Chapter Text
Even though it was morning, no sunlight could be seen. Instead, Harry sat in the dark. His eyes tried to make sense of the pitch black room. Monsters and shadowy figures appeared in the corner, looming over him.
As quickly as they arrived, the shadows vanished as a small beam of light appeared. Harry squinted and looked through the hole. Two angry eyes looked back at him.
"It's seven a.m. boy, what are you still doing in bed?! Get up!"
Uncle Vernon sneered at Harry through the mail slot in the door. (Vernon had installed it himself, claimed it was a window.) Before Harry even has time to get up, the stairs above him start trembling and dust rains down like fresh snow.
"Wake up Potter! We're going to the zoo!"
That was, of course, Harry's cousin Dudley. It was his twelfth birthday and Harry couldn't care less. The zoo did sound like it could be a fun time though, maybe he could swipe some candy from the gift shop.
Harry put on his glasses on and climbed out of the tiny closet. He pathetically stumbles to the kitchen, majorly sleep deprived and preparing himself for a scolding.
His Aunt Petunia's snapping of her fingers jolts Harry's senses, he's definitely awake now.
"Get over here and cook your cousin some bacon! Do I have to do everything around here?!" She commands as she throws her apron onto the counter. Petunia leaves the room, probably to apply her face.
Harry shakily grabs the package of bacon from the fridge and puts some on the pan. Harry hated this brand, it was so greasy. After a few minutes the bacon starts to sizzle and pop. One grease bubble flies into the air and plops Harry on the face. He immediately winces and rushes towards the sink, splashing cold water on his face in an attempt to get rid that burning feeling.
Uncle Vernon taps the table with his fingers.
"Hey, hey, hey! What do you think you're doing?! Bacon's burning, boy!"
Harry runs back over to the pan and places some bacon on both Dudley and Vernon's plates. Vernon mutters something along the lines of 'can't even make cook a decent piece of bacon, that boy' and Dudley immediately begins shoveling it in his mouth.
Harry's mission was complete! He got through the first five minutes of the day with only one minor injury. To celebrate his triumph (if you could call it that), he sits on the floor and eats some dry cereal. It's flat, but at least it's not the sugar free kind Petunia normally buys him.
While he shoveled down his cereal, Petunia eventually came downstairs looking like an off-brand, wrinkled, brunette, housewife Marilyn Monroe. Odd combination, but no matter. Harry thought she looked better without all of those layers of makeup.
"Everyone get dressed, we'll be leaving soon!" She said.
Petunia pinched one of Dudley's cheeks affectionately. In response, he slapped her on the hand. She simply giggled and walked off. Jesus, if Harry ever did that Petunia would probably behead him.
A funny image of Petunia dressed as the Queen of Hearts chased Harry around in his head before Vernon's yelling snapped him out of it.
"Come on boy, get dressed or we're leaving you behind! Don't know why we even bought you a ticket."
Vernon grumbled some more as he walked away. Harry decides he probably should get dressed before someone else yells at him.
Harry quickly changes into a giant red t-shirt and jeans, both second hand from Dudley. The Dursleys were so thoughtful, thought Harry. He laughed to himself.
After getting his shoes on, Harry peeked his head around the corner to the kitchen where Dudley still sat at the kitchen table, ogling his presents in the corner. Harry rolled his eyes.
It took another hour for the family to get in the car. Petunia dropped her glass bottle of perfume on the bathroom floor and it smashed, she made Harry clean it up. Vernon pulled his pants up too high and they split right down the center, he made Harry bring them to Petunia so she could sew them later. Dudley got into all of his presents, he opened all of them. He then complained about how there were only thirty-six, he made Harry count them five times to make sure.
Funnily enough, Harry was the only one to be ready on time. Where would this household be without him?
The Dursleys got in the car. Harry got in after them.
Always a Potter, never a Dursley.