Chapter Text
Mirabel saved the miracle. The magic was fine, her family loved her again, everything was just perf- nope, we don’t like that word anymore, everything was just great.
And sure, she still hated herself, but at this point it was just normal, right? Obviously it depends on your definition of normal, but Mirabel would like to argue that if it’s a constant state for more than half of your life, it counts as normal.
Of course, back before Everything happened, she was used to hiding it - no point in worrying and distracting the family after all! And she got pretty good at it too, only getting some worried looks from Dolores if she had a particularly hard time trying to calm down her heartbeat for too long. Thankfully, she never needed more than a few “I’m fine” with an energetic wave to be left alone. She was just grateful that the candle didn’t give anyone a super smell as a gift, considering how often she must smell of fresh blood. Nothing a knee length skirt and some pants can’t take care of!
So really, Mirabel wouldn’t even consider it a problem anymore - it was just how she was. She had it all figured out, from the best hiding spots for blades even Camillo wouldn’t think to snoop around it, to excuses to Antonio if he ever woke up and saw her kneeled over in her chair.
The problems started when the Casita fell. Suddenly, everyone was all over her and wanted to know how she was constantly. It was harder to straight up lie when she needed to do it every day, but she got used to that as well. Not being able to relieve the gut wrenching self loathing as she usually did, she started to whisper some of her thoughts to let out the steam that way.
Her thoughts about herself were rarely pretty, and even rarer absent. Again, she was used to them, so not a big deal. “I want to die” here, a “you should kill yourself” there, and she went on about her day. It helped a bit, saying them out loud in any way, to relieve the constant tension she felt. She never dared to, Back Then, but after the gifts were gone, she figured it would be safe.
And it was! Totally! She not once got busted. Dolores did ask her a few times to repeat what she said, not used to seeing someone say something and not hearing it, but Mirabel was a quick thinking girl and always managed to deflect that with no issue.
That was, until today. Casita was back, the gifts were back, and Mirabel was not yet used to this again being the norm. She was playing with the kids outside, when Sofia threw her ball a bit too much to Mirabel’s left, and she failed to catch it. As she went to retrieve the ball, she whispered her standard “wow you useless piece of shit you should hang yourself”. She got the ball, and went back to play.
Or that was the intention, as she noticed a fuming Dolores stomping towards her.
“What the FUCK , Mirabel?!”