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As a wise man once said, thank fuck for modern technology.
That wise man was Jimin when he realized he could facetime his boyfriend in the military.
Don’t get him wrong, inking heartfelt emotions onto smooth paper, then spraying it with his signature cologne, and sealing the envelope with a kiss, is very romantic. He has done it, multiple times (and Seokjin keeps each and every one of the letters under his pillow).
But it couldn't compare to seeing the face of the man Jimin loves most, as he explains his captivating worldview on fish.
“-and I think yellowfin tuna is great and all, she's pretty, but she's not that special, you know? And yet, she always gets the most attention! Just because she's a little more out there with her stripes and fancy dorsal fin... I, for one, think the more laid-back girlies deserve love too! Blackfin and bigeye tuna are great! They're pretty in their own special way! And little tunny!," Seokjin gasped, eyes growing wide, and leaned closer to the camera. "Little tunny is so precious, Jiminie, it's small and cute, and you know I love small and cute things!”
Jimin sighed lovingly, staring at the screen with sparkling eyes. He was lying on the couch on his stomach, feet bent and swinging in the air, feeling like a lovesick teenage girl.
"I know you do."
Seokjin grinned and sent him a wink.
"You don't even get mad at me anymore for comparing you to a fish."
"I realized that's your love language," Jimin said fondly, heart growing twice its size when he noticed the blush flooding Seokjin's ears.
That was one advantage of the short hair. Seokjin could not hide his adorable reaction behind it. Jimin was living for it, trying to fluster the man at every chance he got.
He also liked rubbing Seokjin's head, and getting to caress his face without the hair getting in the way. And another great aspect of the look was how it enhanced Seokjin's features, like his pretty face shape and his eyebrows. He looked unreasonably handsome, but that was a surprise to nobody.
So, yeah, Jimin liked his short hair. What he did not like was the reason behind having it.
"Stop making that face," Seokjin said suddenly, making Jimin blink in confusion.
"What face?"
Seokjin stuck out his lower lip in an exaggerated pout. Jimin was surprised to notice he had indeed been doing that.
"That face. Where your lips look like the number three. I want your lips to look like a U or at least a parenthesis turned sideways!"
Jimin stared at the screen.
"What are you even talking about."
Seokjin sighed, rubbing his nose dramatically.
"You don't understand modern day flirting, honey," he declared, but then his voice turned ever so slightly more serious. If Jimin hadn't known him for so long, he might not have noticed. "I know it's difficult, but I don't want you to forget how to be happy!"
Jimin pressed his lips together, meeting Seokjin's eyes through the tiny square screen.
"I'm trying not to," he said, voice slipping dangerously close to serious. He swallowed. He didn't want to ruin the mood. "Anyways, tell me more about this tiny tunny, or what was it called-"
"Jimin," Seokjin's gaze was concerned. He looked like he wanted to reach through the phone, and Jimin wished he were able to. "Baby, tell me-"
Suddenly, there was a noise from his end of the line, making Seokjin look up from his phone, expression hardening into alertness. Jimin heard someone talking, but couldn't make out what they were saying.
He got the idea as soon as he saw a flash of disappointment tear through Seokjin's expression.
"Really? Already?," Seokjin asked. He sounded upset, but managed to school his emotions. "Okay, just give me a second."
Jimin's heart sank. He knew exactly what was coming.
Seokjin turned back to him with an apologetic frown.
"Sorry, love-"
"You have to go," Jimin finished it for him with a sad smile. "I know."
He heaved a deep sigh, but then lifted his jaw and raised a hand in dumb little salute.
"Do your duties, my brave soldier!"
Seokjin watched him for a second, without saying a word. Then, he leaned in so his lips filled out the frame, sending a virtual kiss to Jimin. It looked objectively silly, yet it made Jimin's throat constrict with a lump he couldn't swallow.
"I'll call you as soon as I can," Seokjin promised. Jimin nodded, unable to say anything else.
The voice in the background spoke again and a mask of determination raised up over Seokjin's features. He nodded towards Jimin one last time, then ended the call.
Jimin's smile fell from his lips immediately.
He was staring at his phone long after the screen went black. He didn't even move an inch. His head was swimming, but at the same time, he could not form a single coherent thought.
He felt empty.
He had thought he'd get used to the feeling after a while, but that never happened.
Eventually, he got up and the day went on. Because you go on, even with the all-consuming abyss inside your chest.
At least he could see his Seokjin's face nearly every day. He couldn't imagine the pain of not even getting a glimpse of your loved ones for so much time.
----
Nevermind, he could imagine it.
Jimin: what do you mean you can't call?
Seokjin: the other soldiers have rest time and they're trying to sleep, and said we're too loud.
Jimin: why are they sleeping in the middle of the day?? also, get earplugs??
Seokjin: babe
Jimin: don't babe me, they can't just forbid us from talking!
Seokjin: they just asked us to text instead, just this one time, which is still better than nothing!
Jimin: but i can't see you like this :(
Seokjin: I can send you a pic if you want
Seokjin: [sent a photo]
Jimin: you're cute
Jimin: where are you tho, i don't recognize that wall
Seokjin: [sent a photo]
Seokjin: lol look at that seal
Jimin: stop sending me memes you're trying to distract me
Jimin: okay that seal is actually funny
Jimin: but this is just not the same :( i like listening to you talk and watching your expressions
Seokjin: creep
Jimin: only for u
Jimin: when is your next day off?
Seokjin: are you sure you want to know?
Jimin: shit, it's that long?
Seokjin: ...it's in january
Jimin: JANUARY?????
Jimin: they didn't even let you off for your birthday, nor even for fucking christmas, and now they’re taking away your new year’s eve????? who's gonna kiss you at midnight?? who's gonna kiss ME at midnight?????
Seokjin: :( i'm so sorry Mini
Jimin: but that's just not fair
Jimin: for fucks sake, they should let you off for at least one day!
Seokjin: fuck's*
Jimin: not now grammar police, im fuckign angry
Seokjin: fucking*
Jimin: we could be if you finally came home!! but apparently that won't be UNTIL JANUARY
Seokjin: how will you last that long you pervert
Jimin: that's the point, i won't!! i need you mentally, emotionally, physically RIGHT NOW didn't they think of that??
Seokjin: oh come on you big baby, i bet you're making the •᷄3•᷅ face again
Jimin: no I'm making the angry version of it
Seokjin: so like •᷅3•᷄ ?
Jimin: ...i can't even be mad when you're this cute
Seokjin: :3
Seokjin: :3333
Seokjin: look it has quadruple chins
Jimin: you're the love of my life i miss you so much
Seokjin: interesting reaction, but very valid
Seokjin: And I miss you too, Jimin. So much.
Jimin: :( I really wish you could come home sooner
Seokjin: time will pass so quickly, you blink twice and i'm back!
Jimin: i blinked and you're not :(
Seokjin: i'm there in spirit
Seokjin: and in ramyeon packaging ;)
Jimin: that does not help
Jimin: but i appreciate you trying to cheer me up
Seokjin: :)
Seokjin: i'm so sorry, love, i gtg :( tty as soon as possible!!
Jimin: what, texting is bothering them too?? were you pressing the screen too loudly?? jfc...
Seokjin: no but i have a task and you have a shoot
Jimin: what
Jimin: oh shit you're right i have a shoot in an hour
Seokjin: yeah, and you're gonna be amazing, but you need to go now
Jimin: no
Seokjin: Jiminie
Jimin: NO.
Seokjin: i love you, Jimin. See you soon, bye!
Jimin: i wish :( I love you too
Jimin wiped his eyes, blinking up at the ceiling to keep the rest of the tears in.
Maybe it was for the best that Seokjin couldn't see his face. It was easier to joke about it, to pretend things were okay through texts.
Seokjin was very good at that. Pretending to be okay. Acting like it was nothing. Like it was easy and lighthearted, just another minor inconvenience he had to get through. He was trying to be strong for both of them, for all of them. But sometimes his mask cracked and Jimin could see that he was scared too, and sad, and tired, and it broke Jimin's heart that he couldn't do anything about it.
It just wasn’t fair. Not fair at all. Seokjin deserved better, they all did. No one should have to be trained for violence.
But not like he could do anything about it.
Jimin shook his head in defeat. This helpless emotion was becoming more familiar every day, weighing on his shoulders like a coat of armor, when he was not even a soldier yet.
But he had a shoot to do. So he wiped his face, took deep breaths, and went to change.
----
He got back at around eight. He used to be wide awake at this time, counting it still as early evening, but now, he felt exhausted. Doing shoots and other activities alone was immensely more tiring than with the others.
He kicked his shoes off, shrugged his clothes onto the nearest chair, and fell onto the couch with a sorrowful sigh. He smushed his face into the closest pillow, didn't even care that his makeup would rub off on it.
His chest was heavy. He wanted to cry but at the same time felt like he'd run out of tears. Empty, empty, empty, and so alone...
Suddenly, his phone pinged, and Jimin's heart jumped. He pulled it out, rolling onto his back, hoping with his entire being that the message was from Seokjin or the other guys.
But it was from the delivery service.
Jimin huffed out a tired, ironic laugh, rubbing a hand over his face.
At least he'd have something to eat soon. Food always helped a little with loneliness.
He quickly texted his manager to thank her for ordering. Jimin hadn't even thought about it, but the woman must have noticed his dejected mood at the shoot, and wanted to cheer him up a little. She and the staff had been very nice and guilt was eating away at Jimin for not showing them his appreciation enough, but it was hard.
It shouldn't have been, in fact, it used to be so easy, to stay kind and optimistic and enthusiastic towards the world. But that was before his loved ones and two years of his own life was ripped away from him, plaguing him with the knowledge that it would never be the same, not even when it would seem like everything was back to normal.
These thoughts whirled in his mind until he forgot how to form the words he wanted to write to his manager. He sighed and dropped his phone onto the couch. He'll text her later.
The thought of food was able to encourage him to pull himself up and go change into more comfortable clothes. He opened the wardrobe and immediately reached for the pile of pink items in the corner, ones he'd been wearing for a few days now.
He pulled on the soft hoodie that still had Seokjin's scent clinging to it. Jimin buried his face into the fabric, hugging himself and pretending for a second that it really was his boyfriend holding him tight. The clothes were oversized on Seokjin, so they swallowed up Jimin's figure in the coziest embrace, offering some solace for his troubled soul. Jimin took a deep, shaky breath.
He was washing the dishes from the day prior when the doorbell rang. Jimin's stomach growled in sync with it, and he rushed to the door after drying his hands.
He glanced out the peephole and blinked in surprise. Instead of the usual guy, it was a tall man wearing the delivery service's uniform, a baseball cap that covered half his face, and a mask that covered the rest of it. He was holding the box of food in gloved hands, the smell of Jimin's favorite meal spilling in even through the door.
Jimin opened the door with a smile that was probably less friendly than intended. He wanted the interaction to be over with as quickly as possible. He wanted to bury his sadness in food.
"Delivery for Park Jimin?," the delivery guy asked. He didn't look Jimin in the eye, staring at his hoodie instead, seeming shy. He also had a nasally voice, almost cartoonish, but Jimin wasn't one to make fun of these things.
"Yes, thank you so much," he took the box from the man, bowing politely. He quickly put it on the shoe rack, pulling out his wallet to pay. "Sorry, how much is it exactly? This was ordered for me by a friend, and I'm not sure."
"Uh, actually, let me check," he heard the guy say, his voice muffled by the mask. He took out his phone and started tapping on the screen, slightly embarrassed. "I'm new, to be honest, so let me just look up our prices, sorry."
"Of course," Jimin waved a hand, holding back a sigh. "Don't worry about it."
As he watched the man type, he noticed the MapleStory sticker on the back of his phone. His heart clenched.
"I like MapleStory, too," he said wistfully, making the man hum in interest.
"Really?"
"Yes," Jimin nodded. He cleared his throat. "I was introduced to it by someone I love very much, and it always reminds me of them."
"That's very sweet," the man said, his voice dipping a little lower, and Jimin had to scold himself, because how painfully lonely you have to be to hear your boyfriend's voice in a random delivery person, that's just pathetic. "I'm sure your boyfriend appreciates it a lot that you play with him."
"I hope so," Jimin laughed, but then the words settled in. He paused, eyebrows rising in shock. "Wait, sorry, what did you say?"
"Oh, okay, I found the price!," the man said, ignoring the question, and Jimin's eyebrows furrowed even more, because either he was hallucinating, or the delivery man had the exact same voice as Kim Seokjin. "Here it says that..."
The man tapped on his phone, and Jimin's heart was beating in the same rhythm as his fingers on the screen.
Those fingers looked awfully familiar, even with the gloves on.
"Your price for this meal is... ," the man started, looking up and finally meeting Jimin's gaze as he pulled down his mask.
Twinkling eyes, gorgeous face, plush lips forming a wide grin.
"Your price is one kiss!"
Jimin's mouth fell open. His eyes blew wide like saucers as he gasped for air, hand pressing to his wildly drumming heart.
Because, of course, smiling proudly under the delivery uniform's cap, was none other than Kim Seokjin himself.
The wallet fell from Jimin's trembling hands.
Seokjin's eyebrows rose in panic.
"Whoa, darling, I know we're rich and all, but that's big money you're throwing around there, I-"
He couldn't finish the sentence. Jimin flung himself into his arms with full force, jumping on him and wrapping his arms and legs around Seokjin so tightly the man let out a painful hiss. But Jimin didn't ease his hold.
His eyes were wide even as he clung to Seokjin, trying to comprehend what was happening.
"Is- is this real? Are you here?," he asked dumbly, pulling away to stare at him, voice breaking halfway. Seokjin chuckled and Jimin could feel it reverberate in his own chest. His eyes were shining with fondness.
"Yes. I wanted to surprise you, Jimin," he said quietly, arms coming up to pull Jimin close, close, closer, until they were melting into one soft ball of affection, and that was it.
Jimin broke down.
Tears began pouring down his face, his entire body trembling as the sobs ripped through him. His chest heaved and he gasped for air, all of the pent up stress and fear and anger rushing out of him in a tornado. His tears quickly soaked the material of Seokjin's uniform as Jimin pushed his face into the crook of his neck, but neither of them cared.
Seokjin was crying too. Jimin heard the hiccups and felt the tears on his own skin as Seokjin pressed kisses to his temple and buried his nose in Jimin's shoulder. He was holding Jimin so tightly, but at the same time incredibly gently, like he had the world’s most precious treasure in his hands.
Jimin cradled the back of Seokjin's head, his own treasure. The delivery cap was knocked to the floor as he brushed his fingers through the short hair.
They stood like that for long minutes, until their sobs quieted down a little. Until they were silently breathing each other in, finally arriving home.
It was Seokjin who talked first, voice frail and hoarse.
"I can't believe you didn't recognize me."
A chuckle forced itself out of Jimin through the tears. His heart ached, painfully overwhelmed with emotion.
"I'm very out of it, okay?," he mumbled, burrowing further into Seokjin. "And I did not expect to see you until January! How did you even get a vacation?"
"I told them my boyfriend needed me, then mentioned Shakespeare. They got the hint, and decided that they didn't wanna be the next Capulet and Montague, so they let me go for the weekend," Seokjin laughed, now slightly more free and real and joyful, like something was slowly unclasping from around his heart. "That's why I didn't facetime you, because I was traveling home."
Jimin soon found himself giggling too. Relief was filling him with every second he spent in Seokjin’s arms, finally easing him of the worry and anxiety of the last few months.
"Let's go in," he said.
He was expecting Seokjin to put him down, but his boyfriend walked inside the apartment with his hold only tightening around Jimin. He even managed to close the door behind them without letting go of him, before carrying him to the couch and plopping down with Jimin in his lap.
"I can't believe you came in with shoes on, you're horrible," Jimin whispered. Seokjin clicked his tongue.
"Well, I would have had to let you go to take them off, and I had a suspicion neither of us wanted that," he countered, and Jimin could never argue with that.
"You are not letting me go, ever," he declared, clasping his hands together behind Seokjin's neck. "Never ever."
Seokjin laughed, taking off his delivery gloves and gently stroking Jimin's hair.
"I can only promise two days for now, baby, but after we're done with this bullshit, I'm all yours."
Jimin pulled away from the hug just enough to be able to look Seokjin in the eye. They were a little red around the corners from crying. Jimin brushed away the remaining tears with his thumb, then cupped Seokjin's cheeks in his palm.
"You're too pretty to be in the army," he whispered. Seokjin snorted, eyes brimming with love.
"I know," he said wistfully.
Jimin burst out in giggles and squeezed Seokjin's cheeks until his lips protruded like a fish.
“I missed you so much.”
“We talk every day,” Seokjin slurred in his hold.
Jimin raised his eyebrows.
“Your point is?”
Seokjin shook his head with a sigh.
“I love that you’re obsessed with me, yet don't recognize me in a mask and a cap.”
He broke out in squeaky giggles when Jimin slapped his shoulder lightly, head falling back and eyebrows raised in that funny way he only does when he finds something especially hilarious. Jimin knew that he would never hear the end of this story.
But it was fine. He was willing to take on an infinity of teasing if it meant Seokjin would be by his side through it all.
He let the man cackle for a few more minutes, his own cheeks hurting from how wide his smile was as he watched him. But then, he tilted Seokjin’s face back towards him with a hand on his nape.
“I haven’t paid for my order,” he fluttered his lashes. Seokjin’s eyes lit up immediately, but Jimin quickly pressed a finger to his lips before he could lean in. “And while we’re on the topic, how did you even get the uniform and the food? I thought my manager ordered it for me. Did you kidnap a delivery man and steal his clothes?”
Seokjin suddenly looked incredibly proud of himself.
“Well, being cute and famous comes in handy sometimes,” he boasted. “All I had to do was say please and make puppy eyes. It helped that you’re, like, every restaurant's most beloved customer, so when I asked your favorite place to let me deliver the food to you, they were very supportive of the idea,” he explained, then added: “I have to take back the clothes, though. Which is a shame, I think they look good on me, don’t you?”
He sent an over-the-top wink to Jimin, one hand coming up and shoving a finger heart in his face. Jimin intended to give him a deadpan expression, but it turned out way softer than that. He caught Seokjin’s hand in his and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.
His grin widened when he saw the hue of red coloring his boyfriend’s ears.
Seokjin cleared his throat.
“That’s not enough.”
Jimin’s blinked in amusement.
“Not enough? For what?”
“For your food,” Seokjin elaborated. “I’m afraid it costs more than a peck on the hand.”
Jimin’s chest filled with affection. The emptiness vanished, and suddenly he was himself again, a little less lost than before.
His hands slipped down to cup Seokjin’s jaw and he leaned in. Seokjin met him halfway, fingers brushing Jimin’s cheek gently.
Jimin aimed for his mouth, but Seokjin ducked away at the last second to peck his nose, making him chuckle in surprise. But the sound caught in his throat, when Seokjin pressed a gentle kiss on both of his eyelids, then on his forehead, almost reverently.
“I love you,” he breathed, barely audible. "I love you so much."
Then his lips touched Jimin’s, carefully at first, but it was enough to have them both smiling, before they deepened the kiss.
Jimin felt like he could fly.
He was pulled back to Earth when Seokjin suddenly leaned away.
“Okay, but really, how did you not recognize me-”
Jimin surged forward with a laugh, pushing him back on the couch and shutting him up in the best way possible.