Archive of Our Own

She doesn't know how to do this. Anika understands what she feels, what she is and wants, but she's not sure Cody does. This isn't something he's ever had a reason to even know anything about, until right now.

He was on an extended mission with the 501st. They were trapped on the surface of a planet for a long time, trying to hold out with the limited resources that they had. She's never worked with Cody for such an extended period of time before. She never bonded with him the same way she did with her own men, and for Cody, it feels more like he's an equal.

It makes sense, or at least sometimes it does. She's a General, but he's the Commander of the one of largest divisions in the army, and he has more responsibility and control than she does.

It doesn't feel wrong, but there's still a million... questions about it.

"How does it look?" Anika asks, crouched in front of Cody as she focuses on repainting the scratched up orange markings on his armor. It was damaged badly during the battle, and paint was the last supply they had time to worry about until getting out.

"Better than before," he replies, sounding vaguely amused.

"Good," she says cheerily, dipping the brush into the paint again and moving back to brush up a slightly lower spot on his chest armor. Mostly, she's just distracting herself from what she knows they ought to discuss right now. They... need to talk about it. Not talking about it and pretending nothing happened would be worse.

She can feel Cody's gaze on her, and she thinks he's thinking along the same lines, though he'll have even less of an idea how to approach it than she does.

"About what happened," Anika begins, finally, "I know it went further than either of us were intending."

Cody is quiet for a long pause, and he seems uncomfortable. He's only like eleven, Anika can't help thinking. He's biologically older obviously, but if he aged normally he would still be a child.

He's a clone, though, so there's nothing normal about him. There's nothing normal about her, either, but still. Most of her boys often act the age they ought to be. Cody is... far more mature than many, and she knows he wants it, so... it's not wrong, but there's so many other issues with it.

She's a Jedi. He's a clone, a soldier, and to have a relationship would break every rule they're supposed to follow.

"It did," he agrees, finally. He seems uncertain how to talk about this, unsurprisingly. The clones are trained not to focus on emotions.

"I... want it," she admits bluntly, because being direct is always easiest, "But I know it's against every rule we've followed. And I know you've never dealt with anything of this nature. What... do you want, Cody?" That's what matters most. As a clone (a slave), he'd be in far worse trouble than she would be, if they were caught.

"I... don't really understand what this... means," he says, slowly, and Anika pretends to be busy with the paintbrush so he won't have to feel uncomfortable. It's probably the first in depth emotional conversation he's ever had. "I have never... cared for anything outside of my brothers before."

How would she even explain that? "This isn't the same, but it's still... like family," she supplies, finally.

"I don't know what to say," Cody says, huffing out a breath, "Are you sure you want to risk being expelled for... this?" For me, he doesn't say. He probably finds it confusing as she herself does – why someone would do something just for her. No one's ever really done that, but it's different with the clones.

"Do you? You're the one they could..." Decommission. Anika's fairly certain that means execute, though no one's ever given a clear answer on that. She still thinks that's something the other Jedi ought to be a little more concerned about.

"When we were on the mission..." Cody replies, awkwardly, "I thought it would be distracting, but it –"

"Helped?" Anika finishes for him, and he nods, almost uncertainly. That was true for her, too. The thought of having that kind of relationship with someone gives her something she could look forward to. Something outside the Order she knows she'll never be able to fit into the way all the other Jedi can. It gives her something she can choose, for maybe the first time in her life.

"Yes," he agrees.

"This isn't something we need to decide right now," Anika says, to give him a way out if he isn't comfortable, but she doesn't want to make him uncomfortable with the thought, either. "If you want to wait, maybe even until after the war..."

Cody shakes his head, one of his hands reaching up to touch her shoulder.

She sets the paint brush she was toying with down, looking up to meet his gaze. The emotion it floods her with is nearly overwhelming, a sharp reminder of how much she wants this. Cody seems to, also, she can see it as much as sense it in the Force.

She's leaning a little closer, right when the door to the workshop area they're in for the paint job abruptly opens.

"Sir –" Echo starts, and then freezes.

Anika starts, jolting back from Cody, turning to see a very confused looking Echo standing in the doorway. How did she let herself get so distracted that she didn't even notice him approaching?

"What do you need?" Anika asks, really hoping he... didn't really understand what he just saw. He probably didn't, but she can't risk him saying anything to anyone. It's too risky, especially for Cody's sake.

"I –" Echo starts, though all his thoughts seem to have entirely abandoned him. She can't exactly blame him for that. "... came to find you," he finishes, a little lamely.

"Something urgent?" she asks, throwing a final glance at Cody before heading for the door.

Echo's gaze darts between them, awkwardly. "It can wait, sir, if you're –"

"It's fine," she assures, moving for the door. "Cody, I'll have to finish the paint job later."

"This looks good enough, General," Cody replies, the formality he normally speaks with entirely back now. "Thank you."

She gives him a small smile, before stepping out into the hall after Echo, because she really needs to talk to him about... what he saw, even if that's going to be uncomfortable for both of them. Maybe, trying to have something with Cody right now isn't the wisest idea, but she doesn't really want to wait, not knowing when the war will ever be over. "Can I have a word before we go?"

Echo nods, almost warily.

"About what you... saw," she says, "It's not something anyone can know about. It's... against the rules and technically your duty to report, but I would... appreciate it if you did not speak of it."

He blinks, looking half-lost, and she's fairly certain he's only half-sure what was happening in the first place, but he still saw enough. "It won't be a problem, sir," Echo assures, awkwardly, before hastily moving on to the actually important matter he came to find her about.

Anika hopes they can just leave the matter at that.

***

The matter is not, in fact, dropped quite that easily.

"Can I help you with anything?" Cody asks, sitting on the wing of Anika's fighter.

She's sitting next to him on the floor, touching up the paint on the underside.

Anika shakes her head wordlessly, but glances up at him. It's the middle of the night cycle, but she couldn't sleep. Every time she tries to close her eyes, memories of the last battle, of how many they lost there, keep haunting her. There's too much on her mind.

"You should be resting," she tells Cody, even if that's hypocritical. Even if she wants him to stay.

He huffs out a not quite laugh. "You've been down here for hours, General."

Anika finishes the last touch up she was doing on the fighter, setting the brush down and sitting back to look up at him. "You... don't need to call me a title, you know."

"I know... Anika," he says. It's not as strange for him as it would be for the other clones, because he technically outranks her in every way except that she's a Jedi and he's – (he's property, and it makes her sick every time she thinks about it.)

Anika reaches up impulsively, squeezing his hand, and he returns the grip.

It lasts for only a moment, because then she senses and hears someone approaching.

Again.

Seriously. She could almost think this is intentional.

Her boys wouldn't do that, though.

Rex steps into view, approaching them. That's normal enough, but the level of uncomfortableness she can feel from him in the Force makes her think he's not here just because he happened to be awake, too.

"Is everything alright, Rex?" she asks.

"Yes, sir," he replies, glancing between her and Cody, "I... heard about you and Cody," he says, finally.

Oh.

Wait. "How?" Anika demands, heart rate picking up a little. Word shouldn't have spread that far, even if she's not really surprised. Her boys would never mention it to a natborn, but still. She's worried.

"There's been some... rumors," he offers. Probably, Echo told Fives who told Rex.

"And?" Cody prompts, eyeing Rex.

"I don't know anything about... this," Rex replies, "It's your... choice and I know you're... careful, but I'm concerned about word of this spreading."

Of course, Rex would be. At the end of the day, he's the one Anika is closest with. He's the one she's raised Ahsoka with, as though the Togruta is their child. She is. Rex is something like a brother to her, but she's also responsible for him and his superior, so it's... complicated. Hard to name. "We'll be careful, Rex," Anika promises, "Don't worry. We... may still wait until the war is over." They haven't really made a decision in that regard, though frankly Anika doubts they'll wait that long.

Rex nods, still visibly radiating uncomfortableness into the Force.

"But thank you for bringing it up to us. We... do need to be more careful." Because she has no idea how she and Cody were already nearly caught twice.

But whatever happens, even if Echo was clearly not as quiet about it as Anika hoped – he's nine, though. What was she expecting? He's called Echo because he repeats everything he hears, or sees, apparently – she still trusts her boys to keep their secret.

***

It's been some weeks since the initial fiasco, and aside from moments in briefings, Anika hardly finds herself around Cody. It feels like Rex is pointedly standing between them whenever that happens, but that's probably just her paranoia speaking. There's nothing abnormal about that.

She doesn't have a chance to talk to Cody again until they both wind up in the medbay on the next mission – they're in a camp, actually, on the planet's surface, so they're sharing the tent.

She looks up, mildly surprised when he enters. "I hope you didn't get shot just to talk to me again," Anika says dryly.

Cody snorts. "No," he assures.

"An accident then? And a convenient one?"

"Hi!" Ahsoka calls, popping her head through the tent flap, and Anika nearly jumps.

Ahsoka, too, now?

She lets her momentary frustration go, because her padawan's wellbeing is far more important than her own feelings about anything. "Yeah?" Anika asks, shifting a little. Kix told her to lay down, but that's not something she's ever good at. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine," Ahsoka says – surprisingly, though she seems abnormally cheerful right now, sauntering inside and sitting down next to her. There's still a veiled worry lurking in her eyes, and Anika reaches out to squeeze her hand.

"Do you... need something?" Anika asks, and it's a little blunt, and she's not trying to get rid of her, but – okay. Maybe she is. Just a little bit. This is the first chance she's had to be with Cody in a while, but if Ahsoka's here, she always comes first. No matter what it is.

"Not particularly," Ahsoka shrugs, "Just..." The way she trails off, shrugging, is way too suspicious, and Anika narrows her eyes at her.

"Is there something I should know about?"

That's Ahsoka's – failed – innocent face. "Why'd you say that?"

"I don't know. You have the look."

"There's a look?"

"Couldn't miss it."

Ahsoka giggles, and she definitely has that look. Usually, it means her and the boys – especially Fives – are doing something absolutely disastrous that's going to end very, very badly for every single person involved. "Kix asked me to babysit you."

That would be almost insulting if it weren't a legitimate point. "Cody can do that, too."

He throws her a sideways look, smirking.

Ahsoka shrugs, dropping her head to her shoulder and snuggling up against her side. Anika has never thought about having children before, not until... just recently, though she doesn't know if Cody can have children. She didn't want a padawan, either, until she got Ahsoka. Maybe they're not the same, but in a sense, it feels like they are.

Maybe they already do have a child, in a sense, though it's not quite the way Anika meant.

She catches Cody's eyes over the top of Ahsoka's head and offers a tired but still-present smile, which he returns.

Anika doesn't remember dozing off, but she must have, because when she wakes up again, it's... a while later.

Kix is coming into the tent, to check on her condition.

"Do I still need a babysitter?" she asks Kix dryly, when he finally steps back.

"Yes, General, you do. You're not ready to be up yet," he replies, flatly. Why does she still feel like there's more to the story than just that? Maybe she's just being overly suspicious.

"I can handle that," Cody says.

Kix glances at him. "I'll leave you to deal with that," he agrees, though Anika is almost certain he exchanges a look with Ahsoka before heading out.

Jesse comes in a couple minutes later, and he and Ahsoka exchange glances before she moves to leave. Anika still catches the grin on her face before her padawan takes off, and okay, there is definitely something off about that.

They do not need to follow her every minute, thank you very much. She doesn't need a babysitter.

And neither does Cody.

Certainly not when they're together. Thank you, Echo.

***

"I think we're being followed," Anika says in a low voice, glancing over her shoulder as she and Cody make their way through the cruiser. She can sense somebody close by whose attention seems far too focused on them to be coincidental.

"It's appeared that way all day," Cody says flatly. She's noticed, and it's becoming a little bit annoying. They haven't had time to spend just alone in a while, and the moment they're about to get out of the briefing room together, suddenly they're being stalked.

And she has no idea why.

Most of the boys aren't even supposed to know what's happening, though she has no doubt word spread a lot further than it was supposed to.

But it still doesn't make sense for them to be intentionally trying to keep her and Cody apart, though the more time goes on, the more she can't help thinking that is what they're trying to do. Except they aren't being obvious enough about it for her to call them out on it and ask them why. It's almost as comical as it is annoying, if she's being honest.

"Going to your quarters would be too obvious," Cody says in a low voice.

She happens to agree, which was why she didn't suggest it in the first place.

"How about – there?" Anika points to the closet door right in front of them.

That's probably a lot more obvious than going to hide in her quarters, but maybe whoever's stalking them will think they lost the trail, and leave them alone for a bit. She darts forwards, opening it long enough for her and Cody to duck inside, before letting the door slide closed.

For a long moment, they stand side by side in silence, just waiting. She hears footsteps coming closer, and can sense someone right outside the door.

Can they please just leave, and –

The door suddenly opens, Hardcase hovering in the doorway.

... why did she ever think a hiding place that only a child would choose would be a good way to hide from a literal child? "... Hardcase?" Anika asks.

"Sir?" he asks, "Why are you in the closet?"

"I was here – to get some painting supplies," she blurts, coming up with the first excuse she can think of.

"Is this the right one?" Cody asks, entirely playing along as he pulls something off the shelf.

"I can help, sir," Hardcase suggests, cheerfully, "I was coming to get painting supplies, too."

Sure, he was. The Force practically cringes from how much of a lie that is. She won't call him out on it, though. "That's okay, Hardcase," she assures, "We can handle this. You better attend to your duties, first."

"That can wait," he promises, much too flippantly, "Can I help you first, sir?"

Fiiine.

She doesn't have a good reason to make him go away, so she'll have to deal with it. Maybe she and Cody can find some time later, but their break time will be over soon. And now, she'll have to spend the rest of her breaktime coming up with something she's in desperate need of painting, and she'll have to actually paint it, along with Hardcase.

It's not like she minds spending time with any of the boys, but the timing doesn't always have to be so annoying.

***

It's a bit endearing, but far more annoying than anything else. Anika doesn't even understand what the point of this is supposed to be. She has no idea if they're trying to annoy them both to death, or if they're genuinely trying to be helpful, but she really, really wishes they'd stop.

Cody is equally annoyed about it.

Anika is good at hiding, at least. She always has been, but somehow, that doesn't even seem possible when it comes to dodging the boys following her everywhere.

"They're getting even harder to lose," Cody grumbles when she runs into him again, finally, in the halls of the cruiser, "And even more distracting."

Are they trying to annoy them both to death, or keep them safe? Anika has no idea, but she knows what she wants, and she won't settle for anything less. Neither of them will. She wants a life outside of war and battle, something to look forward to, something aside from the Order.

She lost that when her mother died, and this is the only chance she has at ever being anything more.

If closets won't work for hiding spots, they'll have to find somewhere else to go.

And there's always one place: the best place to hide in all ships, even if it's the oldest trick in the book.

"The vents, it is," Anika decides with a ridiculous level of glee, because they can't excuse coming up here on the assumption they'd even notice.

Or, you know, so she thought, until Fives pops in about five minutes later.

And of all the places they could've been caught, this is the most incriminating. "What are you doing up here?" Anika asks, pulling back from Cody what she really hopes was fast enough.

"This is Echo's and my lounge spot," he insists, and on second thought, that genuinely sounds like something they'd do.

"Here?" Anika queries dubiously, anyway, deciding to just play along, "I didn't know that."

"Are you stalking us?" Cody asks incredulously, and Anika has great respect for him managing not to sound annoyed.

"Why would you think that?" Fives queries immediately, ever the worst liar aboard the ship. There are many things Fives is good at, but lying is not one of them.

"Someone was following us," replies Anika, bluntly.

"Really?" Fives asks, and it sounds beyond fake.

"Yes, really," Cody answers, clearly unimpressed.

He shrugs a shoulder. "What are you two doing up here?"

"What do you and Echo do up here?" Anika throws back, because she somehow doesn't think that's entirely a lie, and would very much like to know.

"Talk," Fives supplies.

More like plan mischief, but yes.

"That's what we were doing, as well," Anika replies, dryly, and distinctly picks up on the you were? from Fives, though he doesn't say anything. Presumably, that means he did see a tiny bit more than he should have.

This... is not working. At all.

And it's getting very, very annoying. She's going to talk to Rex.

***

This has gone on long enough that Anika really needs answers. She goes to Rex the next chance she has. "Do you know what's going on with the boys?" she asks, "Every time I'm with Cody alone, one of them is practically stalking us."

Rex looks almost guilty, though she knows whatever it is, it's not something he actually agreed to participate in. "Word still got around about... that," he replies, almost uncomfortably, "The boys don't understand what it means, and they seem afraid it's going to hurt you somehow."

...

She never considered either of those things, though she did wonder. It's not as if the clones have a way to know much about this sort of thing, especially not the younger ones. Their lives are totally... different than natborns. They don't understand anything about families in the same way.

"Should I speak with them about it, sir?" Rex asks. "I told them to stop, but I don't believe they've been listening."

Anika shakes her head, almost amused. "I'll talk to them."

That's probably for the best, though it will mean giving at least a vague confirmation about her and Cody.

She has Rex call the boys she knows have been stalking her to somewhere private so she can talk to them.

Echo, Fives, Jesse, Kix, and Hardcase all show up, along with Ahsoka, who looks a little guilty, but mostly just amused. Probably, she doesn't fully understand, and the whole thing is a game to her.

Also, it would help if she wasn't so tempted to laugh right now. "I heard a confession from someone that you've been... stalking me," she says, getting right to the point.

"What?" Hardcase yelps, "Who sold us out? I mean –"

"That doesn't matter, does it?" she asks, dryly, "The point is I know, and I would like to know why."

All of them look at each other.

She and Cody, and Rex, of course, really are their parents already, aren't they?

"It's about... Cody," Fives supplies, unsurprisingly the first to find his voice.

"I'm not going to be... hurt by it," she tells them, because that is the last thing they need to be worried about. It's helping her, giving her something to look towards.

"But it's not allowed, either," Ahsoka objects, "If this really is... true?"

She doesn't really know how to go about explaining that to her padawan, even if she doesn't think Ahsoka would turn them into the Council anymore than the boys would. It's not like their relationship is really real yet, either. "I know," she replies, "It's against the Code, but we..."

Ahsoka raises an eyemarking at her.

"How did you think stalking me was going to change anything?" she asks, changing the topic.

"It was working, wasn't it?" Jesse queries, a little too innocently.

Yes, it was, and she's still not impressed by that, even if their concern is always touching. "By making things unnecessarily difficult for all of us?"

"We didn't know what else to do," Jesse defends. "Are you it won't hurt you? I thought that..."

She really, really does not want to know what he's about to ask. And for all their sakes, she won't let him have to finish. "Yes, I'm sure, Jesse. You don't need to worry about it. It's... perfectly normal."

None of them look very convinced.

"Really," she sighs, "How do you think humans have survived the past millennia? It's not like we had cloning back then."

Ahsoka snorts. "I don't want to know, actually," she pipes up.

"But you're ignoring us," Fives blurts, and Echo shoots him a scandalized look.

"What?" Anika asks, blinking.

"You're spending all your extra time with Cody," Fives elaborates, and he nearly sounds like he's whining.

He is nine. She... should not be surprised that it's upsetting him.

Echo looks like he one hundred percent agrees, and also wants to disappear into the floor from how much his twin is embarrassing him.

"Okay," Anika says slowly, opting to not point out that it wouldn't have been nearly as much a problem if she didn't have to spend so much time actively avoiding them all. "That's fair. So... if I can assure you I won't spend any less time with you, will you stop stalking me?"

They all look at each other. To be fair, they can't really say no to that question, and Ahsoka just starts giggling.

"Yes, sir," Jesse volunteers finally, and the others almost reluctantly express their own agreements.

Which... is about time, but she's presently inclined to think, purely on the spur of the moment, that she'd like to make things with her and Cody official. She thinks she'd like an additional parent to help her with her kids, anyway.

"And," Anika adds as an afterthought, "How about we all spend some time together? And just do what we do?" She likes that thought. They'll be going on another mission soon, and it's hard to say what'll happen there – they're going to be shipped off on some classified mission to rescue Master Piell who the Separatists captured, and it's hard to say what'll happen, but somehow, she thinks they'll be fine.

***

They don't have a way to make the wedding legal, but it's real for her and Cody. There were no wedding ceremonies on Tatooine, anyway. They didn't have a way to do that there, and the clones know nothing about it.

She invites all the boys who already know – she would've called more, but they really don't need people to start talking, so the ones who do know were all sworn to secrecy.

And from there, they all end up in a snuggle pile in Anika's quarters.

Jesse, Kix, and Hardcase do the smart thing of piling on the floor, as does Rex. Ahsoka and the Domino twins are making a genuine effort to squeeze in between her and Cody, and everyone ends up piled on top of each other by the time they're done wiggling around.

But she's just glad to have them here. It's... comforting, a constant reminder that they're here. And that they're safe.

She waits until she hears the others' even breathing, and is fairly certain that everyone else is asleep before twisting around to look at Cody. At least, about as much as she can when Ahsoka is sprawled mostly on top of her, and Fives seems determined to write her left arm out of existence, as much as right arm is.

"At least we finally have some time now, Cody," she says, barely above a whisper.

He snorts. "Yes. I didn't expect it to take... marriage for that to happen.

"Me either."

"I don't even know what that means. Not... really."

Now that it's actually official, it gives Anika a chance to think about all the things that come with that. Finally, she has the chance to have a real family. Not that the family she has now isn't real, but it's... "I don't know if clones can... actually have children," she admits, because she rather doubts the Kaminoans would've let that be possible. "Not that that's practical during the war anyway, but I think we already have one."

She glances pointedly at Ahsoka.

Cody glances pointedly around the room, clearly amused. "Just one?"

"We're officially adopting Echo and Fives next," she decides, amused. She'd say all of them, but those are the primary two Cody knows.

He chuckles. "They need it. Sometimes, I wonder how Rex handles them."

"Me too."

Fives shifts next to her, suddenly. "Can I call you Mom?"

He's joking, and Anika knows it, but the request is still ridiculously touching. "Of course, son."

Fives yelps, and she laughs.

She realized how much she wanted to be a mother when she first got Ahsoka as a padawan, but it's even more true now, and even if she can't have biological children, Ahsoka and the boys are all she needs.