Archive of Our Own

Mikage Reo. The name he bore resulted in a life most people could simply dream of; he had hosted several parties at his mansion that had people gawking over him, friends came easy— so were lovers but he had never been interested in anybody to consider that option— anything he wanted would be handed to him. 

Though Reo wasn’t perfect, as much as people believed he was. That was also something he could never understand. Why could people see the best of him while his parents— his blood— only could see the worst? 

He didn’t resent them though, that was his biggest shame. 

“An acquaintance of mine will be your tour guide on your break.” his father told him on a call before his flight, “Behave, we don’t need you to tarnish our reputation more than you already have,” he snarled. It wasn’t like Reo would say anything, even after all this he still couldn’t. So he begrudgingly replied with a simple “Yes Dad,” 

Even if he had said anything he was already on his flight to Switzerland, it’s not like anything he can say or do will make a difference at this point.

His hands were currently tangled up with carrying his two suitcases, a carry on, and a cup of coffee. He vigorously tried balancing all his items, but the bag kept slipping off his shoulder and one of the suitcases was barely standing since one of the wheels had popped off when he hit it against a corner.

Regardless of his effort everything started to fall off and he knew he would inevitably be surrounded with his belongings in a cluster.

To his surprise just as his suitcase was about to topple over, an arm firmly gripped on its handle keeping it in place as Reo shrugged his shoulder to hike up the bag and got a firmer grip on his coffee.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, arm extending to get his suitcase back, but his eyes settled on a pair of grey eyes instead.

he noticed the man’s lean figure and snowy-white hair. He also noticed how the man was slightly taller than him; by a few inches. 

“Uh sorry again…” he stammered and before he could wait for the stranger’s reply he received a call, quickly going off to the side to pick it up. 

“Reo,” his dad had said the second he picked up, “It seems my acquaintance seems to have been caught up with some business, he says he sent somebody instead,” 

“Alright, could you send me his number?” 

and sure enough, in 8 seconds time, he had received a message from his father’s secretary— of course not his father, it was never his father. Even right now he was talking to his father on the secretary’s number. 

after ending the call with his father, he swiftly called the number he just received. Oddly enough he heard a phone ring only a couple feet away from him.

Assuming it was a mere coincidence, he tried calling again; the sound now closer. He finally looks up from his phone and see the two gray eyes he had looked at a couple seconds ago, was now right in front of him; inches apart from him.

“Mikage-san?” The stranger sounded, Reo stuck in a daze and didn’t reply back until he heard his name getting called again, “Are you Mikage-san?” 

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, yeah. Reo mikage…” he answered his mind still not completely with him as he slightly looked up to greet the other’s ashy eyes. 

The man hummed in response, helping Reo with both his bags this time, “This way,” he said, walking up to a white car and placing the suitcases in before shutting the trunk. “I’ll be your tour guide,” he added

Reo nodded and cleared his throat, unsure when it went dry. In a couple seconds him and the stranger were seated in the car, heading to Reo’s temporary residence for the next 3 months.

Disliking the silence that fell in the car ride; Reo attempted on making conversation, “…So, are you from here?” the stranger glanced at Reo for a second before settling his eyes back on the road and replied,

“Moved when i was 3,” 

“Where are you originally from?” 

“Tokyo, same as you i assume,” 

Reo found himself smiling at the first thing he had in common with the stranger, “Yeah!” he excitedly replied, but noticed his own tone and coughed trying to cover it up, “Yeah, yeah,” he corrected 

The stranger once again hummed, his eyes catching a glance of Reo’s fidgeting, “Uncomfortable?” he simply replied 

“No, not really,” 

“Your body language says otherwise,” 

he nervously laughed as his ears were stained red in embarrassment by the stranger being able to read him so well, “Well, i guess i’m just anxious?” he said— or rather asked himself. 

“Hm, don’t be,” the stranger answered like it was as simple as that,

“What?” Reo said, caught off guard by the man’s simplicity 

“You seem like a person others tend to respect a lot, at least that’s what I could get from you. And you seem to be good with words,” funny since all he’s done since meeting this man was stutter and stammer “So don’t be so nervous, it’s seems like a hassle,” 

Reo’s eyes fluttered to the head of white hair seated beside him, why was his heart acting weird? 

Just before anything left his mouth, the car stopped. “We’re here,” he had heard, his head looking out the window— as if to make sure— and sure enough, there it was.

“Oh, well it was nice talking to you. I’m assuming i’ll see you tomorrow?” 

“And everyday after that for 3 months,” he replied in his usual nonchalant tone.

As Reo was standing hand in hand with all his things he had realized something. He quickly turned back around, disregarding the suitcase that had fell on the floor, and rushed to knock on the windows of the car before it left.

The window slowly slid down as the man inside tilted his head to the side; confused, did he forget something? 

“Your name, what’s your name?” he said before the man could ask him anything, 

He seemed quite taken aback by the sudden question but nonetheless answer, “Nagi,” he said, “Nagi Seishiro,” 

Nagi

“See you tomorrow, Nagi,” Reo smiled widely. Had it not been for the cars honking and the people chattering in the distance, Nagi was sure that Reo would hear the way his heart rate seemed to quicken. 

“Reo! Reo wake up! Reo! Do something!”

“Get the ambulance here, quickly!”

Reo suddenly wakes up in a frenzy, his hair clinging to his forehead from the sweat, breath staggered. 

He lets out a sigh, “Not again…” he murmured as he turned around to look at the time— 6:00 AM. 

I should leave at 8 AM… it’s not like i’m gonna get any sleep now.

He slid out of bed and washed his face as well as took a quick shower. It was around 6:30 by the time he was done, and 20 more minutes until he finished drying his hair. It was getting long should i cut it?

He turned to his kitchen and put something together for himself that was just a simple cup of coffee and a plate of scrambled eggs.

He went through his fridge once again to check what his father had packed it with and noticed 3 bottles of lemon tea, having never tasted it, he tried it.

Safe to say it was not a favorite, he grimaced at the sour taste and tightened the lid back up. Somehow he found himself putting it in his bag for no apparent reason. 

At 15 past 8; 8:15, Reo was in the car beside the white haired stranger— beside Nagi . 

His eyes darted left and right at the scenery, it was breathtaking. Maybe the most beautiful sight he’s seen all his life— though that would soon change. 

It had been 2 weeks since his “accident” as his parents liked to phrase it, and life seemed to be going well. It was peaceful away from everybody he knew. Away from his parents. Away from his father. 

As Nagi stopped at a red light, Reo tried to start a conversation again.

“So, how old are you? are we the same age?” he leaned closer and interest grew in his eyes 

Nagi looked at him with the same expression and turned his head back to the road once the lights turned green, “nineteen, you?” If there was anything Reo picked up, it was how Nagi always responded in a laid back kind of tone. Though this time there seemed to be a glimpse of emotion behind his emotionless eyes. 

“nineteen,” he smiled, eyes turning to crescents. “So, where are we headed to today?” 

“Well that’s up to you Mikage-san,” 

Reo nodded and pulled out his phone to find anywhere that seemed to interest him, surely enough he did find a park not too far away from them. 

“So… Nagi ,” Reo nervously fiddled with his fingers as he looked around, once again he only received a glance from the latter. An awkward silence fell upon them until they reached their destination. 

Reo speedily got out; the air in the car feeling denser with each passing second. He tried to shake off the awkward feeling and slung his bag around his shoulders when he felt something in the bag.

Taking it out, he realized it was the lemon tea that he had almost forgotten about. He considered throwing it out since he didn’t like it but decided against it.

He looked around to find something to do with the beverage and his eyes, eventually, landed on Nagi— they seemed to land on him more often than he’d like to admit. 

“Here. I’m not sure if you’ll like but it’d be a waste to throw it out,” he said handing the bottle to Nagi.

He seemed to hesitate— Reo caught of glimpse of something else in his eyes aside from his usual, bored expression, but he couldn’t figure it out— eventually he accept the drink and murmured a “Thank you”

The weather was nice, the birds singing on the tree branches, and the wind was blowing refreshingly. 

Reo smiled as he breathed in the fresh air. Spotting an ice cream vendor in the distance, he happily jogged over and bought two cones.

He hadn’t even realized he ordered two until he found the cones in his hands.

He stuffed the change in his pocket and jogged back to the car. 

“I don’t really know what ice cream flavor you prefer but I bought you lemon flavored since it looked like you enjoyed the lemon tea,” he explained putting the cone in Nagi’s hand.

Nagi bore the same expression but Reo could notice a hint of surprise— or was it awe?— in his grey eyes. It was the same expression that he had when Reo handed him the lemon tea.

“Do you want to go on a walk for a while? Might need some company,” he said, trying to seem as casual as he can. 

Again; Nagi hesitated before eventually following after Reo, 

“You aren’t really a talker, huh?” Reo teased trying to lighten the mood, though it didn’t do much.

They continued walking as they enjoyed their ice creams. Reo was expecting the walk to end in awkward silence, but he was pleasantly surprised when he got proven otherwise. 

“Are you enjoying your visit?” it had been the first question— second if you consider the time he asked him if he was Mikage Reo— that Nagi asked Reo a question.

He quickly brushed off his shock and smiled widely, “Yeah!” 

There it was again, that weird feeling in Nagi’s chest whenever the lavender haired boy smiled. 

He looked away, more out of instinct. “…That’s good,” he said in a low voice, almost unheard. 

Somehow that simple question managed to put him to ease; the awkwardness he had felt earlier had gone away. 

A soft smile decorated his perfectly sculpted face as let out a sigh of relief. 

“So,” he started as he gazed at the assortment of flowers around him, “Are you like a shy person?” 

“No, not really,” Nagi replied as his eyes joined Reo’s, gazing at the flowers. “Why?” 

Oh . Reo didn’t expect this conversation to go on any longer. He was glad. 

“I guess I noticed how you always shy away, or avoid my gaze,” he let out a chuckle recalling the others actions. 

“I’m not really shy,” he repeated. Reo was about to laugh at the others obvious bashfulness but his response was cut shot when the other continued talking, “It’s just that you’re pretty…”

Blood rushed to his cheeks when he finally took in his words, eyes wide at the sudden compliment. He had gotten plenty of compliments throughout his life but somehow this strangers compliment made him into a blushing mess. 

“Oh. T-thanks…” he stuttered, looking everywhere but Nagi’s eyes.

Nagi hummed as they continued to walk along the trail, 

When Reo’s face become less red, he finally looked over at the white haired boy beside him— who seemed frantically unfazed.

Had he glanced seconds ago he would’ve saw the light rosy color paint his cheeks. 

Seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to hours as Nagi and Reo started to get comfortable with the others presence. The awkwardness between the two had no longer existed. 

“Yeah!” 

“No way!” 

“Ha! Told you!” 

Nagi was a patient person, he really was. He was blunt sure, but he never had a problem dealing with loud noises; he had learned to tune them out. 

But the sound of the insufferable people behind him seemed to be reluctant in letting him enjoy his dinner in peace. 

Nagi and Reo had stopped at a close diner once it had gotten late— as per Reo’s request. A little after they arrived they saw a group of boys around the same age as them enter and sit in the booth directly behind them. 

The loud, restless yells of the group getting on Nagi’s every nerve as he tried to block out their noises and focus on the boy in front of him instead.

The constant clashing of their voices roaring in the— almost empty— diner had his head spinning. 

He released a sigh as he gives up trying to cancel out the noise and settles with ignoring them, but his sigh doesn’t go by unnoticed.

“You okay?” 

“Hm? Yeah yeah, fine,” he replies as he picks up the menu and looks over the things available,

“Loud aren’t they?” Reo whispered to Nagi,

He nodded at the others comment, “Very,” he grumbles as he went through the rest of the menu 

It was due to the fact that Reo understood what they were saying that he couldn’t ignore them, it felt like it had been ages since he heard people, other than him and Nagi, speak Japanese.  

Having gotten enough with the group, Nagi gets up.

The chatter of the group halts when they notice the appearance of an unfamiliar face followed by a purple haired who seemed to be trying to calm him down.

“What?” a man who had his black hair styled upright, said,

“Keep it down.” He bites back the insults he would’ve loved to say, 

Before the same man could intervene, a red haired individual replied, “Sorry about that,” he smiled sheepishly 

“Sorry we disturbed you guys,” Reo answered as Nagi kept glaring at the man he spoke to earlier, the man glaring back. 

“No, no! It’s us who disturbed you, i do realize me and my friends tend to forget about our surroundings,” another replied, his orange hair being his most distinct feature. 

As they continued talking, he learned their names. The man who Nagi was glaring at was Barou, red head is Chgiri, orange haired; Kunigami, and Isagi and Bachira— dark blue hair and two toned hair, black and blonde. 

Reo enjoyed talking to them and they found out they all had something in common— football. 

Their brief conversation was cut short when they had to go back to their table since their food arrived— but that didn’t stop Reo from passing his phone number to them and receiving their numbers as well. 

It had been a week since that day. They— mostly Reo— had kept in touch with the people they met at the diner a week ago. 

“Ugh,” Nagi groaned by Reo’s side as they stood at the entrance of a park. “How much longer? I’m tired,” 

Reo chuckled at the taller one’s whining and ruffled his messy hair, “Bachira said they were close by, hang in there,” Nagi let out another groan and eased into the touch of the other. 

A second ago Nagi would’ve been relieved at the sound of the others but now, when he felt the hand that was ruffling his hair seconds ago, leave. He wasn’t as relieved anymore. 

“Reo!” Bachira threw himself onto the boy as the others trailed behind him. Reo left Nagi’s side to help the others since they seemed to have been carrying plenty of bags. 

“Heya Nagicci!” Bachira beamed at the other who only hummed in response. “Have you been here for a long time Nagi?” Bachira asked as he rocked on his heels awkwardly.

“Mmm. About 7 years,” 

“7 years! Wow! So that means you were…” Bachira paused as he calculated it in his mind, “12! You were 12 when you came here?” 

“I guess so. Don’t remember.” he did, but he’d rather not think about it. 

Saving the two from any more awkwardness, Chigiri called, “Bachira! Nagi! C’mere!” 

Nagi notices the place they had set up while he was busy talking with Bachira— he assumes— and heads towards them. 

A picnic blanket was placed atop the green grass as plates filled with various food filled it, empty cups placed around it with two jars of— presumably— a type of juice. 

Everybody sat down, Reo beside Nagi because his body seemed to move him directly towards where the other was seated. 

After they all got comfortable, Reo took a bite of the biscuit that was placed on the plate sitting in front of him. His eyes widened as the flavors exploded into his mouth. 

“Wow! Did you guys make these?” 

“Oh! Yeah, Barou did He may not seem like it but he’s actually the best cook out of us,” Isagi laughed. 

Barou glared at Reo expecting him to ridicule him, but he was pleasantly surprised when Reo smiled and told him “These are great! You have a natural talent, Barou!” 

Nagi would be lying if he said he wasn’t bothered at the attention Reo was giving Barou instead of him. But he ignored it. 

They continued talking, laughing, and— sometimes— arguing (mostly Nagi and Barou).

Their conversation was cut short when a phone rang.

“Ah, sorry! I need to take this,” Reo said, excusing himself as he got up and hurried out the gate before picking up, 

“Yes, father,” 

“Reo, how’s your stay? Was the guide alright, or would you like somebody else?” 

“Everything is fine. The guide is alright, don’t worry,” as if he’d worry about his comfort. “How’s mother?” 

“She’s doing better, Reo .” He knew what his father was implying with his tone. Now you care about your mother? How selfish of you. 

But he won’t say that, he never does. 

After all, Mikage Reo was still the heir of his beloved company. 

“He’s been gone for a little over 5 minutes, is he okay?” Kunigami had mentioned, earning some concerned and worried looks from the others.

Chigiri was about to get up to check up on Reo, but Nagi beat him to it. 

“I’ll go,” He says, already off the ground and on his way. 

Making his way to the gate, he notices how empty the park way. When they had gotten there it was flooded with people, but now there seemed to be a total of 6 other people other than themselves. 

Once he was close enough to the gate he heard Reo. 

“It’s not like you ever cared! You can’t just do whatever you want with my life!” 

He sounded angry, very. 

Nagi stepped further away from the gate so that he wouldn’t be able to hear the rest. It didn’t seem like it’s something Reo would want him to hear. 

Another couple minutes pass and when he no longer hears any distant yelling, he walks up to the gate again, almost bumping into Reo— who was fuming. 

Reo’s brows were creased as he gripped his phone so tightly that he felt like he would shatter the screen if he pressed any harder. 

“Reo,” Nagi reached out to hold Reo by his shoulder to stop him from bumping into him. “You okay? What was that all about?” 

Reo pulled himself out of Nagi’s hold, “None of your business.” His voice filled with malice 

He had realized the tone he was using a little after he had already said it. No point in taking it back now. 

Nagi stares at Reo— a little taken aback by the harsh way he was speaking but he decided against creating a problem out of it. 

“I wanna go home.” Reo simply said as his head hung low, 

Something in Nagi’s chest squeezed at the sight of the other in such a vulnerable position. 

“Okay, I’ll get your things and tell the others you weren’t feeling well. Here are the keys,” Nagi said with the silver keys placed on his palm, 

Reo didn’t say anything back, taking the keys and rushing off to the parking lot. 

True to his word, Nagi excused Reo and himself as he took Reo’s belongings and rushed back to the car. 

The car ride home had been a silent one. Reo never met Nagi’s eyes— which kept glancing at Reo every so often. 

Nagi was never good with words, it never bothered him. After all, having to explain things was a hassle . But somehow, tonight, Nagi wished he was better at communicating. 

Reo  

A stranger, somebody he had only met a little over a week ago. 

Why did he care so much about somebody he barely knows? 

“Thanks” Reo had mumbled as he stepped out the car, still not looking Nagi in the eyes. And so Reo closed the door and walked into his apartment. 

The next day, Reo acted like the whole interaction never happened. They went to the Swiss National Museum and enjoyed their day in each other’s company. 

Nagi found himself accustomed to Reo’s presence, maybe even more than just accustomed. He found himself longing for the nights to end just to pick up his…. wait. 

You’re getting ahead of yourself, Seishiro. You understand you’re only a tour guide. You’ll never be more to him. What? A friend? Don’t kid yourself. He’s a Mikage. Why would he associate himself with you? You failed your own parents. 

the daunting voice of the female he had grown to resent— to loathe — rang in his head. 

Ah. just when things were quiet. 

Two weeks have passed since Reo first came to Switzerland. In those two weeks, Reo managed to create bonds with the different people he met here— he was able to enjoy the company of the friends he had made.

His friends. Not just people whom he was forced into interacting with for the sake of his fathers’ affairs. 

“Reo,” the voice he had grown familiar with, said. He hummed in response as he glanced around the table. It was a Friday night. Meaning none of the fellow people seated with him will be going back home alcohol-free. 

“How much longer are you gonna be staying here Reocci,” Bachira asked, his eyes filled with the same shimmer it always had. 

“Ah. A little over two months,” 

It suddenly dawned on Nagi, Reo’s days with him were numbered.

“Man! I wish we could stay longer, we have to go back in 2 weeks,” Chigiri frowned, 

“We can always meet up when we’re all back in Japan,” Reo smiled, trying to help ease the crease on the pink haired boy’s eyebrows. 

“What about Nagi! He’s gonna be here all alone once we leave,” 

It suddenly dawned on Reo, Nagi ’s days with him were numbered.

A little uncomfortable with the sudden attention everybody had on Nagi, he shuffled in his seat. 

“…” he avoided the eyes of all the others, but while avoiding everyone’s eyes he accidentally met the eyes of the one person he desperately needed to avoid. 

Reo’s lilac irises caught Nagi’s grey irises for only a second. In that second, Nagi caught a glimpse of an emotion he didn’t expect to see— or rather did want to let himself think of that possibility. He didn’t want to trick himself into thinking somebody as great as the boy beside him would care enough about a measly tour guide to show such an emotion— sorrow . 

As if on cue, the waiter drops by their table and fills the white cloth covered board with their food and drinks. 

Nagi could finally breathe again, he hadn’t even realized that he had held his breath until he felt slightly lightheaded from the lack of oxygen. 

Pathetic. Don’t let your delusions get the better of you, it’ll only cause you pain. 

‘ Shut up .’ He tells the voice. She won’t listen, she never does. 

An hour into the night and Kunigami was already wasted. Guess all that hero talk was just talk. Isagi and Bachira had gone out to the dance floor as they moved freely. Barou had refused to drink anything more than a bottle of beer, Chigiri was hella drunk as well since he started flirting with the wall. 

Nagi was pretty light weight, he had drank two shots and he was already tipsy. His cheeks were slightly red as he sighed in relief once he stopped hearing the taunting voice in his head. 

Reo could take his alcohol way better than Nagi; two shots and he was still relatively fine. 

Another shot and Reo had made his way to the dance floor as well, leaving Nagi and Kunigami alone after Chigiri left to get another drink and Barou accompanying him to make sure he didn’t get mugged since Kunigami was too drunk. 

Nagi’s head was throbbing as he downed another shot, “Woah there!” somebody said from behind him,

Isagi, who seemed a little tipsy as he stumbled on his feet and fell on the hard wooden chair.

Nagi averted his gaze from the raven head and, instead, looked over at the dance floor. 

He poured himself another shot until his eyes landed on a head of familiar lavender locks. An unfamiliar feeling erupted in him when he noticed Bachira holding Reo’s hand as they jumped together to the beat. 

He tried to ignore the weird feelings bubbling up in his stomach; blaming it on the alcohol. He looked back at Isagi.

“What?” he uncharacteristically scoffed at the look Isagi gave him, maybe the alcohol was actually getting to him. He was never the type to get angry or frustrated at things. 

“Nothing, nothing!” he smirked as he raised both his hands up.

Not wanting to use up any more energy, Nagi rolled his eyes at the raven head and downed down another shot.

“Are you planning on drinking yourself to death, Nagicci?” Another voice spoke. 

“Bachira!” Isagi practically leaped out of his seat at the sight of the other boy.

Nagi ignored the couple as he was about to down another shot. Suddenly he remembered something— or rather someone. 

“Where’s Reo?” he spoke

“Reo? He was just behind me,” he said as he looked around but saw no sight of the purple haired boy, “Hell? where did he go?” 

Bachira hadn’t even had time to finish his sentence and Nagi had already gotten up and headed towards the crowd.

Reo. 

The only thing that occupied his mind as he looked for the purple haired boy he had grown accustomed to. 

You’re his tour guide, that’s why you’re worried! He tried convincing himself. 

He wasn’t fooling anybody. 

Not long after, Nagi notices a head of purple hair across from where he was standing. The swarm of people in the area blocked his full view, but he could make out the delicate features of the other. 

He got a better look at Reo the closer he got; the fewer people in his way. Since he was close enough he finally got a clear view of Reo. 

He wasn’t alone. It was obvious Reo was drunk with the way his face was flushed and he could barely stand up straight. 

A man with blonde hair and pink streaks extended his arm and wrapped it around Reo’s waist. 

‘Move’ 

The man inched closer and closer to Reo. 

‘Move!’ 

The blonde man’s lips brushed against Reo’s ears as he seemed to whisper something that made Reo giggle. 

The sound seemed to bring him back. Even over the booming music, Reo’s voice seemed to break all and every sound barrier and make its way to Nagi’s ear. 

What was he even doing? What if he’s a friend? or worse— his boyfriend. But they’ve been together almost half the time, when did he even get the time to find a boyfriend? 

All logic was thrown at the window the second he was within arm’s  length from Reo. Taking his hand and pulling him away from the mystery man. 

He could hear Reo yell his name as he dragged him away from the crowd but he decided to ignore it for now. 

A few minutes later Nagi finally stops and lets go of Reo. 

“Nagi? What’s going on?” Reo asked clearly confused. 

“Who was that?” he was doing a god awful job trying to hide the annoyance in his tone. 

“Shidou? I don’t know, I met him tonight,” 

“You shouldn’t throw yourself onto strangers, Reo.” 

“Throw myself— Nagi what the fuck are you talking about?” Reo took a step back, as he stared in disbelief at the taller ones’ words. 

“Reo, you were all over him!” Nagi was far too gone to even comprehend a single word that left his mouth. This was going to bite him in the ass tomorrow. 

“Excuse me? I wasn’t—and even if I was, what does that have to do with you Nagi?!” 

“Oh I’m so fucking sorry for looking out for you cause you’re too drunk to keep your hands to yourself, Reo!” their voices getting louder by the second.

“I never asked you to take care of me! And I’m not the one that’s drunk Nagi, look at yourself!” 

“‘Not drunk’ my ass. You can’t even stand up straight Reo!” 

The music suddenly couldn’t be heard anymore, the only sound was their staggered breathing as they stared at each other with a mix of different emotions glistening in their eyes.

Nagi breaks the unbearable silence. 

“I don’t care anymore. You’re a Pain in the ass, Reo.” 

Reo’s eyes widened as the words sank in. Nagi turning his back and leaving as Reo wordlessly stares as Nagi goes further and further away from him. His legs didn’t seem to have enough strength in them to run after him. 

Once he can no longer see Nagi, he drops to his knees and sobs. 

God he hoped nobody could see him right now. His tears flowed continuously as the words ran through his mind relentlessly. 

“I don’t care anymore” You don’t know anything Nagi.

“You’re a pain in the ass, Reo.” You’re the pain, Nagi. 

“ Reo, we’re sending you to Switzerland.” What— No, no, no! Stop it I’m not going through that again! 

“You were born only to become a disappointment to this family.” Stop— Stop! 

His mind gave him no peace as it kept replying the memories he hasn’t thought of in weeks. Half an hour had passed as he continued to cry, his eyes puffy, his nose red. God he wanted to leave. 

As if on cue, he heard footsteps close by.

“Reo? Hey hey! what’s wrong?” Chigiri said as he jogged up to the crying boy. 

“Nothing,” the way he was shaking said otherwise. 

He was clearly unconvinced but he didn't push any further, instead looking outside the window to see if he could find any taxi close by. 

Chigiri placed a hand on Reo’s shoulder to somehow comfort him. “Ah! Come on there’s a cab by the entrance let’s catch it before it leaves. I’ll tell the others you weren’t feeling well, hm?” 

And so Reo rode in the cab as he slumped his head into the red heads shoulder, his legs still shaking but his breathing seemed to calm down. 

When Reo did get home, though, sleep didn’t come easy— or at all. 

The horrid smell of the hospital settled in as he sat on the bed, his mother spoke to him for the first time since both his parents got here an hour ago. 

“Reo, we’re sending you to Switzerland,” she said as she avoided the sorrowful eyes of her son. 

“What..?” They were surely joking right ? 

“Mom, you can’t be serious?” he sought out his parent’s faces for anything— anything that could give him hope. Hope that his parents aren’t throwing him away for his idiotic mistake. 

Dread settled into the pit of his stomach as his mother’s remorseful expression dug a hole through his already tainted heart. 

If only he hadn’t took those pills. 

“So that’s it? Y-you’re going to send your only child away cause you can’t deal with it anymore?!” his voice was shaky as his eyes welled up, nevertheless he continued on rubbing salt on his own wound. 

“I fucked up, I know that! But sending me away? I’m getting better—I am!” 

“ Reo .” his father spoke this time. Reo shuddered at the harsh tone of his voice. 

“This is the second time already, how much longer will you draw this out for?

“Your father is right, Reo. We’ve tried everything we could! We’ve sent you to the best therapist in all of Japan, put you on medication, but you’re not getting any better,” 

“But—“

“This isn’t up for negotiation Reo, we’ve spoken to a professional already they advised you get admitted into a psych ward, but that’ll be too risky given our status,” 

Ah of course, it’s never about the well-being of his son, is it? 

“They said a change of scenery will help you, a therapist will be contacting you daily and your sessions will be on Thursdays.”

Anything he’d say would be pointless, it’s clear they’ve already made up their mind. 

“You’re going to leave once you recover,” 

Yet he still wanted to try. 

“Dad, please. I’m sorry, okay? Just don’t—“ 

“Enough! A pointless “sorry” is not going to change anything! All you’ve done was make this harder on me and your mother. Don’t you get it? You were born only to become a disappointment to this family.” 

Though he doesn’t seem to remember when, Reo fell asleep last night— not before spending 2 hours silently sobbing to the point his eyes were swollen. 

His phone buzzes multiple times, he doesn’t hear it though. Not until the phone eventually vibrates off his nightstand, waking up Reo from the sound of the impact. 

He rubs his eyes and groans as the light peeked in through the curtains. He blankly stared at the wall as flashes of the previous night flood his brain. God he wished he could stop thinking sometimes.

Finally, he recalls his disregarded phone and reaches out to get it off the floor. 

1:00 PM 

Reo almost threw his phone as he rubbed his eyes once again to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. 

Reo had never gotten up a minute after 8AM, not even when he was hospitalized. So seeing how a measly boy had affected him this much, he felt pathetic. 

But he always was. He’s always been called pathetic— by his own blood even. So why is it only now he feels like the universe closed in on itself, engulfing Reo in it’s emptiness. 

His head throbbing from, what might be, the worst hangover he’s ever had. He runs his digits through his lavender hair as he lets out an exhale, pushing himself off the bed. 

His phone rang another time, this time he actually picks up. 

“Hello?” his voice raspy from having just woken up,

“Oh my god, you’re alive!” The person— whose voice he recognizes as Chigiri— yells. He winces at the loud noise, pushing his phone away from his ears.

“Chigiri? Is something wrong?” it wasn’t exactly common for him to call the other.

“I should be asking you that, how are you holding up?”

Ah can they not bring this up…

“Fine.” he sternly replies. Though Chigiri doesn’t fall for it, but he doesn’t question it any further. Instead he changes the topic,

“Are you busy today? I’m meeting this friend of mine, he’s here doing some modeling work, care to join?” 

Reo doesn’t feel like going out in all honestly, his head was still buzzing and he doesn’t think he can stand the chance of even seeing Nagi today. But staying alone all day with his thoughts seems just as bad— if not worse . 

Reo sighs before answering the red head, “What time?” 

Even though he can’t see the others face, he can tell it’s beaming as he replied, “5:00 PM, I’ll pick you up!” 

Reo hums at the offer, not having it in himself to reply properly. 

He hangs up first as he shuffles past his bed and into the showers, he must reek of alcohol and sweat.

By the time 5:00 PM rolls around, Reo is already sprinting out the door and heading towards the white convertible parked in front of his apartment. 

“Chigiri,” Reo says as he takes in deep breaths 

“Buckle up!I don’t have my license yet this is actually my sister’s car so let’s hope nobody stops us or else we’ll be fucked!” He said in a cheerful tone that only raised Reo‘s anxiety levels.

“I should probably write down my will before I die today, ” Reo mutters to himself just before Chigiri accidentally moves backwards, almost crashing into somebody’s car.

“Chill, I got this babe!”

“No you do not babe.” 

Chgiri starts driving— in the correct direction this time— as Reo silently prays to any and every body that was currently listening to his prayers. 

Somehow they made it to their destination in one piece— Chigiri may or may not have almost crashed into two trash cans as well as almost running over a man trying to cross the road cause he was busy fixing his hair. 

But they did make it! 

Reo quickly puts himself back together after seeing his life flash before his eyes 12 times over.

“I’m driving on our way back.” Reo didn’t have a license but he’ll take his chances. 

“Yukki, hi!” Chigiri exclaimed, throwing himself into the arms of a tall man— around Reo’s height— with brown hair and glasses.

“Hey Chi, how have you been?” 

“Great! How’s modeling? I saw you on the cover of a magazine!” 

Yukki— his name? nickname? probably the latter— smiled bashfully as he rubbed the back of his neck, “Ah, well I guess i have to say it’s been going pretty well,” 

Chigiri and the man whom Reo only knew as ‘Yukki’ continued to chat. They seemed close, high school friends? he assumed.

Chigiri seemed to finally remember the existence of the purple haired as his eyes went wide and rushed to introduce his friend, “Ah! Yukki this is Reo, Mikage Reo!” 

Reo didn’t like the sound of his last name… he didn’t like being acknowledged as Mikage Reo.

“Hello, I’m Kenyu Yukimiya. Pleasure to meet you, Reo—  is Reo okay? or do you prefer Mikage?” 

The always put together and eloquent Reo seemed to be no longer intact at the presence of this stranger, he wasn’t necessarily attracted to his looks— but he was undoubtedly  attractive— he was more-so attracted to his mannerisms. A gentleman. 

It occurred to him that he hadn’t 

actually replied to the man, “Reo!… Uh Reo is fine, and the pleasure is mine really,” He stumbled on his words as he awkwardly put out his hand, which Yukki gladly accepted, smiling softly.

His evening was spent rather contentedly, not having thought of the white haired boy that had caused him far too much damage than he’d like to admit. 

He could hear muffled noises as he squirmed in his sleep, slowly the excruciatingly bright shine of the sun burned its glow onto the pale skin of the albino. 

Nagi writhed in discomfort as a breeze of cold air blew. Groaning he tosses and turns in bed trying to get away from the unforgiving sunshine. 

His—not so— peaceful sleep was interrupted when disturbed even further when a pillow slammed onto his head.

“Ugh,” he groaned at the sudden assault, “What the fuck?” he swears as he begrudgingly opens one of his eyes to look at his assailant—only to be met with blue eyes instead.

Isagi was seething as he kept yapping about something, but Nagi could barely focus on his own surroundings to make out a single word the blue haired boy said. 

At some point Nagi drifted back into sleep but that didn’t last long when he got another hit on the head, 

Okay, he was getting annoyed. What the fuck was Isagi’s problem? 

“Nagi! Did you listen to a single thing I even said?!” the other yelled,

“Huh? What do you want?” Nagi said, his voice laced with tiredness. 

“God, you’re fucking unbelievable . No wonder Reo is pissed,” he shook his head as a pinched the bridge of his nose; losing his patience with the white haired boy. 

Unbelievable? What did he even do? Did— wait,

“Reo?” Nagi said, suddenly all the drowsiness had escaped his body replaced by a weird feeling in his gut; a horrible feeling. 

“Yes Reo! Do you know how much you fucked up?” 

“What are you talking about? Where’s Reo? Fuck, what time is it?” Nagi shook his head trying to rid himself of whatever drowsiness still remained. 

As Nagi got up, he realized some things: What was Isagi doing in his apartment? And more importantly, why did his apartment look so different?

“Where are we?” he asked looking around the room, 

Isagi let out a deep sigh as he sank into the bed, “You’re hopeless, Nagi. We’re at my apartment! And it’s 2pm,”

His apartment? Huh? Didn’t he go back home last— 

Last night. Right, he was out drinking last night, how did he get here? Where was Reo? Did he get back home? 2pm? Isn’t Nagi supposed to pick him up at 8am? Why hadn’t he called Nagi?

He could hear Isagi say something but he couldn’t focus on whatever he said as he tried recalling the events of last night,

“Nagi, listen to me!” Isagi yelled as he stood in front of him, holding him by his shoulders, “What the fuck was that all about? Last night?!” 

“Last night? What happened last night,” 

His head felt like it was getting split into two halves while he tried to focus on what Isagi was saying, 

“You’re joking right? You don’t remember what you did? What you said ?”

“Cut the bullshit and get to the point,” he was getting even more irritated with every question.

“Last night, something happened between you are Reo,”

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah he’s— wait no, no! Nagi you dick! You should be asking him that yourself!” 

What exactly happened, why was Isagi so furious? Was Reo okay? 

Isagi sighed for what could’ve been the hundredth time that afternoon and explained everything— at least what he had heard from Bachira. 

As Isagi spoke, the horrid memories of last night started rushing in mercilessly,

“You’re a pain in the ass, Reo” 

“I don’t care anymore,” 

The painfully vivid image of Reo with salty tears running down his rosy cheeks flashed across his mind.

Every memory pulled on his heartstrings. 

Call him melodramatic if you will, but suddenly the world around him seemed duller. The painfully bright sun that shined through the window moments ago, now seemed to be nowhere in sight. The colorful colors of Isagi’s room seemed less vibrant. His own body felt heavier. 

“Where’s Reo?” his demeanor quickly turned serious. He felt like gutting himself from the inside out. 

“Last i heard he was out with Chigiri,” the second he finished the sentence Nagi had miraculously changed out of his clothes— which probably reeked of alcohol. 

Now wearing a shirt from Isagi’s closet and the same pants— since Isagi’s pants didn’t fit him—with a few spritzes of whatever cologne he saw. He couldn’t go face Reo smelling like alcohol.

“Nagi, maybe you should give him some space? It hasn’t even been a day yet, maybe he’s still thinking over his feelings?” 

“I’m not gonna wait till Reo decides he doesn’t need me anymore, he’s leaving in less than 2 months I don’t plan on wasting any of my time arguing with him,” the door slammed shut behind him before Isagi could refute.

His hangover hadn’t passed yet but he couldn’t be bothered to deal with it right now. Getting into his car— which he assumed Isagi drove them both back in— Nagi pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts for the number he’s looking for.

Two rings later the person on the other line answers, “Hello?” 

“Chigiri, where is Reo?” 

“Huh? Is that you Nagi?” you can’t blame him for not having Nagi’s number saved, the man has never called him or texted him since the day they met. 

“Where is Reo?” he asked again

“I just dropped him off but—“ 

“Good, I’ll just head to his house then,” 

“Nagi— wait, wait!”

He really didn’t have time for the talk he knows Chigiri is about to give him “I don’t have time Chigiri, I need—” 

“Just listen!” Nagi was cut off by Chigiri’s sudden outburst, “Look, I don’t know what the fuck you’re gonna say when you see Reo, or why you even did what you did, but,” he could hear Chigiri let out a sigh, “Don’t fuck this up more than you already have.” 

The image of Reo with tears rolling down his cheeks made Nagi’s stomach churn uncomfortably, He had to fix this. 

“Mm I won’t,” Nagi had replied and ended the call, he really had no more time to lose.

Reo may have poured himself a glass of wine as soon as he came back. Truly he did enjoy the outing he had and felt much better for some time. 

But now that he’s home again he just can’t stop those gloomy feeling flow back into him. 

It had been a little under half an hour since Chigiri had dropped him off when he heard the doorbell of his apartment ring. 

Nagi was surely the last person he expected to see, part of the reason he had slammed the door right on his face. 

Getting the door slammed on his face was not one of the  things he expected to happen…

This is going great

Nagi rings the bell once again, hoping he’d be let in—or faced— this time. 

Thankfully Reo opened the door again— and didn’t shut it on his face! 

“Reo,” He had been thinking of what to say since he had gotten in his car but somehow he forgot it all when he saw Reo.

“Nagi… what are you doing here?” his voice was strained; like he was forcing the words out. 

What was he doing here? To make up Of course! But what is he even gonna say… To think that a couple minutes ago he had hours worth of things to say yet not he could barely form a coherent sentence. 

“I really don’t have time for this, if you’re not gonna say anything then you can be on your way,” Reo says impatiently while closing the door— though it was stopped by something. 

“I’m sorry,” Nagi blurted out, his foot stopping Reo from closing the door all the way. He used his hand to open the door a little more, just to get a good glance at the man on the other side who —even with his uneven bangs— looked so effortlessly gorgeous to him. 

“Reo, please just… can we talk?” 

Reo sighs but nonetheless lets him in. He could never say no to Nagi, it was a wretched curse.

Now sitting comfortably in the living room, Nagi starts talking again. 

“Reo, about last night, I’m sorry,” 

“You’ve already said that, Nagi,” He really wasn’t gonna make this easier for him. 

“I know… I was drunk and did something incredibly stupid, Reo you don’t deserve to be told that, you’re incredible. ”

“Nagi…” 

“No, no, let me continue. Reo you’re so much better than you give yourself credit, i have no clue what’s going on with you but I’m sure it’s not easy yet you’re still able to throw on your beautiful smile and go about your day. You’re not a pain in the ass and I do care— I care a lot,” way more than I should be, “I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t matter to me Reo,” 

That was probably the most Nagi has ever spoken.

Looking up from his hands, Nagi sees a flash of purple before he’s being engulfed into a tight embrace.

The sniffle of the person in his arms is what brings his focus back, 

His hands were slightly shaking for some reason, his heart was pounding, his eyes wide still in shock. This felt weird, he felt weird. 

He slowly hugs Reo back as he rests his head on the others shoulder, 

This was nice 

He could feel a wet spot form on the back of his shirt, but he didn’t mind, not when he was this close to Reo, not when he could easily run his hands through Reo’s silky lavender hair.

“I’m sorry, Reo,” He truly meant it— with his entire existence— Reo was the first person to teach him how to love after all.

Nagi Seishiro, a mysterious figure to say the least. Ever since elementary school, he’s been alone, he wasn’t exactly a social outcast— more like a loner. He preferred it that way though, he didn’t like getting close to others.

That way people won’t bother him. That way people don’t meddle into his business. That way he was safe. That way people won’t question the mysterious bruises that keep on appearing on his pale skin. 

Ask around and you will not find a single piece of solid information about Nagi Seishiro. 

At the start people kept spreading rumors about ‘the weird guy at the back of Class B’

“I heard you’ll get cursed if you talked to him,” they’d say. “I heard he got expelled from his old school” the rumors seemed to be endless, each day he’d hear something knew. 

It wasn’t all bad, at least. He heard somebody say “I heard he’s a walking good luck charm! Good things happen when he’s around,” 

It was refreshing and better than hearing all those other baseless rumors that went around. 

But at the end of the day, when the bell rings, when everybody went back home, those rumors were the absolute last thought on his mind. 

“Seishiro,” he had hated that name, it was only ever spoken by one person. 

Starring at the glaring eyes of his mother, Nagi’s usual bored expressions would form into the ever slightest hint of fear.  

“Yes?” he stared back at her trying to hide the fear that he tried to overcome multiple times. The tension between them growing more and more intolerable each passing second as they stare at each other with equal amount of hate. 

Hate? That was probably not the right word, because no matter what that women will do to him he couldn’t utter the words ‘I hate you’ to her. Resented— he resented her. 

“You’re late,” 

He sucked in his breath— he had been a couple minutes later than usual since he was helping his coach clean up the field. The last time he had talked about the football club she had told him to leave since it would affect his grades, he had agreed back then; not wanting to create an argument. 

He took in a breath and clenched his fist tightly as his blunt nails dug into his palm. “I was helping my… teacher with something,” 

She looked unconvinced, “Teacher? Who?” 

This wasn’t looking too well for him, how convenient that his mother has the number of almost all his teachers, 

“…The football club couch,” he could hear his heartbeat beating faster and harder against his rib cage.

“Football? You left the club, right?” It was a question, but more like in a threatening tone. 

If Nagi‘s silence was anything to go by, his mom quickly figured out the situation. A bitter laugh escaped her lips, “You never listen to me, huh? I told you to leave that club— did I or did I not?” She furiously asked. 

He tried to defend himself, opening his mouth about to say something, but the worlds quickly died in his mouth when he realized no matter what he says he’ll still be in the wrong. 

He, instead, stayed quiet and nods his head.

“Then why are you still in that stupid club?! My words never make a difference to you, do they?” she pinched the bridge of her nose. 

Guilt started to settle into his bones, he dug his nails deeper into his palm. 

“You’re the reason why your father left me! If you just listened to me, maybe he wouldn’t have abandoned us— or he could’ve at least taken me with him,” 

He should be used to it by now, but it still makes his skin crawl. To think a person—his mother— could be this cruel. 

“Go to your room, I don’t wanna see your face anymore,” she said as she dropped to her knees and tugged at her hair. 

He turned back, not sparing her another glance.

Locking his door he leans against it and sinks into the floor. His breathing was jagged and palm pulsing as he finally loosened his grip. Blood coated his nails as the crescent shaped imprints on his palm bled. 

He found himself thinking, ‘ What if I had listened to her, would we have had a better relationship? Would dad still be around? Would it have been better for her if Dad had taken her with him?’ 

He pulls himself out of those thoughts when he remembered what his therapist had told him in the past, “Manipulators use other’s guilt to get what they want, they seem so genuine you think they’re telling the truth. But that’s just what they do, they manipulate you.” 

Right. He wasn’t at fault for wanting to do something he enjoyed, he deserved to have happiness just as much as she does. 

So why can’t he comprehend that. 

Starring at his roof the night he made up with Reo, Nagi tries ignoring the suffocating feeling in his chest, he tries to sleep. 

Even when I’m away, you won’t leave me alone. Are you satisfied, mother? 

It had been almost 2 weeks since that night. Nagi picks up Reo, who is always beaming from ear to ear as he gets into his car.

Everything was slowly going back to the way it used to be. 

He should be happy— ecstatic even— but weirdly enough a sense of uncomfortable uneasiness nestled in his lungs. Every breath he took was followed by that feeling washing over him continuously. 

He ignored it. Wake up, pick up Reo, go out with Reo, drop off Reo, go back home. That was his daily routine, it was everything he could possibly ask for yet when he’s back home he no longer feels like he does with Reo.

‘Enough with these shenanigans. You’re wasting your time!’ 

Shut up. 

‘I’m telling you the truth you refuse to admit, you think you’re gonna mean anything to him? You’re setting yourself up son. You’ll never see him after he leaves.’

I don’t recall asking for your opinion mother. 

‘The reason you’re in this situation in the first place is that you don’t listen to me. You never change. A disappointment will forever be a disappointment.’ 

Frustration building up inside him as he pushes himself off his bed and out the front door. He needed to get away from his thought. 

It was 3 in the morning, rain was pouring but he didn’t bother to bring an umbrella— instead pulling his hood over his head as he stuffs his hands into his pockets and walks down the street. 

‘You can’t run away from me, Seishiro. I’m not gonna let you leave me, you’re the only person I have left.’

Her voice taunts him, a constant reminder that he’ll never escape. He’ll never be happy. He’ll never be able to love. 

“Enough,” he whispers helplessly to the rain. 

Why me? I’ve always tried to be the best for her, I only ever wanted the best for her. Why is it never enough? Why is it that I’m here, years later, and I’m still held by the memory of her?

The back of his pants got drenched in the rain as he sat on the cold concrete floor, not a single moment in his head was quiet. 

His chest continued to grow uncomfortably tight, he fists at his jacket trying to ease himself of this unbearable weight. Why is this happening to him? 

‘You know why, Seishiro.’

Oh…

Oh

Of course. He knows why, he knew that the feeling in his chest wasn’t cause of the torment of his mother, it was of his own torment. It was cause of the boy he met almost 2 months ago. It was cause of that smile that would shake the walls he had built up all those years. It was cause of those lavender eyes that saw right through him. It was cause of the silky purple hair he wish he could caress whenever he felt like it. 

It was cause of Reo .  

What have you done to me Reo? What about you made me like this? Why is it that the only good part of my day is whenever I’m with you? Why! Why? Why…why? 

“Nagi?” he looks to his right and the boy that had made him this lovesick is starring right at him with those eyes he hated—  No. No he could never hate a thing about Reo, that’s the thing he hates. He can’t bring himself to hate those beautiful eyes, the only eyes that saw good in him. Those eyes that saw the good in him that even his own mother couldn’t see. He had even doubted that there was any good in him.

“ …Reo, ” his voice quavered, 

“Oh god Nagi, are you okay? It’s raining you’re gonna get a cold. Come on let’s go somewhere away from the rain,” 

Somehow he found himself in Reo’s apartment. How did they get here? Wasn’t Nagi’s house the opposite direction of Reo’s house? 

Ah… even my subconscious brought me to you huh? You see Reo, I’m pathetic I hadn’t even realized that I had walked all the way to your street.

Nagi sat in front of the fireplace in Reo’s apartment with a cup of hot chocolate in between his hands, a fuzzy blanket laid comfortably on his lap while Reo blow dried his wet hair.

He blankly stared at the cup in his hands as his mind started to drift off and the voice of his mother whispered her usual taunts.

This time though, the voice seemed lower. 

Reo . Of course Mikage Reo will forever be the reason for everything good that has ever happened to the slacker Nagi Seishiro. His life was nothing but misery until he met Reo.

“There you go, all dry!” Reo beamed his usual smile from behind him

“Thanks,” he muttered as he took a sip of the hot chocolate he had almost forgotten.

“It’s nothing, though why were you even in the rain this late?” 

His hands froze while he was taking a sip, but he shook his head and rested the cup back on his lap. 

“I… don’t know, honestly,”

Reo seemed unsatisfied with that answer 

“I won’t push you if you don’t wanna tell me of course, we all have our struggles Nagi,” he placed a warm hand on his shoulder 

“It doesn’t look like it’s gonna stop raining anytime soon, and I don’t think there are any cabs available this time around, would you like to stay the night?” 

“No, no it’s fine I can walk back home,” 

“Nagi I’m not letting you go anywhere in this rain, you’re gonna get sick,” he softly said as he ruffled his hair while his eyes were filled with worry— and oh how he hated seeing such an expression on those dreamy lavender eyes. 

“Reo cares a lot…” he accidentally let slip but he quickly recovered, “Reo’s hair is still wet,” 

“Oh! Ah I hadn’t even realized,” he sheepishly smiled as he touched the tips of his hair.

“Let me,” he set his cup on a nearby table and maneuvered Reo into the seat.

They sat in comfortable silence as Nagi dried Reo’s hair— whether or not he used this as an excuse to run his fingers through his hair is unknown.

He had even forgotten the voice in his head that grew quieter each second, to the point he couldn’t even hear her. It had been the first time in weeks that his mind had felt this calm. 

Turning off the blow dryer, he combs his fingers through Reo’s hair before he speaks, 

“Reo,” he whispered— almost hoping nobody could hear it aside from him 

“Hm?” 

“The reason I was out was cause of… you” he said in a low voice; timid. 

“Me? Did I do something wrong?” He turns in his chair so he’s looking at Nagi’s grey eyes 

“It would’ve been easier to hate you if that were the case,” he let out an airy laugh that was filled with everything but happiness, 

“What do you mean…?” 

“I mean… I—” he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud, god he really was pathetic. He shut his eyes tightly as he hoped that the words would miraculously flow out of his mouth,

Instead he received a warm embrace from the only person that mattered to him. 

He shook in Reo’s arms as he held a firm grip on Reo as if he’d disappear if he let his guard down.

Drawing circles on Nagi‘s back, he slowly calmed down. 

“I like you, Reo” he whispered 

He could feel Reo stiffen up as regret seeps into his bones. 

He was about to push away from Reo’s embrace and go back home, but just when he pushed away, he was pulled back in. 

He hadn’t expected Reo to pull him back in, honestly he wasn’t even planning on confessing. 

“I like you too Nagi,” he whispered back 

And for the first time, Nagi had felt that maybe he did deserve something good. 

He wraps his arms around Reo, “Reo, I really do like you, way more than I’m supposed to. I’m scared, I’ve never felt like this for anyone before and I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t know anything but I do know I like you Reo, a lot.” 

Reo pulls himself back to get a better look at Nagi’s face and then he notices the tears building up in his eyes. He cradles the latter’s face in his palms, “Nagi, It’s okay. We can figure it out slowly together, hm?  I like you and you like me that’s all we need right now,” he comforted with the softest smile on his flawless face. 

Staring at the gorgeous man in front of him, being held by the person he cared about the most, standing in Reo’s apartment. It all felt like a fever dream. 

The boy who had been forsaken by his own mother was somehow able to be loved— not just by anyone, by Mikage Reo, by the only person that matters to him. 

That night he fell asleep peacefully in the comfort of Reo’s apartment. Maybe his mother was wrong, maybe he wasn’t as horrible as his she made him out to be. 

The next morning Nagi wakes up and is welcomed by the sweet smell of breakfast coming from the kitchen. Sluggishly, he got up and followed the smell until he reached the kitchen where Reo was cooking. 

Snaking his arms around Reo’s slender waist he dug his face into his shoulder, “G’morning Reo,” he said, his voice hoarse.

“Good morning sleepyhead,” Reo chuckled, bringing up his hand to ruffle Nagi’s tangles mess of hair. 

“What are you making?” he said as he moved his head and peeked a glance at the stove, 

“I’m not sure what you’d like so I made scrambled eggs, pancakes, and some toast,” Reo replied as he mixed in some chives, 

“Mm, anything Reo makes tastes good,” he said earning a soft chuckle from the lavender haired boy. 

“Can you get some drinks from the fridge?” 

“Mm,” he simply replied as he left the warmth of Reo’s body and shuffled towards the fridge. Opening it he saw a variety of drinks but the dozen of lemon tea caught his eye, “Reo has a lot of lemon tea,” 

“Oh! Well you seemed to enjoy them and my father owns a branch from the company so I asked for some,” 

“…kind too,” he whispered to himself. He grabbed a bottle of lemon tea and some milk to make some coffee for Reo. 

Once Reo finished plating the food, they sat down and ate in comfortable silence that would be sometimes interpreted by a couple questions about what they will do today. 

After they finished eating, Reo went to take a shower while Nagi cleaned the dishes, he leaves soon after to go change back in his apartment and get his car. 

That day, and the couple days after it, went really well. They had fallen into a cycle of staying at each others house until late and sometimes even stay the night. Still, the closest Nagi had gotten to kissing Reo was the time he slipped and fell on top of Reo. 

It was killing him, Reo’s soft lips seemed to be calling his name but he could never muster up the courage to actually make a move. It was pathetic on his end they’ve practically spent every walking moment together and at one point they had started sharing the bed whenever they would stay over at each others houses. 

Thought it seemed like God wasn’t on his side. 

2 months had passed since Reo first came and those were probably— no. Definitely— the best two months of his life. 

While on a date— was it a date? he wasn’t sure what they were— at a park, the very park they first visited together, Reo received a call. Judging by the sigh  Reo let out, Nagi figured it must be his father calling him. 

Reo excused himself and went over to answer the call while Nagi simply stuffed his hands into his pockets and kicked at the pebbles on the floor waiting for Reo to come back. 

The way Reo responded furiously put him on edge, it wasn’t new for Reo and his father to argue but something about it gave Nagi a weird feeling. And he was right. 

When Reo came back, his head was hung low as he clutched his phone, his fists turning white. Concerned, Nagi reached out his hand to Reo’s cheek but he’s stopped when he feels the drop of a cold tear land on his palm. 

“Reo, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” he was starting to panic, slowly the voice he had subdued for a while seemed to get louder, 

Before he could ask any more, Reo engulfs Nagi in a hug that held so much pain and desperation, it like he was scared if he let go, that Nagi would disappear.

Reo sobbed uncontrollably on Nagi’s shirt while the other comfortingly patted his back, he hoped Reo couldn’t hear the way his heart was anxiously picking up its pace. 

Tears now dry, they sat on a nearby bench as Nagi held Reo’s hands in his own. 

“Nagi…” he had heard Reo call his name several times, it was one of his favorite sounds, but right now it seemed to convey a message he couldn’t bring himself to accept. A message that would prove his mother right, 

“Reo…” he brought the other closer, wrapping an arm around him and placing his head on top of the other, “I’m right here,” he said, his voice strained as he tried to keep his tears at bay. 

“…Nagi, I’m sorry…” he knew where this was going but he refused to acknowledge it, 

Instead he softly placed a kiss on top of the lavender’s head, “It’s okay,” it wasn’t okay, it was eating him inside. 

“I tried to talk him out of it— I did! Please believe me,” Nagi felt like somebody was squeezing his heart unbearably tight, even breathing started to get harder by the second, 

“I believe you, I always will. It’s… it’s alright,” 

“Nagi… he wants me to— to go back home,” 

“Hm… 2 months has passed, I supposed it was about time…” his voice betrayed him, shaky and weak. 

“I— I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to leave you, ” 

“I don’t want you to leave either… you don’t realize how much you mean to me Reo. My life— it was nothing before you came along. My mother has taught me that I didn’t deserve to love, she told me I wasn’t worthy of it. And for the longest time I truly believed her— that was until you came along… Reo you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me…” He lifted his head off of Reo’s and, instead, cupped Reo’s cheeks in his palms, “I love you, Reo” 

The tearing streaming down Reo’s cheeks seemed to never end, but he was smiling— his smile was filled with a painful expression though. 

“Nagi, I love you, too.” He placed his forehead against Nagi’s, “My dad, he’s an ass, always has been. The reason he sent me here was because I had attempted to take my own life… twice. Living under their pressure was suffocating. I wanted to die, every time i became conscious of my breathing i would dread it. Nothing in my life was worth it… but Nagi, you have me a reason to want to live, to be want to wake up the next day. Had it not been for you I was sure i would’ve ended it months ago,” 

Nagi watched Reo’s purple eyes that were filled with tears as his heart sank. Before he had even realized it his lips had touched Reo’s. It was a short peck, but a couple seconds later they deepened the kiss as they pulled each other impossibly close to the other. Relishing in these moments and enjoying them as if it was their last, because it was. 

Nagi’s life will surely go back to being dull— or for a lack of better words— Nagi’s life will end the second he’s left alone again. 

Reo’s life will go back to its dreadful ways, being separated from his entire world, from Nagi, it will surely be his end. 

—

How long had it been since Nagi held the hands of his beloved? Since his fingers brushed through those lavender locks? Since his heart leaped at the sight of that priceless smile? He hadn’t the fainted idea! Was what he was trying to convince himself, but deep down he counted the minutes that he spent away from his lover. 

262800 minutes had passed, approximately 183 days— 6 months. 

He should be moving on, truly he should. They are continents away and will never see each other again.

Reo is Reo! Everybody wants him, he will eventually settle down and marry. And Nagi, poor helpless Nagi, will forever be held down by the shackles of his heart that only, and will only, let in Reo. 

He was at fault, he was the one that fell in love with a billionaire, of course they wouldn’t last. Reo was too good for him, the fact that he had to privilege of kissing those soft lips should be enough for him. 

Yet it’s not. It never will be, he wants to bathe in the vanilla and lavender scent that Reo had, he wanted to run his hands through this silky hair, he wanted to be with Reo till he breathed his last breath. 

But life was a cruel thing. It gives you a glimpse of its wonders and abruptly takes it away from you, leaving you unable to breath and go on without the treasure that you lost. 

These days he felts like a soulless body walking mindlessly to do the necessities he had to in order to survive. Everything was a hassle. He couldn’t keep track of time anymore and he missed meals. 

Had these tasks always been this bothersome? He’s reminded that they were, but having Reo around to feed him, to get him his favorite drink, to remind him of important events. His life had been so tangled up with Reo it felt like once he left he took a part of himself with him. 

Walking past the street he’s passed by everyday, the street he knows by heart, he pulls out his phone once he hears the countless buzzes coming from it. 

It was weird for him to receive messages which was why it took so long for him to realize it was his phone buzzing and not his imagination. 

Seeing the number on the screen his eyebrows furrowed in confusion It was an unknown number. 

+41*********

Nagi 

Nagi!

Answer the phone!! 

This is important!

Nagi

Who is this? 

The only numbers Nagi had saved were Reo… and Reo’s dad. 

‘ You’re pathetic you know that?’ Shut up. 

+41*********

Of course you don’t have

my number saved.

It’s Chigiri idiot

In all honestly he had forgotten about them a while ago his mind was too preoccupied with Reo to think of anybody else. 

Nagi

You need anything…? 

You can’t blame him! The test came out of nowhere it had been longer than 6 months since they last talked and he was never the one to initiate any conversations with them, 

41*********

Just check the news

It’s about Reo

Somehow his body went into overdrive when he say the name of the person he missed deeply. Thumbs clicking away on the search engine trying to figure out what he could possibly be referring to. 

Scrolling past article after article about ‘ The Great Mikage Heir’ It was almost like the Reo the world knew was completely different from the Reo he know, his Reo. But he’s sure he’d still love Reo no matter what form or personality he had. 

After scrolling through a whole page about Reo’s return he stumbles on an article and the title was enough to send him out of orbit. 

This is a joke right? 

‘Mikage Heir is Set to Marry in a Month!’

There was no way that he’d read that right… Somewhere inside him he has figured it was only natural for Reo to choose somebody else but he hadn’t expected it to be this soon. 

He wasn’t ready to leave Reo, call it selfish if you will, but his life had been changed for the better the second his eyes met those purple eyes. 

The world around him was a foggy mess he hadn’t even realized he had dialed Chigiri’s number, 

The line rings once, twice, and, “Hello? Nagi?” 

“Do you have Reo’s new number?” 

“Nagi… I—” he could hear him utter something under his breath but couldn’t quite catch it, “I’ll send it to you right now,” 

Nagi wastes no time and dials that number the second he received the number, 

It doesn’t ring for a full ring when Reo picks up, “Hello?” 

At the sound of the other— the sound he missed desperately— everything finally sunk in. He was calling his ex— were they ex’s? They technically never dated. 

The voice echoed through his ear again which brought him back to his senses, “Hello…? Is this some type of prank—”

“…Reo,” It seemed as if the simple mentioned of the latter’s name was enough o make him swallow his words, “I— Reo it’s me… It’s—”

“Nagi,” It was as if time itself had stopped 

Seconds— minutes?— passed before either of them uttered another word, 

“…Uh so,” It was Reo that spoke first

Suddenly Nagi was reminded of the reason he had even called, “I… I saw that article about your…um,” even with Nagi‘s poor communication skills Reo somehow figured out what he was talking about as he heard an ‘ Oh ’ coming from his side of the line.

“Nagi it’s not what it seems like, I… It’s my father…” From the lack of responses it seemed like Nagi still didn’t understand so he continued, “Somebody saw… us, and I guess it reached my father and was furious he… he,” Nagi could hear how his voice was laced with sorrow, 

“I’m sorry, Nagi… I love you, I truly do I will never be able to love anybody like i love you,” 

“Then come back to me,” he hadn’t even registered what he had said until he could hear the audible surprise across the phone, “I mean… I—“ he sighed feeling hopeless, because that was what he was. Hopeless. He was nothing if not with Reo and he hated just how much he had grown attached to the boy but no army on earth was enough to stop him from getting to the love of his life. “Came back to me Reo,” he repeated. 

“Nagi… I do, I really do! But how am i supposed to do that when we’re stuck continents aparts. My father froze my card the second I got back so I can’t even buy myself a plane back,”

“I’ll do everything, just… I just need you to tell me this is what you want. The last thing I want to do is push you away from something you want, even if that thing isn’t me I will do whatever I can to make you happy Reo,” 

He could hear the stifled sobs coming from Reo’s side but he could hear a light chuckle as well, “ God, you’re an idiot, Nagi Seishiro. Of course I wanna be with you do you think I would be this fucked up right now if l didn’t care about you?” 

They slowly fell into a heart warming fit of light laughter, “I love you, Reo,” 

“I love you too, Seishiro” Nagis breath stifled when he heard his name it had reminded him of the one person he despised. But somehow when Reo said it… it was as if that woman didn’t exist. 

“Ah… I’m sorry that just came out…”

“No, no! Please… uh call me Seishiro,” 

He could almost picture the beautiful smile on Reo’s face, “Alright Seishiro,” 

—

“Sei!”

Nagi, who was busy playing some game he had bought, hurriedly went to where the sound of a distressed Reo came from, 

He visibly relaxed seeing that his boy friend wasn’t hurt. Slowly he walked over to where Reo was sitting, his back to Nagi, and crouched down, “Hm?”

“Look… I know you said you hated things that would cause me a hassle but! ” he said turning around to face Nagi, his hands hid behind his back. 

Nagi skeptically looked at his lover as he nodded for him to continue,

“Okay! Close your eyes and give me your hand,” without much hesitation he extended his arm and closed his eyes. 

He could feel the coolness of metal on his skin accompanied by the warmth of Reo’s hand, 

“Open ‘em!” 

Looking down on his hand he noticed a gold ring on his finger with some writing engraved on in. It was relatively a simple ring but it was elegant and shined beautifully against the sun ray that peaked through the blinds, 

Looked back to his lover he see the same ring rested on Reo’s finger, with a charming smile on his face. 

His lips curved upwards at the sight, pulling Reo closed and placing a loving and tender kiss on his boyfriend’s lips. Placing his forehead against Reo’s he whispered, “I love it. I love you,” 

A endearing laugh left Reo as he wrapped his arms around his lover as they relished in the feeling of each other. 

Life had been pure bliss since the day they met again. It wasn’t easy but Nagi wasn’t willing to give up on Reo. 

After the call with Reo 2 years ago, he had called Reo’s father and gave him a whole lecture on how Reo has the right to pick what he wants (He didn’t mention the part where he left all that in a voicemail). After around a week of leaving voicemail and calling him from different numbers (he blocked Nagi every time he called) his father had grown tired of Nagi’s shenanigans and asked to meet Nagi in person. Truth be told it was messy but by the end of the night his father wasn’t so against them but he still didn’t approve of them. He called off the wedding and let Reo go— but he did pester him each week but Reo has learned to just ignore him. 

Now 2 years later, they got a cactus together and named it Choki (Reo wanted a cat but Nagi had complained about how much work it was). They also moved in together a couple months later. 

Now, even if they were not living the best lives, it was enough for them that they had each other.