Chapter Text
It goes on like this:
Practice after practice, the sweats on his body began to disturb Seungmin―a lot. But‚ he didn’t stopped. He only grabbed his towel and wiped it all away to show and pretend that he was fine. Because he really is‚ isn’t he?
“What’s going on in that beautiful mind?” is what he would hear from one of the members asking him whenever he looks physically sick. It doesn’t matter who it was‚ he knows everyone asks him that.
He was lost in his thoughts that he didn’t noticed that someone slung an arm around his shoulder from the side‚ and he only snapped out of it when he heard a voice call out to him loud and clear in his ears.
“Seungmin?”
He looks towards the person and saw that it was Minho. Seungmin wanted to ask why he was there next to him‚ but then he heard their choreographer call out to Minho and Hyunjin before he could do so. Minho turns towards the choreographer’s direction before letting his arm drop down and softly pinch Seungmin in the waist before he walks away alongside Hyunjin.
It goes on like this:
Their practice is finally done, and almost half of them were laying on the floor. The eight of them were the only ones left at the practice room‚ as their choreographer already left whilst cheering them on for their upcoming comeback soon enough. Seungmin was sat against one of the tall wall mirrors while catching his breathe.
Who knew that a practice that lasted for 10 hours could be this cruel in disguise?
He wanted to stand up‚ but his feet feels like jelly and he can’t seem to help himself onto getting his normal breathing back after those sessions of practice. He closed his eyes and lets out an exhausted sigh as he wipes off the sweats in his forehead again. He places the towel over his closed eyes and felt someone sit next to him but never really speaking. He only got a poke in the shoulder before he opened his eyes again and took off the towel blocking his vision to see that it was Jeongin.
“Hyung‚ you okay?” Seungmin nodded, he didn’t feel the need to talk at the moment. Jeongin noticed―of course he would―and kept his mouth shut.
They didn’t have anything to talk about‚ so the silence was really loud. It felt like hours‚ until Chan announced that their van is on the way to pick them up so they better pack their things before leaving. Everyone started to scatter and Seungmin watched. And watched. And only watched. Until he felt someone help his body move onto a standing position and sling his bag onto his right shoulder. He felt the person ruffle his golden blonde locks softly before Seungmin was out of his zoning session.
It was Changbin and Felix.
The two looked at him worriedly‚ but he paid it no mind. He started walking away without waiting for the other two who helped him and immediately got outside with the others waiting for them. They all turned around when they felt that Seungmin was already there with them and each gave him a smile.
“Seungmin-ah. You did great today‚”
“Hey, are you feeling fine? You look pale than usual.”
He did not have any answer to those. Thankfully‚ the van came into view and honked towards them to let them know that it arrived. Everyone turned their attention back to the van and one by one‚ got inside. Seungmin watched and waited for Changbin and Felix to return before hoping on last and closing the door. He dropped his bag on the floor of the van and took out his phone to distract himself from the noises that starts to surround their van. He was near the window‚ so he did not have any complains. It was one of his favorite seats on the van, actually. He scrolled through Instagram before he felt bored and hid his phone back into his pocket and close his eyes to try and take a nap.
He felt the seat next to him shift, as another weight gets added on it. He doesn’t open his eyes, and the person next to him doesn’t speak up. But, he knows someone is staring at him. Watching him sleep. Or, at least he pretended to sleep. Seungmin didn’t moved and so does the person next to him, so he continued the act until he hears the van’s engine turning and starts to drive off to their dorm.
Throughout the ride, the person next to him didn’t do or say anything―and it was weird. The members are usually loud or annoying towards Seungmin whether they know he’s trying to act quiet. They’d do ridiculous things like poking his cheeks or giving him cuddles to which mind you‚ he isn’t very fond of. He hates skinship towards his members because his sassiness towards them is already his form of love language. It wasn’t in his norms to be affectionate or clingy because it was them who mostly engage it.
While he’s busy with his thoughts, he felt his hair being ruffled affectionally by the person next to him. He could still hear the other members talking over one another, but at the moment, he felt alone with the person next to him. He suddenly felt safe. But, it didn’t lasted long as he felt the van come to a stop and their van door being slid open by another member and everyone else followed outside. There were whisperings before he felt the last one of the members get off and the person next to him starts to gently wake him up.
“Seungmin-ssi, wake up. We’re at our dorm now, you can continue to rest at your room, I promise.” It was Hyunjin.
Even if he fell asleep for awhile throughout the ride, he can’t deny that he was still very tired. Seungmin started to shift in his seat and slowly opened his eyes to look at Hyunjin. He had an unreadable expression that Seungmin cannot understand at the moment, but he gets out of the van after picking up his bag from the floor and walking inside. The others are already scattered around the house: Jisung, Felix and Jeongin are already playing at what it seems to be Mario Cart, Minho is preparing the ingredients he will use to cook their dinner, while Chan and Changbin are helping each other get the others’ stuff into their own separate rooms.
Seungmin got his shoes off and placed them neatly next to Felix’s and Jeongin’s before he walked past through the chaos and towards his room. Thankfully, Chan and Changbin seems to be busy at cleaning the other members’ room and his was already neatly done. After closing his bedroom door to lessen the noise from downstairs, he let himself fall drastically onto his bed and forget that he was still in his practice attire. He payed it no mind, he can deal with it later. He just wants to rest.
His safe bubble was interrupted when he heard a soft knock from the other side of the door. Seungmin didn’t responded, but he let out a soft hum before the person from the other side speak out.
“Minnie?”
Jisung―it was him, the one outside his door. It was silence after that, but he heard shuffling from outside before minutes passed until he hears footsteps fading out, indicating that Jisung already walked away. Seungmin didn’t felt the need to speak out his curiosity while Jisung was there, but it guilts him to know that he probably made him think that he was already fast asleep.
That was the only reason as to why Seungmin finds himself standing up to see what Jisung left for him outside his door. Slowly, he opened his door and peeked to see if anyone sees him. Sensing that no one is, he grabs the box waiting for him to pick up and softly close the door before placing it at his working desk.
He sat on his chair in front of the table and inspected the box. It can be easily opened from the top, but he can’t help but notice that it looked like a much more fancy looking box than the rest of the box he has seen across their dorm. Curiosity gets the best of him and since Jisung left it outside of his door exactly, it wouldn’t be a mistake to assume that this was for him.
In doing so, the first thing he saw was a letter (probably made by Chan), stating that it was for Seungmin to look at and he hopes that he would enjoy his time rummaging through all of it in his free time—which coincidentally, is his time now. He saw Polaroids of him, his family and the members. There were small letters with designs that looked too far from being made by him in his 18’s. But what piqued his interest was a small, navy blue journal with a pen attached to its side that he found at the corner of the box.
Seungmin picked it up and flipped through all of the pages before seeing that it had no writings in it. Yet. With everything that has been troubling his mind, Seungmin thought that this journal could help him express those emotions of his in his own, private way. So, he was going to make it his mission every day whenever he is in a good or bad mood:
Write in the journal.