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“Hi, I’m Tomoda.”
It was the first day of school and Tomoda was feeling slightly nervous. He didn’t know anyone and these ‘get to know you’ activities weren’t helping. Thankfully the boy in front of him now looked just as convinced about how effective this practice was.
“Hey, I’m Shujinkō.”
They stood awkwardly for a second and Tomoda felt his appreciation for the boy grow. After another moment of awkward silence they both laughed.
“Nice to meet you, Shujinko.” Tomoda smiled and they shook hands happily.
~~
Shujinko walked towards him, as he always did in the morning. They had been meeting up every day just before class for the last three weeks. It had been good, getting to know this guy. They’d become quick friends. They were close enough now that Shujinko was even starting to ask Tomoda for advice on girls.
“Tomoda, can I ask you something?” Shujinko asked, as they got to the classroom.
“Ask me anything.” Tomoda replied, in his usual chipper tone.
Shujinko grimaced at his tone, “Do you think Kaori likes me?”
Tomoda laughed, “Still torn up about that mistake you made yesterday?”
“Would you like me after that? Besides I told you not to talk about it!” Shujinko glanced around and Tomoda continued to laugh.
“Don’t worry about it. From what I’ve heard around she’s totally got the hots for you.” Tomoda reassured his friend, still chuckling.
“Good.”
Shujinko slunk down into his seat in relief as the teacher walked in and they both turned their attention to the front. Tomoda smiled, he liked that he could help out his new friend and put his mind at ease. It made him feel needed.
~~
Tomoda reached for his ringing phone, wondering who it could be. He really should have known it could be none other than Shujinko. He’d been planning on asking that Kaori girl out today.
“Tomoda!” Shujinko yelled down the line the moment Tomoda accepted the call. “Tomoda something terrible happened!”
“Did you make the same mistake again?” Tomoda chuckled. He’d heard this tone of voice before and he knew it was nothing serious.
“We’re not talking about that!” Shujinko snapped.
“What happened then?”
“Kaori said yes.”
Tomoda had to play that last sentence back in his head once or twice. When he understood he cheered, punching the air.
“That’s good news. Why are you so worried?”
“What are we meant to do, Tomoda?”
Tomoda understood Shujinko’s predicament now. The poor guy had been turned down three times already by other girls and he hadn’t been expecting Kaori to actually say yes. Tomoda laughed heartily into the phone.
“Calm down. You can use the movie tickets we got and take her to see that new flick this weekend. I hear she likes action movies.” Tomoda suggested, after calming down slightly.
“But we were meant to see that.” Shujinko protested.
“Do you want to go on a date with a pretty girl or not?” Tomoda teased, “Take the tickets, enjoy the movie, I’ll see it another time.”
~~
Tomoda wasn’t sure when his feelings towards Shujinko shifted, he just knew that they had. When Shujinko met him at the gate every morning it honestly made his day better. Spending time with his best friend made him happier than he could believe.
He almost blamed Shujinko for this change in feelings. If he didn’t talk about girls so much maybe Tomoda wouldn’t have ended up wondering what it would be like to be one of those girls, admired by his friend. Maybe he wouldn’t have wondered what it would be like for Shujinko to forget them all and just be happy with him.
He was a boy though, not one of the bubbly fairer sex. Nothing he did could compare to what they could offer. So Tomoda just kept offering help, kept giving advice, kept being there for his friend. He hoped Shujinko wouldn’t notice the lingering looks and sometimes bitter way he spoke certain names. He hoped Shujinko wouldn’t realise that Tomoda was falling for him.
~~
He did his best not to look disappointed on the day Shujinko arrived at school with Kaori. He tried hard not to glare when Kaori had insisted it wasn’t like that when Tomoda knew damn well that was what Shujinko wanted. He’d give Shujinko anything and this girl wouldn’t even admit she was walking to school with him because she liked him? Ridiculous.
And when Shujinko snuck out of the holiday inn with that same girl Tomoda managed to keep his smile up until they’d left the room.
“I’ll cover for you, just go, leave it to me.” Tomoda insisted.
“Sure, Tomoda? I don’t want to get you in trouble.” Shujinko had worried.
“Go!” Tomoda had cried out softly, shoving Shujinko’s arm. “Get out of here.”
He hadn’t cried when Shujinko had left, smile on his face, but he had been sad. He wished that smile was for him. He wished he and Shujinko were sneaking out instead of Kaori. Stupid girl!
~~
They were at a train station when Kaori had started to cry. Tomoda hadn’t really been paying attention to the conversation, he wasn’t really involved anyway. Apparently Shujinko had said something to upset her though.
“Shujinko you’re a big idiot!” She yelled, tears falling down her face, “I don’t know what I was thinking!”
“Kaori!” Shujinko called, arms reaching out for her retreating form as she ran away from them.
Tomoda wondered what he’d missed. “Hey, is she alright, what did you do?”
“Made that mistake again. Were you even paying attention? No she’s not alright. Why would she been when I keep called her my best friend’s name.” Shujinko sighed, “She is correct about one thing.”
Tomoda cocked his head, “What do you mean?”
“What was she thinking being with me?” Shujinko let out a defeated sigh. “I am an idiot. I never know what to say. If it wasn’t for your help I wouldn’t even be dating her.”
The comment hurt Tomoda in a way that Shujinko couldn’t have known. He shook his head. He could let this go. This could be the end of Shujinko and Kaori. It might not mean he would have a chance with Shujinko but he’d stop having to see them make kissy faces at one another and maybe that was worth it.
But Sujinko looked down trodden. He looked depressed. And what kind of person would Tomoda be if he let his friend be miserable for his own selfish reasons. Tomoda shook his head again. This was going to suck, but it had to be done.
“You can’t give up.” Tomoda said, turning to his friend and balling a fist, “You like her, don’t you? If you’re truly a man then go, you idiot!”
Shujinko blinked at him. Then he rubbed his forehead, thinking through Tomoda’s small outburst.
“You’re right. If I don’t go after her that would be the stupidest thing.” Shujinko stepped forwards and pulled Tomoda into a hug. Tomoda was grateful for the embrace as it put his face out of Shujinko’s line of sight. “You’re the best, man. I’ve gotta run.”
This time, as Shujinko ran off, after Kaori, Tomoda really did cry. He couldn’t feel sorry for himself though. Like Shujinko said, this was all his fault.
~~
Tomoda started avoiding Shujinko after that. When Shujinko wasn’t busy talking to Kaori he noticed his friend’s absence. When questioned about it Tomoda simply deflected the question, saying he was busy.
Shujinko had teased for a bit, asking if he’d gotten a girlfriend without telling anyone. Tomoda had yelled at him for that and they hadn’t spoken since. It really was odd and Shujinko wondered what was up with his old friend.
It had been a month since that day and today was graduation. Shujinko watched as everyone took their turn on stage and cheered loudly when it was Tomoda’s turn. When it was his turn on stage he looked into the crowd for Tomoda’s face but Tomoda wasn’t looking at him.
It had really hurt to be so ignored by what used to be his best friend. They had been so close. Spent every moment together. When they were with one another it made Shujinko happy in a way no one else had ever made him. He was so used to being around his friend that he was often calling girls by Tomoda’s name. When he had talked to Kaori about it she had gotten a sad look on her face.
“You really are an idiot aren’t you?” She’d asked.
“Why do you say that? What did I do?” Shujinko whined.
“It’s pretty obvious if you ask me. You’re always asking him for girl help, always hanging around with me.”
“What’s that got to do with anything, friends talk about girls and you’re my girlfriend.”
“He loves you, Shujinko. I think you’re the only one who hasn’t noticed.” Kaori sighed.
It shocked him. He’d never thought of that, never considered the possibility. Was it true? If it was then Shujinko knew he had been inexplicably cruel. He always went to Tomoda with girl problems. And Tomoda always helped him out. If Tomoda had loved him then how painful would that have been?
He had to go see him. This was his last chance before Tomoda disappeared to some university and they never saw each other again.
~~
When Shujinko approached Tomoda felt his heart sink. This was bound to be fun, better get it over with.
“Tomoda, I need to talk to you.” Shujinko had said.
“Congratulations on graduation.” Tomoda said, deflecting the question of avoidance before it could leave Shujinko’s lips. “Those three years just flew by, didn’t they?”
“Yea they did. But Tomoda-” Shujinko started.
Tomoda took a deep breath. After this he didn’t plan on seeing Shujinko again. It was easier to run away to a college than live so close to his one true unrequited love. But he could see that it was hurting Shujinko, the way he’d been steering clear, his coldness recently. Could he really leave that as Shujinko’s last memories of him?
“I’m glad I got to be your friend.” Tomoda said, as sincerely as he could. He put his every feeling behind that sentiment, “Really glad.”
“Don’t say that like a goodbye.” Shujinko muttered.
“Maybe it is? I don’t know how often I’ll be able to get down from school. We won’t be seeing much of each other now.” Tomoda said, holding back his tears.
“Won’t be-”
Shujinko cut off before he could finish his sentence and lunged forwards. If Tomoda hadn’t had his guard down from the sweet moment they were sharing he might have jumped back. As it was strong hands came up behind him and firm lips met his.
The kiss was short, a sweet peck, but it meant the world to Tomoda. That moment felt like an eternity and a blink all at once. All his dreams and his worst nightmares realised in a second.
“Kaori?” Tomoda said, mind too blank to find other words.
“Isn’t you.” Shujinko replied, “I love you more than any of those girls, Tomoda!”
“B-but, I would be perfectly content making you happy.” Tomoda stuttered.
“Tomoda.” Shujinko muttered, pulling Tomoda in for another kiss, “You make me happy.”