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Alex knows he’s taking a risk, showing up at Greg’s flat unannounced like this. He chews his bottom lip as he rings the buzzer, hoping things aren’t quite as desperate as they’ve seemed in the texts he’s pulled out of Greg.
Greg sounds confused over the intercom, but lets him up and is waiting at the door.
“Hello!” Alex calls, putting as much cheer into the syllable as he can.
“Did I… did we have something scheduled?” Greg asks, moving to let Alex through the doorway seemingly unconsciously.
“Nope!” Alex says, putting away his coat and shoes with a confidence that doesn’t quite fill him up.
“Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“Greg,” Alex starts, finally stilling to catch Greg’s eyes and take in the gaunt, scattered state of him. “I’m here for you. Because you need to sleep.”
Greg’s face falls at this, and he turns away from the entry.
“Christ, Alex. I’ll figure something out, I’ll get myself together. You don’t need to look after me.”
“I think,” Alex says, following him to the living room, “that someone does. And I love you. I’m here because I love you.”
They stand still for a moment, Alex cautiously watching as Greg takes one breath, then another. And he deflates, breaking in a way Alex has never seen,
“You have a family,” Greg says, with all the breath left in his lungs, “you can’t just be running off to fix my mess.”
Alex smiles at this, daring to take a step closer to Greg.
“Would you believe Rachel fought me on which one of us would come see you? We’d do it together if not for childcare.”
He takes the final step and wraps his arms around Greg, a familiar circumnavigation made complete when Greg hugs back, sighing wearily into the embrace.
“It’s not like you can show up every time I can’t sleep,” Greg says softly, swaying them gently.
Alex looks up the best he can without letting go.
“Greg,” he answers, “I would move in if that’s what it takes. Just let me look after you for once.”
Greg takes a moment and seems to accept his fate before he asks, “what did I ever do to deserve you?”
“I like to think we deserve each other,” Alex says, squeezing Greg just a bit tighter.
Alex is still holding Greg like he’s afraid to let go as he nuzzles closer into his neck, breathing in Greg’s scent from the clothes he has evidently been wearing for several days. He can feel Greg bristle against him even as he is reluctant to loosen his grip.
“I know,” Greg says, “you think I’ve let myself go.”
“No,” Alex says, looking up to meet his eyes, “I was thinking that it’s been ages since you washed my hair.”
Greg’s smiling as he rolls his eyes, taking the offered bait and Alex’s hand as he walks them toward the shower.
It’s easy enough to get Greg undressed and under the water, and as Alex slowly lathers him he sees the layers of defence falling away. Greg is drained beyond simple exhaustion, pale and shaky beneath the grime. He looks earnestly at Alex for the first time, ego and coping mechanisms washed away. Alex nods knowingly as he presses the soap into Greg’s hands and pulls him into a wet embrace, holding Greg up as his hands begin a familiar routine of washing and massaging Alex’s scalp.
Greg goes pliant, letting Alex dry and dress him wordlessly. Alex’s shepherding them toward the bed is halted when Greg suddenly stops, looking fearfully to Alex in the low light.
“What if it doesn’t work? What if nothing works?”
Alex leans up to kiss him in response, hands cupping Greg’s cheeks.
“I'll recite football stats if that’s what it takes,” he says, regretfully noting the way Greg leans into his touch with a shudder.
Once Greg has climbed into the bed, Alex cosies up to his side, carefully intertwining their legs as he drapes his upper body across Greg’s chest. His cheek is resting above Greg’s steady heartbeat, and he smiles at the way Greg’s body instinctually settles, one of Greg’s large hands cradling Alex’s head and the other at his waist.
“You know,” Greg says with a chuckle, “when I said I needed someone to hold me down until I slept, I didn’t mean it literally.”
“Don’t fight it,” Alex responds, “you know I’m your favourite weighted blanket.”
They fall silent, Alex dutifully resisting sleep until Greg’s breathing has slowed and his hands have stilled against Alex’s skin as warm anchors. Alex breathes a careful sigh of relief, praying that Greg can find peaceful rest.
As he wakes, Alex is first aware of how calm he feels. He’s tucked against Greg’s side so tightly that there’s nothing between them. He realises it has been too long since he’s spent the night here, the degree of cuddling and Greg’s familiar scent things he has missed. He tries to stay still, willing Greg to sleep as long as possible. With his hand resting on Greg’s chest Alex can feel his heartbeat strong and slow, a comfort he knows they are sharing in this moment.
Alex drifts back into sleep, riding the sense of belonging and protection that always comes from being held by Greg.
He wakes again some time later, jostled by Greg who is clutching him tightly and shaking as he cries wordlessly.
“Greg,” he starts, scrambling to catch up, “hey, you’re safe. I’ve got you.”
Greg just looks back at him, panic in his eyes as Alex quickly rearranges them to spoon up behind Greg, holding his chest as tightly as he can and drawing his face up to Greg’s neck.
Alex has never been good with words in a crisis, so he concentrates on holding Greg and resting his head against Greg’s shoulder, bits of reassuring sounds whispered into his ears.
When the storm has run its course, Greg begins to shift, wiping his eyes and turning just enough so that they can talk face to face but stay huddled together.
“I was afraid,” Greg says eventually, finding his voice in stages. “I was afraid to wake up. I thought it wasn’t real, that you weren’t really here.”
“I'm here,” Alex says, burrowing closer against Greg’s chest. “I’ve got you”
And it has not solved all their challenges, nor touched the world of problems outside the bounds of this bed. But safe in the arms of love, as he feels his breathing sync again with Greg’s, Alex thinks he has found a small slice of perfection.