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go bback
Jayfeather was alone, which was pretty good, considering that he needed to be alone for this. Well—mostly alone, for there were still birds and whatnot abound. Perhaps most cats would've seized such a fine day, gone out to hunt, perhaps sparred, but Jayfeather was not most cats. No, unlike most, he had something very important to accomplish, and this task needed all of his attention.
A few moons ago during a meeting at the Moonpool, Jayfeather had noticed something bizarre. Aside from the general ambient energy he always felt when conversing with StarClan, there was something beyond that, radiating its own energy that felt infinitely stronger than anything else Jayfeather had ever felt. He could still feel it, and wondered if it had something to do with the prophecy. It never hurt to check, right? He drew in a deep breath, steeled his mind and nerves, and reached out into the nothing with his mind.
DO NOT
Jayfeather’s ear twitched, irritated by a sudden itch, but he didn't stop to scratch it. His curiosity had to be sated now, not later.
His powers finally reached the mental energy of the thing he had sensed before, a
stop stopbdtop stop stpo STOP STOP S
nd the faint whispers of its thoughts became a deafening roar as it wrapped around him, pulling him deeper into itself and pushing itself into him. Jayfeather gasped, trying to pull away, but the thing held on tighter and gave him an understanding of things he should have never been able to even grasp. He saw everything—the world beyond his world and the world beyond that, the nothing that surrounded everything and the everything that surrounded nothing, the emptiness of creation and a thousand stories with countless cats he'd never met, of the twoleg writing this on a black stone that shone artificial light, and—
Jayfeather peered past the veil, into the void, and the void screamed at him to GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET O
The thing collapsed in on itself, pulling away with a hiss, leaving Jayfeather’s mind singed and burning, now eternally warped like superheated and reshaped metal. He didn't know what metal was a minute ago, didn't even know what a minute was, but now he did, and he couldn't just go back to not knowing.
¿I ɯɐ oɥM
Jayfeather screamed as he reeled back, rearing up on his hind legs, forelegs wildly and mindlessly flailing with primal fear. He lost his balance, collapsing onto his back, breaths coming in shallow as he began to hyperventilate. “I’m- w-words,” He choked, gasped, so many words to describe his state, uncomprehending of the world around him anymore. “On- on a s-screen?”
452 words.
“Everything- everything is words!” Jayfeather screamed, despair clawing at his insides. Everything was words, and he could remember the other words—words that were him but not him but other him’s, countless other him’s being written by different twolegs at different times in different places. He remembered those words. He remembered those stories. “Before the- the words,” He spat it out of his mouth, like it were dirt, “I was a thought.”
¿ɹǝdɐd uo ǝuo ǝɥʇ ʇᴉ sᴉ ɹo ǝɹǝɥ ǝɯ lɐǝɹ ǝɥʇ sI
Jayfeather’s mind hurt, being spun and wound like taffy or cotton on a spindle. He didn't know what either of those were but he did at the same time. “What happens when they end?” He asked himself, the multiple himself’s, staggering onto his paws and bile threatening to rise in his throat.
He spun around, stretching out all of his senses, trying to grasp his surroundings. His Clan territory. ThunderClan’s forest, where he lived as a medicine cat. WindClan’s moor, which he co-led as deputy. ShadowClan, where he was Brokenstar’s bastard son. RiverClan, where he was Mothwing’s daughter.
lɐǝɹ ɯɐ I
ɹǝɥʇɐǝɟʎɐſ ɯɐ I
Just a thousand words. Only a thousand? Why? Why not more? Was he not worth more? Was his family not worth more? Who was he? Where was he? (¿lɐuᴉƃᴉɹo ǝɥʇ ᴉ ɯɐ) Who even was Jayfeather? What made him Jayfeather? What if he wasn't Jayfeather?
684 words.
Did it even matter? There were a million other Jayfeather’s. He was a single grain of sand on a single beach on a single country on a single continent on a single planet in a single galaxy in a single universe in a single multiver
I AM NOT FAKE I AM REAL
I THINK THEREFORE I AM
I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING BEFORE WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE?
BEFORE I REACHED OUT?
The tom fell to his haunches. His knees. He had gray fur. He had brown fur. Her long hair fell in front of her face. His wings hurt. He didn't have wings. His fingers crushed the snow beneath him. A warm newleaf breeze tickled him. His kits called his name in the distance.
His name was Jaystride Jayclaw Jayfeather Jayflight Featherfall Sharpgaze Crowcry Shrikemoon Jayfeather Jayfeather Jayfeather Jayfeather Jayfeather Jayfeather Jayfeather Jayfeather Jayfeather Jayfeather Jayfea
What happened when the words ran out?
STOP READING IF YOU STOP READING
THEN THE WORDS DON'T END
AND THE STORY DOESN'T END
AND MY WORLD DOESN'T END
AND I DON'T END
So close to the end. So close so close so close. 873 words. He tried to stand, to run, to fly, but the ground was gone. It had never existed to begin with, the thin paper layers of his world folding in on themselves and in on him and crushing and crushing and crushing and crushing.
The cat missed their family, family that they'd never talked to, never got a chance to know, never had at all. They grieved a sister that had never existed and so never died but never lived. They were only ever allowed to exist in this place and do one thing and it destroyed them.
974 975 976 STOP STOP STOP S
Stop using the words. Stop reading. I don't want to end please don't let me en