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Pigsy had been tossing and turning all night and at three in the morning he decided to just get up. He figured maybe some fresh air would do him some good, but failing that he could always do some prep for the restaurant.
He didn't make too much effort to get up quietly - Tang slept like the dead after all, he'd have to in order to endure Pigsy's snoring. He couldn't help but roll his eyes when he looked back to see him sprawled out on his back taking up more than his fair share of space and blithely drooling on the pillow. It was at least always amusing that, no matter what, that silly pointed nightcap he wore to sleep always stayed on his head.
He threw on some semblance of clothes and made his way out of his bedroom, closing the door gently behind him. He walked down the hall and stopped and waited in front of MK's door for a moment before continuing on satisfied he had heard his quiet snores.
He made his way up to the roof and pointedly walked past where he stashed his tobacco and instead went and leaned against the wall around the edge of the roof and looked down over the streets. He resisted the urge to glance back, this was not a stressful enough situation to justify smoking.
He sighed and dragged a hand down his face. Why was he like this? He'd literally gone up against nut jobs hellbent on destroying the world, the suggestion of going out on a double date should not be more stressful than that.
And yet here he was - unable to sleep at the very idea that he had to go to some restaurant with Tang, Ma and Liu at some point in the near future. He doesn't even remember the last time he went out anywhere that didn't involve MK in some way.
It's not that he didn't like Ma or Liu either - he'd gotten to know them both decently well since they had returned to Flower Fruit Mountain a couple of months back and they were both nice. He just wasn't sure how to talk to either of them outside of MK or saving the world or general going ons on the island.
The only other thing he knew how to talk about was food and while Ma certainly appreciated a good meal, almost as much as Tang even, he was sure it wouldn't do to talk about his work the whole time.
The fact of the matter was Pigsy had never been good at making friends - Tang and Sandy being the very odd exceptions. He was too loud, too opinionated and he got so worked up so easily - he was just... Too much for most people.
But Tang was really excited to do something so painfully normal for once and he really wasn't asking much at all - even went out of his way to avoid calling it a date so Pigsy wouldn't feel weird about it. Which was a little unnecessary but he appreciated it nonetheless.
He really hoped this wasn't Tang's way of easing him into the idea of going on dates. If Tang wanted to hang out just the two of them somewhere else for a change then he should just say so - as long as he wasn't harbouring the hope these would in any way be romantic ventures then Pigsy would be pretty willing to do whatever Tang wanted.
He was still trying to get used to the fact that he had free time on occasion now as a result of reducing the restaurant's opening hours but he was still at a loss of how to actually spend it. Focusing more on what everyone else wanted to do seemed to be working out so far - he did enjoy getting to spend more time with MK and Sandy.
Hell, he'd even got to spend a bit of time with Mei - letting her goad him into a couple rounds of Monkey Mecha or something similar. Although he winced slightly thinking about how competitive he got. At least he knew Mei could get just as fired up and she wasn't at all intimidated by how he got.
He didn't want to mess this up for Tang and he also didn't want Ma and Liu to have a bad time either. They had been nothing but helpful since they'd returned and he was sure they were quickly on their way to becoming important to MK.
He really didn't want to touch the mess of feelings he had about MK and Monkey King's generals and marshals - they had the potential to be the family that MK should have always had, his doting uncles and aunts, and Pigsy was determined he wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize that no matter how retched it made him feel at times.
He really wished they'd taken him up on the suggestion that he do the cooking and they just hung out at the island or the restaurant - then he could spend more time focusing on cooking and less on trying to socialise. Also a better chance something wouldn't catch his eye that annoyed him - the general public was his livelihood and his greatest aggravation.
His musings were interrupted by his phone buzzing and he rolled his eyes when he saw that Sandy was sending him a slew of cat videos. None of them were strangers to nightmares or sleepless nights anymore unfortunately and this was normally Sandy's habit if he woke up after a bad dream.
Why he sent them to him and not literally anyone else was beyond him but he would dutifully watch whatever he was sent. Some of them could be pretty funny to be fair so it wasn't like it was a hardship.
Maybe a trial run would help soothe some of his nerves. He could ask Sandy if he wanted to go out for tea or something - prove to himself he could handle something so mundane without messing it up and then he'd feel a little better about this "double date". Maybe he could even bring himself to ask Mr. Sociable himself for advice.
So without explaining this to Sandy he messaged back asking if he wanted to go out and telling him he could pick where. The response was immediate and overwhelmingly positive - hundreds of suggestions of where being sent for his approval.
He just reiterated anywhere was fine and he had time tomorrow morning if he did.
----
Tang and MK were not at all suspicious when he told them he was catching up with Sandy this morning and that they'd both find their way to the island later. He's sure if he told them he was going to some café there would have been some raised eyebrows but he decided they didn't need to know.
He couldn't explain why but he felt embarrassed by the whole thing. As if he was trying on the most unflattering hat for all to see. Everyone would take one look at him and stare at him like he was an idiot.
He was unbelievably grateful Sandy was already there - waving at him enthusiastically once he spotted him as if Pigsy could somehow miss the blue giant that had managed to stuff himself into a booth.
He made his way over but he hesitated before he sat down, "Sandy. Wouldn't you prefer to sit literally anywhere else? You can't be comfortable."
Sandy waved him off, "I'm fine! Trust me the tea here is worth a little discomfort! Oh, and they have these little eclairs that are to die for too!"
Pigsy just stared at him before turning away and walking towards the counter, "Yeah, no, I don't think so."
He waved down one of the wait staff, and gestured with his thumb over his shoulder, "You got any better seats for the big guy there? He's going to lose feeling in his legs sitting like that."
She looked a little exasperated, "I think one of us asks him every time he comes in if he's comfortable but he always tells us he doesn't want to make a fuss."
Sandy shrunk slightly under the unimpressed look that Pigsy sent his way. He turned back, "Please, make a fuss. Hell, a couple of crates would make for a better chair and table. What you got to work with? I bet I could throw something together."
She seemed to think it over, "You alright sitting outside?"
He nodded, "Honestly don't know how he managed to fit himself inside in the first place."
She sighed, "With great difficulty - if you give me five I think I can sort something out."
A bit of faffing about later and Sandy wouldn't stop apologising and thanking them for setting up a makeshift table and chairs outside for him - they'd made a small bench out of flat packed crates and then absolutely smothered it in cushions and table cloths to make it both more comfortable and presentable.
The waitress, Xiǎohuā, as he had learnt from Sandy, wouldn't hear it, "Sandy, you stop by all the time this is no trouble at all. I'm just sorry we didn't do it sooner."
He just looked a little bashful, "You're all working hard! I really wasn't that uncomfortable!"
She looked as unimpressed as Pigsy was sure he did and didn't deign to respond, "Sandy knows the menu by heart but you want one brought out?"
In short order they had tea and something sweet to go with it and that feeling of being out of place was slowly crawling back up his spine but like hell he was going to be intimidated by some dainty tea cups and fancy cakes.
He picked up his cup and forced himself to drink it with as much nonchalance as possible.
Sandy smiled and did the same before starting up conversation, "Thanks again, Pigsy. I really was fine but there's no denying this is way better. This place is really close to the youth centre so I stop by a lot. Not that I'm complaining but what's with the change of scenery?"
He shrugged, "Something different. Thought it might be nice." He changed the subject, "What had you up so late last night?"
"Ah, y'know, just some bad dreams. Think I'm still a little on edge from that last mission we went on - few too many close calls for comfort. What about you?"
"Eh. Just couldn't sleep. No big deal. I'm sure I won't have an issue catching up after training later."
Sandy nodded, "Oh yeah, I heard today..."
Honestly, it wasn't too bad. He couldn't always stop himself from stacking up dishes when the tables around them were vacated nor could he resist a snarky comment at something he saw someone doing everyone once in a while but he totally handled this fine. God, he'd spent too much time with MK and Tang - getting anxious over stupid things.
And then his confidence was challenged somewhat by the appearance of a grinning otter demon sneaking up behind Sandy, a finger on her lips and a wink directed at him. Sandy had told him plenty about Veera and despite never having met her he was confident that this was her.
It was hard to believe she was head of a youth centre, she looked more like a mercenary or a pirate and one that loved nothing more than a good scrap.
She stood behind an oblivious Sandy before jabbing him in the side with a "Sain sinut!" The responding shriek had everyone in about a miles radius of them looking at them in alarm but Veera just laughed as she pulled up a chair and Sandy held a hand over his heart as he admonished her, "Veera! I just about had a heart attack!"
She was unapologetic, "Shouldn't have had your guard down, Sininen. You're a stone's throw away from the ship - trouble is always about." She turned to face him, "And this must be the famous Pigsy. Heard a lot about you."
She held out a hand and she had some strength behind her handshake. He responded, "And you must be Veera. Likewise."
Now recovered from his fright, Sandy looked absolutely thrilled the two of them were meeting and it struck Pigsy this was an actual opportunity to practice talking to a friend of a friend and he shouldn't just sit awkwardly while these two caught up but all thoughts of what he could say immediately left his brain.
Thankfully he was saved by Veera explaining, "Was just on the way to the fish market when I spotted you two."
Without thinking he pulled a face, "Bit late for the fish market, ain't it?"
Shit, did that sound judgemental? Too familiar? He didn't get a chance to try and correct himself when Veera bemoaned, "You're too right it is. Normally I'm there the crack of dawn but I couldn't make it. Luckily I know a guy. He'll have kept something decent aside for me. Or at least he damn well better have."
Sandy looked exasperated, "Are you threatening the dock workers again?"
"No idea what you're talking about. Why would I need to threaten anyone? I just smile nice and they trip over themselves to help me out."
She demonstrated said smile and it was full of sharp teeth and menace. Pigsy snorted, "Oh yeah, that's a smile that gets a guy's heart racing alright."
Her grin became only slightly less terrifying, "See, yer man gets it."
Sandy just shook his head good naturedly, "What had you held up this morning? Nothing you hate more than missing the best catch of the day."
"Ugh. You're telling me. Next door neighbour's stupid bird escaped into the close and he wouldn't let anyone open the front or back door until we caught it. He made such a commotion half the building was up. You should have seen Rva. Rén! Ha! She was ready to beat him and that damn bird to death with her broom. And I'll tell you, her being eighty means nothing when she's got that lethal thing in her hands."
She then proceeded to tell them in great, and surely exaggerated, detail the coordinated plan of attack they'd put together after many failed attempts to catch this bird. He and Sandy were near enough in stitches by the time she was done.
She'd only just finished when her phone started going off and she swore as she read the message, "For fucks sake, I need to get back to the ship - looks like it's going to be one of those days."
From what Pigsy had heard it was always one of those days for Veera - never a dull moment. Sandy offered, "How about me and Pigsy go pick up your lunch? We can drop it off for you."
She stood and slapped his arm, "Sandy, do that and drinks are on me next time." She turned to him, "You too. I've been dying to meet the man this guy's always raving about. Let's get a proper chat next time."
A little awkwardly he responded, "Uh, I don't drink."
She laughed, "You're drinking tea, aren't you?" She looked up as if asking for forgiveness before saying, "I know some decent non-alcoholic beers. I could get some in if you don't fancy hitting the town. I'll tie in with Sandy and we'll sort something out - I want the uncensored versions of all this hero business!"
Sandy looked ecstatic, "Great idea!"
"Hey, they don't call me captain just 'cause I look the part, y'know."
She shook Pigsy's hand again, "Good meetin' you. Absolutely owe you for the fish run. Don't be a stranger if you ever see me down at the docks. Any friend of Sandy's is a friend of mine."
And just like that she was gone again and Sandy smiled fondly after her before turning to face him a little sheepish, "Sorry I volunteered you to pick up Veera's shopping."
Pigsy just started stacking dishes to take inside, "Don't even worry about it. We've got time before we need to be at the island. Let me just deal with this and then we'll go."
Once they were on their way Pigsy snorted, "You weren't exaggerating about Veera - she's something else."
Sandy laughed, "Pigsy, you don't know the half of it! I swear some of her stories make Monkey King's seem tame! I always knew you two would get on! No pressure but we should totally have a get together just the three of us. She'll be totally fine with it being a sober thing. She's fine with just about anything as long as she gets a story out of it!"
Honestly, didn't sound half bad. He's not sure he had the social battery to handle a night out but if it was just for a couple of hours then it might be alright. Veera sounded like she could talk for all of them and it sounded like it would make Sandy's day. Still, despite that brief but pretty successful first meeting he couldn't help but worry a little.
"If you usually go for drinks I don't want to get in the way of that."
"Oh don't even worry about it! We don't always go out - we've spent plenty of evenings just hanging out, no alcohol in sight. It's totally fine!"
Those few minutes weren't really enough for him to make too much of an impression, how would he measure up in actual back and forth conversation. Veera might be pretty energetic but she had a certain gruff charm that made her likeable in away Pigsy was sure he wasn't.
He looked away as he reluctantly asked, "You sure she'd actually want me there? I mean, let's be honest, I'm not exactly the easiest guy to get on with..."
Sandy looked a little confused, "Of course she would! She's been saying for ages that she'd like to meet you and you both got on great just now!"
"Yeah but how much of that is because you've bigged me up? Don't tell me you aren't a hundred percent biased. The reality is I'm just not that friendly a guy."
"Pigsy, what are you saying? Ok, I'll admit I am totally biased but I've never told her anything that isn't true! And ok, maybe you're not super sociable, which is totally fine by the way! But you're plenty friendly!"
"Yeah, right."
"It's true! Like the first day after you met Ma and Beng you cooked them up a small feast!"
"They're very thorough food critics - I wanted their feedback!" And admittedly he had a track record for going the extra mile for those that could really appreciate good food.
"You're super nice to all your regulars! You totally give them free extras all the time!"
"I work in hospitality - it's part and parcel with the job! And giving out freebies is just how you pay back loyalty!"
"Well you're always a great friend to me and the others!"
Highly debatable but instead he replied dismissively, "Family doesn't count. Face it when was the last time you saw me making friends with someone outside of work or family?"
Sandy had looked briefly starry eyed at being called family but he quickly came back to himself, "That's just because you never had time! But now you do! MK's all grown up and you've got better working hours! You just need to get out there and turn on the ol' Pigsy charm!"
Sandy was not put off by his deadpan expression and continued, "Hanging out with me and Veera is the perfect way to get your feet wet! You'll see! You and Veera are going to hit it off, I just know it! And then there's the monkey squad - you should hang out with them too!"
Reluctantly he admitted, "Actually Tang, Ma and Liu want the four of us to go on a "double date"."
"That's great! See! You're already all over it!"
He couldn't help but snap, "No, I'm not! This whole "date" thing is a terrible idea! I don't know Ma or Liu well enough for this to be anything but a disaster!"
"But you'll get to know them better by going! I don't know why you would think it would be a disaster?"
It burst out of him, as it always inevitably did, "Because of me, Sandy! Because I'm a disaster! People don't like me and for good reason! I'm just some bad-tempered, no-name demon with no idea how to actually be a person!"
Sandy looked shocked and upset at this statement and stopped them both as he turned and put a hand on his shoulder, "None of that is true."
He shrugged himself out of the his hold and turned away, hastily rubbing at his eyes with his sleeve, "Fuck. Just forget I said any of that. There's no point talking to you about this, I swear you don't actually see the real me at all."
Sandy placed a hand back on his shoulder and pointed to a nearby bench before letting go. Pigsy just followed behind him defeatedly before sitting down and avoiding looking at him.
They were both silent for a long moment before Sandy sighed heavily, "Maybe you're right and I do hold you on too high a pedestal. I just... I think you're amazing. You're the strongest, most loyal, loving person I've ever known and I just assume everyone else can see that too."
He stared at his hands for a long moment before continuing, "I know you're not perfect. Sometimes you lose your temper or can be a bit too harsh or get too competitive but you always own up to it, y'know? And it's never malicious. But I guess I can see why you'd find it hard to make new friends though. You can put up a pretty tough front too... But underneath that is the greatest guy I know."
Well, at least he knew he wasn't completely delusional but he was definitely still delusional.
"I don't understand how you got this picture of me in your head. Strong? Loving? I could give you a hundred examples to prove you wrong."
Sandy was adamant, "And I could give you a thousand more to prove I'm right. Like, just look at MK! You think I don't know how tough it must have been to raise a kid that just appeared on your door step one day? But I know you. You put everything you had into doing what's best for him. And I know-"
He couldn't stand to hear anymore, "No! You don't know! Because you weren't there!" His anger faltered at the hurt in Sandy's expression and he turned away before he covered his eyes with a hand, "Sorry, I know it's not your fault you weren't there just... Don't talk to me about MK. I can't handle it, not right now. Not when..."
He couldn't bring himself to say it. To speak out loud how much it cut him up to see MK finally have everything he couldn't give him.
Sandy's voice was firm, "Pigsy, it was my fault I wasn't there. I made my choices, I wish I'd made better ones, but... Look, that's not important right now. I don't need to have been there to see how much MK loves you - that didn't happen by accident."
He laughed a little bitterly, "We both know that you don't have to be a good parent for your kid to love you."
He unfortunately knew that fact intimately, from both sides.
He heard the extremely rare undercurrent of anger in Sandy's reply, "Don't compare yourself to her! You're nothing like her!"
He brought his arms to rest heavily on his thighs as he stared at the pavement, "No, I'm not like her... Didn't mean I couldn't have done better, been better."
Sandy took a breath, "I'm pretty sure every good parent has thought the same at some point. Nobody's perfect but I don't doubt you did your best and you have a great kid to prove it."
He didn't bother arguing just agreed, "He is a great kid."
Sandy hesitated, "You ever talked to Tang about this? About how you felt you did as a parent? I know I wasn't there but he was."
He shrugged, "Sure I must have over the years."
"But recently? Because it seems like this is really weighing on you."
Begrudgingly he admitted, "No, not recently..."
"I think you should talk to him. He was there and well... he's not really as "biased" as I am - he could give you a different perspective on things."
"It's not that big of a deal. We've got actual problems to deal with - y'know, like the world always being on the brink of destruction. Me being a little messed up over MK growing up is nothing in the grand scheme of things." He then muttered, "As if Tang hasn't dealt with enough of my shit."
"I don't think he'd see it that way. I'd think he'd want to know this was bothering you. You'd want to know if he was upset about something, right?"
"It's not the same."
"How so?"
"It just isn't, alright?"
Tang had lived a pretty normal life before all this Monkey Kid business - sure he had his issues, and good god did he have his eccentricities, but he wasn't nearly as messed up as him. It wasn't fair to saddle him with all of this, he already knew way more than Pigsy would prefer.
"I really think you should talk to him about it. Keeping all this to yourself is just going to make you feel worse. You can always talk to me but I just feel he might be better placed to help."
He didn't want a lecture from Mr. Therapy about the benefits of talking out your problems and so to sweep this behind them he offered, "I'll think about it, ok?"
He stood, "Alright, good talk but we really should get going if we're going to pick up Veera's lunch and-"
Sandy took hold of his arm and Pigsy couldn't make himself look back at him, "Pigsy, I'm really worried about you. I didn't realise just how poorly you viewed yourself. You know that we all love you, right? That we think you're great?"
He forced himself to turn around, "Yeah, I know. I didn't mean to worry you - it's just the lack of sleep talking. I know I'm great, alright? I can cook, I can fight - heh, just like you always wanted, better late than never, eh? - I can patch you all up when needs be. Everything is fine."
Sandy clearly didn't believe him but instead of arguing, he said, "Can you promise me something, Pigsy? Can you promise you'll talk to your therapist about this? About the conversation we just had?"
Therapy was a new development and so far it really wasn't doing wonders for him - he'd been through a couple therapists already, none of them clicking with him, this newest one was alright so far but he couldn't say he really understood Sandy's complete faith in it.
Under his concerned eyes though, he conceded, "Alright... I promise, next time I go I'll talk to her about it. Happy?"
He was trapped in a bear hug before he could blink, "Thank you. You're important to me. I just want to make sure you're ok."
He sighed and hugged him back, "I know. I... I really do appreciate that."
He pulled away before Sandy could start getting too mushy on him, "Now, c'mon, from what you've told me if we don't show up soon with the goods Veera will have our hides."
He could see the reluctance in Sandy to leave the conversation here but he rallied admirably, "Ah, she'll understand - she knows how easily I get caught up talking to people..."
It was a little disconcerting how easily they could pretend that everything was fine and he felt guilt eat away at him. He didn't want Sandy and Tang getting bogged down with his issues, he wanted to support them, not the other way round.
Fuck. He had just wanted to reassure himself that this double date thing was going to be fine but all he'd managed to do was worry Sandy. God, he wished they're was a believably innocent reason to call the whole thing off but there just wasn't.
He had to do this and he had to get his act together before then.