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"Well, that was fun." Menogias commented.
The geo yaksha retracted his hand, and Xiao allowed himself to breathe once more.
"You win." He readied his polearm. "Let's go again."
"Again?" The older yaksha raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you tired?"
"I am not."
Menogias crossed his arms. "..We should take a break."
Xiao bit his lips, looking down at the polearm in his hands.
"Fine." He relented. "...To be considerate of your condition, of course."
"Of course."
Menogias only shrugged, making his way down to the little roofed gazebo on the side of the field where they had sparred. He poured himself a cup of water, and then poured one for Xiao, too.
"Are you going to keep standing there? You should drink first," The geo yaksha offered, sitting in the shade.
He took the cup gingerly in his hands. "Thank you."
Xiao took a seat across the taller yaksha, placing his polearm beside him. He sighed for a moment. It had been a rather hot day, after all, and the sun shone brightly in his eye. That must've been why he lost so quickly- he hadn't been out for a while, and sun was distracting. Xiao resolved to improve on that.
He inhaled deeply.
"How was it?" He asked.
"Hm?"
"Myself," The anemo yaksha gestured at himself. "The spar. How was I?"
Furrowing his eyebrows, Menogias frowned, seemingly considering. "...Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
Xiao inhaled deeply. "I would like to hear your honest opinion."
The geo yaksha tilted his head with a thoughtful gaze. "Well, I mean- as far I'm concerned, you're doing fine, Xiao. especially since you've only just got better."
Xiao clenched his hands. That was... not unexpected, if he were to be completely honest. After all, he had missed training for a few days. It would only make sense that his martial arts would have regressed in quality over time, and his body's less-than-stellar constitution certainly did not help.
He had been trying, of course- to preserve his skill level as it should have been, to quickly improve after the loss and decline- but it wasn't enough, apparently.
It was disappointing.
"So it really has worsened, huh."
Menogias paused mid-sip. He slowly raised his head, blinking in bewilderment.
"...What?"
The younger yaksha shook his head. "Nothing. It's not important. I'll work on my skills and become a worthy opponent for our next spar."
Xiao refused to let incompetence fester within himself. What sort of yaksha would one be if one could not perform their duties as a yaksha should? He was already Yanwang Dijun's disciple. The least he could do was act accordingly, lest he would ruin Dijun's reputation with his actions.
"...Xiao, you were sick."
He crossed his arms. "That's not an excuse."
"What makes you think that?" The older yaksha shot back. "Wait, don't tell me- have you overexerted yourself already for this? Was this why you've been requesting spars with me and the others, lately?"
It was, but Xiao was not about to say that out loud. he hadn't been winning, after all.
"Of course not." He stood up, swiftly picking up his weapon once more. "We spar all the time, anyway. I'm fine, brother. I am not so fragile as to crushed down by mere wind."
"That's not what I meant, Xiao. Would it not be better to let yourself recover instead of risking another bout of illness from tiring yourself out?"
"I am recovered," The anemo yaksha insisted. "I should be."
Menogias stared at him skeptically. Xiao ignored him.
He tigtened his grip on the polearm, preparing his attack. "Shall we?"
Standing across from him, Menogias bowed, and then struck.
The geo yaksha, was, of course, as effective with catalysts and magic as he was deadly. For someone with such a refined taste, he certainly did not bother with aesthetics when it came to battle. Menogias's geo contructs and projectiles were solid and simple- he was much less showy than Dijun was.
Xiao avoided his geo stones, his smaller stature making it easier for him to dodge. He deflected them with his polearm, directing them back to the other yaksha with his anemo. He gritted his teeth. His opponent was too far- it was difficult for him to attack from this distance. he needed to get close. Xiao may have advantage with the power of the wind allowing him easy swiftness, but Menogias's qinggong was not to be underestimated either. His steps were light and Xiao knew he would quickly grow tired if this were to remain.
Ducking yet another flying projectile, he leapt on one of the constructs that had erupted from the ground, using that as high ground to throw himself up higher. He called upon the power of anemo, directing him above menogias, and then, accumulating his cultivation on his weapon, plunged downwards with great force.
Menogias resisted.
He formed a makeshift geo shield to deflect Xiao's barrage of attacks. Regardless, he had managed to break the geo yaksha's metaphorical wall. Xiao narrowed his eyes. He struck. Menogias leapt over him, and Xiao dodged, just in the nick of time. He growled in frustration. He musn't let Menogias force him back again. Turning around, he swung his polearm aggressively above him. Menogias dodged, going for a kick, the movement of his foot forming a huge arc. He avoided it.
No time to overthink it. From then on, Xiao pushed vigorously with a series of successive strikes of the polearm. He moved forward, leaving Menogias to stand on the defensive. He parried Xiao's attacks without fail, sneaking in punches and hits. He needed to find an opening, and Xiao was as persistent with his offense as the geo yaksha was with his defense. He was close, he could just-
There.
As Menogias prepared another hit, Xiao flipped his polearm over. Before his opponent could react to the motion, he used the hilt of his weapon to push back Menogias's oncoming fist. Catching him off-guard, Xiao shoved his taller figure back with the palm of his hand in an anemo-infused push.
Panting heavily, Xiao attempted to settle his breath. His limbs felt stiff. Was he already tired? The anemo yaksha shook his head- he shouldn't let his guard down now.
His opponent's sharp, calculating gaze met his own. He was a good distance away. It seemed like he had pushed him with too much force.
Menogias's hands closed into fists. Xiao too, readied himself once more.
They ran towards one another.
Xiao jumped, leaping over him, and prepared for a plunge attack. Menogias evaded. Xiao redirected his strikes. Another opening, there- he deflected a geo projectile that came from behind, and aimed directly at Menogias's waist- He could end it now, if only he kept his focus. That was all he needed to do, Xiao couldn't let anything else distract him from his aim. Focus, focus, with all the power on his hands- Just as he struck-
The geo yaksha sidestepped.
In a split second, he caught Xiao's polearm in his hands, and then, as he twisted it, leapt right above and behind him- in a fraction of a second, Menogias's hands were inches from his neck.
They both went still, with only the sound of heavy breathing filling the air.
Xiao shut his eyes tightly for a moment, and then opened them with a deep exhale.
"I yield." He conceded.
It was a feint, a deceptive manouver, and Xiao hadn't seen through it- so he had taken the bait.
Of course, he had lost. Again.
Menogias released his hands, and Xiao sighed, clenching his test as he caught his breath.
"Are you alright?" The geo yaksha asked, concerned.
Xiao only nodded, standing taller. "Fine."
"Good, good."
He twisted the polearm in his hands- they felt a bit sore, by now, but he'll manage. "Let's go again."
"... You're joking."
"I am most definitely not."
"Xiao, you're already out of breath."
"I'm fine," He insisted. "I- I can prove it to you, if we go again."
"The previous sparring session has clearly taken much out of you." The taller yaksha frowned, incredulous. "You might just collapse."
"I won't."
"You've only just gotten better! Xiao-" Menogias pinched his eyebrows, "Okay, we're not doing this."
He blinked. "What? brother-"
"No."
"Brother, I really-"
"Stand down, Xiao."
Xiao's eyes widened.
It's-
"Dijun." Menogias dipped his head.
He heard the very familiar tap-tap-tap of Morax's footsteps from behind him. The pace was slow, almost agonizingly so.
"Menogias," He greeted, his calm voice betraying nothing of his emotions. "Xiao."
How long had he been here? Had he been watching them all along? Xiao didn't sense him at all- was his awareness truly that compromised? Then again, Menogias didn't sense him either, it seemed- so maybe he'd been shielding his presence. Maybe it was nothing.
Xiao turned around to face him, bowing deeply as he spoke. "Shizun."
He felt a hand stop him midway.
Morax smiled, serene. "There's no need for that. You've both been sparring, I presume?"
The field was in quite a state, Xiao noticed- geo constructs and stones and spear marks everywhere. There were empty patches in the grass where he used his anemo infused attacks.
"Yes, Dijun- myself and Xiao..." Menogias answered, "Although it seemed like it would a good time to stop for now."
"I assure that I'll be fine, Shizun," Xiao insisted.
Menogias shot him a look. "It would be best to take breaks, especially if one is currently in recuperation-"
"Truly, brother, I-"
"Will you walk with me, Xiao?"
He and the geo yaksha froze.
"I-" He blinked, "A walk?"
"Mm."
Perhaps his shizun had been there all along- a walk?
It would be terribly impolite to decline, as much as Xiao felt like he wanted to crawl into a hole, at the moment.
"My apologies." Menogias said, after a moment. "I must have let my anxieties get the better of me."
Morax chuckled. "No worries- I won't say I disagree with you... I would also like to apologize, though- I would be stealing your sparring partner for a while, it seems."
"This yaksha does not mind at all, Dijun."
"Well, Xiao?"
His head snapped up. "Yes?"
"A walk, what do you say?"
"Ah- Of course, Shizun."
It was terribly awkward.
When he said walk, his shizun really did mean just that, in the most literal manner possible. Walk. They've just been walking around, all afternoon. There was something nagging him in the back of his mind- Xiao knew that Morax wanted to talk, and that he had been waiting. Waiting for Xiao himself to start the conversation. His shizun wasn't the type to push- he could play the waiting game just as well. He would not force the words out of him, but he would not remain without answers, either.
Xiao knew him well enough to know that there was an impending conversation coming today. He just... didn't know what was coming. Was is a scolding, perhaps? That he had been losing? That he wasn't competent in his martial arts, lately? Morax had high standards when it came to martial arts- he didn't get the reputation for nothing.
Had Xiao already disappointed him?
He couldn't let this linger- the anticipation was killing him, and he needed to continue training.
Xiao inhaled a deep breath, and steadied himself.
"Shizun."
Morax paused in his steps. "Hm?"
"You wish to speak to me?"
He smiled. "I do, indeed."
Xiao lowered his head.
"This yaksha... Apologizes, shizun. I was incompetent. Please allow myself go rectify my mistake." He said, guiltily, as he clenched his polearm.
Morax has done much for him, has shown him mercy and saved him and yet he couldn't even do this one thing he expected from him?
Xiao readied himself to be reprimanded.
"... Raise your head, Xiao."
He did.
"How are you?"
Xiao stared. "I... What?"
"How are you? How do you feel? Please be honest with me, Xiao."
"I... I am better. Shizun."
The geo archon furrowed his eyebrows. "That's good to hear. Is your body sore anywhere?"
He... wouldn't be able to lie to Yanwang Dijun, anyway, so Xiao chose to simply be honest.
"... My hands," The anemo yaksha admitted. "And my legs. It... I would not let this happen again, shizun. I apologize."
"Why?"
"... Shizun?"
Morax tilted his head. "Why are you apologizing? It's not like you've done anything wrong."
"I did not keep up with my training- and so my skills had declined. I was unable to claim any victory, thus unfit to perform my duties as a yaksha. That was my mistake."
"... May I ask you a question, Xiao?"
"I- of course, Shizun."
Morax hummed, closing his eyes. "If I were to fall ill, Xiao- would you find me incompetent?"
Xiao gaped disbelievingly. "Of course not, shizun! Such would be utterly disrespectful!"
The geo archon stopped, then, mid-stride- and then turned to look at him.
"Then why would that make you anly less competent?"
The anemo yaksha fell silent.
"... One such as myself should not dare be equated to you, shizun."
Morax sighed.
He walked towards the side of the small pathway they were on- and then, with his geo magic, summoned and fashioned two boulders into makeshift benches.
"... Let us rest for a moment, Xiao."
He took the seat next to the Archon, still holding up the weapon.
For a short while that felt like an eternity, neither of them said a word.
"I watched your spar from the beginning, you know." Morax began, eventually.
"Ah..."
"You claim that you've lost far too many times, yet how many can say that they could hold up on their own in such a fight, in such a state? How many could keep themselves standing, even? You mentioned it yourself, that your hands are sore and your legs are sore and yet you are still able to push yourself to move forward. That you claim to feel better, but I know you well enough understand that better does not mean best- or even good- and you can still hold up- losing or winning does not matter, Xiao- it was exceptional."
Xiao looked up at his shizun, confused.
"... Exceptional?"
That was... A compliment?
"Yes. Exceptional. Exceptional, because to be unwell and yet still perform such feats was where otters would fall back, was, without a shadow of a doubt, so incredibly and utterly difficult. Exceptional, and yet..." Morax closed his eyes, letting out yet another sigh. "Why did you do it, Xiao?"
He seemed.... Resigned. Almost sad, in a way.
"I just... I couldn't let myself falter, shizun. After all that you have already given me..." His voice trailed off, "I wish not to be a burden."
Morax only nodded, and the anemo yaksha looked away, opting instead to stare at the horizon.
"Understood."
His mind flashed back to those dark years, those days where he had been nothing but an enslaved soldier, and that moment of light, when Morax had chosen to spare him, to give him a name and offer him a place to stay.
Xiao has never felt such kindness before.
Suddenly, he felt a hand on his head.
"Xiao," asked his shizun, "what do you believe is a yaksha's worth?"
"A... Yaksha's worth?" He repeated, bewildered at the question.
"Mm. When you look at... Menogias, for example. Or Bosacius. What about them, do you find valuable?"
Menogias, Xiao recalled, was incredibly skilled with the catalyst, so difficult difficult to defeat because of how quick-witted he was in battle. He was also a great designer- often, he contributed in Dijun's clothing designs. Bosacius was the strongest of them all. He was a jokester, at times, cheerful, and yet perceptive. Willing to take the blunt of the fight- not that they'd let him, of course.
They were kind to him. Brothers.
Xiao told his shizun all of that, and the corner of Morax's lips had quirked upwards.
"A yaksha's worth is so much more than just their duty," He said. "And so is yours, Xiao. Your worth is... much, much more than simply the duty that you can perform. Falling sick isn't something one should beat themselves up for. It is only natural that one cannot remain at their best state at all times. Even I..." He cleared his throat, "Even I can get caught under the weather, sometimes."
"I find that hard to believe, shizun."
Morax laughed lightly, "It's true, though... I was informed that I have a tendency to be rather... Ah, hypocritical, about this. I too, need reminders, at times. That being said... "
"Shizun?"
"Though your skills are exceptional, Xiao- really, they were- there is no need for you to prove yourself of your worth."
"I wasn't...
"No?"
Xiao thought back to the spar earlier- to Menogias's words and his own brash remarks... and how guilty he felt, to have himself be caught like that. And perhaps had to acknowledge, that he had been rather stubborn, hasn't he?
He hugged the polearm a little closer to himself.
"I... understand."
Morax huffed, sounding proud as he rose from where he had been sitting.
"Acknowledging it is the first step. I believe you already, Xiao. Old habits die hard, but I wish not for you to hurt yourself, or overexert or risk yourself- I suppose, in this regard I must apologize to you as well."
Xiao blinked, taken aback- he's been doing that a lot, today.
"I- what for?" He blurted. "There is nothing to apologize for, shizun."
"Well, I... certainly hope that I haven't made you feel like you are in anyway lesser for being unwell."
"Not at all, shizun- none, truly."
"Ah, well...As you are my disciple, it is my responsibility to make that clear, after all. We must both work together to make it work. Still- please know that it is fine- no, encouraged- to rest when one is not healthy."
"But-" He bit his lip, "If I am unable that do my tasks well- would it not risk your good name?"
"Why would that matter? My reputation is not as important as your well-being, and it's not so easily tarnished, either, if that still causes you concern. It is alright, if you may be unable to perform your tasks as normal- recovery takes process. I'll be here to help you, just as you and the adepti have stood by my side. Let's... take small and steady steps, shall we?"
Small and steady steps.
Yes, Xiao could do that.
"I will...do my best, Shizun."
"Thank you, Xiao. So will I."
"Did you know why I had taken you in as my disciple?"
Xiao stood a little straighter. "I had much to learn from you."
"...While it is true, that I have much that I could teach you, that is merely half the reason. You're very skilled, Xiao, truly exceptional, once again. but for all that one could learn, there are also things that one must unlearn."
"Unlearn?" He parroted.
"It would be in bad faith if I simply did not acknowledge what you must have had to go through, in the past- but that does not define you either."
The pain, the despair- it was all so very different, compared to now, but still so real in his head.
He'd be dead if not for Morax. "...You have shown me mercy."
"I took you as my disciple, because I hoped that one day, you shall be able to see your own worth, Xiao. That your golden feathers shall shine brightly under the light, no longer hidden and buried underneath dirt and ash. You're no burden, Xiao. Never a burden."