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“So… you’re a p… piñata…”
“Yes.”
“A… living… breathing piñata…”
“And you’re impulsive.”
In one of the darker alleyways of Eden, two refugees sat in the shadows. One was healing his wounds, while being held at gunpoint by the other.
The fox piñata leaned on the wall, his tail in his lap. He was holding a roll of tape in his mouth as he carefully wrapped the wounds in his tail. He was quick, but gentle in covering up the bullet holes. It did not hurt that much, only stung. His brows were furrowed as his red, matted papier-mâché slowly shook in the slight breeze. Various types of candy were scattered around him, as well as a stapler. He eyed the other person in the alley. His hazel eyes gave off a judging look, that formed into a glare.
The man was still holding his gun, and it was still aimed at the animal, but it was slightly lower. His hair was messy and his trench coat was littered in various stains. His skin was covered in dirt and muck, but it was not as visible. He was still in a defensive position, but he was just watching the piñata now. His face had a look of confusion and denial as he stared at the creature. They made eye contact, his brown eyes staring straight at him. He slowly put the guns back in his coat as he scowled.
“I’m not impulsive. It was self defense.” He snarled at him. His voice was still shaky, like he was trying to grasp onto the fact that there is the living piñata infront of him.
The fox piñata raised an eyebrow, “Self defense you say? To whom? I didn’t do squat.” He bit off the tape and finished wrapping his tail. “I just ran into you. That gives you no reason to pull a fondant gun on me!” He raised his voice a little.
“Stop overreacting. You’re not even bleeding.” His voice was cold and harsh, like he had no remorse for his actions.
“Oh, I’m overreacting? Says the person who shot somepiñata who didn’t even harm them.”
“Keep that attitude and I’ll do it again.”
The piñata softly growed and looked back at his tail, “Besides, that doesn’t mean it hurts.” He was slowly getting more and more fed up with him.
The man eyed him, “You don’t seem to be screaming in pain. You’re acting like gun wounds are a scratch.”
“We’re built to get beat with sticks. We’re kinda supposed to have a high tolerance to pain. You can’t be screaming at a birthday party.” He sighed and rolled his eyes, “Yes, this is more mild than other injuries, but it still hurts.”
He finally put his guns away, “So… for a piñata… getting shot several times is mild?”
“We don’t have flesh, so you’re just making small holes in our cardboard. If you… I don’t know… cut off our tail or something, it would be more painful.” He explained, slowly getting up while using the wall as support. He quickly shook his tail before looking around. He put the stapler and roll of tape in his bandana and bent down to the floor.
The man thought about this as the piñata was picking up the candies scattered around them. He picked up a candy himself. “If I ate this… would you feel it? Would it, like, hurt?”
He looked up, “What? No. Why would it?”
He examined the candy, “Isn’t it a part of you?”
“Sure we create candy, but that doesn’t mean it’s us.” He sighed and snatched the candy from him. “Do you even know what a piñata is?” He said sarcastically as he popped it in his mouth and turned away.
The man glared at him, “I’m not a fan of your attitude.”
“Guess that makes two of us.” He flicked his tail at him and walked off.
“But to answer your question, no.”
The piñata stopped in his tracks and looked back at him, “What? You haven’t?”
“Well, I’ve heard of them, but I thought they were objects.” He poked the piñata’s tail, causing him to pull the tail back and frown.
“Well, we’re not. We’re organisms just like you. I happen to be a Pretztail.” He brushed his papier-mâché where he touched it.
“A… pretzel?”
“PretzTAIL. It’s like… what did you humans call it… a fox piñata.” He waved his hand dismissively.
The man crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, “More like a fox prickata—”
“I’m sorry, what did you say? I didn’t quite catch that.” He stepped closer, eyeing the person in front of him.
“I called you a prick!” He stepped closer, raising his voice.
The piñata chuckled, slowly losing his composure, “I’m trying to have a conversation with you and you’re spitting insults!”
“Maybe you deserve the insults!”
“You’re the one who pointed a gun at me!” The two were basically screaming at each other. “You’re the toothpick in this situation!”
He laughed, “At least I actually have the guts to swear, you fu-”
“YOU THERE!”
Both of them froze in their tracks as they felt a light shine on them. They turned their heads to see a bright light. After some adjusting, a figure shone from behind the light. Its armor was a pale white as it held a gun in one hand and the light source in the other. It seemed to be wearing some sort of white headset as he continued to yell at the refugees. They both knew who this was.
“An Eden soldier.” The man’s face turned into a scowl.
“A human.” The Pretztail trembled a tad bit.
“YOU ARE IN A RESTRICTED AREA! RAISE YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND APPROACH ME SLOWLY!” The person demanded, still aiming the gun at them.
The piñata was frozen in his tracks as he turned to the person beside him. He seemed to be opening his trench coat, growling under his breath. The Pretztail looked at him, then back at the guard. Suddenly, the man spoke.
“Run.” His voice became deeper and more cold.
The piñata tilted his head, his breath shaky. “What?”
“RUN!”
The man pulled out both of his guns and started rapid firing.
BRIGIGNIGNGIGNGI!!
The Pretztail stumbled and dropped on all fours. He ran the opposite direction as the clicking of the guns rang behind him. The two were both firing at each other; he was lucky to not get caught in the crossfire. He tripped over his feet, but prevailed.
As the person fired both of his tommy guns, he did shoot the officer down, but nothing fatal. It was just a shoulder shot. He wasn’t trying to harm them, just scare them away. His opinion quickly changed as the sound of someone calling backup was heard. Suddenly, a group of Eden’s goons showed up. The man growled and shot at them too. Thuds of bodies were heard in between shots as his weapons started clicking. He reached for one more magazine only to find his pockets empty. He looked back at the soldiers to see them regain their composure. He swore under his breath and fled to catch up with the piñata.
The Pretztail ran for quite a bit before hearing footsteps behind him. He turned his head to see the man running beside him, shaking his empty tommy gun.
“Fuck fuck!” He exclaimed, his voice getting drowned out in the bullets. He shoved the guns back in his coat and looked back at the guards, who were chasing after them, still firing. He turned to the piñata, “Any ideas?”
“Alright, trigger-happy, my turn.” He grabbed the other’s wrist and turned a sharp corner during a bullet hell, giving them a window to hide.
He yanked him down behind a hidden dumpster as he placed a paw on his mouth. They both rested their backs on the dumpster, the cold metal pressed against them. They both panted with the piñata’s ears twitched to pick up noise. He could hear the reloading of guns, the chatter of people, and the stomping of feet. Sound of people rushing past the two and fading away was also prominent. From what he could hear, the coast was clear for now. He looked back at the person he was hiding with.
The man shoved the paw off his mouth and glared, “Your hand tastes like paper.”
“You smell like blood. Now quiet!” He quickly hushed him as they both listened closer.
“He was right here! Keep looking!” The guard’s voice could be heard through the alleyways as a handful of voices were also heard, giving the two the idea of a whole search party after them. The voice echoed, giving the implication that they were rather far away.
They both gasped and whispered at the same time, “They’re after me.”
The piñata’s voice was shaky while the man’s seemed irritated. They both stared at each other.
“You? Why would they be after you?” They asked each other, exchanging glares.
“Well, I’m a living piñata, and from your reaction to me, this area must not have a lot of parties.” He explained.
“And? Why would they want a pile of paper?!” The man snapped back.
“Because I’m new to them! They’ll probably send me to lab and like, I don’t know, dissect me and figure out how I can create candy on a whim—”
He was cut off, “Wait, you can do what now?”
“Doesn’t matter.” The fox piñata tried to change the subject, “Why would they be after some hobo on the streets?”
“I’m not ‘some hobo on the streets’. I don’t know if you saw the news lately, but I’m the person who shot up the board of directors.” He pointed to himself and got closer to him. He sounded rather proud of what he did, and like he was trying to intimidate the piñata.
“So you are impulsive.”
“I had a reason! Alright? Clearly you’ve been brainwashed by Eden—!”
“I heard something over here!” The soldier’s voices cut through their arguing. They were louder, making the two freeze up.
The piñata huffed, “We shouldn’t be fighting right now. They’re after both of us. Let's just work together for now and we can argue later.” He held out his paw for a handshake.
The man hesitated and shook the paw, his grip tightened as he stared at the animal. “Ra… Ramon.” He said coldly.
“Paulie. Now let’s get out of here.” He pulled Ramon further back in the alleyway, away from the guards.
As the two navigated the labyrinth of the back streets, Ramon struggled to keep up with his temporality partner. Paulie was on all fours, so the man proceeded to grab his tail. The piñata seemed to be paying close attention to where they went and where they were going, like he was making a map of some sorts. The voices were now soft mumbles, with the only sound being prominent was the sound of their feet. They stopped at a corner to catch their breath.
“Wow…” Ramon began, “You’re fast.”
Paulie scoffed, “Of course I’m fast. This is nothing new for me.” He peeked around the corner, “Come on!” He grabbed his hand and pulled.
“What do you mean that this is ‘nothing new’?” He asked, keeping up with the piñata. He gained enough energy to run beside him now.
“I’ve done this before. Come on, use that brain of yours.” He retorted back at him, picking up the pace.
Ramon scowled, “If you’re gonna keep acting like this, I might just go my own way.”
“Yeah? And get caught by the wranglers?” He chuckled, “Be my guest.”
He huffed, “You act like you're so smart! I bet you’re actually lost and leading me to my—”
“Here.”
Paulie dragged Ramon out of the alleyways into the bright street. He was immediately hit with the flashing lights of Megacity 1. The neon pinks and purples were a major contrast to the grays and dark blues of the alley. He shielded his eyes as Paulie lowered his ears to block out some of the light. They were between two massive buildings, and in front of them lay a road. Cars zoomed past them, not paying attention to the creatures on the sidewalk. It was slightly chilly, and a small breeze could be felt.
He chuckled to himself and turned to the man. “I am so smart. I saved your papier-mâché back there, didn’t I?” He smirked at Ramon, pointing behind them.
Ramon growled at him, “Okay, maybe you got lucky once, but it won’t happen again.”
The piñata rolled his eyes, “Oh really? Why do you think that?”
“Because I know Eden. I’ve been here my entire life. You’ll get lost one day and you’re gonna become bits and pieces of cardboard.” He looked down and pointed at Paulie.
Paulie glared and got up on his hind legs to face Ramon eye to eye. “Someone ought to teach you some manners.” He poked him in the chest, “I got you out of there and you thank me by wishing me a bashing? You could’ve just gone ‘thank you’ and stormed off!”
“I have enough manners, thank you.” He snarled at the piñata, who looked unamused by his threats. “You–”
“You’re just upset because I was right. Isn’t it?” He crossed his arms and grinned at Ramon.
Ramon did not respond, giving Paulie a cold stare. He finally spoke, looking away, “Maybe…”
“Ha! I knew it! You’re jelly because an ‘object’ saved a man—”
“I’m not a man! I’m an alien.” Ramon snarled, bearing his teeth slightly.
Paulie stared at him, trying to process the information. He then started chuckling, “You’re an alien? What extra terrestrial about you? Your massive muzzle?”
“It’s a nose—!”
“That’s a nose?!” The Pretztail bursted out laughing, which only infuriated Ramon more.
The alien’s eyes narrowed, “Yeah, fuck you too.”
That did not stop the piñata from joking, “I bet everyone needs umbrellas when you sneeze—”
Paulie was quickly hushed up by a strong grip over his mouth. Ramon brought him closer and growled, “It’s because of this.” He shook off his sleeve and showed him his hand. Paulie’s eyes widened at the sight of the floating limb.
He was pushed back by Ramon as he rubbed his muzzle, “Wow. Okay. You didn’t have to grab me, you know.”
“I just wanted to get the point across.” He rolled his sleeve back down. “You were being an ass.”
Paulie pinched the bridge of his nose and grumbled under his breath, “Yeah, of course I’m the sour. I’m not even gonna argue. It’s like talking to a wall.”
“What was that?”
“I said you’re hard to have a civil conversation with! You’re always throwing insults, threats, and bullets!” The piñata exclaimed.
Ramon snarled, “It’s not my fault that you’re so easy to bully!”
“No, I’m not! You’re the—”
A bundle of footsteps were heard in the alleyway behind them. They both jumped and turned to the dark hallway. The light from the left side was slowly getting brighter and brighter as various chatter was heard. They looked at each other as Ramon grabbed Paulie’s paw.
“Now it’s time for me to save your skin.” He smirked.
“Haha. Just go already!” Paulie turned to the alleyway one more time before being dragged by Ramon in the other direction.
They two ran through the city streets, away from the Eden soldiers. Ramon was more focused on the path as Paulie glanced at the passing signs and bright colors. He was watching the blur of pink and purple move past him, trying to focus on something. Massive neon lights were not new for him, but in this amount was.
The two slowed down to a stop. Ramon was checking where they were and if they were followed. Paulie caught focus on a group of TVs at a shop. They were all playing the same channel, a news channel, but something caught the piñata’s eye. The news host looked familiar. He had an uncanny look similar to the person he was following.
Ramon glanced over at Paulie. He looked at what he was staring at, frowned, and tugged on his arm.
“Hey.” He began, “Don’t look at those. They rot your brain.”
The piñata snapped out of his trance as he turned to the alien. “Pfft. I know. Why do you think I’m not a television piñata?”
Ramon tilted his head, “You don’t… watch television?”
“I prefer going to events in piñata, thank you. It’s more memorable that way.”
He let out a small “Huh.” before turning back to the road and picking up the pace.
They ran in silence now, the only things being heard were the passing of cars and the noise on the massive screens. Paulie was still thinking about what he saw. Ramon stopped him from getting the best look at the person on the screen, but that vague memory was still on his mind. The alien stopped looking at him after that, but from the glances Paulie got, he had a small look of anxiety on his face.
Eventually, Ramon took a sharp turn into a building. He pulled Paulie inside and shut the door, locking it.
Paulie stumbled forward and turned around. He shot a glare at him, “You could’ve been nicer.” He said, regaining his balance.
“Yeah, but I don’t like you.” Ramon smirked to himself as he jammed a loose nail in the doorknob.
“At least we could agree on something.” He crossed his arms and looked around, “So, where are we now?”
The alien lightly hit the door and faced the piñata, “My current hideout. You better not tell anyone about this.”
“I don’t snitch, I ditch. Besides, I’m also on the run. Why would I give you away?”
“You never know. Now up the stairs.” Ramon demanded as he walked to a stairway leading up. Paulie followed behind, looking at the hideout.
The building looked abandoned and worn down. The paint on the walls was peeling and all the windows were boarded. The stairs creaked under pressure and the railing was unstable. He was surprised that this place has not crumbled down under its own weight yet. It was about the size of a medium apartment complex and had five floors in total. The carpet on the floor was basically gone, only little bits remaining. The elevator was out of order and Paulie could find several doors lying around. Graffiti could be seen everywhere as the two walked up the stairs.
This whole thing made the piñata nervous, but he’s hidden in much worse spots before. Hiding away in a rickety, old house gave him a sense of déjà vu. Ramon glanced over to see him eyeing the environment, taking each step up the stairs with caution. He huffed in response and looked ahead.
“Hurry up.”
Paulie frowned and glared at the alien, “Hey, I would love to if this building wasn’t in its last life.”
Another huff was heard as Ramon did not bother to turn around this time. “You will be as well if you don’t keep up.”
The piñata was not phased by his threat. He rolled his eyes and went slightly slower.
The two finally made it to the roof. As the door opened, Paulie was immediately hit by a breeze. Ramon scoffed and ran his hand through his hair. He took a seat at the edge of the roof, his feet dangling over the edge. The piñata walked next to him, leaning on the wall instead of sitting. They just stared at the city, admiring the beauty of it at night. Ramon looked somber while Paulie’s eyes sparkled like the lights. Various city noises were heard in the distance, but besides that, it was oddly quiet up on the roof.
“Wow.” Paulie finally spoke, “We don’t have things like these where I’m from.”
Ramon kept staring off into the distance, “Maybe that’s for the better.”
More silence passed between them, the air having a hint of gloom in it. The lights still glittered, but there was a contrast between them and the roof. Ramon let out a sigh and reached into his pocket. The piñata turned his head to now see him holding a pack of cigarettes. He tilted his head as Ramon pulled out a lighter.
“What’s that?” He asked, eyeing the stick.
The alien stared at Paulie, “A… cigar? You have to know what these are.” He put it in his mouth.
“Well, I’m not too familiar with them. Are they like a type of candy?”
Ramon hesitated, “Not really.” He lit the cigarette and inhaled. He exhaled and looked at the piñata. “You light the blunt, inhale and exhale.”
Paulie coughed and waved the air around him, “Well, it smells like sour candy. I’m not putting that in my mouth anytime soon.”
He shrugged, “Suit yourself.”
The piñata blinked and looked at him, “Did you just respect my opinion and not send me a death threat? Wow.” Paulie snickered to himself, “That’s a first.”
“Oh, you want me to pull my gun out now?”’
He raised his hands up in surrenderance, “I’m just saying, we’re one step closer to having a normal conversation.” He paused, “But I’m staying over here. I’m not in the mood to lose my lungs.”
Ramon let out a small chuckle, “Yeah yeah.”
They both paused, looking at the landscape. It was dark and cold on the rooftop, the only light coming from the city below them. A soft glow and heat illuminated from Ramon’s burnt cigarette as Paulie turned his head.
“So, Ramon, was it? You wanna try having a normal conversation now? Well, as normal as a conversation between a piñata and an alien can get.” He snickered.
The alien hesitated, “Sure.” He began, “You get three questions and I get three questions. I’m still not very trusting of you.”
“Alright. Deal.” Paulie crossed his arms, “Ask away, trigger-happy.”
Ramon rolled his eyes, “Okay, stop calling me that.” He exhaled, a puff of smoke coming out of his mouth, “First off, how are you alive? Piñatas are supposed to be objects. Not breathing.”
“No they aren’t. That’s just a ploy we use. If the kids knew we were alive we would have much less sales.” Paulie said casually, looking at his paws.
“That’s… oddly morbid.”
Paulie shrugged, “It really isn’t. Piñata’s feel pain differently. You did shoot me three times and I didn’t cry or anything. I thought I told you this.”
“Yeah but like, isn’t that wrong? Shouldn’t kids know that the piñatas are alive and sentient?”
“You really want to use all three of your questions on something that doesn’t even apply to this place?” He raised an eyebrow.
The alien grumbled and looked away, “Fine. I’ll drop it.” He sent Paulie a small smirk, “For now.”
He rolled his eyes, “Ok, nosy, my turn.”
“How long did it take you to think of that one?”
“Longer than you and your prickatas.” Paulie gave Ramon a sly grin.
Ramon gently nudged the piñata, “Just ask your damn question already.”
“Alright alright.” He took a long think before asking his question, “You’re an alien, right? Are you from outer space or…”
He went silent. His face turned into a slight frown. He took another breath of his cig before answering. “I’m from… another dimension. Dimension X.”
Paulie tilted his head, “Another dimension? That’s new.” He paused and tapped the wall he was leaning on. “I’ve been to another dimension before…” He quietly mumbled.
“You what?” Ramon’s head perked up as he heard the mention of that.
“Did I say that? I meant I wished I did. Never did before. Nope.” Paulie’s ear aimed down as he avoided eye contact. He could feel Ramon’s eyes burning into him. He let out a chuckle as he changed the subject, “Okay next question! Um… how do your limbs work? Or, lack of limbs?”
Ramon eyed the piñata before detaching consciousness from his sleeves. He raised his hands up as the trench coat drooped down. “You mean this?”
“Yeah. That. When your sleeves are attached they have like, elbows and whatnot. How exactly can you do that?” Paulie explained, moving his hands to ease his nerves.
He hesitated. Never really noticed that. It just came naturally for him. “Umm…” He started, “I’m not sure?” He laughed awkwardly as his hands fell to his sides.
“Wow. Insightful.” He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.
“Hey!” Ramon frowned, “Well, how do you create candy or whatever the fuck you said back there?”
Paulie tapped his stomach, “It’s all internal. Food goes in, candy gets created. Even with little to no food, we’re always making candy.” He shrugged. “Don’t think too hard about it.”
The alien paused, “Could I try some?”
“What?”
Ramon realized what he just said and quickly turned away, using his hand to cover his blush. “Uhh… nothing!” He forced a laugh before getting tapped on the shoulder. He turned his head to see Paulie handing him a small candy bar. It was not too big or extravagant, just the size of a crayon. He glanced at the candy, then back at the piñata. “What’s this?”
Paulie laughed, “It’s candy! Please tell me you have candy around here.” He gently grabbed Ramon’s hand, opened it, and placed the bar in his palm. “Try it. You did ask.”
He took the candy and closely examined it. From what he could tell, it seemed to be a regular chocolate bar. “Will this kill me?”
“Pfft! No! Do I look like a Sour to you?”
“Alright. I will trust you this time.” He slowly unwrapped the candy and popped it in his mouth. Paulie tried to read his expression, but as he chewed his face didn’t change.
The piñata rubbed the back of his head, “Sorry if it tastes bland. I don’t share my candy often… or go to parties…” He whispered the last part under his breath.
“Wow.” Ramon finally spoke as he swallowed, “That was surprisingly not terrible.”
“Okay. Thanks. Really appreciate the feedback.” He playfully looked away.
“Alright, I’ll give you feedback. It’s way better than the shit Eden pumps out.” He explained, shoving the wrapper in his pocket.
Paulie glanced at him, “You say that everything Eden makes is sour. That’s not a high bar to get over.”
“Well, for someone I don’t like, that’s an achievement.” He smirked and put his hands behind his head.
“I’m flattered. Really, I am.”
Ramon slightly laughed, “I’m kidding. You’re tolerable… when you’re not talking.”
He lightly nudged him on the shoulder, “Oh just stop. You’re making me blush.” He said, rolling his eyes.
The two shared a quick laugh, before settling down and looking back at the city view. The noises had died down and the faint sound of chirping was heard. Paulie decided to sit on top of the rail like Ramon, his tail being a form of support if he did slip.
He looked back at the alien, “We still have one more question to ask each other.”
Ramon looked back at him, “I thought I did? The candy one.”
“That?” The piñata waved his paw, “I wouldn’t consider that a question… more of a craving.”
“Hmm… well in that case…” He hesitated to think of something to ask.
As Paulie waited, he gently swung his legs. He zoned out for a second before immediately getting jumped by his acquaintance’s question.
“Where’s your dick at?”
“Excuse me?” The fox piñata gave Ramon a horrified look.
Ramon just shrugged, “Hey, it’s a reasonable question. You’re butt-ass naked and there seems to be nothing there.”
Paulie closed his legs and slightly blushed, but his red papier-mâché covered it. “W-well… I-” He could not find a response. This was such an out of left field thing to ask someone. “Okay, I’m not naked first of all. I have a bandana. Second, why do you care? Huh?”
“You didn’t set any rules on what I could or couldn’t ask.” He slightly smirked, “How do piñatas reproduce? Are they manufactured?”
“We hatch from eggs.” Ramon was about to say something before getting cut off, “They arrive at our door.”
The alien held in a laugh, “You seriously believe in storks?”
“Storkos, actually! And she does exist!” He crossed his arms and glared at him.
He kept snickering to himself, wiping away a tear.
Paulie grumbled and shot him a look, “What about you? Where’s yours?”
Ramon stopped laughing and looked away, “Uhhh…”
“Better question, do aliens even have that?”
He scratched his cheek and inhaled through his teeth, “Not exactly?”
“Oh! I see how it is. You harass me for hatching from an egg while you do that same thing?” He scoffed and looked away.
“Hey! I don't hatch from eggs! I can’t even reproduce!” He groaned, “Look, it was a stupid question. Just… forget about it.”
The piñata sighed, “Fair enough.”
As the night went on, Paulie let out a soft yawn. He hopped off the edge back onto the roof and waved to Ramon. “It’s late.” He began walking off, “I’m gonna hit the hay.”
“Alright. Good night.” Ramon paused before turning to Paulie one more time, “Paulie, one more thing…”
Paulie stopped and turned his head, “Hmm?”
He hesitated, “If piñatas don’t, y’know, bang, then how exactly does the egg come down? Is it a catalog or something?”
Paulie snickered, “No. We dance.”
“Dance?”
“Yeah. Every piñata has their own Romance Dance. We don’t need the parts because it’s all about the heart.” He shrugged and walked off, “Perhaps… I could show you someday.”
The alien softly smiled, “Yeah… someday…” He suddenly caught on with what he said, “Wait, what does that mean?”
Before he could further elaborate, Paulie headed to bed while Ramon stayed up on the rooftop. His cigarette was almost gone and the moon was right above him. He sighed and looked back at the landscape of Eden. His mind was lost in thought as the night passed.