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December 21, 2012
Sherlock was almost disturbed by John’s blue-grey eyes when he returned. Instead of the light and laughter he found there before “dying,” he saw a saddened hollowness. John’s subsequent actions further pained him. When John first opened the door to 221B he only showed slight surprise before smiling weakly.
“Oh… you’re back.”
Sherlock only furrowed his brow in confusion momentarily before taking John’s unspoken cue to come inside and out of the cold dark air. John shut the door behind him and quietly muttered “How long to you mean to stay this time?”
It took Sherlock a few moments before realizing that John thought he was an illusion and apparently one John has had before. He raised a hand to interrupt John but John only wrapped his arms around Sherlock’s waist.
And when John leaned in and kissed Sherlock. Well that threw everything off even more.
John stopped when he realized he was kissing a real man. His eyes grew wide as Sherlock smiled from under John’s lips. He wrapped his arms around John and held him close. The faint smell of coffee and disinfectant from the surgery filled his nose and his memory of his life with John before Moriarty and ‘the game’.
“You’re real?” he asked Sherlock. He didn’t break Sherlock’s hold. He just laid his head on his chest to listen to his heart. He was alive. His Sherlock was alive and here with him.
But his tone changed and before Sherlock knew it within seconds he still had John Watson in his arms clutching him and listening to his heartbeat but then his cheek was stinging and he was sure a Watson fist sized bruise was going to be forming on his face.
“You died!” John yelled as he shoved Sherlock away. A tear rolled down his face as Sherlock saw anger in his eyes. “I buried you! I stood there and watched them lower your coffin into a grave. It was you,” John stumbled back a little. Sherlock gabbed John’s arm and held him in a hug. “I mourned over a stranger…” John said as he looked at Sherlock.
“I know.” Sherlock whispered simply.
He was unsurprised when John finally broke his hold and ran up to his room. Sherlock spent a few minutes wondering if he should follow. He decided to let John sort it out on his own.
John managed to ignore Sherlock’s returned presence for all of twenty four hours before curiosity and anger got the better of him. He found Sherlock lying on the couch.
“Why?” John asked shaking his head. He knew he didn’t have to elaborate further on what he was asking about. He shifted Sherlock’s feet so he could sit on the couch as well He was unsurprised when Sherlock just put his feet on his lap.
Sherlock took a deep breath but didn’t open his eyes. “I had to. Moriarty had to be stopped and he would only kill himself if I did to. And then I had to follow through, he had snipers. Trained killers waiting to hurt you. Ms. Hudson as Lestrade,” Sherlock told him but John didn’t look surprised.
“I figured that out but why didn’t you let me know you were alive?” John asked looking into Sherlock’s blue-green eyes.
Sherlock sat up and took John’s hand. He had missed this hand when he was gone. How he longed for them to take his hand, it was a comfort to him. Sherlock knew that when his hands was in John’s that everything was going to be okay and that they would survive whatever they were going through together. “They needed to think I was dead and it wouldn’t help with you knowing. Though I knew that the situation and the outcome would pain you, I deduced that you would move on. That thought pained me.”
“Pained you?! Sherlock I…” John stopped yelling. His voice grew weak. “I was in a dark place and you were running around-” John paused, “I don’t want to talk about this.”
Sherlock watched as John grabbed his coat and left, presumably to go to the pub. Sherlock mournfully watched him go before returning to lying on the couch. He hadn’t dared move from the spot in fear of seeing evidence that despite John’s words, he had moved on.
John returned just after midnight and saw Sherlock still lying there. “Aren’t you going to go to your room eventually?”
Sherlock shrugged and John sighed, realizing what Sherlock was, at least partially, worried about. “Come on!” He grabbed Sherlock’s hand and yanked him off the couch. Sherlock followed, resigned that he would have to face the truth sooner, rather than later.
Sherlock was shocked when John opened the locked door and he saw that his old room was still the same. Nothing was touched. “The rest of your stuff in in boxes.” John said as he stood in the doorway. “I’m going to um turn in.”
Sherlock nodded his head as he watched John leave. He was wondering if this was the right idea to come back or not.
The next few days were long and awkward. Neither of them knowing that to really do. Sherlock was working on clearing his name. John was just working to make rent. As well as Christmas was coming up and John was trying to think of what they were going to do.
“Do you want Chinese for dinner?” Sherlock asked as John looked up from his computer. “I was, well thinking of getting dinner.”
“Sure. The usual?” John asked as he looked back down to the screen.
“Yeah.” Sherlock told him. John was warming back up to him being back at 221B. The fact that he accepted his food offer was a step in the proper direction.
John sat in his office and thought. He thought about a lot of things, most of them revolving around Sherlock. What was he going to get Sherlock for Christmas? Should he even get him anything? He was mostly worried about that kiss he gave Sherlock when he thought the taller man was just an illusion. It had been nearly 3 days since the incident and Sherlock hadn’t said anything. He couldn’t even ask Sarah what to do. No one could know Sherlock was alive until they cleared his name.
“You okay, John?” she asked looking at him. John looked up from his coffee that he had yet to take a sip of. They were working together on the late evening shift on Christmas Eve. Sarah looked worried as she covered one of his hands with her own. “You have been out of it for the past few days. Please come with me on the Holiday.”
“No, I’m just.” John paused and thought. “There is a lot going on and I haven’t been getting much sleep.” Sarah looked at him and took the lie. She knew there was more going on than what John was leading onto.
“Okay.” Sarah said leaving it at that.
When John got home from work he smelt smoke. Running into the kitchen he looked like a defeated Sherlock. “What the hell is going on?” he asked.
“I was um… trying to make dinner,” Sherlock said looking at John. “But I over cooked the pasta. I burned the sauce and the bread is black.”
John wanted so much to be upset with him but all he could do was laugh. Sherlock brushed his hair away from his sweaty brow and looked puzzled at John and his face broke the stoic look and his lips curled.
“What?” Sherlock asked. John took a deep breath to try and stop from laughing. “John what is so funny?”
“You.” he said as he walked over to the stove. He turned and looked at Sherlock. “Why don’t you clean up, I can change and we can go to Angelo’s for dinner.”
“Really?” he asked.
“You eat at three restaurants and you obviously wanted Italian so I can deduce that Angelo’s in the place to go.” John told him. “Your face is looking better.”
Sherlock smiled out of the side of his mouth as he walked back to the bathroom to get cleaned up. He heard John head up to his room. It took exactly 2 days before John stopped with the cold shoulder. Sherlock could tell John was still somewhat resentful at him. But he was laughing again. He was making progress.
Sherlock and John stayed at Angelo’s well into the morning hours on Christmas day. Angelo was delighted to have his favorite customer back and after they swore him to secrecy, he let them stay as long as they wished.
They walked back to Baker Street, taking advantage of the surprisingly warmer weather. John smiled as he looked up at Sherlock. “So why did you really try to make dinner? You never attempted to cook before.”
“I wanted to do something nice for you.” Sherlock stated, staring at the traffic lights up ahead.
“Really, Sherlock?” John laughed. “Sentiment?”
“It was for Christmas.”
John sobered up. “I thought you would have deleted such a holiday.”
Sherlock shook his head. “No. I enjoy Christmas.” Sherlock reached down and took John’s hand from where John had buried it in his pockets in an attempt to keep warm. “Do you remember the night I first showed you 221B and Lestrade came in saying there was another body? I distinctly remember saying that it was Christmas. It would have been an easy observation.”
John shook his head. “We’re not all as observant as you. Besides, you weren’t happy when Christmas rolled around that year.”
“You brought the boring teacher with you. It would have been much more enjoyable if it was just you and me and Mrs. Hudson.” Sherlock squeezed John’s hand.
“Alright. I’ll keep that in mind then.” John laughed as he squeezed back. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you be happy over anything that wasn’t a dead body or a case. Let me guess, it’s the presents you like?”
Sherlock only smiled vaguely and they continued to walk on in a comfortable silence. Just as they were about to turn the corner to Baker Street Sherlock halted John’s progress. “Actually John, there is something that I do want for Christmas.”
John tilted his head in question. “Yeah? What’s tha-“
He was cut off when Sherlock descended his lips on John’s. John was shocked momentarily before eagerly kissing back, removing his hold on Sherlock’s hand to clutch at the lapels of his coat.
This kiss went on passionately for sometime before Sherlock broke the kiss hesitantly. “Happy Christmas, John.”
John smiled and pushed his forehead to Sherlock’s. “Happy Christmas, Sherlock.” John then grinned. “Got your breath back?”
Sherlock smiled. “Ready when you are.”
They took off running to 221B as it finally started to snow.
~~~
January 21, 2013
Between Mycroft, John, Lestrade and Sherlock they managed to clear Sherlock’s name and he was finally back in action at crime scenes. He was more than thrilled, John had mixed feeling but the looks on Sally and Anderson’s face showed they were a tad dismayed. This brightened John’s mood considerably.
“Why is the freak back?” Sally asked.
“Because he’s been cleared of all investigations and charges, including the idea that he is a freak,” John grumbled. How long he would be back for was the question that John kept asking himself. As well it was the question he was most fearing to find the answer to as well.
Sally looked at him as they walked under the yellow caution tape. “He will always be a freak.”
They made their way to where the body was. Anderson was just getting done doing whatever he did. He had already made a few comments about Sherlock being back and John had had just about enough. “I don’t understand how John can just keep following the freak around. He-” But Anderson was stopped short as John left fist punched Anderson breaking his nose.
“Blood fucking hell!” Anderson yelled as his hand tried to stop the blood that was running out of his nose and down his face. John pushed him up against the side of the building wall. Anger was racing through his body as he looked at Anderson. He was the part of the reason Sherlock was gone for so long.
“He’s not a freak. Call him that again and I promise you I will permanently disfigure your face!” John hissed. He let Anderson go and he moved away from John and over to get something to stop his nose. Sherlock walked up from behind John, putting a hand on his shoulder and kissing him on the side of his face.
“Thanks,” Sherlock whispered to him. He realized that by doing this it let John know he cared and wasn’t leaving. He could tell in his eyes and his body language at times he was distant and fearful of letting Sherlock back into his life 100%. But he was getting there.
“You’re welcome,” John said to him. They stood there and watched Anderson go and tattle on John as if they were six year old boys.
“Did you see that?! He hit me!” Anderson yelled.
Lestrade shrugged. “Didn’t see anything. Looks to me like you ran into a wall.”
Anderson’s face dropped as Sally marched over. “Sir! Watson did punch him.” She piped in.
Lestrade shrugged again as he looked at Donovan. “Now you are seeing things, Sally? Must get you two checked out.” As they tried to protest with Lestrade, John turned and looked at Sherlock.
“Are they blind? You kissed me and they didn’t even notice.”
“Sometimes with idiots it’s best to be blunt,” Sherlock replied as he looked at John. He kissed him hard on the lips and copped a feel on his arse. John giggled as he kissed Sherlock.
Anderson stopped, his hand full of blood but he couldn’t keep is eyes off of what was going on. He even might have lost a few brain cells. “But… wait I’m confused.”
Lestrade raised an eyebrow. “I’m not.”
~~~
April 21, 2013
“Sherlock!” John yelled. Sherlock ducked as John grabbed his gun and shot the Italian hit man in the chest three times. He fell back as Sherlock stood up and smiled at his boyfriend. “Cutting it close there?” John asked a bit breathless.
“I knew you would kill him,” Sherlock said as he walked up and kissed John on the lips. “You always are saving me Doctor Watson.”
“You always seem to need saving,” John chuckled back as he heard the sirens of the police cars approaching. Sherlock rolled his eyes he wanted to enjoy this moment with John but Lestrade now had rules when they were on a case. It was mainly to keep Anderson and Sally from bitching.
“They seem to be getting slower and slower,” Sherlock rolled his eyes as he slapped John’s arse as he walked toward the flashing lights.
“You know what this means,” John said as he jogged up next to Sherlock. “Since I saved your life.”
“Oh yes,” Sherlock said smiling. “I know exactly what it means.”
~~~
June 21, 2013
“Sherlock what’s with you? Why are we here?” John asked. He began to fear the worst. He had been broken up with enough that it felt that this is where it was heading.
Sherlock looked at him, his face turning a little white. Sherlock took his hand and smiled. “It’s tradition apparently to celebrate an anniversary. It’s not exactly January but it will make due.” He explained John as they walked further into the room. John was still confused as to what the hell Sherlock was talking about.
“We’ve been dating for just under six months and we started in December. Why are we in a lab?” he asked him looking around as Sherlock placed him at the end of the long lab tale and Sherlock walked over to where a microscope was.
“It has been exactly six months since I returned to you after being forced to make one of the stupidest decisions of my life in this room.” Sherlock explained shortly. He nearly stopped when he saw John’s eyes beginning to tear up but he pressed on. “And it’s just shy of four and a half years since we met each other. In this lab.”
John looked around and chuckled. “Sentiment? Really Mr. Sherlock Holmes, you?” John asked as he walked up to Sherlock.
“I knew you would enjoy this,” he said wrapping his arms around John. His hand running down as it grabbed his arse. Their lips pressed against each other as they kissed. How both of them wanted to do this so many years ago. “I’m not leaving John.” He promised him.
~~~
August 21, 2013
John moaned as he curled into a ball in the bed he and Sherlock now shared. He hated the flu. John heard the door open and then shut. The bed dipped down and he felt something cold on his head.
“Come here,” Sherlock told him his voice was calm and soothing.
John opened his eyes to see Sherlock sitting there in his pajamas and dressing gown with a wet wash cloths on his head. “I don’t want you getting sick,” John moaned as he felt like he was going to die. Sherlock looked down at him and didn’t move. John was mid roll when he stopped. He felt as if he was going to die right there in the bed.
“I don’t mind. This is what you do when you love someone John.” Sherlock explained to him matter of factly. John didn’t know if it was the fever talking or if Sherlock had said those words.
He smiled as his stomach began to act up again. “I love you to,” John said closing his eyes trying to keep his insides from starting a revolution and leaving his body. John rolled over to feel Sherlock lay down next to him. He lifted his sweaty blue stripped pajama shirt and began to rub his back as he placed the wet wash cloth on the back of his neck.
“I mean it John,” he said as he took his hand. “I love you.” he squeezed it three times, once for each word.
John smiled and replied with four squeezes. “I love you too.”
~~~
October 21, 2013
John gasped and panted as Sherlock collapsed on top of him. He raised an arm to wrap around the tired detective. Sherlock grunted as he shifted to lay on his side. “We should shower.”
“In a minute…” John said sleepily. There was a knock on the door and then came the banging before it was opened. John turned his head and looked up at Sherlock. “Who did you piss off now?”
“Drugs bust!” Lestrade’s voice called out from the bottom floor of 221B.
John groaned as he laid on his back. “Never mind… what evidence did you withhold?”
Sherlock shrugged. “Could be anything really…”
John rolled his eyes. It was a rare occasion they had made it up to John’s room. Only some of his belongings were still in the closet in his room as he was in the process of moving his things down to Sherlock’s room but both he and Sherlock got distracted. “Well better get down there then,” he told Sherlock as he rolled over the sheets tangled in their bodies and he kissed Sherlock on his lips.
Sherlock looked at John. “Um John… I think I- well we left our cloths down there.”
John rolled over onto his back. His face growing bright red. “Oh dear….”
A few moments later they heard Lestrade leave and they got a text from him. He had decided that he was never doing a surprise drug bust ever again. At least not without calling Mycroft first.
~~~
December 21, 2013
Sherlock kissed the back of John’s neck as his naked body wrapped around John’s also naked body. “Happy one year,” he purred into John’s ear.
It was Sunday. They didn’t have a case; or if they did Sherlock had ignored all the pleas from Lestrade to come in. No, today was their day. Just the two of them.
“Nearly.” John said. “We didn’t really get together till Christmas.”
“I was counting since the first time you kissed me. Though I’m all in favor of just celebrating throughout the whole week.” Sherlock said against John’s neck. John hummed in agreement and pulled Sherlock’s hand to his heart.
“Are we just going to have a lie in all day?” John said as he kissed Sherlock’s thin hand. “I love that idea but I am a tad hungry.”
“Angelo dropped off food. Let’s shower you can eat and then I plan to shag you till you black out,” Sherlock said to John. They each took turns showering and then getting non soiled pajamas on. John made Sherlock then eat some food with him. They cleaned up there dishes, headed to the couch and had a bit of a snog before Sherlock presented John with a gift. John blushed before taking Sherlock’s own gift from its hiding place. (Sherlock had already correctly guess where it had been hidden but decided not to investigate because of John’s delight at the thought of keeping a surprise from Sherlock.)
Sherlock handed John his present. John smiled as he pulled out a leather bag. It was a deep chocolate brown and on the corner there was his name stitched on there. Dr. John H. Watson. “Your old bag is rubbish and I feel you still will want to keep working there sometimes,” Sherlock told John trying to play off that he had put a lot of thought and time into the gift.
“It’s wonderful,” John said as he kissed Sherlock gently on the lips. He then handed Sherlock his gift. Opening it up he was it was an old edition of an Anthology of Poe’s Poems and Short Stories. “I know you love Poe so when I was down in Cardiff I stopped into this antique shop and I stumbled across this.”
Sherlock opened up the book and then he looked up at John. “John this is an original.” He said shocked and taken back knowing this must have cost him a mint.
“I know. But I was you, and knowing that you would love something I didn’t mind spending the money.” He explained as Sherlock sat the book down on the coffee table and pulled John on top of him.
“I love you,” he said to John in a whisper.
“I love you to you big nutter.” John chuckled as he kissed him on the tip of his nose.
~~~
February 21, 2014
John debated between being amused and exasperated at his lover. Sherlock had decided to come with him to the Super Market and instead of walking beside John, he had climbed into the trolley, pulling his long legs close to his body, his coat wrapping around him. He sat their looking at John, waiting for John to push him.
“Sherlock,” John said as he looked as a few people stared at them. “You can’t. Where am I going to put the groceries?” he asked him.
“Around me. Now I need to observe,” Sherlock told him as he put his hands in his famous prayer position and began to look around his eyes moving back and forth.
John shook his head; he didn’t even know why he asked anymore. Putting his hands on the handle he pushed the trolley. The eyes of the other shoppers didn’t seem to bother him all that much anymore. “Honestly,” he said almost to himself. “It’s a good thing we don’t have kids.”
~~~
June 21, 2014
Sherlock huffed on the couch. He and John had had a major row before he left for an evening shift at the A&E. Sherlock looked up at the clock. John should have been home by now. Rolling over so he faced the living room Sherlock waited. He lifted his head as he heard the front door open.
John’s steps were slow as he walked up the steps. When he walked in he dropped his medical bag down on the ground. He shrugged off his coat and then crawled onto the couch with Sherlock. “I’m sorry,” he said as wrapped Sherlock’s arms around his body.
“I was wrong,” Sherlock admitted to John as he kissed the back of his neck.
“I don’t... I’m sorry,” John said as he looked up at Sherlock and kissed his jaw line. Sherlock could tell that something must of happened at work. His breath was heavy and he could tell he was upset and wanted to talk.
“John what happened?” Sherlock asked. He was still new to the expressing your emotions. But Sherlock was able to read John. And after the row they had he knew something bad had to have happened to make him act like this.
“Work. It was a bad day… I’m sorry for what I said. I don’t want to fight like that again.” Sherlock held John close as he talked. “I was at work and there was a man. He got into a horrible car accident and his partner was there and when he died he was so distraught for they had a row before he got into the car... I don’t want that to happen to us Sherlock. It reminded me of what I said before--,” John cut himself off and rolled over, burying his head into Sherlock’s chest.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he said kissing John on his temple.
“You’re not allowed to leave.”
Sherlock put his chin on John’s head. “I’m yours now. I can’t leave.” He promised him.
~~~
August 21, 2014
It had been a year and 8 months and John still had reservations about the relationship. Rightfully so. But it was hard for Sherlock to grasp why he still had the fear of him leaving. Or getting bored. Despite Sherlock’s near daily reassurance.
Sherlock couldn’t understand John’s need for that reassurance. If Sherlock was going to leave the first time why would he even bother to come back like he did? But instead of dwelling on that he tried to think of ways to show and express to John to make him understand he was staying. Forever. It got to the point when Sherlock broke down and went to Sarah’s flat to ask her.
Sarah wasn’t sure either what Sherlock could do but she offered up her own experience she had. “You know I thought for sure Jeff was going to leave when we found out that we couldn’t have children of our own. I always thought they were the most important thing….”
Sherlock was shocked. There were very few things that took him by surprise by the news Sarah told him actually did. He had deduced neither Jeff no Sarah wanted to have kids mainly since they were both doctors and were busy.
“You just need to do things to remind him that you love him,” Sarah continued as she took a sip of her tea.
Sherlock looked at her puzzled. He showed John many times how much he loved him.
“A note. Get his favorite candy and watch a film he loves with him. Things like that,” she went onto explain to him. “Sherlock, it’s not just you when it comes to this fear. It was the war that did this to him. He was like this long before you ‘died’. Okay?”
He nodded as he finished off his tea as Sarah looked at him knowing he didn’t fully understand but he was doing his best to try.
~~~
September 21, 2014
“So why are we undercover?” John asked looking at Sherlock.
“Because despite being cleared of charges my face is still familiar.” Sherlock explained to him.
“I know that. But why blonde?”
Sherlock looked over at John. “Do you um... like it?” he asked. He was willing to make the change. Sure it was odd to wake up in the mirror and see what was supposed to be blonde but had a slight ginger tint to it hair.
While thinking of how to reassure John he was staying Sherlock had though back to his previous relationships and realized that besides Sarah and the boring teacher (her name still escaped him) John always dated blondes.
“Well,” John said as he looked at Sherlock. “It’s different. But I do love your naturally dark curly hair. Makes you more… mysterious. But if you want blonde than be blonde.”
Dye hair back to black. Sherlock made a mental note and stored it in the area of his mind palace that was just for John. He took his partners hand as they walked into the daycare center.
~~~
December 21, 2014
John looked over at the sleeping Sherlock who was in their bed. After being a relationship for two years they had decided they could transform John’s old room into a lab for Sherlock. John just wanted a kitchen that had no stray body parts in them.
John took a deep breath in. It had been two years, as he looked at the clock. It was 1am. Two years since Sherlock walked back into his life and he had stayed those two years. “Stop,” Sherlock mumbled. John smiled he hated how he could tell when he was thinking. Sherlock rolled over and engulfed John in his arms. “What do I need to do?” he asked John.
John said nothing as he kissed his sleeping lover on the lips. “This.” He said sleepily as they laid there. That was all he wanted.
“John.” Sherlock said not opening his eyes as he talked to him. “Why did you take your dog tags out… is this when?” Sherlock asked.
“No.” John said. “I just needed to clean them.”
Sherlock nodded his black curls moving as he did so. “I read that soldiers give their dog tags to their partners.”
John chuckled as he buried his face into Sherlock. “Maybe one day my love.” John said as he began to drift to sleep.
Sherlock smiled. He was okay with waiting. He would wait for years till John was ready. He wasn’t going to leave. Ever.