Chapter Text
'Kohane's hair smells nice today.'
An’s eyes fluttered open, and her gaze dropped down for a better look at her sleeping partner. The two had collapsed on the couch together a little while ago for what they said would be just a few minutes, but it was never really just a few minutes in the end. The biggest lie they were always telling themselves, An thought with a soft laugh to herself, but she didn’t mind it, and she was sure that Kohane didn’t either. If it were serious, they’d both be up and ready to go right on time.
As it was, An could take the time to enjoy Kohane’s peach-scented shampoo, the rise and fall of Kohane’s chest against her own, the head resting against her clavicle. Did Kohane even know that sometimes, instead of snoring, she squeaked in her sleep? It was absolutely the cutest thing. The sunset filtering in through the window dyed her white top a very pretty shade of orange. It made An think of another shirt Kohane had in that color. It looked good on her. Honestly, anything did, so it was more a matter of what Kohane felt comfortable in.
How long had it been since she’d asked Kohane out? She tried to remember in her half-sleepy state. A year ago? Maybe two now? Somewhere in that range, about a week after they’d surpassed RAD WEEKEND together. Akito had told her to finally just spit it out, instead of being terrified they’d go their separate ways now that they’d achieved their goal. (Yeah, she knew the fear was unreasonable, but it was a hard thing to shake.) And then of course, Akito had gone and been a hypocrite, not confessing to Toya for another, what, six months?
Well, that was then, and this was now.
An had moved out a couple of months ago. She still stopped by and saw her parents every day, of course. She helped out at the Weekend Garage, her dad still trained them on a regular basis, and she ate dinner with everyone more often than she didn’t. She wouldn’t have it any other way, but the space to be free when she wanted was really nice. It was refreshing to have time for just herself every now and again.
Of course, An could only stand silence for so long before she got restless or bored, so she had people over often. Haruka had stopped by several times for tea when she wasn’t on tour with More More Jump, and Mizuki had visited once to drop some things off before they went on a shopping trip. She’d had Akito and Toya in her living room on quite a few occasions to go over new tracks together and bounce ideas off one another. There was a different vibe to it in person than there was on a voice call, one they all preferred.
Mostly, though, it was Kohane she invited. Sometimes she would make up a pretense for it, but usually she just wanted to hang out. They could search for some new music together, watch TV, cook something. Kohane did know how to cook, but given that An had spent some time in the kitchen when she’d been helping out her dad, she didn’t mind giving Kohane more tips and tricks. She was a fast learner, too, and she kept bringing over new things for An to try. An made sure to have new things in her fridge for Kohane too, then - she refused to take more than she gave in the relationship. Haruka had warned her about being too competitive with her own partner, there was no contest to be the better girlfriend, but still. Kohane gave her so much, and An wanted to keep up.
Keep up…
She hadn’t quite lost that notion yet - the idea that she was having to race after others, that fear of being left behind. She was getting there one day at a time. She’d honestly thought that surpassing RAD WEEKEND would conquer the fear once and for all, and while it had encouraged her that she and the others could pursue music for a living if that was what they wanted, she still found herself in awe whenever she listened to Kohane’s voice, and on her worst days, she found herself thinking that she paled in comparison. That was never something she’d worried about before Kohane entered her life. She’d toyed with the idea that it might be jealousy for a long time, and then she’d labeled it as anxiety, before finally realizing that so much of it was that she was head over heels in love. She hadn't known then if what she had was enough for Kohane to stay at her side in the long run, and not just as a musician.
Yes, the anxiety side of it still remained, but she sunk into the real answer to that question little by little in moments like these.
She gently rested her hand on Kohane’s head. She didn’t get to see Kohane with her hair down very often. It was just as adorable as it was when it was up in pigtails, and she let herself card her fingers through it. Gently, though. She didn’t want to wake Kohane up just yet. There was still some time before dinner.
Still, she wasn’t sure if she herself wanted to go back to sleep yet. She was a bit drowsy, yes. She could probably nod in and out if she chose, but she found herself wanting to enjoy the moment for a little bit longer instead. The sound of their breaths, the sensation of subtle movements. At one point, Kohane made a small noise in her sleep, huddling in a little more, and An found herself grinning from ear to ear. She still got flustered, sometimes, with just how precious Kohane was. Her partner would smile at her, and An would instantly feel smitten, her face would go red and she'd begin giggling. She found herself wondering how it was that the stars had aligned in just the right way for them to meet, let alone for Kohane to feel the same way that she herself did.
“I heard her sing for the first time, and I just knew it had to be her,” An had said at the table one night to her parents . “I wonder if that was love at first sight. I think it might’ve been.” Her mother had laughed.
“You get it from your dad,” she’d said. Her dad had put his hands up in joking surrender, admitting that he couldn’t and wouldn’t deny it.
She’d known that her parents would never reject her for who she loved. In fact, she was pretty sure her father preferred the fact that she’d fallen for Kohane, as opposed to someone he didn’t really know. He would’ve accepted whoever it was, of course, but he was fond of her partner. If they ever got married someday, he would happily welcome her right into the family.
Hah. She was getting a little bit ahead of herself, wasn’t she? She hadn’t even asked Kohane to move in with her yet, with the key word being ‘yet’. She’d only had the apartment for a short period of time, so she didn’t want to them to make that commitment together only to figure out something was wrong with the place. Plus, when they had time between their music gigs, Kohane was taking some college courses at a campus close to home. The apartment wasn’t that far away from the school, but far away enough that An hesitated to make the offer. She wanted to be completely, one hundred percent sure before she asked.
It was hard to be patient, though. The idea of waking up to see Kohane every morning made her want to bury her face in her hands and kick her legs like a giddy school girl. Would her partner ever stop having that effect on her? She would’ve thought enough time had passed by now, but the feeling hadn’t settled even a little. If anything, she thought it had gotten even more intense with time.
“You really are the best,” she murmured, letting her hand fall still on Kohane’s head. The warmth in her chest bubbled up as she said it, as she meant it with all of her heart. It felt so nice. She felt so happy.
It made her want to sing.
So she started to quietly hum. She chose a ballad, almost a lullaby. Most slow songs weren’t to her taste, but there were a few here and there, and with Kohane asleep, it simply felt right to keep the tempo slow, for there to be long, steady notes and a rhythmic breath.
About a minute in, just for a moment, she heard Kohane wake up. The adorable squeaking stopped, and she felt Kohane look up at her. For that moment, An paused…
…and in the next moment, Kohane brought her head back down to An’s chest, nestling in even more. An knew that was permission, if not a silent plea, for her to keep on singing.
So she let out her next note, and she heard Kohane sigh with contentment. She thought she even heard Kohane giggle softly to herself, and An tightened the arm she had wrapped around the smaller girl. In response, Kohane nuzzled up against her, and it was hard to continue singing when she was being that cute, but An did her very best.
She sang until she felt Kohane fall asleep once more, and then she sang a little longer still, until her eyelids began to grow heavy.
There was still time before dinner, right…?
Just a few more minutes couldn’t hurt, and she let her eyes fall shut.