her head as the other remained resting against her stomach. She would close her eyes as well, feeling the dribbling of raindrops hitting her skin and slide down her temples and hair. "Was it... I dunno, peaceful, at least? I mean, I saw before you died, the moment you died. That shit was painful, but what about afterwards?"
"No, V, it wasn't peaceful." His voice held an edge that led V to believe she had struck a nerve in him that was definitely still sore. He let the silence settle, forcing her to absorb the sheer bitterness in his words. "It was cold. Dark and cold and... So goddamned lonely."
She nodded at that, and when the silence grew to be just a bit too uncomfortable, she opened her eyes, lifting her hand to the sky again, pointing. "See that?"
Her finger traced an imaginary line, like she was playing connect-the-dots in the sky with only markings she could see. "Canis Major and Canis Minor... Know the story of them?"
Johnny very clearly looked confused as he raised an unamused eyebrow at her, and she rolled her eyes, feeling him watching her, digging into her with his clear humorless gaze and lack of understanding.
"C'mere," She reached out and pulled him closer to her so he was now sitting with his side against the barrier, his arm leaning against the rooftop ledge above her tangle of messy and rain soaked hair as he tilted his head to force himself to see what she was seeing. "That's Orion," She hummed, pointing to a cluster of stars towards the east before returning her hand back to its original position. "His hunting dogs always follow, no matter where he goes. Canis Major would supposedly run so fast that the gods elevated the dog to the skies so he could run and hunt forever. Canis Minor was placed next to the banks of the Milky Way for it's loyalty, so it would never go hungry or thirsty, and they're never far from their master, faithful until the end."
As she spoke, Johnny couldn't help but just... Listen to her. She had such an interesting way of explaining this to him- it wasn't condescending or condemning for his lack of care or knowledge on the subject. Her tone was genuinely warm, like she was just sharing an interest of hers for him to sit and listen to. He followed her hand, narrowing his eyes at those damned pinpoints of light.
While V saw pictures and stories, he was looking on from the perspective of a trapped insect in a cup that a child had forcefully captured him within and wrapped in plastic wrap to keep him from skittering away; his only source of oxygen was the tiny airholes provided by the kid that had been sloppily jabbed in as an afterthought as he spent minutes just suffocating.
He really hated it all...
The vastness and the crippling emptiness that was out there, that somehow held their planet in such a vice grip that didn't magically collapse under the supposed chaos and destruction that awaited just beyond the atmosphere of this damned rock they were trapped on.
He hated that weak feeling. That powerlessness.
Maybe him and V were more alike than he originally thought or gave her credit for. Before, he saw her as nothing but a dirtgirl from the streets of Haywood who had somehow clawed her way into a comfortable position as a ruthless merc. Now, he was just seeing her, the person behind that mask.
And dammit, if he could sit there and listen to her talk about those stupid fucking stars all night.
"You know... I never liked the stars. Always made me feel like I was so damn insignificant. Pisses me off..."
"Everything pisses you off, Johnny." V rolled her eyes, not seemingly phased as he spoke to her with such a cold tone as he looked on in distaste, though his eyes kept flitting to the constellations she had pointed out earlier.
Orion and his loyal hunting dogs, huh?
"Ever think about that sort of thing?" He chimed in after a moment, looking up at her as he leaned his head against his arm, "About bein' elevated to the skies? Sounds like some bullshit Kerry Eurodyne lyric."
"My old choom..." V's face broke into a soft smile that barely ghosted her lips as she breathed out a sigh at this question, "He believed that was the case. Thought there was a great Afterlife for all the legends who went out in a blaze o' glory. Y'know, paradise, where you could meet all the greats and be recognized by them."
For once, the rockerboy chose not to speak, instead more fascinated where this story would go. The way she spoke about this old friend of hers, it became pretty evident to him that he more then likely wasn't around anymore and she clearly missed him. Maybe even regretted a thing or two. It was interesting to see this level of grief and remorse on a person like her.
"Never thought any of that was true," She tilted her head to the side as she chose her words, like she was searching her mind for her own thoughts and beliefs about such a massive topic. "Always thought it was lights out, y'know? Dark, quiet... Kinda like a forever nap that you never wake up from again. Probably the best damned sleep I'd ever get in my life, 'specially without you melting my brain outta my ears every chance you get."
The man snorted, shaking his head. "S'not me specifically, kid- You know that. Do I help by showin' up whenever I want? Probably not. But, I'm not tryin' to flatline you. Well, not anymore, anyway." He snickered at this thought, how she'd been so damn angry and scared when he first showed up in her apartment -and in turn her head- demanding she just man up and blow her brains out instead of taking the pills Vik had given her. "Had a change of heart, what can I say?"
"Such a goddamn honor, really." She grumbled sarcastically, shaking her head.
"Seems kinda terrifying to think about," He proposed after another moment between them. "Just sleepin' forever, all of your life just bein' ripped away from you. Trust me, I'd know. Like to say I'm a bit of an expert." He smirked, crossing his arms over his chest as he settled back against an old air shaft behind him, the metal scratching against the rough nylon of his vest as he pulled one knee to his chest, the other outstretched as he leaned his head back and sighed, closing his eyes.
"Scares the shit outta me." She nodded in agreement. "Can't come to grips with it all. Don't want this to be over, to have fought and clawed my way towards the top only for me to go out and this just be... It." She rested one hand behind her head, the other limply falling to the side, her knuckles scratching lightly against the rough tarmac of the roof tiles, her hand dangling between herself and Johnny. "Seems like such... Bullshit, y'know? But, I don't believe any God out there would create such a hellish place like NC... Especially if they're supposed to be all-knowing, all-seeing and all-loving."
"If there is a God, he's the fuckin' devil himself as well," That cynical tone held such a dry and bitter air to it as the words fell from his lips, shaking his head. "No way they're all-knowing, all-seeing, and all-loving... Specially not in this goddamned world they created." He then sighed, thinking for a moment.
He had been given a second chance of sorts with V, hadn't he?
Now that was a thought...
A second chance to relive everything that had been ripped away from him in the blink of an eye, everything that he had just.... Missed. That seemed like a more acceptable fate, to rinse and repeat, to get a fresh start each time. "Death doesn't have to be the end. Got all the tech in the world now where immortality is practically obtainable now if you're gonked enough to fall for Arasaka's bullshit marketing schemes and empty promises."
"Actually some religions do believe in that. Not immortality, but resurrection. Rebirth kinda. You get thrown into a different body, form or what have you, and have a second chance at life. And then your energy just keeps getting recycled, y'know? Over and over again, kinda like a constant restart on a computer simulation or something."
"Do you have an answer for literally everything I say, smartass kid?" Johnny grumbled, leaving her to give a genuine pop of laughter that made him smile ever-so-slightly.
That was what he had wanted. He wanted her to just loosen up for a second- this conversation had gotten pretty deep, pretty quickly; it was making his skin crawl just a bit. He was very passionate and solid in his beliefs; she spoke with such a warmth, it damn near almost made him uncomfortable.
"No, seriously. The Greeks? Believed that in The Underworld, there were different parts that people would be placed in depending on their acts in life. Elysium was the hero's rest, so to speak. After being reincarnated three times and living your life to the fullest, with such goodness in your actions and intentions, you will be put in the fields of paradise. The Fields of Asphodel were just empty fields filled with people who didn't make much of an impact, left to just wonder in... Nothingness. They weren't really bad, but they weren't remarkable or memorable either." She seemed to dislike this idea, and Johnny could practically hear the frown in her voice. "Finally, there was Tartarus, the very pits of hell themselves. Anyone banished here was left to just rot in damnation for the rest of their immortal days."
It was pretty interesting how the kid had all of that random knowledge just shoved up there in her head, the rockerboy mused, genuinely curious just how deep this rabbit hole of religious and astrological knowledge could go. But, he began to feel something at the corners of her mind, the conscious and body they shared weighing in on her- she was absolutely exhausted. She was probably going to head in soon.
"A place for the unremarkable, huh?" She nodded as he inquired this, sitting up with a stretch and a long and wide yawn that honestly made him tired just watching her, despite just being a collection of pixels that just had to feel through her.
"Pretty much. Seemed crueler than anything. Bein' punished for just wanting to keep your head down and survive?" She looked up at the stars again- they were just so bright that night. Normally clouds and light pollution smothered them from the city below...
But up here? She could see them so clearly.
When was the last time she had done this? Probably when she last camped out with the Aldecaldos in the desert of The Badlands, her head resting on Panam's shoulder while the warm swirl of shit bear warmed her insides from the freezing cold air that night as the dry sands and tumbleweeds blew by.
And before that?
...Well, she couldn't really remember a time before that.
And good God, Johnny really couldn't help but admire her like this. She looked like she was searching for something in that fried mess of chrome and meat she called a brain, probably the secrets to the whole goddamned universe for all he knew. And he really just noticed how... Soft she could be. How she chewed at her lower lip and nails when she was in thought, how her leg bounced from what he assumed was either anxiety or pent up energy to go out and do something... Anything.
The way her eyes seemed to shine with the brightness of those galaxies she was so damned fascinated with.
He suddenly came to a realization. He didn't want her to lose this; this curiosity and interest in the world around her, despite how cruel and demented it could be. He didn't want her to lose the way she looked at every new challenge like a puzzle to be solved, like a quick hack she was administering on some poor gonk that had crossed her the wrong way and ended up on her hit list.
She was still just a damned kid...
It wasn't fair, was it?
"Hey kid, I gotta know..." V turned her head to look at him, and for a moment, he swore he felt his heart ache. Suddenly that selfish want to take her body from her, to shred her entire life to pieces right before her eyes and use her own hands to tear down Arakasa tower brick by corpo-scum riddled brick melted away in the blink of an eye.
She looked so tired, like she had aged a good ten years just by sitting there and talking to him. 'This relic is really fucking her up good, isn't it?' he mused to himself.
"Yeah?"
"If there was any way you could live longer, would you take it?"
He expected her to nod. Anyone would be insane to say no.
Instead, she gave him an answer that aggravated him to no end, but he really couldn't understand just why he felt so frustrated by such an honest and real answer.
"Maybe... Maybe not." She chewed her lip in thought, gently pulling the skin away that had begun flaking in her lack of care with her teeth, her lips a bit chapped and now raw that she was doing this. This was a concerning habit they could address later, he reasoned with himself, even though his eyes focused on the action. "I would really just have to make that decision in the moment, I guess. Maybe by the time we get to the end of... Well... This," She shrugged finally, gesturing vaguely between herself and the collection of pixels in front of her shaped like the myth and legend himself, "I'll be content with letting go. Not so damned afraid of something I've just spent my entire life running away from."
"What if there was someone else who wanted you to live longer, then?"
There was a bit of a frustrated edge to his voice as he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes, lowering his head as he leaned forward on his knee with his free arm. It was clear that wasn't the answer he wanted and he was dreading the next, leaving her to raise an eyebrow at this reaction.
Why did he care so suddenly?
"Couldn't ask someone to die for me," She finally answered after a minute of mulling it over. "Already happened once before and I didn't even ask him to. And my guilt still eats me alive every day." It wasn't hard to imagine why she was facing survivor's guilt. Everyone on her team had been wiped out before her eyes in the span of twenty-four hours, one after the other. Even if Dex had been asking for it -that fucking bastard- it still never sat right with her that she had survived. Even if the relic had stopped the bullet in her head from causing too much damage, it was still... Almost surreal if she spent too much time thinking about it.
"My old choom- He had a girlfriend he was absolutely head over heels for, woulda done anything to make sure she was happy. Would have given her the goddamned world if she asked..." Her hands were now gripping the rooftop ledge, her knuckles practically turning white as her shoulders shook. She hadn't had much time to think about Jackie, not since his ofrenda or the odd one-off conversation with Misty when V would check in with her. This whole relic mess had just consumed so much of her life, it almost made her chest hurt when she realized this, a lump forming in her throat as she continued to speak so fondly of the man who had saved her life in more ways than one, without question or second thought. "Had a loving mother, and he was her pride and joy. Hell, the Valentinos still respected him even after he jumped ship and left. Every type of person imaginable was at that damned ofrenda, all from different walks of life. It felt so goddamned.... Unfair that all of that was ripped away from him. If anyone deserved that shit, it was Jackie."
It was odd to hear V speak with so much conviction about someone, and Johnny could tell as he mulled over her words that this person had really meant a lot to her, to the point that she didn't feel deserving of his sacrifice that he had made to let her keep going. For once, he felt a bit of guilt swell in his chest. Now it was his turn to strike a nerve in her, and it was unintentional for sure, and not what he expected at all. "Jackie... Bet he woulda done anything for you, huh, kid?"
"Got me off the streets, got me gigs... Helped me get this goddamned apartment, for fuck's sake; he was there every step of the way. Always put himself in the line of fire for me on jobs that went to shit. Always stepped up first when there was a fire fight." She couldn't meet his eyes, trying to fight the swelling of emotion in her chest. "Our first time interacting, he ripped me outta some corpo-shit's car I was stealing with a gun to my goddamned head. Cops rolled up on us, beat the ever loving shit outta us and threw us out on the streets. Wanna know what Jack did after that show?"
"Hm?"
"Invited me to lunch." She was laughing now, her eyes welling with tears as they rolled down her cheeks and fell into her lap as she looked at him. She was forcing a smile, Johnny could tell. She didn't want to allow herself to be sad. It was the tradition of an ofrenda to be used to honor someone's life, not mourn their passing and become sad or distraught when their memory came up. "Mama Wells took me in like one of her own, let me live under her roof... Chided over me like I was her own flesh and blood. Cursed us out when we came home from jobs beat to hell, then hugged us and demand we let her feed us." She was so close to crying now, to completely sobbing and breaking down in front of him. Johnny could hear that swelling of emotion in her voice, the way her words trembled and cracked.
Shit.
"Damn emotional kid," Johnny grumbled as he reached forward, resting a hand on her head as he stood, raising an eyebrow. "You're a goddamned mess, ain't ya?"
V just looked away, but Johnny didn't allow her to, turning her head back to face him as he gripped her chin, using the thumb of his free hand to dry her tears a bit roughly, making the younger merc squeeze her eyes shut as his calloused skin rubbed across her face and pushed the streams of emotion away. "Nothin' wrong with cryin'. Nothin' wrong with gettin' emotional, okay?" He was trying to be comforting, and he realized he must have been doing something right because he watched as V's shoulders dropped a bit, relaxing a fraction of a degree. "You're allowed to be sad, alright? Makes ya human, V. That's the one thing this shit stain of a city is good at ripping away from people besides their sanity- Their goddamned humanity." He paused for a moment, not really knowing what to say in that moment, but forcing himself to speak anyway. "But, don't you dare feel guilt for something someone did for you because they gave a shit about you."
His gaze and tone would become a bit more stern, but that same slight spark of care glistened beneath his aviators. "Don't you ever take that shit for granted, you hear me?" He watched as she nodded and he took a step back, his arms folded over his chest as he stared down at her. "Plenty of people are willin' to put a bullet in your head without blinking... Willin' to stab you right between the goddamned shoulder blades just because they could and they fucking wanted to. But, someone willing to stand up and die for you? That's a real level of respect. Jackie musta seen somethin' great in you, and y'know what, V?" He let a slight smile pull at his lips, curling at the corners of his mouth slightly, "I'm starting to see it, too."
He didn't know why he felt personally responsible for her comfort, for making her feel better in such a moment, but something in the back of his mind just itched at him, telling him to step up and stop being such a damned prick for once.
And as the two stood together in silence while he stared down at V, letting his eyes roam over her in the pale moonlight as she sniffled and dried her eyes with the heels of her hands, he had a single moment of clarity.
It was a sudden realization what that itching emotion had been, and it made his stomach drop a bit. He realized he actually was starting to care for this little shit.
This brat, this pain in the ass...
And that frustrated him more than anything.