Work Text:
The dim light of Fontaine's midnight entered through the delicate glass of the Chief Justice's office, filling the place with a pale shade of blue. Two figures sat in comforting silence, reading through confidential documents and signing when necessary with the help of the orange light coming from the fireplace.
Neuvilette sat with perfect posture in his elegant office chair and Wriothesley lay messily on the nearby couch, trying to stay close to each-other in an appropriate manner.
The Chief Justice couldn't help but wonder what exactly led them to be in that situation in the first place. He invited the Duke personally, selfishly desiring his presence in a way that made him question his morality. Lately they had both been doing that more often, finding any excuse to spend extra time alone, even if it meant doing so in complete silence due to their busy schedules. Deep down Neuvilette knew the meeting was not completely necessary. After all, they could read documents by themselves in the comfort of their respective offices, and he was convinced that Wriothesley knew that as well, but there seemed to be this shared need for each other's company that was only growing over time.
The white-haired man could occasionally feel the younger's gaze upon him, a variable that caused a strange acceleration of his heartbeat. He had been studying human feelings for a long time, which made him gradually suspect that humanity was starting to rub off on him. Love, fear, joy, sorrow... those were all words that sounded empty to him, but that didn't mean that he didn't feel anything. He just couldn't find a name for it yet.
"Ugh, we've been working for hours now, if not days. I need something stronger than tea to keep this up." said the Duke, breaking the silence and covering his face with his scarred hands.
Neuvilette observed the man with curiosity, wondering if the fact that he hadn't left yet carried a deeper meaning than just politeness.
"I might have something perfect for you then, Your Grace." said the dragon, gracefully standing up and walking towards the beautiful cabinet that was mostly used to store waters from all over Teyvat. He came back with an expensive-looking bottle of wine and sat on the other side of the couch, signaling the start of a little break while handling a delicate glass to Wriothesley, who stared in subtle surprise.
"I've never seen you drinking Monsieur, must be a special occasion." said the black-haired man with a grin plastered on his face.
"Of course, Your Grace. It isn't common to be able to share some spare time with you, after all. We are both always attending our very important duties." responded Neuvilette, hiding perfectly the rush of adrenaline the comment put his body through.
"Well, now that we're not working, you know you can call me Wriothesley, right? I consider us to have a relationship beyond work at this point."
"Of course Wriothesley, I apologize for the formalities, it is habit by now."
"I understand, Neuvilette, no need to apologize." answered the man with a subtle grin, knowing how weird it must be for the Chief Justice to be called anything but Monsieur.
The older smiled, pouring the dark red liquid into the glasses.
They both raised a silent toast before sipping the substance, relaxing into the soft fabric of the couch.
A strange urge appeared within Neuvilette's thoughts, probably impulsed by the exhaustion of overworking himself, how late it was and the alcohol in the wine. He had the urge to ask his companion about all these questions he had been asking himself for years, about the reason behind his urge to be close to him, about the strange feeling he had in his stomach when the other fixed his tie, about the words behind the silence both shared most of the time...
He ultimately decided to hang onto at least some kind of sense, starting with a simple question that hopefully wouldn't make Wriothesley uncomfortable in any way.
What the distinguished Chief Justice did not consider was that his low tolerance to alcohol was starting to kick in, and the question came out a lot more blunt than he originally planned.
"Wriothesley, I've been asking myself, what exactly is love?"
The Duke stared in surprise into those lilac eyes, trying to find traces of clues that could determine if the dragon was joking or not. Once he decided that, apparently, the other was being completely serious, he started to think about the answer.
"That's quite a tough question..." he finally stated after staring at his glass for what seemed like an eternity.
"No need to bother with detailed descriptions, I'm more curious about its connection to the human brain and it's effect. How it feels." added Neuvilette, trying to take pressure out of the other's shoulders.
"I mean, in theory love is quite a simple and over-explored concept, but it is hard to know exactly what it is if you never really felt... loved."
Neuvilette let the silence help the sentence sink-in. He stared deep into Wriothesley's eyes with a peculiar mixture of pity and curiosity, waiting for a continuation.
The Duke thought twice before continuing. For some reason, opening up further about his past seemed so simple while accompanied by the comfort of the Chief Justice's presence.
"You know my past, Monsieur, I'm convinced you read about it in documents just like these around twenty years ago. My adoptive parents clearly never loved me; Neither did my biological parents, I assume; My personal life is often limited to work relationships and one of the few people I consider to love right now is Sigewinne, who I see as a daughter, but am not completely sure she feels emotions the way humans do. It can be a bit isolating at times."
Neuvilette thought about his answer for a moment. It made sense, in his head, that a feeling would only be fully understood when it was felt. However, he couldn't help but want to dive further into the complexities of love. Is the feeling of being loved the same one as loving? Are there different kinds of love? For example, if Wriothesley were to love him, would it be the same kind of love he felt towards Sigewinne? If Neuvilette were to love the Duke, would it feel the same way it feels to love the melusines?
As if he could read the dragon's mind, the man added to his reasoning:
"I, of course, understand the logical part of love. There is platonic love, romantic love, passion, simple attraction... I don't know how those manifest in one's head and body, but I understand those as concepts."
"Sounds reasonable enough..." added the older man. "I just wonder if it is something easy to recognize once one feels it."
Wriothesley stared into the ceiling, deep in thought. Although his alcohol tolerance was considerably higher than Neuvilette's, the exhaustion and the adrenaline were also blurring the filters of his mind, letting himself get naturally carried away by the topic of the conversation.
"If my experience helps in any way, I consider that deep love, aside from the paternal one I may have towards Sigewinne, feels almost like fear." said the blue-eyed man, still looking at the ceiling and laying with horrible posture. "Well, I'm not quite sure if it is love yet, that's why I did not add it to my previous list, but it somehow feels different." he continued, slightly afraid of starring into the other's eyes.
"How so? Is that other love something that scares you?" asked Neuvilette, genuinely curious.
"Not exactly. The way my heart accelerates, the adrenaline that flows through my veins and the fight-or-flight reaction I get is somehow pleasant when it comes to this case."
Wriothesley's cheeks were subtly tinted with red, something the man hoped the other would attribute to the consumption of alcohol.
The Iudex stopped to think for a moment. Those "symptoms" the man had described sounded like a clear signal of danger, in what world could those feel like some kind of pleasure? However, he somehow understood the other's statement. Sometimes he also felt that strong distress that made his knees weak, but that at the same time made him want to ask for more. It was some sort of relief to know it wasn't just him being some kind of masochist.
"I resonate with that feeling. I have read in multiple works of literature that most individuals describe that feeling as having butterflies on one's stomach, but to me it feels more like a fire trying to climb from my abdomen to my throat." added Neuvilette, subconsciously copying the Duke's posture. "Although it does feel addicting most of the time, I must add."
"Who would've guessed, could it possibly be that the distinguished Iudex has a crush?" asked Wriothesley sarcastically, playfully grinning and looking for the first time in a while into the other's eyes.
"A... crush?"
"Oh, my mistake, the word might be too coloquial for your excellency to understand. A crush refers to a romantic or sexual infatuation towards someone. You know, feeling the fire on your abdomen, the adrenaline, finding them attractive..."
"Oh, in that case, I consider that the diagnosis does match the symptoms to a certain degree."
Wriothesley seemed a little surprised. He stared at Neuvilette's face, expecting for the older man to laugh and announce that it was all just an innocent joke. The Iudex's ability to take his sarcastic teasing literally was both amusing and nerve-racking.
They both stayed in silence for a few seconds, looking at each other like shame wasn't a real concept.
"Have you never felt this way before?" asked Wriothesley, lowering his tone of voice like he used to do when he was nothing but a shy and troubled kid. The whisper traveled the short distance between them like a breeze, getting to Neuvilette's ears as he assessed his past and present.
"I would be lying if I said I hadn't found other individuals attractive before, I have a lot of life experience after all." he answered, still locking his gaze to the other's light blue eyes. "But nothing ever felt like this. I wonder if it is because I had a couple of decades to get closer to this individual."
Wriothesley wanted to ask something along the lines of "Who is the lucky lady?", but the crushing tension between them seemed to silently answer that question.
"What about you, Wriothesley? Have you felt this way before?" asked Neuvilette, wondering why the other had stayed silent.
"Never." he answered instantly, almost impulsively. "Don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of lovers in the past, but they were faint flames compared to this one. Maybe this feeling started that way as well, but I slowly fed it too much fuel and now it is nothing but burning and consuming. It grew so slowly that I only noticed it recently, when it was far too late."
"Far too late for what?" asked the dragon, feeling the other's warm breath against his skin.
"To put it down without further damage. To ignore it and wait for it to die down."
Silence reigned once again as Neuvilette processed The Duke's words. The blue hues that illuminated the rest of the room seemed irrelevant when compared to the warm light of the fireplace that lit up Wriothesley's cheeks. They were now so close that their breaths were slowly becoming one and they could almost hear their heartbeats breaking the dead silence of an empty Palais Mermonia.
"What a great analogy." the Iudex finally said. "Fire and love, I mean. It keeps you warm, but it can burn you; It lights your way, but it can blind you; It can be dangerous, destructive, merciless... but it is necessary for human life."
Wriothesley nodded, agreeing with the other.
"There is only one key difference." argued the dark-haired man, adjusting his tie as if it were choking him while Neuvilette continued to stare. "Not even primordial water can extinguish this kind of fire. Not even you, not even Foçalors."
"So you consider that this will never go away? Even if things do not resolve themselves the way you wanted them to?"
"I believe that the fire could become just a faint flame once again, but I am convinced that I will never be able look at that person in the eyes again without being at least a bit burnt."
They both stayed silent for a moment as the Chief Justice nodded. It seemed that the sentiment Wriothesley was describing matched perfectly all of those things he felt in his bones but could not express verbally.
"Is it just fire? What you feel, I mean. Does this love only manifest within yourself?" the dragon continued to ask, trying to piece every last part of the puzzle together.
"Oh, not at all. I don't know how it might be for you, but I carry an overwhelming amount of care and respect for this person. Not a day goes by where they don't occupy my thoughts and I will always have the impulse to at least be there when they need me."
As The Duke continued to stare into the other's eyes, he could catch a glimpse of pink rising to the surface of Neuvilette's cheeks. He couldn't help but sweetly smile at the sight.
"Wriothesley, do you recall that day, years ago, when you found me under the rain and handed me an umbrella?" asked the Iudex, breaking the silence.
"I do." answered The Duke, still having the memory clear in his mind. "You looked troubled, but I could feel that I was interrupting something."
"Well, the thing is that I actually enjoy the rain. Feeling it pour over me washes my pain away, it is liberating." said Neuvilette, softening his tone of voice to match the vulnerability he was showing.
"Oh, in that case I apologize. I didn't mean to bother you."
"You may have interrupted that moment, but you were there. I did not need to call out for you, and you did not require an explanation. We were not as close back then either, yet you still made me feel heard without saying a word. That is the kind of connection that fuels the flame that I feel, the comfort of wanting to be there for someone and knowing that they are there for you."
Wriothesley's cheeks became a darker tone of pink as he momentarily lowered his gaze. The gap between them got shorter every minute, and he couldn't help but feel some sort of expectation.
"I strongly agree." he eventually answered, looking back up. "Of course attraction influences my feelings to certain degree, but the flame is not only fueled by some sort of lust, what weights the most is that feeling of comfort, like the warmth of a fireplace during a cold winter night. That desire to be there with the other person. That loyalty that will not go away even if they betray me."
They both smiled in complete silence, looking again into each other's soul as if they were in a transe.
"I wonder who that special person is in your case, Wriothesley." said Neuvilette, speaking his mind without any kind of filter.
"I think you know exactly who it is." answered the younger man.
The Iudex's eyes opened in surprise and a deeper blush started to show once he fully understood what The Duke implied. His mind frantically tried to warn him to be cautious. It couldn't be him, logically. He was desperately trying to grasp the last bit of sense his inebriated brain left behind.
However, simultaneously, his heart was screaming for him to read the room. To feel that papable tension. To acknowledge the warm gaze the other had when looking at his face.
He quickly realized that overworking himself was a bad idea. Staying up so late was a pretty bad idea. Inviting Wriothesley without any justified reason was a very bad idea. Drinking wine was definitely a bad idea, and falling in love with the other was probably the worst unconscious idea his heart had ever had.
But that didn't matter then. That didn't matter when he suddenly felt the other's lips on his own in an unorganized and passionate manner. That didn't matter when he could finally wrap his arms around the man's neck without any shame. That didn't matter when he felt the other pull him closer by the waist.
The kiss was warm, warm like the flames that filled their hearts. The tenderness of their touch wasn't enough to appropriately portray how much they respected and cared for each other.
And once their lungs ran out of air, they separated their lips just to come closer again for a strong embrace.
"I don't think you will ever understand how much I craved that. I don't fully comprehend it myself." whispered Wriothesley, hiding his face in the dragon's neck.
"I think you are sub-estimating how much I've wanted you, dear." answered Neuvilette, his lips forming a sweet smile. "You are my greatest bad idea, after all."