Chapter Text
Alicent’s walk through the castle halls was interrupted by the sound of a crying child. She moved towards the sound, ever assuming that it was one of her children that was suffering. Instead she found Jacaerys huddled away in a rarely seen corner of the keep.
“Are you alright?” she asked, not stopping her motherly instinct from taking over.
Jacaerys looked up, flinching slightly when he recognized her. “I’m fine,” he mumbled, wiping at his wet cheeks.
“I’m sure you are, how about we go find your mother?”
Jacaerys shook his head.
“Alright,” Alicent said. She was unwilling to make an incident by forcing Jacaerys to obey and was too tired to try to figure out the correct combination of encouragement and bribes that would get him to agree. Worse she wasn’t willing to just leave him alone, that felt like the very depths of indecency.
“My friend said I might be a bastard. I don’t want mom to hurt him.”
“Why would she do that?”
“She said she’d make sure no one ever dishonors our family like that. But Billy didn’t mean it like that! We were just talking about how his mom said he had his dad’s face!
And then I said that I didn’t have my dad’s face, so he said maybe that meant I was a bastard!” Jacaerys’s voice grew loud and desperate as he explained and he broke into more crying as soon as he was done.
“It’s ok,” Alicent soothed, raising a hand to stroke his brown hair. “We don’t have to tell your mother, we can just keep this between us.”
“Really?” Jacaerys asked with the kind of childish smile that couldn’t be refused.
“Of course.”
“Can I ask you something and you won’t tell anyone?”
“Alright.” Alicent couldn’t bring herself to say no, despite knowing it was a dangerous thing to agree to.
“Am I a bastard?”
Alicent opened her mouth without knowing what answer she could possibly give. The truth was far too dangerous when it could so easily get back to Rhaenyra. To lie to a child though, didn’t feel any better. She eventually offered a safe nothing answer. “Only the gods will ever know for sure. Some might think you are, but you get to decide what you think.”
“Do you think I’m a bastard?”
Alicent sighed and allowed herself some more honesty. “Everyone who sees you next to your father thinks it. Everyone who sees you next to Ser Harwin Strong thinks it.”
Jacaerys threw his head into his hands and started crying again. Alicent cursed herself for her loose tongue and then decided to just go for it. “That is the reality you live in. When enough people think something like this it becomes true. But that does not need to be the end of your story. You get to decide what to make of this reality.”
“I do?” Jacaerys lowered his hands to reveal his disheveled face. “How?”
“Well that’s somewhat complicated…” Alicent said, wishing that Rhaenyra had explained it to him so she didn’t have to. “There are a lot of options. Your mother would be willing to silence anyone who spoke what they saw, with enough violence, truth could be done away with and your place might never be questioned.”
“I don’t want to hurt Billy!” Jacaeryce shook his head, tears threatening again.
“Alright, well you could maybe disappear enough that none would care to notice it, though that might be difficult as third in line for the throne. You might also pursue a different life, one where you need not face your inheritance, as a member of the faith or the maesters or the King’s Guard.”
“The King’s Guard?” Jacaerys' voice filled with the slight reverence towards the grand knights he saw in the keep.
“Yes, they forsake all claim to their inheritance when they take their vows, your deeds not your blood would matter after that.”
Jacaerys smiled at that, lost in a boyish dream of himself as the bravest knight in the realm. His mind wandered to the other mentioned possibility eventually. “I don’t know about the faith, will you teach me?”
“Perhaps some other time,” Alicent said, as much as she wanted to jump on that opportunity she didn’t want the fight with Rhaenyra it would surely bring. “But tonight I think you need to go wash up and then see your mother.”
“Ok,” Jacaerys agreed and stood up from his spot. “Thanks for talking to me,” he said as he started to walk down the hall.
“Of course, my dear,” Alicent said, the affectionate words leaving her before she could consider them. She stood and watched Jacaerys walk off before she returned to her own important tasks.
------
The first time Rhaenyra saw a head of blond hair by the dragon pit she pointed it out to her guard, had the prince sent back to the keep and then rode Syrax as she’d planned. The second time, barely two weeks later, she couldn’t bring herself to do the same again.
“Does your mother know you’re here, Aemond?” she called to the rock he was hiding behind.
Aemond rose from behind the rock and gave a slight shake of his head. He was defiant, face showing almost hidden anger, but Rhaenyra caught the hint of sadness and disappointment under it as well.
She sighed, recognizing the way Alicent would hide her feelings so well that only Rhaenyra could find them. “Would you like to meet her?” she asked, gesturing to her approaching dragon.
“Syrax already has a rider,” Aemond said.
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t meet her. It might be good practice for when you have a dragon of your own.”
Aemond approached. Hesitantly for a few steps but then rushing forward like the child he was. Syrax gave him a confused look, but made no obvious sign of annoyance.
"Dragons are smart creatures," Rhaenyra said as she stroked Syrax's neck. "They tend to know what we're thinking as soon as we do."
Aemond stared up at Syrax, listening as best he could with the awe inspiring distraction in front of him.
"As such we have to keep control of our fear. Even more so when trying to claim a dragon." Syrax leaned her head down to sniff at Aemond, blowing his hair back with gusts of hot air. Aemond giggled at the sensation, and reached a hand up that Syrax let touch her nose.
After a moment Syrax opened her mouth slowly, her teeth moving closer to Aemond's hand. Aemond yanked his hand back and looked to Rhaenyra for some sign that Syrax wouldn't eat him. Rhaenyra laughed, seeing Aemond's fear and Syrax's smugness and impatience.
"Alright, I think Syrax wants to get in the air now."
"Ok," Aemond said, giving an excessively cute pout.
"You know maybe while we're flying you could help the dragon keepers pick out a snack for her," Rhaenyra offered.
"Really!" Aemond was far too excited about picking a live animal to be eaten.
"Of course, you'll need to be prepared to feed your dragon when the time comes."
When Rhaenyra returned from the skies she found Aemond holding a rope tied to a plump goat.
"Is this one good?" He asked as soon as Rhaenyra dismounted.
"Looks delicious!" Rhaenyra said, ignoring the annoyed dragon keepers to help Aemond tie the animal to a post. She led Aemond to a safe distance and then gave Syrax permission to burn and eat her snack.
Aemond's excited smile didn't fade when Syrax began to devour the burnt flesh, her snout catching red drops of blood that she threw around in her enthusiasm. Rhaenyra chuckled. She could hardly blame the queen's parenting when she had had a similar reaction at his age.
She and Aemond rode back to the keep in Rhaenyra's carriage. Aemond spent the trip asking question after question about dragons which Rhaenyra happily answered.
"Do you think you could take me flying sometime?" He asked as they passed through the gate.
"Well…" it wasn't an entirely ridiculous thought. She'd taken her other two children flying. She'd only just stopped with Jace because he had his own dragon he could ride. The saddle she'd had made for that very purpose would surely fit Aemond.
Unfortunately none of that mattered in the face of the boy's mother. Regardless of how safe it would be, the queen would not trust any of her children to Rhaenyra, certainly not around a dragon.
"I don't think your mom would like that," Rhaenyra finally said.
Aemond nodded, thinking it over. "I'll tell her how helpful you were today, and then maybe she'd let me."
The carriage's door was opened and Aemond jumped out and rushed off.
"Maybe don't tell her about me taking you to a deadly dragon," Rhaenyra muttered far too late.
------
The red keep only had a small barely used sept in it. Alicent much preferred the great sept, but she would not risk Rhaenyra's wrath at taking her children out of the red keep. Instead after Jacaerys asked about the gods for a third time she took him and Lucerys to the keep's small sept.
It was expectedly empty, the corners dusty and the altars only sparsely adorned. Jace and Luke ran around its edges when they entered while Criston and Ser Harold stood by the door.
While the boys ran about, Alicent produced a candle from the bag she'd brought and lit it from the room's only lamp. She knelt down in front of the candle and said her own silent prayers.
She prayed for patience to deal with the two excited children, for her own children, their safety and their happiness. She prayed that Rhaenyra would not get mad at her if she found out, and when that seemed like far too much for even the gods to grant, she prayed that Rhaenyra would never find out.
As she prayed she heard Jace's larger feet stop running and then walk over to her before he knelt down. "Is this how to pray?" he asked.
"It can be, but there are lots of different ways to pray." Alicent opened her eyes to see Jace kneeling with his hands clasped together like hers were.
"Who do I pray to?" Jace asked.
"Well that depends on what you're praying for."
"What are you praying for?" Jace had not considered that that might be a personal question.
"I'm praying for lots of different things," Alicent answered to give herself time and avoid lying. "I'm praying for my children, for them to be safe and to learn a lot from their teachers today. Also I'm praying for Ser Criston and his safety in the Turney next month."
Luke finally saw fit to join them at that. "So is that why he always wins?" he asked, standing next to Jace.
Alicent smiled and glanced back at Criston. "His own skill likely has something to do with that, but I like to think my prayers help keep him safe."
"So if I pray hard enough maybe my dad will win the joust?"
"That will be up to the Warrior, but maybe." Alicent didn't let herself wonder if he meant Leanor or Harwin.
"Warrior, please make sure that Ser Leanor Valeryon, my father wins the joust next month," Luke said, loud but not quite yelling.
"Yeah," Jace agreed. "But maybe Ser Criston could have third place."
Alicent hid a laugh and looked to see Criston doing the same.
"Now that we decided that, what else do the gods do?" Jace asked. "Can they make me a kingsguard?"
"Not directly," Alicent admitted. Jace deflated at the news. “Would you like to hear some stories about what they have done?” Alicent asked to gain back his interest, pulling her copy of the Seven Pointed Star from the bag.
Jace looked at the somewhat worn book and then shrugged. “Ok,” he said.
“Are their dragons in this story?” Luke asked.
“No, but there’s a great warrior king named Hugor.” That got the boys’ interest and they followed her to the stone pew she sat down on. Jace crowded in on her side and Luke immediately climbed into her lap. He was as heavy as expected for a six year old. She’d never had a kid that heavy sit on her. Aemond had learned to sit on his own by the time he was six, and even Daeron at only five had stopped.
Alicent hid her wince at the weight and then let Luke get settled, tugging on her shoulder to adjust himself. “Alright,” she said, with an almost genuine smile and then opened her Seven Pointed Star to one of the stories that might be more exciting to children.
She started to read, holding the book so that Jace and Luke could look at the words, though Luke spent more time staring off at the ceiling. Jace sat very seriously, his hands folded in his lap, listening intently.
Alicent paused at the end of the chapter, looking at Luke and Jace, both looked up expectantly at her. She turned the page and started the next chapter. About halfway through the second chapter Luke’s head drooped onto her shoulder and a page later his breathing evened out into sleep. Alicent finished the chapter in a softer voice and then closed the book.
“I think it’s time to get Luke to bed,” she said to Jace.
Jace looked over at his sleeping brother and nodded. “Will you read us more sometime?” he asked.
“Of course,” Alicent said, propelled by the shock of his seeming enthusiasm before she could think through the risks. She picked up Luke and walked him over to Ser Harold who took him with a smile. It had been a while since he’d smiled at her, usually his face held nothing but well hidden pity or disappointment.
Criston had an odd look on his face, his features tight and controlled, holding in a scowl or glare. Alicent said her farewells to Jace and let Ser Harold lead the two princelings towards their rooms. Criston stayed put and silent.
“Do you have something to say?” Alicent asked as she returned to the altar to blow out the candle.
“I would not presume to know what’s best, nor expect that you explain all of your decisions, your grace,” Criston answered.
“Septons can’t inherit,” Alicent said, pretending that that was the only reason for what she’d done.
Criston nodded and relaxed, finally understanding what he had witnessed.
“King’s Guards cannot inherit either. If either of the princelings were to express interest in that path the only impediment would be their skill.”
Criston’s face twitched as he held in a comment about the sacred value of the white cloaks. However if he had been allowed to hold his own cloak, it clearly wasn’t that sacred. “I will continue their training accordingly, your grace.”
“Thank you, Ser Criston,” Alicent said, and then headed out of the sept.
------
“She let you do what!” Alicent snapped, unable to control the outburst at Aemond.
Aemond’s eyes dropped down to his boots. “She was there the whole time and Syrax didn’t get upset,” he protested. He was holding back tears, unused to being the one Alicent was upset with.
Alicent sighed and reached her hands out to settle soothingly on Aemond’s shoulders. “I’m not mad at you,” she said, hopefully telling the truth. “You just need to be careful. The princess can be reckless and might be distracted from keeping you safe.” Alicent wished she could believe it was only carelessness she had to worry about.
Aemond nodded obediently but did nothing to hide his pout. “Maybe you could help her remember to be careful? She said that if you thought it was ok, maybe she could take me flying.”
Aemond looked hopeful. He rarely asked her for anything, he was always the dutiful son in taking what he was given and making do. Alicent couldn’t bear to deny him outright. “I’ll speak to the princess about it,” she said, avoiding disappointing her son but filling herself with dread at that conversation.
Aemond smiled as wide as Alicent had ever seen. “Thanks mother.”