Work Text:
“Oh god.” The owl mumbled to himself. “Oh god why can’t I remember?” He had forgotten.
You may be asking, ‘forgotten what?’
“I haven’t heard his voice in so long…” he was practically on the verge of tears now. How could he? How fucking could he? He’d managed to forget how his own husband sounded and he felt like such a failure for it.
He missed him. The pain was almost unbearable, it was to the point he physically hurt from it. His teeth hurt, his chest hurt, everything just fucking hurt. It was agony. Utter. Fucking. Agony. The one thing he wanted to fucking go away was this feeling but NO! He just had to forget what his husband sounded like. That wasn’t something he wanted to lose.
“What am I doing wrong? Why- why can’t I fucking remember-?” He felt sick to his stomach as he felt the tears in his eyes slowly start to roll out of his eyes and soak into his feathers. He was struggling desperately to remember what he sounded like, he couldn’t even begin to remember what his hands felt like when he ruffled his feathers. It was genuinely gut wrenching struggling to remember these things.
He told himself that he wouldn’t ever forget, he promised himself! That horrible, wretched night that IT had told him what happened, he made a promise to himself.
He broke it.
He fucking broke it, like the pathetic failure he viewed himself as.
God he felt stupid. Matter of fact, he felt idiotic! Like an utter buffoon! It was almost funny to him. It was funny how pathetic he felt.
He could almost laugh.
But he didn’t laugh, though. He just sobbed even harder. The tears were beginning to drip down his face as well as soak into his feathers. He didn’t care though, it’s not like he was wearing his glasses or the monocle. It would be fine.
He never wore his glasses anymore. He only ever wore them so he could see his beloved better but he had no beloved to see anymore so, he decided it would be pointless to wear them. Why bother?
Losing Fantu just made him clingier to everyone else. He would carry them around like a mama cat because he felt like he NEEDED to cling onto something. That’s why he always kept the rib nearby, that’s why he left the blankets in the corner, that’s why he carried his friends like that. He just wanted something to attach to.
“I miss him. I miss him. I miss him.” It was the mantra he constantly repeated. He knew thinking about it would just make things worse on him but he couldn’t fucking help himself. He felt worthless without Fantu.
“Why did they take him away from me…? Why couldn’t I at least be there to say goodbye..? Why couldn’t-..” He became inconsolable at that point, he was a mess, utterly and pathetically incoherent as he wailed his grievances to no one in particular, slowly exhausting himself as he wept.
He’d be fine the next day.
He always was fine.
Always.