Work Text:
Ochako is skeptical.
She’s sat in a fancy restaurant, dress hugging her curves uncomfortably so, and sipping a Shirley Temple. She had briefly, foolishly, thought about ordering a beer before Mina’s voice rang through her head, scolding her for making a bad impression by ordering a “guy drink”. After, Ochako’s own conscience kicked in and scolded herself for almost ordering an alcoholic drink on a first date. Her mother raised her to be more careful than that.
Ochako lifts her thigh to take a peek at her phone screen that shows the time: 7:27pm. She had come very early, - the agreed upon time being 8pm - wanting to have time to acquaint herself with the space before her date arrived. Ochako isn’t some clueless, naive little girl. She has wrote scenarios all too similar to this one, so she knows how she needs to be careful and how to construct the evening so it doesn’t end in her gruesome murder.
To be completely honest, if it was up to her, she wouldn’t even be on this date. Using dating apps is sketchy, but Mina had gone behind her back and downloaded Search and Find - even going through the trouble of creating an account. It was some new, up-and-coming dating service that matched you with someone who has similar search histories as you. Ochako had nearly kicked Mina out when she discovered it hidden within her phone’s pages.
“An app that can track my search history? Are you crazy, Mina?” Ochako had yelled, frantically trying to figure out how she could delete all the data without wiping her entire phone.
“They promise not to sell it to third-party companies, and no one reads it! It just goes straight into their matching program. I read the terms and agreements!” Mina wailed as she explained herself.
Safe to say, Ochako was still pissy about it all. She made Mina sleep over at Toru’s for a whole week before begrudgingly letting her back into their shared apartment. She understood that Mina was just trying to look out for her and her chronic single status, but this was going too far. Ochako was mid-exchanging heavily worded emails with the app’s owner to try and get her information removed, when it alerted her that she had a match. Ochako was alarmed, given her search history probably looked like a serial killer’s. But, not only was she alarmed, she was intrigued.
Ochako is a highly accredited and widely renowned murder-mystery/horror author. She has been on three book tours, published upwards of fifteen times, and is currently creating a new series: “Love Written in Blood”. Her editor and agency are really pushing for her to branch into romance, so she’s giving it a whirl. And if it’s purely for the paycheck… that’s her business. Ochako simply loves to write. She loves the headspace she enters, when the words seem to flow from her fingers and through the keyboard without hesitation. It brings her peace, even as she writes about entrails and bodies being dismembered. However, in the romance world, she is sorely uneducated. If she counts the highschool, on-and-off -gain, puppy-love relationship she had with Izuku, she has exactly one experience under her belt. Ochako has tried plenty of times to find the one , but she never clicks. All of her friends like to tease her about being high-maintenance or say her standards are in the clouds, but Ochako knows what a loving, healthy relationship should look like. Her parents have been married for over thirty years and still act like they’re in the honeymoon phase. Ochako is simply holding out for the person who makes her feel the way her mom raves about. Because of her lack of expertise in the love category, and with the new series she’s being encouraged to write, Ochako doesn’t follow through with deleting the app and decides to see if this date will give her any inspiration.
Ochako takes another sip of her drink and smiles politely at the waiter who nods his head at her as he passes once more. She giggles to herself, amused by the idea that the poor employee may think she’s being stood up. Suddenly, a blur of navy blue enters her vision, and she jolts in her seat. The blur becomes solid after it abruptly stops next to the table. A broad, handsome man is breathing deeply through his nostrils, as if trying not to outwardly pant. His hair is gelled back, but a single strand is askew and hangs down onto his forehead. Ochako finds that single strand charming, especially when he hurries to smooth it back atop his head.
“I apologize deeply for my tardiness,” the man’s voice is smooth, and his model articulation draws Ochako in. “I hope you haven’t been waiting long. I’m Tenya Iida, please call me Tenya.”
Ochako smiles kindly, “you’re not late, at all! I just showed up really early. It’s nice to meet you Tenya. I’m Ochako Uraraka!” She flushes with embarrassment, “I’m not used to places as fancy as this and wanted to practice with the menu.”
The man - Tenya - makes a small chopping motion with his hand and shakes his head as he takes his seat across from her.
“Nonsense. I should have been here earlier so I could assist you with your chair and look over the menu with you, like a true gentleman.” Tenya pushes his glasses up with a single finger and begins to look over the menu. “Have you discovered anything you’d like to try?”
Ochako reprimands herself as the blush refuses to leave her face, this time due to admiration of Tenya’s thoughtfulness. She reminds herself that this is just for the sake of research.
“Well, there are a lot of things I’m not familiar with,” Ochako has been trying to figure out where the prices are this whole time, but she’s starting to accept that this place is so fancy, they don’t tell you the prices.
“Tell me your favorite foods, and I can find something to your liking,” Tenya peers up at her from above his lenses, and Ochako can feel the heat radiating off of her cheeks.
His eyes are such a dark red that they almost appear black. It’s a contrast from his blue-black hair and navy suit; she’s drawn in by the difference. His eyes are like veins full of oxygen poor, inky blood, and she swims in them. After what feels like years of drowning, he blinks, and Ochako is reminded that he prompted her. She shakes her head minutely, trying to dispel the heaviness, and clears her throat.
“I love all kinds of food. I’m not picky,” Ochako quietly responds and hides behind her menu.
“ What is happening to me ,” Ochako despairs. “ I’ve just met this man, but he’s already making me drop my guard. ”
“Well then, I can just share my favorite with you,” Tenya sets the menu down and raises his hand, catching the attention of the waiter that has been stalking their table. “Excuse me, sir, I believe we are ready to order our appetizers.”
“Appetizers?” Ochako cocks her head, and Tenya smiles at her confusion.
“This is the appetizer menu, Ochako,” Ochako’s heart pounds at the sound of her name coming out of his mouth. “We have five courses in total, and we’ll be receiving five menus.”
Ochako’s mouth fills with saliva as her mind fills with dread, “I - ah…”
“I’ll take care of everything, of course,” Tenya assures her, and Ochako’s spit filled mouth almost drops open in surprise, but she quickly gulps and shuts it with a click. Tenya turns his attention to the patient waiter, “we’ll have the sweet potato crostini and baked brie with figs, pistachios, and orange, please.”
“Right away, sir. Anything to drink?”
“No, thank you.” Tenya nods thankfully to the waiter, who excuses himself and promptly sets towards the kitchen.
“You’re not drinking?” Ochako asks, curious.
“I’m not a fan of alcohol. It dulls my senses,” Tenya explains, and Ochako’s heart flutters.
“Smart,” she nods in agreement, and something changes in his eyes, just a flash of an emotion she can’t place.
“I can assume that your drink is non-alcoholic as well, then?” Tenya’s eyes look inquisitively at her half gone drink.
“I do like a drink or two at home,” Ochako finds herself answering more than the question. “But, I’m not a fan of drinking on first dates. It dulls my senses,” she winks over her glass at him when she takes her next drink.
Again, another flash in his eyes. Tenya huffs a small laugh through his nose and parries right back, “smart.”
Their appetizers’ arrival interrupts the teasing, and Tenya beats Ochako to the punch. He fills her plate with a few of both and gives himself the exact amount. She can’t help but blush again at the treatment, and thanks him before trying the sweet potato crostinis. The crisp, crunch of the bread and soft, warm sweet potato take Ochako to heaven through the intense but complementary flavors that explode on her tongue. She closes her eyes and savors the bite, wiggling a little in her seat. When she opens them, she finds Tenya watching her with a smile on his face. She freezes and quickly breaks eye contact in embarrassment. All of her exes, from her short-lived romances, had made fun of her for the quirky habit.
“You must be the type of person that enjoys good food so much, your body can’t help but move around,” Tenya observes, and Ochako hurries to swallow the bite and salvage the situation. “That’s endearing. I can’t wait for you to try the others.”
“O-Oh,” Ochako’s surprise is obvious. “Well, I can’t wait either. This is amazing. Thank you, Tenya,” she offers back a smile of her own and is pleased to see the tips of his ears pinken.
“It’s my pleasure, and the least I can do. I was quite surprised when the app notified me of a match. I’ve had it since its development, as my roommate from college is the one who created it,” Tenya finishes his slice of baked brie and dabs his mouth with the cloth napkin.
“To be honest, I didn’t even download the app myself, so the notification was a surprise for me, too!” Ochako laughs softly to herself. “My friend decided I hadn’t been out on a date in too long and secretly put it on my phone.”
“My goodness,” Tenya reaches to get another crostini, using his opposite hand to hold his jacket sleeve so it doesn’t get anything on it. “Your friend cares quite a lot, to go to that length.”
“A little too much,” Ochako sighs under her breath, but Tenya hears it and chuckles.
“Well, I hope you’re still not too mad at her,” he teases, and Ochako’s returning smile is easy.
“I guess I can forgive her,” she shrugs, and they laugh.
The portions are small so it isn’t long before their next menus are delivered. Tenya grabs them both before handing one over to Ochako. She cannot read what’s embossed on the front, most likely French, and opens it to see if she can figure it out through context clues. Ochako catches the word ‘soup’ tacked on to one of the options, and her exhale is one of relief.
“What do you recommend this time?” Ochako prompts Tenya.
“You don’t have any allergies, correct?” Tenya asks, and she shakes her head. “Then, I would suggest either the creamy shrimp and crab bisque or the french onion soup.”
“Which are you getting?” Ochako feels like she’s read this tactic somewhere before. “We could both get something different and have some of each others’?” She forms it like a question, so he won’t feel pressured to say yes.
“That’s a great idea,” Tenya nods his head and sets his menu down, reaching towards Ochako with an open palm to take her menu. Within a minute, the waiter is back to take their next order, clearing their empty dishes as he listens. “We’ll take one of the seafood bisque and one french onion soup, with extra dehydrated crisps on the side, please,” Tenya smoothly orders, and once again, returns their menus to their waiter.
Ochako goes to finish her drink and finds a full replacement glass waiting for her. She takes a drink and sets it back atop the napkin.
“Earlier,” she begins, “what did you mean when you said you were surprised by the match?”
For the first time, Tenya hesitates before he answers.
“Well, the app resources its data from one’s search history, so I wasn’t expecting to be matched with anyone. Mine is quite… eccentric,” Tenya explains slowly, as if he’s choosing his words carefully.
He maintains eye contact while he speaks, and Ochako is once again enraptured by his unique eyes. They flash again with that unknown emotion, and she decides that she’s tired of playing it safe. There is something about this man that makes him different from all the others she’s been bored by, and Ochako has to figure out what.
“I had the same thought!” Ochako, manners be damned, leans forward onto the table with her chin in her hands. “My search history is kind of like a serial killers,” she laughs at the idea but is interrupted by the sound of Tenya choking on his drink.
Water dribbles out of the corners of his mouth, and he hurries to wipe the streams away. Ochako stands and reaches over the table, offering her cloth napkin she had been using to catch crumbs. He takes it gratefully and mops up the water he had splashed onto the tables.
“I-I am very sorry. I was taken aback,” Tenya stutters, head bowed as he dabs at the drying wet spot on the tablecloth. “You’re humorous!”
Ochako tilts her head at his sudden change in demeanor. His confident, smooth act is gone and has been replaced by a shy, bumbling behavior. He clears his throat quietly and folds Ochako’s napkin before setting it at the edge of the table. He won’t lift his head high enough to look at her, but Ochako is only more intrigued.
Her gut tells her to continue with her train of thought, “I mean, to be honest, my most recent search is ‘how long would it take for someone to die after being stabbed in the stomach’.”
“From anywhere between minutes and days,” Tenya replies almost immediately, and it seems, without even thinking.
They both blink at each other, before Ochako’s mouth splits open in a wide grin.
“How do you know that just off the top of your head?” She asks, sitting on the edge of her seat and staring at Tenya’s blank face.
“Um,” Tenya’s eyes look up to her left before settling back at her face. “I have an inquisitive mind and often look up obscure questions so I know the answers to them.”
“So, if I were to ask how to get away with murder?” Ochako tilts forward, lifting one of her eyebrows up.
“Plenty of people think that it’s impossible,” Tenya offers.
“But, I have a feeling you aren’t one of those people,” Ochako nods, trying to encourage him.
Tenya cocks his head at her, studying her with those deep eyes. She feels completely vulnerable, like he’s dissecting her and looking at her every cell under a microscope. She knows she should feel uneasy or awkward from the attention, but it just makes her heart pitter patter and her face warm up. After finding what he was looking for, Tenya copies Ochako’s position: elbows on the table and chin atop his fist.
“I’d like to hear your answer first,” he plays.
“Boo,” Ochako sticks her tongue out at him, and he laughs through his nose. “I know that most women commit crimes of passion against people they know, so I would obviously have to not do that. I would pick a random person, not even bother to learn their name, and make it look like a random mugging or something. The hardest part is not leaving DNA, so I’d find clothes in a dumpster or landfill, wear gloves, tie my hair back, and wear a hood. I’d kill in a place that’s not too busy, but not so secluded that people assume I was following the person or luring them there. I wouldn’t use a murder weapon - there’s too many ways to get caught with those. I’d use the heel of my palm and break their nose into their brain, but I would wrap my hand so that it wouldn’t bruise. I wouldn’t go back home after it. I’d use a public restroom to flush the gloves down the toilet, washing away any evidence. The clothes I got from the landfill would be thrown in the trash cans behind the old Staley’s factory - you know, the ones people light on fire at night? I’d start a fire and leave it to burn. That’s how I’d get away with murder.”
Tenya hums and leans back into his chair, “what about the street cameras?”
“I’d do my research beforehand and make sure that there weren’t any that would catch me in the act or in the clothes,” Ochako counters.
“But, if there’s one that you miss?” Tenya pushes.
“Tenya,” Ochako flirts. “I write books about murdering people and getting away with it. I wouldn’t miss one.”
His smile slides into a handsome grin, and Ochako preens at the attention.
“Your turn,” she throws the ball into his court.
“I do the opposite,” Tenya starts. “I find someone specific - someone that’s done something horrible but hasn’t paid the price. I speak with them online at a public location, on a public computer, with a disguise, and a different account each time. They agree to meet with me at a private location that requires a multitude of confusing turns and cut-offs so that cameras cannot track them. At said private location, I drug them with a high dose of lorazepam that sedates them. While unconscious, they are thoroughly cleaned as to eradicate any evidence of myself or the private location they are at. Then, they are transported to a sterile room where nothing could be transferred onto the body. When they wake, they are questioned of their crimes and oftentimes, confess to them. After confessing, I insert a 26 gauge I.V. in between their toes and allow air to enter their bloodstream. After almost twenty minutes, they will succumb either from respiratory failure, heart failure, or stroke. Once they are deceased, their blood is drained and stored; and all hair on their body must be plucked by the follicle so that there is nothing forensics can use to run a toxicology report. The body is then put into an oil drum that contains lye at a high temperature, and it will dissolve within three hours. After three days, the lye hardens, and soap is created and sold online across the world. That’s how I get away with murder.”
Ochako’s jaw had been open since the first sentence. She gapes silently at the man sitting in front of her and is about to respond when their waiter drops off their soups. Neither Tenya nor Ochako acknowledge the waiter as he tells them to enjoy, and neither of them move to begin to eat once he leaves. Ochako takes a deep breath, in through her nose and out through pursed lips, and Tenya tenses when she opens her mouth to speak.
“This probably reflects poorly on me, but I don’t care: do you want to get out of here?” Ochako asks, practically vibrating in her seat.
“Ah, I’m sorry,” Tenya apologizes and stands up. “That was incredibly crude and inappropriate of me to speak about at dinner; I must have misunderstood the-.”
“Wait!” Ochako stands up quickly to mirror him. “Let me rephrase. Do you want to get out of here with me?”
Tenya freezes where he stands, and it’s his turn to drop his jaw.
“Y-You’d like to leave with me?” Tenya asks.
“The food has been amazing, and I’d love to come back sometime,” Ochako steps around the table and stands beside Tenya, one of her arms brushing up his own to hook around his elbow. “But, that was like something out of my craziest dreams, and I’m feeling a bit reckless.”
Tenya looks down at the beautiful woman hanging off of his arm, peering up at him through thick, fluttering lashes and between strands of brunette hair. Her face is flushed, has been all night, and her eyes are glistening with something he can’t quite name. It makes his heart stutter and the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He feels like prey, and a warmth swirls deep in his gut.
“I believe I’m feeling a bit reckless, as well,” he replies and opens his wallet with efficiency to throw a few hundred dollar bills onto the table. “Would you like to visit my home?”
“More than anything,” Ochako breathes, and they’re out the door.