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Reminisce (2x11)
Pahele (Trap)
The bottle of whiskey sat unopened with two glasses beside it just waiting to be filled as Joe sat in the same chair where he and John McGarrett used to sit wiling away hours and looked out over the water but only this time he was waiting for Steve, a man he had not only trained but come to care for greatly and one he called his son.
“Joe.” Steve was not surprised to find his pseudo father figure and former Commanding Officer sitting in his backyard looking out over the water nor was he surprised to see the bottle of whiskey that was just waiting to be cracked open.
“Steve.” Joe greeted without taking his eyes off of the water sensing as Steve took the chair beside him. “I figured a bottle of whiskey would not go astray tonight.”
Steve watched Joe closely as his guilt swelled that the man’s long and distinguished career was over due to a decision that he had made all on his own, and no apology would be able to fix it.
“Stop son.” Joe did not need to look at Steve to know that he was still feeling guilty about what the outcome of his hearing had been. “I made the choice and I would do it all over again.” He had a promise that he intended to keep. “Enough with the guilt and get pouring the whiskey.”
“Yes Sir.” Steve grinned as he reached out, picked up the bottle and uncapped it before filling the two glasses with double pours. “So what are we drinking to?” He asked once Joe had taken the filled glass from him.
Joe turned the glass around in his hand swirling the liquid as he went. “To the Navy.” He tipped the glass towards Steve because despite his forced retirement he still loved the very institution as it was the only thing he really knew.
Steve looked at Joe unsure of what he was expecting as a toast when he had asked but he could admit ‘the Navy’ was not what he expected Joe’s answer to be. “To you Joe.” He decided to toast the man next to him rather then the Navy as he was having a hard time loving it ever since Freddie’s death and this rail-roading of Joe and his career only made it harder. “That is a nice whiskey.” It was rich yet balanced and not something he drunk all that often.
“It might have been a parting gift.” Joe stated rather coyly.
“Oh, I know that look.” Steve smirked understanding that the bottle was not so much as gifted as it was uplifted. A deeper chuckle left his lips before he bought the glass back to his lips and took another sip savouring it.
“I have no idea what look you are referring too.” Joe mustered every bit of innocence he could although it was not enough given the way Steve’s smirk grew.
“Uh-huh. I’m sure you don’t.” Steve relaxed back into the chair as he rested the glass down on the arm of the chair. “I didn’t think we would be here like this.” The admission slipped out unbidden and he glanced at Joe before looking back out at the view in front of him.
Joe let a soft, barely audible, sigh out. “Neither did I... I certainly never foresaw you going to Reservist duty but I know that something changed, something invisible broke, in you after those last two missions with Freddie and then John.” He did not miss the way Steve tensed and he knew he was teetering on a dangerous edge as the conversation had taken a morose turn thanks to his own doing. “And I never thought I would actually retire but here we are.”
Steve had grown uncomfortable at the mention of Freddie and John in the same sentence and his changing relationship with the Navy as he certainly had not realised that it was obvious. “I don’t think anyone thought you would be retired.” He ignored the first part of Joe’s statement instead choosing to focus on the second part. “If I recall there were a few bets about how you would spend your years making plenty of sugar cookies* out of the tadpoles*.
“Yeah well you were one of those tadpole sugar cookies on more than one occasion by my recollection.” Joe smiled indulgently at the memory. “It got to a point where I was wondering if you liked rolling around wet in the sand.”
“No one enjoys being made a sugar cookie but instructors certainly took pleasure in making them.” Steve cringed at the memory before he took a sip of whiskey.
Joe chuckled wryly at Steve’s cringing. “I can’t even deny that.” He sipped from his glass prolonging it. “You were my greatest student, still are.” He was proud of not only the SEAL but of the man Steve had become and that was not even factoring in his accomplishments.
“Thanks Joe.” Steve was sincere with his words. “I was thinking just a couple of weeks ago about that tour we did in Iraq where I got injured and was laid up for a week or so in the infirmary.” He wasn’t sure what had made the memory resurface in the middle of the night but it had and it seemed to be lingering around.
“What made that memory break loose?” Joe asked as he certainly remembered the exact moment the I.E.D (improvised explosive device) went off in a local village where they were patrolling and of course Steve had to be the self-sacrificing saviour by throwing himself in the blast radius and using his protected body as a shield to save a little boy who would not have been any older than three.
Steve shook his head subtly in response to Joe’s question as it was the one he had been asking himself.
“That was the first time you managed to shave a few years off of my life expectancy.” Joe had not missed the subtle shake of Steve’s head to his question which is why he carried on with the conversation. The memory of finding Steve in a prone position over the little boy unmoving with dirt and debris over him played out in his head. “You were lucky that day to walk away with the injuries you did.”
“Yeah... That concussion was the worst I ever have had.” Steve grimaced at the memory as it was what had him laid out for close to two weeks as he had suffered from a whole range of symptoms – headache, nausea and vomiting, fatigue, dizziness, some slurred speech, sensitivities to sound and light, and a struggle to concentrate – which had left him completely miserable and that was without the multitude of cuts and abrasions that he also had received. “But I still knew when you were there.” The grimace was soon replaced by a warm smile because even in his concussed state he knew that Joe was there at his infirmary bedside at different times of the day and night.
Joe shook his head as he sipped the whiskey as he did not need to respond because both he and Steve knew that he had been there in the infirmary.
A roll of his eyes was Steve’s answer to Joe’s non answer. “So what is next then Joe?” He tentatively asked the question even though he did not expect an honest answer as Joe seldomly ever gave one.
A chuckle left Joe’s lips as he swirled the liquid around in the glass. “I’ll figure something out.” He was rather blasé and vague about his plans going forward deliberately.
“I’m sure you will.” Steve had no doubt that Joe already had something worked out and that he would not be privy to whatever it was because after all Joe was the gatekeeper and master of all secrets. As infuriating as it was to be kept in the dark, he was going to say nothing as his guilt at being the reason for Joe’s retirement was still eating away at him and he did not want to ruin the evening as they had a fine bottle of whiskey to drink. “You are a great man Joe.”
Joe turned his head towards Steve struck by how striking the similarities were. “One leave not so long ago I ended up here with your Dad and a decent bottle of scotch.” He looked back out at the ocean seeing that it would not be long before the sun would start setting.
The abrupt change of topic and the statement that accompanied the change was not what Steve had expected but he wanted to see where it would lead. “You did?” He was not surprised that he did not know about the visit but there was a lot he would never know and he would always regret not coming home or being better at keeping in touch with his father.
Joe hummed quietly pausing to refill their glasses blindly. “We spent a lot of the time talking about you and Mary.” He announced before he sipped from his glass. “He spoke a lot about his regrets, about the lives he hoped the two of you would have, and about retirement.” It felt like it had been years ago. “By the time the bottle of scotch was empty, we figured out that we weren’t built for retirement.” He chuckled as another thought entered his mind. “In all fairness, you found someone else damned good at keeping you out of trouble... I am glad that you have Danny.” Part of the conclusion (and the reasoning not to retire) was the fact that Steve would need someone to keep him out of trouble and it was a near full time job before Danny found his way into Steve’s life.
“I am too.” Steve liked Joe’s acknowledgement of Danny. “And I don’t look for trouble!” He protested despite the knowledge that Joe had more than a few stories that proved trouble found him and could share them with Danny if he was inclined to do so. “It just happens to find me more than most.” He would concede the point to Joe albeit begrudgingly.
A grin tugged at Joe’s lips at Steve’s dogged admission. “I bet that hurt.” He teased as he grinned into his glass.
“Someone taught me to have thick skin.” Steve shrugged off the comment. “All those sugar cookies and night crawls helped.”
Joe shook his head amused but said nothing more as the sun had begun to set and it had been a while since he had watched one without the need to rush anywhere.
Steve let his eyes flit between Joe and the setting sun sensing that they were done talking for the time being which he was fine with as he sipped at his glass of whiskey. The man beside him had risked and lost in order to save him and for that he would be endlessly grateful.
As the sun set and the bottle of whiskey was emptied thoughts of Montana rose and settled in Joe’s mind like a beacon and as he looked at Steve the idea solidified now that the man who he considered to be a son was going to be okay. It was a starting point and an end point with just the middle to be decided and filled.
* Sugar cookies = What happens when a wet BUDS student is told to roll in the sand for one hundred yards.
*Tadpoles = A BUDS student.