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That anger... That burning anger.
The merc and her engram now stood on the pier in Night City, the waters choppy below them as the sun cast warm rays over V. But, it was too damned hot. Looking out across the water, Arasaka's large corporate building loomed over them, casting a dark shadow that stretched over the city, blanketing it in a strange and ominous darkness. While she was leaned against the guard rail, Johnny's hands gripped the metal bar until his knuckles were bone-white, the skin seemingly straining and making the scars and ragged edges of his arms more prominent, his muscles flexing and rippling with his rage.
V could feel that anger constricting her chest, making it almost impossible for her to breathe, her body shuddering.
The bitter feelings seared at her very soul, baring down on her in a punishing tidal wave of hatred. Johnny was only focused on one thing in the moment, however, as he was left to his own thoughts, something that had proven to be a bit of a problem for the poor shell of a body he was forced to inhabit for the time being with her.
Revenge.
He wanted to personally be the one that destroyed that damn soul-sucking corporation, to rip that tower to shreds with his own hands. It was something he had wanted fifty years ago, and it was a grudge he carried with him, even in death... Or, well, more specifically, this strange un-death state he had unwillingly found himself in.
"Fuck..." V practically gasped, her breath coming out in short and ragged bursts as she tried desperately to suck air into her screaming lungs. She felt like she had been running for hours, her fingers beginning to tremble and shake.
Those thoughts... Those memories. She could see them from Johnny's mind as it bled into her, the snapshots from his life that constantly slapped her in the face when she least expected it. She looked over at his engram, wanting to reach out and console him, to comfort him... Something. Something to get these damned memories and feelings to stop their brutal assault on her. She pushed herself from the guard rail to face him, her hip now digging into the cold metal as she used it as a crutch to stand. His eyes never once faltered from the tower in front of them, the distance marred by the rather gross and polluted waters below them.
"Johnny... Please."
Her words did nothing. He didn't even seem to hear her, unable to tear his eyes away from that one burning pyre; it was a testament to the corporate greed, the crumbling of the city around them. Their silent promise to continue digging their claws into the violence and graffiti riddled streets as they dug their claws in like a ravenous and wild animal, bleeding the very foundation of this place dry as they tore away at it until there was nothing left. No resources, no land, no hope for the people of Night City... Nothing.
He was blinded to the world around him, his vision almost blacking out around the edges as the tunnel vision kicked in.
This had started after he had seen the new tower and asked V about it, knowing that the massive building had taken enough of a hit that it should have toppled and crashed to the ground. He remembered his view on the stretcher as he looked up, the dark and choking smoke that rose into the star speckled sky, the wicked orange and yellow flames that licked out of the darkened windows and granite structure, climbing to the roof at an almost alarming pace. He remembered just how damn cold it had been that night, his broken and bloody body left shivering and trembling as his blood stained the snow white sheet beneath him a deep crimson. That was his sacrifice for his cause, that rich blood that poured from his shoulder, his chest, his mouth and nose... And that sacrifice, seemingly, had been wasted.
It was like the whole damned world was mocking him, especially that stupid fucking tower.
V had explained to him that they reconstructed the structure, how it had rose from the ashes as the company's cheer to it's victory over it's enemies, like some fucked up phoenix with the flames licking at it's feathered body as it rose to the sky. She was snarky as she spoke, clearly finding distaste in this, but that had done nothing to lighten the mood or stop him from being locked in this monumental meltdown that she was now facing the brunt of, experiencing such a burning rage in her already deteriorating body that she had never felt in her life.
Arasaka.
That had been Johnny's hang up since he had shown up in her life, and it would probably damn near tear them apart, V couldn't help but bitterly muse.
"Johnny," The merc grit her teeth as she tried to speak again, stumbling a bit as she reached out a hand to touch his shoulder, giving him a little shove to try and just snap him out of this, "Know you're mad. Fuck, I know you're mad, but please..."
The engram shrugged her hand off of him, swiping his arm out forcefully like he was batting at an annoying pest, knocking her down onto the ground with a startled cry before his hand returned to the pier guard rail, the metal practically creaking underneath the force that he gripped it under. Blood rushed to V's ears as her hands scrapped roughly against the wood of the old dock, her shoulders shaking as she looked up at him.
She expected some speech, some rambling tirade; Johnny really seemed to like hearing himself talk after all. Instead, he was just standing there in menacing silence, and it was almost deafening. His eyes narrowed underneath his aviators, his jaw flexing and gnashing at his teeth, his lips drawn into a cold sneer.
Even when he had loomed over her after she first woke up with his engram floating around her, battering her around her apartment like some fucked up cat and mouse game before he had ultimately caused her to black out after making her slam her own head against the freezing glass of her window... Even as he had gotten into her face and yelled at her, his words of anarchy and chaos rushing over her face in a hot and acrid blast... She had never seen this kind of anger on him; the silent, fully resentful type of bitterness that made a chill run down her spine.
It was absolutely terrifying.
She tried to push herself back up, wanting to shake some sense into him, to deck him in the face, to do something that would stop this assault on all of her processors, but she was only able to make it to her knees, her hand gripping her chest as the other braced against the splintering and worn wood of the pier dock. It was like her lungs were being squeezed so forcefully, all she could do was wheeze and choke. Those purple glitches and static filled her vision as a familiar notification popped up before her eyes, that same warning box that always signaled another fit of spazzing that always left her a step closer to her own demise-
Relic Malfunction Detected.
She hated those words with every fiber of her being, and right now, feeling his resentment on full blast like this, V wanted to reach up and rip the damn chip out of her head. Shaking fingers moved to her shard slot, shaking fingers pressing against the relic's spot snuggly tucked into her neural port, but she didn't have the strength. She couldn't press down to free the damn thing as her hand fell forward again onto the ground, her body lurching as she began coughing up blood, that terrible metallic taste blooming over her tastebuds and making her wince. Dots of crimson spattered before her, her vision blurring from tears as full-fledge chokes left her quaking like her entire world was about to fall apart and crumble then and there.
Good god, did it hurt.
She felt herself slipping, the dark void of unconsciousness beginning to swallow her whole. As her body collapsed with a dull and heavy 'thud', Johnny finally looked over at the younger girl, watching her twitch and spasm, static filling those eyes of hers as her own blood slipped from her lips and tears stained her cheeks. As her vision began to fade, she could see his boots turning towards her, long strides closing the space between them before she passed out with a choked gasp.
He crouched next to her, rough hands gripping her face as he lifted her head, patting her cheeks to try and get her to snap out of the void-like state her brain was now in. "V... V! C'mon, kid, look at me!"
He actually sounded a bit worried, running his fingers through her hair as he tried so hard to wake her up.
It would be moments later before she was able to take hold of her own body again, her vision blurry as she looked up at Johnny looming over her. He had moved her from her side to her back, letting the cool breeze from the canal below them and the warm sun wash over her face. She coughed, she spluttered, she groaned. Her head felt heavy, like it was stuffed with cotton. It was almost like she had experianced a second-hand rage blackout, and now her muscles just burned and screamed at her, leaving her to just feel so damn tired. The rage had subsided, finally allowing her a moment to breathe and she gulped down air like her life depended on it.
"Christ, scared the fuck outta me, kid," Johnny's hand was on her as she sat up, his grip bruising on her shoulder as she winced. "What happened?"
"Dunno... Relic decided to shit itself, I guess." She took a moment to gain her barrings, shaking her head. "You're one bitter motherfucker, aren't ya?"
He pursed his lips in annoyance, but somehow kept himself in check, just nodding his head. He didn't need her passing out on him again. There was nothing he could do to help her if she was out cold on the ground.
"It was too much, wasn't it?" He finally spoke, leaving her to nod and look at him with some wary consideration.
She finally reached a hand out, resting it on his shoulder as she looked at him. "S'not ripping down a mega corp with your bare hands, but you wanna know what I do when I'm angry?"
"What?" Johnny raised an eyebrow, watching as she stumbled to her feet, rising with her in case she tapped out on him again, "What do you do?"
"C'mon." She waved him along, beginning to walk down the bustling and loud streets of Night City, hands in her pockets as she gently shouldered past people that swirled around her. She seemed pretty dead set on something, but Johnny really had no clue where this kid was taking them. He could still feel his anger licking at the back of his mind, but for her sake, he pushed it down, not wanting her to lose her mind on the sidewalks in plain view of these gonks that wouldn't understand what was wrong with her and just labeled her as another cyberpsycho.
That was the last thing they needed, he mused.
They would soon arrive at an old abandoned junk yard, a grave for unwanted cars and other junk left to slowly rot and rust away. She climbed up the fence and dropped down on the other side with a thudding of her old beat combat boots, hands on her hips as she observed the space in front of her, just taking it in for a moment as she scanned the area, making sure it was truly abandoned.
"If this is the part where you start downing some Smash or crushin' some Blue Glass, let me have a front row seat. Seems like that would be entertaining to watch." The rockerboy's voice was cynical and bitter in her ears, his engram shimmering and shuddering into view as he leaned against an old power station, smoking a cigarette as she looked around. This left her to roll her eyes, shaking her head.
"No, you gonky old bastard, I'm not about to lose my shit on drugs. Though this does seem an appropriate place for some tweeker or psycho to hide out in, huh?" She turned to face Johnny, an unamused look on her face. "Nah, smashin' shit helps whenever I'm ready to lose my mind. I could smash the place up for you."
"As a testament for your love to me?" The engram sneered as he flicked his cigarette aside, popping out of view for a few seconds before reappearing in front of her, toned and inked arms crossed over his broad chest as he raised an eyebrow, his aviators flashing menacingly. "Finally startin' to tear Night City apart piece by piece? I'm flattered, really."
V groaned, her eyes rolling as her head fell back for a moment before she looked back at him again. "No, you jackass. To get rid of some of that anger before you flatline me."
He was silent for a moment, considering her answer for a second as he turned his head to take in the heaps of twisted metal in piles around them, old metal barrels stuffed with odds and ends parts of God knows what.
"Sounds kinda... Nice, I guess." He finally conceded with a shrug, looking back at her.
She smirked devilishly, moving away from him to step up to a pile of scrap, plucking out an old baseball bat, giving it a few testing swings to test the sturdiness of it. "Go on, get angry. I'll handle it from here." She turned back to him, the bat resting on her shoulders.
"If you say so, kid..." He grit his teeth for a moment, searching for that same burning anger he had felt before, and soon his rage was boiling inside of him, crawling under his skin, damn near igniting every nerve in his body. He could feel the building wildfire of swirling emotions licking at his fingers, dancing in his eyes.
Smash. Destroy. Tear it all to the fucking ground.
V felt it too, and for a split second, fear pierced through her heart. It was still unsettling to feel someone else's emotions like this- so intimately that they were your own. No matter how many times it happened, it was still jarring and unsettling, but she quickly pushed this aside, opting to just let it flow through her, take hold of her heart and settle her face in a twisted snarl of pain and resentment. She began to tear the place apart, driving the bat in her hands through old junker windows, denting hoods and doors, smashing everything in sight. Bottles would be kicked and thrown, shattering in a sparkling mine field of shards and a testament to the ghost of a man long passed. Nothing would be left standing or in one piece as the joined rage of herself and Johnny overtook her.
And suddenly, their thoughts would bleed together, their memories slamming violently into one joined mind.
Smasher.
Jackie.
Johnny's death.
Her own.
She was an amalgamation of the two of them, the legend of Night City bleeding into her very core as his engram had long vanished, her limbs becoming his own, their shared body in a thrashing and chaotic tornado of destruction. V's throat was tight as she loosed a guttural scream, the relic glitching as, for the first time in awhile, she and Johnny became one.
Without the help of the pills Misty had given her.
Without being locked in that odd dream-like space they would often find themselves in at night while the merc tried so hard to find sweet relief of sleep.
They were just two lost souls, two pain-filled beings that had finally crashed into one another.
After a moment, Johnny would notice she was... Crying. She was sobbing even, not trying to hide it, not trying to shield her face from him; screaming in absolute frustration as she dropped the bat and sunk her fist through the one unbroken window that had somehow survived her fury until right that second before collapsing against it, her back roughly slamming against the dented and rusted door as she slammed her head back and screamed again, damn near until her vocal chords felt like they would shred beneath the strain of the raw power of her voice.
His engram would collapse next to her, sitting himself up against the car as well, looking over at her as his chest heaved and his shoulders shook. He watched as she pulled her knees to her chest, now sobbing into her thighs as she crossed her arms to hide her head, her nails digging into her flesh. Burning red welts began to form as she dragged her nails against her biceps, leaving long and painful lines as she clawed at her flesh, the sensation ripping through her body like a serrated blade.
"Fuck," She whimpered before she raised her head, still panting before her leg snapped out and kicked the bat in front of her, sending the metal tube skittering across the dirt in a cloud of dust. "Fuck!" She belted out again before leaning her head back, closing her eyes as she panted.
Johnny was just as spent as she was, and reaching up a hand, he discovered that he too felt tears wetting his face, his eyes stinging from the amount of dust she had kicked up. For such a small girl, she had the strength of a damn psycho when she was angry. The two would pull away from each other subconsciously, finally splitting them back into their respective minds as he gulped down air, overwhelmed and tired. "Fuuuuuck..." He groaned softly, reaching a hand up to remove his aviators and dig the heel of his hand into his eyes, shaking his head. He then suddenly balled his fist and punched the ground, his fist digging into the earth as he let out an explosion of some pretty creative curses and swears.
However, once the rage died down, all that was left was a strange sensation of... Peace that flowed through her, and she knew Johnny could feel it too as she looked over to see him untense and his breathing return to normal. She would close her eyes again and finally... Finally she could breathe again.
"Fuck..." She muttered, almost like a silent agreement to the loud curses that had just spilled from him and the tired state they were now both left in. Though it took him a moment, Johnny could feel the smothering comfort of the tranquility that emanated from V, looking around at the destruction they had just caused together.
"Damn kid," He muttered, returning his beloved shades to his face, pushing them upwards onto the bridge of his nose, "Got some pipes on you. A helluva arm too."
She gave an amused exhale through her nose at this comment, shrugging. "Got some new chrome. Figured it would be a fun way to test it out." They would settle into silence again, but this time it would be comfortable; there was no expectation for either of them to speak or do anything. They just took a couple moments to survey the destroyed junk yard, and Johnny couldn't help but feel a spark of newfound appreciation for this girl. She really knew how to tear it up if she wanted to. He almost wondered what it would be like to have her at a show when his band was instilling riots before Arasaka tower, and he couldn't help but find amusement in her chucking a flair into some poor bastard of a Saka suit that had threatened her with a raid shield and an electric baton to her skull.
She looked down at her hand, watching her fingers as they trembled and shook from the come down of her adrenaline rush, watching the blood as it seeped from her busted and bruised knuckles with a sigh. "Been doin' this for years. Granted, haven't been that damn angry, well... Ever. But, I've found this a good way to blow off some steam."
"Y'know what I do to blow off some steam?" Johnny's voice held a teasing lit to it as his hands would raise to grab the hips of an imaginary body hovering over him, thrusting upwards as he gave an over-exaggerated and showy moan of satisfaction, leaving V to roll her eyes and her hands to reach out and shove him away from her.
"Yeah, seen your memories. They're fuckin' gross."
"Just 'cause you don't got the impressive cock of Johnny Silverhand, don't mean you gotta be so jealous and pushy." He snorted, his engram swaying a bit at the force which she shoved him as he gave her a returning jab to the ribcage with his elbow. "Damn kid."
He folded his hands over his stomach and stretched out his legs as he watched V stand and flick out her arms and legs as she paced in a tight little circle in front of him, trying to relieve some of the soreness that now crept into her limbs. "Never thought I could feel this damn calm after goin' into a rage like that." He shrugged dismissively, "That shit just always stuck to me, breathin' down my neck."
"Felt that way for awhile, too... 'Specially after Jackie died. Felt like it was my fault. Shit, it was my fault in a way, I guess." The larger man watched as she threaded her fingers and stretched her arms upwards to the sky, her body bending at the hips to the left, and then to the right as she stretched. "But, always feel pretty good after doin' this."
"You feel better after doin' this?" He asked as he rose to his feet, his arms now crossed over his chest as he leaned back against the car's hood for support.
"Mhm. You?"
"Yeah. I feel... Calm. Hell, still don't understand it." Johnny actually chuckled a bit, shaking his head. "I didn't think I could be this...Relaxed."
"I didn't understand it either." V now stood looking up at him, hands on her hips as she tilted her head to the side, studying him for a moment with a level gaze. "Think the reason it helps is because you're just so exhausted after, y'know? But it's a good kind of exhaustion. Like, you just tore something to shreds, you can physically feel the damage, see that you actually did something... You were able to control that anger, and channel it." She shrugged, "Think that's why a lot of people get angry. Because we can't control everything. Can't physically just rip something apart in the moment and destroy everything."
"You're right on with the exhausted part. I could honestly go for some sleep right about now."
V smirked, "That's the smartest thing you've said since you've popped into my head, honestly."
She would return to her apartment after dragging her shambling and spent body down the streets of the city, and found herself in her bathroom patching up her hand, disinfecting the open wounds before wrapping her hand in gauze as Johnny's engram watched behind her, leaned against the wall as his reflection danced in the mirror in front of her. "You alright?"
"Yeah, this happens sometimes. Sometimes the pain is what shocks me out of a shit fit like that." She turned with her back to the mirror, now leaning against the sink as her hand gripped the counter. "Y'know, I'd offer you a drink, but I guess I can't really do that, huh?"
"You cruel bitch," The rockerboy sneered, though it was clear he was just playing along with her spiteful observation, narrowing his eyes at her, "Don't gotta rub that shit in now."
V just laughed at this, shaking her head as she pushed away from the counter and wandered into the single room apartment. She dug around in her wardrobe, finding something more comfortable to wear before crossing to her booze stash. She decided in the moment, she would mix up Johnny's signature drink- almost like a peace treaty between them and a sign of respect after they had shared such a powerful and vulnerable moment together like that. When she turned, he was leaning against the wall near the little cubby that would house her bed, lighting up a cigarette before his eyes would land on her. His shades were tucked into his vest, his dark and stormy eyes now focused on her fully. He noted the drink in her hand, cocking a brow. "Since when do you like drinking the Silverhand special?" He chuckled, looking amused at this.
"Oh shut the fuck up," She groaned, "Felt appropriate, okay? Know a lot of people raise toasts to you, and I kinda wanted to."
"A toast to little ol' me? Wow, V, I feel so honored."
"I can always just dump it out if you're going to be a prick."
"Don't you dare waste top shelf alcohol around me kid, I'll turn your days into a living hell."
V snorted at this, "They already are a livin' hell, considering you're on my ass hall the damned time." She raised the glass towards him, giving him an acknowledging little nod, "To smashin' shit..." It was a very odd toast, but a strangely fitting one.
"To smashin'..." He paused for a moment, mulling over his words before he continued, ""To smashin' every damn corp, every corporation that wants to rob the people of their freedom, of their right to just live." He smirked a bit as he watched V raise the glass to her lips with a hum. "To you and to me, the only people in this damn city that give a shit enough to do something about this."
That last bit hit her with a swell of emotion as she took a sip of her drink, chuckling under her breath. "Hell, s'better than mine. I'll drink to that." She took another sip of her drink and finished it off, feeling the warmth swelling in her throat and chest as the mix of vodka and beer slipped into her stomach, followed by the tangy and burning of the chili stuck along the rim of the glass, complimented by the acidic tang of the lime juice it clung to. She had to admit, it wasn't too bad of a combination of booze. She had expected worse. She then set the glass aside and yawned, crawling into bed as she looked on to see Johnny still leaning against the nearby wall, continuing to smoke as he stared into the darkening space of her apartment.
"G'night, Johnny."
"Good night, V." He took another drag from his cigarette, and there was just the slightest bit of a smile on his face, curling at the edges of his lips as he sighed and shook his head.
Damn kid...
He finished off his cigarette, flicking it to the ground and stomping it underneath his boot as his engram flickered and then vanished, leaving the apartment to settle into silence save for V's soft breathing as she finally felt that heavy blanket of sleep pull her under.