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Kell shielded his face from the midday sun. He was on a ship, but he just knew that soon he wouldn’t be anymore.
“Son,” a gentle but firm voice said from above. “Do you remember what I told you?”
Did he remember? “Yes, mama,” he nodded.
“Good boy,” his mother caressed his cheek and offered him a smile. “Don’t worry, mama will tell you when you have to do your magic.”
He ran away to the prow of the vessel, his eyes fixed on the open sea. He wasn’t sure where they were going. He was little, and aside from doing what his parents asked of him like he thought he was supposed to do, no one ever told him anything.
He and his parents never stayed in one place for too long, and if he had to tell somebody where his home was, he would probably say that ship. Or so he thought. He didn’t know anything. He felt like a piece was missing.
It didn’t matter. Once they got off the little ship, he knew he had to do his magic, as his mama liked to call his talent. Whatever that was.
“Are you sure it’s going to work?” his mother asked his father not far behind him. “He has done it before, and well. But this is bigger.”
“I am aware,” his papa replied firmly. “But I know he can do it. He has already granted us a big fortune so far, but you know that my brother wants –”
His mother huffed in annoyance. “I know what he wants. I’m just angry that it has to be my child. He just turned five.”
“May I have to remind you of your son’s reputation? He’s just five, but he’s already well-known around here.”
“For the wrong reasons.”
“Look who's talking,” his papa laughed. “The apple didn’t drop far from the tree.”
“Oh, shut up,” his mama said.
Kell didn’t know how he ended up on solid ground, but he was aware that he needed to get ready. For what, he didn't know.
“Son,” his father called. Now I remembered. “We are going to be close to you, but you have to do the most important job.”
He nodded, and his mother fixed the hood of his coat over his head. Kell felt a chill down his spine. He was excited. “My child, do you still remember?” his mother asked him again. She looked tense, and he wondered why.
He found this fun. It was a game to him, and he didn’t know why his mama didn’t see it as a game too.
He nodded. No, not her child. He had to play a role. Who, then? He had no clue.
Kell stared at the burning surface. He knew the fire would soon devour everything around him, but his limbs were frozen. It was as if the flames had enchanted him, and begged him to watch their magical show until he would become part of it himself.
He felt helpless, but he made no move to run. He was stuck. Hands caught him by the waist, and he felt lighter, but a little angry. Why did they take him away from the fire?
They ran, until they stopped. The same hands who caught him set him down, and he was crying. He wanted to stay by the fire.
“Was the shop under a spell?” his father asked his mama. “Was it you?”
“You know I can't.”
He felt another hand, this time on his shoulder, and looked up. “Lila?” He didn’t know why she was there. She didn’t belong here, did she? He didn’t know her when he was a child. Somehow, she wasn’t dissonant with the scenario. Somehow, she fit. Her presence was comforting, as if she was there to reassure him that everything was going to be okay.
He didn’t know if he did, though, because his point of view had changed. Instead of looking at the people he knew were his parents from below, as a child, he was taller than them. He had grown, and it felt odd. He didn’t know anything anymore, save for one thing.
“It was me,” Kell said boldly. “I started the fire.”
Two pairs of eyes settled on him. His mother gasped, and his father blinked. Lila squeezed his hand and told him it was okay. She was there. Everything faded to black, but he just knew they never went back on the ship.
Kell felt the warmth on his face, once there and then gone, before he opened his eyes. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt the loss.
He was sure it was already morning, but he had to adjust his sight to the faint lantern lights of the captain’s cabin instead of the rays of the sun.
A sense of comfort washed over him, replacing the dread he thought he had felt right before waking up. Something had felt wrong.
He turned left, and his eyes met Lila’s. She was a welcome reminder that he was on her ship, and he wasn’t alone.
She had one of her legs propped up on the chair, while the other was on the floor. She frowned, as if she was deep in thought and he had interrupted her.
“Here, take it,” she offered him a glass of water. “Drink.”
Kell took it without question and drowned it in one gulp. His throat felt instantly cooler and less sore. It was like Lila had known what he needed before he knew. He sighed, and passed a hand through his hair. His hand came away wet, and when he touched his face, it was also wet. Too much sweat. Summer was approaching, after all.
“Trouble sleeping?” he asked her.
Lila’s mouth moved slightly, as if she was biting it from the inside. “Do you ever remember the things you dream about, Kell?”
Did he remember? “No, Lila. Not all the time.”
A little smile appeared on her face, but it was bittersweet. It didn’t reach her eyes. “Maybe it is meant to be like this. Maybe because it is too much.”
“What is?”
She looked hesitant. “The past,” she replied simply, and he sighed. “You still haven’t remembered it, right?”
“No, I don’t remember anything,” he repeated. Perhaps I don’t want to , he wanted to say. It’s not like I’ve lost a lot of years. What could have possibly happened in the first five years of my life? At least, that was what Tieren used to tell him. “Maybe there is nothing worth remembering.”
Lila sighed and moved the chair closer. “Or everything,” she said.
“Do you wish to forget?” he wondered tentatively. “About your past.”
She seemed to mull over the thought for a few seconds, and he wasn't sure she would reply. She rarely spoke about her life before they met. “My past doesn’t define my future,” she began sullenly, “but it’s what brought me here. Through thick and thin.”
Kell massaged his temples. He must have roused from his sleep because he had been dreaming, but despite the efforts, only random images floated in his short term memory. “I just remember something catching fire,” he whispered. “I was the one who started it.”
“Do you believe it is a real memory?”
“What if it is?” he wondered. “My magic must have appeared at some point. Maybe right then.”
Lila nodded, and then refilled his glass. She also took a glass of water for herself. This time, he was the one frowning. “What? It is stuffy.”
He drank, but slowly this time. She put their glasses back on her desk when he was done.
“I needed it.”
She grinned at him. “Water is life, after all.”
“So is sleep,” he countered. “You coming?”
“Make space,” Lila demanded, and she settled down next to him.
Kell closed his eyes, and wondered how much truth was in that dream he vaguely remembered. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
Lila woke up with a start.
She wasn’t a deep sleeper, but she had to admit she rested so much better on her ship. She knew it had to do with the person who shared her bed, and how he made her feel safe.
Kell wasn’t a light sleeper, and didn’t have issues with sleep. But that night, Lila could tell he was troubled, and all she could do was to make him feel safe.
He clenched his fist on the pillow, and he gritted his teeth. He was having a dream, and it must have been a dream that was causing him deep emotions.
She wasn’t sure she wanted to wake him or if she had to wake him. She had no clue. She touched his shoulder to try to calm him down, and he muttered her name in his sleep.
Was he dreaming about her? Was he asking her for help?
“It’s okay,” she said softly, and squeezed his hand. “I am here.”
He quieted at some point, but she couldn’t go back to sleep. She rose from the bed and lit the lantern on her desk, then filled a glass with water and went to sit down on a chair next to the bed.
Lila passed her hand through his hair, and caressed his warm forehead. He slept soundly, seemingly unbothered as if nothing had happened.
Then he stirred, and she wondered if she had woken him up. She retreated her hand from his face before he opened his eyes.