Work Text:
Heading Home (2x10)
Kil'ilua (Deceiver)
The pain was relentless, and the altitude and bouts of turbulence were not helping as the nine almost ten hour flight from North Korea back to Oahu seemed endless and had Steve gritting his teeth and shifting restlessly. He was still feeling a little lost and bewildered and he knew it was not all from the concussion that he was sure he had as he still could not wrap his (foggy) mind around the fact that his team had flown in to hostile territory and rescued him. And that was without the matter of Shelburne which he had not even begun to try and untangle in his scrambled mind.
The plane was quiet and sleep was forthcoming for the SEAL team, Joe, Gutches, Lori, Chin and Kono but Danny was worried about Steve and his silence as he continued to shift restlessly. “Stubborn Neanderthal.” He muttered as he pushed himself out of the narrow seat and made his way over to where Steve had isolated himself away from everyone else. The isolation was not a surprise despite how much Danny hated it, hated that Steve felt the need to hide away and to suffer alone in silence, and while he knew the instinct to be alone was deeply engrained in Steve it did not mean he was not going to at least try.
“Hey babe.” Danny kept his voice soft as he got within earshot of Steve as the last thing he wanted to do was wake the rest of the team as they were all exhausted.
Steve startled and blinked heavily as he craned his neck to look up at Danny. “Hey Danno.” His voice had not lost the rasp that had developed from having the rope pulled taut around his neck which went along with the vivid bruising that was still forming.
Danny sat down next to Steve who had somehow made himself comfortable on a blanket on the metal floor of the plane with his back up against a wooden crate away from prying eyes. “Why aren’t you sleeping babe?” He lightly bumped his foot against Steve’s making sure not to jostle him as he knew he was hurting but he also knew how much he needed the physical contact.
“Could ask you the same thing.” Steve grunted as he pressed his hand to his ribs as they ached viciously while subconsciously leaning a little more into Danny.
“Come here babe. Rest you aching head down on my shoulder if you want.” Danny offered as he knew regrettably what it was like to have a concussion and Steve certainly had one, and he raised his arm up as Steve shifted to do just as he said laying his head down before he eased his arm back down lightly hugging him. “I know that there is a lot going on in that concussed brain of yours, I do, and some to it I can’t even begin to fathom but I want, need, you to know that you are not alone Steven.” He let his fingertips kneed at the corded and strained tendons and muscles along Steve’s arm and up into his neck.
The stress, the pain, the exhaustion and the subsequent adrenaline crash had all piled on top of each other. The warmth, the comfort and the familiarity of Danny had Steve’s tense and pain filled body involuntarily relaxing against his will. “I still can’t believe you all came and risked what you did for me.” He mumbled as he settled his head more comfortably on Danny’s shoulder albeit hesitantly.
“We weren’t going to leave you behind.” Danny assured Steve quietly. “People are quite fond of you babe.”
The chuckle quickly turned into a pained groan and Steve shifted trying but failing to ease the aching. “Does that include you?” He asked as he lifted his head off of Danny’s shoulder repositioning himself so that he was rested back up against the crate.
“I came to North Korea to drag you back home to the pineapple infested hellhole you insist on rampaging through on a good day. What does that tell you babe?” Danny answered sharply not missing the wince as they hit another patch of turbulence.
Steve braced himself against the floor and the crate although it did nothing to help. “How long is left of this flight?” He knew the total time of the flight but he had lost track of how long they had been in the air, and he had never wanted a flight to end so much.
Danny hid his unease at how Steve was unaware of how long they had been flying but he could also see how much additional pain the turbulence was causing. He glanced at his phone after he had pulled it out of his pocket as Joe had given everyone their phones and badges once they left the ground as it was deemed to be safe. “About four and a half hours... Do you want something for the pain?” He doubted Steve’s answer would change from refusal to acceptance but he had to ask as he hated seeing him in pain.
“No.” Steve refused for the umpteenth time as the bout of bone rattling turbulence passed which had him breathing a little easier for the moment even with his broken ribs. “I just want to go home.”
The words correction the phrase ‘uphill battle’ flashed through Danny’s mind bright like an electric neon sign as Steve was not going to make things easy. “We have to have you checked out by a doc after we land babe.” As much as he knew how highly trained Navy medics were he was still determined that Steve needed to be checked out by a doctor with a degree and a license and who had the power to prescribe the good meds like pain medication that reduced the pain without leaving him out of it and strong antibiotics to curb any infection that he was at a high risk for given the conditions he was held in.
Steve shook his head but aborted the movement just as quickly as his head throbbed in time with the beat of his heart. “We can’t. Got to keep this off of the books.” The rasp was getting worse but he needed to stress the importance of keeping everything off of the record. “I, we, entered enemy territory. If it was just me then it would be different. Nothing can be recorded.” As much as Danny did not like it, he knew that Steve was right, but it did not stop him from sighing. “You still need to be checked out, and I am pretty sure you need a course of antibiotics babe.” As far as Danny was concerned Steve had been through enough without getting an infection on top of it all. “Ah ah, hold on, let me finish.” He could see that Steve was about to protest so he pre-empted it. “Look Steve, I don’t care if it is on or off the record, I really don’t, all I care about is that you are okay.” There was a hint of desperation with his words but he did not care.
Steve slid unceremoniously down until he was laying flat on his back with the blanket cushioning him from the cold metal floor. “I have got everything at home that I need.” He coughed then gritted his teeth as his ribs grumpily protested the movement and he shifted his hand back to his side.
“Easy babe, easy.” Danny shifted trying to figure out a better position for Steve to be in as being flat was not ideal at all. “And don’t think we won’t be talking about that bit of information that you have everything you need once I get back because I am going to find you a bottle of water and see if I can find something to prop you up.” He was not getting Steve into a seat, that much he knew, but he could at least get him propped up in an effort to ease his breathing.
A soft grunt left Steve’s lips as he twisted his head to the side and watched as Danny quickly yet quietly moved away from him. He let his aching and bulging eyes scan across the slew of sleeping occupants, all who had come to help and rescue him, before they returned to Danny who had stopped after a slight detour to cover Kono back up as the blanket covering her had slipped down a little. Military planes like the one Joe had managed to arrange were not warm, not temperature regulated or comfortable like commercial ones and Steve knew that Danny, Chin, Kono and Lori had not been on one before therefore they were not used to the empty accommodations. Yet they were all making the best of it, and it was all for him. He swallowed thickly as his dehydration still was not completely cured despite the copious amount of water with the additive of rehydration solution that he had drunk since refusing an intravenous fluid drip, and the guilt surged within him for a lot of things as he had unwillingly put his Ohana at risk by putting them in the position he had and for not being able to bring Jenna’s body home for the sake of her family (if there was any left) but they had a location so an anonymous tip could be given and a team could be assembled if the green light was given by the State department. The sight of Danny coming back towards him pulled him from his thoughts.
Danny had kept sneaking glances at Steve as he gathered what he could to try and alleviate some of Steve’s discomfort so he did not miss the dance of emotions that crossed his face. “Hey there babe.” He did not want his voice to carry around the cargo hold of the plane and wake the others as he neared Steve who gave him a weak smile that was tinged with pain. He had a couple of bottles of water, a packet of wet wipes, and a handful of blankets as he figured he could roll and stack them up enough that it would be adequate enough to prop Steve up on a better angle which he set down beside Steve once he had reached him.
“Danno.” Steve pushed himself up biting down on his bottom lip even as a grunt escaped him. “Wet wipes?” He frowned at the packet of wet wipes even as he reached his hand out towards it.
Quickly rolling and stacking the blankets up to form a right angled stack had Danny pleased with the makeshift prop before he returned his attention to Steve and his outstretched hand. “Yeah, you still have a bit of dirt on you babe.” What Steve really needed was a nice warm shower or even better a bath that he could soak and relax in but all they had were wet wipes until they got back to Hawaii. “Come on, lean back and see if it is enough.” He wrapped one hand around Steve’s shoulder and the other around the nape of his neck before gently guiding him back. “How’s that feel babe?” He asked as he let his hands fall away from Steve as he knew he was hurting.
Steve wiggled diminutively as it was the most comfortable he had been in hours. “Better.” He answered as he knew Danny was waiting for one. “I’m looking forward to a shower and my bed.” The layer of grime of his skin was bothering him even though he had been wiped down in a preliminary assessment of his injuries and he had changed his clothes as Danny had bought him clothes.
A soft chuckle escaped Danny. “We all are babe.” He patted Steve’s knee twice with a feather light touch although he had resigned himself to bedding down on Steve’s couch as Steve needed someone to stay close even if he did not agree with such an assessment. “Now you need to have some more water because I don’t need a medical professional to tell me that you are still dehydrated.” He picked up one of the bottles and uncapped it before pressing it into Steve’s hand and wrapping his fingers around it making sure he had a solid hold on the bottle.
A sly albeit shy smile tugged at Steve’s lips before he took a few small sips of water wetting the inside of his mouth and momentarily easing the pain and scratchiness of his throat.
Danny had no hesitation as he pulled out one of the first of many wet wipes to be used in cleaning the dirt off of Steve and began to diligently dab at his face. “Don’t... Oh geez you are worse than Grace.” Steve’s screwed up face and small dodging tactics reminded him of Grace when she was a lot younger and went through her ‘I don’t want to wash’ phase which led to a lot of chasing, screaming and tears. “Hold still.” It was said with a grumble as he continued to dab at the skin of Steve’s face wiping away the streaks of dirt without applying too much pressure.
“Gracie?” Steve’s rasp had lessened with the few mouthfuls of water he had already had although his tired brain was struggling to make the connection as to why Danny was comparing him to Gracie as he tried and failed to turn his face away as Danny took hold of his chin to keep him steady. “She okay?”
“Of course she is. I told her I was going to get her crazy Uncle Steve after he got a little misguided in the jungle. And do you know what her response was, huh, do you? She told me that Uncle Steve is a SEAL and can’t get lost in the jungle because of how they are trained for all sea, air and land but she was happy that I was going to see you.” Danny did not miss the grin on Steve’s face even as he continued to wipe the dirt from Steve’s skin moving down to his neck. “You’ve corrupted my daughter with your Army attitude Steven.”
“Navy Danny, Navy!” Steve corrected as had become habit before he squirmed as Danny touched a particularly sensitive spot on the side of his neck. “And that’s my girl.” He grinned at Gracie’s attitude.
Danny rolled his eyes even though a fond smile made its way onto his lips at Steve’s ‘that’s my girl’. “Hold still.” Danny reminded Steve while he made a conscious effort to lighten his touch as wiping the dirt away revealed more of the vivid colouring of the thick bruise around Steve’s neck. He purposefully avoided asking any questions but he knew that a rope or something alike had caused the vivid bruising that he could see, and he knew that because of his experience as a homicide detective. “Stop making that face and drink some more water.” He dropped the disgustingly dirty and no longer wet wipe down before he pulled out a new one half expecting a protest from Steve about him not making a face but nothing was forthcoming instead Steve dutifully sipped from his open water bottle. “The face you are making right now reminds me of monkey and one of her phases she went through.” He told Steve as he figured it was a way to keep Steve’s mind focused in the moment while he gently continued to dab at the damaged skin on his neck which was undoubtedly painful.
A hiss left Steve unbidden as he raised his arm up to bring the bottle to his lips and the muscles in his arm spasmed painfully. “Spasm.” He said through gritted teeth as the concern was clear to see in Danny’s eyes as he had stopped wiping at his neck and leaned back. It took a few seconds more before the spasm eased to a more manageable level. “What phase did Gracie go through?” He asked as the distraction was welcome and they both needed it.
Danny knew what Steve was doing and he was happy to indulge the oversized (and momentarily battered) goof as he set about getting more of the dirt off. “When monkey was three she went through a phase of hating to be washed. It certainly was not a fun phase although it did have its moments of cuteness like when I would wipe her face and she would scrunch up her face or give me a look of betrayal for not letting her keep the jam or crumbs around her mouth.” He paused as he exchanged wipes then began to wipe Steve’s arms. “And at bath time, after we had caught her mind you, she would scream like a banshee until it was over and then be all sweet smelling like strawberries and cuddly.” Cuddly baby Grace always made Danny feel gooey and nostalgic.
“Gracie would never scream like a banshee.” Steve defended blindly before he finished off the bottle of water with his thirst quenched for the time being.
An indignant snort left Danny at Steve’s blind defence of Grace however endearing it was as he reminded himself that before Grace Steve never really had been around children for any significant length of time. “Not now but she certainly could when she was a toddler and definitely during her ‘I hate washing’ phase babe.” He scrunched the dirtied wipe up in his hand as he had cleaned up Steve’s face, neck, arms and hands as best as he could without a decent stream of hot water and lots of foaming antibacterial soap. “When you feel better I will bring Grace over for the day.”
Steve smiled as he thoroughly enjoyed having the two Williams’ over at his house however the smile dimmed as he looked down at himself as the realisation that it would be a while before he would be healed enough for Gracie to see him set in.
The sound of rustling had Steve and Danny looking towards where everyone was grouped just in time to see Kono pushing the blanket off and herself up.
Danny pursed his lips for a few seconds before he turned back to Steve knowing Kono would make her way over. “You can get some sleep if you want. I am not going anywhere babe.” The man looked exhausted and even though he was concussed they could wake him up regularly to make sure he was alright.
“I’m okay.” The mention of sleep had Steve tensing as he was not ready for the nightmares that he was sure would come nor did he want an audience for the inevitable.
It was the answer that Danny was expecting despite his hope for a different one. “Alright.” He gathered all of the used wipes and stuffed them into the empty packet before he moved so that he was sitting beside Steve and was pressed up against his side to maintain some physical content as the touch starved man needed it. He suspected there was more to Steve’s refusal to sleep and he certainly had his suspicions but he was not going to call him out on it in the moment. He caught Kono’s eyes as she came back from the bathroom and he waved her over as he could see her anxiousness which he was sure mirrored his own and he could not blame her given their overgrown trouble magnet sitting beside him.
“Hey bosses.” Kono greeted quietly as she sunk down to the floor in front of them letting her eyes wander over them and not missing the subtle nod from Danny that told her what she needed to know which was that Steve would be okay eventually. “You’re looking rather comfortable there boss.” She reached her hand out and loosely squeezed his sock covered ankle as Danny had put a pair of his own socks on him once they got him on the plane and Joe and the medic were done looking over him. An amused smile showed on her face as she looked at the pair of socks that Steve was wearing as they were navy blue with animated and very cute penguins on them, and an overtired giggle left her lips as Steve wiggled his toes as she let her thumb sweep back and forth over the jut of his ankle bone.
Steve hummed softly and shortly letting his eyelids flutter for a few moments before he forced them to stay open as he looked between Danny and Kono.
‘Someone’s tired.’ Danny mouthed to Kono.
“How are you doing Kono?” Steve asked as he had been meaning to catch up with her but they had all been busy yet they had a few more hours to go so it seemed like an ideal use of the time.
Kono’s thumb froze in its ministrations on Steve’s ankle at the simple question as it was anything but instead it felt entirely too complicated. A small unhappy grunt from Steve had her fondly rolling her eyes even as she resumed the ministrations of her thumb on his ankle bone causing him to wiggle his penguin covered toes. “I am just glad you are alright... And if Danny has not already said it or even if he has I am going to say it. You are not allowed to do this again, at least not without us.” She really was relieved that things had turned out the way they had as there had been a lot of time in between getting the notification that Steve was in trouble and actually finding him which had led to a lot of terrifying thoughts that none of them dared to verbalise.
“Woah, hold it right there!” Danny interrupted waggling his finger at Kono with a disapproving look aimed at her. “Don’t go giving him any ideas! There is no next time!” Sometimes he was not sure who was the worse influence as he saw the matching amused smiles on Kono and Steve’s faces.
“Don’t worry Danno... I am not looking for a repeat any time soon.” Steve assured Danny as he reached out and tapped his leg in an effort to comfort him as he knew he was stressed which he had caused.
Danny caught Steve’s hand in his briefly with a small squeeze. “That is nice to hear babe.” He knew Steve well enough to know it was a placation even if Steve did not recognise that it was one because there would always be a new driving force that would more than likely lead to a similar situation albeit without the torture element (hopefully).
Kono shook her head. “Just for the record I would have vehemently labelled this little trip a very bad idea.” She wanted that on the record. “But on the bright side I get to tick North Korea off a list it was never on.”
Danny groaned loudly and let his head tip back against the crate. “Bad influences. The both of you.”
Steve huffed ignoring the flare of pain that it caused before he pinned Kono with a look and pressed his foot against her knee. “You didn’t answer me... I may be mildly concussed but I know you didn’t.” And he might have pouted just a little bit.
“Mildly concussed?” Kono arched an eyebrow as she was pretty sure his concussion was more moderate than mild however she could see the stubborn set of his jaw which meant he was not going to let her get away with not giving him an answer. She bought her free hand up and ran her fingers through her hair, tugging at the fine knots as she went in a lame attempt at buying herself a bit more time. The last thing she wanted to do was create more stress or give either Steve and Danny anything else to worry about but they were both perceptive and knew her well enough. “I’m glad to be back.” She assured them of that as it had felt like a part of her was missing when she was suspended and undercover. “But I guess I didn’t realise the lingering stain of the damage that I caused, that was done, that Fryer created.” She let her eyes flick to where Chin was still sleeping before looking back at Steve and Danny. “It was stupid to think it would all go away once it was over.” She waved her hand dismissively knowing she had said too much. “I’m getting there.”
“You know you can talk to us any time doll.” Danny’s paternal instincts were in overdrive but he resisted the urge to pull Kono in for a hug.
Steve nodded his head despite the headache he had. “Yeah and we will help however we can.” He silently cursed himself for not noticing before that she was struggling but his frazzled brain recognised that her reintegration into the team would not have been easy especially with the addition of their Governor appointed babysitter Lori among other things.
“I know, thanks.” Kono did know as she looked between both men giving them a languid and tired smile. “I do really... It’s just something I have to work through.”
The plane shook causing Steve to grunt and tense as it rattled his bones.
“Steve.” Danny reached for him.
“Boss.” Kono overlapped Danny and they shared a look as Steve paled further in a matter of seconds which increased their concern as Steve had been pale before.
A shake of the head and a sharp intake of breath was Steve’s reply as the shaking, the turbulence, got worse which made him tense further and the pain increase at a dizzying rate.
Damn pilot and weather, Danny thought as he and Kono shared another look seeing it had roused Chin while the SEALS slept on. He laid his hand on Steve’s arm while he wrapped his other arm across his shoulders in an effort to brace him. “You’re alright, just breathe, babe.” He gritted his teeth as the turbulence was rattling his own bones and he was not the one who had been tortured ruthlessly.
Steve leaned into Danny as he swallowed thickly and fell into the familiar comforting routine of combat breathing as it had worked plenty of times before.
It took a few minutes longer for the plane to level out and Steve relaxed the smallest amount just as Chin made his way over to join them.
Chin glanced around as he settled next to Kono not missing how her hand was rested on Steve’s ankle with her thumb making circles or how Danny was holding Steve who looked far paler now then when they had found him and boarded the plane. “How do they sleep through that?” He figured it was better asking that then how Steve was feeling as it was not a question he responded to well plus it was obvious he was far from okay considering the vivid bruising, the concise signs of pain, and the haunted look in his eyes.
A hint of amusement showed on Steve’s face as he finally begun to ease back onto the stack of rolled up blankets. “You spend long enough on any sort of military transport and you learn to sleep when you can anywhere you can.” It was obtuse but it was the truth, and often one never knew when the next opportunity for sleep would arise if you and your team were on rotation.
Chin grinned accepting Steve’s answer and understanding the unspoken. “Fair enough.” He nodded his head as he ran his hand over his face.
Danny smiled as he began to knead his fingertips into the nape of Steve’s neck again. “You know I think you are all caught up on everything you have missed babe.” He grinned stealing a look at Chin and Kono. “We all got to meet Frank Bama who might I add is just about as crazy as you are and whoever gave that man a pilot’s license and a helicopter should be checked for everyone’s sanity.” He waved his hand about holding up one finger then put up a second. “Kono got to spend time in Frank Bama’s place of residence with several chickens that were temporarily displaced from Tangerine which I am sure she thoroughly enjoyed.” He wiggled the two fingers he had held up then added a third. “We got a free trip to North Korea thanks to this animal.” He shrugged and raised a fourth finger albeit hesitantly. “And Chin has a gorgeous bride to be waiting for him with a wedding to be planned.” He finished his rough recap with a flourish of his hand.
Steve laughed at Danny’s recap however it quickly turned into a cough which had him groaning as he wrapped his arm across his torso protectively as he could feel his ribs grating and the pain flaring through his abused abdomen. “Aww come on Danno, we know you love Frank Bama!” He was a little sad that he had missed Danny meeting Frank Bama as he was sure it was a sight to behold.
“No. No. Nope.” Danny shook his head vehemently denying any love or fondness as Steve claimed. “Clinically insane.”
Kono laughed at Danny’s denial but she sobered quickly as she realised how different the outcome could have been. If the outcome had been any different it would have broken them all and a shudder ran through her spine making her quake.
Steve pressed his sock covered foot against Kono’s knee again as he had not missed the visceral change in her mood.
Kono looked up as Steve’s penguin covered toes pressed against her denim covered knee and she met his eyes seeing the silent question in them. She nodded her head once and gave him a soft smile as she squeezed his ankle silently conveying she was in the present. “Got to say I do love the socks boss.”
Steve grinned wiggling his toes as he finally took a decent look at the socks Danny had rolled onto his feet while helping him get changed into the spare set of clothes (a pair of old loose jeans and a soft oversized grey t-shirt) once he had been treated and cleaned as best as he could be. “Penguins Danno?” He asked with a grin as he was quite fond of Danny and his variety of patterned and printed socks.
A snicker left Danny’s lips. “Took you long enough to notice.” He squeezed the back of Steve’s neck not missing the way he wiggled his toes and silently he could not help but make the comparison between a cat getting its head rubbed and purring or a dog getting a belly rub and wagging its tail with Steve. “They kind of suit you babe.”
“Thank you.” Steve said with affection lacing his tone before he looked from Danny to Kono to Chin and he cleared his throat even though it did little to ease his abused vocal chords. “What you did, what you risked, what you left, thank you does not even come close to covering it.” He paused and swallowed thickly ignoring the pain it caused. “Thank you, all of you.” It still had not completely sunk in but what he did know was how lucky he was.
“We’re Ohana.” Chin said simply like it explained everything and it did.
“Yeah boss, and it wasn’t like we had other plans.” Kono smiled with a soft shrug of her shoulders. “A little off the record trip to North Korea isn’t a bad way to spend a work day or three.”
“What did I tell you babe? Huh? You can’t get rid of us.” Danny assured Steve feeling his quivering muscles beneath his hand.
There was so much to unpack for Steve but the one thing that he did not need to think about was those surrounding him and how lucky he was to have them in his life as there were very few that would do what they had done.
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