Work Text:
It sparked from an idea, a brief clashing of neurons that had Lup sitting up frantically in the night (and wasn't that a new concept? She hadn't realized how much she missed sleeping until she was in and out of meditation for over ten years and didn’t have the option to sleep).
She hadn't had a single Candlenights for - for the same amount of time. The last one she could even remember was spent looking down at the world they were condemning to war, and there was very little attempt from anyone at celebrating that year.
Rationally, she knew that she was technically there for the previous Candlenights - and it is said in the most technical of ways, in a teasing voice that gets a blank look from Taako and wet eyes from Barry and a guilty look from Luce, but it was always fun to say it that way. She had been stuck in the Umbrastaff, but they had had worse Candlenights. And at least last year, she was surrounded by the people she loved.
“Lu?” came Barry’s voice from beside her, half slurred in sleep but still alert - they had all learned to be quick in their alertness, after a century. “What’s wrong?”
She turned to look at him, a smile fighting at her lips. He was always so adorable when he woke up, his bedhead and drool stains and half-lidded eyes that were so intelligent and focussed.
Bringing a hand to his face, she leaned her forehead against his. Morning breath didn't bother either of them anymore, not when they knew every other intimate part of one another.
“Nothing's wrong, babe,” she answered honestly. She couldn't blame him for not believing her, though. The amount of times she had shot awake, terror and fear taking her heart that she was trapped in her own creation once more, that her own family didn't remember her? It had happened far more than either of them liked.
It always took Barry ages, a constant, almost bruising grip on her arms, to actually calm her down. And even then, the next day she would feel like she was floating, distant from the real world. Every touch would be jolting, every word muffled. She would be dimly aware of Barry hovering at the edge of her vision as she ghosted through the house, willing to do his own thing, but worried.
She hated worrying him.
“Really? ‘Cause, uh, you don't normally wake up like that.”
She grinned at that, excitement coursing through her. She had a plan, a shaky one, but one that she could perfect in the coming hours, until they could get everyone together.
“I’m sure, Bare. Don't worry,” she said as she stroked her thumb across his cheekbone. “Do you think it's possible to get the crew together soon?” She could hear her own excitement in the whispered words. They thrummed between them, an energy to them that didn't match the fact that it was the middle of the night.
She felt his eyebrows furrow beneath her forehead, could basically hear the cogs in his brain turn. She had always loved his brain, loved how they could push and pull at the other’s thoughts without questioning where they got it from.
“Luce and Davenport were supposed to come over tomorrow,” he mused, slowly working through his thoughts. “And you know Taako would drop everything to be able to see you. It shouldn't be hard to get Magnus over, and Merle - he may be a grump, but he’d be upset if he got left out of a gathering.” She could see the curious look he sent her, eyes bright. “Why?”
Because I miss them.
She closed her eyes, could feel Barry’s comforting grip on her hand that sat between them, and let those emotions run through her. Because she missed them, because she missed celebrating. Because she missed the time when they were a tight knit family.
For them, ten years passed and they were all forced apart. For her? It felt like so much shorter. It was as if she looked behind her shoulder, she would see them all on the Starblaster, grinning and drinking and celebrating the little joys they could find in their mess of a life. It was if she could turn around and there the entire crew would be, laughing about something and sharing some joke.
Yeah, it was long in the umbrella, but it all blurred together and she had never been entirely sure how long time passed until Taako picked her up. And in those ten years, she had clung to her memories, replaying her time with her family, replaying their failures and their minimal successes, just to stay sane.
She inhaled, feeling her nose burn in that telltale sign that she was close to tears. “I want to celebrate Candlenights with you all, like we used to.”
Before she could even blink, Barry had her enveloped in his arms, cradling her close, and she was clinging back just as tight, a lump in her throat that yearned to be let out.
“Oh, Lup.”
It was the pure empathy in his voice that had her cursing the sob that she let out, collapsing her forward and curling her in. Above her, she could hear Barry’s own sharp breaths, forcing himself to be steady for her.
She loved him so, so much, sometimes it hurt.
Lup forced her own calm breath, forcing a steady inhale even as her chest stuttered with the weight of love and grief she held, only to release it quickly.
“It's just,” she said, her lower jaw tense from where she kept her body still. Her voice was thick with emotions, slow as it moved past the lump. “I miss them, I miss celebrating.”
A few drops fell on her shoulder from where she had curled in Barry's lap, and she squeezed his arm closer to her in response. “Yeah, yeah, me too.”
It was silent for a moment as they both just stayed there, holding one another as close as they could manage, desperate to not let go. It was almost funny how quickly her mood had changed. She had been almost jittery in excitement in one breath, but filled with sharp grief for their past the next.
Lup absentmindedly traced shapes and equations across Barry’s hand, arm, and legs - anywhere she could reach that she hadn't marked that day. They seemed to blossom in front of her, vivid and bright.
She had missed this. Had missed him.
After a while, Barry's hand stopped stroking her hair, stopped tracing her ear and massaging her scalp. “What do you have planned?”
She looked up at him, and knew their faces matched in the red, puffy look. Grinning, she asked, “Would I ever have anything planned?”
That got a laugh, half hearted and more relieved than anything, but a laugh nonetheless. “The question is, my dashing fire queen,” and oh, he was laying it on thick, “when don't you have anything planned?”
“You'd be surprised.” She smirked up at him, before pushing herself off of his lap, only to lean against his shoulder. “Do you remember in our cycle, the one we grew up in, where you'd pick a name out of a hat and you'd only get a gift for that person?”
“I think so? I think they have a variation here called Secret Candle Flame, but, well,” he shrugged, her head moving with the motion, “never really had an opportunity to celebrate Candlenights here.”
She hummed at that, squeezing his hand in hers. “Why don't we do that? I mean, now we can actually trade gifts and keep them instead of them disappearing.” They were able to keep a few things in those years, but most of them never tended to last. They were a part of that world, made with materials from that world and by people who lived there.
Except it was hard for something to continue to exist when that world didn't exist any longer.
“That sounds great, Lup. It's just,” and she could detect the hesitance, the thought that raced across his brain. “What if Taako got Luce?”
She sat there for a moment. Taako had been - not exactly antagonistic towards Lucretia, but definitely cold, since Story and Song. Their conversations were generally tense and one sided as Lucretia tried to talk to Taako and Taako responded in monosyllabic words.
She knew he was hurt by Lucretia’s actions, about erasing their memories and then basically treating them like pawns. Taako rarely got attached to people and that meant when he did, he never wanted to lose them.
To be forced to lose them? It was a betrayal that she knew cut Taako deep.
But -
“Yeah,” she said, a smile curling at her lips. “What if.”
It would be remarkably easy, a swapping spell that she could do in her sleep. A ruse to get them to make up.
“Uh oh,” Barry joked, laying his head on the top of hers, “I know that voice. Do I want to know?”
She laughed, “Probs not, babe. Anyways, you'll hopefully see tomorrow.”
He sighed a sigh that was weary and exaggerated. “Well, if whatever you're plotting hatches tomorrow, this human needs more sleep.”
She lifted her head off of his shoulder, turning to kiss him. “Yeah, go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning.”
It didn't take too much convincing to get the crew over to their house. A few well placed words, promises of snacks, and just basically asking, had them all agreeing to visit for the day.
“As you all know, we have a month until Candlenights,” she started, and had to briefly shake her head at them all staring at her, all attentive and serious. It sent her back to the first time Barry and her had suggested hiding the Light of Creation.
But this time, there were others with them. This time, the danger was behind them. This time, it wasn't an end of the world kind of deal.
“Candlenights? Is that what this is about?” Merle asked, leaning back in his chair in a way that didn't belie the fact that he had just been on the edge of his seat as the rest of them. “You said it was somethin’ serious.”
Before she could even attempt to respond, Magnus sat forward, side eyeing Merle. “Candlenights is important, Merle. It’s about celebrating the joy and hope in the world.”
Merle waved a hand, somehow, impossibly, settling further into the chair. “You should be able to find joy and peace and all that shit any day of the year.”
“Yeah, but this is a day where everyone celebrates it! It's felt in the air everywhere, a day to celebrate that, yeah, we’re gonna make it through the winter!”
As Merle sighed, shifting just a bit to face Magnus fully, Lup met eyes with Taako, both of them grinning, as Merle started talking about the importance of joy in his dry, borderline sarcastic tone.
Angus leaned in from Taako’s side, eyes bright at the conversation as he chimed in every once in a while, pulling out some fact - she had no idea where he kept them all, but he was a smart boy and Taako seemed to have taken him under his wing.
She still felt bad about destroying his macarons.
Behind Magnus, Carey and Killian had both relaxed into one another, never being far from being able to touch the other. Their faces had softened, just a bit, but enough that Lup was able to tell, especially after the times the three of them had gone out drinking recently.
They were a great couple, and even better people, and seemed to have taken Magnus into their group. They were practically inseparable at this point, either Magnus dragging them places with a grin and a call to the others to see if they wanted to join, or Carey and Killian dragging Magnus to try new things.
Luce had basically melted into her chair by her standards, the worried lines in her face loosening and she had the beginnings of a small smile. She met Lup’s eyes and raised her chin, more regal and calm than her demeanor had ever been on the Starblaster, before she turned to talk quietly with Davenport.
The tumultuous feeling that had been turning in her chest finally calmed. Everyone she cared about was under one roof, was sitting at her kitchen table without a war on the way, without the end of the world knocking on their door and darkening their doorstep.
It just sucked that it took a hundred and ten years.
She turned to Barry, standing at her side, and reached to grab his hand. And even if it wasn't a bad night the previous night, she had to remind herself that it was real. This was real. Everything they had worked to was real.
Barry grinned at her, full of teeth and awkwardness. Love.
She waited until there was a lull in the banter before she cut in, smoothly cutting Magnus off with an apologetic grin. “Yes, Merle, that is why I brought you here! I thought it would be fun to celebrate Candlenights with you all.” Lup traced her eyes over Carey, Killian, and Angus as well. They were also invited, they were important to the people she cared about, so they were important to her.
“I was thinking we could all pull names for one another and get them a gift -”
“Secret Candle Flame!” Angus blurted out, leaning forward. His eyes were bright and the largest grin she had ever seen him have graced his face.
“Woah, kiddo, didn't know you were a big fan of Candlenights.” Taako wore an easy grin as he nudged Angus’ shoulder.
Angus shook his head quickly, “I'm not, Sir! Or at least, I don't have an opinion one way or the other. I am a fan of Secret Candle and figuring out who got who, though!”
Taako rolled his eyes, a movement Lup knew was playful and teasing. He had grown so much, even in the past few months she had been freed. “Of course you are, Ango.”
Angus giggled for a minute, before his eyes went wide and he turned back to Lup. “Oh! Sorry Miss Lup! I didn't mean to interrupt you!”
She grinned softly back at the kid. As with Carey and Killian, she had grown used to his presence, almost constantly trailing after Taako. “Don't worry about it, buddy. But, yeah, Secret Candle. It would be very hard to give everyone gifts, so we'd only have to focus on one person,” she said.
As everyone broke out in whispers, Lup waved a hand, summoning the pieces of paper she planned to rip in half. There were ten people, that would be five pieces in two.
She only folded the papers once, and then ripped them, not caring if the edges were straight or not. It wasn't as if she were scared of destruction, and controlled chaos like this was always good for the soul.
She had Barry hand out the assorted pens he seemed to be able to summon - although she knew it wasn't magic in the magic sense. He just had that many pens on him - as she handed out the pieces of paper.
As she settled back to the head of the table, most of them were already writing their own names, she grinned.
From down the table, the sounds of paper ripping could be heard. When she looked, Taako seemed to have ripped his own paper in half, tongue out in concentration.
“Taako -”
“Kravitz is going to participate, too,” he said, writing a name in a flourish. “He doesn't know it yet, but if Taako has to, then so does the boyfriend.”
Lup laughed as Taako scrawled the other name on the other piece of paper before he folded both of them up tightly, the picture of concentration.
“Yeah, yeah okay. The more the merrier.”
When all the names ended up in a pot - she meant to put them in a hat, but apparently between being dead and erased from everyone’s minds, Barry and her didn't own a hat - she held it up. “Well! Who wants to go first?”
Magnus jumped up before she could even finish her question, hand buried in the pot as he jostled it around, tongue sticking out. She couldn't stop the huff of a laugh as he pulled one out and quickly read it, before stuffing it in his pocket, acting far too nonchalant.
From there, everyone lined up. Carey and Killian directly behind Magnus, then Merle, then Angus and Taako (as he pulled it out of the pot, he coloured his own purple, she noticed, and Kravitz’s a deep, almost black, blue) then Davenport and Lucretia.
Lup just stood there the entire time, Barry’s arm around her waist, and concentrated. Mainly on not dropping the pot on her toes, partially on making sure nobody got Taako’s until Lucretia pulled her name, and nobody getting Luce’s until Taako pulled his purple colour.
When Luce finally pulled hers, Lup allowed herself to grin, and turned to Barry, missing the way Luce's face fell.
“Well, babe? Two left.”
Barry's eyes lit up and Lup felt something in her go soft at his excitement. She set the pot down on the table, before taking his hand. “Together?”
He nodded. “Always.”
Lup heard Taako’s ‘get a room', but didn't answer him except for flipping him off as they brought their hands down into the pot.
It was almost silly how hard it was to grab a piece of paper when there were two hands trying to grab one. Their knuckles kept brushing one another or the side of the pot, and more than once, they grabbed the same piece of paper.
But eventually, Lup grabbed hers, smirking in triumph towards her boyfriend, before she unfolded it.
Davenport.
Yeah, okay, she can do Davenport. He was quiet, he was serious, he liked reading in trees.
And she had a month to figure out what to get him.
She pocketed the name in her dress when Barry tried to peek over her shoulder.
“Aw, Lup. We're gonna be living together, anyways. It's not like it's gonna stay a secret.”
She laughed, slinging an arm around his shoulder as the group all started milling around this time - an actual hangout instead of them thinking it was something important.
“Sure, but we can try, at least.”
He chuckled, leaning into her. “Yeah, we can.”
For the next few hours, they milled about. Angus was talking a mile a minute to Davenport, and Davenport responded in kind, looking up at Angus with a patient smile. Magnus brought out a board game from Creation knows where and roped Lucretia into playing with him, Carey, and Killian.
And Taako had migrated back to the kitchen table, having reached into his hat to pull out the purple note and stare at it with a scowl, before he pocketed it again and stared at the others with his head on his hand.
“Hey, ‘Ko, you good?”
“Yeah, Lu. 'Cha boy’s just thinking, tryin’ to come up with gift ideas, y’know? Like, what do you even get someone when you couldn’t get them anything for years?”
Lup sighed, leaning against Taako’s side. “Yeah, no, I get it. But, hey! It should be fun!”
She knew he glanced at her before he settled an arm around her. “Yeah.”
They stayed like that as Barry wandered around, before he ended up being snatched up by Magnus and coerced to stay for the next round of the game.
Angus was the first to want to leave, bounding up to Taako and whispering that it was getting ‘too loud’, even though Lup was sure the volume hadn’t raised too much. But still, Lup and Taako de-tangled themselves from one another and Taako reached over to ruffle Angus’ hair before he looked back at Lup.
“See you later, Lulu.”
Soon after, everyone else started filtering out, leaving with reasons, and still, that same settled feeling remained, knowing they would all be back in her house in a month.
It would lessen, she knew, as time went on, as she got used to seeing her family as often as she wanted to, but until then, she at least had Barry, had Taako and Angus when they decided to visit.
She had pieces of them, even if they weren’t all whole.
Lucretia was the last one to leave, her hands clenched into the skirt of her dress as she came forward.
Lup had a feeling she knew what got Lucretia so twisted up, but greeted her with a grin, “Luce! I know it was supposed to be just you and the captain today, but,” she shrugged, “you know how it is. Plans come and go.”
Lucretia smiled back, serene but still with the worries of, Lup guessed, pulling Taako’s name.
“It is always nice to have everyone under the same roof,” Lucretia replied. “Much better than the alternatives.”
Lup nodded. Finally someone agreed with her - she thought the rest did as well, but Barry had just admitted he was glad everyone was as alive as they could be, and she didn’t spend as much time with the others as she wanted to, but it was fine. She was just happy that they had a world they could live in, even if she was the happiest when they were all together.
It was silent for a moment, as Lup waited for whatever it is Luce wanted to say. It didn’t take long, not as Lup rocked back and forth on her heels and Luce kept getting more and more restless.
“Lup, is it, I mean, if it isn't any trouble, would it be possible to switch names?”
She looked up, mouth twitching up. She didn’t wholly expect that question, maybe something along the lines of what Taako would want for Candlenights, or somehow knowing that she had purposefully made Lucretia pick Taako’s name, or even an excuse that she couldn’t make it the next month, but to ask to switch names?
Yeah, Taako and Luce needed to talk it out.
“But then I would know who you have and that takes the fun out of it!”
Luce winced, “Yeah, well… I don't think my Candle would appreciate a gift from…me.”
Lup could feel her smile become strained. She knew Taako wouldn’t refuse a gift so openly, especially not from someone he trusted - even someone he used to trust. “I'm sure they’d appreciate anything you would give them.”
“Lup… Taako can't even stand to look at me. When he can, he'll leave a room if I'm in it. I don't - he won't appreciate a gift from me.”
Lup stared at Lucretia. She forgot how many insecurities Luce must have gained over the past decade - about the ones she had before the decade. Luce was so good at pretending things were okay, that she was so strong, Lup forgot how much she wasn't.
“Hey, hey Luce? Lucky? I can guarantee you that he’s gonna appreciate whatever you get him. He's,” Lup sighed, tilting her head. It wasn't unreasonable how her brother was feeling, nor was it something only he was feeling, but he was the one who was expressing it the most.
“He's hurt,” is what she ended up saying. “He trusted us, trusted you, and you, even if it was for the good of the world, you ended up making him forget the things - the, the people he trusted the most.”
Lucretia’s face kept falling, until it landed somewhere in despair.
But Lup grinned, blowing her hair out of her face as she stepped towards her. “And, hey, I'll talk to him. It's hard being the mature twin, sometimes.”
Her joke at least got a shaky smile from Luce, and something similar to relief filled her. “I didn’t think I would ever hear you call yourself mature.”
“Yeah, well, when your brother’s Taako, someone needs to be,” she joked. She knew they both knew that the maturity passed between them, tossed like a gem they couldn’t afford to drop.
Lucretia’s thin smile stayed, and Lup lamented that she couldn’t have been more help. But, it was something the two of them had to figure out. Sure, she could talk and become the middleman, but in the long run, that wouldn’t do much.
“Thank you, Lup. I… I appreciate it.”
“Of course, Luce,” she said, guiding Lucretia to the door. She waved as she shut the door and stared for a moment, before closing her eyes and resting her head against the door.
“Anything for you.”
Taako was up and waiting for Kravitz when he got home. Kravitz had gotten better with the whole time thing in the past months, but sometimes he still misjudged what time it was between the planes, or his bounties took longer than he thought.
But he had gotten better. If he thought it would take more than a night, he would let Taako know beforehand, or at least call him before it got too late. Taako would never admit it, but Kravitz knew he was a bit of a mother duck.
“Ah, hello, love. How was your sister?”
Taako looked up from where he was laying on the couch and flipping through some sort of magazine. Kravitz couldn’t help his smile as he walked over, picked up Taako’s head, and sat in the perfect position that they had found over the past couple of months to where Taako’s head rested naturally.
“Oh, y’know, hung around, played games, talked with Lup,” Taako said. “Also, your boy gotcha name for you.”
Kravitz raised an eyebrow, even as Taako’s eyes sparkled. It shouldn’t be too serious, not with how laid back Taako was, but still, a name could mean just about anything.
“Oh?”
“Yup,” he said, popping the ‘p’. As he dug through his own pockets, he kept talking. “Lup’s got it in her head that we should be celebrating Candlenights even though we’ve skipped the celebrating for twelve cycles, and so she and Bareman set up, uh, Secret Candle?” As he talked, he moved to sit up, and Kravitz had to resist the urge to follow his warmth.
“But, uh, we all get a person to gift something to and I decided if Taako’s gotta participate, so does the Kravitz. So I chose a name for ya.”
A dark piece of paper was shoved into his face, and Kravitz blinked as his vision tried to go cross-eyed.
He wasn’t unused to warmth, but surprisingly, in the Astral Realm, where temperature was unneeded, he never thought too much about it. But near Taako, he had to get used to the elf’s random gestures, ones he tried to shrug off as not a big deal, or physical gestures as Taako draped himself over Kravitz and refused to move for the next few hours.
It was these gestures with Taako, and later with Angus as Angus stared up at him and questioned every single thing he knew about the Astral Realm and souls, that had him get adjusted to warmth, to feeling like he belonged somewhere outside of his own duty.
Taako shoving a random dark piece of paper in his face, basically demanding he would need to participate, lit a fire in his chest, a warmth so strong that he felt like he was burning from within.
Kravitz smiled, soft and warm and, hopefully, showcasing every gooey emotion he was feeling - although he still wasn’t entirely sure if he nailed down facial expressions. He gathered Taako’s hands in his own, the paper nestled in both of their hands.
Taako grinned back, crooked and full of mirth. “You’re making that face again, Krav’. The one I know ‘cha boy’s doin’ somethin’ right.”
“Oh, Taako,” Kravitz said, and, yes, he had to be doing something right because his voice reflected how soft he felt - like being wrapped in the tightest blanket they had. Taako’s eyes widened just the smallest amount, and Kravitz felt proud. It was hard to discern how he was feeling sometimes, but Kravitz had learned, had studied how Taako worked, how he showed he cared and how he wanted to be loved in return.
He felt comfortable in the idea that he knew Taako.
“You are always doing something right, Taako. You don’t need to do anything to make me feel this way, you just have to be you.”
Taako laughed, in the way to others that would make him seem nervous, but Kravitz had learned after a particular incident that the elf wasn’t used to earnest compliments. Which was difficult to manage because Kravitz was filled with earnest compliments for his partner.
And maybe he liked to admire the flush high on Taako’s cheekbones, but that was a him-only thought.
“Yeah, yeah, okay, just take the paper already, bubula,” Taako said, shaking their hands for emphasis.
Kravitz did so, taking the paper in a singular hand so he could still hold Taako’s.
Magnus Burnsides was scrawled in a quick script.
Seeing the name, Kravitz frowned. He guessed it was lucky he didn’t get Merle, that would have made things really awkward, but getting something for Magnus seemed just as difficult.
They hadn’t exactly hung out since the end of Story and Song. Their schedules never mixed well when Taako tried to plan something, and the one time it had was for Angus’ birthday and they had all been roped into a detective party game.
“Hey, Taako?”
Taako hummed a reply, his nail drawing on Kravitz’s hand.
“Why did you decide to add my name to the draw?”
It was silent for a moment before Kravitz shook his head, “I mean, you don’t have to answer if it is personal, I was just curious. I know you mentioned it was because you had to participate, but you’ve done plenty of events without dragging me along, I was just wondering -”
“Krav, Krav!” Taako interrupted, turning to face Kravitz more, “you’re good, bubula, breathe. It’s,” Taako sighed and looked away. “You’re part of this fucked up family too, bonehead. That means when Lup or Barry or even Merle has a plan, you gotta join me in it.”
Forget being lit by a fire, he felt like he had just taken a dip in a volcano. “Taako.”
Taako shook his head and Kravitz closed his mouth. “Nah, nope, we’re not doing anymore gushy feelings tonight. I’ve had enough of talking about them. But,” he said with a meaningful look and a waggle of his eyebrows, “if you wanna do something about them, Ango’s already asleep.”
Kravitz admired the high flush on Taako’s cheeks, on the grip he still held on his hand. He knew how uncomfortable Taako could be with feelings, but he could say his gratitude another day.
For now, he could absolutely show his gratitude in a different way.
Not even a week before Candlenights, Taako found himself leaning against Lup’s counter, baking cookies. Or rather, bullshitting and making cookies on the side, but they counted the same.
Taako had still yet to find something to get Lucretia, but that’s because - okay, it was mostly because he refused to think about it. Everytime Angus brought up the Secret Candle draw, Taako talked around it, dancing around the subject.
A lot of the times Angus wouldn’t let it go until Taako just looked at him and said something along the lines of, “It’s supposed to be a secret, little man.”
And then he would let it go for a few hours, maybe a day if Taako was lucky, but Angus was nothing if not persistent.
He should have known something was in the air when Lup invited him over, wanting alone time with her twin, bake cookies like they used to until neither of them could move or eat any more batter.
“So, Taako,” Lup said in the lull of him bitching about one of the people he had to work with to start up his school. It was a tiring effort and no one had explained just how much paperwork and patience he was having to do before he signed on to do this.
At this point, it was going to take years to get it started.
“Hmm? Yeah?”
“Got any plans for your Secret Candle?”
He turned to stare at her, and felt his grin become a bit more forced. “Oh, yeah, of course! Taako’s got all the plans. But, y’know, it’s meant to be a secret and all, so -”
Lup laughed and turned to stare at the batter she was mixing. Something was off about her, something that he couldn’t place. “Yeah, but nothing stays a secret between us, ‘Ko!”
He raised an eyebrow at that, because, sure, that was true. It’s been true since before he could remember. If he knew something, she would know about it. If she knew something, he knew about it. It was just how they worked.
“Yeah? Well, who'd you get, then?”
Lup hummed. “Davenport. I'm making him a ship in the bottle - the Starblaster, in fact. It's coming along quite nicely. I have a few more finishing touches and then I can start shaping the bottle around it.”
Taako laughed - he couldn’t help it, it was just a release of the many emotions he had been feeling. The fact that she was almost done with her gift and he had no idea what Lucretia would even like. It was just - how was he supposed to get something for someone when he felt so much rage just looking at her.
“Good for you.” It came out more bitter than he wanted it to, and he had to close his eyes to stop himself from rolling them.
This isn’t how he wanted this day to go. He didn’t want his annoyance to be so prominent, he didn’t want to take it out on Lup. He had gotten so good at burying it, why would it come out now?
All sounds stopped for a moment, before Lup set the bowl back on the counter. “Taako,” she asked slowly, and still, there was something wrong about it, “what’s wrong?”
He stood for a moment, gathering himself, before sighing, pushing the milk and the measuring cup further onto the counter.
How could he tell her he didn’t want to participate in this Secret Candle? How would he tell her that he pulled Luce’s name and saw red? That everytime he looked at her, he felt rage and hurt and betrayal, because she knew and he didn’t. She knew what the Umbrastaff had been and had been silent, knew who Barry was and told them he was evil.
She had called them all evil. Invariably evil, even.
He had been wrong. There were some secrets.
He pushed his hand through his hair, marking the fact that he was gonna have to wash his hands after this before continuing with the prep work. “I got Lucretia, okay? And I don’t want to think about it.” Didn’t want to think about her.
Taako didn’t look at Lup, but he knew she was frowning. “Taako, you have a week to get this done, you’ll think of something.”
He sent her a look, because he knew she wasn’t this obtuse. He knew she knew what he was talking about.
She sighed. “Look, Taako, it’s… I know it’s been difficult but -”
“Lulu - Lulululu - Lup. Zip it, no. Just ‘cause you've forgiven Lucky and all her mind-erasing ways doesn't mean I need to,” he cut in.
“She was just trying to help!” She didn’t quite yell it, but it still cut through the kitchen. Heat, bright and hot following her words.
“Yeah, well, a fat load of good it did us! I lost you, I lost Barry! I lost Magnus and Merle and Davenport! I even lost Lucky! I wasn’t happy and I had no idea why!"
She was silent for a moment, and could feel her judgement. He hadn’t revealed that bit to anyone. The fact that he would never amount to anything and that he was terrified nobody else would have him - that he had admitted. But that he hadn’t been happy?
There was a shuffle as Lup made her way closer to him.
“What she did wasn’t right,” she started carefully, and it made him so angry that she was talking carefully with him, that she was taking Luce’s side in all of this. “And I don’t blame you for being angry, but Taako -”
“Lup! Just - just stop!” At his shout, everything went quiet. He didn't realize how tense he had become until everything went still.
They stared at one another, a mirror of shock. He couldn't remember the last time he truly yelled at - at anyone. Not out of anger, at least.
He didn't think he had ever yelled at Lup in any capacity, and suddenly he was very glad it was just the two of them in the house. If he had yelled with anyone else nearby, he wouldn't have been surprised if people came running.
“Taako?” He didn't wince at how soft and vulnerable her voice was, how it grated on his ears. He didn't. But it was closer than he would have liked. It made him want to curl up and hide and then put this incident behind them.
Not forget, never forget, because he doesn't think he could ever handle forgetting about any aspect of his sister again, but just move past it.
He had lived with her for hundreds of years, and yet after a decade, he almost forgot how easily she could read him. How easily he could read her.
Actually, he had forgotten, and that was the problem.
“You don't get it,” he said, finally. The words were ripped out of him, hoarse and true and honest. “Lu, you don't get it."
Lup stared at him for a second longer, face falling into something soft and something he would call pity if he didn't know her better. But he did, and he knew she understood, but understand what, he wasn't even entirely sure.
Gods, he was tired of not understanding, of not knowing.
No secrets, right?
“Then tell me, ‘Ko. I’m here.”
He rolled his eyes and turned to lean against the counter. And then, when he couldn’t bare to just look at the wall, or to possibly look at Lup, he closed his eyes.
It took a moment for him to expel the anger from his shoulders, to breathe through the tension and release it just a bit. Lup didn’t deserve his anger, even if she was trying to get him to forgive Lucretia.
“You are my heart,” he mused, quiet and broken, the words like glass in his throat. “That’s what you said, right? Well, same goes for me, Lulu. And it is so hard to live without your heart.”
In the reigning silence, he just let himself breathe, to push as much of that remaining tension out. He was fine, he was safe, and he was with Lup.
She came up to him, footsteps near silent, but he could feel where she was at, and pushed herself under his arm, before leaning against him. He could feel her relax, just as much as he did.
“You don’t have to live without me anymore, ‘Ko. I’m here. Merle’s here. Magnus is here. Barry and Angus and Davenport and Carey and Killian and Kravitz are here,” there was a pause, and Taako knew what she was about to say next, knew it in his soul, "Lucretia is here. You don’t have to forgive her, and you don’t have to forget what she did, but keeping all this anger? It isn’t good for you.”
He snorted and wrapped his arm tighter around his sister. “You, Lu, are full of wrath, and you’re telling me it isn’t good to be angry?”
“I was angry at the world, but I knew to keep that away from the people I cared about. Or, no,” he felt her frown, felt her lean more against him, “that’s not true. I was angry at Luce, too, but I figured out in the end that I just missed her. I missed us. I missed our family.
“And it’s grown and I’m not upset about that, but I just… More than the anger at her, I was angry at all the time we had missed.”
Taako was silent, contemplating that. He didn’t want to let go of his anger, because he was angry at her, not just at the time he missed.
He just couldn’t forget about the fact that Lucretia had thought it would be helpful of her to erase so many years.
He didn’t want to think about the heartbreak on her face when they figured it out, when Taako yelled at her with the truth, because she had taken everything from him. Took everything he cared about and threw him out into the world.
He saw the heartbreak and hurt and grief on her own face every time they were in the same room as one another, but it was -
Look, he could understand where she was coming from, the fact that she had only wanted to help, to ease the burden off of all of them, and had ended up hurting them.
He just…didn’t want to let go of that anger, to forgive her.
“I’ll…” and he could admit he did miss Luce. He didn’t have to forget his anger, but he missed talking to her, even when she was just the Director and he felt something close to home on her stupid moonbase. “I’ll figure somethin’ out.”
That same night, after Angus had been sent to bed and Kravitz had called to let him know he wouldn’t be back for a few nights, Taako sat at the kitchen table with a paper in front of him and a pen off to the side.
He had never been one to follow Magnus’ easy way of forgiving, or Merle’s way of letting everything fall off like water, but he had his own way of dealing with things.
When he wanted to.
And so he started a list. A list that no one else would see because he would burn it after.
Pros: Lup would be happy. Everything would be less weird. He missed Lucretia and bullshitting with her. Lucky wouldn’t look at him like he tore down her world.
He scowled at that one - she shouldn’t be looking at him like he had hurt her, not when it was the other way around.
Cons: She could make them all forget again (that one was crossed out before he even finished writing it. The voidfish were gone, Magnus had cried over it, over losing his friend). He would feel -
He couldn’t finish that thought. He didn’t know what he would feel, couldn’t describe the ruthless ball of relief at that thought, at the fear that followed and mixed so seamlessly.
So he set it aside.
What would Lucretia want?
It wasn’t like she had to go ten years without a home, without being able to collect pieces of her life to keep with her.
Except…he never did see any personal effects of hers - not in her office where she always made sure to check up on the three of them, none that she wore, none that she carried around with her.
He frowned at that, turning his paper over and hurriedly scrawling out the few things he ever did see with her.
An impersonal mug that she always drank her coffee out of - that she was always drinking coffee out of. A painting she kept close to her chest. Clothes that looked the same day in and day out. The staff.
But there wasn’t much he could get her, and the few personal items she had back on the Starblaster - mainly the notebooks she meticulously wrote in - he wasn’t sure what had happened to. And he sure as fuck wasn’t going to get her anymore notebooks.
Maybe - he paused at the mug. A mug that would fill with her preferred coffee when it empties? One where it would always stay a reasonable temperature? Something where she wouldn't need to distract herself with needing a refill.
Before he knew it, he had a design in place. He wasn't nearly on par with Barry, or even Lup, with his magical theory - he was always the type to go with his gut more often than not - but he had been chosen by the I.P.R.E. for a reason. And no matter how often he tried to convince the crew, it was not because of his world saving looks.
Over the course of the next few days - because as much as he knew and despite how Angus looked at him like he knew the secrets of the universe, these kind of complicated, meant-to-last spells took time. Time and energy.
He lost himself in the process of it all - in figuring out the spells needed and how to make them have a longer duration period, to last to the end of time - because if he was going to give a gift, it was going to be the best gift.
He lost himself in what material the spells would bind on to best. Surprisingly, it was a simple ceramic (and if he paid extra to have it engraved with ‘WORLD’S WORST BOSS’ in the same shade of blue of the Bureau then - no he didn’t. He bought it that way).
It took him longer than he had thought to put it together and, by then, it was the night before Candlenights, late enough to be considered early.
The application of the spells had been the fastest part, but making sure it wouldn’t blow up in his face or poison Lucretia was an important bit of it.
In the corner of his vision, he could see the clock on the kitchen wall slowly ticking away. He held his breath as he tapped the glass.
Slowly it filled, a rich scent filling the air that was undeniably his favourite kind of coffee.
Taako grinned, relief and pride taking over as he looked at the steaming mug of coffee.
He’d done it! He’d actually done it! He had missed this sense of accomplishment, this pride that came with completing a project that took this long.
And damn, he couldn’t remember the last time he had even started a project of this caliber, let alone finished one.
To get into the nitty gritty of it all and push magic to its limits and come out with something new and tangible.
And to think it was Lup’s fault with this silly little Candlenights celebration. To think it was all because he wanted to get something nice for Lucretia of all people.
Lucretia.
Before he knew it, that same irrational - no, it was rational to him - all-consuming anger took him. He didn’t remember grabbing the mug, only the brilliant shattering that came after and the concurring sound of glass as it rained to the ground.
Just as sudden as the anger came, it left him, a cold, dull shock filling the space it had vacated.
For a moment, he just stood there, arm still outstretched, not even breathing, and stared at the shattered mug.
And it just sat there, glinting in the light when he tilted his head to the side.
The coffee, as per one of the spells he had found and messed around with, had evaporated, but no - Taako wasn’t smart enough to make it unbreakable.
Because of course he wasn’t.
And he can’t fucking use Mend because it doesn’t pair well with items bathed in magic and -
Fuckfuckfuckfuck -
“Fuck!” he cursed, finally stepping towards the shards.
He could always get a spare mug and just redo the enchantments, but fuck, those engravings in that stupid shade of blue looked nice.
Before he could get too close to the mess he had created - had crafted with his own hands, had put hours and days into because he could be smart, he could - Taako heard quiet, hesitant steps above him, and froze.
Angus.
Right.
He had been so careful to make as little noise as possible, to make sure Angus slept soundly. He still got so unsure of himself at times, even if he had grown more and more used to Taako and Kravitz.
“Sir?” came the quiet, timid voice. He was heading down the stairs and Taako was still staring at the mess of a broken mug.
Fuck. What was he meant to do now?
Angus’ footsteps padded softly and -
Oh.
“Oh, nononono, Angus, don’t come in. Taako just, uh, dropped a mug and there’s a crapton of glass everywhere,” he called out. It sounded far away.
Still, before he could even finish his sentence, the slider door that separated the kitchen from the rest of the house slid open, Angus rubbing sleep from his eyes and standing in a matching pair of pajamas Taako had given him for his birthday.
As far as he knew, they were Angus’ favourite pair.
To Taako’s great relief, Angus didn’t enter the room, but he still stood at the door, squinting at Taako.
“No offense, sir, but you don’t sound so confident.” He peered around the room, a worried frown on his face that only grew when he saw the mug. “Why didn't you just Mend it?”
Taako rubbed his hands on his pants, mouth dry. With shame or regret or just the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts he had been going through lately, he didn’t know.
“It, uh, it was a magic mug, kiddo. Don’t know how it would react to a simple Mending.”
Angus’ eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at the mug again. He stared at it for a minute, then two, long enough that Taako was about to joke if he fell asleep standing up, before Angus’ face lit up in realisation.
“Oh! Was that the gift for Miss Lucretia?”
For the second time that night, everything stopped.
Gods, he knew the kid was smart, but he thought he had been sneaky.
“How -”
Before he could even finish the question, Angus rolled his eyes. “I am the World’s Greatest Detective, Taako. I know who everyone got.”
Taako let out a laugh, a little unsteady, but something that at least felt natural.
“Yeah, yeah, of course you are,” he said. Despite how flippantly he said it, he meant it. The kid could put the entire crew to shame with enough time.
“But, yeah, it was for Lucky, but,” he shrugged, trying to play the incident off, no matter how much it felt like it was cutting into him, “like I said, I dropped it.”
Angus’ look was many things, but the main one was disbelieving.
And then, he slowly blinked at Taako. “I have superglue.”
Taako couldn’t stop the little, surprised snort of laughter, bitter and angry on his tongue. “Superglue? What would that do?”
Angus gestured to the mug, “It wouldn’t be perfect, but it also wouldn’t be my first time putting a broken mug together! Well, technically it was a vase, and it didn’t say the same thing as it did before, but that’s unimportant. It’s like a puzzle!”
Exhaustion pulled on Taako as he grinned at the kid. “You should be going back to sleep, Ango, not helping ‘cha boy with his own mess.”
Angus stared at him for a moment, squinting from his lack of glasses, before he started fidgeting. “You, uh, you said we were family, sir - uh, Taako. And…family's supposed to help each other, yeah?”
He thought about Lup, about Merle and Magnus and how they inadvertently helped each other, became a family again with no connection from before. About Kravitz and Angus and Carey and Killian and Barry and Davenport and Lucretia -
Lucretia who just wanted to help, even if it did fuck up his life, he hadn't had to worry about the Hunger and the Relic War and all the destruction they had caused on their way to survival.
Lucretia who just wanted to help and brought her family back into her arms when she needed to - when she could.
Lucretia, who he was angry at. Betrayed by. Upset at and missed.
Family’s supposed to help one another, he thinks.
He nodded absently, missing the way Angus lit up. “Yeah, yeah I suppose so. Go grab your superglue, kiddo.”
Lup could hardly sit still as the day broke into Candlenights and she decorated their house as much as possible.
How do you even decorate for Candlenights? Candles? She knew there was a bush involved, but it had been years since they decorated a bush. Tinsel? She had read somewhere that strings of popcorn could be popular, but even if she wasn't anal about food like Taako was, she still refused for popcorn to be used like that.
The cookies she and Taako had finished were fine after they sat under a preparation spell their aunt had taught them years ago - it always came in handy when they needed to keep food fresh.
She spun in a circle slowly. It wasn't as if she had done much. It still looked like their house, only with silver and green tinsel. A couple of fake, paper bushes were hanging from there, and candles were lit in basically every corner, brightening up their home in a warm light.
While she was admiring the room, two arms snaked around her waist and a chin rested on her shoulder.
“You're worrying too much,” Barry whispered in her ear, and she shivered, from the closeness, from the fact that she had a body and knew she would never feel like this would get old, being pressed to the person she loved, being hugged randomly.
“I want it to be perfect,” she whispered back. And she did. She wanted everything to go right, to bring them all together, to keep bringing them together.
“Lup, of course it will go right,” he said, slowly turning her around so they were face to face. He brought a hand up to her face, one she leaned into. “You're the one putting it together, Lup, of course it will be perfect.”
She snorted at that, but didn't pull away. “You gotta say that, Bare, it's the law.”
“Of what?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed.
She smiled, kissing him chastely, “Of being a boyfriend, duh.”
He blinked for a moment, before laughing and shaking his head in amusement. She didn't even have time to frown before he was explaining.
“When have you ever known me to lie to you, Lup?”
She rolled her eyes, the assurance making her relax, “You haven't. I know I'm worrying too much, but I just can't help it. It's -”
“Important to you, I know. And it’ll be fine, great, even! I believe in you.” He paused for a moment, a sneaky grin coming on his face, “Even if you did purposefully pair Lucretia and Taako together.”
She raised her eyebrows as he stepped back, surprise blooming in her chest, “How did you know?”
He shrugged, careless and obviously meaning he did care, just as someone knocked on the door. “A little bird told me so,” he said, before turning to go answer the door.
A little bird, she thought, eyes catching on a tired Angus. Yeah, she should have known.
The rest of the crew slowly filled her house with joy and excitement and pleasantries exchanged. Even Merle was grinning, albeit it was far more wry than the others, but Merle was always more gruff and sarcastic than the rest.
Magnus greeted everyone with a hug until they wheezed, slapping at his back or until he released them, grinning all the while in a bright blue sweater decorated in horrifically bright yellow candles. He had set down a worryingly large box - okay, it was only a little larger than her head, but for Magnus, it was definitely worrying - on the coffee table when he had walked in and, as people are wont to do, others followed until there was a pile, misshapen and varying in size, but perfect nonetheless.
And for the first little bit, they just milled about, talking and snacking and, for the adults, drinking.
It was the calmest gathering they had had in a while, with no worries or sly words of importance, just a pre-planned event with everyone she cared about under her roof and just - it was joy.
It was joy bottled in a house and all-encompassing, being with everyone even if she wasn’t interacting with that person, she knew they were there, laughing or talking.
But eventually, when she could tell everyone was getting antsy, and glances to the gifts happened more and more frequently, she clapped her hands.
“Okay, gifts!”
She had never seen a group of almost a dozen people so quick to settle down as when she mentioned the gifts. Seriously, if she hadn’t known that only three of them could Blink, she would have guessed they had teleported to their seats around the coffee table, staring up at her with wide eyes.
Fuck, they were all children, weren’t they?
“I think one at a time and then whoever received the gift can gift theirs,” she said, pulling an elongated gift from the pile before turning to Davenport.
“Happy Candlenights, Captain.” After he took the gift, she spun on a heel and collapsed against Barry, watching Davenport with a lazy grin.
Davenport looked back at her, both amused and wary as he started to unwrap it. “Thanks, Lup. It’s not gonna explode when I open it, right?”
There came a small chorus of laughs as she waved a hand. “Nah, it shouldn’t.”
She was most definitely not sitting on the edge of her seat by the end of his unwrapping and as he pulled the Starblaster in a bottle out.
His mouth was agape, that same look of awe in his eyes when they first launched, as he turned it over. “Is this -”
“The Starblaster, yep! Handcrafted it myself and the glass shouldn’t break if it falls. It should also be able to work with a simple Shrink spell if you wanted to carry it around.”
Davenport set the Starblaster to the side in his chair and met her eyes. “It’s amazing. Thank you, Lup.”
She waved her hand, “Yeah, yeah, anything for you, Captain. Now, let’s get on with it!”
He just smiled at her and got up, choosing a box-like package from the bottom and almost toppling the tower, before turning to Carey with something almost maniacal in his eyes.
“Carey,” he said, handing the gift to her, “you are an excellent companion to have. Happy Candlenights.”
Carey took it, grinning. “Thanks Davenport.” And then she ripped into it, none of the careful consideration that Davenport had, to reveal a pair of boots, leather and well-crafted.
Carey took them before glancing down at her feet where she wore a pair of almost exactly the same pair, only in a lighter shade. “Uh, thanks?”
Davenport just grinned. “They’ll silence any sound you make, any breaths, any squeak of a floorboard. Anything. It can also silence your voice if you press a button,” he explained, leaning forward and poking something on the boot, “But, you know, be careful with that.”
As he explained, Carey’s eyes and grin got wider and wider. “Oh, wow! These are great! Thanks, Davenport,” she said. She sent a look to Magnus who suddenly looked a lot more scared.
“You’re welcome,” he replied, heading back to his seat.
Carey set the pair of boots down next to where she had been standing, and strided forward with quick, quiet steps, picking up a set of gifts all wrapped similarly, before dropping them in Angus’ lap. “Happy Candlenights, kid.”
Angus looked up, his grin contagious. “Thank you, Miss Carey!”
She shook her head, a grin on her own face, “You haven’t even opened it yet, genius. Open it before you thank me.”
Angus flushed, looking back down at the packages, before tearing into them with the same ferocity that Carey had, but the same gentleness Davenport had. Quickly, efficiently, but carefully.
When he opened the flap of the first one, he paused, eyes going wide, before setting it aside to do the same to the next, and then the next, and then the next.
When he had finally stopped, his eyes were larger than Lup had ever seen.
“How did you get these?” he asked, voice barely a whisper.
Carey shrugged, “I hunted them down.”
Angus shook his head, careful as he set them aside, to not jostle whatever it was. “Nono, but Miss Carey, these are the manuscripts. They’re - authors don’t just get rid of them.”
Carey merely shrugged again, a smirk on her face. “When I mentioned it was for the wonder kid who helped stop the end of the world, they were almost too willing to help. I had to bring Magnus along,” she shot a thumb at him without looking, “to show we were the real deal.”
Angus frowned, his hands carefully returning to his pants. “Miss Carey…not that I don’t appreciate it, but you shouldn’t use our fame to get what you want.”
They stared at one another for a moment, unwilling to blink, unwilling to back down.
Carey raised an eyebrow, “Would it be a different story if I said they would want to meet you?”
“Really?” he asked, and he sounded so excited that Lup felt that joy from across the room. “He's never accepted an interview - or a meet and greet before! He even writes under a penname! And I get to meet him?”
Carey laughed, “Yeah, Angus, you do. I have a friend who’s a friend of theirs, and I know how much you liked the books.”
“Like? I love them! They’re what - they're what inspired me to become a detective, Miss Carey.”
Carey just grinned, reaching a claw forward to ruffle Angus’ hair, to his chagrin. “I'm glad I could do this for my favourite kid, then.”
Angus righted his hat and his hair, adjusting them back to where they had been originally. Lup could see his skin darken as he bowed his head, “Thank you, Miss Carey.”
And then, before anyone could do anything else, he jumped up to snatch a lumpy package from the table, before turning to Merle.
“It, uh, it took me a while to figure out what to get you, sir, but, uh, here you are, sir!” He shoved the package at Merle who took it with wide eyes, turning the item around in his hands, examining it.
“Hope it's something good,” Merle gruffly said before ripping into it. Angus didn't look like he was breathing as he just watched Merle open his gift, pulling out something amateurishly carved from wood -
Or, Lup thought as Merle turned it around in his hands - maybe not so amateurishly. It looked like a set of pan-pipes with Pan himself running across the lengths of the wood, flowers carved into the wood with a shaky hand.
“I didn't know what to get you but I do know you're very devoted to Pan so I thought it would be a good idea to get you something connected to him but also your Pan is different the one we know, so I had to go with something generic and -”
Lup was sure Angus was going to continue to ramble for the rest of his life until Merle cut him off with a hand on his shoulder and more sincere than she had seen him look in a while.
“It's really nice, kid.”
Angus beamed, briefly leaning forward to hug the shocked dwarf before turning back to his seat, cheeks red.
Merle leaned forward off of his chair, not letting go of the pan-pipes, to grab the only bag that was sitting on the coffee table, before chucking it at Lup, who had to lean to the right to catch it with surprise.
It was just a crude, simple paper bag, and she couldn't stop herself from smiling at how Merle it was.
Something warm sparked in her that she was going to be able to keep something her friends had gifted her, to be able to use whatever it is.
She reached into the bag, not surprised that there wasn't even tissue paper, when her hand met with something soft but scratchy.
Pulling it out, it was a…square, knitted piece of fabric.
She turned it around, in her hands, confused.
“It's an oven mitt,” Merle explained after a minute.
She could barely fight the smile that was threatening to overtake her, but she was a master of her own emotions, if nothing else…most of the time. “Merle, you do know I can hold fire in the palms of my hands, right? Heated metal doesn't hurt me.”
Merle just turned his eyes to her, knowing, and this time she didn't stop the grin. “Yeah, but now you don't need to. Plus, it's us.”
She turned back to the oven mitt, a horrific shade of yellow-green with seven black squiggles on the edges. It was lopsided and made quickly, but she was happy with it. “Yeah?”
He nodded and waved his hand. “The black birds. When I had my arm chopped off, we also got a prophecy. Seven birds and all that shit. Twins. Lover. Protector. Lonely journal keeper. Peacemaker. Wordless one.” He counted them off on his fingers, and she was surprised at how serious he was being. She knew he was like this under his chill, sarcastic, care-for-naught persona, but it almost always surprised her when it showed up.
It was quiet as he finished counting them, her fingers subconsciously tracing the seven squiggles - the seven birds.
“You remember that?” Taako asked, sounding far more curious than shocked.
At the same time, Luce went pale, staring at Taako and Merle and Magnus as if she had seen a ghost. “There was a prophecy?”
Merle scoffed. “Of course I remember it. I got my arm ripped off!”
“Hey!” Magnus yelled, and Lup knew from a glance he was only pretending to be offended, he only wanted to be involved, “it was a clean cut and you know it.”
Merle waved an arm, his wooden arm, “Po-tay-toe, Po-tah-toe.”
As it devolved into bickering, Lup traced the shaky little birds, her family. “Thanks, Merle,” she said, effectively stopping the lighthearted bantering. Lucretia still looked pale, her shoulder’s still lifted up to her ears, and she knew why Kravitz looked uncertain, she was there even if only in brief moments of clarity.
But she meant it. She was going to use it. Or be basic and hang it on the wall, but she had never been able to just use something that was meant to have a use as a decoration.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Who’s next.”
She shot Barry a look, pointed. It was better to get the rest of the circle done before Lucretia and Taako handed each other their gifts, but Barry was already standing up, stretching as he did so, back popping.
He grabbed one of the boxes set off to the side, larger than even the box Magnus brought, and walked over to Killian.
It, like Merle’s, was unwrapped and impersonal, but Killian still took it kindly, a grin on her face, before she delicately opened it.
And really, the way her face lit up was adorable.
She pulled a crossbow from the box, setting the box down gently, before she held it up, eyes bright and fingers habitually twisting and turning around the wood.
“Where did you get something like this?” Killian whispered, and Lup raised an eyebrow. Crossbows weren't rare, but apparently Barry had gotten something special.
He shrugged, careless in a way that meant he did care. “I helped someone out a few years back and he promised me a favour. It shouldn't miss any shot you take - not that you need it,” he added quickly, “but it can curve around the sides of buildings. He mentioned that if the crossbow likes you, you could control an arrow with your mind as long as you have concentration, but he wouldn't explain how it worked.”
Killian’s eyes widened, before they narrowed, a certain glint in her eyes that Lup knew meant she would be spending more and more time at an archery range.
She turned that gaze to Barry whose eyes widened. “Thanks, Barry. Couldn't have asked for anything better.”
Barry just shrugged again, still that uncaring-but-I-care shrug. “Thought you'd be able to put it to use.”
As she set it down in the box, she chuckled, “Oh, I will, don't worry.”
She shifted forward just as Barry sat down next to Lup, leaning into her side, and grabbed one of the last five gifts, the last lumpy one, in fact, before she turned to Kravitz who sat on the opposite couch.
“I didn't know what, exactly, you'd like, but Magnus mentioned you were tall, dark, and emo, so I did what I could.”
That got a few laughs from everyone as she dropped the package in his lap and turned to walk away.
Kravitz looked uncomfortable as everyone stared at him, a bit like a child who had just been called on in class and a lot less like a grown, undead man who had orders to take most of them out at one point.
But still, he carefully peeled back the dark, almost black, paper to reveal a shimmering, black piece of cloth that unfolded out into a cloak that looked as if it were made from space.
Kravitz’s hands were gentle as he turned it around, unfastening the clip - that turned out to be a skull - and stood, swinging it around his shoulders in a smooth motion that made it clear he had put on a cloak that dramatically before.
He raised his arms once, face lit up with something close to awe. “It's soft.”
“Yup,” Killian said, back to observing her crossbow, “softest one I could find.”
Kravitz just blinked, an awkward grin pulling at his face. “It is lovely, thank you.”
Killian hummed. “My pleasure.”
Taako leaned forward, nudging Kravitz’s arm, “You look nice, my dude.”
That awkward grin turned full and - wow, she missed watching her brother in love with that damned grim reaper, huh.
It didn't hurt as bad as she thought it would as she witnessed the pair of them interact.
After a couple of minutes of Kravitz just standing and grinning, he seemed to remember where he was as he shook his head.
“Ah, yes, my apologies. I forgot we were exchanging gifts for a moment.”
He leaned over the coffee table and picked up the smallest gift, not even larger than an envelope - in fact, she was sure it was an envelope.
He looked uncertain as he stepped towards Magnus, an expression that was more of a grimace than a smile on his face.
In fact, if Lup didn't know any better, she would say he looked nervous.
But there was no reason to be nervous, was there?
Magnus looked up, eyes bright as he grinned, and took the envelope. “Ah, yeah! I got Kravitz!”
He turned back to the envelope, his face dropping so fast and going so pale so quickly, Lup was afraid he might pass out. Lup sat forward, just as everyone did, as the room went quiet.
She tossed a confused glance at Taako, only to see him just as confused, a worried look on his face.
Turning her gaze back to Magnus, she saw him raise a hand, one that she could see was shaking, and trace the words on the front of the envelope.
Once. And then twice, before he turned to face Kravitz.
“Is this real?”
Kravitz looked surprised at being addressed. “Uh, yes. Yes it is.”
Magnus closed his eyes and breathed out shakily. Lup was wracking her head for anything she knew it could be. There were a few faces that knew - Lucretia, Davenport, Killian, Carey.
“Where did you get this?” Magnus’ voice was thick with tears, as if he were holding himself back from crying, and, fuck it, if she had to fight her brother's boyfriend, she would.
Kravitz fidgeted in his cloak, looking anywhere but Magnus. “Well, ah, you know my occupation, Magnus. I couldn't quite think of something for you, but I knew of someone who could.”
It was silent as Magnus closed his eyes again, turning the envelope over and opening it carefully, as if he were scared it would turn to ash in his hands.
As he pulled it from the envelope, Lup realized it was a letter, and looked away.
Ten years was a long time for them to live in this world. Enough to craft a life, a family.
Enough time to lose someone they cared about.
So she busied herself with other things, and so did everyone else, leaving Magnus to read the letter in peace, ignoring the laboured, careful breaths and the broken sobs.
Hushed conversations and refills of drinks filled the room. Angus got up to use the bathroom, she knew, and she just leaned into Barry’s side.
They weren't in a rush, after all, and grief never ends, you just grow around it.
She wasn't counting the minutes until it ended, only took in the feeling of Barry as they leaned against one another, as Kravitz took Taako’s hand as he sat back down with a whispered, “Did I do all right?” and as Lucretia's face and shoulders fell, guilt painted across her being.
As Carey and Killian both placed a hand on Magnus’ shoulders even as they looked away.
It was hushed until Magnus looked up at Kravitz, a watery grin on his face. “Thank you, it was -” he choked back another sob, one that turned more into a laugh. “Thank you.”
Kravitz dipped his head, leaning more into Taako. “Of course, Magnus. I,” he frowned, looking sorry, “I can't promise anymore communication - I had to beg the Raven Queen for something as simple as this but she owed you. I owed you. And you deserve it.”
Magnus just did that same laugh-sob again, as he folded the letter up. “That's - that's okay. I just - I haven't seen her handwriting in so, so long.”
Magnus held the envelope for a moment longer, as if it were something precious, as if someone tried to take it from him, he would tear the world apart to get it back.
It took another few minutes for Magnus to be able to set the letter down carefully, and stand, eyes red and face blotchy, but with a grin, before gathering the box that started the whole thing on the coffee table.
“It's not, uh, ha, tonally appropriate anymore, but it's for both you and Lup,” he said, passing it to Barry.
Her interest piqued as she shifted off of Barry so he could open it better.
Barry lifted the lid, but before Lup could even see what was in the box, he slammed the lid shut, turning to Magnus with wide eyes. “Magnus,” he hissed.
Lup raised an eyebrow, intrigued, as she tried to take the box from her boyfriend’s hands, but he only held on tighter.
Magnus laughed, still watery and reserved, but in that unabashed way that lit up a room. “What? No need to be shy, Barry! We all know that you and Lup -”
“Magnus! There are kids present,” Barry said, glancing at Angus.
They met eyes briefly and Lup suddenly knew what was in the box. She busted up laughing, doubling over until her forehead rested on Barry's shoulder.
“What? He was around us for months. He's heard worse.”
“It doesn't - that doesn't mean a thing, Magnus,” Barry sighed.
Taako must have understood what had transpired, because he also started to laugh, snorting into his hand.
Slowly, one by one, it clicked in everybody’s heads, snickers making their way around the room, until Angus was left, confused.
“What? I - I don't get it,” he said, looking around, pouting. “What did Magnus get Mr. Barry?”
His question only made her laugh harder.
“You'll understand when you’re older, Angus,” Lucretia’s calm voice said, but even she was enjoying the uptick in mood, the silly jokes that overcame the sorrow.
Angus’ pout grew, “Oh, it's one of those jokes.”
Barry shook his head, the sides of his mouth twitching as he stuffed the box under the couch, and Lup noted its placement for later. “It's not really a joke, Angus. It's the absurdity of it.”
Angus stopped pouting, “Oh.”
Lup nodded, “Yeah, oh. Besides,” she said, clapping her hands and turning to Lucretia and Taako, “we’ve got two people left.” She grinned, feeling that bubble of nerves and joy. “It seems you two got each other!”
Lucretia’s face was carefully blank as she looked at her. Lup only smiled wider. “You made sure I chose Taako.”
She didn’t let her grin go as she shrugged. “I don’t know what you mean, Luce. It was all fair game.”
“Nononono,” Taako said, snapping his fingers, “that’s why I felt your magic in that pot! I thought it was just so we wouldn’t pick our own names.”
“It was!” And, oh, she was having too much fun with this, even if she had been caught. But both of them were smart, they would have figured it out.
Taako just sent her a flat look as he picked up a box from the coffee table, Lucretia doing the same. “You can’t lie to me, Lulu, you know that.”
Lup just shrugged, wearing that same grin. “Well, it got you two to this point, right? What’s the worst that could happen?”
Taako snorted, turning sharply to Lucretia. “What’s the worst that can happen, she says. Can you believe her?”
Luce’s eyes widened, perhaps at being addressed by Taako, perhaps by being addressed without some sort of snarky comment directed at her. But still, she laughed, slightly shaky. “Yes… Yes, Taako, I actually can.”
Taako rolled his eyes, but this time with a grin. “Of course you can, Lucky. You’ve always wanted the best for us.”
Lup’s breath caught in her throat. It was a bitter statement, bitter words, and it had that bitter undertone to it, but it sounded so sincere in a way.
Lucretia must have heard it too because her face went slack. It took a moment for her to find her words. “Same time, Taako?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever.”
Taako immediately dug into his gift with an almost furious glee, before stopping, eyes wide.
Lucretia just stood there, fidgeting with the edges of her gift, hastily wrapped wrapping paper being rubbed between her index and thumb. “They're not - I couldn't perfect them, but I remember one of the cycles you showed us how to make them. You said that you made them when you felt upset. I didn't -” she sighed, looking down at her feet.
“I'm not entirely sure what to do to make it up to you, Taako, and I wish I did. I've known you for so, so long and yet,” she chuckled and Lup couldn't stop herself from sitting forward, resisting the urge to take Lucky’s hand. It wasn't a happy chuckle, could hardly be described as a chuckle, if she was being honest. “And yet I had no idea what to get you.”
Taako stared at her, face blank. The cookies sat in his hands as if he had forgotten they were there, and the longer that Lucretia had to stand there, waiting for a response, the more Lup could see she was unsettled.
Finally, Taako blinked, his breath stuttering as he picked up one of the cookies - and Lup knew all of Taako’s favourite cookies, knew them like the back of her hand. She could bake them in her sleep, had started baking them in her sleep, before. She knew these were his favourite, the ones they made with their aunt as kids.
They weren't the most well made of cookies, but she could tell they were made with heart.
He took a bite of the cookie, chewed, and swallowed, and looked back at Lucretia. “Lucky…” he drifted off, frowning, before a smile came on his face, “this is one baller cookie.”
Lucretia let out a startled laugh, one hand moving from her gift to cover her mouth, and there were titters all around. “Yeah?”
“Yup!” he said, popping the ‘p’, “best I've ever had, in fact.”
Magnus leaned forward in that moment, his large, joking grin on his face, “Can I have one, Taako?”
Taako held the box closer to his chest, guarding it from Magnus. “No! Get your own!” As he said it, he took a cookie from the box and held it in Lup’s direction.
It didn't…taste quite right, something was wrong about it, not enough vanilla, perhaps? Yeah, not enough vanilla.
It didn't taste like their aunt's, didn't taste like home, but it could easily become home. And she could see that joy in Taako's eyes, a lightheartedness to him that she hadn't seen in a while.
Magnus whined, “Why not?”
“‘Cause it was my gift, Burnsides, get your own!”
There was a moment of silence before Magnus laughed. “I did get my own, Taako. But yours is edible."
“Yeah, which is why,” he stuffed another cookie in his mouth, glaring at Magnus, “they’re mine.”
“I’m so glad you like it, Taako,” Lucretia cut in, picking at a piece of tape. “I never wrote down the recipe, always so sure you’d be there to remind me. It took me so long to remember it. I’d wake up from sleep having only the faintest idea about what was there and couldn’t even read my handwriting in the morning.”
Taako just hummed, another cookie in his mouth. “Open yours, Luce. You’re the last one.”
Lucretia did, movements hesitant and careful as she pulled each piece of the tape back to reveal a small box. When she saw the box, she sent a hesitant teasing look towards Taako. “This isn’t a box within a box kind of gift, is it?”
Taako shrugged, “I don’t know, Luce, is it?”
She opened the box, her hesitant smile dropped into something puzzled as she pulled out a mug that looked like it had been shattered and then glued back together. And when Lucretia turned it, inspecting the other side, Lup had to stifle the laugh at the ‘ WORLD’S WORST BOSS’ engraved on the side.
“It’s a mug,” Lucretia stated, both of her hands fitting around it.
Taako nodded. “I noticed you didn’t have a personalised one, so I figured, why not kill two birds with one stone. If you tap the handle with the want for coffee, it should fill it whenever you wish. Shouldn’t go cold either, so it could sit there for hours.”
Taako suddenly got a slightly sheepish, defensive look, gesturing at the mug, “Just, y'know, don't drop it. It, uh, it got smashed a little, but Ango helped me put it back together. Didn’t take as much time as I thought it would, either.”
Lucretia looked down at the gift, before grinning, large and unabashed. “I love it, Taako. Thank you.”
He nodded absentmindedly, chewing on his lip, before seeming to gather his courage. "Lucky - it’s not that - I don’t forgive you, I don't think I ever will, but...I miss you.”
Lup held her breath as Lucretia’s eyes went wide and Taako avoided her gaze.
Slowly, Lucretia found her words. “I… I realize I messed up, Taako. I thought I was helping you but,” she glanced away, then down at the mug that she was clutching in her hands. “In the way that I was helping you, I also hurt you all horribly and that was not my intention.”
Taako stared down at the box of cookies, before heaving a great sigh. And this felt like something that the group should not be witnessing and Lup felt a strong pang of remorse, at forcing Taako to face his emotions in this way, in front of everyone, but it was doing something when two of the most stubborn people she knows refused to.
“You did help, Lucky. The entire situation was - is - fucked, it's just…family's meant to help each other, yeah? And sometimes you fuck up instead of helping and sometimes it's both, but you're still family in the end.” Taako huffed out a breath, a blush coming high on his face.
There was a brief silence, seemingly where nobody breathed, before Lucretia grinned, full of relief, of hope, and finally lost a bit of that sorrow and guilt that usually took a hold of her.
“Thank you, Taako.”
He waved a hand, “Yeah, yeah. That's all you're getting out of me, though.”
And then he grinned, just as full of hope and love, “Happy Candlenights, Lucretia.”
Before she could respond, he turned to Lup, a promise for revenge on his face, thanks in his eyes. “What else ya got planned, Lulu?”
As she summoned a game they all used to play, exaggerated groans leaving just about everyone’s mouth, and everyone settled in close to the coffee table, she looked at them all.
They had all formed their own groups after Story and Song, but they were all a family, and it was just going to grow.
And, yeah, everything was going to be all right.
They were home.