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It was essentially genius on his own part.
Three parties involved, all three happy, and he got to be the one who gave pretty boy himself the best present because…well, he was the best.
It didn’t matter much if Deku repeatedly told him that it wasn't a competition (because it so clearly was and he was probably just jealous that his gift wasn’t as well thought out as his own was), and it didn’t matter that technically speaking he was somewhat, kind of, ever so slightly right. Because, if it wasn’t obvious already, he had won either way.
Winning when there wasn’t even a competition seemed more impressive to him anyway, so whatever.
“You know, there really is nothing better than your silence after I do something nice for you” he said sarcastically, though even he could hear that the bite he had had in his words for the better half of the first year they had known each other, had vanished entirely. There was that, but also the fact that he couldn’t stop grinning, genuinely proud of himself for thinking of bringing him there, which probably reassured Shouto that he wasn’t being a dick.
There was the cat cafe he had rented out over the mid-afternoon with his first Christmas and New Year's bonus he got from Best Jeanists and his agency (he refused to call it the Genius office. It was not happening). It had been a relatively handsome sum too, especially for a first-timer, so he wasn’t gonna complain.
“I-” Shouto started, his mouth hanging slightly open for probably the third minute in a row as he stared up at the cutesy sign with the fat, round cartoon cats on it. “You did this for me?” he asked almost quietly like he couldn’t believe it. The corner of his lips twitched up when he asked, and that pretty much declared his victory.
Deku could suck it.
“Duh,” he said, and because he couldn’t help himself, he added, “I mean you’re always risking your job to pet them while on patrol so I figured why not let you get it out of your system before that”
Bickering with Shouto had been a highlight of his day, honestly. Before and after they got together.
That might have just been because this was apparently Katsuki's weird way of showing his affections though. He hadn’t realized he was doing it until he had been called out by Uraraka one day, who had grinned at him all annoyingly and then did the same to a far more clueless Shouto who had just stared back at them both in confusion.
It didn’t even matter to him if it was weird anymore or not since whatever he did- however he had flirted - it had worked wonders and the other had eaten it up.
“I don’t pet them when I know there’s danger around” he countered, which…was a stupid point because it wasn’t like the bad guys would pop up and announce that in ten minutes or so they would unleash an attack, but he decided to let that go. Everything for the birthday boy and all.
“Right. Right. I’ll keep that in mind when I gotta hire you as a secretary or something at my agency whenever I start it because you can’t find a job anywhere else”
“A secretary?” he asked and laughed quietly. “Maybe I’d like to be a secretary elsewhere. Why would I work for you?” he then asked, arms crossing over his chest and Katsuki loved how he would always play along, no matter how dumb this shit got.
“Because I’d let you keep a cat on your desk. You can even call it Soba. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still a dumb name and I’d feel sorry for the thing but I could make exceptions” Katsuki replied then looked away when his smile seemed to be getting too big and too dumb for his own face.
He had looked like an idiot in front of Shouto a hundred- no, a thousand times before, but when he was trying his best to look cool for him, it wasn’t the best timing.
“You’d be a cute one though, in your little secretary suit”
“I am taller than you are. It would hardly be a little suit”
“Oh, shut up, no one wants your stupid logic. You’re not even that much taller than me anyway. You never have been” he huffed back and Shouto straightened his stance a bit, looking to be a mere few centimeters taller than him. At least he did until Katsuki kicked his leg lightly. “But it would have to be little. Definitely tighter than your regular clothes”
“This is starting to sound like you just want to ogle me” he replied, still laughing softly and also giving Katsuki butterflies in his stomach without even knowing it probably.
“That’s part of it” he admitted, shamelessly (Shouto was pretty to look at, screw him for wanting to look). “It’s not like I’d be able to do much else since our relationship would have to be all hush-hush because of the power dynamic”
“Oh? In that case, I could expose you, take over your agency, and then hire you as my secretary. That would kind of bring some sort of balance to it, I think”
“There’s a flaw in your plan, genius. Balanced or not we still have the same problem of being forced to meet in janitor closets and empty meeting rooms”
Shouto laughed again at that.
“Replace the empty meeting rooms with empty classrooms and it would be like we’re back at UA, so I think we could do it” he hummed and it was Katsuki's turn to laugh.
Then, because they couldn’t just stand out there forever (They could but the present would expire by then), he nodded towards the building they were supposed to be inside about ten minutes ago and gestured for him to walk.
“There are a couple of attention-seeking cats in there who are wondering where you are, so we should move this along and get inside instead of spending the whole afternoon talking roleplay scenarios” he snickered, reaching over and promptly shoving him lightly towards the doors.
“We should write this one down though. It wasn’t all that bad. I think it could be fun, sir, ” Shouto said with his rare-with-others-not-so-much-so-with-Katsuki shit-eating grin before he paused for just a moment. “I know you’re not the biggest fan of cats…Are you going to be okay in there for…however long this is?”
He wouldn’t escape unscratched, probably.
There hadn’t been a single cat out there that liked him, let alone tolerated him, so he was pretty sure that by the end of his gift to his boyfriend, he’d have to dress about twenty thousand little scratches and bites.
“You got the place for two hours before we gotta get to the dinner that your nerd friends are hosting. And for the record, I don’t not like cats. The shitheads are ones who don’t like me” he replied and then waved the concern off because he was old enough to know damn well it would be fine at the end of the day. Also giving Shouto the chance to actually sit there and bond with the cats without being swarmed by his army of fans was all too worth it. “If one day I lose to a bunch of cats, you might actually just have to kill me because I’d be too ashamed to show my face,” he added and then walked promptly ahead of him, grabbing the handle of the door and pulled it open.
“They’re your nerd friends too” Shouto replied though still looked a little uncertain about entering.
“If you don’t walk in, the cats are gonna see me first and like me more, and then you’re gonna be the one swatted at. First impressions are important you know”
“Well…that’s true… You left quite the impression when we met with your yelling and cursing and cute but admittedly loud profanities right in my face”
“Just get your ass inside, dumbass. Oh my god, never bring up the past again” he snorted and grinned at the way Shouto hid his smile with a nod as he walked past him and into the cafe. “One day you’re gonna get your head hit so hard you won’t have any of this material to make fun of me anymore and then we’ll see”
“The impression was so strong I think it would be difficult to forget even then. You were weirdly obsessed with grabbing the collar of my shirt…and my tie too. Sometimes even both…I should have noticed sooner that you just really wanted to kiss me”
“Just walk!”
✦ . ⁺ /ᐠ - ˕ -マ ⁺ . ✦
He did end up getting scratched.
Twice by the same hellspawn at that, who seemed to think of Shouto as its territory and refused to let Katsuki get any closer than a meter to him. If he did, the thing would hiss and flick its tail to indicate its irritation with him before he quickly left Shouto’s lap and swatted Katsuki's thigh before returning to said lap and plopping down like a sack of potatoes.
Shouto thought it all hilarious obviously, at least until blood was drawn and he scolded the cat.
Gently, but a scold was a scold and because he was also some sort of Disney princess, it listened to him. At least until he left for the bathroom and left Katsuki alone to deal with the army of them.
Genuinely speaking, they weren’t half as bad as Katsuki expected.
Most were even well-behaved, just happy to be spoiled rotten by a walking hot pack and curling up next to his left side for as long as they could. Or until Shouto baby talked them into standing up and bumping their heads against his face so he could deal out as many kisses to them as possible.
Of course, he wanted some too, except the self-appointed guardian of his boyfriend had been watching him like a hawk, and purely because he didn’t want to cause him (Shouto, not the cat) any more distress about the situation or…be seen fighting with a stupid cat, he held back.
If it came down to it, he could probably win anyway so…
Either way, despite having been forced to sit back for most of the time, he did get a lot of good things out of it.
Like he said, three parties, all happy.
Shouto got his time with the cats, the cafe got the advertisement they secretly wanted, and Katsuki got to win the gift-giving competition that wasn’t a competition but absolutely was, and also a full camera roll of Shouto grinning so stupidly it made him want to do flips and maybe also eat his phone because he couldn’t handle it.
“This was really fun, Katsuki. Thank you” Shouto said once the two of them were officially vacuumed and had no more cat fur on them. Well…Shouto had been the one vacuumed and Katsuki had been the one getting first aid.
“I can’t believe you haven’t been here before. That cat was way too protective of you to have just met you once” he declared, shaking his head a bit to himself. He was about to shove the injured hand (also somewhat injured pride) into his pocket, though before he managed to do so, the other grabbed it. Then he placed a few kisses around the bandaid and smiled at him. “I can’t believe you haven't been to a cat cafe either. And here I thought you were some hardcore fan” he said because despite it all, he still had a cool guy front to put up and cool guys did not get flustered.
God, did he sound like a loser.
“I never really knew this was a thing,” he admitted. “Hitoshi told me about it a few days ago. He said this was a nice place. You two seem to have similar tastes when it comes to cat cafes”
And that-
Well, that…
He had a confession to make.
While he and his genius did come up with the general idea to bring Shouto to a cat cafe, he hadn’t actually ever been to one either, and so didn’t know which one would be the best one.
Reviews had pointed him to several different ones, all of which had looked good and seemed good and all but hadn’t really clicked with him as the perfect one . And he really needed it to be perfect. Because Shouto deserved nothing short of perfect.
He had hated every moment of talking to the other guy to get to where he was.
Of watching the smug bastard grin at him like the goddamn Cheshire Cat when he had gone to him to ask for advice. And of course, because he was the bastard amongst bastards, he refused to let it go though he eventually did help and they had ended up there.
The cafe hadn’t even popped up when he searched for ‘cat cafe’ generally and was, as Shinsou described it, a hidden gem.
A painful experience, but much like scratching, entirely worth it if it was for him.
“He might have…nudged me in this-…this general direction”
“Is that why he was so-” Shouto’s face twisted into the (evil) grin Shinsou had flashed at him when they passed in the supermarket the other day and…it was kind of funny seeing it on his face. “-when we saw him?” he asked, and then his own lightbulb went off over his head. “Oh…that’s why he was hinting so much, '' he mumbled.
“So now you know the shit I went through to get us here” he muttered and Shouto snorted, glancing away briefly before he bumped him with his shoulder as they walked.
“You like me that much?”
“You think I’d go to him if I didn’t?”
“No, you definitely wouldn't,” he laughed again.
“Next time I’m just gonna visit every single one I find. Rather that than dealing with him ever again”
“Oh, Hitoshi isn’t that bad,” Shouto said, and probably upon hearing how ridiculous his own words were, he grimaced in that adorable way where his nose scrunched up just so slightly, and his eyes narrowed the same amount. “He’s not that bad to me ”
“Yeah, well, you cat people get along well,” he said then shook his head a bit again. “Anyway, I got a cooler, better, and one hundred percent me and only me gift back at my apartment, so we’re gonna have to go there after the party…If you’re free obviously. Won’t take long”
“Another one? You didn’t have to do-”
“It’s a cake”
There was silence for a moment before he heard a quiet hum of acknowledgment from his side and saw him nodding in the corner of his eye.
“You’re way too easy to convince sometimes”
“You’re a good baker. Am I just supposed to ignore a good cake? Don’t be foolish, Katsuki”
“It’s also a cat-shaped cake”
There was silence again but this time Shouto had turned to stare at him like he was trying to figure out if he was lying or not. Then he looked determined to get time to move like he wanted it to.
“This dinner party cannot be over soon enough” he mumbled, genuinely looking somewhat distressed about it and Katsuki snorted at him.
“You’re gonna make your best friend cry y’know?” he informed him, still grinning. “Relax, I put it in the fridge before I left. It’s still gonna be there when we get there”
“If you say so…” Shouto mumbled and then waited a bit before he said, “Izuku would understand if it’s a cat-shaped cake, by the way”
“Mhm-hmm. Sure” he replied, and because the image of the nerd crying was already in his head and it seemed like he would do it no matter what anyway, he didn’t exactly think he was exactly wrong. “I have one more thing to give. It’s less…uh- cat-shaped”
“Katsuki, the cafe alone is enough. Even if we hadn’t done this and just lazed around at one of our places, I’d have enjoyed it. I just wanted to spend my birthday with you” he said and he was cute thinking Katsuki wouldn’t bend over backwards to get him whatever he wanted no matter what. “Less cat-shaped?” he then asked when curiosity undoubtedly got the better of him.
“Yeah,” he said. “It's more key-shaped actually”
“Key-shaped” he repeated.
“Mhm. Your lease is coming to an end and you haven’t renewed it yet, right? So…I figured, today’s as good as any day to ask if you wanted to move in. Officially. Since you already have like half your things there” he said, and just in case he hadn’t sold it enough he cleared his throat and fished out a key from his pocket.
Honestly, it was the most hideous key he had ever seen.
It was probably something one would give to a toddler so they wouldn’t want to lose it because of the fun design but this was what needed to be done.
“It’s got a cat on it too” he mumbled, showing off the key with the slightly wonky-looking cat displayed. “Also my kitchen is better than your kitchen…so…” he said. “If you don’t wanna live there, then we could probably find something else but my place is closer to work for both of us, and uh- the cat cafe too”
Shouto had stopped walking by now, only staring at him for a second before his lips curled into a highly amused smile.
“Are you…trying to win me over by putting cats in front of me?” he asked and he had hit the nail right on its head, even if it was a little obvious. “You are,” he said, and the words bubbled out in a mix with his laughter.
“You have the taste of a kindergartner. I basically had to”
Shouto laughed a little harder and just like that reached over and grabbed the key.
“For the record…Even if it didn’t have this adorable cat on it, I’d still say yes” he hummed. “I was hoping you’d ask actually. My landlord has been really pushing for a response on the lease and I’ve sort of been dragging it out” he hummed, looking at the thing like Katsuki had just handed him a diamond or something.
“Oh my god, I’m in love with an idiot,” he said though he was, at this point, also laughing to himself about the whole thing. Mainly because Shouto’s laugh was infectious.
“Idiot or not…You really made this day special” he said softly once the laughter died down and Katsuki felt his ego swell and most likely triple in size which…really wasn’t good for anyone but himself. “Thank you”
“Even if I made everything cat-themed?”
“Especially because you made everything cat themed” Shouto said, then he bumped into him again lightly. “Even you. Cat-suki”
“Fucking hell, you really are the most insufferable, biggest, cheesiest idiot,” he said and smothered both his and Shouto’s laughs by pulling him into a well-deserved birthday kiss.