Chapter Text
Hyunjin is terrified...
he's scared.. aghast .
His mind is running non-stop while his eyes quickly pass over the comments attacking him...
Oh God, he is accused of a bullying scandal!...
A bullying scandal!...
He threw his phone, which hit the wall before falling to the ground with a loud bang that interrupted the silence of the place...
Hyunjin does not understand why him?!...
Why would they accuse him of such a terrible thing?!..
Did he seem to them to be such a bad person?!!.
Did he hurt someone without knowing it, so he is taking revenge on him now..
Hyunjin doesn’t even know where he made a mistake and why..
All he knows is that he has now been on hiatus for two weeks..
There is speculation that he will leave the band..
Oh God..
He will leave his family, He will leave his brothers and his best friends...
Sighs choked in his throat as he hid his face between his legs, pulling his hair strands violently, Maybe he would calm down the panic and pain that clouds his mind and occupies his heart...
He can't breathe, He can't focus on anything around his vision, which is starting to disappear.
He felt as if he was drowning, trying to take a breath, to allow air and oxygen to enter his lungs, but all he felt was absolute hell and incomparable pain due to the dry air burning his lungs.
and for a moment he wondered... is this death?! .
Among his unconscious fog, he realized with horror that he was going through a panic attack...
“Hyunjin... can you hear me?!..”
Hyunjin gasped with his eyes open, trying to identify the owner of the voice, but his blurry eyes, his ears that were still ringing, and his rapid, gasping breaths prevented him from knowing who it was the one calling him.
In the middle of his fog, he felt someone holding his trembling body to his chest while softly patting him on the head, whispering in his calm voice (it's Chan Hyung!):
“Listen to my heartbeat, Jin, and try to focus on it.. It's okay, I'm here, It's okay...”
Hyunjin remained for several seconds (maybe minutes or hours, he doesn't know) resting on Chan's chest while quietly listening to his heartbeat.
Finally, his panicked breathing calmed down and the ringing in his ears disappeared, and despite the absolute shame (and the pain pulsating in his head and lungs) he felt at ease.
After several more seconds, Hyunjin straightened up and sat next to Chan before looking into his eyes, which were still looking at him calmly and lovingly (a typical Chan does not get angry or think about anything...
he just gives him the love, comfort, and space he needs).
: “Chan hyung.. I'm... sor-ry!”
His voice was completely dry and cracked but he didn't care..
He just wanted to apologize and apologize to his leader and older brother for all the trouble he had caused (even if he didn't know why?!)
A faint smile appeared on Chan's lips, and something quickly passed through his eyes that he did not recognize
(it was guilt, and Hyunjin did not know why Chan felt guilty?!)
: “It's okay, Jin, everything will be fine.. I promise...”
He continued, laughing as he pecked Hyunjin's cheeks:
"It's a hyung promise ... everything will be fine...”
Suddenly, all the tension, terror, fear, and panic that Hyunjin had felt over the past two weeks disappeared and was replaced by comfort and confidence.
One look at Chan's warm brown eyes made him forget all his fears.
As he rested his head on Chan's shoulder and let all the tension fall off his shoulders he let himself fall asleep.
Chan promised him..
Chan never breaks his promises!
------
Hyunjin woke up terrified with sweat dripping from his forehead. He sat up, gently rubbed his forehead, and extended his hand holding the cup of water that he made sure to put next to his bed every day.
He sighed softly as he returned the empty cup to the table after quenching his thirst..
Why do memories of his hiatus period haunt him now that nearly three years have passed?!
He won't lie, Period of cessation of activities of his hiatus was painful and frightening for him in every way.
But he overcame it. His members were with him all the way.
The stay supported him.
His leader stood at his back and fought all the people who tried to bring him down within the company.
So why does he remember that bad period no
w that he's over it?!
He sighed again before kicking off the covers and putting on his cute pink slippers with bunny ears
(it reminded him of Minho hyung, but he won't admit it to the latter because he doesn't want to eat tissues again)
He quietly sneaked out of his room, making sure not to make any sound so as not to wake up any of the sleeping members of 3Racha
(if they were in the house at all).
He walked towards the kitchen with lazy steps as he took his phone out of his pajama pocket and looked at the time
4:43 AM.
Well, of course the 3Racha are all home now (maybe except for Chan, that idiot doesn't usually pay attention to time if he's working in his studio).
Out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed a shadow sitting next to the open window
(who, for God’s sake, opens the window in this cold weather?),
and before he had a heart attack and screamed in horror, he recognized the shape of the body sitting there..
His breathing calmed down as he patted his chest to calm the frightened beating of his heart, and before he could make a joke that alerted Chan that he was here, he stopped,
because there was next to the open window. Chan sat there with a calm expression while the faint moonlight illuminated his features...
and tears slipped quietly from Chan's eyes!..
And Hyunjin wondered...
Why did Chan's normally warm brown eyes look so empty?!
--------
Fuck...
that was the first thing that came to Chan's mind as soon as he opened his eyes..
He groaned as he fidgeted on his bed trying to force his body to wake up, maybe it was a bad idea to exhaust himself to death yesterday.
(It was the best idea his mind ever came up with...
because if he didn't exhaust himself, he would think,
and if he thought, he wouldn't think he would be fine)
(He's not fine either way)
He covered his face with his arm while sighing softly, trying to remove the fog surrounding his mind and the blatant pain behind his tired eyes...
He is lucky that they are in a rest period after the Rock-star album promotions ended, and he can go back to sleep now and make up for his exhaustion and fatigue from yesterday:
“Hyung!...”
Felix shouted loudly as he entered the room:
“Jisung is si-!”
He stopped suddenly when he realized that he had surprised Chan, who had not yet fully woken up, and lowered his voice, saying:
“Jisung is sick!”
“Oh!”
Chan whispered softly before his eyes widened as he realized the matter and kicked off his covers before following Felix towards his first child's room.
A faint smile appeared on his lips before it turned into a loud laugh when his gaze fell on Han's body wrapped in a blanket. Wait.. Two.. Three!
While someone had wrapped his head with a bright red scarf that contrasted the color of the blue wool hat that was placed on his head...
In front of Han sat Minho, who was holding a plate of hot soup while Changbin brought another blanket to wrap Jisung in..
As soon as Han heard Chan laughing, he turned to him and sent a distress call, shouting:
“Save me!!..”
Chan’s laughter got louder before he approached him and put his hand on his forehead:
“Your temperature is high, Han!”
: “It’s 38.5.. "
This was Lee know 's calm voice before he turned to Hyunjin who was sitting next to them:
“Have Seungmin and Jeongin come yet?”
Hyunjin shook his head as he wring out the wet towel and placed it on Han's forehead again.
Chan furrowed his brow as he took the bowl of soup from Minho, switching places with him while urging Han to eat.
“Where are Seungmin and Jeongin?”
It was Felix who answered him:
“They went to the pharmacy to refill the medicine..”
Chan shook his head in agreement before motioning for the others to leave the room:
“He just needs some rest...don't crowd him in the room...”
Leeknow nodded before heading towards the kitchen (maybe he'll be cooking something)
and Changbin and Felix quickly followed him, who looked at Han, With worried looks..
Chan turned with a calm smile to Hyunjin, who did not move next to him:
“Jennie?!...”
: “I will stay with you, Hyung...”
Chan raised his hand, rubbing his forehead feeling that there were millions of drums beating loudly inside his head
(he would never admit that he was tired)
: “Jennie, I don’t want you to get sick too!”
Jisung shook his head in agreement, even though he was not listening to any of their conversation amid the fog in his head and the feeling of wreckage he felt. His body whispered in a weak and weak voice:
“Chan hyung is right.. He is always right.. Jennie, did you see that picture yesterday!...”
Han's voice dropped at the end as he babbled about things they didn't understand.
Chan smiled softly as he patted Jisung's head before resting his head on the pillow before looking at Hyunjin:
"It's okay, Hyun. I'll take good care of him.."
Hyunjin bit his lip before looking away from Chan's eyes and digging his nails into his palm, saying softly,
"I'm not just worried about Jisung.."
Chan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before tilting his head questioningly as he wet the towel and placed it on Han's forehead again:
"What do you mean?!.."
Hyunjin fidgeted a little before sighing and straightening up, saying,
“Nothing, hyung... I’ll go help Minho hyung in the kitchen..”
There was silence for a few seconds, except for Jisung’s indistinct whispers as Hyunjin collected the things scattered on the floor and quietly left the room.
(Chan doesn't know why he felt his heart drop!).
-------------
It turns out that Jisung's fever was not that serious because it went down immediately..
So here they are all sitting at the dining table while Minho puts the food on the table and Jeongin helps him...
Jisung sits next to Changbin While he rested his head on his shoulders and a small blanket wrapped around his body (this was Chan's condition for the younger to leave the room)...
Felix and Seungmin were talking about something that Chan did not focus much on, as his entire focus was on Hyunjin, who seemed lost in the window...
Chan felt a tug in his chest as he watched Hyunjin's cloudy eyes as they ate the food..
Is he okay?..
Is something going on with him?
He was worried, and he felt guilty..
Did he become so immersed in himself over the past period and his problems that he did not realize that there was something wrong with Hyunjin??..
Chan’s anxiety escalated when he found that Hyunjin had straightened up, claiming that he had finished eating while he had not even eaten half of his plate..
(He knew he was a hypocrite because he didn't eat even a quarter of his plate, But it's Hyunjin!...)
He announced that he finished his food before joining Hyunjin in the bathroom.
He leaned against the door while his eyes watched Hyunjin who was washing his hand and face before he said gently:
“Hyunjin.. Is there something you would like to tell me?”
Hyunjin froze for a moment while cursing under his breath...
Why was Chan so attentive?!
Not even a whole day had passed and Chan discovered that there was something wrong with him...
Hyunjin tried to regulate his racing heart:
“No... there’s nothing hyung...”
He turned while drying his hand and asked his question nervously, which he tried to hide:
“And you, hyung.. are you okay?!..”
Hyunjin watched Chan’s features as he asked his question, trying to find out anything about his feelings, but Chan only smiled before patting him on the shoulder.
He said with his amazing smile:
“Are you worried about your hyung, Jennie~~ Don’t worry, I’m fine.”
Hyunjin’s brow furrowed before he immediately hid his annoyance so that Chan wouldn’t notice
(Chan noticed )
“Are you going to stand there long?!..”
It was Seungmin's calm voice as he looked at them, saying,
""Everyone has finished eating and is waiting for the movie to start..."
"Oh, my dear Minye~~.."
Chan threw his body on the younger's body while caressing his cheek, saying slyly:
“I knew you loved me and wouldn't do anything without me~”
Seungmin rolled his eyes but did not object before heading towards the living room while Hyunjin followed them with a calm smile on his lips while ignoring the worry clouding his heart...
Everything will be fine..
Everyone settled in the living room in front of the TV, fighting for a place to hold them all...
Minho was sitting on the sofa while Jisung rested his head on his thighs...
I.n was sitting next to Changbin on the floor, sharing a black blanket, while Felix was sitting a little away from them, motioning to the other three members to sit down Next to him:
“The movie has started, hyung~~~”
It was nice and calm.
The sight of his members sitting quietly on the couch and not thinking about anything bad in this world made the beating pain in Chan’s heart subside a little.
His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his phone announcing that a message had been sent.
He sighed heavily before taking it out and looking at the message.
His features froze for a moment as he read the message over and over again...
Hell will never leave him, right?!...
He quickly tried to control his features
(the panic that struck his body)
so that the other members would not notice before his voice became clear:
“There is something I must do in the company... Start the movie without me...”
Changbin and Minho shared a worried look before Changbin stood up and said,
“I will come with you...”
“No!!..”
Chan immediately shouted before closing his lips.
(Damn, does he want them to find out about him...)
( Idiot, idiot, idiot..)
“It's a meeting with the administration... I promise it's nothing serious...”
Chan lied, hoping they would believe him, Even though he knew that his argument was weak...
“...Okay...”
Well, they believed him..
(Maybe they didn’t care)
Chan sighed before picking up his bag and his laptop before bidding them farewell:
“I might go to the studio after the meeting, so don’t worry.”
and closed the door behind him.
On the sound of the television for several seconds while silence covered everyone before I.n broke the silence:
“He won’t be back today, right?”
Changbin sighs as he plays with his hair:
“I don’t know, Innie.. He promised he would never stay late at the studio again.. but you know Chan hyung!”
“Chan hyung is an idiot!”
Changbin smiled as his eyes locked onto Han’s tense eyes before he sighed softly in a whisper:
"Don't worry"
Minho felt his heart sinking in his chest as his eyes remained glued to the door Chan had just exited from..
Why was Chan holding a screaming plea for help in his eyes?