Chapter Text
April
On Monday, April assumed Sterling would choose to ignore her. That she would throw herself into the arms of someone else just to spite her.
Frankly, she couldn’t blame her if she chose such avenues. Whilst she still harboured annoyance at the fact Sterling didn’t get why she couldn’t be out proudly alongside her; she knew Luke was a low jab.
She had thought it would upset her, that was the idea after all, but when Sterling saw them at the lock-in she had stared at April with this look of devastation. It was a gut-wrenching picture that now haunted her memories besides the one of Sterling sobbing on the bench.
But April could never be that person for her. Life was not all rainbows and puppies as the Wesley family seemed to believe. It was boobytraps laced with spikes that would gouge your heart out in the blink of an eye.
So no, she did not let herself pity her. Instead, she boxed Sterling’s hurt up and tucked it away on a shelf never to be looked at.
In a matter of words, Sterling was dead to her.
She had to be.
As April stepped into Spanish class, she took her seat. The hand on the clock spun, and she held her breath as she waited for the twins to arrive.
Blair knew she was gay, and now she had harmed her sister. She didn’t know the extent she would go to in order to avenge her, but she prayed it didn’t include outing.
One minute.
Tick, tick, tick.
April tapped her pencil on the desk as her stomach gurgled with unease.
Their teacher shut the door and took note of everyone there, marking down the two students missing.
Whilst it wasn’t unlike Blair to miss class, she couldn’t remember the last time her twin had a day off sick: not that she was keeping track or anything. It was more that Sterling’s constant presence was so irritating that April would remember if she had a day free of it.
Her brain couldn’t think of a single class she had missed in years. Even when she was sick, she would sit there spreading her germs around like patient zero. It would be ghastly if she weren’t painstakingly cute with a reddened nose and a sick voice.
Guilt wasn’t something she was accustomed to, yet that feeling now began to brew as she stared at her empty seat. April clenched her jaw, straightened her back, and refused to care.
Even if her body chose to disagree with her and left her feeling nauseous, April was still in control of her mind and she would not spare a second for the girl who had a flare for the dramatics if she wouldn’t come to school after a breakup.
The issue was that it wasn’t simply one day of school that Sterling missed.
One turned to two, which then bled into three.
On the fourth day, Blair dared to show her face. She appeared drained and she refused to look at anyone as she grabbed her books and headed to class.
And come the day after that knew that if it was a virus Sterling likely would have returned. On average it took a week to fight off a virus which meant Sterling should have tackled the worst of it by Wednesday.
It left her with the bitter truth that Sterling was avoiding her.
What started as guilt quickly turned to annoyance. Five days of missed education was completely ridiculous over something so small. If April could stand there and pretend that all was well when her life was up in flames, then Sterling Wesley could damn well show up after a breakup.
The anger left her with an odd feeling brimming in her chest, and so April marched to the practice field and caught Blair before she could join her teammates in the locker room.
“Why is your sister acting like this?” April asked. The field was empty, so it didn’t matter that her voice was raised as she seethed. “If she needs to ignore me, fine but I do not see why she is throwing her education into the garbage and setting it alight.”
“I’m sure her record can take a small hit to its attendance. Now if you don’t mind, I was just-”
“A small hit? Five days is not a small hit, Blair. It’s the start of a descent into the sin of sloth. This is how it begins, something small like a week of missed classes and before you know it you’re picking up litter on the side of the street for community service or you’re reduced to a life of scanning shoppers’ items through at Target.”
Blair glared. “What’s wrong at working at Target?”
“The point is that she’s on a slippery slope and whilst yes we broke up, it’s incredibly dramatic to let be the reason for her going to a community college instead of Yale.”
“Your breakup?” Blair taunted with a scoff. “Look, as much as I’m pissed at you and would love to make you feel like the evil villain you are, you’re not the root of all my sister’s suffering. So, for now, you can live. I’m too tired to care about you and if I am I can assure you, you’re not on my sister’s radar. You can go about your life but please do not drag Sterling down any further with this drama of fucking college statistics when she’s had her ass kicked one too many times by the shit fest that is our family. Leave her alone.”
April frowned as she digested each word but before her brain could catch up to stop Blair from leaving, she was gone.
The Wesleys were the epitome of a perfect Christian family. They were all smiles and faultless with not a mark on their record… apart from Sterling's brief dalliance with sexual activity.
Which meant whatever Sterling was facing was likely something insignificant. That family treated every trivial incident like the end of the world because they had nothing to compare it to. Unlike April’s family, and her father who was soon to be released from prison. That was something serious, that was something to miss school over, and yet April knew the importance of education.
With a huff she went to class, taking with her the bitterness of Blair's insinuation that Sterling was unphased by their breakup.
Whilst it should make her feel good, that she wasn’t the root of her suffering, instead it left April feeling insignificant; like background noise or a bug swiped from a windshield.
She had been obsessed with that girl since the age of eight; too long for Sterling to be able to wipe her away from her heart in a matter of days.
“April, I said could you answer the question on the board?”
“Sorry, yes.”
The next week she assumed Sterling would be back because of course she would. However, when she didn’t appear April began to worry.
A week was ridiculous… but two?
Something was off, and she couldn’t put her finger on it. Instead at the end of the day, she collected any assignments in sets so that she could give a spare sheet to Sterling when she appeared the next day.
She didn’t appear the next day.
“Ellen, sorry, I couldn’t help but notice Sterling has been away so I have put together a folder of notes and work for her to catch up on.” Smiling forcedly, April slid it across her desk.
However, the normally perky Ellen seemed off once her name was mentioned. She swallowed and took the folder before forcing a smile of her own. “Well, isn’t that sweet of you? You know it only takes one friend to brighten someone’s week. I’ll see that she gets this.”
“Won’t she be in tomorrow?” April asked.
Ellen paused, clearing her throat before she said, “Sterling is gonna be off for a little while. Family emergency.”
“But Blair is here,” April replied.
“Thank you for bringing this for her, mighty kind of you April.”
It was a dismissal; one April took as she left the office.
Ellen was terminally peppy, and yet that interaction left April feeling as if a void was swallowing her whole. Blair being pissed was to be expected, but this…
Pulling out her phone, she chewed her lip before sending a text.
April S: Are you coming to school this week? I’ve handed a file to Ellen with all the important notes and assignments for you. I took the liberty of colour-coding them based on talking points.
Her message didn’t only go unanswered. It went unread.
The next day she was piling things into her locker when she felt herself being spun around. One of her books clattered to the floor and she stared at a dishevelled Blair with wild eyes and even wilder hair.
“Okay, as much as I didn’t want to ask for the help of the poisoned apple wielding wench, I’m out of options and Sterling hasn’t moved for two weeks and not even those bubble-gum blast drinks are luring her out which is honestly a first because that girl functions on a high sugar diet and-”
“Blair. The point. Find it.”
“Do you know what? Don’t bother,” Blair spat as she turned to leave.
“Wait!” April caught her arm with a tight grasp that she loosened when the girl looked like she was about to impale her. “I’m sorry. That was brash of me. I haven’t been sleeping much this week and it appears to have left me rather combative.”
Blair softened. “Same.”
“You mentioned needing help with something?”
She nodded and wrung her hands around her lacrosse stick. “Sterling won’t listen to anyone but it’s more than that. She’s like… this shell of a person and none of us can get through to her. In the past week, she’s spoken less than ten words to me and all she does is lay there, staring at a wall all day whilst she cries.”
April felt her organs wringing within her. “What happened? Is she okay? What about food and fluids? Is she eating anything? What about sleep? And has she tried-”
“Chill,” Blair instructed. “You’re talking faster than Sterling does when she gets all riled up about a fanfic she’s reading.” She leaned her shoulder against a locker. “And no, she’s not eating much. She rarely sleeps and the doctor said maybe it’s PTSD but it’s too early to tell, and that we should give her time and shit but she-” Blair wiped her eyes which were now leaking tears down her cheeks.
“Something happened,” April realised. “Something serious happened, and it must have happened between the lock-in and last Monday.” She tried to piece it together. What could have gone wrong? Her thoughts traced over all the things that could have possibly occurred in the span of a few days.
“It’s not my place to air out my sister’s dirty laundry, but I’m not above asking for your help. At this point, you can’t make her any worse. If anything, nothing changes but at least I tried.”
April swallowed against the lump in her throat. “On a scale of one to ten, how bad was what she went through?”
Blair debated for a moment before saying, “Like a seven I guess.”
“And on that scale where would you put my father being arrested and me and finding out all that he did?”
She assumed it would be an eight, perhaps a nine. But without debating it Blair replied, “Five. Maybe a six.”
“What is your rating scale if that is a five?”
“Well, it’s not like Sterl fell off a building or was hospitalised for long so it could have been way worse.”
“She was hospitalised?”
Blair seemed to regret spilling that information as she tensed and said, “Will you help me or not?”
Now April had a list of things to do today. She was meant to help her mother with readying the home for her father's return, she needed to get her assignment done in the library and –
“Yes, I’ll help.”
A nod was given in return, and Blair said, “Okay, my parents are out tonight so are you cool to come over after school? I’ll drive you home after.”
“You want me to come over? To your house?”
“Like I said, I’m out of options at this point.”
“Okay,” April agreed hesitantly.
“Oh, and just like… prepare yourself I guess. Sterling’s not herself.”