Work Text:
He barely remembers anything these days. That’s just how it’s been since…god, he doesn’t even remember that. He doesn’t remember when his mind stopped remembering.
Sometimes he can barely register the nurses who come to check on him every day in his room at the care home he’s been in for…years, he assumes anyway. He never remembers their names, their uniforms and the bland yellow walks melting into blurs of colour and noise that just stay with him and sometimes around him from sun up to sun down.
Sometimes the sounds are loud, some soft like wind chimes tinkling in the breeze or something soft and cheery playing from the radio like they did the first time they came to see him. Most times he’s left alone and can just lie there feeling so confused and useless because what do you say to a person who forgets everything?
And it wasn’t always like this. Back then he was just a boy with parents and friends and a life where nothing bad ever happened to him. A happy childhood, if not completely innocent. He knew some rough parts about life but nothing that could break him until…well…now. But back then, he had it all. Friends, love, school and everything in between. Now, he has no one except for the occasional doctor or nurse or new staff member. No family, no lover, nothing that would keep him here.
They give him medicine every day to make him feel better and make him sleep but it doesn't really help. Sometimes the nightmares come and he wakes up screaming or whimpering and sometimes he just doesn't want to get out of bed anymore and his heart hurts as he feels the familiar pain in his chest whenever he tries to move or sit up and when he looks around the room, he knows no one is there. Just the stale smell of old books and the flowery smell of the sheets he lies in night after night.
It all just...blends together into a fog until the memories have long faded and all that remains are the sensations: his skin on the mattress beneath him, the hardwood of the chair in front of him and the sharp edge of the table across the room. What he sees just fades away and the blank feeling of nothingness takes its place for the rest of the day.
Today, however, today is different.
Today, he hears voices, echoing and singing but fading away again before he can focus on them properly. Then he feels the touch of hands running over his hair and cheeks. He opens his eyes, but finds nothing but a crowded room of people, the music and smokey haze choking him as his thumping head swings left and right. It's disorientating, but suddenly he spots a blur standing in front of him, a mop of ink black surrounding a blank face that stands out from the crowd. The moment it realizes Nick is looking at it, it takes off in an instant.
After a split second where he's frozen in place, he suddenly runs after it, moving faster than any normal person could ever hope to be able to run and follows the blur through the halls and towards a staircase, dodging every corner and stumbling over himself to catch up. Everything looks the same after a while and his head's hurting, but he feels like he can't stop.
Eventually, it's pointless to keep trying for even though he's trying to keep up with the blur, he gets slower and slower and finally stumbles, hitting his knees hard on the floor and trying to hold back tears from the pain. "Stop! Stop!" He yells out, "Don't leave me here!"
He falls back against the wall, clutching his head in both hands as he stares at the spot where he last saw the figure go, the hallway a gaping abyss to him now unlike before. He can't hear it anymore, but still...it felt real. He could've sworn someone was calling his name.
In a panic, he pushes himself off the ground and sprints down the hallway and into another room where he finally meets the blurred figure that just standing there, watching him before it slowly reaches out its pale hand, so close now he could almost touch him.
Unconsciously, his fingers automatically reach out to meet the other's, their skin brushing each other's as Nick tries to grab a hold of the other's hand and feels a chill run through him like a snowball’s been thrown directly into his chest.
He shivers as the touch sends an electric shock up his arm, the hairs standing on end and the muscles spasming in reaction. His breath catches and his chest heaves before the world spins on its axis and makes it hard to keep his eyes open. He stumbles a little in place as it’s happening, his knees shaking before the world finally tilts- but then it stops.
When he finally looks up from where he’s doubled over, the room is still again and the blurred figure is gone. There's nothing in here but a cold aching, pounding, throbbing pain in his chest that hurts so bad it's still hard to breathe
Looking around in desperation, he flinches when he suddenly hears the sound of a door opening and turns back to where the rear of himself was facing as the old doors he’d entered through creaked open and suddenly, a figure steps through the doorway and comes to a stop when it sees him standing there.
Nick's mouth falls open in shock and his throat bobs, a choked sound escaping his lips as he sees black curls and blue eyes that make tears stream down his face as his brain becomes whole again, whimpering. “Char!”
Charlie Spring, young and alive and no longer a distant speak in Nick’s fragile mind, makes a broken sound at Nick’s voice calling him and races forward to wrap his arms around Nick's shaking frame, holding him close and burying his face into his shoulder as he feels the slightly taller man sob against him.
"Shhh...It's okay, you're okay," Charlie whispers, his own voice wobbling and cracking as he pulls back enough to cup Nick's face and bring their foreheads together.
Nick is a mess, crying and trembling and gripping onto Charlie's shirt like he's terrified that if he lets go, Charlie will vanish again.
"You're okay." Charlie says again, his voice sounding steadier this time as Nick just melts and presses his face into the crook of Charlie's neck, breathing him in. It's overwhelming to have the other man's scent fill his lungs again and feel his warmth and just know he's real.
It's so, so much. "I missed you, I missed you, I missed you..." He murmurs over and over like a prayer, like saying the words will somehow fix all the broken parts inside of him and make him whole again.
"I know," Charlie says softly, rubbing his back and kissing jaw softly as the other struggled to put everything into words that he could now think of without getting a headache. "But I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere."
"You left." Nick says, voice broken and raspy from crying. “You left me.”
"I'm sorry." Charlie says, "I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry."
Nick shakes his head and just holds him, "Don’t We don’t say the ‘S’ word. It’s banned. Even now. Just don't go, don't leave me again. Please."
"Never." Charlie breathes, pressing their mouths together in a passionate kiss, full of fire and love. Nick kisses him back with everything he has, clinging to him like his life depends on it.
He knows this isn't real, that he's probably just dreaming and Charlie is gone forever and that soon he'll have to wake up and live without him, but right now, none of that matters.
Right now, Charlie's in his arms, his body pressed against his and their lips slotted together like two pieces of a puzzle finally connecting and fitting together.
He's been lost for so long, drifting aimlessly with no hope of ever finding his way back. But now, Charlie's found him and pulled him back to shore and Nick knows he'll never let him go.
They hold each other, lost in their own little world, and for the first time in a long time, Nick feels content and better, he’s finally alive again. "I love you." He gasps as they pull apart for air, pressing his face against Charlie's and feeling his skin against his.
Charlie sighs like he’s been waiting to hear that the whole time, a smile on his lips as he holds his face back in his hands. "I love you too. I'm never leaving you again."
Thankfully, Nick believes him.