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After a long shift without Buck there to make it better, having hurt his shoulder when a cinder block fell through his side, Eddie's day only got worse when he got home and realized Chris was having insomnia again and a strong storm was approaching in the distance. He approached his son after saying goodbye to Carla and wishing her goodnight. He sat down next to Chris on the small bed, stretching an arm out until his son settled into Eddie's side.
"Are you still old enough for a story?"
"My pajamas are itchy, I feel uncomfortable."
"What's the matter, Chris, why are you nervous?"
Chris rolled his eyes, as was his custom the last few weeks.
"It's nothing, Dad. It just bothers me.
"Well, the little bug one was clean in the last batch, do you want to put that one on?"
"It 's okay."
Eddie held back a sigh, hearing in the distance the storm begin to beat against the roof of the house with force, he rummaged through Chris's drawer until he found the pajamas he was looking for, it was a thinner fabric than the clothes his son was wearing at the moment, so maybe it was going to help him not to feel uncomfortable. He let Chris do the work of changing on his own, standing to the side in case his son wanted his help at some point, but Chris never asked for his help, those little details caressed Eddie's soul, the realization that his baby was getting bigger and bigger and that he could be there to witness it.
After Shannon's death, Eddie lay awake nights, again wondering what he would do now, what would happen to his son and to him, again he was in El Paso all alone with no support from anyone, because Buck was also struggling with his own things and couldn't be there for Eddie, and Eddie had felt selfish wanting Buck to walk through the door of his house in the middle of the night to sleep on the couch as if he belonged in the Diaz house, which he did. It took him quite a while to get back to normal, to accept that Shannon was gone and that he now had people to support him if something went wrong with him or Chris.
"Dad?"
Eddie came back to reality with his son's voice very close to his ear, turning his head Eddie found himself face to face with a rather curious Chris, he had his eyebrows raised in the same strange way he always did when he didn't understand something, a habit Eddie was sure Chris copied from Buck.
"Sorry, Chris, I got distracted for a second, what did you ask me?"
"Will you read me the story now?"
"Of course, yes. Come here."
They lay together on the bed, Chris lying on Eddie's chest while Eddie was propped up against the headboard reading some animal information book that Buck would probably have given Chris.
It only took one chapter and half of the other before Eddie realized that Chris was already asleep, he carefully moved his son, laying him down and covering him with the blankets, Eddie gently stroked Chris' curls so as not to wake him, silently admiring his son's sleeping form and overflowing with love inside because of how much he loved Chris.
He waited next to Chris for a few minutes to make sure he wasn't going to wake up, then he turned on the yellow swivel lamp and quietly left the room with the intention of taking a bath and lying down to sleep, he didn't think he could read any chapter of his book that night because he was too tired, he just wanted to get the heavy feeling off his chest and try not to think about his friend and how he would be going through it at that moment because of the storm.
****
Eddie had already showered and was in his room by midnight, debating whether he should give in to his needs and run to Buck's loft to check on him, or just settle for texting him.
Simple things like that before the lightning Eddie wouldn't even hesitate and would take his son and head for Buck's loft, but ever since the heart of the second person he loved most in this world stopped for three minutes and seventeen seconds Eddie finds it very difficult to make decisions that used to come naturally to him about Buck's life. Some nights he can't sleep, hearing in the distance the sound of his own voice screaming for Buck when he saw him hanging from that ladder.
And they say lightning strikes twice, the one that knocked Buck down had also knocked Eddie away from the ladder, hitting the cold, rough ground a few feet from the truck, Eddie remembers feeling the sting in his hands for a moment, the tingling sensation that comes when you get a jolt of energy, but then he remembers seeing Buck dangling and any injuries Eddie might have had put them on the back burner as he ran, illogically, to the ladder to retrieve Buck, the rational part of his brain telling him there was no way to get the dangling body up the ladder, he tried, three times, Eddie still has the rope burn marks on his hands when after failing to bring Buck's body to Eddie's, Eddie had to let go and rely on the hands of his buddies to make sure he was okay.
Buck was not.
He was not even alive.
And Eddie felt furious with Bobby all the way to the hospital for sending Eddie to drive, then despair set in, when Buck's heart was still not beating, you would think those moments are not easily forgotten, but yes, Eddie had little memory of what had happened after he managed to revive Buck, three minutes and seventeen seconds.
Three minutes and seventeen seconds.
Three minutes and seventeen seconds.
The team had to stay in the waiting room and when they were finally let in to see Buck, Eddie almost threw up right there, the words that a few years earlier Chimney had said to him began to replay in his head with increasing force.
We put that tube in, there’s a good chance it’s never coming back out.
On the first day of Buck's induced coma, Eddie disappeared. He sat on his bed for hours looking at the burns on his hands and wondering to himself what he was supposed to tell Chris when his son asked about Buck, he didn't need to think about it for long having such a smart son he had, it took a short conversation and his own son comforting him for Eddie to get up the courage to return to the hospital.
Some days he would forget all that madness, or try not to think about it, other days, like today, he would cling to the mixed memories of seeing his other half hanging from a ladder and the love of his life lying in the street covered in blood.
Asking, to himself, why not he.
Eddie grabbed his cell phone, intending to stop wasting time and at least call Buck to see if he was okay, the rain had slowed down a bit and the wind had stopped, so Eddie figured that in a little while the storm would probably be gone, Eddie was about to dial Buck's number when the door to his room opened and Chris slowly peeked his curls out.
"Daddy? "Christopher wandered into the bedroom in his dinosaur pajamas, Eddie was sure he had put the bug one on before bed, but perhaps his memory was failing him even to remember that detail. What bothered him was that Chris had called him Daddy, something his son had stopped doing after the tsunami, claiming he was old enough to keep calling him that. It had hurt Eddie, but he had accepted that from then on he was going to be addressed as Dad and not Daddy..
"What's the matter, Chris, honey, did you have a bad dream?"
Chris shook his head, his eyes suddenly starting to sparkle. "You need to get your keys and your coat, Daddy. Come on, hurry up!"
"Chris! What are you talking about?"
His son rolled his eyes, a pre-adolescent behavior that Eddie was beginning to hate. Then he walked over to Eddie, grabbing his jacket from the chair and handing it to his Dad.
"Buck needs us, it hasn't stopped raining for hours, he must be scared, come on, Dad, hurry up!".
"Chris, I don't think it's a good idea to bother Buck at this hour."
His son stood in front of Eddie, taking the cell phone from his father's hands and unlocking the screen, Buck's number was halfway down. "So, why were you about to call him?"
"Fine, you win. Just let me put on my shoes."
"Just hurry up, Dad!"
"I'm hurrying!"
Eddie grabbed the keys to his truck, covering Chris well before exiting the house and locking up behind him, he hurried to the car so his son wouldn't spend too much time in the rain, which only came down to just a minute. Once the car was started Chris pressed the stereo button and began humming as he watched out the window the whole way.
Eddie had to swallow a sigh and accept that apparently that night was going to be Chris and Buck's night and, on occasion if the conversation warranted it, Eddie's as well.
They arrived at the loft in record time, with the rain the streets were pretty empty, at the last minute Eddie realized he had forgotten his keys, so he had to ring the doorbell and hope Buck wasn't so sleepy that he didn't hear it.
Apparently Buck hadn't gone to bed yet. A second after he rang the doorbell, as if he knew who it was, Buck opened the door.
"Hey, Superman!" Buck lifted Chris up to hug him as Chris let out a laugh and played along. "What brings you guys here?" The last he asked, looking up at Eddie.
"We came to keep you company, someone was worried you were having a hard time with the storm."
They settled at the kitchen island, where Chris grabbed some cookbook that Buck must have been learning. Eddie stayed close to Buck, keeping a close eye on the closed shoulders and tense posture that relaxed the more he chatted with Chris. Yes, this was what the man needed.
"Dad was worried too, Buck, he was just about to call you!"
"Oh, is that right, Eds? Do you miss me that much? We've only been apart a day."
"Shut up, asshole." Eddie bumped his shoulder against Buck's, sharing a small smile and then turned to Chris. "Come on, Christopher, we're already annoying Buck, now can you use his uncomfortable couch as a bed, or would you rather sleep next to him and me here?
Chris laughed loudly, holding his little arms behind Eddie's neck. "No! I want us all to sleep together in Buck's bed, please, Buck?"
Buck didn't even think before nodding towards Chris, carefully taking one of his arms and gently removing the prosthetic, Eddie's eyes began to sting with each time he noticed these details that Buck did without thinking, as if Chris's comfort was foremost in his mind at all times. Eddie understood.
"Come on then, superman, we'll have to beat your daddy to the spot." Buck removed a laughing Chris from Eddie's arms, though he was careful to do so.
Eddie couldn't love him more.
Well, he could, apparently.
His brain disconnected for a moment as he watched Buck and Chris converse, just as Eddie had assumed earlier, he was totally left out of the conversation, but that didn't matter to him as he watched his son tell Buck details of his day and how Buck with each word relaxed more and more until he began to force his eyelids to stay open as he listened to Chris.
Eddie moved closer, purposely draping one arm around Buck's waist and resting his chin on Buck's shoulder, the other only taking a few seconds after to tense up before relaxing completely, half falling back into Eddie's chest.
"Come on, Chris. It's late already, we should all go to bed."
Chris snorted, but he heeded Eddie and let go of Buck's arms to slowly walk up the stairs with his hand clinging to the banister, keeping his attention on Chris but not letting go of Buck, Eddie grabbed one of Buck's hands, interlacing their fingers.
"I know you're bothered by the question, but how do you feel?".
Buck closed his eyes tightly, Eddie could see the crinkles at the corners of his eyes as Buck turned his head to the side a little before speaking. "I don't know, Eds, everything was fine and then all of a sudden the memories popped up, which is funny because it wasn't even a real thing."
"Is it about your memories or your coma?"
"Both? I guess." Buck squeezed Eddie's hand tighter, his body tensing again as he spoke." I guess it's kind of confusing, in the coma I was in some kind of reality, I was... happy, you know? My parents loved me, I had Maddie with me, Daniel was alive, it seemed to be the perfect life for me."
"But?"
Buck was silent for a moment, then turned in Eddie's arms, placing his free hand on Eddie's cheek and stroking him with his thumb.
"I wasn't complete, somehow every day I woke up in that dream and saw everything around me, I knew I was missing something." Buck's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "You guys were missing me, you and Chris, I had everything in that fucking dream, all the family I once wanted, but I didn't have my real family there, hell, I didn't even know you in my dream."
"Evan..."
"No, Eds, not now, just... now I just need us to go upstairs and lay down with your kid..."
"Our kid."
"No, Eddie, it's..."
Eddie broke away from Buck to get some distance as he exploded as quietly as possible with his son in the loft.
"No, Evan, Chris doesn't just have a Dad, he hasn't had one since five years ago when you showed up in our lives, you've been helping me raise Chris and you haven't even hesitated for a second to put him first before anything else. And I know he loves you as much as you love him, you have no idea how many times I have refused to let him come here to make sure on his own that you are okay and that nothing has happened to you after separate shifts. You have a special connection that even I don't have with him and instead of feeling jealous about it I'm happy that he can confide in you what he can't tell me."
Raising his hands to wipe the tears from Buck's cheeks, Eddie moved in again, hugging Buck tightly against his body, Buck didn't take a second to collapse against him, hugging Eddie tightly.
"So don't think for a second that you can't say Chris is your son too, because he is, and if it takes some paperwork for you to make sure, then we'll do it."
Whatever Buck was about to say to Eddie was cut off by Chris's call from the loft, hurrying them upstairs because he was cold and wanted to go to sleep, Eddie shook his head as he laughed, leaving a chaste kiss on Buck's neck before pulling away, Buck still had traces of tears on his cheeks but was now smiling towards Eddie and re-intertwined their hands to head towards the stairs.
Chris was in the middle of the bed sprawled out like a starfish, he sat up as soon as he saw them come up, pulling his eyebrows together as tenderly as possible, if anyone asked Eddie.
"What took you so long?"
"We were just having a conversation, do we have room on the bed or will you take up all of it?"
Buck lay down next to Chris, grabbing the boy under the armpits to tickle him, Eddie joined them a moment later and so they spent the next five minutes bantering until Chris began to fall asleep on Buck's chest, his legs stretched over Buck's and his hands clutching his shirt as well.
Eddie stayed next to them, disowning the huge pillow that Buck insisted on having because it was more cushioned, it was a nightmare for Eddie, in the end he opted to set it aside and lay on the mattress without further ado, with a movement to his side Eddie half opened his eyes to see Buck settling Chris better on his chest and stretching out his arm for Eddie to use as a pillow. Eddie left a kiss on Chris's curls and another on Buck's arm before closing his eyes and falling asleep in a matter of seconds.
Buck, on the other hand, lay awake for a while appreciating the view in front of him, the warmth of his favorite person seeping through his chest and Eddie's unique presence just off to the side of his face.
After all the years of searching for a family, Buck had only needed a coma to realize that all what he always wanted had been right there in front of his eyes all along.