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akito stares at the small yellow pills in his palm. he shuts his eyes, wishing he hadn’t asked his doctor for medication at all. maybe it will help him feel better, but it’s only making him feel worse in this moment.
sighing, akito opens his eyes and meets his own gaze in the bathroom mirror. clutching the pills in one hand, he turns on the tap with the other. cold water spills over his fingers as he pops the pills into his mouth, quickly followed by a handful of water to wash it down.
-:-
he’s an idiot.
the doctor told him to take the pills with food, but of course he forgot and took them after dinner instead, assuming it would be fine. don’t people usually take medications with just water?
so he’s sitting on his bed next to toya, who’s peacefully reading a book while akito leans against his side. usually he likes when toya stays over, partially because it means he doesn’t have to deal with his dickbag father and partially because it’s nice to fall asleep and wake up next to someone; unfortunately, the universe decides that denying akito sufficient amounts of serotonin isn’t enough, and compels the stupid pills he took earlier to become stuck in his throat.
he isn’t choking per se, just incredibly uncomfortable from the sticky capsules clinging to his internal organs.
toya makes a questioning noise when akito gets up, watching curiously as he digs through his backpack for a water bottle. he chugs half the bottle in hopes that it will force the pills into his stomach where they belongs, but as soon as he stops drinking he can tell it didn’t help. huffing, akito slumps against toya.
“you okay?” toya prompts gently, carefully bookmarking his page and setting the book aside to place his focus on his partner. akito just grumbles and curls into the taller boy’s side.
thankfully toya doesn’t push the issue and simply runs a hand through akito’s hair. it’s nice for a minute, but only a minute — the mild discomfort blooms into nausea as his throat constricts in an unsuccessful effort to dislodge the pills. the sensation is awful, bringing an acrid taste into akito’s mouth. he gags involuntarily and immediately clasps a hand over his mouth, stumbling towards the bathroom once again.
he can hear toya call out from behind him, but his focus is elsewhere as he kneels next to the toilet, hand still firmly covering his mouth. he isn’t sure if he’s actually going to throw up, but it certainly feels like a similar sensation.
“akito! are you okay?” toya crouches beside him, wearing a worried expression as he rubs akito’s back.
another gag interrupts akito’s attempt to reply. tears of humiliation and fear prick at his eyes; it’s ridiculous, having such an extreme reaction to two tiny pills. he shakes his head, inhaling sharply when his throat constricts once again.
“what’s wrong? is there anything i can do to help?”
akito shakes his head again. fuck, it feels horrible, but the only way to get the pills unstuck is to vomit, and he would rather die. a full-body shudder runs through him at the mere thought of performing such a repulsive act.
“okay…” toya’s hand doesn’t falter upon his back. his concern for his partner only grows as akito curls up against the wall, eyes scrunched shut. “do you want to stay here, or move somewhere else?”
“give me-” akito cuts himself off with a rough swallow, making a face. “give me a minute.”
the boys sit there for a while akito just tries to handle the nausea pulsing through his gut. he can literally feel his body attempting to coerce the capsules through his esophagus, only for him to gag when the attempts ultimately fail. saliva pools in his mouth, thick and disgusting. akito digs his fingers into his forearms to distract himself, frustrated beyond belief.
“hey, don’t do that, you might hurt yourself,” toya chides gently, prying akito’s hands from his arms. akito whines, wanting the discomfort to stop but not knowing how to fix it.
“can you tell me what’s wrong, aki?”
right. toya doesn’t know what’s happening.
“took meds. stuck in my throat. making me-” he gags again, covering his mouth with both hands until he’s certain the risk has passed. “making me feel sick.”
“oh.” toya frowns. “does this usually happen?”
“no, im supposed to take ‘em with food but i forgot.”
“and the water didn’t help, i presume.”
akito hums in response. at this point he thinks he’s just gonna have to tough it out until the capsules either get unstuck or dissolve or whatever. fuck, it really feels vile, the way his body thinks he’s actively regurgitating and tries to “help” (ie. make everything worse by feeding into his worst phobia).
“do you think you’re going to throw up?” taking one of akito’s hands, toya studies him with a determined look on his face. “do you need to stay in the bathroom right now?”
after a moment of contemplation, akito shakes his head.
“okay. let’s go back to your room then, i think you’ll feel better if you sleep this off,” toya suggests, helping akito to his feet. the boys re-enter akito’s room (not once letting go of each other) and fall onto the bed, where akito immediately latches himself to his partner’s side.
the nausea has lessened somewhat — akito’s no longer freaking out, though he’s still jittery from the thought of potentially having to vomit (though he’s 90% certain he won’t). in the meantime, akito relaxes into toya’s touch, leaning into the hand running through his hair with a contented sigh. toya chuckles, glad that his partner is feeling somewhat better.
“sorry you had to deal with that,” he mumbles, face flushing in embarrassment. losing his cool over not throwing up some tiny-ass pills? he’s pathetic.
“it’s alright, you don’t need to apologize.” vibrations rumble through toya’s chest as he talks, and akito subconsciously nuzzles closer. “i want to help. i don’t like the thought of you going through a bad experience alone.”
a tiny bit of guilt emerges in akito’s mind. he knows he can trust toya, but… it’s simply not something he’s used to. he doesn’t know how.
for now though, he’s just really fuckin tired. the sooner he falls asleep, the sooner he doesn’t have to be aware of this whole predicament. sprawling across toya, akito yawns and melts into his partner’s touch. “m’kay. sorry.”
akito’s head jostles when toya laughs, but he doesn’t mind, not when he’s so comfy and warm and sleepy. besides, he loves the sound of toya’s laugh. he loves anything toya does. he loves toya.
“goodnight, aki.”
“gnight, ‘ya.”