Archive of Our Own

Hank

Hank watched from the lapel of Lillith’s coat, where it hung on a chair in the bedroom, as Lilith and Crowley talked. This was a new experience for him.  Many things were new, if he were honest, because he was only a few hours old…in some senses.  In other ways, he was eternal.  He had no recollection of where he was before he appeared, draped across Lilith's shoulder in Hell, but he knew he must have been somewhere because he understood things as a mature snake, not as a hatchling. 

For example, Hank knew who Crowley and Lilith were.  He knew one was a demon, formerly the first angel, and the other a human, the first woman.  He knew they were in Crowley’s flat in London and that Crowley was fond of Lilith and she was expecting his child, but that he was still nursing a broken heart for Aziraphale. The demon had conjured Hank as an accessory to Lilith's demon outfit, but he was more than that.  Nothing had been discussed, but Hank knew he had a role to play.  

After a while, Crowley and Lilith slept and Hank quietly changed his corporation from a tri-colored gold pin with citrine eyes to a three foot long speckled snake with yellow eyes that rivaled those of the demon.  He carefully lowered himself onto the floor and made his way to the bed, where he placed himself in the warm spot between the two bodies.  

The demon sensed the snake, and slowly opened one eye to regard him.  He didn’t speak but growled low in his throat and Hank got the message.  Perhaps he had overstepped a bit by joining them in bed the first day.  He would work up to that.  Hank was a snake.  He could bide his time, but he would be persistent.  He didn’t think it would take long for Lilith to accept him, although possibly not in the spot between their bodies, but it was hard to say with her.

He was philosophical when he lowered himself to the floor and found a sunny spot between the lush potted plants in front of the glass doors that led to a balcony.  

“Oh, my goodness!” Lilith woke him the next morning when she discovered him nestled in the deep carpet where the morning sun warmed him. 

“There you are!  You’re even more breathtaking in the light!  Crowley!  Did you see him?  Did you know Hank was so pretty?”

Crowley examined the snake with a scowl.

“All snakes are beautiful,” he said offhandedly.  “I don’t know why you’re so surprised.  Do you like him?”

“I love him.  Where did he come from?”

“I made him…sort of…or found him.  I’m not sure. You wanted a snake for your demon look, so here he is.  I can’t really tell you much more than that except that he’ll look after you.”

Lilith lifted Hank and held him close to her chest.  He curled around her shoulders and rested his head near her cheek.  She giggled when he flicked his tongue.  He liked how she smelled and how the air around her tasted.  Crowley watched him, a knowing look on his face.  Lilith had that effect on snakes.  She was irresistible. 

“Can he talk?” She asked.

“Not really.  He understands us, but maybe you can learn to interpret his hisses.”

“Like I did with you in the Garden.”

“Possibly.  I think I was probably easier to understand than he will be, but who knows?”

“He was bigger in Hell.”

“He can change his shape and size like me, but he is always a snake shaped entity.  He became a lapel pin when we got off the lift, but he could be a necklace or a belt or bracelet.  He can be whatever you need him to be, but you must always have him with you.  That’s his function now.”

Lilith threw her arms around the demon and kissed his cheek, while Hank tried not to be crushed in their embrace. 

“You are the sweetest thing,” she crooned, half at Crowley, half at Hank.  Both of them preened and sulked in equal measure. 

“Just remember who came first,” the demon warned, but Hank tucked his nose behind Lilith’s ear and made her giggle again.

“Ok,” Crowley said irritably.  “It’s time for you to eat, but first you need to put on a robe or something.  You can’t come to the table naked.”

“Prude.”

“It’s unsanitary, and also distracting.  What do you want to eat?”

“What do we have?” Lilith called from the bedroom, suddenly very interested in food. 

“Whatever you want.  This place is just like the cottage.  Ask and you will receive.”

“Are you hungry for anything in particular?” Lilith asked as she came out of the bedroom tying the sash on a short, silk robe she’d found in the closet.

“I don’t eat.  Why would you ask me that?”

“Because I’m interested.  Sometimes, it gets lonely when I have to eat by myself.”

Crowley snorted.

“When was the last time you ate by yourself?  You drag me to the table for every meal, except breakfast.”

“It’s not the same if you don’t eat.”

“Fine.  I’ll eat.  What do you want?”

“I don’t know.  Pancakes, maybe?  Doesn’t that sound good?”

“Oh yeah.  Simply scrumptious.”

“Stop it, you big sourpuss.”

Lilith looked upset and the demon relented.  She was getting bigger, and he thought she might be a little uncomfortable.  She was definitely moody.  The honeymoon phase of the pregnancy had passed, and stuff was starting to get real even though the birth was still months away.

“Take a seat at the table and I’ll get your breakfast,” he said placatingly.

“I can do it.  You take too long and I’m starving.”

“Hold your horses.  I’ll be quick.  I know how you get when you’re hungry.”

Crowley gave Hank a side eye.

“No snakes at the table,” he said sternly.

“I let you sit at the table,” Lilith teased.

“You MAKE me sit at the table.  At least, put him on the chair while you eat.”

“You have strange sensibilities,” Lilith remarked as she carefully moved Hank to the chair next to hers. 

The demon ignored her as he placed a plate of pancakes on the table along with butter and maple syrup.  He poured himself some coffee and sat in the chair opposite her with piece of toast.

“There you go,” he said.  “Eat up.”

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

“So, what do we do around here for fun?” Lilith asked as she buttered the last pancake.

Crowley considered the question for a few seconds.  What did he do around here for fun?  When he worked for Hell, he was rarely in the apartment.  After that gig ended, he spent the majority of his time at the bookshop or out with Aziraphale.  After the angel left, the only thing he did in the apartment was drink, sleep and mourn. 

“Nothing,” he said finally.  “I never hung around much. I always had other places to be.”

“Like where?”

“Soho, mostly,” the demon said, with what he hoped was a disinterested shrug.  “After Aziraphale left, I hung around to look after Muriel.  When she didn’t need me anymore, I came looking for you.”

  “Can we go back to the coffee shop?” Lilith asked.  “Everyone there seemed so nice, and Maggie said she hoped we would be great friends.”

“I don’t know,” the demon hedged. 

It was one thing when he had to be there for Muriel, but Crowley had no good reason to hang around the coffee shop now.  Plus, he didn’t want to accidentally run into Aziraphale.  He missed the angel, and was sure he would want to talk, but Crowley wasn’t ready.  He wasn’t sure if he’d ever be.  Maybe it was time for him to cut his losses.

“Why not?” Lilith asked, breaking into the demon’s ruminations.

“I have things to do.”

“Like what?”

“Just things. Ok?”

“Fine, but I have to ask.  Where did you get this robe?”

“What?”

“This robe was in your closet,” Lilith pressed, eyes narrow.  “Whose was it?”

The demon started to sweat, trying desperately to remember why on earth a woman’s silk robe would be in his closet, before he remembered.

“The apartment is like the cottage,” he declared triumphantly.  “It has everything you need.”

Lilith smiled, then laughed.

“It’s a wonder you managed as long as you did in Hell.  You should have seen your face,” she giggled.  “Did you think I would be jealous?”

“I have no idea.  You’re my first roommate.”

“Roommate?”

“You’re the one who didn’t want the commitment.”

“Just stop it.”

Her voice cracked, and the demon could see that Lilith was getting upset again. 

“Tell you what,” Crowley said quickly, relenting.  “Let’s go to the coffee shop.  It looks like I don’t have anything important to do, after all.”

Lilith smiled, then stood up and began untying the belt on her robe.

“Ok,” she said seductively, slipping the robe off one shoulder and sauntering toward the bedroom.  “If you don’t have anything important to do.”

The demon raised his eyebrows as he watched her remove the robe completely before disappearing into the bedroom.  Her moods changed like the weather.  He stood up quickly.

“I meant I didn’t have anything important to do this afternoon, but I can think of some very essential things I have to accomplish immediately.”

“Don’t be too quick about it.”

“Perish the thought!”

Hank lowered himself to the floor, then slithered to the sunny spot by the window.  He doubted he’d be welcome in the bedroom.  Lilith wouldn’t mind, but the demon was an awful prig.

Two hours later, Crowley and Lilith walked into the coffee shop.  Lilith was wearing a beautiful gold serpent necklace with the head of the snake resting just above her ample bosom.

“What can I get you?” Nina asked.

“The usual for me,” the demon said, then looked at Lilith.

“I’d like to try a smoothie,” she said happily.  “With all of that extra stuff in it that’s supposed to make it healthy.”

Nina glanced at Lilith's midsection, noticing her pregnancy in the slightly fitted outfit she selected from the closet.

“You got it,” she said, giving Crowley a quizzical look.

The demon shrugged, but looked pleased, although he tried to hide it.

They hadn’t been seated at the table for long when Crowley's phone rang.

“Yeah?”

“Mr. Crowley?  It’s me, Muriel.”

The demon rolled his eyes. 

“I know who it is.”

“Yes, right.  Sorry.”

“What do you need, Muriel?”

“Furfur would like to speak with you.  Can I give him your cell number?”

“Absolutely not!  Is he there with you?  I’m across the road. Just come over.”

A moment later, Muriel and Furfur entered the coffee shop.  They both looked concerned.

“What is it?” Crowley asked impatiently.

“Can I speak with you privately?” Furfur asked.

“Why?  What do you want?”

Crowley was trying to act relaxed, but he was worried.  He was never far from being worried.

“Dagon would like to meet with you right away,” Furfur said in hushed tones.  “She says it’s important.”

Normally, Crowley would balk and make excuses for not seeing Dagon, but he knew that she wouldn’t request a meeting if it weren’t absolutely necessary.

“Fine.  Tell her I’ll meet her on the bench at the park.  You know the one.”

“Yeah,” Furfur mumbled.  “I’ll tell her.”

Crowley looked at Lilith.

“I have to go,” he said, “but you’ll be fine here.”

He glared at Furfur.

“You stay here the whole time I’m gone.  You got that?”

Furfur nodded.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Crowley,” Muriel assured him.  “I’ll be here too.  Everything will be fine.”

Lilith smiled, but Nina was worried.  She’d seen enough to know that Crowley didn’t get serious unless things were bad.

“Do you want me to close up?” she asked as the demon opened the door to leave.

“Nah,” he hedged.  “I’m sure things will be fine, but stay alert.  You know how to reach me.”

“Yeah.”

Crowley climbed into the Bentley and sped away.  He was at the park in two minutes flat, but Dagon was waiting for him on the bench.  She was squinting, and looked uncomfortable.

“Is it always this bright?” she asked when Crowley sat down.  “Is that why you wear sunglasses all the time?”

“Partly, but mostly to hide my snake eyes from the humans.  They don’t stand out so much anymore now that people get crazy contacts, but I don’t want to answer all the questions. Everyone wants to know where I got ‘em.”

He handed Dagon his spare pair of sunglasses.  She put them on gratefully.

“That helps,” she said, “but the sun is so bright.”

An instant later, she was wearing a ridiculous wide-brimmed straw hat with a preposterous flower sticking out of the band, and relaxed as it shaded her entire face.

“That is much better,” she said with relief.

“My pleasure,” Crowley said.  “Now, what do you want?”

“We have trouble in Hell.”

“What kind of trouble?”

“Rebellion.”

“What do you mean?”

“Remember how I told you that Lucifer was gone?”

“Yeah.”

“Did you tell anyone?”

“No.”

“I didn’t think so, but I had to ask.”

She turned toward Crowley and leaned in a little closer.

“Shax is inept.  She isn’t powerful enough to intimidate the stronger demons and she started using the threat of Lucifer to force them to obey her.”

Crowley whistled.

“Did you tell her Satan had flown the coop?”

“Of course not.”

“I can see why you wouldn’t, but . . ..”

“Just so,” Dagon said.  “She made empty threats, and it was inevitable that someone was challenge her on it.  I stepped in and said Lucifer was on ‘sabbatical’, but I could call him back at any minute and he definitely wouldn’t be happy about it.”

“And they believed you?”

“It’s not the smart demons who are openly rebelling, but even the stupid ones are going to get suspicious sooner or later.”

“Ah.  How did Beelzebub keep control?”

“She’s more powerful and much smarter than Shax.  Also, she had the Dark Council, with some strong demons, to back her up.  Hastur and Ligur were jerks, but they were very helpful in maintaining order.  Asmodeus was the worst, but he loved to flex his muscles.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’.  You killed Hastur and Ligur, and nobody’s seen Asmodeus in a while.  There’s only me, and I can’t do this alone.”

“Why doesn’t Beelzebub come back?”

“Get serious!”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Why?!?  Because you owe me!  I helped you find Lilith, and helped the angel find you.  I told Beelzebub that you’d been taken to Heaven, and she sent Gabriel to rescue you.  Plus, you killed two-thirds of Hell’s enforcers.  It’s time for you to step up.”

“I can’t go down to Hell right now,” Crowley said uneasily.  “I have some irons in the fire up here, and I need to stay close.”

“More like a bun in the oven, wouldn’t you say?” Dagon asked sarcastically.  “How’d you even manage that?  Do you think she’ll actually give birth to a demon like the legends say?”

“Shut up!” Crowley hissed, his eyes fully yellow.  “Do you hear me?  Shut the fuck up!”

“Okay, okay,” Dagon said.  “I get it.  But the problem isn’t just in Hell.  Earth’s involved and it’s going to get bad.”

“What do you mean?”

“One of the things the rebel demons want is access to Earth and humans, and Beelzebub was the only thing keeping them in Hell, and it’s only a matter of time before they break out.  There’s a more immediate problem, though.”

“What?”

“It’s easier for a demon’s essence to get to Earth than its corporation. At first, when a demon stepped out of line Shax would discorporate it, but there was a backlog of bodies.”

“Shit, shit, shit.”

“That was how all of the possessions happened centuries ago, and was the major reason demons got corporations in the first place.  It helped keep them grounded in Hell, so to speak.”

She paused, absently watching a small child feed the ducks. 

“You can’t see them,” she continued, “but there are already demons on Earth, and it looks like they may be possessing humans and doing unspeakable things.  I know that’s really nothing new with humans. . ..”

Crowley scowled, then tried to look innocent.

“Don’t give me that look!” Dagon said, irritably.  “Do you think I didn’t know why you were so successful with so little effort?  Humans are awful.  Anyway, it won’t be long before Heaven notices, and it will only get worse when demons start to invade in their corporations.  Aziraphale will have no choice but to engage, and then there will be war between angels and demons on Earth.”

“Aziraphale?  What does he have to do with it?”

“He’s the Supreme Archangel in Heaven.  Didn’t you know?”

“I thought he abdicated.”

“I don’t know about that, but he returned to Heaven about the same time you went back to Lilith.”

“So, what do you want me to do?” Crowley demanded, although he knew the answer.

“I think it’s pretty obvious.  You need to come with me to Hell to squash the rebellion, and don’t bother to play coy with me.  You’re probably the most powerful demon in the universe, plus you have a reputation.  You hid Gabriel, killed one of Hell’s more vicious demons and sent its bloody body back to Hell in the elevator.  You incinerated Hastur and obliterated the Metatron and two archangels.  Believe me.  The demons will listen to you.”

“I don’t want to be in charge of Hell.”

“Nobody does, but somebody has to take control, and that somebody is you.”

“Didn’t you say there were other intelligent, powerful demons in Hell, but staying under the radar?” Crowley asked.

“I was speculating.  There might be.”

“Hell doesn’t need a strong Grand Duke,” Crowley objected.  “It needs a functioning Dark Council.”

“No duh, but what it needs right now is you.”

“I’m going to have to think about it.”

“Think all you want, but you better get down there quick.”

Suddenly, Crowley's head jerked up and his eyes glowed yellow. 

“Assemble the demons,” he instructed. “I gotta go. I’ll get there when I get there.”

Then he vanished.

---

Lilith watched Crowley leave the coffee shop to meet Dagon, then turned to Muriel.

“Hello,” she said shyly.

Muriel smiled brightly despite her obvious concern.

“Hello!” the angel answered.  “Are you enjoying your time on Earth?”

“I haven’t been here that long, but I’ve enjoyed it so far.”

“I’m so glad to hear it.”

“What did Dagon want to discuss with Crowley?” Lilith asked.

“I honestly don’t know,” Muriel answered, looking sideways at Furfur who had his nose buried in his coffee, trying to be inconspicuous.  “I’m sure it’s nothing you need to worry about.”

The coffee shop door opened, and a large man walked in.

“What can I get you?” Nina asked, but the man ignored her and walked toward the table where Lilith was sitting.  He ignored the angel and the demon, who were now on full alert, and addressed Lilith.

“Aren’t you a pretty little morsel,” he said salaciously.  “I haven’t seen you around before.  How about we go somewhere private and get to know each other better?”

“Hey!” Nina said angrily.  “Get out!”

The man didn’t answer, but patted his jacket pocket in a threatening manner.  Nina’s eyes got wide, and she picked up her phone.

“Put down the phone, if you know what’s good for you,” the man growled.  “Put it on the counter.  Your hands, too.  I wanna see ‘em.”

Muriel and Lilith sat frozen.  Furfur didn’t move, but the angel could feel him gathering his powers and began to do the same.  Nobody noticed when Hank moved from Lilith's throat to her wrist where he became a lovely gold cuff in the shape of a snake with rubies for eyes.  His head rested on the back of her hand.  

The man turned back to Lilith.  With no warning, he grabbed her wrist to pull her out of her seat, but jumped back with a cry.  Blood bubbled from two tiny puncture marks on his thumb.  His face became very pale, he grabbed his wrist, and began to whimper in pain.  An instant later, Crowley appeared in the coffee shop, eyes glowing yellow.  His wings had not materialized, but the mass of them was evident.  He was enormous and terrifying.  With seemingly no effort, the demon yanked the man backward, threw him halfway across the shop, and placed himself between the human and Lilith. 

Just then, Aziraphale appeared behind the man, filled with righteous fury.  At that moment, he wasn’t Aziraphale, the angel, or Aziraphale, the Supreme Archangel.  He was Aziraphale, the Guardian of the Eastern Gate, and he was dreadful.

“What the fuck is going on here?” Crowley hissed at Furfur, ignoring the moaning man.  “I was gone for five minutes.”

“Mr. Crowley,” Muriel said quickly.  “The man just came in.  We were just about to strike.”

Furfur nodded. 

Crowley looked behind him at Aziraphale to see that he was watching the human, but otherwise ignored the angel.  He put his hand out to Lilith, who stood up, put her arms around him and buried her face in his neck.  We gripped her close and stroked her hair.  After a moment, he held her out so he could see that she was unharmed.  Aziraphale witnessed the embrace with a sad smile.

“I’m fine,” Lilith said breathlessly to reassure Crowley.  “Hank bit him.  I know Furfur and Muriel would have stopped him, but I’m so glad you came back.”

“Of course, I came back. I won’t leave you on your own.”

Muriel took Lilith's shaking hand and helped her sit down while Crowley joined Aziraphale in his examination of the man, who was whimpering on the floor, doubled up in agony.

“What happened?” Aziraphale asked.

“Hank happened,” Crowley said dryly.

“Hank?  Who’s Hank?”

“A snake,” the demon said with satisfaction.  “Apparently, a very venomous one.  I don’t think this guy is going to survive.”

The angel bent down and waved a hand over the man.

“I believe you are correct,” he affirmed.  “He’s not long for this world, but there’s something else.  Can you feel it?”

Crowley concentrated for a moment, then nodded. 

“Possession?” Aziraphale asked.

“’Fraid so.”

“Crowley, what is happening?”

“I don’t know everything yet.  I’ll get back to you.”

He turned his back on the angel and addressed Furfur.

“What happened?”

“This man just barged into the shop and went straight for Lilith,” Furfur said, trying not to sound defensive.

“I told him to get out,” Nina said, “but he patted his pocket like he had a gun or something.”

“Honestly, Mr. Crowley,” Muriel begged.  “It all happened so fast.  Nobody had any time to react.  It’s not Furfur’s fault.”

Crowley considered the junior angel with a sour expression.

“Yeah, I know about you two,” he said, relaxing a little.  “One lies and the other swears to it.”

“She’s right, though,” Nina confirmed.  “It happened really fast.”

Crowley nodded, then turned to Muriel.

“I need you to ward this shop from demons.  Put up wards on the entire street if you can.”

He pointed to Furfur.

“You!  Redeem yourself and ward against angels.  I don’t want any celestials within a block of her.  Do you understand?”

Furfur nodded, sheepish but relieved to have Crowley's confidence.

“Can I help?” Aziraphale asked anxiously.

Crowley lifted the writhing human by the neck without looking at the angel.

“Knock yourself out,” he growled, then disappeared.

---

Crowley appeared suddenly on the dais in the main hall of Hell, wings unfurled.  His eyes were completely yellow and his expression murderous.  He dropped the human onto the floor at his feet.  The demons near the dais gasped, and stepped back.  Shax was on his right, pale and silent. He looked at Dagon, who was standing to his left. 

“Is this all of them?”

“These are who came,” Dagon whispered.

“Ah.  There are some holdouts.  Good to know.”

He turned to the crowd.

“Listen to me!” he bellowed, loud enough that even the demons in the back of the hall jumped. 

Crowley lifted the human by the back of the neck and held him aloft while the dying man struggled weakly, and then stilled.  A transparent likeness of the man floated out of the slack mouth and looked around in fear before it was sucked, screaming, into the blackness of Hell.  Crowley looked on with satisfaction, then turned back to the assembly.  He thrust his hand into the corpse, pulled out a struggling shadow and threw the dead body into the crowd, where it immediately erupted in flames as panicked demons scrambled to get away from it.  He held up the shadow for all to see.

“Who is this?” he asked, shaking the spirit violently.

No one spoke.

“Who…is…this?!?” he bellowed.

“That’s Arnos,” Dagon said finally, consulting a clipboard Eric had just handed her.  “Shax discorporated him, along with several other rebels.”

Crowley turned to Shax.

“How many have you discorporated, knowing you didn’t have bodies for them?” he hissed.  “How many of these are floating around Hell?”

“I don’t know,” Shax snapped.  “Maybe 25?”

“Ninety six,” Dagon said, looking up from the clipboard.

“Ninety six,” Crowley repeated.

He snapped a finger and Arnos was engulfed in flames, and evaporated with an agonized wail.  The crowd gasped.

“Ninety five, now.”

Dagon nodded and scratched out something on her clipboard.  Crowley turned to the assembled demons and swept his fiery eyes over the crowd.

“I don’t want to be here,” he said quietly, although his voice still carried to every corner of the space.  “And I sure the fuck don’t want to be here dealing with the likes of Arnos.

“I know you aren’t all here,” he continued, “so I’ll rely on those in attendance to spread the word.  If I have to, I will rain fire on every last one of you, and unlike Hellfire, my flames will destroy you.  Do you understand?”

The room was silent, although several demons nodded their heads, eyes wide.

“Do you understand?!?”

Everyone nodded, and Crowley looked at Shax with disgust before he walked out of the hall with Dagon and Shax behind him.  When they were in Dagon’s office with the door closed, Crowley let out a breath.

“I’m not much for public speaking,” he said wryly.

Dagon smiled.

“And yet, somehow you conveyed your message,” she quipped.

“Indeed,” Shax agreed.

Crowley glared at the Grand Duke of Hell.

“What in the Hell happened down here?  How did you lose control like this?”

Shax shrugged.

“I’m sure Dagon told you the whole story,” she growled.

“And I’m sure Dagon told you that Satan isn’t going to come running to help an inept Grand Duke!  You’re lucky he didn’t get wind of this and destroy you.”

“I think your little display will hold them for a while,” Dagon interrupted, “but it’s not a permanent solution.  It won’t be long before they start to push back.”

Crowley sighed, then sat heavily in Dagon’s chair.

“Shit,” he groaned.  “I’m going to have to make regular visits, and I am very unhappy about that.  I know you’re shorthanded, but there will be casualties.  I don’t have time to dick around with this.”

“I understand,” Dagon answered.  “It’s not as if the rebels are doing any actual work anyway.  They’re just distracting the rest of the demons.”

“Do you think you can get a count of how many ‘spooks’ are in Hell and how many have floated up to Earth?” Crowley asked, in a tired voice.  “I have some help up there, but I need to know what I’m dealing with.”

“I’ll get that information to you as soon as I can.”

“Good.”

Crowley looked at Shax.

“Do better,” he commanded, then vanished.

---

Crowley popped into the coffee shop, but only Nina was there.

“The others went to the bookshop,” she said.  “But Muriel and Furfur warded this place from here until Sunday.”

“Good.”

“Is everything ok?”

“That remains to be seen.”

The demon walked across the street, and hesitated a moment before entering the bookshop.  He sighed when he saw Aziraphale seated at his desk drinking a cup of tea while Lilith grasped a mug on the sofa across from the angel.  Hank was draped over the back of the sofa in a patch of sun.  They all looked up when the bell over the door tinkled, but weren’t surprised to see Crowley, even though the shop was closed, and the door locked.

Lilith put down her mug and rushed over to greet the demon.  She took one of his hands in both of hers.

“I know I shouldn’t have been, but I was worried about you,” she whispered.  “You went to Hell, didn’t you?”

“Yup.”

Crowley conjured a glass of whiskey and he and Lilith sat down on the sofa.

“Can you tell me what is happening?” Aziraphale asked.  “Is it something you are able to share with me?”

“I don’t know.  The last thing I need is Heaven getting involved in this, but if things get too dicey, I’ll catch you up.  That’s the best I can do right now.”

“But you were in Hell?”

“Yup.”

“Will you have to return?”

“Probably.”

“Then, I have a suggestion,” the angel said quickly, “and I would appreciate it if you would hear me out.”

Crowley growled.

“Fine,” he grumbled.

“I think it would be in everyone’s best interest if Lilith remained in the bookshop when you go down to Hell.  We discussed it, and she is amenable.”

Crowley looked sideways at Lilith, his mouth a thin line.

“Way to go behind my back Aziraphale,” he hissed.  “You should have spoken with me first.”

“I’m an adult, Crowley,” Lilith said quietly, still holding his hand.  “I can make my own decisions and I don’t need your permission.”

The demon sipped his whiskey, but remained silent. 

“If it helps,” Aziraphale said placatingly, “it was Muriel’s idea.  She mentioned it, and Lilith agreed before I had a chance to speak with either of you.”

“She’s right, though,” Crowley said.  “She doesn’t need my permission.”

“But I don’t want you to be unhappy about it,” Lilith objected.

“I know Muriel warded the apartment against demons,” Aziraphale said, “and her wards are formidable, but, even so, Lilith will be safer here with Muriel and Furfur.”

The demon shrugged.

“It’s the right thing to do,” he said.  “I just have to get used to the idea.  You’d be safe enough in the apartment, but it would get lonely.”

“I know.  That was my worry, too,”  Lilith agreed.

“You won’t be here?” Crowley asked Aziraphale.

“I can stop by, but I can’t be here all of the time.  Things in Heaven are still a mess.  It’s going to take a while to get things in order.”

“Ah,” the demon said quietly.

“Crowley!  Please don’t be like that.  I have the same obligations to Heaven that I assume you do to Hell.  Actually, I have more since you destroyed the Metatron and the two highest ranking archangels.  You have no right to hold that against me.”

The demon stood and offered Lilith his hand.

“We gotta go.  I’ll let Muriel know next time I have to go Down, so she can expect us.”

“Thank you, Aziraphale,” Lilith said politely as Crowley led her to the door.  “I hope to see you again soon.”

“Careful what you wish for,” Crowley warned half-jokingly as he helped her into the Bentley, “because my next visit to Hell will likely be prolonged, and you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.”

“I missed you today.  It’s funny how quickly I got used to you being around.”

“Not funny.  It’s completely understandable.  Imma delight.”

“Yes, you are.”  

---

They were awakened the next morning by Muriel’s ringtone and Crowley cursed.

“I hate that fucking song,” he grumbled as he reached for the phone.

“I think it’s pretty.”

“Trust me, you won’t like it after you see the commercials with the dogs.”

“What?”

“On second thought, avoid the commercials with the dogs.  You’re in no condition to see that!”

Crowley answered the phone.

“What?”

“Yeah,” he said impatiently.  “I know it’s you.  Fine, put him on.”

The demon listened for a few seconds then hung up the phone with a sigh.

“I expected this, but I still don’t like it.”

“You have to go back already?”

“Yup.  Dagon has some information for me, and we have to make plans.  Why don’t you get your stuff while I make breakfast?  I doubt you’ll find anything healthy at the bookshop.  Aziraphale has no concept of the four food groups.  He only knows three:  gravy, sauces and dessert.  Muriel is worse.”

“That sounds delicious.”

“I’m sure it is, but you have to eat better than them.  They’re immortal.”

They were both quiet for a minute and Lilith leaned heavily against Crowley’s chest as he sagged back down on his pillow.

“I know I’m not immortal,” she said, “but I plan on living a long time.  Thank you for worrying, though.”

“You have a baby to think about, too.”

“I know.  Oh, by the way.  Give me your hand.”

Lilith took his hand and placed it on her round belly.  Even as advanced as the pregnancy was, his hand nearly covered it.

“Do you feel that?  Here. Right here.”

She shifted his hand and they both smiled when the baby kicked.

“He’s a beast,” Crowley chuckled.  “How long has this been going on?”

“Not long.  I think I noticed it yesterday or the day before, but things got hectic.  It’s not all the time, either.  Just once in a while.”

“Ok”, the demon said, feigning enthusiasm. “Time to get out of bed and get going.”

Crowley stood up and noticed Hank curled in the crook of Lilith's knees.  The snake ignored the demon’s glare and Crowley grumbled, but didn’t say anything.

Twenty minutes later, Lilith was eating a fruit and yogurt parfait with oatmeal and all sorts of seeds that Lilith assured Crowley were packed with protein and antioxidants.

“When we get to the bookshop,” he said as he sipped his coffee, “I’ll set up a space for you, so you’ll have everything you need while I’m away, including plenty of fruits and vegetables.  I hope it won’t be too long, but I don’t know.”

Lilith reached over, took his hand and pulled him close.

“Tell me you’ll miss me,” she said in a small voice.

“I’ll miss you.”

“Do you swear?”

“I swear.  You’ve grown on me.”

“Like a tumor?”

“What?  No!  Who taught you that?”

“You’re supposed to say, ‘it’s not a ‘too-mah’.’”

“What?”

“I have no idea, but Muriel and Furfur couldn’t stop laughing about it yesterday.”

“Ok.  I guess we’ll let them have that.  Are you ready?”

“I suppose.”

---

“Right,” Crowley said an hour later.  “You’re all set.”

The demon looked with satisfaction at his “remodel” of Jim’s bedroom.  Of course, Lilith's was larger and tidier and had a huge, comfortable bed, a sitting area surrounding a cozy fireplace, a private bath with a large tub, and just about every luxury Crowley could think of.  He felt guilty about leaving, and Lilith cleverly took full advantage by asking for “one more thing”.  Of course, he knew she was merely delaying his departure, but it was a game they played.

“I’ve set up the kitchen downstairs to work like our kitchens, so you should have everything you need or want, but remember the food pyramid before you hit the ice cream, yeah?” 

“I’ll be fine,” Lilith soothed, even though she thought she might cry.  Granted, she cried at cat food commercials, but this was different.

She wrapped her arms around the demon, and he held her tight.  He stroked her cheek and kissed her hair.  They were saying their goodbyes in the private, so he wasn’t afraid to be affectionate.

“I’ll miss you too,” Lilith whispered.

“Yeah.”

 She took his hand and led him down the stairs to the bookshop.  Muriel was sitting on the sofa, while Furfur fidgeted, trying not to look impatient. 

“Are you ready to go, Crowley?” he asked when he saw them.

“I’m ready as I’ll ever be.”

Crowley looked sternly at Furfur.

“You got this, right?  If you think anything is wrong, you act.  Capiche?  You won’t have time to screw around.”

He looked at Muriel.

“Nobody is allowed in the bookshop.  I don’t care who it is.  The same goes for Maggie’s shop.  Help with her online orders, but you are not to invite anyone into this building.”

Muriel nodded solemnly.

“We’ve got this, Mr. Crowley,” she assured him.  “Furfur and I have been experimenting and, while we aren’t as powerful as you and . . ..  Anyway, we are stronger together than separate.”

Finally, the demon addressed Hank as he hung languidly over Lilith's shoulders, his head tucked under her ear.  He didn’t look at Crowley, but he didn’t have to.

“You don’t leave her side for a second,” the demon instructed sternly.  “And let me know what’s happening.” 

Crowley walked toward the door.

“I’ll see you when I see you,” he said as he closed the door. “But I’ll try to pop up for short visits if I can.”

---

As Crowley walked down the normally congested halls of Hell toward Dagon’s office, the demons gave him plenty of space.  He had already cemented his reputation, but the look on his face was chilling.

“Ok,” he said as he walked into Dagon’s office and shut the door.  “Whaddya know?”

“We can account for 80 of the demon ‘spooks’,” she said.  “That means there are 15 unaccounted for, and we can only assume they are on Earth, but I have no idea how we’re going to find them.”  She paused.  “There’s something else,” she said.

“What?”

“Nobody’s seen Asmodeus.”

“Yeah, you mentioned that before.  So?”

“I wasn’t worried about it before, because he wanders off sometimes and never comes when he’s called, but Asmodeus is not in Hell.”

“How can that be?”

“I imagine he took the elevator to Earth when no one was looking.  There’s no other place he could be.  Shax dropped a lot of balls.”

“Fuck.” Crowley said, rubbing his temples.  “Do you have any competent demons?”

“I have a few.  I’ve been keeping a closer watch and I think I’ve spotted some intelligent demons who have kept their heads down.  If your theory is correct, they should also be fairly powerful.  They won’t like being conscripted onto the Dark Council, but if they’re as bright as I hope they are, they’ll see the logic.”

“Good.  Do we have any idea where the renegades are?  There are plenty of places on Earth where evil would go unnoticed.”

“As always, we keep tabs on that sort of thing.  It looks like we have an uptick of violence in New York City, but it’s hard to tell if that’s one of ours.  All you can do is check it out.  It will be one thing if the demon is merely influencing the human.  It will be something else entirely if there is an actual possession.”

“Do you think any of the escapees is strong enough to possess a human?”

“I don’t know.  There was a time when I would have said it was impossible, but humans are so easily influenced toward hate and violence these days, it’s hard to say.  The United States is a ticking bomb.”

“So, where am I needed the most?  In Hell to manage the demons, or on earth to find the spooks?”

“Like I said.  I have a few competent demons. I’ll start by leading a taskforce to Earth to see what we can find out.  You stay down here and put the fear of Crowley into these assholes.  I’ll send word if I need backup.”

“Once you find them, how are you going to get them back to Hell?  Are they tangible on Earth like they are in Hell?”

“I’m not sure.  You got that last one because you killed the human the spook was possessing.  Normally, a spook could bolt if spotted, but it’s much harder to release a human once possession is complete.”

“How do you know that?”

“You remember the 14^th Century, right?  There were a bunch of shenanigans on Earth from Heaven and Hell during that time.  That’s what led to the prohibition against unauthorized demons, and Sandalphon, going to Earth unescorted.”

“I hated the 14^th Century.”

“It was the worst,” Dagon agreed.  “Anyway, if we’re lucky, we’ll see them before they see us, but that means we’ll have to kill some humans, which could be a problem.  Maybe we need to run this by Heaven first?” 

“Yeah, I was afraid of that. I might have another plan, but either way, I’ll talk to the Supreme Archangel.  He should probably know about this anyway.”

Dagon actually looked a little sympathetic.

“Yeah. You’d better,” she said. “And you’d better be quick.”

“In the meantime,” Crowley instructed, “make sure that every demon has a corporation or is contained.  Put anybody who’s even a little bit sketchy into detention.  Let’s try to keep the damage at a minimum until I can decide how I want to deal with the traitorous demons.”

“It’s funny you should label them as ‘traitors’,” Dagon chuckled.

“There are levels of treachery. I like to think I elevated it to an art.”

“Whatever.”

Crowley walked out of her office and down the hall to the elevator.  He knew the situation was dire, and he didn’t want to speak with Aziraphale about the trouble in Hell, or about anything else, but he had no choice.

“Muriel!” Crowley called when he walked into the bookshop.  “Can you get your Supreme-ness down here?  I need to talk to him.”

“Right away, Mr. Crowley.”

“Crowley!” Lilith said when she saw him.  “You’re back!”

“Not to stay.  This is just a planning session.  I still have a lot to do.”

“Oh.”

Lilith wasn’t a child.  She understood Crowley wasn’t back for good, but was disappointed, nonetheless.

A moment later, Aziraphale entered the bookshop.

“You needed to speak with me?” he said to the demon.

“Yeah.  Let’s go somewhere private.”

“Oh?” Aziraphale responded, a tiny bit hopeful.

“It’s business.”

“Oh.  Of course.”

The angel followed Crowley to the backroom and shut the door behind him.

“What did you wish to speak to me about?” he asked primly.

“There’s trouble in Hell.”

“I gathered that.  What can you tell me?”

Crowley rubbed his temples, conjured a glass of whiskey and sank heavily into an overstuffed chair which was miraculously devoid of books.  He didn’t offer an apology for the disappearance of the books, nor did he offer the angel a drink.  It was Aziraphale’s bookshop.  He could get his own tea.

“As I’m sure you guessed,” the demon began, “Shax was an inept Grand Duke of Hell.”

“I’m not surprised,” Aziraphale said as he carefully moved books from the seat of the other chair and placed them on the floor.

“Anyway, some of the demons revolted.  She discorporated them, of course, but there was a backlog for bodies, so she just created a bunch of spooks.”

“Spooks?”

“Demons don’t have a soul.  They have a spirit that returns to Hell when their bodies are discorporated.  We call those ‘spirits’ spooks.”

“I understand.”

“The problem is that apparently, spooks aren’t tethered to Hell like a demon with a corporation is, and some of the spooks came up to Earth and are influencing humans to do evil.”

“Do you mean the spooks are possessing the humans?” Aziraphale asked, obviously alarmed.

“Not necessarily,” Crowley hedged.  “It may not be full-fledged possession.  More like a ‘devil on the shoulder’ kind of thing.”

“But, the man who attacked Lilith was possessed?”

“These are weak demons, so they would be weak spooks, but the man was certainly no saint.  I expect it’s easier to influence or possess humans who are already bad.”

“Is that why you took his body to Hell?  So, you could catch the spook?”

“I didn’t really know what to do with him.  He died in Hell, his soul and the spook were expelled.  I made a point of destroying the spook in front of the demons.  I wanted to send a message.”

“So, why are you telling me all this?  Do you think there are more spooks on Earth?”

“There are 15 spooks unaccounted for.”

“You can’t intend to kill 15 more humans!  I don’t think my side would allow that.”

“You don’t have a side anymore.  You are the side.”

Crowley sighed. 

“Look,” he said.  “I don’t want to kill any humans either, but it might be necessary, so I thought I should tell you what was happening.”

“Oh.”

“I’m not sure killing humans is the answer anyway,” Crowley mused, feeling very tired.  “Possession is difficult.  As I said, I doubt most of the spooks are capable of it.  I think for the most part, they merely attach themselves to humans to influence the human’s behavior, so killing the human may not send the spook back to Hell where it can be captured.  The spook might make a run for it the minute it sees us.  It depends on how intertwined they are.”

Aziraphale conjured a glass of wine and sipped it as he considered the dilemma.  Suddenly, he brightened.

“I might have an idea,” he said.

“Do tell.”

“You remember Anathema, right?”

“Book girl?”

“She has a name, Crowley, and you know what it is,” the angel scolded.

“Get on with it.”

“Witches can summon demons.”

“Yeah?”

“If the spook hasn’t possessed a human, it could be summoned, right?  We could ask Anathema to do it.  I seem to recall that a demon can be captured and imprisoned in a vessel.  That seems straightforward enough, although I worry that she would be dealing with demons.”

“Yeah,” Crowley said and stopped rubbing his temple for a moment.  “That might work.”

“If the demon has possessed a human,” Aziraphale continued. “We would have to perform an exorcism before we trapped the spook.  I did plenty of those in the early days.  The 14^th Century was the worst.”

“Preach.”

Aziraphale’s lip twitched, but it was obvious from his expression, that Crowley did not intend the statement as a joke. 

“How far can a summoning reach?” the angel continued.  “This is a big planet.  I’m not sure there are that many witches left.”

“There are more than enough witches,” Crowley assured him, “but the spooks are in the celestial realm.  They won’t be hard to reach.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know that time on Earth is different than it is in Heaven and Hell, right?”

“Yes.”

“Distance and space are different as well.”

“So?”

“Distance is irrelevant when you’re dealing with the mystical.  The physical location of the witch should have no bearing on the summoning.”

Crowley winced imperceptibly as he remembered the time in the 14^th century (of-fucking-course!) when he’d been “inconveniently discorporated”, and the instant before his essence returned to Hell, he was summoned by a shaman on the other side of the globe.  Fortunately, the holy man was inexperienced and seeking a spirit more in line with his belief system, so Crowley was able to talk his way out of it.  After he escaped, he went straight to Hell, and for the first time ever, was happy to fill out the paperwork for a new corporation.  He’d had the same one since.  All those years, and not a scratch.

Aziraphale was watching the demon closely, but didn’t comment.  He took a last sip of wine and stood up.

“I don’t think there is any reason for us to alert anyone in Heaven about this,” he said with confidence. “But I will get in touch with Anathema immediately to see if she can help us.  Is there anything she needs to know?”

“Not really, but I think it would be a good idea to have a demon with her during the summoning to make sure nothing goes wrong.”

“Who would that be?”

“Dagon.”

“Dagon?!”

“Furfur?” Crowley suggested impatiently.  “Do you think he’s up to it?”

“I don’t know.  He and Muriel are a bit of an enigma to me.  I keep meaning to look into their powers more closely, but I get sidetracked.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Why can’t you be with her?”

“I have to keep a lid on the demons in Hell until the Dark Council can get up and running again.  Dagon is the only member left.  Beelzebub is with Gabriel, and I destroyed Hastur and Ligur.”

Crowley didn’t think it was necessary to alert the angel to the fact that Asmodeus was on Earth.  Not yet, at least.

“We can circle back to that,” Aziraphale said, wondering how Crowley had destroyed Hastur, “but what about Satan?  Why can’t he control the demons?  Why is it up to the Grand Duke and the High Council?”

“Satan doesn’t want to get his hands dirty, does he?” Crowley lied.  “Maybe he thinks Heaven will consider the spooks to be an act of aggression and he’ll finally get his war.”

“I suppose.”

“Anyway, Dagon can be with Anathema.  She’s smart, and helped you find me and contacted Beelzebub so Gabriel could break us out of Heaven.  I trust her, but that’s between you and me.”

“Fine.  You talk to Dagon, and I’ll talk to Anathema.  Time is of the essence.”

“Good.  Gotta run.”

“It was nice talking to you.”

“Yeah,” Crowley said over his shoulder as he left the room.  “Lilith,” he said a second later.  “Where are you?”

“I’m here.”

Aziraphale watched as the young woman ran up to Crowley and threw her arms around his neck.  With no hesitation, she pulled his head down to her level and kissed him soundly on the mouth, and he kissed her back.

“Good,” Crowley said, laying his hand fondly on Lilith's belly.  “Now, tell me what you two have been up to.  I only have a minute, so make it fast.”

“The baby is kicking like crazy, mostly when I’m trying to sleep or if I eat spicy food.”

Crowley shrugged.  He tried to look casual but failed to hide the look of wonder on his face.

“He’s little demon,” he confirmed.  “Obviously, he loves spicy food.”

Aziraphale smirked at that remark.  He’d seen Crowley eat spicy food exactly one time.  The demon did not care for it.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not why he kicks,” Lilith disagreed.

“Whatever.  What else?”

“Muriel and Furfur are showing me around, but we can’t go outside of this block.”

“I know.  There are wards in place against demons and angels, but they can only go so far.  You’re safe here.”

“But I haven’t gotten to see any of the city or of Earth.”

“Look, when we get this sorted out, I’ll show you all the kingdoms of the world.”

“Are you teasing me?”

“A little, but I promise.  I’ll take you wherever you wanna to go.  Ok?”

“Ok.”

Crowley gave Hank, who was draped like a necklace around Lilith's neck, a stern look.

“In the meantime, you look after her, yeah?”

The snake stared at the demon impassively, but Crowley didn’t expect anything different.

“Now, I have to go.”

Lilith walked Crowley to the door and gave him another hug, which he returned, before he left.  Aziraphale thought the demon might have kissed Lilith's head, but even if the angel was wrong about that, the entire scene broke his heart.  He’d always suspected Crowley was capable of affection.  How could he have given that up for the cold sterility of Heaven?

The angel straightened his waistcoat, took a deep breath and smiled as he walked into the bookshop.  He knew why he went to Heaven.  He wanted to make a difference, and he thought that was still possible.  He was happy for Crowley, and hoped that what he would accomplish in Heaven would be worth what he’d given up on Earth. 

---

“Yeah, I remember that whole ‘trapping the demon in a vessel’ rigamarole,” Dagon shrugged.  “We lost a few demons in the early days.  I don’t think we’ve gotten any of them back.”

“So, Aziraphale talked to Anathema and she’s ok with doing the summoning and agreed to let you be there when she does it,” Crowley was saying.  “She’s pretty powerful, so I don’t anticipate any problems, but I’m not going to take any chances.  You can bring the demons back to Hell and store them here until we figure out what to do with them.”

Dagon looked uncomfortable at the thought of being near a witch who could summon and trap demons, but agreed it was probably the most efficient way to collect the spooks before they did more damage.  It would definitely be faster than her original plan of scanning Earth for signs of trouble and hoping to catch some spooks in the act. 

“As soon as I get word that she’s ready, I’ll introduce you to Anathema.”

Dagon nodded.

“What are you going to do now?” she asked.

“I’d rather not have to destroy the traitors, but I will in a pinch. Who’s your best torturer these days?”

“Niya, I guess.  Remember her?”

Dagon gave Crowley an evil look.

“Yeah, I remember her,” he said dryly.  “She’s good.  Very inventive, but I’m not a fan.”

“I should say not!”

“Quit smirking.  That whole ordeal was a simple misunderstanding, but you were never one to listen to reason.  Anyway, while you’re on demon trapping duty, I’ll go put the fear of Niya into the would-be rebels.”

“I’ll let her know.  Will you be in Shax’s office or in the council room?”

“I’ll be out in the general population.  I want them to see me and be very afraid.  Tell Niya to find me.”

“Ok.”

“Let me know how the summoning goes.”

“Will do.”

---

Lilith sat on her bed and pouted.  She was becoming more irritable and impatient by the minute.  Crowley had been gone for weeks, the baby kicked whenever she tried to get some sleep, and everything she ate gave her heartburn.  She could see why people thought pregnancy was punishment for the apple.  In addition, Lilith was not used to being cooped up.  She was accustomed to being outside gardening, swimming and exploring.  The bookshop and one block of Soho were stifling, plus she missed Crowley. 

Even Hank wasn’t enough anymore.  She stroked him fondly as he lay draped over her shoulders.  He nuzzled her with his nose and tickled her with his tongue, but she hardly smiled anymore.  She hadn’t giggled in days.

There was a knock at the door.

“Lilith?” Muriel asked.  “Are you awake?  May I come in?”

“I’m awake.  Come in.”

“I thought you might be ready for lunch,” the little angel said as she walked into the room.  “Is there something you’d like?”

“I’m not hungry,” Lilith grumbled.  “Nothing I eat is sitting right.”

“I know.  I’m sorry about that, but you need to keep up your strength.  I’ve done some research and there are things you can eat that might help.  In the meantime, I got you these antacids.  They have calcium, which is good for the baby’s bones.”

Lilith looked close to tears, a condition that was becoming more frequent.

“I’ll be out in a minute,” she said in a small voice, wiping the errant tear from her cheek.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Muriel asked hopefully, but already knowing the answer.

“No.  Thank you.”

The angel quietly closed the bedroom door and went back to the bookshop where Furfur was waiting for her.

“Any change?” he asked.

“No.  I feel terrible.”

Furfur patted Muriel’s back in what he had read was a comforting gesture.  He wasn’t really worried about Lilith, but he did not like to see Muriel unhappy.

“Do you think we could take her to feed the ducks?” Muriel asked after a moment.

“I don’t think so,” Furfur said.  “Crowley was pretty adamant when he told us to keep her here.”

“We could take the Bentley.  She’s shielded against demons and angels, so we’d only be outside for the time it takes to feed the ducks and walk around the park a bit.”

“Ducks?  What ducks?”

Furfur and Muriel turned to see Lilith. 

“I had ducks,” the young woman said sadly.  “I miss them.  I miss all of my animals, even though I ate a chicken once.  She was ‘on her last drumstick’ Crowley said, so I guess it was ok, but I still felt bad.  I like Crowley's kitchens.  All the meat with none of the guilt.  Tell me about the ducks.”

Furfur cursed and Muriel winced.  Now, they’d done it.  Lilith knew about feeding ducks.  They were never going to have any peace.

“There are ducks at the park,” Muriel explained, “but they aren’t that great.  It’s boring to feed them.”

“You go to the park and feed ducks?” Lilith asked impatiently.  “And you’ve never taken me?”

“We haven’t fed the ducks since you got here,” Furfur groused. 

He would never admit it, but he liked feeding the ducks.  Sometimes, Muriel would let him hold her hand like the humans at the park did.

“Will you take me to feed the ducks?” Lilith asked.  “Please, please, please?”

“We can’t,” Muriel said.  “Mr. Crowley told us to keep you here.”

“But he’s been gone forever, and I’m bored.  I’m not used to being stuck inside, and I need my exercise.  It’s not good for me to walk up and down the block because of all of the exhaust fumes from the cars.  Please take me to feed the ducks.”

Lilith had been doing her own research as she tried to find a way to escape from her tiny urban prison.  She was very excited to read about “exercise” and “exhaust fumes”.

“I’m sorry, but we just can’t,” Muriel said firmly.  “We can’t.”

“Fine!”

Lilith turned and stormed into her bedroom.  Muriel sighed and Furfur shrugged.

---

“So, where is the park with the ducks?” Lilith asked casually as she ate dinner a few nights later.  “Is it far from here?”

“It’s not far,” Muriel said naively, as she waved over Lilith's shoulder.  “It’s just a few blocks that way.”

“What’s a block?”

“This area where we are is a block.  It’s basically from one cross-street to the next one.”

“The park is just a few blocks that way?” Lilith turned and pointed behind her.

“Yup.”

“Can’t we take the Bentley?  We’d be safe in her.”

Muriel struggled to stay patient and not let Lilith see her exasperated eye-roll.

“We can’t,” she said simply.  “Mr. Crowley can take you when he gets back.”

“But he’s been gone for so long,” Lilith mumbled as she sipped some tea.

“I know.  I’m sorry.”

---

“Will you please take me to feed the ducks?” Lilith begged several days later.

Lilith sat in the driver’s seat and spoke to the Bentley in her most wheedling voice. 

“I know you know where it is and you’d protect me, right?  You’re so brave and strong.”

The Bentley’s engine growled, but did not start.  The answer was clear. 

“Fine!  I’ll just go myself.”

Lilith climbed out of the car, and would have slammed the door if the Bentley had allowed such a thing, and walked quickly in the direction of the park.  She had to hurry.  Muriel and Furfur were going to notice she was gone any minute.  Hank hissed in her ear.

“I don’t care,” Lilith said defiantly.  “I’m sick of being stuck here.”

Just then, the Bentley’s horn blared loudly and continuously.  The car was ratting her out!  Lilith began to run as quickly as she was able, and a moment later, she heard Muriel shout, but ignored it.  She didn’t have far, and she was determined to get out, even if they caught her immediately afterward.

The air felt different when she broke through the angelic and demonic wards that protected her and the other Soho merchants.  Even though she was merely on a different city block, she felt free, though it wouldn’t last long.  Muriel and Furfur were catching up and she was winded, but she hurried toward the park anyway.  With no warning, a car pulled up beside her, two men got out and forced her into the backseat and the car sped away.  Imperceptibly, Hank changed from a necklace to a tiny ring with a very thin, gold band.

Muriel and Furfur cried out and tried to chase the car, but it was hopeless.  A second later, the Bentley passed them on the street in pursuit, but the car was gone. 

“Crowley is going to be furious with me,” Furfur said despondently.

“It’s not your fault!” Muriel comforted him as she pulled out her phone and quickly wrote a text. 

A second later, an enraged demon stood in front of her, eyes burning.

“What happened?” he demanded.

“We thought she was in her bedroom,” Muriel explained, “until we heard the Bentley’s horn.  We ran right out of the bookshop, but she was already halfway down the block.  She broke through the wards before we could catch her.”

“Then this black car pulled up beside her and two men pushed her into the backseat,” Furfur continued.  “We and the Bentley tried to follow, but they got away.”

“Fuck!  You had one job!  One!  How did you let this happen?”

“Crowley,” a mild voice behind him interjected.  “They explained.  She fooled them.  They thought she was in her room.  It would only take her a couple of seconds to get from there to the street.”

“Aziraphale!” Crowley turned his frustration on the angel.  “Butt out!  They were never to let her out of their sight!  Somebody should have been watching the door.  How did they not hear the bookshop bell?”

“I’m not disagreeing with you,” Aziraphale said placatingly, “but we don’t have time for blame.  We need to concentrate on finding her.”

He turned to Muriel, who was fighting back tears.

“What did the car look like?  Did you see the number plate?”

“It was a black, four door Ford sedan,” Furfur volunteered.  “It didn’t have a back plate.”

“That’s no help at all,” Crowley growled.  “I gotta find Dagon.”

“Wait!  Crowley!” Aziraphale said, and gestured for the demon to follow him to the bookshop.

“She has Hank, doesn’t she?” he asked.

Crowley's eyes widened and he slapped his forehead.

“Of course!” he whispered.  “Hank is with her. We can use him to find her.”

The demon’s expression almost softened when he looked at Aziraphale, but not quite.

“Thanks for that.  Now, I really gotta go.”

“It was my pleasure,” the angel said sadly to the empty space where Crowley had been.

The demon had never stayed angry for this long in all of their eons together.  Aziraphale was afraid their friendship did not survive his decision to return to Heaven.

---

Anathema looked askance at Dagon as the demon sat uncomfortably on a chair in the witch’s living room.  The demon had declined the cup of tea the young woman had offered, and now they were considering each other carefully.

“How many demons are we looking for again?” Anathema asked as she arranged her implements around the symbols she had marked on the wooden floor of her cottage.

“Fifteen.”

“Great.  I have enough vessels.  If we’re lucky, we might get two in one go, but I’m not sure about that.  I’ve never summoned a demon before, because up until now, there was only one on Earth and I have his cell number, but don’t tell him.”

Dagon watched with fascination as Anathema set up the summoning circle.  The demon was perplexed by the human.  Demons were nasty business, but the woman invited Dagon into her home and was prepared to summon and attempt to trap them. 

“Why aren’t you afraid?” Dagon asked.

“Of you?”

“No. Crowley and I are not representative at the moment.  Why aren’t you afraid to summon demons? ”

“I know when I’m going to die.  I know much of what will happen to me in my life, and being captured or killed by a demon is not on the agenda.  Agnes would have told me.”

“Agnes?”

“My great grandmother, a few more times removed.  She was the most powerful witch in all of history, and she wrote two books of prophecy telling her descendants what was going to happen in the future.  She predicted the apocalypse and told us how to stop it.  I burned the second book, but not before I wrote down the important bits.  I’m not an idiot.”

“Oh.”

“Did Agnes mention demons at all?”

“A few times, but to be fair, you and Crowley are demons.  She might have just been referring to you, but I seem to recall something about ‘evil spirits’ and ‘clay vessels’.  That’s why I have these.  I made them in pottery class.  I didn’t know how many I’d need, so I went for a baker’s dozen.  The last two spooks will have to slum it in these milk bottles.”

There was a sudden gust of air that almost extinguished the candles surrounding the summoning circle and Crowley stood before them, eyes bright gold with panic and rage.

“What is it?” Dagon asked.

“Lilith,” Crowley spit.  “She ran outside the wards and was immediately snatched by three men in a black sedan.  They must have sensed her somehow and were waiting for her.”

“She makes some pretty major ripples,” Dagon remarked.

“Yeah.  I noticed that too.”

“Lilith?  Do you mean the mother of the ‘children of the night’?” Anathema asked sarcastically, forming air quotes with her fingers. “I thought I felt something.”

“She wasn’t anyone’s mother,” Crowley said dismissively.  “Demons are fallen angels.”

“But she is the first woman, right?  The one who left the Garden of Eden?”

“Yes.”

Anathema sat back on her heels as she surveyed the items before her.

“A lot of people say she was kicked out of the Garden,” the witch said simply, “but I don’t believe that.  I think God gave her a pass because Adam was an asshole.”

“Yup,” Dagon said quietly before she turned to Crowley.  “If Lilith was grabbed by men, that probably means the demons have possessed the humans.  Anything short of full possession is merely a suggestion.  It’s possible the demons might have conned the men into kidnapping her, but we’ll probably have to kill the humans.”

“I’d rather not do that,” Crowley said.  “I’ve spoken with the Supreme Archangel, and he is prepared to perform an exorcism, if necessary.”

Crowley rubbed his face, his expression grim.  He was very, very worried.

“I just wanted to fill you in and find out if you had anything for me.  Don’t give up, but assume that only 12 spooks are ripe for the picking.” 

He looked curiously at Anathema.

“Do you honestly believe you can trap a demon in a milk jug?”

“I do,” she answered haughtily, “but now it looks like I won’t have to.  I will tell you, however, that I can’t summon a demon who has possessed a human, but you can trap the demon with salt, iron or a sigil until you can perform the exorcism.  FYI. ”

“Thanks.”

Crowley vanished, and the accompanying gust extinguished two candles. Anathema huffed irritably and relit them.

“Ok,” she said.  “Let’s do this.”

---

Lilith sat between the two men in the backseat of the car, gripping her hands in her lap.  She should have been frightened, but she honestly didn’t have the life experiences necessary to have developed fear.  Hank was hugging her finger reassuringly as she hid his existence from her abductors.

“What do you want with me?” she asked, her voice steady.

“Shut up!” the shorter man on her right said gruffly.  “Don’t talk.  Just sit there and look pretty.”

“Where are you taking me?”

The man on the right drew back his hand as if to strike her, but the taller fellow on the left stopped him with a gesture.

“Listen to my friend,” he said in a chilling voice.  “Shut up.”

Lilith nodded and stayed quiet.  She was just beginning to understand fear.

It wasn’t long before Lilith became nauseated, but didn’t want to speak, so she was relieved when the car stopped.  She was yanked from the back seat and the sudden movement was too much for her tender stomach and she vomited violently onto the weed infested pavement in front of what appeared to be an abandoned storage unit.

“What the?” the shorter man said angrily, jumping back.  “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“She’s pregnant, you moron,” the driver said as he stepped out of the car.  “You didn’t notice?”

“What?  Knocked up?  We kidnapped a pregnant dame?”

The shorter man began to sweat.

The driver handed Lilith a napkin from his pocket to wipe her mouth, and helped her to stand upright.

“Are you well enough to walk?” he asked.

She nodded weakly.

“Don’t get too attached,” the taller man said.  “She’ll either be gone or she’ll be dead. Stay focused.”

The driver didn’t answer, but he understood.  The look on the tall man’s face told him that Lilith would likely be dead.  Nonetheless, he assisted her as they walked toward the abandoned building, and helped her to sit down on the cold concrete floor and lean against the cool wall.  Furtively, he took off his jacket and handed it to her, motioning that she should sit on it.  She smiled gratefully and he quickly turned away.

“So, where is he?” the short man said.  “He’s meant to be waiting for us.”

“Who knows with him, Ur,” the tall man said.  “He’ll get here when he gets here.  I suggest you don’t question him.”

“Have you met him?” Ur asked.

“Once.  It was enough.”

“Why does he want her, Phenex?” the driver asked.  “What good is some human woman to him?”

“Shut it, Sut!” Phenex whispered.  “It’s best not to speculate.  Just sit down and shut up.”

“Yeah, but nobody said anything about a pregnant woman,” Sut objected.

“I knew you were the weakest link,” Ur said with disgust.  “I should have left you in Hell.”

“Don’t worry about him,” Phenex advised.  “He’ll go right back down to Hell if he keeps asking questions. Asmodeus won’t tolerate it.”

“Asmodeus?” Ur said, alarmed.  “You didn’t tell us you were working for him.”

“Now that you know,” Phenex warned, “you’ll forget about it.  Who we’re working for isn’t important.”

Lilith pretended to sleep, but listened closely to the men.  Her skin prickled when she heard Phenex mention Asmodeus.  She had never met the demon, but the cruel man who used to visit her threatened her with Asmodeus.  He told her that the demon had lusted after her from the moment he saw her in the Garden of Eden.  If she cried while they were joining, the man would slap her and tell her that she should be grateful that it was he, and not Asmodeus, who came to her.  She clutched her hands to her breast and fought back the tears. 

Hank hummed comfortingly against her heart, and she stroked him gratefully, but she noticed his eyes were ruby red with rage.  He might not be able to kill all three men, but if one came near, he would make the others think hard before anyone approached her a second time.

“Sut doesn’t seem so bad,” Lilith whispered.  “He might help us.”

Hank hissed softly, but didn’t make any promises.

“Asmodeus has been on Earth for a while,” Ur grumbled.  “Why do we have to hang around some abandoned building.  Now, that we have bodies, we should be out there enjoying all the sins humans have to offer.”

“He came up here in his Hellish corporation,” Phenex said.  “He doesn’t exactly blend in, but that means he has his full powers.  He’s not limited by these puny vessels.”

“What are his powers?” Sut asked nervously.

“He’s the Demon of Lust, innut,” Phenex said.

“He’s also enormous and very strong,” Ur added, shuddering.  “I saw him fight another demon once.  There wasn’t much left of the other guy by the time Asmodeus finished with him.”

“You would do well to remember that!” a deep voice said.  “Do what I say, and maybe I won’t kill you.”

A shadow fell across the space as a huge, dark shape blocked the sun that had been shining through the doorway.  As he stepped out of the light, Lilith could see him, and it was as Ur had said.  Asmodeus was massive with bulging muscles and a brutal face.  In keeping with his vice, he was nude, with huge genitalia which should have been comical, but which were terrifying.  He was not beautiful like Crowley.  He did not tempt or entice.  This was not seduction.  It was lust and lust cried out for power, and what better way to gain power than to terrify?

Asmodeus lifted his chin, sniffed the air then turned to Lilith.

“Ah,” he said in a low rumbling voice as he walked toward her.  “There you are.  I’ve been waiting to meet you for a long time.  I felt you the moment you came back from your exile.”

“She’s pregnant,” Sut blurted out as he cautiously made his way closer to Lilith.

The huge demon turned toward Sut for a moment, and Lilith thought Asmodeus would kill him, but he merely frowned before approaching Lilith.

“You are pregnant?” he asked her quietly, partly curious, partly enraged.

“Yes.”

“Who?”

When Lilith didn’t answer, Asmodeus turned to the other demons. 

“She was with Crowley,” Phenex said. 

“Crowley?” Asmodeus asked hesitantly.  “Are you sure?”

“We don’t know whether he was the one who . . ..” Phenex said.  “We only know that he brought her back and took her to Earth.”

“If she was on Earth, why did it take you so long to get her?”

“She was in Soho under the protection of two angels and a demon,” Ur explained.  “They warded the entire street.  We couldn’t grab her until she left, but we were waiting for her, and got her as soon as she came out.  We left the pursuers in the dust.”

“When you say, ‘a demon’, do you mean Crowley?” Asmodeus asked.

“No.  It was Furfur.”

“Furfur?  He’s a joke.  He thwarted you for that long?”

“It wasn’t just Furfur,” Phenex explained quickly.  “There was an angel working with him.”

“Wait!” Asmodeus mused.  “You said she was in Soho? There was a bookshop?”

“I think so,” Ur answered.  “We could just see it from outside the ward.”

“Aziraphale runs that bookshop.”

“The Guardian of the Eastern gate?” Ur asked nervously.

“Not just that,” Sut said, still inching toward Lilith.  “He’s the Supreme Archangel of Heaven as well.”

Asmodeus froze and considered his options.

“I’ve always wanted to see whether I could take Crowley, but I could never goad him into a fight.  He was too busy on Earth.  Of course, Aziraphale is involved.  Those two have been together since the Garden.  I’m surprised he brought her to Earth.  Maybe there’s trouble in paradise.”

Asmodeus studied Lilith for several seconds. His carnal interest was obvious, and her eyes were wide at the sight of his arousal.

“It’s very possible that none of us are going to get out of this alive,” he said finally.  “I suppose I should make the most of it while I can.”

“You can’t!” Sut said as he stepped in front of Lilith.  “You’ll kill her!  No human would survive that.”

“You aren’t wrong there,” Asmodeus said as he walked slowly toward Sut.  “But I’m not looking for a relationship.  I’ve desired Lilith since the beginning.  I knew it would be a one-time shot, and I’m going to take it.”

“I won’t let you!” Sut said in a low voice.  “You’d kill her and the baby.”

“Please don’t do this for me,” Lilith whispered to Sut.  “You can’t stop him.  He’ll just kill you for nothing.”

“Not for nothing,” Sut responded quietly as he took a defensive stance.  “I can’t stand by and let it happen, but this isn’t completely selfless.  When he kills me, I’ll go back to Hell.  I never should have left in the first place, but at least I’ll slow him down.”

Asmodeus crept closer, watching Sut carelessly, but sizing up his opponent.  There was no telling how strong a demon Sut had been in Hell, but he didn’t stand a chance in the fragile human body.  He might be a little harder to kill than a human, but it would be no challenge.  Asmodeus considered toying with him, but knew his time was limited if Crowley and Aziraphale were looking for Lilith.  There was no place on Earth where they wouldn’t find her. With no warning, he snatched Sut by the collar of his shirt and slammed him into the hard pavement multiple times before he threw the limp body at Lilith.

Lilith cradled Sut’s head in her hands and placed it on her lap as she stroked his hair.  He opened one eye for a second before the body died and, with a piercing cry, Sut went to Hell.

“There is your hero!” Asmodeus crowed triumphantly, flinging the body away and stepping closer to Lilith. 

“That is what will happen to anyone who stands between me and what I want, and I want you.  Now, stand up!  Let me see my prize.”

Lilith struggled to stand.  Her knees were weak, and she was forced to lean heavily against the wall.  Asmodeus reached toward her and stroked her hair tenderly before grabbing a handful and yanking her toward him.

“Now,” he purred, pawing at her.  “What will we do next?”

“That’s an excellent question,” a velvet voice said from behind the huge demon. 

Asmodeus spun around, eyes wide, to see Crowley standing next to Dagon, who was holding the struggling Ur.  She snapped the fingers on one hand and disappeared with him, leaving only Crowley, Phenex and Asmodeus.

“Crowley!” Lilith cried pushing violently away from Asmodeus and scrambling out of reach.  “Oh, thank God!”

Crowley winced.

“Please don’t say that.”

Asmodeus took advantage of Crowley's distraction and leapt toward him, but Crowley easily eluded him.  Meanwhile, Phenex ran to Lilith and grabbed her in a chokehold, poised to break her neck.

“Give it up, Crowley,” he threatened, “or she dies.  I swear I’ll do it.”

Lilith reached up to grab Phenex’s arm and he jumped back with a cry, nearly knocking her to the floor.  She stepped away from him as he convulsed and howled in pain.

Crowley smirked at Asmodeus as he watched Phenex’s agony.

“Wha?  What happened?” Asmodeus asked, confused.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Crowley assured him.  “Although I do admit, he is a bit distracting.”

Crowley snapped his fingers, and the writhing body vanished, leaving nothing but a black mark on the concrete. 

Crowley regarded Asmodeus, who stared at him with rage and a hint of fear.  Crowley appeared calm, but his eyes shone with fury.

“Pity,” Crowley remarked.  “I wanted him to watch him suffer, but he was so loud.  Now it’s just you and me.  I could incinerate you, or kill you and send you back to Hell right now, but I don’t want to.  Not yet, at least.”

He circled Asmodeus, but didn’t approach him.

“I remember how you were always trying to pick a fight with me,” Crowley continued quietly, still circling.  “Sure, you pissed me off, but I always had something more important to do, and no time to waste on your bullshit, but as it happens, I have a little free time at the moment.”

“What was Dagon doing here?” Asmodeus asked, his voice cracking.  “Why would she work with you?”

“We’re the cleanup crew,” Crowley said dryly. “Well, us, a witch and an archangel, and you’re the last piece of rubbish to be collected.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t care.”

Asmodeus lunged for Crowley, who easily sidestepped the larger, clumsier demon and kicked him viciously.  Crowley was powerful, but Asmodeus was larger and very strong.  Crowley had no intention of brawling with the beast.

“You’re a coward,” Asmodeus bellowed as he stumbled past Crowley and landed hard on the concrete floor.

“If you say so,” Crowley said as he made a show of checking his fingernails while Asmodeus got to his feet.  “But I could have killed you three times already, and yet, here I am.  Giving you the chance to kick my ass.”

Asmodeus wrenched an iron pipe from the wall and heaved it at Crowley, who ducked, but not quickly enough.  The pipe knocked him halfway across the building, and it took him a moment to recover.  Asmodeus ran toward Lilith, who stood against the far wall.  She regarded him boldly.

“What was your plan for me?” she asked him sarcastically, pointing at his now flaccid penis.  “Were you going to do something with that?”

 The demon growled, furious and rushed toward her.

“I’ll kill you, you bitch,” he growled.  “Then I’ll fuck your dead body.  It’s all the same to me.  I always last longer than my lovers.”

Crowley was still a bit unsteady on his feet, but was smoking with rage and anxiety.  He gathered his power and prepared to smite Asmodeus, but the larger demon was too quick, and in flash, had Lilith in chokehold so Crowley couldn’t risk it. Lilith grabbed her captor’s arm.  Asmodeus immediately cried out, but didn’t release his hold, and Lilith's eyes began to bulge.  Crowley rushed toward her, worried that he might be too late and cursing his arrogance.  He should have obliterated Asmodeus immediately.  He would never forgive himself if Lilith were injured.

Lilith struggled against Asmodeus, and he yelled in pain a second time while his knees nearly buckled, but he still held on.  Lilith was beginning to black out when, seemingly from nowhere, a tri-colored snake slid over her shoulder, and sank his sharp fangs into Asmodeus’s throat until Lilith heard the crunch of the demon’s trachea.  Asmodeus released Lilith to wrestle with the serpent, who soon grew so large the grotesque demon was forced to his knees and slowly crushed under the weight.

Crowley gently took Lilith by the shoulders and examined her closely.  Her face was pale, and she was still gasping for air, but she signaled that she was fine and gestured toward Hank and Asmodeus.  Crowley studied them, trying to decide whether and how he should intervene, but there was no need.  Hank had wrapped his great, long coils around the demon, pinning his arms to his body and holding him in place as he lay writhing in agony on the floor.  The snake loomed over the demon and stared coolly down at him.

Crowley watched, eyes narrowed, but with no other expression.  Asmodeus was nearly paralyzed by Hank’s venom, his face red, and his eyes bulging as the snake slowly tightened his grip.

“You should be dead,” Crowley said.  “I mean, I’m not upset that you’re lingering, and you look very uncomfortable.  Are you uncomfortable?”

Asmodeus looked up at Crowley, his eyes fiery with hate.  Crowley sighed, then signaled to Hank, who released the demon and slithered toward Lilith, who tearfully embraced him. 

“I can’t let you live,” Crowley said quietly.  “If this body dies, you’ll go back to Hell to be imprisoned and tortured for all eternity, but I can’t take any chances that you’ll escape.  I just wish I could let this go on a little longer, but I can’t.”

Crowley made a small gesture with his right hand, and Asmodeus burst into flames and was gone.

“Did you really mean that?” Lilith asked as she rushed toward him.  “Did you really want to see him suffer?”

Crowley shrugged and took Lilith into his arms, gripping her as tightly as she held him.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly.  “Maybe.  He should never have touched you.  I have no idea how he got out of Hell in the first place, and I had to make sure it would never happen again.”

Crowley tucked Lilith's head under his chin and took several deep breaths, tasting her scent in the air.

“Are you ok?” he asked finally, holding her out where he could see her better. 

“I’m fine,” she assured him. “The baby’s fine. Hank took good care of us, but that demon, Sut, died trying to save me from Asmodeus.  He was kind to me.  I don’t think he knew what he was getting into when he left Hell with the other two.”

“Noted,” Crowley said seriously.  “I’ll take that into consideration when I decide his fate.” 

“Thank you.”

“Now, we are going to discuss why you left the warded area when I specifically told you not to.  Do you understand what could have happened to you?  Do you?”

Crowley's voice broke and his eyes were shining.  Lilith could hardly look at him.  He was angry, certainly, but he was clearly agitated.  It was starting to sink in for both of them what could have happened. Lilith clutched him tightly and sobbed, trembling uncontrollably.  He held her close and hummed reassuringly.

“Come on,” he said finally.  “Let’s get you home.  The Bentley is parked outside.”

“Did you drive here?”

“No, but once I told her where you were, there was no stopping her from showing up.  She is very, very upset with you.  She’ll let you ride today, but it might be awhile before she’ll welcome you again.”

“Really?”

“’Fraid so.”

The demon supported the exhausted woman to the Bentley, which despite Lilith's heartfelt apologies, gave her the cold shoulder all the way back to the bookshop.

“Bentley might be the least of your troubles,” Crowley warned.  “Muriel and Furfur are furious, and it takes a lot to piss off Muriel.”

“Oh, dear.  Can we just go back to the apartment?  I don’t think I’m ready to face them.”

“Sorry, but you have to.  What you did was outrageous.  Can you imagine how they would feel if you had been killed?  They would have had to carry that guilt with them, literally forever.  You need to make amends as soon as possible.  You don’t want to let this fester.”

“Ok.”

Crowley entered the bookshop first, with Lilith trailing slowly behind him, Hank draped over her shoulders.  Muriel immediately rushed up to her and hugged her.

“Oh, Lilith! I am so glad you’re safe! We were so worried!”

Then she paused and looked up at Lilith sternly.

“We were so worried!” she scolded.  “What if Mr. Crowley hadn’t been able to rescue you?  Do you have any idea how we would have felt if you had been killed?  I am very, very cross with you!”

Muriel turned her back on Lilith and marched stiffly to stand at Furfur’s side, who remained silent. The demon also looked very angry, but it was more because Muriel was upset than anything else.

Both Lilith and Crowley were surprised and dismayed to see Aziraphale at his desk, looking very disapproving, but forgiving.  He stood and walked to Lilith.

“I am so very glad to have you back, dear,” he said gently.  “What you did was wrong.  I hope you learned a lesson.”

Lilith nodded, but didn’t answer.

“Very good.”

He turned to address the demon who stood protectively by the young woman’s side.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said.  “I’d like to speak with you.  Would you join me in the backroom please?”

“Fine, but give me a minute.”

Crowley gestured to Lilith, led her into her bedroom and sat her on the bed.

“You stay here.  I’ll be back soon.”

“Are you going to Hell?”

“No. I’m going to speak with Aziraphale.  I’ll say goodbye before I leave.”

“But the spooks are gone.  Why do you have to go back?”

“We talked about that.  Just wait here.  I won’t be long.  I promise.”

Crowley quietly shut the bedroom door, followed the angel to the backroom and sat heavily in the chair he’d emptied the last time he was there.  Aziraphale also took a seat and conjured a cup of tea.

“So,” the demon asked. “What happened?”

“Anathema contacted me and said that she and Dagon had summoned and trapped 12 spooks.  Apparently, more than one of them was ready to go back to Hell.  I’m not sure what they thought Earth would be like, but it’s extremely difficult for the uninitiated.  Also, a couple were appalled at the things humans were willing to do to each other. Dagon took the vessels to Hell, and they are waiting for you to return to decide the demons’ fates.”

Aziraphale took a sip of tea and continued.

“There were no exorcisms,” he remarked pointedly, trying to keep his tone neutral, “and yet we believe the humans who kidnapped Lilith were possessed.  What happened?”

“Blame Hank.”

“Excuse me?”

“Hank was with Lilith.  If a demon got close enough, Hank would strike.  He bit one demon, and I sent the whole package to Hell to let them sort out the soul from the spook.”

“But there were three demons.”

“Four actually.  Asmodeus was the ringleader.”

“What?”

“I forgot to mention that Asmodeus was AWOL from Hell, but nobody could remember the last time they saw him, so they had no idea how long he’d been gone.”

Crowley conjured a glass of whiskey and took a sip.  Events were still too recent, and he needed a little fortification, although he wouldn’t let the angel see that.

“I’m sure you noticed when I brought Lilith to Earth,” he said. “She made enough noise.  Asmodeus got wind of it, and it turns out, he’s been lusting after her since the Garden of Eden.”

The demon took another drink of whiskey and willed his hand to stop shaking.  Aziraphale noticed the shaking and also that Crowley's eyes were fully yellow.

“Oh,” the angel said, trying to keep his voice steady. 

He knew exactly why Crowley was so upset.  No human could survive Asmodeus’s “attentions”, and death would be prolonged and agonizing.

“I don’t know if he tempted the spooks to Earth somehow,” Crowley continued, “or whether they found him when they arrived.  His stench is astonishing, so it wouldn’t have been hard.  Hank and I are still trying to get the taste out our mouths.”

To illustrate his point, the demon took a mouthful of whiskey and swished it around a bit before he swallowed it.

“Anyway, the spooks probably had no trouble tracking him down.  I assume he showed them how to possess humans and ordered them to stay near Soho in case Lilith ever left.  They were waiting for her the minute she stepped out of the warded area.”

“So?” Aziraphale prompted.  “There were four demons?”

“Right.  I wasn’t there for some of it, but I got some intel from Lilith.  The first demon was killed by Asmodeus when he tried to protect her, and the spook went straight to Hell.  Hank bit another when he attacked Lilith and I sent him Down.  Hank’s bites are lethal, but the poison is slow-acting and apparently excruciating, and the human wouldn’t stop screaming.  It was very distracting.

“Hank bit Asmodeus several times,” Crowley continued, “but the venom didn’t stop him right away, so Hank squeezed him into submission.  After that, I incinerated him.  I couldn’t afford to let him live.  I ‘cremated’ the human body to clean up the mess.”

“There is still one demon unaccounted for,” Aziraphale noted.

 “Right.  Dagon arrived the same time I did and took one of the demons.”

“Where did she take him?  The demon should have been exorcised from the human.”

“I have no idea.  I assume she took the body to Hell and yanked out the spook.  Maybe, she brought the human back up afterward.  Perhaps he wins prizes for his tropical fish. I don’t know, and honestly?  I don’t care.”

“Crowley!  That human may have been innocent.”

“Maybe, but I doubt it,” Crowley said, his eyes still gleaming.  “Why don’t you just tell yourself that Dagon returned the human to Earth as soon as she removed the spook.  You could ask her yourself, but she’s a demon, so she’ll probably lie.” 

Crowley drained his whiskey, miracled away the empty glass, and stood up.

“I have to go.  Lilith’s been through a lot, so I’m going to see her safely in her bed, then I’m going to Hell.”

Aziraphale didn’t say anything. He merely nodded and sipped his tea. He didn’t want Crowley to see how distressed he was.

“Ok,” Crowley said as he entered Lilith's bedroom, carrying a steaming mug with a spoon in it.  “I stopped by the kitchen and got you some soup.  You’re going to eat it and then you are going to rest.”

“Will you please stay while I eat?” Lilith asked in a small voice. “You know how I hate to eat alone.”

Crowley put the soup on the side table, then climbed into bed next to Lilith, forcing her to move over to give him room.  Hank grumbled as he was shoved out of the warm spot against her leg, but settled down after a few seconds, and the demon didn’t comment. The serpent had earned his spot on the bed.  Instead, Crowley put his arm around Lilith’s shoulder and handed her the mug of soup. 

“I’ll stay here while you eat,” he said gently.  “And I’ll lie with you for a bit before I go.  If you’re smart, you’ll go to sleep while I’m still here.”

“Thank you.”

Lilith sipped the soup.  She knew she should eat, but she honestly didn’t have an appetite.  She was still processing everything that had happened, and began to shiver.  Crowley pulled the blanket up over them and tucked it tightly around Lilith.  She leaned heavily into him and continued to take tiny sips of her soup.

“You’d think you’d be warmer,” she whispered.  “You’re a demon.”

“Imma snake,” he reminded her.  “Cold blooded.”

“Hmph.”

“How are you doing?” the demon asked after several minutes.  “You’ve been through a lot.”

“I don’t know how I am,” she answered.  “I don’t think it’s hit me yet.  I anticipate nightmares.”

“I’ll let Muriel know.  I believe she is very good at banishing nightmares.”

“I’d rather you be here.”

“I know, but I have work to do.  I hope it won’t take long and I promise I won’t go so long between visits.”

“Ok.”

The demon took the empty mug from Lilith and placed it on the side table.

“Now that you’re done with your soup, how ‘bout we relax and see if you can go to sleep?”

He slid onto his back, pulling Lilith down with him.  When she was comfortably draped across his body, he tucked the blankets over her shoulder and against her back.  He could feel the flutter of the baby against his ribs as it moved about.  Lilith winced and shifted a bit.

“Does it hurt?” he asked.

“No, but it’s distracting.  Will you purr for me, please?”

“What?  Imma snake.  Snakes don’t purr!”

“Hum?  Rumble?  I don’t care what you call it, it relaxes me.”

“I hum.  Now hush.”

Crowley pulled her close and began to hum.  It only took a few minutes for the sound and the slight vibration to lull Lilith to sleep.  Crowley noticed that the baby also settled down.  He smiled.  He might need that information after the baby was born.  He remembered how difficult Warlock had been at bedtime.  When he was sure Lilith was sound asleep, he slipped out bed and walked out of the bookshop to Hell.

---

“What do you have for me?” he asked Dagon when he entered her office.

“Mostly good news, I suppose.  We’ve accounted for all of the spooks.  Your witch was quite proficient.  We should be worried that she even exists, but she can’t summon a demon from Hell, so I guess we’re ok.”

“I found Asmodeus, by the way,” Crowley remarked casually as he took the seat across the desk from Dagon.

“Yeah.  I saw him.  Where is he now?  You didn’t lose him, did you?  He was an ass, but a good enforcer when he wanted to be.”

“I did not lose him. I incinerated him, so you could say that he’s nowhere…anymore.”

Dagon’s eyes widened and then narrowed.

“Oh,” she said.  “What happened?”

“He conspired with 3 spooks to kidnap Lilith for his own … purposes.  Apparently, he’s had a thing for her from the beginning.”

Crowley spoke casually, but his eyes were intense, and Dagon responded carefully.

“He was a loose cannon,” she said finally.  “It was probably best to eliminate the risk altogether.”

“That’s what I thought.  I’m glad we could see eye to eye on it.”

“Of course.”

Dagon rifled through her drawer as an excuse to take a few calming breaths.  She generally trusted Crowley, but those eyes were definitely a danger signal, and she thought it was a good idea to give him a little space.

“So, what do you want to do with the spooks we captured?” she asked after what she hoped was an adequate amount of time.

“What’s the mood down here?  Did Niya torture anyone?  Do we need to?  I always thought that was a waste of limited resources.” He shrugged, “but if it ain’t broke . . ..”

“Things started to get more manageable after Niya arbitrarily yanked some loudmouth out of the crowd and demonstrated her extensive skills with her bare hands, right in front of everybody.  She didn’t even need the implements of torture.  I heard she was very. . . innovative, and quite inspiring.”

“I’m sure.”

“I say we leave the spooks in clear jars so everyone can see them,” Crowley suggested.  “That might have a chilling effect on rebel speech.  Maybe I’ll feel like letting them out in a few thousand years, but I wouldn’t count on it.

“By the way,” he said as an afterthought, “a spook came down to Hell when Asmodeus killed his human body.  His name is Sut.  Lilith said that Asmodeus killed Sut because he tried to protect her.  I’ll want to speak with him, but unless I see a red flag, I don’t think we’ll need to keep him bottled up.  I might even offer him a promotion.”

“What?  He’s a traitor!”

“So, am I, remember?  He stood up to Asmodeus even though he knew he would die.  We need demons who can think for themselves in leadership positions. I think he has potential, but I’ll talk to him first.”

“Ok.”

“What do you think of Niya?  Do you think she would be good on the Dark Council?”

“She’s certainly blood thirsty enough.  I’m not sure how powerful she is, but she has a reputation which is almost as good.  I’ll check her out.”

“Do you think you have enough of a handle on this to allow me to go back up?”

“It’s close.  I’ll have Eric spread the story of Asmodeus, and then you can walk among them for a bit, looking like you did when you told me how you destroyed him.  That should scare the shit out of any demon.  Even so, it's probably going to take a while.”

“What?” Crowley was distracted.

“Your eyes.  They glow.  It gives me goosebumps.  I love it, but it’s terrifying.  Just think about Asmodeus while you’re out there.”

Crowley studied Dagon for several seconds and she began to regret the comment about Asmodeus.  She realized it wasn’t an appropriate topic for jokes.  She began to sweat.

“Fine,” he said finally, then he turned toward the door.

“Eric!!! Get your ass in here…NOW!”

Eric was at the door before Crowley finished shouting.  Crowley looked at Dagon and gestured toward the junior demon.

“Tell him.”

“Get out there and tell the demons that Asmodeus is dead, and that Crowley killed him.  He’ll be out shortly, so assemble the demons in the large cavern.”

“Right away.”

Eric ducked out the door again and Crowley turned back to Dagon.

“You took a human from the warehouse.  What did you do with him?”

“I brought him down here and extracted the spook.”

“What happened to the human?”

“He didn’t survive the trip.  I might have flown a bit recklessly in my haste to get back.”

“What did his soul look like?”

“It was black as night.  He was a nasty piece of work.  I’ll never understand humans.  They have all of the bounty of Earth, plus free will, and they’re just dreadful.”

“It’s ineffable, right?”

“Yeah, right.”

Eric stepped back into the office.

“Everyone is assembled, Lord Dagon.”

“Good.”

“How’s the turnout?” Crowley asked.

“Huge.  I estimate 100% participation.”

“Excellent.”

Crowley and Dagon followed Eric down the hall to the cavern where all of Hell’s demons were gathered.  Dagon went immediately to the dais, but Crowley made a point of walking from the back of the space through the throngs of bodies to the front of the room.  Each time a demon objected to being shoved or poked, it took one look at Crowley's face and stepped aside, often bowing. 

Only one demon pushed his luck, and even though he was larger by half, Crowley casually wrapped one hand around the demon’s throat and dragged him, choking and struggling, all the way to the dais.  Crowley didn’t stop squeezing until he reached the front, at which time, he carelessly tossed the semi-conscious demon across the room where he crashed into the far wall.

“Niya,” he said softly.

“Yes, Lord?”

Crowley paused for a moment.  That was the first time anyone called him “Lord”.  He wasn’t sure how he felt about it.

“Make an example of that one.  Make sure everyone gets to see the show, yeah?”

“Yes, Lord.”

Crowley looked at the crowd.

“Some of you rebelled.  Some went AWOL.  The spooks have been captured or destroyed.  The rebels are enjoying their time with Niya.”

He turned to Niya.

“Are there too many for you to handle on your own?  Do you need help?  Would you like to recommend someone?” 

Niya considered the question carefully.

“I would never say that I was incapable of fulfilling my obligations to you, Lord, but Moloch shows promise.”

She waved, and a gruesome demon walked out of the crowd.

There was a loud hiss and some groans among the assembled demons and Crowley noticed that Moloch was given a wide berth.

“You’ll do,” Crowley said simply before turning back to the room.

“I’m sure you’ve heard, but I want to confirm that Asmodeus is dead by my hand.  I’m not sure how many followers he still has down here, but I suggest you transfer your allegiance to where it belongs.  Dagon speaks for me.  Do you understand?”

There was a hush and the demons shifted uncomfortably.

Crowley's enormous black wings unfurled in a violent rush of wind.  His eyes blazed.

“DO…. YOU ….  UNDERSTAND?”

Crowley did not speak loudly, but his voice echoed throughout the cavern and likely to the farthest reaches of Hell.

“Yes, Lord!”

“Good,” he said, lazily waving his hand, smiling to himself when several demons in the front row flinched.  “Get the fuck out of here.  I’m sick of looking at your faces.”

Crowley walked out of the cavern, closely followed by Dagon and Shax, who had come in late.  Neither spoke until they reached her office.

“I’m going to need a throne room or something befitting my stature,” he said to Shax in a tired voice.  “See to it.”

“Yes, Lord,” she said, relieved to be submissive again.  She was not cut out for a leadership position.

“Now.”

“Right away, Lord.”

Shax scurried out of the room.

“You have this, right?” Crowley asked Dagon.

“Yeah.  I can hold down the fort for a while, but you know you’re going to have to make frequent visits.”

“I know,” he said, rubbing his temples.  “By the way, what exactly is my title?”

“Prince of Hell, of course.  You’re representing Our Lord Satan while is on sabbatical.  Congratulations.”

“That’s a bold choice,” Crowley remarked, casually.  “Who’s the new Grand Duke?”

Dagon grimaced and raised her hand.

“I’ll do most of the heavy lifting while you’re away,” she said, resigned.

“Great, but I need a space that is much grander than anything Beelzebub had. I want to make the right impression, and if I’m going to do this, I want to do it properly.”

“Right away.”

“Use Furfur as the messenger to Earth.”

“Of course.”

“I gotta go.”

Dagon bowed deeply.

“My Lord,” she said without a hint of irony.

---

Crowley carefully opened the door to Lilith's bedroom and watched her as she slept. After a moment, he stripped down to his shorts and carefully climbed into bed beside her.  She opened one eye and made room for him, pushing Hank out of the way in the process.  Luckily, it was a big bed.

“How long was I gone this time?” he asked because time on Earth and in Hell were different.

“Only a day and a half,” she answered as she draped herself over his body.  “I'm glad you’re back.  How long will you stay?”

“I think I can take a little time off,” he said into her hair.  “Even if I have to go down, I’ll try not to stay long.”

“Good.  Does this mean we can go back to the apartment?”

“Do you want to?”

“I’d like us to have our own space, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to spend time here with my friends.”

“So, you and Muriel made up, did you?”

“Of course!  She can’t stay angry with anyone, and I am sincerely sorry.”

She shuddered at the thought of what might have been, and he pulled her closer.

“That’s my good girl.”

Lilith giggled.

“I’m neither,” she joked.

“I love me a bad girl.”

She gasped.

“Really?”

“Don’t you believe me?”

“Prove it.”

“Are you sure? Because I feel like blowing off a little steam.”

Lilith put her finger over Crowley's lips.

“Maybe we should hold off until we have a little privacy.”

“Why?  Don’t you think you can be quiet?”

“I can be quiet!”

“I’ve never heard you be quiet.”

“Of course, you wouldn’t hear me be quiet, because I’m being quiet.”

The demon started nibbling Lilith's neck as his hand caressed her bare skin.

“I dare you to be quiet,” he teased.  “And to make it challenging, I’m going to do everything I can think of to make you squeal.”

“You are evil!”

“I’m the new Prince of Hell, so duh!”

Lilith sat up and stared at him.

“What?”

He pulled her down into a kiss, holding her body close.

“We’ll talk about that later, if you aren’t too tired.”

“Deal.”