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Isn't it unfair? How things have returned to normal, but not everything feels completely as they were before?
Rae and I have been sitting next to each other in class since the school year began. She had been my maid for around as long too. But somehow, it feels like there is much more significance to those facts now.
Well, I mean… Something did change. Rae finally sought my affections for the first time. And due to Oneesama’s actions a little after that, I slipped out some words I didn’t mean to say out loud, that Rae is mine. I got so carried away with the moment that I got overwhelmed by my emotions. But Rae, is my Rae. And I have come to acknowledge how genuine her love is for me. As for myself…
My eyes wandered to my side. Rae Taylor is beside me with her usual grin. She is taking notes while our teacher continues to explain some historical events. It’s not that I was not paying attention to class. But lately, since the Amour festival, I always find myself distracted. And that distraction is now staring back at me with her head tilted to one side, which was just cute. Okay, wait I didn’t say that.
“C-Claire-sama? Is everything okay?” Rae whispered to me. “Do you need anything?”
I felt some heat attempting to form around my cheeks, so I returned my attention to our teacher.
“Nothing important. I just caught you grinning.” Whispering back to her, my hand started moving again catching up on the lecture notes. “Just what is it exactly that you find funny in this class?”
She let out soft musical giggles making my heart race faster. My hand stopped once again, and I was unable to stop the urge to look over her direction once again. Then I was met by her radiating smile.
“I am just happy to be sitting next to you peacefully again.”
See. This is what I meant by unfair.
Rae returned her attention to our teacher, her facial expression back to normal as if nothing happened. I, on the other hand, looked away pouting, heat creeping up to my cheeks. No one could fault me that I was unable to focus on our class after that. I would have to ask Rae for her notes later that day.
***
We have one week left before the summer break starts. Which also meant, I only have a few days left to show that I, Claire Francois, can ask my Rae out for an excursion. Why did I even agreed to doing this? I was just caught on the spot by Rod-sama and the others. And every time they get the chance, they give me an expectant look. It’s almost as if they want to ask me for my progress like it is an assignment that I must report back to them.
I sighed. We had a few minutes before our next lecture will begin, so Rae excused herself to go to the toilet. Chatters of the other students filled the room. Some of them are probably making plans for the afternoon already. As for myself, I couldn’t be bothered. I still have not came up with a plan to ask Rae out. It should not be this hard.
I am her employer. I could just ask her to accompany me to—
I bit my nails cutting my own thoughts. If I did it that way, it would be just like any other excursion we’ve had before. An excursion between a master and a servant. Not that of…
I hit my face with my palm before I could finish that embarrassing statement. It was all Rae’s fault that I am also acting strange now.
No one, especially a commoner, would decline an invitation from a noble such as myself. With that knowledge, and how Rae is, there is no way she would decline an invitation from me. However, that doesn’t feel right. I don’t like to think that a part of her was just obliged to come with me. Although I doubt that she would feel that way, still…
As I am taking out my own textbook for the next class, I noticed that Rae had already taken out her textbook. She may not seem like it with how she usually behaves, but Rae is quite responsible. I shouldn’t even question that. There is no denying how devoted Rae is to me that she even loves my bullying.
My bullying.
I took her textbook and flipped through the pages. Then I saw the page with doodles on it which I recognize very well. It was the same book I hid from her before, and the doodle was done by yours truly. I realized now how childish that was. Sighing to myself, I continued to flip through the pages and saw something else.
When Rae returned, she gave me a look of confusion at first as she sat down beside me. And then, as realization hits her, she smiled widely and clasped my hands between her hands.
“Claire-sama!”
Yes. This makes her happy. Strangely enough, this is a reward for her.
I hid her textbook once again like what I did before. And as expected, Rae reacted similarly.
“I seemed to have lost my textbook. Could you please share your textbook with me, Claire-sama?” Her eyes were sparkling.
“You have already scooted closer. What else can I do?”
“Thank you very much! Ehehe~”
“Hmmph!”
I pulled my hands from her and looked away to hide my embarrassment. Enjoy your reward for now Rae Taylor.
***
“Rae, I have a question for you.”
Perhaps, it had been the suddenness, and my serious tone. Or it had been the way I was acting during our outing, that Rae stopped what she was doing, and all tensed up looked at me.
“What is it, Claire-sama?”
Yes. That’s right. I was finally able to go out with Rae not as master-servant. However, it was rather a quick one. I am even not so sure if I can call it the excursion I was thinking of. She probably doesn’t even realize what I was trying to do. She said that she had some personal business to take care of, and to her surprise I insisted on coming with her. The fact that it was a hot summer day, which she knows I am not so fond of and yet I insisted on going with her, should have been a hint to her already. But no. Of all the times for her to be slow on picking things up. Right after finishing her business, we went back to the academy. She was making me a crème brûlée when I spoke up.
“Who gave you the gerbera daisy?”
I looked at her sharply, but she could only stare back cluelessly.
“What are you talking about, Claire-sama?”
Looks like I will have to spell it out for her.
“Remember your textbook from the other day?”
“Yes! Thanks for the treat, Claire-sama!”
“Be quiet!”
She stiffened once again. Looking at my expression was probably enough for her to realize that I was being serious.
“Who gave you the flower that was pressed on that book?”
The other thing I found on her book last time was a pressed gerbera daisy flower. It didn’t look like it had been placed there recently. So, it must have been given to her from a while back. With my thoughts filled with how I should ask her out, this also invaded my thoughts. That there was someone who gave Rae a flower, and that someone was important enough for her to accept and even keep the flower like this. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil.
I’ve had a few suspects. The first one was Rod-sama. He explicitly said that he is interested in Rae. Even if Rae didn’t want to accept it, she couldn’t possibly refuse it because Rod-sama is a prince. But if so, she would have thrown it away by now. So, it was not Rod-sama.
The next possible person was Misha. Misha is her best friend. And it is possible if Misha gives her something, Rae will keep it. But why would Misha ever give her a flower?
There is also the possibility of Lene giving Rae the flower. They were quite close. And if ever Lene really did gave her the flower, the reason could be something like appreciation. I could tell from when we parted ways, Lene is grateful also to Rae. And I would feel more relieved if it was Lene.
Relieved about what? In the first place, I shouldn’t pry into this. It shouldn’t matter to me who gives her flowers and why. But I was still unable to rule out the possibility that it was Misha who gave her the flower. And knowing that Rae is only interested in women, for some reason, it doesn’t sit well with me that Misha could have been just as important for her to keep the gerbera daisy all this time.
I tried my best to suppress my feelings. My arms were crossed to my body, with a brow raised as I waited for her to answer. Rae looked to be deep in thoughts for some minutes, hand on her chin. Then her face lit up as if she finally remembered. I gripped tighter on my arms anticipating her response.
“It was you, Claire-sama.”
What? When did I give her a flower?
Rae resumed with what she was doing. All the tension seemed to have left her. “Don’t you remember? It was around the beginning of the school year, and Claire-sama started showering me with love~”
“W-Wha-!”
I grew flustered with the memories resurfacing in my mind. Just like with the book, I did other things to bully her just a few months back. One of it, the worse of all, was leaving a flower on her table which signifies death.
“Didn’t I tell you? I will press it and carry it with me always. It was Claire-sama’s first gift to me after all.”
It wasn’t the intended message when I picked that flower for her. I don’t know if she was just being too optimistic to take it that way, or she just didn’t know what my action signified back then. And yet, she really kept it. She was serious about it.
Rather than feeling ashamed of myself, that fact brought me extreme joy. Rae kept the flower just because it was something she received from me. It was the first thing she received from me. I held the amulet that was resting on my chest, beneath my uniform. As the warmth spread inside me, I clenched my hand to a fist.
There’s no way my heart is throbbing so fast because of that.
I let my bangs cover my eyes, and a hand covering my cheeks so Rae wouldn’t notice the wave of emotions overwhelming me.
***
The beginning of summer break finally came. Father and I will be coming to our vacation house in Euclid. Rae, of course, will be coming with us, saying she will follow me wherever I go. Also, Misha, after some serious convincing, will ride in our carriage because Euclid is her hometown, and so is Rae’s. Mind you, they are childhood friends.
I left Rae in my room to finish packing my things. Father will meet us later by the academy gate, but it surely wouldn’t be long from now. I only have a very limited time. Walking around the garden, I tried my luck in search of a flower I can give to her. After discovering that she kept that flower which came from me with ill intentions, I felt like I must make up for it somehow. I would not call it guilt. But more like, I feel the need to convey something to her. Something I couldn’t find the words for currently. Because I couldn’t even deny to myself how I felt when Rae knelt in front of me back in the Amour festival. All the small gestures she does for me which I became more aware of recently. And how she treasured something just because it came from me.
“Oh, good morning, Claire-sama.”
An old lady greeted me as she noticed me approaching. She stood up straight, putting down the shovel she was holding. The old lasdy looks like she is one of the academy staffs who tends to the garden.
“Good morning.” I greeted back. My fingers fidget at the hem of my sleeves. Now that I came here, I’m starting to feel embarrassed at the thought of giving Rae a flower. I know the old lady would not pry into it if I asked her for help, but still, it is not an easy request to make. Thankfully, the old lady saved me from the trouble.
“Would you like some flowers?” She smiled to me; her hand pointed to the flower bed she was tending to. They were red and white Camellias. “They are out of season now, and soon will just wither and die.”
Camellia huh… If I remember correctly, the red and white means…
“Claire-sama? Are you alright? Your face is seemed to be turning red. Do you need some water?”
Before the old lady starts panicking more, I waved my hands in front of her.
“No, I’m alright. There is nothing to worry about.”
It appears that, just remembering the meaning of the Camellias made my face hot. Perhaps it will do. The message it conveys, wouldn’t it be too passionate? But it’s not like Rae would know about the flower language, or at least she would not bother to remember them, right?
“U-umm…” With lingering hesitation, I took her up on her offer anyway. It would be a waste not to take a beautiful flower. “Yes, I would like some flowers. But just one of each. I don’t need that many.”
The old lady’s face lit up, and happily oblige to my request. And while I’m sure she has absolutely no idea what I plan with the flowers, I was caught off guard by her parting words.
“Take care, Claire-sama. And good luck!”
I could only respond with a nod as I walk away. Taking deep breathes to calm my nerves, I made my way back into my room.
“Welcome back, Claire-sama! I have already packed all your things.”
Rae greeted, having set down one of the luggage outside the room. I immediately put my hand behind my back so she wouldn’t see the Camellias right away.
“Claire-sama, what is that?” Curiously, Rae tried to peek over my shoulders to see what I was hiding. I was quick enough to step back preventing her from seeing it.
“W-Where’s Misha?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
“Oh, she’s already waiting by the gate.”
“I see…”
Once again, Rae tried to peek over my shoulder. I turned to the opposite side, but she also reacted quick enough to switch on that side. We repeated that cycle for a few moments until my frustration grew and just gave up.
Releasing a groan, I raised my hand, so the Camellias ended up to her face on the next turn she tried to peek. “Take them.” Was what I managed to say, glancing away from her.
Rae was about to take them, but on second thoughts. my hand pulled them away from her.
“Claire-sama?”
“Don’t get the wrong idea, Rae. I had them picked because the old lady said they were dying soon. It will just be a waste.”
I handed her the white Camellia first. You’re adorable.
Then, in a much slower pace, I handed her the red Camellia. You’re a flame in my heart.
I could feel the heat creeping to my cheeks once again as I recite the meaning of both flowers in my mind. I watched her expression as she accepted the flowers. I couldn’t tell if she knows the flower language, or not. Regardless, she looked happy. And that look brings a pleasant feeling inside of me as well.
“You better keep that, rather than that flower from the other day. Camellias are much more beautiful than a funeral flower.”
“Claire-sama!”
“W-What?”
Rae gasped in excitement, wrapping her arms around me suddenly. “I love you!” she exclaimed.
My face grew hotter as usual. “L-Let go of me!” I tried to push her away, but Rae only tightened her embrace even more.
“No! I won’t let you go! I love you, Claire-sama!”
I resigned to my fate and let her have her fill of hug. It took few more minutes before I was able to convince her to finally let go. My father was already waiting for us by the time we got to the academy gate.
Seriously, my Rae is too cheeky for a commoner. And she can be too unfair. But…
I might just love that about her too.