Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Iris hadn’t slept much but as she made her way to Barry’s hospital room, she was encouraged that the lights were on. That meant that Barry’s condition was currently stable, though it was still a mystery why it would affect the building’s power in the first place whenever he flatlined. The doctors didn’t understand it either, but they were too busy trying to keep Barry alive, as well as all the other people who were affected by the particle accelerator explosion.

She paused outside Barry’s room and looked down the hallway, considering a quick trip to the vending machine for a coffee. Barry was stable at this moment, though, and she didn’t want to miss her chance to check in on him, so she turned and opened the door to Barry’s room. If only there was something she could do to help besides holding his hand and crying. She hated feeling so useless.

When she entered Barry’s room, however, someone was already there, holding his hand. He was dressed in scrubs, but she’d never seen him before on that floor, and she was there so much, she knew pretty much the entire staff. Not only that, but the man didn’t seem to be taking Barry’s pulse. He was just holding Barry’s hand, talking softly.

She walked further in, gripping the strap of her purse. “Hello?”

The man was up in an instant, clearing his throat. “Sorry, Miss. Just checking on the patient,” he said. His voice was distinctive, with a bit of a drawl. She definitely would have remembered him. 

Slowly, Iris lowered her purse to her elbow, ready to reach inside. She always carried pepper spray with her, and she wouldn’t hesitate to blast the stranger in the face if he even looked at her wrong. 

“Who are you?” she asked as steadily as she could. “You’re not a nurse.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. “No, I’m not. I don’t mean any harm, though. I’ll just be on my way.”

“I don’t think so,” she said, reaching into her purse. “Tell me why you’re here with my brother.”

“Just relax, Miss. Barry and I are… old friends.”

“Yeah? What’s your name?”

He didn’t answer right away, his eyes trailing down to her hand embedded in her purse. She was trying to be subtle, but she was struggling to find the small canister of pepper spray amidst her keys, pens, and packs of gum. 

“It’s Lenny.”

“I’ve never heard Barry mention you.”

“Well, there’s a reason for that.”

She shook her head. “No way. I’m not just Barry’s sister, I’m his best friend. He would have told me about you.”

Lenny, as he called himself, tilted his head. “You sure about that? And what about you? You don’t have any secrets from him? He knows every single one of your friends?”

“He… I—" she started, but she had to admit that there were some friends she’d had in college that she never told her dad or Barry about. Still, that was her, not Barry. He wasn’t the type to keep secrets, and Lenny wasn’t even their age. He was at least a decade older than them, maybe even two.

“Alright, this is what we’re going to do,” she said, regaining her composure. “You’re going to sit down, and you’re going to tell me exactly how you know Barry.”

“Or what?”

“Or I call security, and my dad. He’s a detective for the CCPD.”

To her surprise, he chuckled. “Yeah, I know. I’ve met your father before.”

“So, he knows that you’re friends with Barry?”

“Nope, and I’d like to keep it like that. Alright, Miss West, I’ll play along,” he said, sitting back down. “But for Barry’s sake, I hope you consider keeping this a secret from the good detective.”

“Doubtful, but we’ll see,” she said, slowly sitting on the other side of Barry’s bed. 

“Listen, I’ll tell you our story, but could you not pull out that pepper spray in your purse? Barry could get caught in the stream of it. Just throw the chair at me or one of those tools on that cart beside you if you feel that it’s necessary.”

Iris stiffened and glanced at Barry. She’d used pepper spray before, and she knew he was right; Barry would definitely get caught in the mist and he couldn’t even run away. She let go of the canister and set her purse on the floor. 

Taking his advice, she glanced over the cart next to her and found some delightfully sharp instruments just sitting there, so she chose one and kept it in her hand. As she turned back to Lenny, he didn’t seem worried, not with the way he was smirking. The amusement, however, didn’t reach his eyes. 

The more she looked, she could see the dark circles under his eyes that were identical to hers. It was possible that he was worried about Barry, but she needed to hear some facts before she believed him.

“Okay, tell me,” she said, lifting her chin. “Tell me how you know Barry.”

He took a deep breath and sat back in his chair. He propped one of his feet up on his knee and rested his hands on his leg, clasped together. It gave Iris the feeling that this wasn’t going to be a quick story and she had to admit, she was intrigued.

“My name, Miss West, is Leonard Snart, and I’m a professional thief.” As she stiffened, he waved her off. “Relax, you’re not in any danger from me. Sure, if you look up my record, you’ll know that I’ve killed a couple of people in the past, but that was a long time ago and it was never without reason. But I’d never do that now.”

“How can I believe that?”

His eyes shifted to Barry and his expression softened. “Because, once upon a time, a sassy little boy challenged me. He said that if I was such a good thief, I should be able to do it without hurting anyone. So, that’s what I did.”

He’s known Barry that long, she wondered in disbelief. 

Leonard didn’t turn back to her, but his smile widened slightly as he began his story.

“I was doing some time in Iron Heights for petty theft when Henry Allen was arrested for the murder of his wife. You hang around a place like that, you get a second sense of who was actually innocent, and it didn’t take a genius to know that Allen was no murderer. He was grieving for his wife and for not being able to be there for Barry, yet he was still kind and helpful to everyone around him. Patched me up from a fight once. He’s a good guy.”

“So, you believe him?” she asked skeptically. “You believe that Nora was killed by a super fast guy that made lightning?”

Leonard glanced back at her. “Look, you live in your own pretty little world curated by a sheltering father. It’s not bad that he protected you, but there’s a lot of stuff out there you’re ignorant of. I’ve seen and heard a lot in my years, and Barry’s story about his mother’s real murderer isn’t the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. But that’s not what this is about, and if we get into that, you’re not going to find out how I met Barry.”

Iris huffed, but she gestured for him to continue. “Go on, then.”

“To understand why meeting Barry was so poignant to me, I have to give you a little background. My dad was a cop, too, but he was a dirty one. He got arrested when I was little for stealing an emerald, and when he got out, he wasn’t the man he used to be. The only good thing he did after that was father my sister, but he was… cruel. 

“Luckily, he wasn’t around much when I was arrested, so Lisa, who was a teenager back then, was being looked after by friends of the family. They were begrudging and not especially kind, but they didn’t hurt her, kept her fed, and kept her in school, so that was good enough for us. She came in to visit me every week, and it killed me to see her so dull and quiet.”

Leonard looked at Barry again and smiled. “Then one day, I came into the visitation room and saw Lisa on the other side of the glass…”

May 2000

Leonard was stunned and almost forgot to sit. Lisa was on the other side of the glass, but she was beaming at him, looking lit up from the inside. When she waved at him and picked up the phone, he quickly sat down and picked up his.

“What happened?”

Lisa cocked her head. “What are you talking about?”

“You look happy.”

“Oh, um, nothing’s really changed. I was just chatting with this cute kid over here while we were waiting. He’s here to see his dad.”

Leonard glanced around the partition and saw Henry Allen sitting there, talking gently to his son. “Hmm, the Allen kid, huh?” 

“Yeah, he’s so sweet! Hey, Barry, come meet my brother,” she whispered over in the seat next to her.

“Hey, don’t bother him, Lise. He’s spending time with his dad.”

She rolled her eyes. “Just for a minute. Come here, sweetie,” she coaxed, and a little boy poked his head around the partition. 

Leonard remembered Henry saying Barry was 11, but he looked even younger than that with how small and cute he was. As his eyes found Leonard on the other side of the glass, they widened. Leonard smirked, knowing that the kid was probably scared shitless of him. 

“Wanna say hi?” Lisa asked, shoving the phone against his ear. 

Leonard shook his head. She probably didn’t realize how intimidating he was because he was her brother, but she needed to learn to read the room a little.

“Hey, kid,” Leonard said. Normally, spooking a little kid would be hilarious, but Henry was a good guy, and the kid just lost his mom. But as Barry’s mouth dropped open a little, he wondered if maybe he shouldn’t have said anything at all.

After a moment of gaping, Barry swallowed hard and said, “You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.”

Not a lot caught him off guard, and he thought he usually got a good read on people, but he stared back at Barry with probably the most dumbfounded look that had ever been on his face. He’d have gaped even longer at the kid if it hadn’t been for Lisa’s hysterical laughing.

“Did I say something funny?” Barry asked, his head swiveling back and forth between Leonard and Lisa. 

“It’s just funny because it’s Lenny,” Lisa said, her voice trembling with giggles. She wiped a tear from her eye. “Ah, that felt good.”

“Hey, Leonard,” Henry said, peeking around the partition. “What did he say to you?”

Leonard rubbed the back of his head. “He, um, said that I have the most beautiful eyes he’s ever seen.”

Henry threw his head back and laughed. “That’s my boy. Gets his charm from his old man.”

“Hey!” The guard behind them snapped. “Keep to your own sides.”

“Alright,” Henry sighed and went back to his own area. 

Leaning forward, Leonard smirked at Barry. “Thanks for the compliment, kid. Go back to your dad now, okay?”

Barry brightened. “Okay! Nice to meet you, Lenny!”

As he disappeared, Lisa covered her mouth to stifle more giggles. “He’s so cute, isn’t he? We were waiting a while out here and he kept chatting with me. It was nice.”

“Seems like a good kid.”

“He’s too pure for this world. Luckily, he’s going to start visiting his dad the same day I come, so I’m hoping to run into him more often. I can always use a good laugh.”

“Is he here alone? I thought he was adopted.”

“Yeah, by the detective who put his dad away,” she whispered with a grimace. “It seems that he’s taking good care of Barry, but he doesn’t want Barry visiting his dad too much.”

Leonard shrugged. “Look at it from his point of view. He thinks Henry’s a murderer, so he’s just trying to protect him.”

“You think he did it?”

“Nope. He’s no murderer, and he’s grieving her hard. Enough about that, though. How’s school?”

Lisa groaned and dropped her head.

“That good, huh?”

“I hate it, Lenny.”

“Nobody likes school.”

Lisa lifted her head and gestured with it to her left. “Barry does. He was telling me all about his classes. The kid is a smarty pants.”

“Well, his dad was a doctor, so I’m sure they put a high importance on education. You just need to graduate, okay? Otherwise, you won’t have much of a chance when you’re an adult.”

“A chance for what?” she asked, rolling her eyes.

“To get a decent job.”

“I know what kind of jobs I want, Lenny, and none of them are decent.”

Leonard leaned forward on the counter and rubbed his aching forehead. “Lise, I never had any other option other than being a thief. I want you to have more options than I did.”

“Lenny, you love being a thief.”

“That’s beside the point.”

“No, it is the point. I think I’d love it, too.”

She leaned back in her chair, crossed her legs, and flipped her long, dark hair over her shoulder, attitude radiating from her with every movement. She was fifteen, but he had a terrible feeling she wasn’t going to grow out of it any time soon. He couldn’t imagine how her teachers were dealing with it.

“Lisa, you’re not hoping to impress Dad, are you?”

“No,” she snapped back. She clicked her tongue and continued in a softer tone. “I don’t give a shit about him, Lenny. Even if I became the greatest thief in the world, it wouldn’t impress him, so who cares? I’d rather impress you.”

Leonard gave her a hard look. “I’d be more impressed if you graduated.”

“Would you?” she retorted.

The rest of the visit was a cycle, him trying to change the subject to something pleasant, Lisa would complain about it, he’d try to change her mind, and she’d tell him to shove it. He missed her and he was glad to see her, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t relieved when their time was up. As they said their goodbyes, Barry was already starting to leave.

“Wait for me, Barry,” Lisa said over her shoulder. “I’ll walk you to the bus stop, okay?”

Leonard saw him smile and say something back, but he wasn’t able to catch it through the phone. Before turning away, Barry glanced at him and as their eyes met, he flinched as though he was surprised. His cheeks colored a little and he pressed his hand against his chest. He said something else to Lisa, but all he could hear was Lisa’s laughter in response.

After he watched Barry rush out of the room, he asked, “What did he say?”

“He said— Oh God, sorry,” she said, holding her nose to contain her giggles, and they ended up coming out in a snort. “He said that every time you look at him, his heart starts racing.”

“Jeez,” he said, shaking his head. He couldn’t help but smile, though. Although it came from a kid, it was nice getting a compliment like that. 

“I can’t wait to talk to him more about you.”

“Hey, don’t encourage that. He needs to have a crush on someone his own age.”

Lisa scoffed. “You’re no fun, Lenny. I love having crushes on older men.”

“Like who?”

“Whoops, time’s up! Talk to ya later, Lenny!” she chirped, winked, and then hung up the phone.

He shook his head at her and hung up as well. After she had fled the room, he finally cracked a small smile, even as the guard hustled him out of his seat. He hadn’t paid too much attention whenever Henry had been talking about his son, but he probably would from now on. He had to be a special kind of kid to make Lisa smile and laugh like that when there wasn’t a damn good thing going on in her life.

Present

Iris had tried to keep a straight face throughout the story, but it was so hard when it was so easy to picture Barry back then. He had always been free with his compliments, so loving and open that he could never hold back when someone impressed him in any way. She’d also known for ages that both she and Barry shared a similar weakness for a pair of pretty blue eyes. 

“Did you see him a lot after that?” she asked, curious about the rest of their relationship.

Leonard chuckled. “Every week, like clockwork. Before long, he started meeting Lisa beforehand or they’d hang out after, and they’d treat each other to ice cream or something. Barry saved up his allowance for it, and Lisa stole money from other kids at school. It was good for her though, having someone to look after.

“My term only lasted a couple of months after that, but Lisa still went with him for a long time, just to keep Barry company. I think Henry appreciated him having that kind of support.”

Iris pursed her lips. She knew that was a dig on her and her father, but they supported Barry more than anyone else. More than Leonard, that was for sure. 

“Did you see him after you got out?”

Leonard laughed softly. “More than you’d think.”

August 2000

Leonard was soaked to his underwear underneath his jumpsuit, but he didn’t dare take it off. He only had so many clothes that weren’t stained or worn to threads, and it was impossible to work on an engine without getting any grease on himself even with how careful he was. He could strip his clothes underneath and wear just the jumpsuit if only there wasn’t a little brat hovering over his shoulder who would probably faint if he saw any of Leonard’s skin. 

Wiping the sweat off his forehead, Leonard glanced over his shoulder. Barry was sitting cross-legged on a rickety lawn chair, dressed more for the weather in a T-shirt and shorts. The garage held nothing of interest for an eleven-year-old unless you count Leonard himself, but Barry seemed content as he looked around, bobbing his head to the music coming from the old radio on the shelf. 

When Barry noticed him looking his way, he perked up. “Did you need me to get something for you, Lenny?”

Leonard grinned. “Sure. Can you get me a wrench out of the kit there?”

Barry nodded and hopped out of his chair. It didn’t take him long to find one and when he did, he held it up like it was a trophy. Leonard chuckled. 

“That’s the one I need.”

Brightening even more, Barry raced toward him and handed it over. He got on his tiptoes and peeked inside. 

“Do you need any help?”

“Nope, and it would be bad if you got any grease on your clothes. How could you explain it to Detective West?”

“I’d figure something out. You can call him Joe, you know.”

Leonard frowned as he tightened a bolt. “No, I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because the next time he arrests me, I don’t want to accidentally call him Joe.”

“You’re sure he’s going to arrest you?”

He cocked his head. “I’d like to avoid it. I’m good enough not to get caught, but there are always variables that are out of my control.” Turning to Barry, he leaned in close and narrowed his eyes. “Now, you get back in that chair if you know what’s good for you, kid.”

Barry grinned mischievously, not intimidated in the slightest. “Okay, okay,” he said, dragging his feet back to the chair. He sat on it gingerly, trying not to knock it over. 

Leonard chuckled and went back to work. He liked to pretend Barry was a nuisance, but he really wasn’t. Barry was sweeter than most kids he’d been around, and he was also a clever little thing. He seemed eager to learn anything they’d teach him, and when Leonard decided to teach him poker, he would have won if he could have stopped showing every thought he had through his expressions. 

He had been teaching him cards and some sleight of hand, but he didn’t want to corrupt Barry any more than that, and Lisa was on the same page as him. They wanted him to stay the same sweet, pure-hearted kid, so he’d never teach him anything that could get him into trouble, like how to lift someone’s wallet or how to pick a lock. The only exception was that Leonard had been teaching him to skirt around the truth and how to steer conversations skillfully to avoid telling a straight-up lie. It was the only way the three of them could keep hanging out without Joe West finding out about it.

As he heard Barry humming along with the current song, Leonard grinned and peeked back at him. It was a classic hits station, playing music he’d grown up on, and Barry had been hooked on it from the very start. 

“What song is this?” he asked when he saw Leonard looking at him. “It’s fun.”

“It’s Mr. Blue Sky by E.L.O.”

“E.L.O.” Barry repeated, tilting his head. 

“Electric Light Orchestra.”

“This is an orchestra?”

Leonard snickered and wiped his face on his sleeve. “It’s just the name of the band.”

“Oh,” Barry said and pursed his lips. He shifted back and forth on the chair to the bouncy tempo, and a couple of times Leonard was worried he was going to tip it right over.  “Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long… so long!” he sang, picking up on the lyrics already. 

Turning back to his work, Leonard kept smiling as he listened to Barry catch onto the song. It wasn’t long after meeting Barry that they’d discovered his love of singing, and it helped that he was pretty good. He was always on key though he often messed the lyrics up, which was hilarious. Sometimes Lisa joined in, choosing to sing Barry’s wrong lyrics instead of the real ones.

Just as the song was wrapping up, Leonard heard Lisa’s footsteps behind him. 

She giggled and said, “This song is perfect for Barry!”

“You’ve heard it before, Lisa?”

“Of course. Lenny loves old music.”

Leonard glared at her over his shoulder. “It’s not that old.”

She glared back at him. “It’s from the seventies.”

“Whoa,” Barry whispered, and Leonard considered throwing them both out on the street. 

“I know, right?” Lisa said, smirking at Lenny. “Anyway, I brought a treat for you boys. Popsicles!” she declared, holding up a grocery bag.

Barry shot up so quickly from his chair that it flipped backward. “Yay!”

Lisa pulled the box out, opened it, and let Barry get the first pick. As usual, it was a bright red one. Leonard sighed and went over to the garage sink to wash his hands. He was nearly done, but he deserved a break too. 

Leaning back against the car, he unwrapped his blue popsicle and stuck it in his mouth. He sighed, savoring the chill and the sweet flavor, just what he needed in that sweltering weather. 

“I wish we could have repeated the last song,” Barry said as he lapped at his popsicle. “This one’s boring.”

“It’s Elton John,” Leonard said, feeling slightly offended.

Barry paused and tilted his head. “The guy who did Lion King? Oh… he was better in that.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “You’ve got a point. This one’s a little dreary compared to his other stuff.”

Lisa bit the top of her yellow popsicle off and grimaced, no doubt from brain freeze. Once she recovered, she waved it in Barry’s direction. 

“Mr. Blue Sky should be Barry’s personal anthem.”

Leonard hummed. “You’re right. He never fails to make our day brighter.”

Barry smiled and hunched his shoulders shyly. “Blue skies don’t really make anything brighter. It’s the sun. In fact, it’s the light shining through particles in the air that make the sky look blue.”

“Smarty pants,” Lisa teased as she ruffled his hair. “It doesn’t change the fact that blue skies always put people in a better mood, just like you, Teddy Bear.”

He playfully stuck his tongue out at her, and she laughed at how bright red it was. 

With another sly look at Leonard, she leaned in closer to Barry. “I know some facts about colors, too. Like if you kissed Lenny, your tongues would turn purple.”

Barry’s face turned brighter than his popsicle.

“Cut that out, Lisa,” Leonard said, pointing his popsicle at her. 

“Why?”

“I’m too old for him.”

Barry shook his head. “No, you’re not! I don’t mind your age at all. In fact, you can kiss me whenever you feel like it. I give you consent,” he said with a little nod as if that made it okay.

Leonard considered sticking his popsicle down the back of the little runt’s shirt. “You’re a kid, Barry. I’m not ever gonna kiss you.”

“Maybe not right now, but I’ll get older,” Barry said as a matter of fact and went back to licking his popsicle.

“Yeah, you’ll get older, but what makes you think I’d be interested in you?”

“Well, my mom was beautiful, and she always said my dad was super handsome, so genetically I should be good.”

This kid, Leonard thought, snickering. “Maybe, maybe not, but there are other factors that make someone attracted to someone else.”

Barry nodded sagely. “Like personality.”

“Right, as well as intelligence and common sense.”

“Aren’t those the same thing?”

“Nope. Often, someone has one or the other. I happen to have both,” Leonard said, winking at him. 

“Which means he has a bad personality,” Lisa whispered loudly.

Leonard shook his head. “Sometimes you don’t even know something or someone attracts you until you meet them, and the older you get, the more your taste changes. So, you may have a crush on me now, Barry, but it won’t last. There are a lot of people out there who are waiting to meet you one day. You’d be wasting your time thinking about me.”

Barry gazed at him thoughtfully. He stared at Leonard until his popsicle began to drip on his hand, and then he flinched and licked it up before it got on his clothes. It didn’t take Leonard long to finish his, keeping the stick in his mouth and rolling it around with his tongue as he went back to work. He was getting paid peanuts to do all this hard work, but he needed a steady job to keep his parole officer happy. 

“Barry, don’t you need to get back?” Lisa asked, and Barry gasped. 

“Yeah, I better go. Thanks for the popsicle!” 

Lisa chuckled. “No problem. I’ll see you next time, Teddy Bear.”

Leonard smirked as he heard Barry’s quick footsteps coming up behind him and in a moment, he poked his head around Leonard’s arm. 

“Bye, Lenny,” he whispered. 

Shifting the stick to the corner of his mouth, Leonard said, “See ya, Mr. Blue Sky.”

Barry’s smile deepened as he stared up at Leonard. After a moment, he nodded and said, “I think I’m always going to like you.”

Leonard rolled his eyes and pulled the popsicle stick out of his mouth, pushing it against Barry’s forehead. He snickered at Barry’s disgust.

“Agree to disagree, kid. Now get outta here.”

“Bye,” Barry said again, a little more deflated. He walked away with the stick still stuck to his forehead. 

“You’re so mean, Lenny,” Lisa said once he was gone.

“I’m not mean. You’re being mean by encouraging him.”

“It’s just a crush. He’ll get over it, like you said.”

“Maybe, but let’s just hope Detective West never finds out. If he does, I’ll be lucky if he just throws me in jail.”

Lisa pulled her popsicle out of her mouth with a pop. “You’ll be lucky? What’s the worst he could do?”

“Shoot me.”

Present

Iris grinned, twirling the sharp tool in her fingers. “You’re right. He definitely would have shot you.”

Leonard tilted his head and flexed his hand resting in his lap. “Glad we’ve always been able to keep it a secret, then.”

“So, Barry continued visiting his dad, but also visiting you guys. Where did he find time for all this? We would have noticed him disappearing.”

“Not if you two weren’t home.” He glanced back at her and wiggled his finger in her direction. “You’ve always been an active young lady with many interests, and being a single father or two, West did what he could for both of you. It was often he was driving you around the city and Barry would tell you he’d rather not tag along. While you were gone, he’d come over to our place, not without calling first, of course.”

Frowning, Iris turned and gazed at Barry, watching his chest expand with every shallow breath. She couldn’t recall a specific time, but there were always moments when Barry pulled away from them, requesting a little solitude. She wondered if he really stayed in his room moping, or if he was actually sneaking out of the house to be with Leonard and Lisa. 

It made her uncomfortable, thinking that there was a lot about Barry that she didn’t know. He was her brother, her best friend. Maybe she didn’t tell him everything, but she always shared her heart with him, and she expected the same from him. 

“It’s weird,” she said, shaking her head. “Suddenly, I feel like I don’t know him at all. How could he keep something like this from me?”

“He’s still the Barry you know, even if there was something about him you didn’t know he kept some things from you. He’s just as loving as you thought, just as protective and determined. Once he gets stuck on something, he rarely lets it go.”

That surprised a laugh out of Iris. “Now you sound like my dad. He always says that you can never change Barry’s mind.”

“That’s the truest thing West has ever said.”

She scoffed. “Does that mean Barry never stopped liking you?”

“What do you think?” 

“Well, knowing him, probably not… but we always talked about people we liked with each other. Was he making all that up?”

Leonard gazed back at Barry with a far-off look in his eyes. “No, he wouldn’t do that. Just because he’s always liked me doesn’t mean he didn’t like other people. No one has more love to give than Barry, after all. I think there were times he did talk to you about me, just not in a way you’d think it was someone like me.”

“One thing I did know, though,” Iris said with a warm smile, “Mr. Blue Sky is Barry’s favorite song. I never would have heard of it if he wasn’t always singing it.”

“Yeah, it’s not a common tune you young people enjoy,” Leonard teased. “That one stuck with him, and I called him that occasionally. Lisa always called him Teddy Bear, and Mick always called him Peanut.”

She stopped twirling the sharp tool in her hand and raised an eyebrow. “Mick? Who’s that?”

“Oh, yeah. I haven’t told you about him yet.” Leonard sighed and ran his hand over his jaw, the stubble making a scratching noise under his fingers. “I guess you could call Mick my best friend. Closest thing I ever had to one. You may look at me and think that I may or may not be a criminal, but with Mick, you wouldn’t have a doubt. He’s a brute, a thief, a pyromaniac, but he also looks out for people from time to time. Kept me from getting stabbed in juvie.”

Iris cringed. “And this is someone you introduced to Barry?”

Leonard hummed. “As I’m sure you’ve guessed from my story, Barry was always eager to hang out with me and Lisa, but there were two times in our acquaintance that he almost refused to see us. The first time it happened… Well, needless to say, we were alarmed.”

2002

“What’s wrong?” Lisa asked over the phone, gripping it tightly with her fingers. 

She listened for a moment as Barry said something on the other end, and Leonard leaned down to try to catch what he was saying. Barry was talking quieter than normal.

As Lisa bit her lip, Leonard nudged her. “What did he say?”

“He says he’s tired.”

“Too tired to come over here and watch movies with us? We’ll just be sitting on the sofa eating junk food.”

“Did you hear that Barry?” she asked. “Come on. If something’s wrong, you know we’ll listen to you.” She paused, and Leonard listened closely but this time, he couldn’t hear Barry’s voice at all. He raised his eyebrows at her, but she shook her head. 

“Let me talk to him,” he said softly, and she handed the phone over to him. “Barry, are you there?”

“I’m here,” he said in a small voice. In the background, Leonard heard traffic noise, more so than if Barry were at his house.

“Where are you?”

“I’m calling from a pay phone. I was going to come straight to your house, but… Well, I think I’ll just go home.”

“Barry, what happened? Did someone hurt you?”

When Barry whimpered in response, Leonard’s anger flared up. He’d made Barry a promise not to kill anymore, but he was ready to make an exception this time.

“Who hurt you?”

“Nobody! It’s just… Ugh, I’ll come over,” he groaned. Before hanging up, he muttered, “Annoying,” and then all Leonard could hear was a dial tone. 

He pulled Lisa’s phone away from his ear and stared at it.

“What is it? What did he say?”

“He called me annoying.”

“You are,” she said, taking the phone from him. “Is he coming over?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Don’t freak out on him, okay, Lenny?”

“I’m not going to freak out.”

“If you could murder someone with your mind, whoever hurt Barry would be dead by now.”

He huffed but didn’t respond to her. It was pointless when she knew she was right. A few minutes later, Barry showed up, and Leonard struggled not to freak out, but it was one of the hardest things he’d ever done. Barry had a black eye and a busted lip. His clothes were dirty and one of his sleeves was torn. 

As they stared down at him, Barry shifted nervously. Leonard drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to keep calm. He knelt in front of Barry and gently grasped his arms. 

“Who did this to you, Barry?”

Barry shook his head quickly. “You’re going to kill him!”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Then you’re going to hurt him.”

“He’d deserve it.”

“Lenny!”

“Barry,” Lisa said, stroking a hand through his hair. “Who did this?”

Barry’s eyes welled up with tears, and he mumbled. “Tony Woodward. He always picks on me and other kids, but especially me. He’s a lot bigger than me and way stronger.” He sniffed and wiped his face on his sleeve. “Please, Lenny, don’t go after him. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

Leonard clenched his jaw, trying to hold back his fury. He at least wanted to scare the kid, but Barry was right. If he meddled too much in his life, it could get back to West, and then they’d never see Barry again. But he couldn’t let it go either.

“You always fight back?” he finally asked.

Barry wrinkled his nose. “I try. Joe and Iris have been teaching me how to fight back and defend myself, but Tony is just too big and strong. I’ll never beat him,” Barry mumbled as he hung his head. 

Leonard huffed. “We’ll see about that. Come on, Barry,” he said, tucking his fingers under Barry’s chin and lifting his head. “Just let me make a phone call.”

Barry’s eyes widened. “What are you going to do?”

“It’s time to bring out the big guns.”

Twenty minutes later, Mick Rory shuffled through the door and glared down at Barry who was snuggled next to Lisa on the sofa. 

“This him? He’s a peanut.”

Barry’s eyes were wide as he took in Mick, but when he heard that, he scowled. “I’m not a peanut!”

“Yeah, you are. Come here, kid.”

Swallowing hard, Barry got up and shuffled toward him. Leonard hadn’t planned on introducing him to Mick who was far more intimidating and dangerous than he was, but there were occasions when Mick got a soft spot for people, especially kids who were in over their head, like Leonard. Mick hummed and looked Barry over, shaking his head. 

“The kid who beat you up, was he big?”

“Yeah, he’s always been bigger than me.”

“And stronger, too, I bet.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, sorry to tell you this, kid, but he probably always will be. You can work out, eat protein, and drink milk all you want, but you won’t ever catch up to him.”

“So, it’s pointless?” Barry asked, looking crestfallen. 

“Not pointless. You’ll never be as strong or as big as him, but you can be faster and smarter. Plus, it couldn’t hurt to work out a little, then you won’t look so pathetic. Don’t pout. That’s worse,” Mick said as Barry stuck his bottom lip out. Barry pursed his lips instead, and Mick shook his head. “Don’t do that either. First thing you gotta learn is to not show fear. Look at me,” he said, leaning forward. “Show me a mean face.”

Barry furrowed his eyebrows and quivered his upper lip as if he were snarling. It looked more like a poor Billy Idol impersonation than a mean face, and Leonard quickly covered his mouth, so Barry didn’t catch him smirking. 

Mick hummed. “We’ll work on that later. For now, let’s focus on getting you faster and smarter.”

“How can you make me smarter?”

“You calling me dumb?”

Barry cocked his head. “No. I was just wondering how you were going to do it.”

“Oh… Well, how do you get smarter normally?”

“By studying, reading, listening to my teachers…”

“Exactly. From now on, I’m your sensei. And Snart,” he said, jabbing a thumb in Leonard’s direction. “He’s always been weaker than me, but he’s smarter, and that’s helped him out of a lot of jams. He can help you with strategy.”

“What can I do?” Lisa asked, perking up on the sofa.

“Positive reinforcement, keeping us hydrated, and keeping the jams going,” Mick replied, holding up a finger for each point. “We need some good music to keep us pumped up.”

“Okay!” she cried and jumped to her feet. “Come on, Barry. Let’s turn you into a fighting machine!”

It didn’t happen overnight. That wasn’t possible when they only had a little time together once a week if that. But Mick wasn’t a bad trainer, and he told Barry exactly what he needed to do throughout the week to help him get stronger and faster. He ate and drank what Mick told him to, and after he did his homework every night, he did a little workout in his room, mostly push-ups and sit-ups to increase upper body strength. 

Whenever Barry came over to visit, their movie nights turned into training sessions instead. The sofa had been moved to the side, and Leonard had set up a mat and weightlifting equipment. Lisa had burned some CDs of good music to keep them pumped up, and she played them as Mick sparred with Barry on the mat. 

It was hard for Leonard to watch. He knew it had to happen because Barry needed to defend himself, but it wrenched his heart to see Mick knock him down or yell in his face. It was too close to what he suffered from his father, and he nearly stopped it on a few occasions, but Barry never cried or ran away. Instead, a fire lit up in his eyes and he’d hop right back to his feet, fists poised in defense.

Unlike Leonard’s father, Mick never hurt Barry, and he complimented him when he did something well. It wasn’t anything monumental, just a good one or a that’s how you do it, Peanut, but the positive reinforcement fueled Barry’s determination even more and built his confidence bit by bit.  He also started picking up on Mick’s trash talk a bit, and when he threw out something surprising, Mick often broke the stoic sensei character he had going on and fell to his knees laughing.

Mick couldn’t always make it to training night. He had his own things going on, places to be, and banks to rob. On those nights, Leonard took over the training, teaching Barry how to use his head properly when he was in the middle of a fight. 

Unfortunately, Barry wasn’t as intimidated by him as he was by Mick, and he seemed way too excited to face him on the mat.

Leonard chuckled. “What are you thinking, Barry?”

“Nothing,” he said, glancing away as his cheeks brightened.

“You’re thinking about me wrestling around with you, aren’t you? Think again,” he said as he flicked Barry’s forehead. “Now, pay attention, because this is what’s really going to help you win some fights. What do you remember me telling you about magic tricks and sleight of hand?”

Barry’s eyebrows furrowed as he thought back. “Distract them?”

“Exactly. Well done,” Leonard praised, and Barry perked up. “I’m going to teach you feints, which are very similar and it’s the best way to catch your opponent off-guard. Now, get into position.” 

He waited until Barry got his fists up, one to jab and one to guard. “Good, now you’re going to start moving your dominant hand out like you’re going to punch.”

Slowly, Barry shoved his fist forward. 

“Perfect. While your opponent's attention is on that fist, they’re going to protect against it like this,” he said, moving to block it. “Then, you hook with your left. Or, if they’re still guarding there, you kick or knee them instead.”

“Oh,” Barry said and hooked his left hand. As his fist gently connected with Leonard’s cheek, he pretended to be knocked back by it. Barry giggled and continued fake punching him, following through with his right into his stomach. 

“Nice shot, Barry,” he gushed as he ruffled Barry’s hair. “The most important thing is directing your opponent’s attention so you can strike from another angle. The next thing you can do is look for any weaknesses and exploit them. See a bandage on his arm? Smack him there. Is he wearing glasses? Swipe them off and put him at a disadvantage.”

Barry stepped back, frowning to himself. “But those are cheap shots, aren’t they?”

“Isn’t it cheap of him to beat down on kids smaller than him? He’s using his height and strength as his advantage, so you’ve got to even the playing field. If he doesn’t like that, he shouldn’t have started the fight in the first place. I will say though that kicking him in the nuts is a cheap shot. I’d only resort to that if he’s really hurting you, like if he’s got you pinned down and you can’t breathe or he’s breaking your arm.”

“Okay… I don’t think Tony has any weaknesses.”

Leonard laughed softly. “Everyone has weaknesses. Not all of them are physical. You might want to observe Tony as much as possible to try to figure them out.”

“You want me to stalk him?” Barry asked, looking skeptical.

“Not stalk, just be observant and don’t get caught or he’ll beat you down right then.”

Barry was contemplative as he nodded slowly. “Okay, I’ll try.”

“Good. For now, let’s keep working on feints. We need you to be so good at them that they come naturally, and you’ll be able to move as fast as you can think. Maybe even faster.”

Barry put on the mean face he’d been working on with Mick and got into position. “Ready!”

Leonard fought back a smile. He was glad Barry was taking it seriously. He just hoped that it would pay off in the end.

Present

Leonard’s smile softened as he gazed at Barry on the bed. “And it did pay off eventually.”

“I was there,” Iris murmured, thinking back to the triumphant day Barry was able to knock Tony Woodward to the ground. That was the day Barry became a hero to all the kids Tony had picked on and if it hadn’t been for him, they would have all pounced on Tony and beat him to a pulp. “I’ll never forget how strong he looked. Not muscley strong, but proud and determined. Tony was stunned, and Barry just looked down at him and said, ‘No more, Tony.’ And that was it. He still tried to pick on some kids, but Barry would always come to their defense.”

Leonard hummed. “He’s always stronger than people think.”

“Yeah,” Iris agreed. She shook her head, remembering how surprised they were that Barry had finally won a fight. Her dad couldn’t have been prouder when he found out that Barry didn’t use the situation to his advantage. When they asked him how he’d been able to do it finally, he had said some older kids had helped teach him to fight better. To think those older kids were fully grown adults and criminals. 

She glanced at Leonard. He was still staring at Barry, but his smile had faded away. With the lull in his story, his worry had set back in, and it reminded Iris how tired he looked, just as tired as she was. He probably needed a break, but she didn’t know how much time they had. She couldn’t help wanting to know more.

“Earlier, you had said there were two times Barry didn’t want to come over and that was the first one. What happened the second time?”

To her surprise, Leonard’s face pinched with pain. He swallowed hard and without looking away from Barry, he said, “The second time… that time was my fault.”

“You hurt him?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to. It was a few years after that first time, too. For the most part, the times we shared with Barry were the happiest Lisa and I had ever experienced. We were this little makeshift family, and Mick became part of that, too.

“As I had predicted, Mick had a soft spot for Barry. Not because he was cute or needed help, but because he was willing to fight back. He didn’t give up, even when it was hard. For Mick to be impressed, he’s gotta see some grit, and Barry had that in spades.

“Years and years went by, and we watched Barry grow up. He went from being a middle school peanut to a tall, gangly high schooler. His enthusiasm for learning or discovering the mysteries of the universe never faded, but what did wane was his confidence.

“When I started seeing it, it was a hard blow. I loved seeing his cockiness, especially when he assumed that one day he’d grow up and I would fall in love with him. It was cute and charming, not that I thought he was right.”

He paused and drew in a deep breath. As he released it, it shuddered a little. It sounded like it was painful, but that could have been the somber expression on Leonard’s face. 

“He was around seventeen when he refused to see us the second time, and when I found out why… Well, the problem wasn’t as easy to solve as it had been the first time around.”

2007

“He’s not coming.”

Leonard paused as he gathered up the blueprints for the Central City Museum, plans for his next heist. He always put them away before Barry came over, not wanting him to catch wind of anything that could implicate him as an accessory. He stared at Lisa, waiting for her to continue, but she just kept looking down at Barry’s text.

“What do you mean he’s not coming? Is he sick?”

“I just asked him that, hold on.” They waited in silence until her phone buzzed again and when it did, Lisa frowned. “He said he’s not sick, just tired and he has a lot of studying to do.”

“Call him.”

“Why?”

“Something’s wrong. Even if he was tired, he’d come over. Even if he had studying to do, he’d just squeeze it in before or after. Hell, sometimes he brings his work over. Something’s up and he’s not telling us what it is.”

Lisa groaned and held up her hand. “Let me text him to see if I can call him. Joe or Iris might be right beside him, you know.”

“Fine.”

As she texted him back, Leonard kept himself preoccupied by rolling up the blueprints and gathering his notes, taking them into his bedroom. He’d been in that apartment for years, but there were hardly any decorations, just different boxes strewn about holding either mementos he’d collected, tools of the trade, or information for one of his heists. It looked more like a storage room than a bedroom. 

His bed was nice at least. He valued good sleep, and one luxury he afforded himself was an exceptional mattress, firm pillows, and a high-quality sheet set. The gun he kept under the pillow was also good quality and had never failed him yet, not that he’d used it since promising Barry he wouldn’t kill anyone. There was nothing on his bedside table except for charging cords and a single photo frame, one of him and Lisa with Barry sandwiched between them. 

Leonard dropped the plans into an empty box and picked the frame off the table. His stomach coiled into a knot as he gazed at Barry’s younger face, radiating joy. He didn’t know many people who would want to be sandwiched between two Snarts, but Barry loved it. He didn’t think he was overreacting now that he suddenly didn’t want to come over. It was so unlike him…

“He’s calling, Lenny!” Lisa shouted, and Leonard set the frame down quickly and hustled into the living room. By the time he got there, Lisa had already answered it and was listening to what he was saying. 

“Are you sure that’s all it is, Teddy Bear?” she asked tenderly. “I mean, I know how important your exams are, but you need a break, too. We’ll rejuvenate you.”

Leonard watched as she frowned at whatever he was saying, and he felt the knot in his stomach coil even tighter. When she caught his eye, she shrugged. He shook his head and gestured for her to hand it over.

Sighing, she said, “Hold on, Barry. Lenny wants to talk to you.” She paused, listening to what he was saying instead of just handing the damn phone over. She snickered and said to Lenny, “He doesn’t want to talk to you.”

She may as well have slapped his face. 

“Excuse me?”

“He said you’ll just make a big stink.”

“I will not. Hand it over.”

“Sorry, Barry. I think he’ll make a bigger stink if he doesn’t talk to you.” Handing the phone to Lenny, she gave him a pointed look and whispered, “Don’t be weird.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he whispered back. Raising the phone to his ear, he said, “Who hurt you?”

Lisa groaned and dropped her head into her hands. On the other end, however, he heard Barry’s soft laughter, and he felt a little relief in his stomach.

“Nobody hurt me, Lenny. Why would you jump straight to that?” Barry asked, sounding a little out of breath.

“Because the last time you didn’t want to come over, it was because you were being bullied.”

“I was a kid, Lenny. I’ve got different problems now.”

You’re still a kid, he wanted to say, but he held his tongue. See? He was growing.

“Like what kind of problems?” He waited for a reply, but all he got in return was an annoyed huff. “Are you keeping something from us?”

As Barry groaned into his ear, Lisa mouthed, STOP BEING SO WEIRD. He didn’t think he was being weird. Just a concerned… friend. Pseudo family member. Whatever they were to Barry. It was natural that he’d be worried.

“Do you tell me everything, Lenny?”

“Huh?”

“You. Do you tell me everything that’s going on with you? You’re planning a job right now, right?”

Leonard pressed his lips tightly and glanced at his closed bedroom door. “How do you know?”

“I can always tell. There’s this kind of tension you and Lisa have when you’re planning, excited, and careful, you’re more tight-lipped about what you’ve been doing all day, and the apartment’s cleaner. You probably brush it all away right before I get there.”

“Alright, smart ass, but it goes both ways. We know when something’s up with you, too.”

“But I’m not allowed to keep it to myself? Don’t you trust me, Lenny?”

He swallowed hard. Of course, he trusted Barry. The kid could take care of himself, but he had never kept himself so closed off from them before.

“I do,” he replied softly. “And you are allowed to keep some things to yourself. It’s just that you usually don’t, and that’s why we’re worried.”

“I know,” Barry sighed. 

Leonard listened to his rhythmic heavy breaths, and in the absence of Barry’s voice, he could hear his footsteps on the pavement and the sound of a car driving by. He didn’t know what to say. It would be mature of him to just let it go, let Barry have some time to work through whatever it is, and wait for him to come back to them. What he really wanted to do was reach into Lisa’s cell phone and pull Barry straight through so he could hug him.

“I’ll be over in a little bit.”

Barry had said it so quietly that Leonard nearly missed it. 

“What?”

“I’m coming over, but I’m not sure how long I can stay.”

“That’s fine. Whatever you’re comfortable with,” Leonard said as he ran his hand through his hair. “Do you want some coffee?”

“Sure… If you’re making some.”

“Okay, see you soon.”

As soon as he lowered the phone, Lisa snatched it out of his hand. “Idiot,” she muttered and stuck the phone in her pocket. 

Leonard didn’t answer as he followed her into the kitchen. They fell into their usual routine they had whenever Barry came over, Lisa pulling out Barry’s favorite snacks while Leonard prepared his drink, which lately had been coffee. Just another sign Barry was growing up fast, faster than Leonard’s brain could keep up. 

“Stop moping, Lenny.”

“I’m not moping.”

She huffed and put her hand on her hip. “You’re watching the coffee drip into the pot.”

“So? What else is there to do?”

“Hey,” she said softly as she reached out and tugged on his sleeve. “He never really needed us, you know. Not even when he was a kid. He’s always been a smarty pants, and if he was ever in over his head, he had the Wests for support. And now he’s almost an adult, Lenny. You gotta back off a little.”

“I know you’re right, it’s just… Barry has never wanted me to back off. He thinks it’s sweet when I’m protective, and he’s just as affectionate as he was when he was a kid.”

“Which is why you need to pick up on cues for when he does need space, like right now. He’s made it clear that whatever he’s going through, he doesn’t want or need our help. And it’s probably not even a big deal! Maybe he’s embarrassed.”

“He doesn’t need to be embarrassed about anything.”

“He doesn’t, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t. You remember being a teenager, right? I know it was back in the stone ages for you, but—”

She ducked as he swatted a magazine at her head. That was a valid point though. He had a horrible time during his teenage years, going through juvie, a little high school, and then dropping out. He was busy trying to survive and take care of Lisa at the same time, and the world always seemed against him. Add onto that being a hormonal, angsty teenager. Nope, he didn’t want to remember those years at all.

They both turned as there was a distinctive knock on the door, a secret knock known only to them and two other people. Leonard moved before Lisa could and swung the door open. Barry almost always threw his arms around him the instant he was in view, but this time he stood there and motioned at his body. 

“See? I’m okay.”

But he wasn’t. He looked fine, he was even smirking at him, but the amusement didn’t reach his eyes and his body looked a little stiff. Barry sighed heavily and lifted the side of his shirt.

“Fine, I have one bruise, but that’s from dodgeball,” he said, pointing out the small bruise on his narrow waist. “You going to go kill that ball, Lenny?”

Leonard knew he couldn’t push it, not when Barry seemed to be trying hard to act normal, so he grinned. “I may. Did it have any distinctive markings on it? If not, your gym class might find a whole bin of deflated balls on Monday.”

Barry snorted, dropped his shirt, and came in for the hug Leonard was waiting for. Leonard wrapped him up tightly and sighed. Barry was still stiff, but at least he didn’t avoid him completely. He did release him a whole two seconds earlier than normal, and he didn’t make any more quips to him as he rushed away to hug Lisa. 

Leonard narrowed his eyes at his back, observing the way his entire body relaxed when Lisa wrapped her arms around him. It was subtle, but there were distinct differences in the way Barry was acting around her rather than him. When Lisa caught his eye, however, she glared at him and mouthed, stop being weird. 

So, he shook it off and changed tactics, which was attempting to act completely normal. If Barry could do it, so could he. The only difference was that Barry knew why they were both trying to act normal instead of just being normal.

As he got some coffee, Barry reiterated that he couldn’t stay long, so they couldn’t pick a long movie to watch. His story about being tired checked out. Leonard spotted dark circles under his eyes, he was moving sluggishly, and as he drank his coffee, he hummed as if it were nectar from heaven.

They settled on the sofa in their usual spots, Barry not hesitating to take the center cushion, which was normal. But then he leaned straight back, keeping his body facing forward instead of immediately leaning against Leonard’s shoulder. Not normal. The intermittent conversation throughout the movie was normal, so normal that it seemed a little forced. 

His attention was so fixed on Barry that he nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and sighed, seeing that it was a member of his crew for the upcoming heist. 

“You can take it,” Barry whispered. As Leonard glanced up at him, Barry smiled with a warmth that reached up to his eyes, maybe even higher. “I don’t mind.”

Leonard grasped his shoulder and squeezed it. “Thanks. I’ll be right back.”

He answered it quietly and slipped into his bedroom. It was a good thing he’d taken it; his guy had picked up on a rumor that the museum was going to be switching around a few of its exhibits, and that could change their whole game plan. After talking a few minutes, Leonard hung up and began to open the door quietly. When he heard Barry and Lisa talking, however, he stopped, keeping the door open just a crack, and leaned toward it to listen.

“...not a big deal. I already knew it was just a shock.”

“Barry, honey, it doesn’t make much sense to me unless you tell me what you saw.”

Barry sighed heavily. “It’s stupid… I was out last night with Iris, we went to see a movie together, and while we were walking away from the theater, I saw Lenny leaving a bar with some guy.”

Leonard stiffened. He had gone out last night, feeling the tension from the upcoming heist and was desperate to relieve it. He found someone easily, a nice-looking guy, too, but it was just a bit of quick fun and Leonard didn’t even stay the whole night at the hotel. He didn’t even remember the guy’s name.

“Look, I know Lenny does that. He’s a sexy, charming guy in his prime—”

This kid, Leonard thought, shaking his head. 

“—I’ve known for years, so it’s not a surprise. I just… didn’t necessarily want to see it. I guess that was childish though, right?”

“Aw, Teddy Bear,” Lisa said, probably giving him a hug. 

“It caught me off-guard,” Barry continued softly. “Especially since the guy was really hot. I’m fairly sure that the hot gene skipped a generation in my family, so maybe my kids will have a chance, but I know I’m not. And-And that’s okay, I’m okay with being a beanpole and a nerd, but I guess I was hoping I would have grown out of that by now, so maybe one day… You’d think I would have realized by now that it’s never going to happen.”

“Barry, I don’t have a clue if Lenny would ever feel that way about you, but I can tell you this: he probably doesn’t give two shits about that guy he slept with last night.”

Leonard shook his head. He definitely didn’t. 

“And while Lenny still thinks of you as a kid right now, he loves you so much! Lenny hardly loves anyone. He hardly likes anyone, but he’s crazy about you. He’d burn the world for you.”

He nodded, very thankful that his sister was there and that she knew what she was talking about.

Barry huffed out a sad-sounding laugh. “I don’t want him to burn the world for me. The world is harsh and unfair, but I still love it and love the things it’s given me. What I really want from Lenny is the one thing he can’t give me.”

“... Yeah,” Lisa agreed quietly.

“But seriously, I am okay. Like I said, I knew he did stuff like that, it was just a shock seeing it, and I felt like my heart had just fallen through my feet and had disappeared down the sewer grate I was standing on… but I’m not going to die from it. I just needed more than 24 hours between seeing that and then seeing Lenny again like this. Next week would have been perfect.”

“Oh, I see. Sorry that we put so much pressure on you.”

“You didn’t, Lenny did.”

Leonard scrunched up his face, mentally cursing himself. He felt like such an asshole, but he didn’t know Barry had seen him at the time. The crush Barry had on him never seemed to get in the way of their friendship before. It was only something Barry brought up once in a while, like in moments when Leonard admired him in an outfit or when Barry sang beautifully to a song on the radio, and Barry would grin at him and remind him that he still had a standing invitation to kiss him whenever he wanted, to which Leonard usually smacked the back of his head or pushed him away playfully. 

But Barry was getting older, getting closer to an age where it would be more acceptable for them to date, but that wasn’t how Leonard felt about it. He never once considered that he would date Barry, and a part of him thought Barry understood that, despite the teasing. Barry did understand that, based on what he’d been telling Lisa, but Leonard knew that there was still a part of him that was hopeful. 

And Leonard had just gone and stomped on his heart just to have a quick fuck. If only he’d known. It was fun last night, but not worth diminishing Barry’s confidence. He wished he could go back in time and kick his ass. That would be preferable to Barry being hurt.

“Oh, and that wasn’t the only thing that happened last night,” Barry said, groaning.

“What happened?”

“While I was standing there on the sidewalk, watching Lenny and that guy get in a cab together like some idiot, Iris noticed. She asked me what was wrong, and she saw who I was looking at. I panicked and… I outed myself to her.”

Lisa gasped, echoing Leonard’s sentiments. “What did she say?” 

“She was shocked. She asked about all the girls I’ve had crushes on in the past, and I explained that I was bisexual… not that any of those crushes held a candle to my crush on Lenny. It took a while for it to sink in but when it did, Iris smiled and gave me a tight hug. She thanked me for trusting her with it, and then I felt like a dick but there’s so much I haven’t trusted her with.”

“That’s not on you, Barry. It’s on us. I know that if we weren’t worried about the detective, you would have told Iris about us ages ago.”

“Mmm, true.”

“So, how do—” Lisa started, but Leonard chose that moment to finally walk back into the room, trying to make it seem natural. If he waited any longer, it would be obvious that he’d been listening a little. 

They both turned when he came in, and he paused just outside the doorway. “Should I go back in?”

As Barry smiled back at him, Leonard felt like his heart was going to burst. “No, it’s fine. I was just telling Lisa that I told Iris that I’m bisexual.”

Leonard lifted his eyebrows and headed back to his spot on the sofa. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, she was cool about it, and when we got back home from the movie, we talked even more about it. She promised not to tell Joe yet. I think he’ll be cool with it, but I need a little more time. I may even wait until I move away to college, just so there’s more space between us in case it doesn’t go well.”

Lisa squeezed his shoulder. “I think that’s a good plan. How do you feel now that you’ve told her?”

“I feel…” he began, his eyes trailing to the TV where their movie was still playing, long forgotten. “I feel relieved in some ways. It didn’t bother me that I was keeping that from her, but it was nice to share it with her. She’s even more relieved because apparently, she always felt weird talking about other guys to my face, but now we can check guys out together.”

Leonard chuckled. “That’s if you have the same type, though.”

“We do,” Barry said, shifting his gaze to him. With a smirk, he said, “We both have a thing for bad boys with pretty blue eyes.”

As Lisa broke out into giggles, Leonard chuckled and shook his head. “Cute.”

“I thought so,” Barry said with a wink and then turned away. It was the most normal interaction they’d had all night, and Leonard was overwhelmed with relief. 

“Detective West certainly has his hands full with you two.”

Barry laughed, another balm to Leonard’s aching heart. “You’re not kidding. He’s both relieved and scared that the day is coming when we’re both going to move out.”

“Wish you could move in with us, Teddy Bear,” Lisa said, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m sure that would go over well.”

The conversation naturally turned to Barry’s future and all the colleges he’s already applied to. He was about to enter his senior year and he was signed up to take two or three college courses during the year. After graduating, he planned on staying in a dorm and then eventually moving onto an apartment near campus.

Strangely enough, Leonard knew how West felt. He had the selfish desire to tie Barry to them, but that would be cruel. Barry was meant for greater things, and he needed to go out there and take what he could from the world that had taken so much from him, not that Barry would put it like that. 

More than anything, he needed to experience real love from someone who could give it back to him. It was what he deserved, but Leonard was worried that if he continued their relationship at the rate it was going, Barry would never get over him.

While it wasn’t good that he had been so pushy for Barry to come over, especially since it was his fault, he could tell that it had been good for him to talk to Lisa in private. It had taken the edge off, and Barry was acting normal for real, even when talking to Leonard. 

When they hugged goodbye, there was no more tension in it, and Barry held him the same length he usually did. He did sigh, a resigned one by the sound of it, and he pressed his face into Leonard’s shoulder, just for a moment. A small allowance and Leonard took one of his own, running his fingers through Barry’s hair. 

He knew in his gut that it was the beginning of the end and soon, it would be time for them to go their separate ways.

Present

“Wow,” Iris whispered as she gazed at Leonard closely. “I remember that night clearly, the night Barry came out to me. We were just walking along, talking about the movie we’d just seen, and Barry suddenly stopped. His face was pale like he’d just seen a ghost, but he was just watching two guys get in a cab together. To think one of them was you…”

Leonard hummed with a pained look on his face. “Not my proudest moment.”

“There was nothing wrong with it, though. Barry said that himself.”

“One of my highest priorities has always been to protect Barry. Not just physically, but emotionally as well, and teaching him to look out for himself. I should have been more careful.”

“So, what happened then? Barry went to college?”

“No, I left Central City a few months later, and I didn’t come back for six years.”

Her eyes widened. “Six years?! Why did you stay away so long? Barry must have been heartbroken when you left.”

“He was,” Leonard answered softly. “He begged me to reconsider, especially when I said that we couldn’t stay in contact.”

“Are you kidding me?” She cried, feeling incensed on Barry’s behalf. Leonard didn’t reply, just staring back at her with his sad blue eyes. She fumed and asked, “How could you do that to him? Look, I get it, you didn’t want him to hold onto you, but he’s lost his mom and his dad. Whether or not he needs you, Barry gets so attached to people. If all these stories that you’re telling me are true, then you should know that better than anyone. I can’t imagine how devastated he… was,” she trailed off, suddenly thinking back to that time in high school. 

It had been around the time Barry had come out to her, that year at least. She’d seen Barry go through break ups and he was always a little down afterward, but she’d never seen him so heartbroken as the time a friend of Barry’s cut him out of his life. Her vision blurred as she remembered the way he’d cried. 

“I know how much that hurt him,” she said, wiping her eyes. “I remember it. How could you do that to him?” 

She stared at him, waiting for a slew of excuses, but they never came. Leonard rubbed his chest, the kind of soothing touch a person does when they’re in physical pain. 

Swallowing hard, he said, “I thought at the time it was the best thing, and I wasn’t leaving him alone. Lisa was still here, and I was leaving her behind as well. She took it better than Barry did and even though she missed me, she was ready for a little independence. 

“Before I left, I told Barry that even though he couldn’t have my new number, he could tell Lisa to get ahold of me if he needed me, but only for an emergency.  I promised him I’d be back after a few years… I didn’t even expect that I’d be gone as long as six.”

“Why was it that long? Where did you go?”

Leonard sighed and gazed at Barry. “I had gotten a call from one of my dad’s old buddies. He’d written my dad off because, let’s face it, my dad’s not just a horrible human being and a father, he’s also a terrible thief. But his old buddy knew that I had a lot of talent, so he asked me to be part of this scheme he was planning. 

“We’d travel to different parts of the country, lifting priceless works of art and jewelry. At every point, we’d pick up a new crew, pay them off when the job was done, and move on. It was difficult for the cops to track us, and the old man had a lot of good contacts to help him sell off the goods and launder the money for us. It was just what I needed, and I don’t think I’d be such a good thief now if it wasn’t for the time I spent on the road.”

“Did you miss Barry at all?”

Leonard scoffed. “Every damn day. I missed both him and Lisa. Mick, I had brought along for a few of those jobs but the last time, it went kind of sour and we… we had a bit of a falling out. I didn’t speak to Mick for a long time after that. As soon as I came back in contact with Barry, he scolded me and demanded that I make up with Mick,” he added with a slight quirk of the lips. “I was obstinate until… until this,” he said as his face fell. “I didn’t even make up with Mick. Lisa called him to tell him what happened to Barry, and he just showed up two days ago. We—"

They both stiffened as a loud tune came from her purse. 

“Sorry, that’s mine,” Iris said, digging it out. Her heart raced as she saw her dad’s name on the screen. She whispered, “It’s my dad.”

“Answer it, but don’t tell him I’m here.”

Iris nodded and accepted the call. “Hey, Dad. I’m in Barry’s hospital room.”

“Good, how’s he doing?”

“He’s stable at the moment. Not flatlining, and the lights are still on.” 

Across the room, she saw Leonard grimace. She wondered if he even knew how close Barry had come to dying over the past few days. 

“Thank goodness for that,” Joe said with a heavy sigh. “Look, I’ve got a couple guys volunteering to handle my shift tonight, so I should be over there in a little bit. You want anything?”

“Coffee,” she said immediately. “And maybe something to eat. Nothing heavy. Not sure my stomach could handle it.”

“Yeah, I hear ya. I’ll be over soon, sweetie.”

“Thanks, Dad. See you soon.” She hung up and gave Leonard a sad smile. “He’s coming over, but he should be a bit if he’s picking some things up for me.”

Leonard shook his head. “I don’t want to take a chance of running into him, so I’ll leave now. Just… Is it okay if I say goodbye to him real quick?”

“Sure, go ahead. I have a few people to get back to,” she said, holding up her phone. There were a few texts that had come through while she’d been talking to him, a couple from classmates, one from her manager at Jitters, and one from an old friend. 

He nodded and quietly moved his chair closer to Barry’s side. As he leaned over to him and began talking softly, Iris went back to her phone, giving him a little privacy. She smiled as she read through the texts, all of them infused with support and well-wishes. Almost all of them had a tag on the end, though, reminding her of something she needed to do, which was annoying. She wondered how many of those people actually cared that her brother had almost died.

“…be back as soon as I can… Don’t give up, Barry, not even for a moment.” 

Iris bit her lip but didn’t look up. Leonard’s voice was breaking, and if she hadn’t already believed him from his stories, she believed him now. It was all she could do to hold back her tears.

“Don’t worry about me, Lisa and Mick have my back. They’re keeping me from doing anything stupid… You know, besides sneaking into your hospital room. I have to go now, but you’re not alone. Iris is here and West is on his way… Barry, just come back to me,” he whispered, and in the corner of her eye, Iris saw him lean down and press his forehead against Barry’s. “You cracked my chest open and wiggled your way inside… You can’t leave it like this, just a gaping hole. Come back to me.”

The last bit was almost imperceptible as he had buried his lips into Barry’s hair and kissed him. He said something else that Iris couldn’t catch, but somehow, she knew that he was telling Barry that he loved him. 

Iris reminded herself to breathe and as she dragged the air through her lungs, it felt unnatural. People always said that life was unfair, and she knew that. Her mom died when she was so little that she hardly remembered her. But what Barry was suffering went beyond unfair, it was unbearable. It made it even harder knowing that Barry had someone who loved him so much that he braved the wrath of Joe West just to sit at his bedside and beg him to come back.

Leonard stood quickly, grabbed a baseball cap, slipped it on, and grabbed a parka off the back of the chair. As he put it on, he stopped at the edge of the bed and looked at Iris.

“Thank you for letting me stay for a little while longer.”

“Of course. Thanks for telling me about you and Barry. Or at least some of it,” she added with a wry smile. It was obvious that what he’d told her was just the tip of the iceberg. 

“Thanks for listening, and not stabbing me,” he said, smirking. Taking one last longing look at Barry, he asked softly, “Can you look after him for me? Keep telling him not to give up?”

“I will. And, um, I won’t tell my dad about you,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “At least not yet.”

He turned back to her and studied her closely for a moment with his eyebrows pinched together. Licking his lips, he said, “I appreciate that, and I know Barry will, too. Goodbye, Miss West.”

“Goodbye, Leonard.”

With a small, sad smile, he nodded and left the room. It was too quiet now. She didn’t like hearing just the quick beeping of Barry’s heart monitor or his shallow breaths. It was good that her dad was coming over, but she wished she could have spoken to Leonard for a bit longer. 

She put the sharp tool back on the tray and scooted toward Barry. She stroked his hair and thought about all the things Leonard told her, all the secrets he’d kept from her. He had only done it to protect Lisa and Leonard, though, which was something that Barry would definitely do. Protect and love. 

“How can you protect us, Barry, if you’re gone,” she asked him quietly as her vision blurred. “You heard him, didn’t you? You can’t give up… You have to come back.”