Chapter Text
= y/n or my POV =
I was already on my last streak of college, and I was already in the middle of my OJT.
I have also been juggling with my part time job in order to aide my family in more support, especially this time around.
Since I barely have time for myself, it has been a while since I had a break of my own, let alone watch the livestreams of those boys.
I want to know what they are up to right now.
It has been a while since I last checked on the boys that got me through summer of 2023.
It has been a tough journey,
A lot of ups and downs,
A lot of lost paths,
A lot of grief and uncertainty,
It was more than enough to make me give up.
But after seeing these boys on live, it lifted my mood up, cheered me up, and helped me get back to where I’m supposed to go.
[in Korean] “Hello everyone, this is PLAVE.”
PLAVE
A boy group consisting of five members namely: Nam Yejun, Han Noah, Do Eunho, Chae Bonggu, and Yu Hamin. These boys have certainly made my 2023 better. If it weren’t for them, who knows what I would be doing right now, if I would be still in that exact headspace, it was really a big pill to take. A big jump to overcome.
Their livestreams are always entertaining to me. For the first few times of watching them, I was honestly not really digging their concept that much. But as I watched them more and more, my interest progressed, and finally it came to the point I was anticipating their live every now and then.
But of course, it got cut off when I started working. I got busier. Life got busier.
Since it has been a while, I checked up on their Youtube channel and found out there is a livestream in an hour. As soon as I saw the time, I clocked out and tried to hurry back to my place. Once I arrived, I tuned in on my laptop, and freshened up while I’m listening to their intro song.
[in Korean] “No-ha! How have you been?”
A familiar voice rang in my ears.
Ah.
It's Noah…
Everything felt overwhelming coming back to their livestreams after how many months. A lot has happened to the boys – their voices got deeper, their smiles got brighter, and with the growth of fans, their inside jokes have increased and so are their English-speaking skills. With their massive success, also came along with a lot of milestones to celebrate.
They indeed have done a lot while I was busy with everything.
It honestly felt like I was watching a whole new different boy band.
While they started bickering about the dance moves, I decided to cook myself some simple dinner. Kimchi fried rice. I placed the leftover kimchi on the table to let it defrost for a little bit, then I proceeded to heat up the pan and reheat my leftover rice.
From time to time, I take in a peek at my laptop to see what the boys are up to right now.
[in Korean] "Ah hyung, you did say that this dance move was supposed to be like this." Hamin bumped his arm to Noah's arm, as to affirm if it was correct.
Oh.
Is this a comeback?
I’ve never seen this choreo before.
[in Korean] “Haminie, the footstep is like this.” He slowly danced the footwork of the choreo to show Hamin how to do it.
And to be honest, I felt a slight shiver down my spine when I heard his voice again. Yes, it sure has been a while, and his voice register got deeper.
He became more mature, yet still the childish man I fell for.
The same man that made me raise my standards.
Fcking hell, just date me already-
[in Korean] “WHY ARE YOU GUYS SPOILING IT AGAIN???” I heard Yejun’s shout through their phone call.
Ah, almost got drowned in my thoughts again. I got snapped back to reality when I heard Yejun’s shout. Clearly this was a spoiler waiting to happen if any member of the dance line was not accompanied by Yejun, or probably Yejun’s making it worse.
Noah then proceeded to ‘noslight’ (gaslight) Yejun as to thinking it was Yejun who, once again, spoiled the comeback while the other members were just dancing some random dance moves.
I just head back to the stove to finish up my kimchi fried rice. I added in the leftover kimchi, some gochujang, a splash of water, and some spring onions. After I tossed in the kimchi to coat the rice, I then cracked an egg to cook a sunny side up to be place on top. Once everything is plated, I placed it on the dining table and resumed watching the livestream.
It’s just so amusing how these boys interact with one another. It gives off a homely feeling, like they are brothers all along.
As the livestream progressed after an hour, they’re now playing a horror game, and it seems like Eunho rushed in the set when they started playing the game. It was honestly amazing how Hamin doesn’t really get scared nor jumped anytime a jumpscare pops up. And as usual, Noah would be in a stance to throw fists at someone, and Eunho laughing at the background.
Alas, it was finally time to end the livestream. The boys sang one cover each to wrap up the stream. Finally, they just spent the remaining time talking to PLLIs, thanking us for the support.
I used to send a small amount of my spare money as donations to the boys. However, I only used to only send with emojis. But this time around, I wanted to make it special. I wanted to thank them for helping me come this far, especially the one who struck with me, Han Noah-
{PLAVE, you guys have been my inspiration for striving to do better. I want to tell you that congratulations to your milestones! I love you guys very much, please take care of yourselves <3<3<3 Noah oppa, saranghae}
* * * * * * * * * *
Weeks have passed by since my comeback in watching PLAVE, and I've been doing well again. I guess their energy does some magic to me huh. Though I'm still on and off on watching them, more so when they announced that they are having a tour this time. I only knew about it very late (as usual), so I wasn't able to know if my country was included or not. I also haven't seen much English post about it, so I assumed that they are only doing it around South Korea.
But here I am, still wishing it would include my country too.
If ever . . .
hopefully
But it’s still a wishful thinking to get to meet him in person, much so that they announced he won’t be participating in some of the shows due to him being sick this time.
[cling-clang]
Ah, the bell at the door rang.
A customer has arrived.
I fixed myself at the back counter, fixed my apron alongside fixing my thoughts, took a deep breath and smiled. And turned around to greet the customer at the counter.
“Hello sir, may I take your order?”
For a moment, the customer didn’t talk. His hair was covered with a black beanie, wore a black face mask, and a pretty put together outfit in gray and black.
I was skeptical at first if I should even entertain this guest or not. But as they said, ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’, more so I shouldn’t say that this man is “dangerous” just because he’s dressed in a gloomy tone of colors. However, I stood with my guard up.
Anxiously waited for his order
‘What if he’s dangerous?’
‘What if he’s hiding from someone?’
what the hell is going on. . .
Just as I broke a sweat, the man finally pointed a drink from the menu at the counter, faced me again and signaled me ‘one’ with his pointer finger.
“Ah, one iced Americano sir?”
He nodded back as a reply.
“Alright sir, your total is . . .”
As he handed me his payment, I presented him his receipt and asked him to take a seat first while waiting. He politely nodded back and went to the dining area to find his seat.
Wasn’t much of a talker huh?
To a personal level, I related to him. I couldn’t talk much because of my voice, being so soft toned and low volume, most of the times being ‘masculine sounding’. I tried my hardest to sound like most girls my age: soothing, cute, friendly, welcoming, all the positive traits…
I couldn’t hold back my thoughts and just let out a sigh.
A sigh of defeat and despair.
I didn’t know how long I was taking, sulking in the mindless thoughts, when one of my co-workers came to my side, “You’re sighing again.”
“Huh? No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah you did.” she replied fast
“Girl, you need to spill it. You’ve been down lately, what’s gotten into you? Come on, tell me.” She instigated further while I was grinding the coffee beans.
“No, it’s…it’s nothing.” I shook her off and smiled, and proceeded to pack the ground coffee beans on the portafilter.
“Girl I know you. I know how well you mask things to the point it becomes obvious.” She crossed her arms and leaned her back towards the counter and got close to me, almost like an older sister consoling her younger sibling.
I let out another sigh as I started the espresso machine, “It’s just that, my favorite boy in that group…”
“Huh?”
“You know, the group that I told you, PLAVE…”
“Yeah? What about it?”
"[sighs] Well, I'm kind of disappointed that I wouldn't be able to meet him. I mean, it's kind of a wishful thinking that I would actually meet him. Like, in person, in real life. They're on tour right now and I doubt our country is even included in the list." I let out a sigh.
“More so when they announced the boy that I liked was on a break due to his sickness. But then again, I’m still happy they’re taking a time off to take care of themselves.” I kind of drooped a little after I spilled my thoughts.
And a moment of silence followed.
After a while, it got slightly awkward so I turned to look at her, and I saw her confused, at the same time trying to be understanding.
“Girl” she rubbed one of her temples, “I thought it was something crucial or an emergency.” She looked pissed, at the same time relieved. And I left out a small chuckle, she looked at me again.
“But I’m glad they’re also taking the time to take care of themselves…unlike someone.” Her stare at me could have pierced me through by how directly she’s reprimanding me with just her look alone.
“I-I know! It’s just that it’s been busy and I needed extra income.” I replied back.
“Yeah, I know. But next time, I hope you’ll tell me sooner what is happening to you or what are you feeling right now. You got me worried for some 'fictional' boy of yours.” Did she really need to stab me at that?
“Y-yeah. . .”
And she finally shook off of me as she went to attend to another customer at the counter. Just when we finished talking, the espresso has finally poured through the filter. I prepared the cup and wrote the initials for Iced Americano with ‘<3<3<3’ to finish it off, filled it with ice, and poured the espresso and water afterwards.
I honestly have a habit of putting three emojis on anything, small notes or chats to friends. It's kind of my branding at this point.
As I placed the lid over, I grabbed a straw and placed it on top of the lid. With a tissue as the final preparation, I went over to the pick-up counter.
“Sir, your order is ready.”
As he heard his order is ready for pick-up, he stood up from his seat and went towards my counter.
“Here sir, your Americano.”
He just nodded back again.
He won’t speak a ‘thank you’, won’t he?
After I serve him his coffee, he grabbed the cup and looked at the writing.
And for some reason, he stopped. . .
He stopped walking towards the door.
And I felt fight or flight when he started walking back towards me.
A lot of thoughts came circling back,
Oh no. Did I not take his order right?
Did he want some sugar?
Was I mistaken?
Was he pointing at a different drink?
“Sir-”
Before I could even speak, he suddenly grabbed my wrist, pulled his face mask and leaned forward.
Everything happened so fast that I was too stunned to even recover from the shock,
I wasn’t able to shook him off
I wasn’t able to shook my hand away
I was . . . frozen. . .
He leaned towards my right cheek and whispered,
[“I’m doing well, thank you.”]
Eh?
[“Don’t worry, our worlds have finally collided.”]
He let go of my wrist, leaned back, and gave me a big smile.
As soon as he finally walked out of the café, it slowly started registering to me what has happened.
[“Don’t worry, our worlds have finally collided.”]
The very low, musky voice. With a slight raspy voice, I assumed he has colds. But nevertheless, the ringing felt very familiar, at the same time, very odd and unnerving. As if I was not supposed to hear his voice, yet he spoke to me personally, whispered directly to my ear.
All throughout the day, I was never able to figure out who that person was or what was his intentions. Where he came from, and does he know me?
A lot of questions spiraled in my thoughts as I was making coffee, while cleaning tables and organizing the stock.
[“I’m doing well”]
Well good for you sir, because I’m not.