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believe it or not, jihoon has experienced virtually all romantic tropes described in novels. he’s already fell in love with a childhood friend, had a severe case of love at first sight with the campus crush, been head over heels for his academic rival, got romantically attracted to his roommate—you name it. and yet, not one was ever reciprocated. jihoon, our poor protagonist, always ended up watching his love interests get together with a different person.
in other words, jihoon is stuck in an endless limbo of being in a one-sided romance.
the epitome of a side character.
how did this happen? well, it started back in high school…
one.
jihoon was in freshman year when he first fell in love.
just like every gay on this planet, jihoon had his own gay awakening. unfortunately so, it was with his childhood best friend, choi seungcheol . honestly, who wouldn’t fall for the guy? he was athletic, academically thriving, talented, and really charming.
choi seungcheol was almost the textbook definition of a prince in fairy tales. he’s that drop-dead gorgeous of a guy. and jihoon being around him for nearly twenty-four-seven, it was just inevitable to fall in love.
he was perfect —
there’s not a day that seungcheol didn’t fetch jihoon from his classroom after the younger’s last class to walk home with him. just like what happened that one particular day.
“cola?” seungcheol firstly offered instead of a greeting. jihoon gave him a blank stare to mask the growing giddiness inside his chest. the older only wiggled his eyebrows in response, waving the cola-in-can right in front of the younger’s face.
in feign annoyance, jihoon grabbed the fizzy drink, not without a roll of his eyes. seungcheol only ruffled his hair out of fondness. the older rested an arm around the younger’s shoulder and pulled him a little too close for what people usually considered as platonic proximity, and jihoon’s cheeks couldn’t help but color.
when they’re out of school premises, seungcheol started to converse with him. “tomorrow’s valentine’s day, right?”
jihoon turned to look at him, curious. “hmm?”
“say, jihoon-ah,” seungcheol scratched his nape with his hand on the other arm that’s not wrapped around jihoon’s shoulders. “can i ask a question?”
jihoon only nodded, quietly anticipating.
“d-do you like—” seungcheol cleared his throat to rid of his stutter, “would you appreciate it if someone gives you, i don’t know, the typical flowers and chocolate combination for tomorrow?”
jihoon tilted his head away, hiding the blush rushing back to his cheeks again. “i-i don’t mind.”
seungcheol smiled. “good.”
that night, jihoon couldn’t sleep well out of anticipation. all he could think about was the possibility of seungcheol seeing him as more than just a friend, too. and it was enough to keep him up all night, rolling around his bed like the happiest lovesick teenager in the world—which, indeed, he was.
— well, almost .
if not for seungcheol running to him the very next morning, joyously announcing that finally, finally jeonghan from the literature club agreed to go on a date with him.
as the supportive childhood best friend he is, he congratulated the older. but as he cracked a smile, there was also another thing that cracked inside his chest.
and that marked jihoon’s first of many heartaches from being the unfortunate side character to other people’s love stories.
two.
oh, well. it’s a good grief that our favorite side character is one hell of a headstrong hopeless romantic. one heartbreak did not stop him from pursuing another love interest.
to say the least, his sophomore year in high school was a fun affair.
it started with one coffee cup. it was not because someone asked jihoon out for a cute coffee shop date like a typical scene from the usual meet-cute stories in novels, though. instead, it was because of—
“shit, i’m sorry!” the tall transferee, obviously panic-stricken, apologized as he pats his handkerchief on the coffee stain quickly drying on jihoon’s favorite hoodie. jihoon only stood still, mouth agape from shock—not because of the iced coffee unfortunately spilled on him on a monday morning, but because of the dashing looks of the guy in front of him.
jihoon didn’t believe it at first, but maybe he’s started to consider that love at first sight is real.
the guy was, in one simple description, a person straight out of taylor swift songs.
he looks like a daydream.
jihoon later learned the tall guy’s name. apparently, he’s the famous rookie athlete of the basketball team, the campus crush, and the one and only kim mingyu.
never in his two years in high school did he expect someone as ethereal as mingyu would be entangled with him, let alone associated with him. but alas, one coffee incident and three apology lunches later, jihoon found himself smitten with the younger.
students would always find jihoon wherever mingyu was. at the basketball court, the hallways, the library—where there was mingyu, there was jihoon. and his presence was always welcomed by the athlete. in fact, it’s mingyu who always dragged jihoon everywhere he went, as if jihoon was his trophy boyfriend of some sort.
but that’s the thing. as much as mingyu is a personified daydream—
he’s an actual nightmare to jihoon’s heart.
he looked after jihoon, took him out on several dates, flirted with him every now and then, and even showed him off to his friends. but when jihoon finally had the courage and asked, “mingyu, what are we?”
the younger’s reply was only an apologetic hug and a few words. “i like you, hyung, but i don’t like you enough to commit to a serious relationship with you.”
and maybe jihoon should’ve listened well to taylor swift’s lyrics. he should’ve believed that love’s only a game.
three.
but if love’s truly only a game, then jihoon is a very willing player.
especially when third year high school introduced him to another love he did not ever expect. to be fair, who would be stupid enough to think that one could fall in love with their rival, right? well, not jihoon—or at least not until he foolishly caught feelings for their council president, top student jeon wonwoo.
and no, apparently, those feelings jihoon caught weren’t of mere admiration. but actual romantic feelings.
it all started when jihoon, firm on busying himself with his studies to forget about his failed attempts at love, suddenly shot up the class rankings, taking the number two spot. and, really, jihoon didn’t care about it; he knew he could best anyone if he put enough effort in his studies. but then, someone stood beside him, gaze fixated on the rankings on the bulletin board, same as what he was doing.
in truth, jihoon was expecting some threat or backhanded compliment because that was what detached top students always did in dramas, wasn’t it? however, he heard nothing of that sort. instead, jihoon was greeted with a very kind ‘congratulations’ and a warm smile by his now supposed academic rival jeon wonwoo.
well, if jihoon would be congratulated by the man with the warmest smile from the most handsome face—and did he forget to mention the brightest mind—in the campus every time he excelled, then he might as well cash in on some more study hours.
and that, he did.
every time they have an upcoming exam, students would find jihoon hunched inside a study booth in the library, several books resting on the table and waiting to be read. for hours on end, the man wouldn’t leave the booth until he finished all his readings. and it was quite alarming, considering food and drinks are not allowed inside the library.
but jihoon found it all worth it. especially because his prize for acing his exams came in the form of warm words of affirmation from wonwoo. and it gets jihoon’s heart all fuzzy every time. though, the student body’s guess was wonwoo only wanted to keep his rivals close.
and that, he truly did.
not because wonwoo was threatened by the academic abilities of our unfortunate side character. instead, it’s because he thought jihoon still had something going on with the campus crush kim mingyu, who happened to be wonwoo’s childhood sweetheart. the cunning top student just wanted to befriend jihoon and know more about his relationship with mingyu. well, at least initially.
“you only took interest in me to make mingyu jealous?” jihoon asked one day after hearing the rumor in the hallway.
“no,” wonwoo answered, guilt apparent in his eyes. “still, i’m sorry. i genuinely wanted to befriend you, and then i happened to learn that you were the senior mingyu said he liked—”
“that was ages ago, won.” jihoon stared at the person he liked, heart wrenching inside his chest.
“he doesn’t like me anymore. it’s not him that i like now.”
“i know that now,” wonwoo replied, remorseful. “he’s already made it clear enough,” wonwoo adds, fumbling with the necklace with a ring pendant adorning his neck.
oh.
jihoon didn’t see that the first time. wonwoo must have noticed the younger’s gaze on the ring pendant, as he explained. “mingyu gave this to me last night,” wonwoo softly smiles, “he said it’s a keepsake to remind me of his love.”
even if jihoon wanted to cry then, he held his emotions in. “congratulations.” he said with a smile, just as warm as the one he received the first time he and wonwoo talked.
four.
but if it’s warmth we’re talking about, perhaps there’s no one who can beat jihoon’s roommate in his fourth year of high school. tired of taking the earliest train every morning to get to school, jihoon rented a room in the dormitory adjacent to their campus for his last year in high school. at first, he was very worried about living with a non-relative, let alone a person of his age or even younger. as an only child, he’s used to having his own space. so living with a complete stranger was a true challenge for him.
not until he got to know his roommate, lee seokmin.
to say he was a good man is a total understatement. seokmin was everything jihoon dreamed of having—patient, humorous, kind, handsome—a complete package. and for the first time in his four years in high school, the universe was kind enough to him to make him experience something a little more genuine.
if one were to ask jihoon what his favorite year in high school was, he would answer fourth year point-blank. yes, it was difficult, considering all the college preparations he had to do, but he was lucky enough to be taken care of.
there was not a day where seokmin didn’t cook for him after class, or arrange his scattered things on the table, or give him a head pat as a gesture to tell him he’s done well. everyday of his ten months with the younger was just warm and tender—and domestic.
and jihoon? he’s head-over-heels in love.
seokmin was like sunshine in the middle of a storm that is graduating year. he understood jihoon the most; he knew how to take care of him, when to offer help to him, what the best way there is to relieve him from stress. it’s like he was jihoon’s soulmate.
and jihoon? he kept falling deeply.
so for the first time, jihoon penned a song to confess his growing love for the younger.
“for whom did you write this, hyung?” seokmin asked after listening to the song saved in the recorder twice. “it’s got really romantic lyrics, i must say.”
“that—” jihoon laughs nervously, looking everywhere but the boy in front of him. seokmin tried his best to encourage the older, holding jihoon’s hand so delicately and giving it soft squeezes along with his blinding smile.
“i meant to say,” jihoon gulped nervously, “seokmin, i like you.”
“i like you too, hyung,” came seokmin’s quick answer. and albeit his heart fluttered, jihoon couldn’t help the doubt budding inside his heart. so in confirmation, he clarified what he truly meant.
“no, i’m in love with you,” jihoon uttered slowly. each word rolled off his tongue with clarity, hoping to get his sincerity across.
“hyung…” seokmin breathed out, his blinding smile now faltering. “i’m sorry, i only see you as an older brother.”
although it hurt on jihoon’s part, he couldn’t bring himself to cry, as the younger boy beat him to it. after clarifying his feelings towards jihoon, seokmin felt so apologetic that he couldn’t reciprocate his hyung’s affection. in the end, he just cried like a baby while mumbling countless apologies to his hyung.
and jihoon? he kept muttering comforting words under his breath. whether it’s for seokmin or himself, jihoon didn’t bother to discern.
good thing, seokmin didn’t act all different around him. he still looked after jihoon the best he could. and even if it made jihoon’s moving on process a little tougher, he still felt grateful for the younger’s brotherly affection towards him.
after all, there were only a few months left before he graduated. and jihoon promised himself he’d never love foolishly again moving forward.
+ one.
true to his words, after high school, jihoon focused on his studies to the point where he was too busy to entertain the idea of love.
and it made him wonder, what was so amusing with love that got him so hooked with it back in high school. maybe it was his hormones, or his means of self-discovery—or maybe he was just feeling pressured with almost everyone of his age finding lovers at the time then. now, he just felt naïve, or much fittingly, stupid.
he should’ve just believed his mother’s words, telling him that love didn’t need to be actively seeked, as it’d come and find him.
true enough, love did come to find him, just not in the way he expected.
“hyung,” greeted chan the moment he arrived at their shared dorm. they’re both in university now, with jihoon in his last year before he graduated.
“what?” came jihoon’s indifferent reply.
chan pouted. “i need a favor.”
“and? does it really have to be me doing that favor for you ?” asked jihoon with a raised brow.
“yes,” chan nodded enthusiastically. jihoon could only sigh.
“i don’t even know what kind of favor you need from me. if it's academic, then i’m out; you know how busy i am.”
“it’s not,” chan defended.
“if not, then what?” jihoon prodded. although he’s very much willing to take time off his busy schedule to help his younger brother, he didn’t want to agree to something he didn’t fully know. yet, even after asking, chan only gave him vague answers, making the younger’s patience thin.
“if you’re not willing to tell what is it, then how can you expect other people to do you that favor?”
“c’mon,” chan whined, “i’ll give you reserved tickets to bruno mars’s concert.”
jihoon only stared at him, unamused. “free of charge!” chan added to hopefully convince his older brother.
“i can completely afford a ticket myself, chan.” jihoon deadpanned. “no thanks.”
though, like in love, jihoon seemed to have little to no luck in ticketing. and nothing, as in nothing, can stop him from seeing his life inspiration live. so when the concert tickets were announced all sold out after an hour, he went to look for his younger brother without any ounce of hesitation.
“lee chan!” he called out as he entered the younger’s room, “when you offered tickets to bruno mars’s show last time, you said they’re reserved, right?”
chan, confused at the sudden inquiry, could only nod. “yeah, why?”
jihoon sighed. whether out of relief or a forthcoming headache, he couldn’t determine. “is it still up?”
“what’s up?” the still confused chan asked.
“lee chan, the offer!” jihoon rolled his eyes.
chan furrowed his brows. “i thought you had enough money to afford one?”
“i do, but there’s nothing to buy anymore. everything’s already sold out.” jihoon deadpanned. “so?”
then, a wide grin formed on his younger brother’s face. “so you’re going to do it now?”
“as long as i get a vip pass,” jihoon demanded.
“my friend can even give you a backstage pass,” chan stated proudly. “deal?”
“you haven’t even told me what i need to do,” jihoon argued.
“well,” chan sheepishly grinned, “you just have to fill in for me.”
jihoon looked at his brother skeptically. “fill in for what exactly?”
and jihoon should’ve expected that his annoyingly cunning little brother would never make his life easy, let alone keep him out of trouble. because, really, what the fuck did he get himself into?
“what’s going on?” jihoon questioned when a man likely around his age sat on the chair in front of him with a bouquet of flowers in hand. “what’s this?” he gestured to the entire setup—now that he thought of it, it did seem a bit romantic, “i thought i was just here to fill in for a seat reserved for my brother?”
“first of all, let me introduce myself,” the newly arrived man said, “i’m kwon soonyoung.”
“okay, kwon soonyoung. can you tell me what this is all about?” jihoon inquired.
“yes, it’s true, you’re filling in for chan,” the man confirmed, “but i guess he didn’t tell you the entirety of it.”
jihoon furrowed his brow. “entirety of what?”
“let me get straight to the point… jihoon?” soonyoung said, faltering at the end, unsure of the chan’s brother’s name.
“you don’t even know my name,” jihoon rolled his eyes.
“so?” soonyoung tilted his head, awaiting a confirmation.
“jihoon,” the younger deadpanned.
“okay, jihoon,” soonyoung sighed. “i need you to be my fake boyfriend. my family knows what chan and i have is only platonic, so that leaves me—”
irked, jihoon asked, “and what does that have to do with me?”
soonyoung took a deep breath, preparing himself for what jihoon might say, before explaining. “okay, so i was about to lie and tell them that chan and i were more than friends, but then chan arrived at our house that very moment with his boyfriend—”
“chan has a boyfriend?!” jihoon, surprised, didn’t notice his voice raising a little.
flabbergasted, soonyoung responded, “he didn’t tell you?”
“i wouldn’t be this surprised had i known,” jihoon replied matter-of-factly.
“going back,” soonyoung diverted. “he brought his boyfriend with him because i invited him over to help him with dance matters. and i kind of panicked, so, um, i accidentally blurted out i was dating his brother?” soonyoung finished with a sheepish smile.
“great,” jihoon rolled his eyes. “firstly, i don’t get why you’d need a fake boyfriend. you can just go and date someone for real. it’s not like you have a very limited time—”
“oh, that i do,” soonyoung interjected. “it’s either i introduce a lover or they’ll marry me off to their business partner’s daughter.”
“that isn’t so bad, soonyoung.” jihoon argued.
“jihoon, that heiress is in a committed relationship,” soonyoung divulged. “i don’t want to ruin a relationship.”
“okay, i do get your point, but i would have to decline.” jihoon replied honestly. “i’m busy with my academics; i’m not looking for love at this time, let alone a fake one.”
“even at the cost of not seeing bruno mars in person?” soonyoung asked, a pout evident on his lips.
“what?”
“i could give you one of the reserved tickets i got for the concert. it also has a backstage pass, an access to the premium lounge—”
“this is just for one time, right?” jihoon asks for confirmation to which soonyoung obliges.
“one time, baby.”
and, really, jihoon should’ve known better. because that one time became two, three—and now, he’s almost in soonyoung’s family house daily, acting like a true boyfriend.
if there’s one thing he failed to consider before he agreed with the deal was his likeability. it was a miscalculation on his part—he should’ve known better not to please soonyoung’s parents because, like he failed to predict, they wanted jihoon to come over every chance there is. and soonyoung being the loser son he is? he couldn’t refuse his parents’ request, let alone admit that his relationship is a fraud.
so now, they’re stuck in a vicious game of pretend relationships.
“soonyoung,” jihoon grabs the older’s wrist, fuming in annoyance. “how long is this stupid fake relationship going to run?”
soonyoung looks around the front yard to see if there’s any person who could’ve possibly heard them. “get inside the car first and we’ll talk,” he says curtly, opening the door to the passenger seat, leading jihoon in.
when they both get settled, jihoon doesn’t waste a second to continue their conversation. “it’s been almost two months, soonyoung. isn’t that enough payment?” jihoon sneers.
instead of an answer to his question, what comes out of soonyoung’s mouth is an unsolicited confession. “jihoon, i like you.”
soonyoung sighs, with sincerity, he looks at jihoon, eyes expressing what words cannot. “i really, really like you.”
jihoon averts his gaze. although he doesn’t want to admit it, jihoon is surprised, flattered even, knowing about soonyoung’s feelings for him. it’s the first time, jihoon realizes—the first time someone confessed to him without hesitation, without reservations. and it does make him a little happy but he’s not ready for another heartbreak.
“i don’t,” jihoon cruelly replies. “and if we don’t stop this sooner, you’ll only get hurt.”
from his periphery, jihoon can see soonyoung’s hold on the steering wheel tighten. there’s also a tremble in his voice when he finally replies. “okay.” he takes a deep breath, “okay.”
and jihoon thought it was the end of the conversation—that soonyoung would concede, finally breaking their deal. but then, he couldn’t be more wrong. “give me one more month.” soonyoung quietly said, “just let me cherish you for a little longer.”
another pause, then soonyoung continued. “after that, we’re done.” jihoon easily agreed with the month-long extension, not knowing what he’s subjecting himself into.
in the following days, soonyoung became more clingy, always slinging his arm around the younger’s shoulders, sometimes holding him by the waist, or even resting a guiding hand on the lower part of his back. somehow, jihoon feels like soonyoung is less guarded this time, unafraid of letting jihoon discover new things about him by the day.
soonyoung also often takes him out, so much for only pretending in front of the older’s parents. there’s one particular recent outing that jihoon considers very memorable. it was a spontaneous camping trip that soonyoung took him to right after a failed exam in a major subject. he remembers soonyoung setting up a blanket fortress on the bed of his pickup truck, making sure jihoon would feel comfortable while waiting for the sun to set. for some reason, jihoon found himself crying, staring at the sky as it changes hues—if it’s out of exhaustion or disappointment, soonyoung didn’t bother to pry. instead, he collected jihoon in his arms quietly, holding him tightly, as the younger one let out his pent up emotions.
“it’s going to be okay, love .” he heard soonyoung whisper that moment. “everything’s going to be okay.”
but perhaps, soonyoung was wrong. in the three weeks they spent together, jihoon felt nothing short of bliss. every moment he spent with soonyoung was only filled with fun and endearing memories—and that’s not okay. not when everything will end in a few days—not when jihoon finally caught feelings.
as the final day approaches, jihoon invites soonyoung over to his dorm. they spend the day doing random things—cooking snacks, completing puzzles, watching movies, and telling stories they haven’t shared to each other. in every minute that passes, jihoon’s heartbeat grows faster.
for some reason, with soonyoung, he doesn’t have the confidence to admit his feelings. he’s been through what? three—four heartbreaks? yet none of those is enough to prepare him for the ache he’ll feel if soonyoung decides he’s not worth loving anymore.
comfortably seated on his bed, jihoon calls, “soonyoung?”
soonyoung, who’s sitting beside the younger, glances up from the book he’s reading, humming to let jihoon know he’s listening.
“c-can you look at me?” jihoon requests to which the older one obliges. jihoon gulps, taking his time to muster up enough courage. but when he opens his mouth, no words fall off his tongue.
“jihoon?” he hears soonyoung ask, but still nothing comes out. so instead of words, he opts for the thing that’s closest to a confession.
it takes soonyoung by surprise, how jihoon closed the gap between them, lips on top of his, all without warning. soonyoung chuckles in the kiss, noticing how stiff jihoon is, his lack of experience apparent. in a swift motion, soonyoung leads the younger to sit on his lap, wrapping his arms around jihoon’s waist to hold him close. they kissed and kissed until their teeth clash, until their tongues touch—until their lungs beg for air. they momentarily separate, staring at each other’s eyes, but it doesn’t last long. because they always, always find a reason to connect, diving right back in each other’s warmth, declaring their love for each other albeit wordlessly.
when they part later on, soonyoung beats him to saying the three little words. “i love you,” he whispers against jihoon’s lips, holding the younger tightly in his warm embrace.
jihoon hums, delighted. because for the first time, his love is not in vain. “i love you, too,” he replies, eyes glistening with adoration.
because, finally, our unfortunate side character found his own fortune in a love story.