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Chapter Text

Early August 2022 - Pre-Season Training
Ted’s Third Year at AFC Richmond

Ted started his third season coaching at Richmond the same way he had his second, with a series of team-building games.

“Coach!” Jamie called. “Why’s the craft box out ‘ere?”

“Well, Jamie, that's because a few weeks back, Coach Beard, Coach Roy, and I,” he gestured at the two men standing next to him. “We took a look over some of the suggestions y’all gave us after last year’s team building, and we're happy to announce that we brought all the supplies you’ll need to make team posters. And since y’all are competitive, this year we're introducing a trophy.”

He held up a small plastic trophy that had probably cost him next to nothing but still prompted a loud cheer from the assembled players. No new people were on their team this year, so everyone was in on the madness from day one, even if the team-building itself was new to Jamie.

“Alright, alright, simmer down,” Ted laughed. “Now, these teams have been picked entirely at random, so I don’t wanna hear any complaining.” He paused for a few moments to allow the team to mutter unhappily.

“Oi! He said no fucking complaining!” Roy shouted, and they quieted.

“Thank you, coach,” Ted said. Roy grunted in response and he continued, “When I call your name, come up and grab whatever supplies you want and go sit with your team. You’ll have fifteen minutes to make your signs before we start. Everyone got it?”

There were cries of “Yes, coach!” and one very enthusiastic whoop from Dani.

“And don’t leave the fucking tarp!” Roy yelled.

Colin was wondering when they were finally going to acknowledge the giant fucking tarp in the middle of the pitch.

Beard jumped in to explain, “Unless you want the groundskeepers to kill you.”

The group collectively shivered and Ted beamed. “Thank you, coaches. All right now. Team one is Winchester, McAdoo, Goodman, Roberts, and Zoreaux. Team two is Cockburn, Maas, Rosenfeldt, Reynolds, and O’Brian. Team three is Kukoč, Hughes, Tartt, and Dixon.” Colin stood and high-fived his teammates as Coach continued talking. “Team four is Montlaur, McCracken, Rojas, and Bhargava. And finally, team five is all the rest of you; De Maat, Obisanya, Babatunde, and Bumbercatch.”

Sasha, Jamie, and Arlo were certainly not the worst team, but they weren’t the best either. They had a decent shot at victory, but only if they put their best foot forward.

“Alright, lads.” Jamie grinned. “What should we call ourselves? I wasn't here for this last year, so let's make it good, yeah?”

“The Killers!”

“Something with fire!”

“The Fire… Men?”

“Aha! The Fire Killers!”

“Sounds good to me. Lads?”

“Perfect.”

“I’m good.”

“Fuckin’ mint, now let’s make a poster that makes all the other posters our bitch!”

“Yeah!”

Fifteen minutes later the sound of a whistle brought everyone’s attention back to Coach Lasso, and the chatter quickly died. “Alright, folks. Why doesn't everyone show off their posters? Team one, you’re up first!”

Isaac stood, and with the gravitas and ceremony he brought as their captain, he slowly raised the poster. “We’re the Lightning Kickers!” His teammates cheered loudly and everyone else booed, Colin joining in. Today Isaac wasn’t his best mate, he wasn’t even his teammate, he was the enemy.

“Settle down, settle down. Team two, you’re next!”

Jan Maas stood and, with an expression so deadpan anyone who didn’t know him would assume he was joking, said, “We are the Ravishing Death Sluts.” His team cheered, and the rest of the pitch remained silent.

“What the fuck, mate?” Jamie called across the pitch once they’d died down.

Jan Maas tilted his head in confusion. “It is the most accurate name we could think of.”

Murmurs of confusion echoed across the field until Roy yelled, “Alright, fuck it, WHISTLE. Team three, go!”

Jamie sprung up like a psychotic jack-in-the-box and yelled, “Go team Fire Killers! Whooo!”

“Team four,” Beard called.

Dani stood up and beamed at them all. “Yes, Coach! We have decided to be called the Reformed Cat Enchiladas!”

Another round of confused murmuring filled the field. From his position lounging on the tarp, Richard added, “If you cannot tell, we had a very difficult time agreeing on a name.”

Everyone made vague sounds of understanding and Ted nodded. “Now, our last group, team five, you’re up!”

Sam stood, looking decidedly uncomfortable. “I did not vote for this name, but we are the Carnivore Pirates.” Moe’s grinning face made it clear who had come up with that particular one.

“Alrighty then,” Ted said, scribbling something on his clipboard. “Let’s get started then. Coach Beard, take it away!”

“Listen up! There are three games, the team that does the best at each game gets ten points, second place gets five points, third place gets one point, and fourth and fifth get nothing. Each game has multiple rounds you can use to gather points. The team with the most points at the end wins!” The footballers erupted in cheers.

Game 1

The first game of the day was charades. Each team was allowed to use whatever strategy they wanted to give themselves the best chance of winning, so the Lightning Kickers decided to start with Colin and Jamie acting out the words, while Sasha and Arlo guessed. The coaches handed out five folded-up slips of paper marked ‘easy words’.

The first two words didn’t go very well. The word was ‘alligator’, and the guessers only got out ‘stapler’ and ‘crocodile’, before Ted blew his whistle announcing a point went to team Lightning Kickers. The second word was ‘dance’, but two seconds into the round, the Reformed Cat Enchiladas had already clinched it.

The next round went to the Fire Killers, ‘skip’, followed by the Carnivore Pirates, ‘football’, then the Fire Killers again with ‘kick’. Unfortunately, the next two rounds quickly ruined their hot streak and they earned no points for any of the medium or hard words.

Determined not to go out on a bad note, they came back strong in the final two rounds, winning one of the two extra-hard words and the bonus idioms round.

CURRENT SCORES
- Fire Killers: 21 Points
- Ravishing Death Sluts: 14 Points
- Lightning Kickers: 12 Points
- Reformed Cat Enchiladas: 10 Points
- Carnivore Pirates: 4 Points

Game 2

Colin had never heard of the second game that they were supposed to be playing, but the goal was for each team to hold a poster board with a varying number of holes in it depending on the difficulty of the round and try to keep a ping-pong ball from falling through to the ground for longer than any of the other teams.

It was a simple fact that their team (read: Jamie) was extremely bad at the game, and left the several rounds having earned no new points, knocking them down to second place.

CURRENT SCORES
- Lightning Kickers: 30 Points
- Fire Killers: 21 Points
- Ravishing Death Sluts: 21 Points
- Reformed Cat Enchiladas: 20 Points
- Carnivore Pirates: 4 Points

Game 3

The third and final game was by far the team’s favourite. Over the break, they’d each been given a list of questions to answer, and the game was trivia consisting of all their answers. There was a mix of facts and quotes.

“The most bizarre text this player’s ever received from a fan is ‘Respectfully, you look like a Pokemon. On an unrelated note, would you go on a date with me?’” Roy read out, his resting angry face and voice making it all the more amusing.

The pitch burst into snickers, but they quickly faded away as each group fell into heated whispered debate. Colin smirked as he whispered the correct answer to his team. He and Isaac were well-versed in each other’s weird fan interactions, both in person and online.

“Time! Boards up!” Roy yelled, and all the whiteboards shot up. They’d quickly learned that a delay was a quick way to disqualify themselves from the round. Beard looked around the pitch, making marks on his clipboard. He turned to Roy and nodded. Roy nodded solemnly back, turned to the team, and yelled, “The correct answer is Isaac McAdoo!”

The Fire Killers walked away from the first round with two points, the best team having earned three and the worst team having earned just one. It wasn’t as good as they’d hoped, but there was still time.

A grinning Ted read out, “The cringiest thing this player’s ever put up on social media is an unironic ‘Live, Laugh, Love’ post.”

“I feel like I’d remember that,” Arlo said, staring off into the distance. “It must be before they were on the team.”

“It’s gotta be Sam.”

Colin nodded, “It doesn’t really seem like him, but no one else makes any more sense.”

“Time! Boards up!” They waited in tense anticipation…

“The correct answer is Jamie Tartt!”

They all turned to glare at Jamie, who didn’t look nearly as ashamed as he should be. “To be fair, I remember now, and it was during my reality TV stint, and I was pretty pissed that whole time.”

“‘Live, laugh, love’? Really?” Colin said, exasperated.

Jamie shrugged. “I stand by it. ‘S a good motto.”

They all groaned, but there was no more time to linger on it as they shifted to the next question. “If someone wrote a book about this player, it would be called ‘My Life in Cheese’.”

They all turned and stared at one another blankly; so it definitely wasn’t any of them. “Maybe… Richard?” Colin offered, unsure. “I mean, cheese and wine go together, yeah?”

Arlo frowned. “Then wouldn’t his have wine in the title?”

Jamie tilted his head, looking deep in thought.

“I’d guess Moe, it’s just random enough to be him,” Sasha suggested.

Jamie nodded. “Yeah, make ‘s much sense as anyone else.”

“And you’re sure it’s not you?” Colin asked.

Jamie threw his hands up. “Come on-”

His complaint was cut off by a loud, “Time! Boards up!”

“The correct answer is Tom O’Brian!”

“Fuck!” Sasha cursed, and they all stared at him in shock. He frowned, “I do curse, guys.”

After their horrible showing in round two, where they managed to not earn even a single point, team Fire Killers was determined to dominate in the third and final round.

“This player thinks the most annoying qualities a person can have is being boring and unpassionate.”

Colin had to double-check with himself that he’d heard correctly. Of all the questions, his had been picked for the final one. That was a lucky draw if he’d ever seen one. Chances are they’d walk away from this round with two points instead of just one, just so long as every single other team didn’t get it correct.

Carefully controlling his body language so the other teams wouldn’t notice his excitement he hurriedly whispered, “It’s me!”

Arlo scribbled it down as Jamie said, “That’s great luck, mate.”

“Time! Boards up!”

“The correct answer is Colin Hughes!”

FINAL SCORES
- Ravishing Death Sluts: 40 Points
- Lightning Kickers: 37 Points
- Fire Killers: 25 Points
- Reformed Cat Enchiladas: 24 Points
- Carnivore Pirates: 16 Points

Mid-August 2022 - Pre-Season Training
Ted’s Third Year at AFC Richmond

The dressing room filled with excited chattering after Jamie called the critics ‘poopeh’, but Colin was only half paying attention as he turned on his phone and checked his messages. His notifications started normal, but then he saw the text from Michael.

MICHAEL
- It’s a shame more people can’t appreciate just how funny this is.

His eyebrows furrowed and he clicked the notification, opening up their chat and finding the text had a link attached. He clicked on it, and it redirected him to an article titled, ‘Zero Games Played and Richmond Already Seen Bottoming: See in Image Below, Colin Hughes Enters Manhole’.

It took every ounce of self-control he had to not break down in laughter in front of all his teammates, who would definitely push to know what was so funny, and some of whom would likely put the pieces together if he showed them.

COLIN
- It was cruel to send this while I’m at practice.
- I can’t laugh right now
- I think holding it in might just be the cause of my early death.

MICHAEL
- Death by laughter.
- There are worse ways to go.

COLIN
- This is my greatest accomplishment.
- I’ll clear out all my trophies.
- Don’t need em anymore.
- Ill just hang this up instead.

MICHAEL
- If your getting rid of the trophies, can i have them.
- Micht help me impress the ladies.

COLIN
- Oh, yes.
- The many ladies will be awed by the many trophies with another man’s name.

MICHAEL
- To prove my epic straightness, Ill just tell them that youre the football player seen entering a manhole. And, oh my! Here’s some proof in the form of a handy dandy article :)

Colin glanced around the dressing room, double-checking that no one seemed too interested in what he was up to. A couple of the lads were lovingly harassing Jamie about his pronunciation of ‘poopeh’, and Isaac and Sam were in deep discussion about some sort of deep-fried… oyster? and everyone else had already cleared out. He looked back down at his phone with the barest hint of a smile.

COLIN
- God, i love you

He went to power off his phone, just in case. But just before the screen went dark, he caught a glimpse of the reply.

MICHAEL
- Love you too babe

Late August 2022 - Pre-Season Training
Ted’s Third Year at AFC Richmond

Colin’s phone rang right as he was about to pull out of his parking space in the club’s lot. Seeing it was Michael, he picked up with a bright, “Hey, love.”

“Bad news, babe. Work needs me in Dubai tomorrow. Big emergency with the customer.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I know we had plans.”

“When do you leave?”

“First thing tomorrow morning.”

“Can I come over now?”

He could hear the smile in Michael’s voice. “Yeah. Should I make dinner or do you wanna order something?”

“Best not. We’ve got a new nutritionist in this season who’s even stricter than Roberts.”

“Yeah?”

“She kept going on about our bodies being temples, and that somehow means eating next to nothing that actually tastes good.”

“Uh, that’s… unfortunate.”

“Yeah. I’ll probably just eat one of the premade meals, but you should eat whatever you want, especially since you’re travelling tomorrow.”

“I’m feeling lazy, so it’ll probably just end up being a sandwich.”

“Okay. See you soon. Love you.”

“See you in a bit. Drive safe, love you too.”

It only hit Colin once he was pulling into Michael’s driveway, that he’d neglected to stop by his house and grab a spare change of clothes. This particular fashion crisis stemmed from the fact that he didn't keep any clothes at Michael’s house.

His initial refusal to let Michael keep anything at his house and vice versa had hurt his boyfriend, but he'd since grown to understand the logic behind it. Colin’s house was the one piece of his personal life that he could show his friends, and he didn't want to risk any of them stumbling across anything they shouldn't be seeing or be forced to block off areas of his house to them. And while he could always hide things, he wanted his friends to hang out in his house without feeling anxious they would find something the entire time they were there.

With the heightened risk factor and the incredible rareness of the two of them spending any time there—Colin only really stayed there when Michael was travelling for work and Michael himself hadn’t been there in well over four months—it made sense in the end. In addition, Michael’s friends didn’t know he was dating anyone, and they wouldn’t let it go if they saw any trace of Colin left around his house.

Colin walked up the steps and unlocked the door, slipping quietly inside and quickly taking off his shoes. After being enthusiastically greeted by Casserole, he called out, “Michael?”

“Kitchen!”

He walked into the kitchen just as Michael was pulling one of his meals out of the oven. He smiled and waited until it was closed to walk up next to him and kiss his cheek. “Hey. Thanks.”

“It’s nothing.” Michael shrugged, smiling as he pulled off the oven mitt. He turned to face him and pulled Colin into a proper kiss, which he quickly melted into. When their stomachs finally won out over a good snog, they disengaged and made their way to the table to settle in for dinner.

The Next Morning

Colin woke up to an empty bed and checked the time on his phone. His alarm was set to go off in two minutes. Knowing there would be no point in trying to get any more rest he hauled himself out of bed and shut off the alarm. He quickly dressed in yesterday’s clothes, and shoved his phone in his pocket, making his way downstairs as he pulled his jacket over his shoulders. He could hear movement in the kitchen, so he made his way in with a murmured, “Morning.”

“Morning,” Michael returned the greeting with a smile, pouring coffee into two mugs. “Made you some coffee.”

“Ah, I don’t do caffeine.”

“Right. Your body is a temple.”

“Well, I don’t know about that. More like a church in an airport.”

They both laughed and Michael lifted the mug, before he took a sip, saying, “Big day for Richmond.”

“Thought you didn’t know anything about football.”

He swallowed and shook his head. “Oh, I don’t. But I know who Zava is.”

“Of course,” he muttered with a smile. “Text me when you get back from Dubai?”

Michael nodded and Colin leaned in for a kiss. It was slow and sweet; they wouldn’t be seeing each other for a good while. He pulled back and said, “Safe flight,” as he turned to go.

Behind him, he heard Michael call, “Thanks. Safe driving.”

He laughed.

Several of them stood, staring at the entire corner of the dressing room now dedicated to Zava. Someone made an appreciative noise and Bumbercatch said what they were all thinking, “I can’t believe it’s really happening.”

From his right, Dani said, When I was a boy, I played in Zava boots, I slept in Zava boots, I made love for the first time to Zava boots.”

“I think you mean ‘in Zava boots’,” Zoreaux corrected.

“No,” Dani said reverently, and Colin valiantly held back a snort.

“Hey, you know, last night at the restaurant, as the painters were finishing up, I spent a very pleasurable hour on YouTube watching Zava’s greatest goals.” Sam’s voice turned giddy. “By the end, my head was spinning.” They all laughed. “Though it may also have been the paint fumes.”

“The way Zava moves on the pitch…” Richard said, making a wooshing noise. “Like a panther. So sexy, eh?”

He’d never heard a straight man sound so gay; he couldn’t wait to tell Michael about all his coworkers swooning over another man. It’s not like Colin disagreed with them though, but he kept his mouth firmly shut. Zava was very fit and, as evidenced by Michael knowing who he was, a bit of a sex symbol in the queer community.

He heard Isaac scoff and then say, “Sound a bit gay, bruv.”

He shot his friend a sideways glance but, as always, kept his mouth shut. He hoped that line of conversation would end there so he didn’t need to make a remark of his own, just to fit in, but when was he ever so lucky?

“Well, I’m gay…” Richard said, and Colin froze. What. The. Fuck. Richard had always been… sexually deviant, but was he actually… Reality came slamming down as Richard clarified after a long pause in a joking tone, “...for Zava, I mean.”

His teammates laughed, and Colin forced himself to join in.

“That’s true. Some men have a charisma that transcends orientation,” Sam said. The statement itself wasn’t necessarily homophobic, it could almost be anti-homophobic, but it still felt off. Maybe it was the environment. If it had been said by someone who knew he was standing next to a gay person, he didn’t think it would’ve been so weird.

“Paul Newman, Idris Elba, Norm Macdonald,” Sam listed, and Colin couldn’t help but make a loud noise of agreement at the last one. After a split second of fear, he realized his teammates had made similar noises of agreement. Sometimes Colin really struggled to determine if they were all dealing with some serious internalized homophobia, or if they were just really comfortable in their masculinity.

Probably a mix of both if he was being honest.

From behind him, Jan Maas said, “Zava is definitely one of those charisma unicorns.”

Seeing that the ‘dressing room banter’ probably wasn’t going to let up any time soon, Colin seized his chance to get a gay joke in, knowing he’d probably be able to skate along in silence for the rest of the conversation afterwards. “Okay, you guys have convinced me. I’ll have sex with Zava.” It wasn’t his best work, but it still seemed to do the trick as all his teammates laughed and some gave him friendly pats in appreciation of the ‘joke’.

As Jamie walked in, Zoreaux greeted him with a friendly, “Hey, what’s up man?” But he didn’t answer, instead turning to stare at the ‘Zava corner’ and lowering his sunglasses slowly.

“What the fuck is this?”

Early September 2022 - Early in the Season
Ted’s Third Year at AFC Richmond

Dr. Sharon, whom Colin still met with regularly over the phone, had recommended he find something to fill his time since being benched for Zava. He knew she was right; he'd far too often found himself sitting alone in the dark and brooding. Of all the times for Michael to be gone, this was probably the worst. At least, it was… until he had an idea.

Colin and Michael wanted to live together, but it was impossible. Even without the windows, Colin’s house was going to be a bad option more often than not, what with the paparazzi and his teammates.

What was slightly more unexpected, was how bad of an option Michael’s house turned out to be. They learned that lesson when Michael realized just how much of a deep clean he’d had to do to have his mates over after Colin had spent a mere weekend with him, and those friends were only there for a few hours. If Colin wanted to spend any quality time with Michael—at a stage in their relationship where, if not for the greyhound-shaped elephant in the room, they would be discussing moving in together—he could never have anyone but his immediate family over at his house… ever.

He was mulling that conundrum over when the thought finally occurred to him. It had been cooking in the back of his brain for a while, he’d just needed that final push to figure it out. It turned out it was being benched was just that push.

What if there was a third option? A third… house. They could have somewhere that was truly theirs, even if they couldn't be there together all the time. It could work. It would work. Dr. Sharon would be proud when he told her during their next session. Colin had finally found something to fill his time.

The excuse Colin gave his real estate agent is that he wanted a place near his house where his family could stay when they visited for longer periods and didn’t want to be stuck in his guest rooms. Sandra—an extremely experienced veteran in dealing with overly wealthy footballers who each own at least two or three houses—didn’t even bat an eye, just emailing over a list of potential flats and the days she could take him to view them.

The first three places he ended up seeing were immediate busts. They were either in a bad location—places where he’d immediately be recognized—or they just felt off for some reason or another; bad vibes and such. The fourth of the many flats was far too snooty, even for his tastes, which was saying something—it had literal gold chandeliers in every room, like… who even wants that? The fifth place had annoyingly loud neighbours, which became incredibly clear about two minutes into the tour of the place.

He knew the sixth flat was the one he’d end up renting about ten seconds after stepping across the threshold. It was small but cosy, and based solely on the house he currently owned, no one would ever think to look for him in a place like this—not that it wasn’t nice, it was just very different.

Mid-September 2022 - Early in the Season
Ted’s Third Year at AFC Richmond

The second his sister picked up the phone Colin said, “Robin, I fucked up.”

“Shit. What happened?” She sounded genuinely concerned, and her words were accompanied by a loud bang and some shuffling noises. “Is it about footie? Drugs? Are you drunk? Do I need to pick you up?”

“Oh, fuck. Sorry, it’s nothing bad,” he quickly rushed to reassure her. “I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

There was a muted bang on the other end of the line. “Well, fuck. Don’t do that then.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

“So, what happened?”

“It’s a bit of a long story. Are you free today?”

“Yeah, I was just going to hang around the house with Suzie.”

“She can come too, this place should be fine for a baby. I’ll text you the address.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t hire an interior decorator.”

“I thought I could do it myself,” he said mournfully. “Michael’s gonna be home in a week, and it’s a disaster in here! What the hell was I thinking?”

Chapter Text

A Little Over a Year Earlier
One Month After Colin & Michael Started Dating
August 2021 - Pre-Season Training
Ted’s Second Year at AFC Richmond

In Michael’s opinion, when one is as deeply closeted as Colin Hughes, while simultaneously being in a happy, long-term, committed relationship, living arrangements get complicated. First, there were the many many issues with Colin’s house, the main one being that journalists loved to lurk outside it.

Michael learned the details of this one particular bright and early one morning the first time he ever stayed the night. He’d just woken up and spent a few minutes snogging Colin before finally pulling himself out of bed and heading toward the door, intending to hunt down some coffee and food.

“Wait!” Colin called urgently.

Just about to leave the bedroom, he paused and turned back with a confused, “What?”

“Just wait for me before you head downstairs. I’ve gotta teach you how to walk around before letting you loose in my house,” Colin said quickly as he pulled on a pair of pants and an undershirt.

 “Uh… That clears up nothing.”

Colin gave him a look, implying he thought Michael was being incredibly thick. “The windows?” He raised his eyebrows meaningfully, arm halfway in the sleeve of his robe.

“Yeah?”

Colin finished pulling on the robe and rolled his eyes. “I don't have curtains, so if you don’t know how to avoid ‘em, the journos’ll get pictures of ya.”

Michael took a moment to close his eyes and take several calming breaths before opening them and saying, “If you’re famous… and hiding what's arguably one of the biggest secrets you could be in this situation, then why the fuck would you choose to live in a giant glass box with no curtains?”

Colin looked like he was considering how to respond to that. “...I don’t actually have a good answer.” Michael made a vaguely strangled noise and Colin simply shrugged. “Listen, there’s a reason I’ve never had you over here before. It never really mattered when I only ever had the team and family over here and hookups were always at the other guys' flats or a hotel.”

He smirked. “Colin, babe, I thought it was just because reporters sometimes camp outside your house. I just didn’t think you made it easy for them.”

“Hey!” At Colin’s petulant tone and expression, he burst out laughing.

Late September 2022 - Early in the Season
Ted’s Third Year at AFC Richmond

When Colin greeted Michael after his longest work trip yet with an enthusiastic kiss and a gleeful, “Michael! Will you move in with me?” he was pretty surprised, all things considered.

“Colin, babe. You know I’d love to, but have you forgotten that's kind of impossible?”

“Well, what with the whole,” Colin waved his hand vaguely through the air, encompassing the whole shitshow of him getting benched for Zava in a single gesture. It had been rough beyond belief being away for such a long trip right as everything seemed to be spiralling back home.

Michael winced as Colin continued, “Anyway, I’ve had more free time than usual, and you weren’t here, so I came up with something. Dr. Sharon said I needed to fill my time, so I've just sort of been working on it… It's kind of a lot though, so you’re gonna have to promise me you won't freak out.”

“A lot in what way?” There were several ways things could be ‘a lot’ with Colin, and they all required different coping mechanisms.

1. Professional Athlete Bullshit: Colin had a habit of forgetting normal people do not remotely share his freaky high endurance level. And this wasn’t even a sex thing; they went on a hike once, and it went exactly how you'd probably imagine it did.
2. Rich Person Bullshit: Colin tried to buy Michael’s mother a car after they’d been dating for three months.
3. Welsh Bullshit: Welsh patterned things were Colin’s way of marking his territory, but Michael hit his limit when he was handed a wall decal as tall as his twelve-year-old niece.
4. Closeted Bullshit: Michael hadn’t thought he would ever have a boyfriend who would teach him the importance of a ‘bro-hug’, but life is unpredictable that way.
5. Celebrity Bullshit: It turned out there was a pretty big difference between logically knowing Colin had some semblance of fame and seeing someone approach him on the street and ask for a photo and autograph. Truly wild stuff.

Colin, who at this point was well aware of the mental list Michael kept, winced and said, “Uh… rich person bullshit?”

Michael took a moment to collect himself. “Alright.”

“I bought us a flat.”

“What?” He had not been remotely ready for that. “You fucking- You bought a flat?”

“Just hear me out. First, you know I can afford it, I make way too much money, and I promise it’s not big. It’s actually really small. Like, a third of the size of your place. I figure since we're both out of town so often, whenever we’re both around we can live there, but the rest of the time we can live at our own places, or whenever we’re hanging out with other people. I spent the time you were gone getting it set up. Michael… There’s pictures of both of us on the walls, and I moved some clothes in and I fucking cried when I left half the closet empty for you.”

“It… it sounds really nice, babe, but… it’s too much.”

“I know it sounds like a lot but listen.” Colin grabbed his hands and squeezed. “I can’t marry you. I can’t tell my friends about you. I can’t even walk down the street holding your hand. Living with you, fucking… not even full-time! It’s the one thing I can do. And I can’t live with you without this flat. We’ve talked about how long it’ll take before we can move forward, marriage, and kids, and whatever the fuck else. But it could be like fifteen years, Michael! Easily! This job takes away so much, but it gave me the money to do this, yeah? It’s just balancing the scales.”

He took a long moment to think. What Colin was saying made sense, and he could easily admit to himself just how desperate he was to take some kind of step forward with Colin, which was nearly impossible given the circumstances. He took a deep breath and said, “...Okay, Colin.”

Colin looked confused. “Really?”

Michael met his eyes and smiled. “Yeah. Really, it’s okay.”

“God, I thought it would take a lot longer to convince you.” Colin beamed. “This is great. I love you.” Before he could reply, Michael was being thoroughly kissed. When Colin finally pulled back, his smile hadn’t faded one bit and he started rambling. “You’re gonna love it!”

“When can I see it? Could we go now?” He asked.

Colin’s lips twitched ever so slightly down. “We can’t go until later tonight. Sam’s restaurant is opening, and I have to be there.”

“We’ll go after. I can pick you up.”

Colin chewed on his lip. “Actually, I was wondering if you’d come with me?”

“To… the restaurant? With your team?”

Colin pursed his lips. “I was just thinking, it’s so weird that you haven’t met them. And I know they can’t know, I get it, I do, but maybe they could meet you? I just- You haven’t even met my best mate, and I hate that.”

He got it, it was the same with his friends; keeping Colin a secret was torture some days. Michael nodded. “I’d love that.”

“We’d have to lie. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

He shrugged. “I already have to lie about this, and I’m okay with that.”

Colin frowned. “Lies of omission are different than actually having to pretend to someone’s face.”

“It’s okay with me.” He grabbed Colin’s hands in his and gave them a reassuring squeeze. “Really. I want to meet your friends. I know how important they all are to you.”

“Okay.” He let out a breath and his face lit up slightly. “And we can go straight to the flat from there.”

Michael had a horrible urge and, completely unable to resist, said, “You mean go gay to the flat?”

Colin stared at him, face a mixture of shock and disappointment. “Why do I love you? We’re divorcing. I call Casserole.”

“Sorry.” He grinned. “And no way are you getting the dog.”

COLIN
- Just parked

MICHAEL
- Ill order the uber now

COLIN
- See u soon
- Love you

MICHAEL
- Love you too

There had been a bit of debate about how they wanted to do this, eventually deciding Colin would drive to the restaurant, while Michael ubered his way over. They’d thought about driving together but eventually dismissed it, determining that the chances of someone seeing them and thinking it was strange were a little too high for their comfort levels.

Michael entered, immediately spotting Colin sitting with a group of his teammates and greeting him brightly, “Colin!”

“Hi, hi.” They did the bro hug Colin had insisted on him perfecting. Apparently, it was a necessary skill; who knew? Seeing Colin in the same environment as his teammates was giving him a strange sense of being stuck in the twilight zone, or maybe just experiencing severe whiplash.

Quietly, Colin asked, “Doing good?”

He pulled back slightly, gave him a tight smile, and nodded. “Yeah, you okay?”

“Yeah.” Colin nodded and stepped back, keeping his hand on Michael’s back, as if he wasn't quite ready to stop touching him yet. Michael wasn’t complaining, it was the only thing grounding him at the moment, as he stared at the faces of his boyfriend's teammates. Colin casually slapped a hand on his chest, saying loudly, “Boyos, this is my pal Michael.”

He raised a hand in greeting. “Hiya.”

“What’s up, man?” A large bald man grinned and held out a fist, which Michael obligingly bumped. He thought it was Richmond's goalkeeper, but wasn't 100% sure.

The other two were Isaac—he'd seen plenty of pictures of Colin's best mate—and Daniel(?), another one of Colin’s friends on the team. Oh, Dani! That was his name.

As they took their seats, Colin pointed at him. “World’s greatest wingman.”

He laughed. “Yeah. Tough gig. ‘Hello, young lady. My friend’s a professional footballer. May I spend all night talking to your cross-eyed friend while he hits on you… poorly?’”

After some thought, they figured the best cover would be Michael wing-manning for Colin, given his reputation for struggling to pick up women. It seemed to go over well as Isaac, the goalkeeper(?), and Dani all burst into laughter. Michael internally fist-pumped. It felt a bit weird to be celebrating a successful lie, but he would take what he could get.

Colin pointed at the longer-haired man saying, “This is Dani Rojas.”

Dani smiled brightly and greeted him with a cheery, “Hola!”

Michael smiled and gave him a short nod, glad to know he’d been correct on the name. Colin gestured to the bald man next. “Thierry Zoroux, but right now he’s going by Van Damme.”

“You’re the goalkeeper, yeah?” He asked.

“Yup. ‘S nice to meet you, man.”

Colin grinned and pointed at Isaac. “And this’s my best mate, Isaac.”

“Hi,” he said, giving the man a small smile.

Isaac nodded. “Nice to meet you.”

“I’ve gotta go see Moe about something, but it was good to meet you, man,” Van Damme said, again holding out a fist for him to bump, which he readily obliged. He got up, grabbed his beer, and sauntered toward a dark corner of the room while calling out, “Hey, Moe!”

“So, bruv, how do you know Colin?” Isaac asked, pulling his attention back to the table.

He grinned. “He hit my car in an empty parking lot.”

Colin sighed overdramatically. “I thought we were going to skip that part.”

“Never,” he replied, shaking his head.

Isaac laughed loudly as Dani said, “That is very consistent with Colin’s driving capabilities.”

They were never actually going to skip that part. They’d decided to keep their story as close to the truth as they could to avoid upping the likelihood that one of them would slip up. After all, the most convincing lies always had an element of truth to them.

Michael continued, “I know next to nothing about football, so I was clueless as to who he was for months.” His tone turned to teasing, “I think he just wanted a normal friend.”

Colin shrugged. “Hey, it’s been a long time since I’ve had a mate outside of football. I was curious.”

“I don’t have any friends outside the club.” Isaac looked thoughtful and a little concerned. “Huh. Never realised that.”

“I would not worry my friend,” Dani said, placing a hand on his arm. “Having teammates is like having built-in friends! I’m sure that is enough to get by, although there is always room for more.” He beamed blindingly at Michael.

Isaac nodded, looking relieved. “You’re right, bruv.”

“And I can’t exactly say I don’t know football anymore, Colin’s forced me to sit through enough games that I at least know a little now,” Michael said.

Colin shook his head. “He’s a liar. A week ago I had to teach him what a penalty kick was.”

Isaac and Dani stared at him in utter disbelief, shockingly similar to the look Colin had given him a week earlier when he asked for him to clarify how penalty kicks worked. He’d known the basics, but nothing beyond that.

He burst into laughter, barely getting out, “Tha- That’s the exact face he made.”

The three footballers exchanged looks before falling into their own fits of laughter.

An hour or so later, Colin was in the bathroom and Michael glanced down at his phone, which had just buzzed. Leaning back slightly in his chair, he let the background chatter of the restaurant surround him, bringing a sense of calm. He typed out a response.

COLIN
- I think im ready to head out
- Its just a lot
- If you want to stay tho, we can

MICHAEL
- Ofc we can head out
- Whenever youre ready

COLIN
- Thanks

It wasn’t long until Colin returned to the table and said, “Well, boyos, Michael and I should be heading out.” Colin’s words were met with a chorus of groans. “Hey, hey. I promised him a ride home, and he’s got work early and I’ve got shit to do tomorrow.”

Isaac looked vaguely suspicious. “Can’t he take his own car?”

“I ubered,” Michael jumped in. “My car’s been having issues.”

“I’d love to stay, but I really can’t… again, I’ve got shit to do,” Colin added.

“Has Colin… driven you before, Michael?” Dani asked hesitantly.

Michael laughed. “Yes. And I’m not planning to relive the experience anytime soon. I’ll be the one driving. He’ll get his car back when I get home alive.”

Isaac and Dani laughed, fondly agreeing. Colin rolled his eyes, taking his friends’ teasing good-naturedly as it followed them out the door and into the night.

They were just out of view of the front of Sam’s restaurant when Colin pulled him into a darkened sidestreet and proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of him. Pushing aside the instinct to return the kiss full force, he broke away and said in a breathy voice, “Someone could see, love.”

“I don't give a shit,” Colin said, before kissing him again. This time he melted into the kiss, concerns quickly dismissed in favour of backing Colin up against the nearest wall.

It wasn’t long until his survival instincts kicked in, and he again pulled away. “C’mon. We really shouldn’t be doing this here.”

Colin pursed his lips and nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. I just…” He shrugged.

“I get it.” He caressed Colin’s cheek, before stepping back, leaving Colin still using the wall to almost entirely support his weight. “And don’t worry,” he smiled, “-I’m definitely game to continue this somewhere a bit more private.”

Colin rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Of course.” He pushed off the wall and started walking in the direction of his car, Michael falling into step beside him.

Michael could sense Colin’s nerves building as they drove, reaching a peak when they pulled up in front of a block of flats and parked. It was obvious how badly he wanted him to like the place; it was incredibly and adorably endearing.

The neighbourhood was nice, clean, and quiet. There were rows and rows of two-story flats, some that appeared to be just one floor, based on the two front doors and multiple driveways, while others had small yards, a single door, and just one drive.

The door Colin led him to was one of the ones with two doors, and they climbed a short flight of steps to the upper floor. Colin pulled out a key and let them into the dark flat. He only turned on the lights once the door was firmly shut behind them.

He blinked, his eyes adjusting to the light. The front door opened into a living area to the left and a small island to the right separating the kitchen from the main room. Directly on the other side of the island was a small kitchen table that could seat four.

Hysterically, Michael’s mind suddenly tried to imagine Colin’s whole football team fitting into this place, and it was hilarious…. Far funnier than it should be, honestly.

“So, what do you think?” Colin’s voice was small.

“I love it,” Michael replied with a soft smile. “This is amazing, Colin.”

Colin’s answering smile was bright and he looked more confident. “I’m glad you like it.” He moved deeper into the flat, gesturing for Michael to follow him.

Past the main room of the flat, there was a small hallway, which Colin led him down. To the right, there were two doors and to the left, there was just one. The end of the hall had a small sliding door that seemed to lead onto a tiny walled balcony. The glass door was covered with fogged glass so he couldn’t tell for sure, but he liked the design; it let in a lot of light, without compromising their privacy. He doubted Colin would be comfortable going out there very often, but if it was nice, Michael was sure he’d get quite a bit of use out of it.

Colin opened the first door to the right, revealing a small but well-furnished bathroom. “Here’s the toilet.” He shut the door and gestured to the second door on that side of the hall. “Over there’s just storage, but this is the exciting bit.”

He opened the one door directly across from the bathroom and led him into the bedroom. It was larger than he’d expected, probably equal in size to the living area of the front room, or a quarter of the whole apartment.

“Wow. This is nice,” Michael said appreciatively.

Colin nodded. “A surprising amount of storage space too.” He gestured to the wall of shelves and cabinets surrounding the bed. “You’ve got all this plus the closet.” He gestured to a door in the corner of the room.

Michael went over to take a look inside, but the second the door was open he forgot everything. His mind flashed back to what Colin had said about leaving space for him, and realized he hadn’t truly understood until that moment.

Quietly and without meaning to, he let loose a breathy, “Fuck.”

“What?” Colin said from across the room, where he was poking around in one of the nightstands.

Michael gently closed the closet door with a soft click, walked over to Colin, and said, “Colin, this place is amazing.” He gently grabbed his boyfriend’s arms and met his eyes. “I know I was hesitant, but I get it now. That-” he gestured toward the half-full closet. “-is fucking awesome.”

Colin’s expression went immediately soppy. “It is, isn’t it?”

Michael could only wordlessly nod.

“I love you.” Colin smiled, the slightest sheen of wetness in his eyes; Michael could sympathize, he was holding back tears of his own.

It was impossible to tell who moved first, but they were suddenly kissing. It was a slow, sweet thing, and when they separated, they were both left breathless. Michael smiled. “I love you too, babe.”

Colin’s head fell into the crook of his neck and they breathed together in silence for a moment. Eventually, Colin broke the peaceful air as he asked, “So, can I still take you up on that offer from earlier?” Michael could feel him smiling into his collarbone.

His eyebrows furrowed for a second before he caught on. “Oh, to pick up where we left off?”

“Yeah.” Colin nodded, raising his head so they could look at one another.

His smile shifted, matching Colin’s grin as he replied, “Of course, love.”