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It was quite a sight that Genevieve found when she came to identify the rustling in the kitchen. She found Sugar standing precariously on the edge of a chair, reaching high and far into the kitchen’s pantry. They paid her no mind, continuing to rummage through the pantry, even as she came up to their side and cleared her throat to get their attention.
“What are you doing up there?” she asked quizzically.
“Making some cereal. Trying to find the good stuff. Silas must have shoved it somewhere in the back last time he was in here.”
“Cereal? At this time of night?” she raised an eyebrow.
“What are you, my mom?” They finally looked down at her, matching the eyebrow with a cheeky grin, as they dragged the colourful box of cereal from the depths of the pantry and hopped down from their chair stepping stool.
She giggled.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you, or your… palate”
“None taken. You want any?” They asked, shaking the box of sugary loops in her direction.
“No thanks, I’m not hungry”
“Your loss,” they shrugged, shaking a good heaping of cereal into their milk filled bowl, closing the pantry behind them and taking a seat at the table.
“No mate tonight?” they asked before beginning to dig in.
“They’re out with Seer, some getaway night for the two of them,” she responded, taking a seat at the table as well, fingers laced in her lap.
A calm quiet overtook the two, the soft clinking of the spoon on the bowl’s porcelain the only thing occasionally breaking the silence. Evie continued to fidget in her seat, glancing towards Sugar but diverting her eyes every time they looked in her direction.
“So.” Sugar finally said, looking up from their half-empty bowl.
“So…” Evie countered.
“What's on your mind?” they asked.
“I- nothing! Nothing at all, I promise!” she replied, a little too defensively.
That got her a raised eyebrow and a cocky smirk, their final spoonful of cereal suspended just before their mouth.
“No, I see that look on your face. That is the face of someone who wants to ask a question but doesn’t know how to go about asking. You’re tense.” They punctuated the statement with a loud crunch and slurp of the contents of their spoon. “You're worried, it's probably important, and I’m too curious to back down now. So go on, ask away. I won’t judge”
With every word, the guilty look on Evie's face only grew stronger. Sugar sat quietly and expectantly, their cocky smirk slowly faltering as they watched her squirm in her chair.
“Look, you don’t have to actually ask, but-” they began.
“Does it ever get easier?” She blurted out, cutting them off.
“Hmm? Does what ever get easier?” they tilted their head in confusion.
“Loving someone who’s mortal? Knowing that one day you're going to have to leave them behind?”
Sugar turned away in contemplation, gently setting their spoon down in the bowl. The question hung heavy in the air as they pondered it, the bowl forgotten in front of them as they leant back in their chair, arms dangling at their sides. They whistled for a second before settling back down, staring the younger vampire dead in the eyes.
“I don't know,” they let out in a defeated sigh.
“But you seem so willing to love. I swear I’ve seen you flirt with every person who’s walked through the front door at this point,” Evie said, shocked.
“Oh trust me. What I do? That's not love. What you’ve got, that’s love- real love. But me?”
They tipped their bowl back, drinking down the final remnants of the sugary dairy that had settled in the bowl, standing up and placing it in the sink before turning solemnly to the other vampire. “I can’t help with what you’ve got. Flirting’s just a thrill, I’ve never gotten as far into a relationship as you two have. I just want to feel those fleeting bits of love without any of the attachment, you know?”
“That doesn’t sound healthy. Or a good way to live your life”
“Yeah well, when you’re going to outlive pretty much everyone you so much as spare a glance at, it becomes a nicer option,” they sighed, a tinge of bitterness beginning to creep into their voice. “I accepted my immortality… maybe two decades ago? I’d been turned for a while, a decent few years by that point. Lots of travelling, trying to find my place. Ended up a few towns over from where I grew up. Bumped into someone I had a fling with, back when I was… when I was still human.”
They paused, tears beginning to well in their eyes. Evie made a move to comfort them, standing up hurriedly upon seeing their saddened face, but was stopped when they raised a hand towards her, wiping their face with the other.
“I saw the lines in their face, the bags under their eyes, the first few grey hairs. Saw how they'd moved on, kept living. They were married, had a kid, a stable job, they were a full person. Not the young, reckless, barely adult that I'd fallen for. That was when I learned I wasn't allowed to love. Not normally at least. And when I learned vampires can't get drunk”
“Oh that’s awful, I’m so sorry,” she said, the concern in her voice clear as she sat back down. “About the other person. And the drinking as well, I guess?”
“Yeah. Celine found me raiding her wine cellar in her villa in Italy. Made for one hell of a first impression”
“First impression?”
“Yeah,” they chuckled, “I’d been making a bit of a mess around town while she was there, think she went looking for the supposed ‘creature of the night’ that’d been making a stir. She woulda found me anyway, the fact that it was her I was stealing from was pure coincidence.”
“Small world,” Evie offered a small smile, trying to ease the tension in the air, but Sugar ignored it, pressing on regardless, the bitterness in their voice growing in intensity.
“Yeah, after that, and getting brought back here and starting to work for the clan, love was pretty much off the table. At that point anyone I’d see would just be a one and done kind of deal. Flirt, have a fling, maybe a second thing if I’m around for long enough, but it’s always… quick. Get the fun with none of the commitment. If we never saw each other again, that was fine. Meant I wouldn't have to grapple with leaving them behind”
There was a pause, both vampires staring each other down, one with clear sadness in their eyes, the other with worry. Ultimately, it was Genevieve who broke the stalemate.
“You say you can’t love normally. But what's the diner lady then?” she asked
Another pause, as they considered their words, thinking over them carefully.
“Liza’s an… exception, I don’t know,” they finally offered, their voice softening a tad.
“Why? What makes this different from everyone else?”
“I don’t know how to put it. There’s… there’s something there. Something different that I can’t put my finger on.”
“Maybe it's because she's in Glenwood too? Means you don’t have to worry about leaving her behind?” Genevieve offered.
“Maybe,” they pondered, eyes drifting to the floor. “You know, it’s funny. I’m older than her by at least a decade and she doesn't even know”
“Will she know?”
“No, but… maybe eventually. She doesn't know about magic, and to be honest, I’d rather she doesn’t for as long as possible. I don’t know what’ll happen if she learns about it. Honestly, I’d rather not think about it. I just want to try with her for now. Really try, for once”
They sighed, looking up from the floor back at Genevieve again, their face riddled with the barest hint of a scowl.
“Look, getting back on track, you've got a good thing going with your mate.” The softness in their voice was gone, the acid from before beginning to creep back in. “Enjoy it while you can. It’s going to hurt like absolute hell when it’s over, but based on how much you two are so head over heels for each other, I don't think it'll ‘end’ for a while?”
“What do you mean?” Now it was Genevieve’s turn for a tilted head.
“You know, that whole, ‘second death’ thing, or whatever it is. That shit about how people die once when their body dies, and they die the second time when someone says their name for the last time? At this rate, Knight’ll live for a very long time, as long as you’re around to remember them. Find comfort in that. You’ll be loved for now, they’ll be loved for forever”
Evie remained seated, staring at them in bewilderment and curiosity, the more comfortable silence from before now weighing down on the two in a tense and awkward miasma.
“Fuck. I’ve gone and ruined the mood haven’t I?” They reached up, pushing an errant strand of hair behind their ear before standing and moving to leave through the kitchen door. “Well, I have shit I was going to do today. Take care, Evie”
Genevieve continued to stare, before shaking her head and finding her voice.
“I think you’re wrong,” she finally spoke, barely a whisper but still loud enough they knew she’d hear. They hesitated at the doorway, clutching tightly onto the frame with white knuckles, facing away from her but not moving. “You’re allowed to love ‘normally’. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy”
They didn’t respond, but Evie didn’t need vampire level senses to hear their choked sob as they left her there, alone in the kitchen, a single tear rolling down her cheek.